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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 2, 1887)
fifi THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY OCTOBER 2. 1887.-TWELVE PAGES. I SOME MATRIMONIAL STORIES A Scene at a Wcddlug A.Learned Wife. , ROMANCE AT CASTLE GARDEN. ho ItrlfJo Hacked Otii A Very 1'c- cullar Mar ring ? A llrhlc'it Pres ent A IMiitnlijIit Siarrlage ( iornnui Weddings1. A IjRiunrdVI / > . Blie l.'imws every modern ism , and , as fiom a hiininn prison , each tlu'osoihv | nnd philosophy is lolk'cted tJoiii her mind ; Knows the standing , scope niu < status of tlio Iler.cons , Knnts and 1'latos : Iu philol ogy and psychology shu wndiM In and goes It blind. { Sin. ! will talk jon to paralysis wllh her "chumlcalanalyslK,1 * with "trichotomy" and iililubotomy" on her victim she w ill tiounco ; She will kill jou If jou'ie klllnhle , with her .louiid'ni : thlitcuti sylnblu , ancient , alien , sesquipedalian words no fellow- cm ) pronounce. Hut her husband , helpless sinner , eats his bread and water dinnerluckless lellnw In the cellar , thro' his lone dyspeptic For his lo'vely wife bevvilchlni ; piles the tables In the kitchen with the lexicons ( il old Mexicans and with ey-clo du dl-ns. And without a curse or .stammer thro' largo piles of Sanscrit grammar with aulllty mid ability picks his way 'round like a oat. And the big hole In his "trovvsis" no svvuet wifely aid arouses , with complacency nnd patience ho conceals It with his hat. A Bconn at n Wedding. New York Times : A merry wedding party assembled Sunday evening in Vienna hall , at 1'ifty-eitrhtli street and Lexington avenue , to eolebrato the nup tials of Miss Irene Uookcl , the youngest daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Louis lleckel , of < U'.l Ie\ington avenue , and Hermann Sohoyera well known Montreal coinmls- Mon 'merchant. The marriage ceremony liad just boon performed by the Uev. Dr. Kooli'er ' , of the Uoth-Kl synagogue , in Lexington avenue- , the newly married ronplo had received the congratulations of the assembled relatives and friends , nnd tlie music had just snick up for the iiolonaise , which was to bo led by the Itndo and groom , when sounds of a disturbaiieo and loud exclamations in a wonvin's voice were heard from the ves tibule. Sovotal gentlemen hurried out and found n handsome little dark-eyed Jew- i > s3 on tlie point of falling in a faint. The lirst to reach her .side recoiled upon see ing tlio silver mountings of a revolver Hashing from the folds of her dress , but lie recovered himself and caught the fainting woman with onu arm while witii the other he snatched the pistol from her grasp. Summoning onu of the company to his assistance ho hurried the passive woman into the.elevator and conducted liei to an upper rodin , sending out to the company the information that a servant had fainted. Dr. Isaac Opponheimor was sent to her assistance and a vthispnr in the ear of : i bridegroom led him to hastily excuse himself for a moment and liurry alter the physician. When with the llush of his new honors still snlVusing Ins cheeks the newly mar ried man entered the chamber. Ho was confronted by a figure from which he re coiled in evident terror , and ho would liavo made a precipitate flight had not tlio burning words of tlio woman hold Jiim as by a spoil. With panting breath nnd ( lashing eyes , ono band upon her Jieavlng breast and the other pointing as if to tnuitiv tl.u bridegroom , .she cried : "Y DM have broken my heart and ruined my life , and now you cast mo into the world without a name. " With this her btrcugth failed and she fell back upon the bed in a swoon. The three men who had been witnesses of this scene hastily iushod ; Scheyor from the room , telling him to go ruck and conduct liimself as if nothing had hap pened , they would take care of the woman boheyor lingered in the hall a moment to collect bus scattered faculties , nnd wont back to the side of the girl who Jiad just become his wife. Tlio guest i vvoroquieted with the assurance tliat tlio limiting woman had been sent home in a carriage. The music .struck up , the dance wont on , and joy was apparently nnconlined. This occurred a. little nftor 7 o'clock. In : x few moments the woman had recovered millieicntly to bo conducted to her car riage and driven to her hotel in Kast Klovonth street. Arriving about 3 o'clock , HUI ! spent the next hour and n Iialf in writing out the story of her rela tions with Hermann Schoycr. From tills statement and some clip pings from Montreal newspapers it ap pears that shu had been behaved by Jsehoyor under promise of marriage in Montreal over two years ago. Her name Is Viola Cohan , and she is the daughter of a , vvull-to-do decorator. Some mouths after , finding that Soheyurdid not intend to tnllill his promise , .she laid in wait for him on tliu street and fihot him. inflicting , however , only u slight abrasion of the arm. Witli tlio noise ot the report fdic fainted away , and when she again recovered consciousness found herself in a hospital ward , her baby by her side. No prosecution followed her attempt upon Sehoyor's life , and she was allowed upon recovery , to leave the hospital without molestation. A few weeks after tills the child was ( spirited away mysteri ously , and though the mother has sought it incessantly , she has not seen it smco. Learning a few ( lavs ago that Sehoyor had gone to Now York to bu married to Mis.s licckol , Miss Cohen determined if possible to prevent the ceremony. Witli- ojit