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THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY ; OCTOBER 23 , 1887. TWELVE PAGES. - ' ' 0 " 1
Our new dress goods nre all in
and arc selling very fast. Prices
were never cheaper , and stock
never more complete.Ve \ quote
Tricots , in till colors , at 20c , 30c ,
40c , 50c and 75c ; extra value at
each price.
1 case 40 inch all wool English
Diagonals , very fine nnd heavy ,
in all colors , at 50c per yard. Ask
to sec these goods. A full line of
Plaid DRESS GOODS
at 25c , 50c , 75c , ? 1 and $1.25. A
good assortment at each price.
ifp Q ! ! tn Pflll Qnll Tlv
ilu oil ID udli dllll M
pminp fliir Qtnolr *
dllllllu Dill ollM ,
We show goods with pleasure. If
you cannot visit our store in
person
SendforSamples
We prepay Express
Charges on goods or
dered by mail.
& Co. ,
1319 FARNAM ST.
FASHION
' - --sliSlE jJi K.iS ± 5S ± iU/ /
Importers and Manufacturers of
Ladies' , Misses' & Chil-
drens'
ss ,
And Costumes ,
Furs , Underwear , Jer
seys , Corsets , etc.
MOURNING GOODS A SPECIALTY ,
In Connection with a First Class
Dressmaking Establishment ,
Re-dyeing , Repairing and Re-making
of Sealskins and Fur Garments.
1R1Q onrl IROfl UQPHQITJ Qt
lulo dllll IDtiU MMU ul ,
LEAKY ROOFING
TIN OR IRON , REPAIRED
And painted nnd guaranteed tight for nnmlioi
. .
.
of years. Valuta never blister. OICAM.I.
JIOOFINO manufactuwl n l ivpalre.1. . Hn
.
IToof 1'alnt uin > U a to bhuifites. fifteen yc.irs
. .
1111 $ , J31U St. , U t\ve 8 ArUor uud \ laton.
SOME TALES ABOUFPMEN ,
An Old Fashioned Girl Beautiful
and Oood Women.
FOUR WASHINGTON LADIES.
Theodore Tilton'a Daughter Mrs.
Storey One Thing n Woman AVoii't
Growl About Alice
Longfellow.
An Old-Fnnhloncd Girl.
Oclolitr C ( ntury ,
Old-fashioned } Yes , I must confess
The antique pattern of her drcas
The ancient frills and furbelows ,
The faded ribbons and the bows.
Why she should show these shrunken charms
That wrinkled neck , those tnwny arms ,
I can not guess ; her mssett gown
Round her spare form hangs loosely down ;
Her voice is thin and cracked ; her eye
And smile have lost their witchery.
By these faint jests , that flagging wit ,
By each attenuated cnrl ,
She surely is , I must admit ,
An odd old-fashioned girl.
'Tis ' long since she had a beau ,
And now with those who sit n-row
Along the wall she taken her place ,
With something of the old-tlmo grace ,
She yearns to Join the tniuy waltz ,
And slyly sniffs her smelling salts.
Ah , many nn angel In disguise
May walk before our. human eycsl
Where'er the fever-smitten He
In grimy haunts of poverty ,
Along the dark and squalid street ,
'Mid drunken jests of boor and churl ,
She goes with swift and pittving feet
Tliis same old-fashioned girl.
Dentiliful and Good Women.
From All the Year Round : Some ono
has classified women under two bond
ings the beautiful and the good. The
distinction may bo too absolute , but it is
certain Unit the wise man would rather
admire than marry a beautiful woman.
And it is no loss certain that many men
who have married women remarkable
for their devotion have with sorrow
scon an extraordinary change in their
\vivcs soon after marriage. In such a
case the woman may not scruple to explain -
plain this chago as duo to the novel and
jurring circumstances of married life.
Bui she will not bo &aved by such sophis
try. The father of the Jesuits know all
about it when ho made it a rule of his
life "that familiarity wi'h all women
ought to bo avoided , even with the most
devout ; that the most innocent com
merce with them , if it would not our
conscience , It-ayes some stain upon our
reputation , anil the emoko blackens ,
though the lire does not burn us. "
It lias been wild that the beautiful
woman is a book containing only a single
page , which may bo read at a glance ;
whereas the woman who is both beauti
ful and good is a book of many pages ,
proper periibal of which exacts a life
time. It may bo so ; but why is it that
the women of the latter uncommon typo
always survive their hubbands or series
of husbands ?
Enough , however. It will bo suffi
ciently evident from those few pages
that women have always been esteemed
as an amiable blunder , anil are likely to
bo the cause of incredibly bitter blun
dering in the future. While there is
time , let us entreat their leaders to look
whither they are going. To the men of
this generation , happily , it matters but
little. For
When all is thought and said ,
The heart still overrules the head ;
Still what we hope wo must believe ,
And what is given us receive.