stopping to pack even a satchel she came here , arriving Sunday morning , nnd going at once to hotolr There she remained all day awaiting tlie time lixed for the ceremony , when she int"iulod to appear and proclaim her wrongs. This , according loJowith customs , would have prevented llio marriage , lint she came too late. The ceremony had boon lin- ishod , and according to the law Hermann Jscheycr and Irene 15eekel were man and wife. wife.At 9 o'clock Miss Cohen started for Hoston on her way back to Montreal , htill vowing a speedy vengeance upon Hchoyor. In the meantime the wedding festivities wont on at Vienna hall Shortly after midnight the bride and irroom bid their friends good-bv and ru > tired to their hotel , which they left at an early hour yosturday morning for theii future homo in Montreal. The Hrjtlo HnokM Out. yiihi.mvii.i.i : , 111. , . Sept. 1' ' ) . Hugh HaVolett arrived from Hrooklyn , N. Y. about a yonr ago and engaged to work foa Skclton llirketl , a wealthy tanner o ! this county. A few weeks ago Ilujih.wlu is about twenty year.s old , told his cm ployer that when about ten yeats old Iu agreed to marry Until Mob-on , ouo yoai ihis junior , and that lie was still of thai mind , and had sent money to thu yonn lady to como hero for the purpose ot mar iriago , asking permission to bring her ti his employer's house till alter the cere mony. Consent being given , the yotinj : lady arrived and was hospitably roeoivoi tin Mr. llirkott's palatial residence lla/olelt applied to the imthoritie < or a marriage license , bu nijo d to obtain it , owing ti his minority His father , on application pumiptly sent written consent to tin coiiutv clerk , Meanwhile the younu lady had so charmed the Uirkett family by her amiability and accomplishment : that they decided to give u grand wed ding dinner , Uev , Mr. ufack , of liethany was sent for , the wedding quests wcro there , when .to the astonishment of all , the young couple entered and declared hat they had changed their minds just then and that the wedding would not take place. Ml s Hob on at once left for her Brooklyn home , not a bride , but to return to her former occupation , that of bookkeeper in a bank. It is understood that Miss ll'jbson declined lo marry Ha/eli'tt because the latter had retire * Routed to her and her parents1 that he owned a home of hh own , which she found to bo fnl'i1 , whereupon she con cluded at tin ) last moment nottotruU her whole future to one who attempted to deceive her in the otitstart. A Very Peculiar Town Topic' : I hcatd of a very pe culiar marriage that took place in the auditorium in Ocean ( Srovo that founds almost like a romance. A ycitng New York broker foil in lo\ewitha country girl while summering here , but the mother , who seems to have been a sort of she diagoon , objected to the suit. She had possibly had j-omo experience in bur wii life , for she averred that "all New i'ork men wcro loafers , " and could not i' I the bad broker near her cwo lamb. 'ho old lady was very religious and took icr daughter to the auditorium one Sun- lay to hear Dr. Dooms preach , What , vas her indignation when , in the midst > f a hymn , the young broker entured ivith a friend and took up their seats < m ither side of the voting lady , never heed- UK the mother's frown. As the service .irocecdcd she noticed that her daughter ind the two men wore talking a great leal together during the prayers , and : ier indignation knew no bounds ; but she lid not want to make a fuss during the urayor. When tlio services were all over ilie turned to her daughter with a soarl mid said' "You just wait till 1 get you home , urns.1 'But she is not going home , " said the . 'ouiig broker. "Not going home , " gaspeil the mother. "Not to your home , anyway. The lady s mv wife My friend is a minister , unit .luring the sen ices ho has married us. Iiood day " And ho' walked coolly away with Ills iri/o on his arm , leaving a very foolish ild woman behind. Pool Your Snlnrlcs , Wasliingon Letter : Years ago a rule was made that not more than ono person rom a familv should bo employed at ( lie sumo timu in" the departments. A short time ago a. voting lady employed in the treasury called on Secretary 1-airchild in reference to the rule. "Mr. Secretary , " said she , "I'm engaged to a voting gon- . Ionian in one of the other departments , nit we can't marry and live on his salary f I ha\o to resign in order to marry. " 'Bless yon , m\ child , "said the secretary , 'get married if you want to , and pool your salaries. There is no law or ruling under this administration to force you to resign when you marry. " Ilnniunrn lit 'JJiiHtlo Uprdcn. New York LetterYear.s agoDcmonieo Wagani was employed as a domestic in i wealthy family of Venice named Vilmo I'lio daughter of-thu familv was a beau tiful and sprightly girl named Catharina , anil as Demonieo was a mighty good looking young follow , a friendship sin-ang up between them , and then , of course , they fell in Jove. Secret meut- ings were field. Finally Catharina and Dumonico were engaged. Catharina's parents were overtaken by misfortune and greatly reduced in circumstances. This change compelled the dismissal of Demonieo. After consulting his be trothed , the young man do- cithid to como to this country , and manfully started out to maku a home for himself and Cathariua. Ho got work in a bank in the .Now York Slant /eitung building and prospered. A short time airo ho counted up his sav ings and found he had enough money to pay the