Wo are thus assured of measure of
domestic happiness in our lives.
But , oh ye stern maidens , to whom
your fair sisters look for guidance anil
instruction , wo beseech you to have
mercy on the men of the future.
Prominent Washington Ladles.
Philadelphia Times : Since the death
of Mi-b. Bayard anil her daughter Knth-
erino , Miss Anne or Nannie Bayardtho
third daughter of the secretary , has
presided over her father's household.
She is a young lady of many attractions ,
anil will bo an ornament to the social
world of the coming season in which
the rank of her father will give her
precedence over all other unmarried
ladies of the cabinet.
Secretary Fail-child has just taken
possession of his now $ oO,000 residence
in the West End. Mrs. Fail-child has
not yet returned , as she is giving her
attention to the selection of furnishings
for the new domicile. Mrs. Whitney ,
after her summer sojourn at Lenox and
Bare Harbor , will return during the
nrei-ent month and reopen her Wash
ington house for a * brief introductory
season of mild gaycties , which will aid
in lilling up the gap between the return
of the fashionables anil the regular
bunion , beginning with the opening day
of the year.
Mrs. Lamout , who passed her summer
with her parents in Courtland , county ,
Now York , will return there with her
children to pass the time during the
absence of her husband with the presi
dent on his western journey. She is a
daughter of a well known farmer of
central Now York , and in social sur
roundings had no other experience
than the rustic training of a rural
maiden and a brief residence at Albany
before she came hero. She has since
assisted Miss Cleveland in doing the
honors of the executive mansion before
the president's marriage , and in her
own drawing rooms bho presides with a
degree of grace and dignity which has
placed her in the front rank of enter
taining ladies of the capital.
A domestic event in the household of
the representative of the kingdom of
the Scandinavian peninsula , in the na
ture of a little stranger , will add to the
interest of this pleasant household.
Madame do Konturskiold is ono of the
most attractive in person , aiTablo in
manner anil popular in social life among
the ladies of the diplomatic circle. She
was godmother to * Dorothy Paine Whit
ney at the christening of last sprjng. It
is not improbable that the compliments
of the season may bo returned by a sim
ilar sacramental representation on the
part of Mrs. Whitney. Mllo. Routor-
shiolil will bo ronfant du Corps Diplo
matique of the coming season.
Theodore Tllton's Daughter.
Chicago Tribune : There is living in
this city ono very interesting lady , who
is cosmopolitan in her experiences ,
very intellectual and artistic in her
tastes , and who would bo an addition
to any circle , literary or social , but who
really cultivates but few friends and is
little known. This is Mrs. Gardin , the
daughter of Theodora Tiller . Such leis
ure time as bhe has she spends in paint
ing , which she studied for a number ol
years in Germany and Italy. Flowers
are her favorite subjects , and she paints
these with the sentiment of a woman
and the cleverness of a true artist ,
Her life ia a busy ono , filled witl :
minor household cares and the
training of her two children. She if
childish in stature , with a mass of girl
ish black curls hanging down her back
generally knotted together with a fresl ;
ribbon. Her eyes are largo and oxpres'
sivo , and light up tier small fr.co in t
manner peculiar to her very dark eyes
She is to be seen often about the pictun
bhopa and studios , generally leading
luir-liUle daughter by the hand. Hoi
homo is a modest one1 in some respects
but it is exceedingly interesting am
absolutely uuiquojTublijs rich
Venetian carving , stand on the ingrain
carpets. A few pictures from the hands
of masters decorate the plainly papered
walls ; between the swaying of the simple
muslin curtains are vnscs of antique
porcelain , and in the unpretentious
book cases are volumes of rare and
quaint bindings. An atmosphere of
scholnrlineHs elevates the whole into
something better than luxury.
CoHt or Fnfclilonnblc Daughters.
Now York Mail : "I have launched
three daughters in twelve years , " said
a well known man the other day. "Tho
first averaged $2,000 for three seasons
till she married. The second cost mo
J0,000 a year for two years. Number
three required $15,000 a year to keep
her in gowns , and now my wife and I've
got to put $ -3,000 moro on that to see
number four , who is just coming out
well started. There is ono comfort ,
however. It is harder on their hus
bands than it is on mo. A young girl
can't dress like n married bcllo does ,
and I suppose my second daughter is
spending something like $30,000 , now. "
Mrs. Storey.
Mrs. Wilbur F. Storeyon being nskcd
if there were any truth in the reports
that the Chicago Times is to bo cold ,
answered : "There have been tenders
made to mo for the property , but they
were altogether under its value. I was
offered $350,000 , but promptly refused
it. It looks now as if my enemies had
decided to blackmail mo by endeavor
ing to depreciate the property in order
to induce mo to sell. I proposOj however -
over , to got the paper if there is any
law left , and to run it for a time. Hav
ing done that I probably would be will
ing to sell fora fair price. " Mrs. Storey
has been invited to furnish a portrait of
her husband for the house of represen
tatives at Washington , and will paint it
herself.
Study and Health.
Mllo. Lucio Hall , doctor at Vabsar
college , on going into the question of
hygienic inlluenco of hard study on
women , with regard to the remarkable
diminution of largo families in Ameri
ca , has come to the following conclu
sions , which deserve to bo examined :
Ono hundred and seventy-six families
proved on examination to have only an
average of from three to four children.
Now , out of these families these who
had. the largest number of children
were found to have highly educated
mothers , not to say educated above the
average. Dr. Hall's experience has
proved to her that the health of the
young people is particularly good , and
oven improves as the studies increase.
She cites the following words of M.
Bascom , director of the Wisconsin Uni
versity : "Tho health of our young people
ple in no wise diminishes whilst with
us ; oil the contrary , I have long since
noticed that .1 young lady who gives up
society and takes up reasonably with
study at the university is in far potter
condition , ns far as her health is con
cerned , than the majority of her sex. "
One Thing Snored.
San Francisco Chronicle : A woman
will growl about anything in a theater ,
except ono thing. She'll complain
about the seals ; she'll have something
to say about the restless man in _ front of
her , the talkative people behind her ,
the narrowness of the rows , the badness
of the gas , but she never bays a word
about the woman's tall hat in front of
her. She'll bob serenely up and down
and right and left , and crane over and
under to see the stage , but she will not
object. Why ? Because she's very
likely got ono on herself. That should
not prevent her from speaking out , be
cause very often wo complain of the very
thing in others wo do ourselves. I may
say we always do. But there's some
thing sacred about the fashion
for a woman. The fashion covers a
multitude of sins against taste. It
does not matter how ugly a dress maybe
bo on a woman ; if she's in the fashion
she's all right. You cannot 4f > care a
woman out of a high hat. Ridicule ,
supplication , insinuationall have failed.
The papers have tried it all sorts of
ways. They have oven called women
ugly who wear them. They don't mind.
It's no use calling women ugly , anyway.
They don't believe they are. You can't
get them to believe it. Theysomotimcs
say they are themselves , They don't
believe it. You cannot knock out of a
woman consciousness that bho is attrac
tive. They cannot believe that what is
strictly fashionable is unbecom
ing. It is impossible. The
high hat has knocked the life out of the
matinee , though. That's where the
woman got the full benefit of its incon
venience. And if woman could go to
the theater at night alone the theater
business would go to pieces , for neither
men nor women would go and bit behind
the high hat. But what are you going
to do about it ? It's the ono kind of
thing about which a woman will not bo
dictated to by a man.
Girls Becoming Superior to Boys.
American Magazine for October : The
uporintondent of so heels in Cleveland ,
O. , ( perhaps the model school city of
the second class in America ) , two years
ago reported , on the part of the boys in
the high school , a loss of 10.0 per cent ,
from the ratio as it stood ton years
before. The superintendent at St. Jo
seph , Mo. , whoso own proportion of boy-
graduates stood sixth highest in a list
of thirty schools that ho tabulated , bays :
"Tho young men of the country will bo
compelled in self defenbo to prolong
their time of study at school or college ,
or else submit to a continual reminder
of their inferiority in scholarship to the
young ladies with whom they mingle in
the social circle. '
.
Women In Drugstores.
Binghampton Democrat : "Why are
women never employed in drug stores ? "
was asked of a druggist labt week. "Bo-
cause they find it too ditlicult to keep a
secret , " replied the compoundor of
drugs and medicines. "A Pharmacy be
comes a regular confessional. Hero it is
that wo learn who paints , who powders ,
who is addicted to the opium habit , and
whoso house is infested with vermin.
Then , again , wo learn all about people's
bodily atUictions and weaknesses. Of
all abominations , a loose-ton gued gossip
about a drug store is the worst , and the
general impression is that a woman will
talk no matter what is at stake. "
Occupations For Women.
Now York Teleirrnm : I have lately
hoard of several useful occupations
taken up by English ladies. For example ,
the making of jewelry , and different
articles in gold and silver. Original
and artistic designs are in this way
made and carried out by a young Eng
lish girl of my acquaintance , who ia at
present engaged in the moro dillicult
task of stono-sotting. Skill can easily
bo attained by any ono who has a facul
ty for using their hands , although it
takes time , patience find practice to ar
rive at very great results. A good diamond
mend setter constantly at work can
earn $3,000 to $1,000 , a year. Then again
there is a bookbinding , marquetry and
photography , which ia all quite lit for
the ladies to busy themselves with. The
latter , perhaps , demands a le&sor extent
of intellect and dexterity of the lingers ,
but it requires artistic taste and a cer
tain amount of study.