passage of Catharina and her aged mother to this country. He sent the money , and a few days ago the couple arrived at C-istle ( Jardun on the steamer Cioltando. Demonieo was informed of their arrival and ho hurriedly wenttothe garden. When Superintendent llein/- man brought th'u shy younir follow into the inelosure Cathariua Unshod with joy ful excitement , rushed to him and for several moments they were locked in each other's embrace. The girl coniuli- muiited the young fellow on his line , manly , appearance. After passing through the customary routine the smil- mir couple [ oft tlio garden arm in arm. Their marriage will take place in a few days. A liridn'rt Prcnnnt. To his bride Sir Henry Tichbornc , who was recently married in London , pre sented a diamond and ruby ring , a diamond mend necklace , another necklace in diamonds mends and sapnhires : also a paruro of diamonds and pearls , consisting of a tia ra , a comb , pins for tlio hair , a nrmdant and earrings ; a third necklace containing live rows of pearls with a diamond clasp ; a diamond aigrette , a bracelet in diamonds mends , rubies and sapphires ; a diamond bangle , diamond bracelet , a crescent brooch in diamonds , rubies and sap phires ; another brooch in diamonds , ru bies and sapphires of shamrock pattern ; a diamond and sapphire heart brooch ; a diamond and ruby boo brooch ; a star brooch in sapphires and diamonds ; a diamond mend and moonstone brooch ; an Alex ander ami diamond necklace ; still an other necklace in diamonds , rubies and pcurls , d'uimond shoo buckles ; a lace fan witli tortoise shell * ticks and diamond monogram ; a second pair of diamond earrings , and yet another bracelet in pearls and diamonds with miniature portrait. A iMfiliilclil Mnrriair * . Datton U5a. ) ( ! ay.ctte : Dalton's reputa tion is widespioail for sudden weddings and ( Jretna ( ireon all'air . The last sur prising event is a marriage at tlio Na tional hotel at midnight. Mr. C. H. Hulibard , of Chattanooga , and Aliss Nona Taylor , of Birmingham , Ala , being the persons to enter the connubial state. Miss Taylor _ has been a guest ot the National for some future tune , and on Monday night last Mr. Hubbard ar rived from Chattanooga on the night ex press , < uid proposed the hasty marriage to his fiancee. She readily consented , sea a minister was aroused from his slum- burs , the groom elect repaired to the resi dence of the ordinary and secured his license , and just as the clock struck I'.1 , the last irrevocable words , which bound tlio pair , wcro spoken and early train bore them away on their bridal tour. Gormrn St. James ( Jay-etto1 ( iorman gentle men , as a rule , I find , do not care much for beauty in their wives , unless accom panied bv some enduring qualities that shall lit them to bo helpmeets indeed. The very groati-st caution is displayed by a Teuton in choosing a partner for Hie. Before committing h.msolf too far with r. > otinglady. the guntleman will first ask tlie father s consent to visit at his liousu , thatlio may judge from the young lady's conduct toward her parents , and broth ers. and sisters , and servants , if she will maku him a good wife. Ho must also see that she is capable of cooking , iron- in : : , dressmaking , ami other little ac complishments. Should she como through the ordeal unscathed the pair en- gagu tliomseives by exchanging rings , ami the bride at once begins to maku her wedding trousseau no trilling atlair , as it is incumbent upon her not only to provide her own wardrobe , but all the household dinrn , furnituiu and kitchen utensils Tlio marriage is an occasion for great rejoicings , and extends over su\eral lays , during winch much tobacco i- smoked by the males and much chatter indulged in bv thu females between thu hours of feasting. Stolid thotigU they may be , nil Gorman hutband ? do not ap pear to bo great successes ; vet the wives urn evidently sweet , forbearing creatures , as the following Verses from tlio German will show : Oh , I have a man ns eood as can be , No woman could wish foi a butter than he ; hoinctlniLH , indued , he nilzht chance to do wrom : , But his lo\u for me is uncommonly strong. When sonkcd with ruru ho i hardly polite , But knocks the crockery left and rlsht ; And pulls my lialr , and ro\n iu.iln ; Hut. cxifptlui : Hint , he's the best of men. All I can say is , if the foregoing repre sents the average of ( icrmnn women , they are easily satisfied. What a treas ure such a wife would prove , what an inestimable - estimable boon , to n Lancashiic miner , or to a Yorkshire cotton spinner ? CO.NMJH1AMTIJJS. A ManlMeo , Mich. , ml s Rratefully offered her hand to a dentist who pulled a tooth painlessly. Kitd Strong and Cartlo Wlnslilp of the "I'.mlon's Slavt , " company , were married In lloboken , N. , ) . , last Ktldav. .MNs Susanna Bancroftthe brunette crand- daughter of the historian lus tinned her back upon her coutitiymun and has determined to matry a r'rcnchni.xn M. Lnbac U the name of the lottnuntc youth. An Kcyptlnn 120 jenrsoldhas been dls > covuied at .Mlnleh. He possesses nil Ids faculties nud walks thiuu hours pur day. A native paper ays that ho recently mairied a woman luO years his junloi. As Inducuinnnts' to "any respectable couple" to be married at the larmcis' fair at Litltr. rent ) . , the following lfts are otlered : A rangu and restilnr conklne oulllt , S-A In uoney , a bureau , expenses at the hotel , a icket to Philadelphia. The marriage ot that ceninl democratic bach lor Or. Deal , ( > t Norfolksays the Stale Jour- inl , Indicates tlinthe has the inside trncK tor . 