Woman an n Diner.
Now York Suns "Who are the besi
companions ; ata , dinner ? "
' % 'bnjQn are almost invariably good
company , but you should remember
never to waste n good dinner on a
woman. They have absolutely no idea
of the delicacies and bcautico of n
thoroughly balanced dinner , and the
younger they are the less nhlo are they
to appreciate the work of an accom
plished chef. There is scarcely a
woman in Now York who would not
rather put on a now gown and cat a
wretched dinner amid the splendor of
Dolmonico's or the Brunswick than eat
a capital dinner nt a lowly restaurant.
A man , on the other hand , had rather
eat a good dinner in.a hovel than a bad
one in a palace. What the women like
is lots of tinsel , gold , cut glass , colored
lights , gorgeous laces , graceful cham
pagne glasses , and strains of music.
Give them these things and they don't '
care a rap for the rest. . "
A Beggar With a Competence.
The Epoch : Near Central park there
lives a woman who occupies a comfort
able apartment and scorns to possess a
competence. She rises late and has her
breakfasts sent daily fqom a neighbor
ing cafo. To the -waiter she is liberal ,
tipping him frequently.
Not long ago this wtjitcr , when pas
sing along Third avenue was accosted
by a beggar woman. She was wretch
edly dressed , repulsively ugly , and
squalid. The waiter gnvo her a muti
lated coin and the beggar thanked him
volubly.
The next dav the waiter received the
same mutilated coin from the woman to
whom ho had carried breakfast. Ho
was astounded. Ho could not believe
that the woman who tipped in so regal
a manner and the wretched beggar of
the avenue wore ono and the same per
son.
son.Ho concluded to experiment. Mark
ing a coin , ho took a position on the
avenuo. Soon the same woman that
had begged from him the night before
asked him for alms. Ho gave her the
marked piece of money.
Two days afterward ho received it
from the woman of the apartment when
she paid for her breakfast. Ho then
accused her of mendicancy. She dis
covering that she was cleverly caught ,
laughed and aidVo : both take tips ,
you and I. " ,
The waiter relished the joke. Ho
continues to serve ho She continues
to tip him and to projj upon the public.
Alice Ijonj [ fellow.
Boston Herald : M ss Alice M. Longfellow -
follow has been chose a a member of the
Cambridge school committee. She is a
daughter of the grew , poet. She has
recently been largely ntcrcstcd in edu-
catSonal matiers in th ) University City ,
and has devoted a { * rcat deal of her
time toward the i ntablishment and
caraying on of Indus rial and kinder-
gartcn schools. She } s a graduate of a
female college and ra ked very high in
her class. As an exa nplo of her stand
ing in educational r lattcrs , it may bo
stated that she is ono 3f the trustees of
the Harvard annex. The election of
MibS Longfellow will' ilaco two ladies on
the school board.
A Smart T.lttlo I corgi a Girl.
Excelsior , ( Gn. , ) Eagle : Mr. Benja
min Atwood , of this cuunty , lias a little
daughter twelve ycnrjj old , who is quite
an exception. She hits just completed
a quilt which contain 2,170 pieces. She
has a very good Uteri ry education , as
well as extensive knowledge of house
hold duties. The firsl day bhe picked
cotton this season ( ho gathered 111
pounds , sea island , wljioh is moro than
double her weight.
HONEY FOIl ) LADIKS.
Velvet is still the fabrRi for dressy hats.
There are 97,000 widows in Massachusetts
Silver jewelry is becoming very fashion
able. 4
Bodices laced at thi * back are again in
vogue ,
Paris women are again -wearing the hair
massed on the back of thJ ( head.
The census of England and Wales records
7,6(18,000 ( women as wag < > earners.
None but street suits ii'nd walking dresses
are made with coat sleeves this fall.
All new evening and reception gowns have
their corsages very richly decorated.
Gray in every shade is considered in Paris
just now the most stylish of all colors.
Emeralds are sought after moro and m
every day. the liner grade being very scarce.
Young matrons have ro-adopted fancifii
breakfast caps for homo wear in the morn
ing.
ing.There
There are 10,000 milliners in New York ami
Brooklyn , or about ono bonnetmakertooverj
fifty women. r
The woman with "the ] very best husband
in the world" is always' ' sure ho might bo ti
deal better if ho only would.
On invitation cards the Initials U. S. V. P ,
have been superseded by the plain English ,
"An answer is desired. "
A pretty innovation in ladles' card-cases i :
ono of Uussian leather or crocodile skin , ir
which is inserted a very small watch.
A present style consists in wearing fou
gold wire rings on the same finger , each boini.
set with a single small stone , as a sapphire ,
emerald and ruby.
A Wisconsin woman recently delivered a
lecture on "Fifty Years of Progress for
Woman , " but she mentioned no new way or
darning stockings.
Buttons are considered out of fashion on
the costumes of the period. Their manufac
turers are mourning , but hook and eye
makers arc rejoicing.
The farmer who saw his family arrayed in
new huts exclaimed : "There go my wife
and daughters with thirty bushels of rye
apiece on their heads. "
Mrs. Walker is the most successful farmer
in Georgia , She owns and manages several
thousand acres of land , which this year will
yield her a profit of 0,000.
Three hundred thousand copies would bo n
small figure for the number of pictures of
Mrs. Cleveland sold since the announcement
of her betrothal to the president.
The Michigan maiden who chased a robber
with a pitchfork and made him drop his
booty , is said to bo receiving an average of
fifteen offers of marriage per week.
The long waved Astrakhan fur , so much
used for Jackets a quarter of a century ago , is
in favor again for the same purpose , but it
has been rechristened "Caracal.1'
Natty little English coats and Hungarian
jackets will bo worn extensively with tailor-
made suits. They are trimmed with gimps
in scroll , wheel and arabesque patterns , and
are very stylish and serviceable.
Feathers and birds , notwithstanding all the
protests from delicate minded people , both
hero and abroad , against this barbarous
style of socalled ornament , nro the trimmings
mostly used on winter hats and bonnets.
An orchestra of women , who are all players
of brass instruments , is making a sensation
In Dresden. The ladies have an engageinect
for Vienna next winter , where they will
play at a series Ot"'GallramGns the aristo
cracy.
The Woman's Kcllef corps has a cause of
dissension as to membership. Ono party
holds that any patriotic woman may become
a member , while the other party declares
that only these related to war veterans are
eligible.
Jackets are still very popular , especially
these which just fasten at the throat and
then open broadly , revealing a trim-fitting
vest that Is elaborately decorated with bead
ing , embroidery or silk cord ornaments in
applique.
A new sash of ribbon , about four Inches
wide , which is first parsed tightly around
the Vrnist to the back , then brought forward
again and tied in long loops and ends on the
left in front , Qbaut five inches below the
waist lino.
Joliet has a club composed of persons of
both sexes. The club rooms nro elegantly
fitted up and provided with a billiard table
nnd other means of amusement. The lady
members all carry both club rooin keys und
night keys.
Suede gloves will not go out altogether , be
cause they are peculiarly becoming to the
hand , fitting better than any other kind , and of
I such good coloring. French "kid , ' however ,
[ { i MMB B BP I
White House of Omaha
*
TUFT'S ' SODA FOUNTAINS AND WHITE SEWING MACHINES ,
Not a Break in Their Success. The New White is Almost
Perfection. More Premiums this Fall at Nebraska Fairs
than all other Machines Combined.
Without reference to any particular feature , but upon the broad claim
of superiority as a general family Sewing Machine , adapted to all people
ple and to all classes of work. The manufacturers placed the WHITE
upon the market ten years ago.
Over 600,000 WHITE MACHINES now bless an equal number of
homes. Easy to learn , easy to operate , easy to sell , fast motion , wide
feed , self threading , cylinder shuttle , , automatic bobbin winder ; a ma
chine that runs light and quiet , and will last a lifetime. This office was
opened August 8th , 1879 , and we point with great pride to the White
record in Omaha , and the western territory controlled by it. Supplies
and needles , shuttles , etc. , for all machines. Do not wait but write
for terms to THE THORNTON MACHINE CO. ,
Catalogue Free. 121 North 15th Street.
F. S. Also Agency for Tuft's Soda Water Apparatus. Reliable agents
wanted.
which is much more durable , is more gen
erally worn.
An apparent surplus at evening entertain
ments is reckoned unions the vulgar things of
social life. The time has gone by when people
ple stuff their guests. No dish is filled and
simplicity of menu and service is the charm
of elegant hospitality.
A chief feature of many of the autumn
mantles is the pepluin fronts , fulling straight
and square or gathered at the ends , and fin
ished with a beaded ornament. The majority
of these wraps , however , are short on the
sides and at the back.
Miss Mary Linskcy leaped into the river at
Detroit last Monday and rescued a drowning
: hilil. A dozen men stood on the wharf and
vitnesscd the bravo act and then sank away
loforo the heroic woman was assisted to the
here by the captain of a tug.
Hustles are becoming very narrow. One
mull cushion , fastened on the Inside of the
Iress with a single spring , is sufficient for
his purrosc. Two springs are all that are
equired for tall figures. Tournuro skirts
re only needed for wear under train dresses.