'ulted States marshal. Nothing short ol thu ( resident's order , that all ledcr.il olllcials ihould ict married and also who are about o become fcdc.rat olliclals would htuo itarted him in pursuit ot thu nuptial knot , ho wcddiiu iliiL" and thoaltar. Thu doctor Aunt to Virginia for Ids bride. U Is the midest blow over struck at the oldbachelois' initual protective society ol Nebraska. Sllss Mary Tiieker , the benutlful voiini ; : Iniightei ot cx-Kupresentathe Tucker or Ksscx , Conn. , who eloped with her fathes's colored coachman. Hanohntt , and was mai- rlu.l . bv the minister in bur own town , she impiously having colored bur sUIn to envoi lor Identity , was found Monday deserted and penniless.at a t.irmhoiiso between L > me and Black Hill , on the Shoie Llnu road , llaiichett deported his brldu and took tlio boat for New York. Thu L-iil made her Way on foot to the homo ot her father's house , itnd toll ill with Cover brought on by expos- are and excitement. She will piobably die. Patriarch Nicholas 11. KiUielv , president ot the Ktdcoly National ll.mk ol Sprlncfield , 111. , was horn April 2'.t. isoi ) , and his served as an olllcer In a bank , continuously , since 2S . There appeared last week in the obltuiry columns of the riill.-.delpliia Ledger , notices ot the death ot eleven persons , nil women , who had lived to 01 bejond the advanced ago ol eighty yt ars. A colored blacksmith , who woiks eveiy .lav at his forgo , and who Is 100 yeats old , Is aiesidentof O/nn. Ark. His name Is Per kins. Ho was sold on the block In New Orleans nnd taken to Arkansas In 18 10. Nicholas Leniko , of Pittsburg , says that he was bom In Poland In ITbl , and therefore is 1UO years old. Ho Is almost blind and has hot a tooth in Ids head , but Is as htraiulit us an nrrow and remarkably quick and vigoious. Mrs. Clarissa Sldoner , ol Adamstown , Ky. , made bur own clothes and did her house- woik until site was 110 jeais old. She died recently in herllSth year. All of her teeth , excepting four , were perfectly sound nt the time of death. Thomas vVhlpple , a con tonal Ian , has just lied on the farm which lie cultivated for more tlmn fifty vears near Parksville , Sulli- \an cotii'tv , X. Y. Ho was born nt New London. Conn. . July Ul , 17s7 , being a grand son , on his mother's sld > , of ( funeral Ktlian Allen , of revolutionary lame. Detroit 1ms a veneinule and worthy vatilot , with thn liarlnra t/rletchle spirit , In the per son of Mis. llulheit.ot Third avenue , who Is nearlv ninetv > ears old. Mrs. Hulbeit sent lour sons to thewai , nil ot whom ncqultted themselves with credit , and one laid down his lilt ; on the held ot battle. Captain liobort W. Andicws recently reached naitloid. Conn. , with his do , : Fidn. Thecnptain had just strolled down from Bos ton , llehnd wnlked lO.OUU miles in Iho last tour years. Ho is uinetv-seveii years of age. lit lives In Sunder. S. C. , and left therojn April to walk to Boston. He claims to have seen all the presidents , with the exception of ( inrheld lohn.I. Cioodell , of ( Jreen Island. N. Y. , celebrated his ninetv-thlrdbirthdav Saturday last. He tins lived under all ol the presidents ot the United States. In politics he is a democrat. Ho Is still active. A brother of Mr. ( todell died In the west recently at the ace ot 100 > ears. He has a sister living In .Michigan who is ninety-live yeirs old. Samuel Moirison , of Indianapolis , Ind. . Is said to be thu oldest living native of Indiana. His patents were Pennsylvaninns , who moved to Kentucky after the revolution , in which his father tought cnllantly. going sub sequently to the Hoosier state , where be svns born In I7'.i . lie enjoys good health , and is "a veritable encyclopedia ot Indiana his tory. " A man giving his name as Count Schwatz- ki , ninety joars of aire , arrived In Krie. Pa. , September 15. to enter the soldiers' nnd sail- /irs honiu. He said ho was born in Warsaw , Polandnnd tliat in IM' ) , when ho was twimtv ono years of ase , ho was one of Napoleon's soldiers , nnd wns with that great zcncrnl on his march to Moscow , and endured the sut- ferimr iiicm rod by the devoted army on Its dlsastcrous letroat from that city. II fought nt AustorlltTrieste nud Loill , nnd Ind a clear recollection of the historical events of these stlrtiug times. Ho was banished to America tor political offenses , and wns a volunteer soldier in the late war. UKMGIOUS. The seat of the no\t guueral conference of the Methodist Kpiscop-il church , which will meet In 1V.K ) , will bu at St. Louis. A solemn nnniversni.N mass ot leiiiiiem for the repose of the soul of thu Into Caidmnl McCloskoy will be celebrated iu the New York cathedral on Monday , the lOlh of Octo ber. ber.The The new Kplsuoual church of St. 