Pretty antique watches are worn by ladies.
To the ring of the watch is a cluster knot of
"ilaek moire ribbon is tied , and the timepiece
s thus thrust into the corsage , leaving only
ho ribbon disclosed as a sort of dress decora-
ion. This allows one to wear a watch on all
iccasions.
Few women can appropriately wear the
linir in Greek style. To begin withtho locks
.should be very abundant ; secondly , the feat
ures should bo Classic in outline ; and lastly ,
ho face should bo btilitiful , or at least at-
.ractivo enough to bear the test of this severe
.tyle . of coiffure.
A new style of pocket handkerchiefs is
clegantthough simple ; they are of white
cumbrio with the edge scolloped out and em
broidered in button-hole stitch with colored
cotton : in one of the corners , close to the
edge , there is a square of colored cotton of
the color of the edging , on which the initials
are embroidered in white.
The combination undergarment known as
, hc union suit has grown in general favor
.mtil many women who would laugh at the
Idea of dress reform and disclaim any con
victions relative to the necessity for change
in general attire year after year purchase
and wear some form of union flannels or silk
garments in place of the vest and drawers.
Fashions in winter colors are deciding their
; ints , and the great favorite is to be dark
ness green trimmed with black. Black
jralding is placed either around the extreme
edge of Jupo or in panels at each side point-
'ng ii ) > toward the waist. Of course , the
alack moire vest is worn as usual. Combina
tion kid boots with green cloth tops , a lighter
shade of green stockings.
There appears to bo an unusual demand for
silk-faced velveteen. This fabric is made up
rery frequently of blocked , striped , or
checked surah in gay Konian colors. It is
ulbo intermixed with corded silk in the
draperies of the skirt. Plain untrimmed
skirts of dark green , golden brown , or terra
cotta velveteen are worn beneath liusslan
polonaises of tweed. Irish blarneys in block
designs , Lincolnshire suitings and camels'
hair and serge fabrics in monochrome.
There is a society of young ladies in Ores-
ton , la. , known as the "S. N. B. , " which
letters stand- for "Speak No Evil. " The
cardinal principle of the organization is to
discourage the practice of speaking evil
words of others , and each member is fined 1
cent for each and every offense. There arc
twelve members , and at the last regular
meeting the fines amounted to ( IT.iil.
Already "what to do with the surplus" is
the absorbing topic , and the members nro
fast becoming converted to the belief that
taxing the necessaries of life is wrong in
principle.
The new fur is the Monflon , an excellent
gray fur. It is brighter and far moro silky
than the imitation gray fox sold last year ,
and lasts better than real blue fox , which is
costly and will stand but little wear and tear.
Monilon is made into boas and plastrons , for
the fur plastrons are newer and more becom
ing than capes. The plastron forms a largo
collar in the back , and in front it tapers to
the waist. The blue opossum is much used
also. Many of the boas touch the feet. MulTs
show small heads , and are made to contain
purses and bags , as of yore.
EDUCATIONAL.-
The Persian language is taught at Cornell
university.
At the examinations for the new fellow
ships in Princeton college the number of np
plicants were not large.
There are more students from farmers'
families in the Ann Arbor university than
from these of any other occupation.
Professor Hoyco , whoso specially is logic
and metaphysics , is considered the most pro
found thinker at Harvard college.
No one has been elected to succeed Dr.
Bardour ns college pastor atsYalo , and Presi
dent Dwight will have charge of the religious
services for the year.
Mr. Charles S. .Tohnson , of Now York , and
Mr. Harry Lockwood , of Batavia , 111. , were
the successful competitors for the Sloan
scholarships at Rut cur college this year.
An entire class of eighteen law students
passed a successful examination at Salem ,
Oregon , recently , find were admitted to the
bar. Miss Howard , n young lady student ,
passed quite as creditably as the young men.
Prof. F. A. March , of Lafayette college ,
Prof. Thomas Chase , ex-president of Haver-
ford college , Rev. H. TJ. Wayland , .lames W.
Wark , Arthur Biddlo and Samuel A Boyle ,
of Philadelphia , have been appointed by
Governor Beaver , of Philadelphia , as the
"spelling" coinmision , in pursuance of a legis
lative resolution to "consider the propriety of
adopting a correct orthography for the pub
lic documents to bo printed , and how far
such amended orthography may with pro
priety be adopted. "
[ There has been much nnxlety In Balti
more to ascertain the effect upon John Hop
kins university of the passing of the Balti
more & Ohio dividend. A gentleman con
nected with the university says : "Tho uni-
vOrslty has largo investments in other securi
ties than the Baltimore & Ohio stock. The
Johns Hopkins university has about $2,500-
000 invested in other securities , and the rest
01 the funds in 15,000 shares of Baltimore &
Ohio stock. The Joss of the dividend will
not interfere with tha'workng ( of the uni
versity , as the trustees have not spent the
whole Income each year , uud consequently
have a good surplus,1 * . , - . " ' ' .
IN THE FUMOAN'S ' DOMAIN ,
Double Bar-rolled Wooing Too Sacred -
crod for Intrusion.
Xho Umpire's "Winter Companion
Brother Smith Rebuked The
Iowa Way Bits
of Fun.
Donblp-Uarrelcd Wooing.
Cliteaao aVMwic. * "
"Will you bo mineJ" said the ardent youth ;
"No , no , " the maiden said ,
As she looked at him with a mocking smile
pAnd pertly tossed her head.
He slipped on her finger a sparkling ring
And drew her to his side ;
"Two noes mean yes. you saucy minx , "
Exultingly he cried.
Ho held her fast ; ho watched her frown
Then pout then blush and stammer ;
The dear girl could'nt stand a siege
Of love and English grammar.
Too Snored for Intrusion.
Now York Sun : "It can never bo ,
George , " she said and her voice
sounded far away "all is over ; we must
part and part forever. "
And George sat in the darkening twi
light , with bowed head and clenched
hands , watuhing the colors of his life
grow cold and gray.
"Is all over , indeed , between us ,
ClaraV" ho said "No
, brokenly. moro
warinlhandelaspsno moro lovclit glances ,
Ho more btolon kisses , sweeter than nec
tar , no "
"No , George , never moro. "
"No more moonlight strolls. " ho wont
on , groping wildly for his hat , "or tender -
dor communion beneath stnry skies ; no
nero tutti-frutti at Delmonico's ; no
"
nero
"Oh , George , dear , " broke in the
jirl , with a convulsive sob and now
nor warm , sweet breath was tickling
liis ear "I cannot bear to see you thus
cast down. Let me unsay these dreadful
words. Let me "
But , gcntlo reader , wo must withdraw
rom this sacred scone.
Nature and Art.
Nature made the model man
With perfect form , though nude ;
The tailor dressed the fellow up ,
The man was then a dude.
The Old Kind Good Enough.
"Do yon believe In corporal punish
ment ? " asked an Arkansas school board
of an applicant for a position us teacher
of a rural school ? "
"Do 1 b'lieve in what ? "
"In corporal punishment , "
"No , I don't , was the roply. "I don't
b'lieve in none o' these fancy now kind
o' punishments. Gimmo a keen willor
gad , or a good limber hick'ry club , an'
fen can go to grass with' your corp'ral
kind o' punishments. "
The Old Story.
Now in the parlor meet the pair ,
When golden day is done ,
Two forms with but ono rocking chair ,
Two hearts that beat as ono.
The Right Man for the Place.
"Can you give mo a po&ition as um
pire ? "
"Havo you any of the qualifications
for any umpire ? "
"Well , yes ; for twenty years I fol
lowed , the occupation of horse thief in
the west , nnd I cmididly believe
that I escaped from us many an forty
mobs in that timo. I flatter myself that
I can got away from a lot of angry men
as quiuk as any man in the stuto. "
Of course wo cjm give you a job ; why
didn't you say that you had had exper
ience ? "
The Umpire's AVIntcr Companion.
Washington Critic : "Want to sell
that mule ? " asked a quiet-looking man
on the sidewalk.
"Vcs , but I'll bo honest with you , mis-
tor. I don't think you'll want him ; he's
an awful kicker. "
"Is ho a full-jeweled , thorough going ,
first-class kicker ? "
"You bet. "
"Well , nnmo your figure ; I'll tak'e
him. "
"Great Scott , mister , what do you
want of him ? "
"Company. I'm a base ball umpire
nnd I don't want to fool lonc&omo this
winter.
The Plumber's Proy.
The iceman smiles as ho counts the gains
Derived from the trade of summer ,
And as ho walks the street disdains
The greeting of the plumber.
Ho feels his oats ; well , let him smile ,
Tliis thing will bo adjusted.
He'll raaljo a hole In the Iceman's pile
When the water pipes are "bubtcd. "
Ilrothcr Pickles Smith Helwkcrt
Detroit Free Press : Pickles Smith
had boon wiping off his chin and wait
ing for an opportunity to deliver a great
speech , und the opening now presented
was seized upon to stnto that a manu
facturer of fctomuch bitters hnd offered
him $7 for the privilege of making anew
now brand. "Tne Only Genuine Pick
les Smith Tonic. " Before returning a
decided answer ho hnd thought best to
bring the matter before the club.