'f homas , nt Mamaroueck\ou Now York sound. Hies a white ting from its "splio tower. " Its legeni is the oflicial seal ot the parish , with dates in dark blue , and It is the only instance of a church Hag known iu lids coiiutiy. A commission ol the Kionch assembly hns formally approved , by i.irgo majoiity , a les olutlon in favor of disestablishment. The state L'rant now paid to the chinch amounts to S'J.OOO.OOO , exclusive ol 52 000,000 providui tor departments and municipal councils. Bishop Perry write * a friend in Daven port tliat he cabled his declination of the Novft Scotia bishopric immediately on. r - eolpt ol noticit of his election , and tlmt ho never had a thought of abandoning his Iowa diocese. Ho will sail for homo October n. The minutes of the general assembly of the Irish Piosbyterian church foi ISSr , show that 711) ) membeis attended the lust meeting There were & "i congregations , on the roll ol the assembly ami < vr > ministers , Including professors , elc. There nr at present an tin usual number ot licentiates Idly-six. The assembly carries on its work by means ol thirty-six committees and ten boards. The. sixth annual session of the Congrega tloiul association for north Dakota con veued last week nt Fargo. Prof. H. II Woodworth , ot ( irand Forks , was electc ( moderator , and S. II. Stlcknoy , secretar > ' Thn subject of chief Inteiejt b'uforo It wa the Inanimation ot the Congiou'ationnl col lego of north Dakota at Faigo. It Is chlmei thateastein capitalists will give It a llbera endowment. ( J. W. Brown of Yonngstovvn. Pa , , suppllc this leat from Oil City's e\ily : history : "Di you want to know how the lirst church In Oil Citj came to bo built'.1 Well. i'll tell you 1 was around heiu n good deal In the > o gooa old davs , nnd one nfteinoon I met a proud nent citizen on the street witli whom I wa well acquainted. 'See here. ' said ho , 'do yet want to take n coutiact to deliver some In in tier in this town' " 1 told him 1 did If thn terms vvuie s msfnctory , and lie continued ' \ on M < y , three or four of us got drunk las nl ht , and wo concluded that the lowi ought to hate n church. ' I made a contrac to deliver the lumber , " said Mr. Brown"am so Oil Citj's lirst church was built. " Even feitheis aru mitdo In two-tone elfects to niitch tiut changeable or shot ribbons am htiiltsbioiiKht out for areas and mHluifiv purposes. SEVERAL SUNDAY SMILES , A Petition to Mark Twain Snob Things Do Happen Not the Ticket. * WHY THE CROWD WAS SILENT \ Very Kind Ycmtli Slio Know Him Horace Greolej-'fl Humor A Nmle Aw.ikrulni ; < l 1'iopliet for I'tolltLKtlr Hits of run. A Petition lo MnrkTViuln. iVtl'1 JolIIVilif. / . Mntk Twain , In vain You try to wrlto a | > lay ! \ our part In art Was never built tliat way. 'TIs slush slushAnil musli You put upon the boimU ; Kncli art. art.In In fart. Itullt np of fool Mi word ? . O Twain , Itcstrnin Your wild dramatic ju/c. llellcct- . Kxppct No word of ciltiu's praise ; Tor w IUMI IUMIYour Your pen Attempts to inaUu a plut it urns urnsTo Ptins And other stupid rot. incuse My iiuisp ForspenKlngoutso plain : Hut , Maik , I'lease hnrk , Don't write a play again. Such Thl MI ; * Do Phinilulpliii | : News * "How long would you 1)0 willinjr to wait for mev" slui nurinurcd. "You know , George , father ms recently invested in u silver mine , ind he's uoiujj west at onoo. I cannot eave mother alone , do 1 ask you , dear , tow lonn would yon he willing to wait i > r tnov" "Wnil for you , my darl'mi : ? " replied ! ! oorne , with deep emotion. "I will waiter [ or you until we learn how the silver mine pans out. " Not the Tlc'kot. I'liiladelphia North American : "Tick- ots ! " shouted the conductor to n scedy- looidnir man with : i ( iai tintna nose. "Did you address me ? " said the seedy party. "Tickets'1' ' "What kind would yuu like ? I have cm-its tickets , pawn tickets , and " " 1 want your ticket your railroad ticket , " yelled the conductor. "I'm sorry , but I left it at home. If " "Then ' oil'at the you'll ha\o to gel at next station. " "Yes ? Well , I don't mind. [ under stand the next station is unrivalled in l > ioturosueuoss ( | , and I'd just as boon stop there over niirlit as not " A Very 'Kind Youns ; Man. MM. Ivindhcart My dear .son is so charitable that lie is prevented from be- intr with mo as much as he would like , Mrs. Censorious How sad. Where is bo now ? Mrs. Kindhoart. lie has taken : i poor orphan # irl , sailing in Ins yacht , who otherwise would not have a chance to breathe a whin"of fresh air all summer. Contantlv Uomindod of Her. N. V. Sim : He was stroking her hair fondly she had beautiful hair which was not overlooked whjui inscrutable provi dence was painting thinjrs red and tliey were very , \crv happy. The old folks had gbuo to bod. "And during the Imsv hours of the dav ( icorgo. dear , " the sirl wont on , "do thoughts of mo ever come to you' ' Do you think of mo occasionally ivhile im mersed in thu caio.s and responsibilities of your busy business life' ' " "I think of you occasionally , " he re plied , with tender reproach , "Yes , in deed I do love , every time I see a white horse. " Thf ! You n i : Mollp nCKy. There was a young belle of Ky , Who said to her lover , " \es dy , Too long wo have tamed. Wo'lrshortly boiuairicd. ' ' So the youth was iiucoiniuonly ly. S Icnco Fell Upon Them. San Francisco Chronicle : There was about n half a do/en of them and they had been oil' somewhere in the country. They were rill piled on a watron. and as they passed one of the numerous cottages a pretty woman accidontly turned a white handkerchief loose. There were six handkerchiefs waving wildly iu the bree/.e in one instant. "By Jove , she's pretty. I wouaer who she is ? That was meant for me. " "It wasn't ; it was meant for me , " saiil everybody but a little old man sitting on the wacou Hidden from sight. "Woll , " he said , "I'llbet ' it was not meant for mo. " "Why ? " "Because that was my wife. " And a dead silence fell on the picnic. The Small Ooso Dismayed Him , Texas biftings : 'Wife ( to sick prohibi tionist ) Tht1 doctor says , my dear , that you must take whisky to tone up your system. Sick Prohibitionist Well , if 'I must , why of course that settles it , but