"Bruddor Smith , " said the president ,
ns he softly scratched the back of his
head , "I have no doubt dat you could
take dat $7 and make good use of it , but
you will ncbor BOO do cabh. Sir Isaac
Walpolo. has been offered $20 for do use
of liis ndmo on a patent rat trap. Givo-
dam Jones could own a mule .if ho would
fathcr'anew.braudof fatpvo. 'blacking.
Trustee Fullback has been offered a now
Knit of clothes to put his name on a linlr
dye label , an' I reckon dat mos' all of ua
could sell out for more or less. But t
has put my tut right down on all mich
nonsetifao. If manufacturers want help
to palm off doir wares an' compounds on
an inorcont public lot 'cm go to mem
bers of congress , mayors of cities , guv'-
nors of states wid a pen in ono linn' an'
a ten dollar bill in de odor. Wo nuts'
maintain our honor an' integrity or do
purceedings of dis club will sink to dg _ )
lovcl of a session of con gross. "
Mury'H Ijittlo Lot.
Mary had a little lot
And thought she'd ' better sell ;
She placed it on the market ,
And the way that lot did well ,
It sold six times within a week ,
And every time it went
The lucky man who bought It
Cleared OT per cent.
The Only AVny to Kat Corn.
Elmira Ga/ctto : "What is the best
way of eating corn on the cob ? " asked a
young married woman of her husband
at dinner the ether day.
"Don't know , " was the gruff reply ,
"never tried to eat corn on u cob ; al
ways cat it off. " i
The nilzznrd and the Fox.
A fox who was crossing the fields ono
day encountered a buzzard , Avho notr
only jeered and insulted him , but
actually dared him to combat. A peasant
vho came upon the scene expressed his"
surprise that the fox should submit to
such conduct , but the latter replied :
"An enemy not worth burying IB not
worth killing. "
Moral : That's why so many loafer
remain unthumpcd. <
She Objected.
I clasped her little hand in mine ,
Embraced her beauteous form ;
I vowed I'd shield her from the wind
And from the world's cold storm.
She set her lovely eyes on mo.
Her tears did wildly flow ,
And with her little lips she said
"Confovnd you , lot mo gol"
The Iowa Way.
"I found the funniest thing down at
Mason City the other day , " remarked
Minneapolis man who had just re
turned from Iowa.
"It was in the St. Charles hotel. Next
to the little shelf where they place the
Irinking cup , which is attached to the
ice-cooler , is a little card. On it is
printed :
; Please do not use the cup :
; for your medicine. The clerk :
; will furnish ono on application :
; to the ofllco. :
"Seo how things nro worked in a pro
hibition town ? "
A Study In Natural Facts.
Student Have you over been a Btr ing-
halt ?
Professor Yes , and I have also seen
a rope-walk.
S. Why do they put sleepers down
on a railroad track ?
P. I suppose to fill up the roadbed.
S. Do you think inanimate ) things
possess feolingH ?
P. Yes ; steel has a different temper ,
and I have seen a cross-barr and a mad-
stono.
S. There is a language of flowers ; is
there ono for vegetables ?
P. Probably. Beanstalk.
S. What musical instrument shoul
a shoemaker play ?
P. A shoe-horn.
S. And a gas-fitter ?
P. A tuba.
S. And a mathematician ?
P. The triangle and cymbals.
S. And a lover ? ,
P. A mouth-organ.
S. And an osteologist ?
P. The bones.
S. And a dancer ?
P. Alto. You might go on nnd say a
snako-cliarmor should play the serpent ;
a villian the double-bass ; a smoker the
pipe-organ ; a poet the euphonium ; a
grocer the piccolo ; and a pugilist thd
musical-box.
P. What would you call ' 'a stormy
look-out ? "
P , Ibupposo the "wind's oye. "
S , What PongB do brigands bing ?
P. Bun-dittis.
S. Where can I see the bcbt "baro
back act ? "
P. At the opera.
S , Who ought to wear a wardrobe ?
P. A hospital nurse.
S. What is a "shooting-star ? "
P. Buffalo Bill.
S. Why do they say "as jolly as a
sand boy ? "
P. Becaubo a sand boy wouldn't be
likely to bo shingled.
S. What is a "crank ? "
P. Something to ba turned awuy
from ono.
S , Have you scon a house moving ?
P. Yes ; but not as quickly as a homo
run. I have also seen a mill race.
R. Did you over see a rail-fence ?
P. Yes ; and I have seen n trefoil ,
and a match-box , and a bhip-spar , and A
street-light.
S. What is n "coigno of 'vantage ? "
P. A Bland dollar ; the " 'vantage" ,
is the government's.
S. What dress should a vaulter wear ?
P. A spring overcoat.
S. Wlrnt is the difforon.ee .between ( *
billiard player nnd an actor ?
'P. The 0110 pick's up hia cue to mnka
a'brcak , the ' other tosave , " f ) Vj ) kt J
' ' '
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