whisky is an awful cur.io. How much am i to take1' Wife A teaspoonful twice a day. Sick prohibitionist drent heavens ! is that all. Still Upon The Hooka. Another summer night das gone by , Ah me ! Again the swallows hoinownid lly , I see. I've wanrteied by the Mowing tlilii With many men close I > y my side Hut noun nsUed me his little bride To be. l'\e hushed full many a girlish laugh , Te Im ! And yearned for ft better halt ' 1 o be. A do/on mittimus have tn'eu wine , Kadi with Its winter and Itssprlnir , And now I'd marry anything With glee. l'\o wandered with young fellows by The loa ; But w hen ,1 , roll my eyes and slith Tliov lino. I've haunted all the lover's nooks. And looked my most olluctl\e looks , lint I am still upon thu hooks , Ah mo 1 _ llornce Oroelcy's Humor. Mr , Grcoloy's humor was of a peculiar sort , but it was allied to genius. Ono cvoninganassociatoeditorof thoTniliiie | accosted him as he came into his desk with bomo'stich qnostwn as this "Didn't you know , i\lr. ( Jrecley , that you made a dreadful blunder in one of your statistical editorials this morning" " "No ; how was it ? " said Mr. Crecley. "Why , yon said .something about 'lloidsieck ( nut champagne. ' Don't you Know lloidsieck in champagne" ' "Well. " said Mr. Groolcy , quietly ; "I am the only editor of this p'ipei that coiilil make that mistake. " Un another occasion a person who wished to have .1 little fun at the expense of his consistency said , in a group where Mr ( irooloy was standing "Mr. ( iroeloy and 1 , gentlemen , are old friends. Wo have drunk a gro.it deal ol brandy and water together. " "Yes , " paid Mr. ( Jroeloy , "that is true enough. You drank t/n bntnily and 1 drank the water. " Wlint .Middy Menlus Will 1) > . "It is getting too cool ' lo meet cla i'es- tinely on the porch , Agnes. " "And my father forbids you entering ; ho house. "And must our love , then , bo like the loornint or the dormouse.or hatever it I ? , that sleeps all winter ? Will it not die of imcutnomn or catarrh ? Perhaps they may have a love in the horse-cars this winter , and and if they do , though I dare not hope so , wo c'tn ride round in the evening on the belt line , and have an liour and a half of sweet communion , all for ten cents. " She looked into Ills face , her eyes radi ant with love and admiration. "You sire , indeed , " she exclaimed fervently , "onu of that small trati'irurcd band who o mighty gonlus overcomes the most for midable obstacles. Wo will write a pos- tnl card to the horse car company im- | ) loring them to put stoves in their cars this winter , " and they ut once penned it. Whether their appeal will melt the icy licarts of the horse car people will bo known before Christmas time. Slio Knew Him. She sat liesldo me at the play In nil her L'liIMi lovllness , While In thn box across the way A dowager In gorgeous dies Sat , while the diamonds glittered tirliclit , On wrinkled neck and shoulders bare ; "Ah , vvoio those ( joins niy own , " 1 cried , "I'd lind lor them a place moie fair. " "Sweetheart. " I whispered , "need 1 tell Wlieio I wo'dd ' have those coins repose' , " ' Slio faltered not ( she know mo well ) . "U'hy , with yoiir uncle , i supnojel" A lludo Awnkcnilni ; . lie loved her with a passion deep Ol love's liist ardunt tlatuc , And grandly swore his vows ho'd la-op And share with her his name. Alas ! the plans that surest scorn Doolti'ii "gang aclov. " And so this lover's oirly dream Was lightly sweptaway. And in this manner nonchalant Cold Into had lauirhcd Him .scorn ; lle'il seen her In a restaurant , And watched her eating coin. A 1'ronliVt l\ > r Profit. "Uncle Jack , " s.iid a butcher to an old colored whitow.xshor thu other , "yon know weather pretty well , don't you ? " "Yes , sah. " "Wh.it kind of a winter do you think we'll ' have" ' "Well , sah , dat same quoshun war' axed mo yesterday , accompanied by a gilt of 10 cents , an' I predicted a worry mild winter. Howsnmobcr , * as you haven't" ' "llcro'n a dime , I'licle .laciv. " "All ! thanks. It's gwino to be mild , sah worry mild. Yes , ah we'll hev summer all winter , sail. " Slio dimmed Her Mltnl. San i'raneisco Chronicle : A grown-up man , a man ot mature rears , would not have done it. Ho would have nut his arms around her and said gently "Di'iir , 1 don't like your painting and powdering It doesn't makn you look hiee " And slio would have told hint that she thought it did , and if ho didn't like it lie could "jo and get another girl , or some thing Fike that. At the best she wouldn't have- taken any notice of tiio remon strance. But lie was a vonng man , and that was not his way. Ho was going to take her to the theatre , and , knowing her peculiarity , lie put a powder jmlV and a box of rouge in his pocket. When she came down stairs ho saw she was deco rated us usual. Ho immediately pulled out his rouge and powder and pointed himself up. "What are yon doing ? " "Only making myself handsome " " 1 will not go out witli you like that. " "Why not ? " "It death. " would mortify me to "Woll , but you're just like that. " "That's a dill'eront thing. " "Well , I'll make a bargain If you will wash oil'yours , I will wash oil'mine. " "Wo don't go out then. " "All right. " But she thought bettor of it and she ac cepted his bargain. She was very prcttv after that. Slid lloNiilt of Ncjilootod Kdiu-ntlon. Jack Kthcl , I am ashamed of you 1 saw that I'renelunan in the conservatory kissing you repeatedly. \ \ by didn't you tell him to stop' ' Kthol 1 couldn't , Jack Jack You couldn't * Why not ? Kthol 1 eati't speak French. Ho FHC tlie ANVst. AVic I'mtoiminciclal / Ailffrtltcr. Ulalik of all the larmini ; west ; If Idaho I'd KO there. I'd Nebraska better chance It once 1 had a show there , Slio , theiel The Killing Hand. nK man's supremacy , The youth and maiden quarrelled ; "The hand that wluldi the pun , " Hiiil he , "Is the hand that inlns Ua world. " Then quoth the maiden crrmper , While her rod lip she curh'd : "blr , the hand that wii-lds the sllinir ) ; Is the blind that inles the world. " An lOvcoss ol" Archness. Her eyebrow is a lovely arch , aioli is her foot , arcli is her smile. Yet , straiiRo to f.\y , unhappy ho , Thu man who would her lovci he : That siuilot a wllo but to bucuilo ; Arch-temptiess she I Two Pitiful Cnsci. Two bruised and battered patients lay side by side in a hospital ward. "lama b.isoball player , " said one , "who are youv" "I was one of the judges at a baby show , " said the other ; and then the ord erly came and gave each of thorn a hypo dermic injection of morphine. Ch.iniliii ; iho Day. Minister's little boy ( to yt low who has buried four husbands ) 1'a sout me tip to nsk you if it was Wednesday or Thursday that Mr. Smith wanted him to perform the weddin' ceremony He's forgot and didn't like to av so to Mr. Smith1' Widovv Wednesday , little boy. Little Boy Tlr.it s what pa thoughtbut he wasn't sure , 'cause Thursday , bo said , has alway- boon your day for marryiii' . 1.MP1KT1KS. In all tlui hooks In thu bible only one of them Is a specimen of Job piloting. PJIiostou ItiiDilsous impartially preachers and cainblcri wl'0 ' ha\o no license. The hub puts pleaching and preying on the same level. The Kov. Dr. Kultnn wants to know wh.it would have Dccoino of Martin Luther II ho had become a newspaper editor , lie would have been a success , for ho was an expert at taint : the Inkstand at the devil. A little Cass avouuo ( 'lrl came noino from chuich Kieatly troubled over the bottomless pit. Attor awhile she chocred uii , saylni : : " 1 didn't think ot It bcloio , but Ir the bottom tom of the jilt Is o'lt 1 could set out on the othorslilo , couldn't I' . ' ' A dfiKvtnan In Carson , N'ev.recently sent to a local paper a notice ot the &ci vices at his cliuroh , in which thu Riibject of Ids ser mon , "How to ( Jure llooillumlsm , " was Klvcn. It appoaiod In print , however. "How to Cure Rheumatism , " and thu church was pacUed. . Mrs. ( i. , a very charmlnj ; Indy and do- volt'd mother , was much shucKed the other moiling at thu InnocLMiV depravity of her sou , a child ot live yeais. She liiii tauu-ht him to beliu\o In the power ol piaicr. So whun he wishes anything ho adds the wish to his nightly supplication , lie had sot his lio.ut upon the poss , > sion ot a drum , and nftet askin. ( Sou for It each nuht lor a wcok his mother L'ot ono and put it out ot si.'ht. but wheio she could lunch it wlnlo hit was pnilniand iilncu It on the hud so that when Mo laisi'd Ills head bo would sou It. A- > hooudodhis prayer with thu usual "Cod bli'ss inaiuini nnil pnpa , " ho ralsod his O\PS and In the sunn bitMili o\cl limed : Where the dnvll did it ciiniu liom" ' ' Tlinhov who was to pifrsomto thi ) | savior tuu Sumiaeivdl.i ili.i. ; puaKin lil.iy CHAS. C. SPOTSWOOD , 305 South IGtli Street. ' 1 Inivo linriruliis In Vacant I.otf , Homos unit Lots , nud HuMiuns Piopoity , nlwn > on linnO If jou Imve uti > tiling to suit or trade , or wiph to Imy cull oil mo. Spoclnl ultoiithm to tnulo ; to.v , .soi rii MXTi.r.Nm srttr.irr. RILEY & McMAHON , Real Estate and Loan Brokers , 310 South Fifteenth Street. oll.'i lots In Pntiick * nild , fiom IIWO : f4UO cash Poiucileshnlile trnckiinc lots. fi aura Kooil trnckiiKO , clienp. C.ooil linrKiiins In nil pi < rls of the city. Si'\riiilcl > riu > lots In Smith Omulm Nleo actcs In llonliehloliuiip. A line ncro In Wnshlujctoii lllll HILL & YOUM FABNAM ST. FURNITURE Carpets , Stoves , House ( SooiU. Weekly and Monthly Pay- merits , was Eph Harris , a coloied boy , waiter lor Mr. l.nimdou. Ho is a likely looking black bov. almnt twenty- one vears old. "What's voiir name1. " ' was asked. "Kph Hairis. " "Was you to have roiuesentrd the Savior to-night'.1'1 Yes , boss ; 1 was to bu a holy man this nluiit , hut the whlto folk's douo stop us. I had my costume nil fixed. 1 was to wear a white L'ownaud ble gold crown. 1 was to be on the stage and thu \irginsniound me. Hut they done knocked that out lioss , do von think the earthouako will be lieiu in-night' . * ' ' asked Kph. Helm : nseured that there wns no chance of an earthouake. Kph became talka tive , and said : "Thev done knocked out an other act where 1 wns to be do Lord drlvini : Adnm nnd Kve out ot the garden of Kilou. I was to be n good man sine this eaithn.irike iuors. Little points ol metal , Little ( hops ol ink , Make thotr < > ut tiomblo And the people think. A spirit wrapper Is usually made nbout a medium si/e. 1'overtv won't be abolished this genera tion , by ( ieorgu. It takes a clover man to conceal from others what ho doesn't know. A great mnnv people hold theoiios who can't hold their tongiius. Stticily speaUiiisr , a nnn can't dve ids mustache nnd lemnin honest. llns anybody ever alluded to the fact that painting the town red is a enidiunl sin' ' Thorn are lee mnnv "hung iurios"niid not enough hunt : muidcrors in this country. "Alter thn baseball season is over the catchers will bo allowed to go uiimu//.lod , " The mill who does nothing but laugh In his sleeve will .oon bu out nt the elbows. If .Shakespeare were alive to-day ho would probably spiinUlo some salt on Mr. Donuollv. While the lamp holds out to bin n there Is not much danger of the average servant hi 1- Ing it. Whuu a bank boodler sKIps to Panada now it is In oidei to ask : Was It thu lady or the Hirer'.1 Somebody si ) s iho ago ol the coal dealer Is the toiiiia.'u. Some folks think it's thu shortage. Tlicro Is nothing In this world that Is mennor than a liar , unless perhaps , It is another liar. The Smithsonian institution audit to place a traveling minstrel show among lt' < archirologicnl specimens. While tin1 lamps ol a city belnim to a enm- pauv , It seems that many city ollicinls have n lean on the posts of thn lamps. If Itobert ( Jarrett wants to repair Ids shat tered fortunes let him take the place ol Ids sleeping car porters for a tew runs. Some puoplo do not seem to care to maku the neighborhood , iu which the > live , plctir- esiiie. | If they did , they would go away. The little King of Spain is ciililuir ids teeth. Hero's hoping tlmt there Is a wisdom tooth as Mi as a hammer head in the lot. "Walter , " ho said in quite a'lniul lone nt voice , "have von got any ehampagnonii Ico' " ' "Yes. sir. " "Woll , tiring mo n bottle of beoi , " whispered tint jounir man. \ California newsp.ipoi has su ioiided ) , and it- > owner L'ives as a reason that the real estate boom has robbed h m of his entire stall , Including his olhco hoy. Kuille Xoli loeelved SOO.OOO fiom his pen last > car. Thoio is a hog-nlsor in Kan is who got twhu Hint much Irom his IILMI. llo Is bonllng Xola on his own ground. An pxplmngn advances several lentous "why wo will have an early full. " The boat reason npparout at this writing is th.it all the heat ( il lhoc.u was utill/cd last .Inly. Smoking dostiojs the memory , says a sci- mitlst , and the statement finds eonohoratlon in tin' tact that mnnv imojilo who smoke tor- get to buy their own cig.us and tobacco. Next 11 a red wagnuvlth a spriiig8o.it theio is nothing as pretty as a driru-mnior who wears a hat mndn ol a butf.ilo rob > .ind svvln.'R a loug polo with a silvei knob on the end nl ft. Mrs. ll.iyippd iwhcio son ( leorco writes that fle is taUm : iimcliu los * sous. Mi. Hayseed-I'm glad o'that. I'll "el him a-digum' post holes when ho gits homo. A French paper says that llismaick Is financially interested in twelve Inowerlos. What a uolitical string ho could null In this eounliy with that hacking ! -Hud be an al derman inside of six months. Slio Iiiivoil Him Hotter. . On tlio wedding journey : He ( Kontiiuontally ) Darling , do you love mo bettor than your lirst husband ? ' She Certainly , lie's deadl ALTOS TELL Ik TROTH Ahout whoiolo buy BOOTS and SHOES Kor I.ndlos Men nod Children. I > ! " ! ' this aslilo lor fiitoro rofnronto when In- dlos'fjonts1 iindcliildruna' shoes you want to Imy IrAVK thu KlndnnH * to cull nnd Inspect m ; 1 boluoluil stocK , jou'll lluil my pilcus'nio not lil li. I N Indies' nnd eldldrons1 flno shoes I ciury Mww A. Alliiluhl nnd Thog. Klik goods and over ) iuudiiiir iiinku toull. . ' I ADIlia. you out fend mo , or loiivo jour or- 3 * ili'i'H u ht'tliL'i they tlio sinnll or liiitfu. r dl'AltAN'l'r.lC you courteous iitlotnlniiconiKl ilullvuiy , II noedd IIK , Irou of cluuKo. > A VINO i-ti lolly rush lo the mamifaotorprs when 1 Diiy.uotthitf lurifo discouuls , I muu I IlAvINC to my uiisioincrs those discounts , I-MS my inciins of mnUntr linsinesa grow. AIil. I solicit Is n hlmio of your imtrnnnire , nn In Iliii1 hoots A shoos , I hiivo now on liunil X""OT only nil tlio li-nilim : if miles , but the fluent -i- > si } let iii hiiiiiinor nnil lull K < 'Oili that cnsli riiiiroinniHiid C < IVK tlmt c'\i drill hnnd nnd iniirhhio mnku ' soul's Hliou ol II. C. \ uunic Co.ol' lloslon. ntiiid. ( jri'l.lilOlt Noith Htar Hoot nnil hhoo Co , V ' Mlniiniioli4 | , Minn. , I liavo evoiy Kindooti UAVINIi lull-tiK'tlj ono prlco , nnd tlmt thn Iuwo < t , the liooU nnil fhoos you mi ) ot' 010 O N nil oceiisioiis uiu jiiHt us inprL'-tJiitfil , pcr- tvcl In lit , KI ado nnd quit'lly ' EVI'.ltV tlmn > ou iOiilro | t.mllps' , fionts' MIHHOS' nnd Clillds Shoes , or luimlrhig done holh Mollund nriil , SI'.M ) or cull at I'lilllu IMUIT'S Old ftollablo Shor M'no , No 1T-"J rnuiain Hi ret. I vor > ptlrol hoots or sl.uu Mtlil h ) l , < inir li wniiiinti'd lo lit nnd lo l > ns lopio-cntril , or tliu inonoy will lie rul'nndi'd. .Mist liu.tr this In iiinid , nnd KO to li inir , 1 Iji ) rnrniun , lor nny- thliiK noi'ili'ii hi his lino. HIST S10lK IN O.MAHA TO Sii.KCT : 1'UO.M. Mrn'ri llonts . . : $3 f/i .Men's VVurklnif Shoos 10) Moil's rinut'oiiKriSor I.nun Mines . . . UO ) Mi'o'H I'mu Conxion or I.ueu 1'iunuli Cidf , Miulimo Mnkn . . . . 150 Moil' * I'lnuConciCbs-or Inco I'louvh Cnlf , Hnnd Main- . . . . li 00 I.ulios' full ( iont Ililltonliou3 , C , I ) , K widths > 00 , I.IUII04' KM llutlon Shops , C , I ) , i : v > lillli , ' woitli nl'otMioH' ' , i' ! , nt IM J.lltlllV I'li'iirh Kid llutlon Shoos , I ) , I' f H idlh" , woitli cUuu li < jru , f 1. nt . . . . I ( X ) Ml "Ms1 nnd ( lnldic'ii'n cliool Mines wiiilli liom fl to t'J . . . MM ( Imis' hhoi K 111 Kid IK ( teat ' 'iO I nr | i , piii'i-3 ( unit to tin ( lid II' i ililo , Philip Lang , 1320 Farnsm Sf. LESKY ROOFiNO , 1 in or I tin , Repaired. Anil I'linlt ! nnil Kunninirod livid lor nuintor nl JOIIIH. 1'iiiiits ni'Vor hlistoi. GRAVEL 3JOOPI1\TG Maiutacliired und inpiurod. 1'iro IVool 1'iUnl OI'lluU ' to Hlun tics. I'i y ( urn f xiiorloncii , W.M II. Cl.'KllAS A SON. 111 B.lll > t. Hut. Arbor and Vfntua.