MINCLINC W1TB ROYALTY.
An Omnba Bee Oorreiipondent's Visit to
Leamington-A " "
Fashionable "Spa.
INCREDULOUS MR. KNIBBS.
Tlio Average EnKllqlima
Inns The Unrmnltl lllvcr
Avon A Poetic
1'rofcsaor.
LONDON , July 30. [ Special Corres
pondence of the UKE. ] Bidding adieu to
the old city of Chester , and taking n last
look at her antiquated walls , wo took a
horse oar , or as Englishmen call It , a
tram , for the Great Wustarn station , and
bought tickets for Leamington which wo
reached at eight o'clock in the evening.
Leamington is a very fashionable "sna , "
but contains nothing of any particular
Interest to the tourist. Wo went there ,
however , because it was a convenient
center from which to mnko httlo excur
sions to ( lip famous old places In the
neighborhood ) \\o ratjior expected to
find a llttiomioro life and energy in the
general mSWo uu of the pcoulo of Leam-
Ingtpm cspc9 ally since it was a fashion-
ablo-watering , place. But wo were dis
appointed to learn
that Leamington was
Tory lltila 'more modern than Chester.
The summer season had not yet begun ,
visitors had not conio in from London ,
and the people were apparently enjoying
the last few days of their regular winter's
sloop , before the general awakening of
thctsumnicr. One thing was ver.y amus
ing at Leamington and that was the look
of utter amazement with which the
dreamy old natives would gaze at the
electric light apparatus which was just
being put up. Our landlord , who bv the
way came at the melodious call of Kmbbs ,
cave us a long lecture on modern inven
tions , i rom his talk wo gathered that
no had lirst heard of the ciectrio lijrht
within a few days.
The telephone was entirely now to him ,
nnd the low extra shillings wcro proba
bly added to our hill because wo tried to
make him believe there was such a thing.
As an exponent of most brazen incred
ulity ,
ins KNIUBS
would certainly take the palm. But ho
kept a good inn which wo accounted for
by the fact that his bar-maid kept it for
him. And this leads me to speak of that
thoroughly English institution , the bar
maid. To begin with , there are plenty
of ale houses and inns in England , while
the temperance clement ns wo know it
in America , is almost entirely wanting.
The average Englishman , or woman
either , would not think of taking a meal
without his glass of alo. There is no
"olHco" in u country inn , but a bar which
is presided over by a young lady , gener
ally a pretty one , in a white cap and
white apron. She first strikes you as
being neat , sprightly and polite , nnd you
never have occasion to change your
opinion of her. She takes your name ,
gives you a room ana shows you to it ,
orders your luggage sent up , asks what )
you will have for supper , waits upon you
at the table , givtu you the latest paper ,
which is generally a week old. calls you
in the morning , in fact , she is here.thero
and everywhere , and cither does every
thing for your comfort and convenience
or sues that it is done horsolf.
MY VAHIOUS bTOI'S
at English inns have tended to inspire a
most profound respect and sometimes
pity for bar-maids , as a class of individ : [ .
uals who do so much work , do it so
cheerfully and receive so little pay. As a ,
matter of fact the work done by a bar
maid here generally requires two or
three men in an American hotel. The
Crown Inn. where wo stopped , was a ,
charming little place with cool , com
fortable rooms and balconied windows.
The fresh Uowcra which were placed on
our table every day. and a hundred other
little attentions which wo received at the .
hands of Polly , the bar-maid of course ,
made us want to stay at the inn all the
timo. After our first night's rest , howev
er , wo took thn train for Warwick , and
after visiting the castle wo were not all
sorr.v to have left the Crown. Warwick
castle is truly a magnificent place and >
Scott's glowing tribute to its splendour
is no exaggeration. It stands on a state
ly eminence , commanding a iino view of
THE KIVEK AVON , :
and is almost surrounded by a thickly }
wooded park , After paying the entrance
fee of a slullinc at the porter's ledge , wo
walked through a long passage way ap
parently cut into the rock. The foliage
on either side was thick enough to form a
complete arch over the passage way
making it dolicionsly cool. Passing over
the draw bridge and under the cullis wo
found ourselves in a largo grass covered
court surrounded by drives nnd walks ,
and these in turu hemmed in by the
gray turrets and lofty towers of the cas
tle. Following the directions of a guide
wo ascended ono of the highest towers
from which a splendid view was to be
bad of the whole castle , the court , the
moat , the river , tbo park and gardens ,
the town , and the slender spires of coventry -
entry in the distance. The sight was in
spiring. It was our "first castlo" and
the impressions were similar to those of
our "first cathedral" at Chester. The
professor waxed poetic as usual and did
not recover from his reverie until ono of
the numerous rod-coats about the castle
v- took him by the shoulder and walt/.ed
him oil to a gravel walk informing him
that visitors wore expected to "keep off
thojrrawss. ' '
After sitting awhile in the cool shade
of thu west wall , contemplating the
srcno and recalling many of the historic
events which have made the old place so
familiar. Wo were informed that a ,
guido was about to show a party through
the huorloriof the castle and that wo
could join them if wo wished. Wo ac
cordingly entered the mansion house
which is.againsttho wall nearest the
rlxcr. ll was here that wo got our first
idea of the chrValrio splendor nf olden
times. Tho. 'mansion is now occupied by
the Grcvillo family , who , luckily tor us ,
were not at homo at the time of our visit.
It wivs throuati the private apartments of
this family that wo were shown. A careful -
ful description ol the magnificent rooms
nnd the
I'llIOKLESS THF.ASUKES
in them would bo futiguoing both to you
and to mo. The grand banquet hall was
of particular interest , os it had been re
stored to its original appearance. Its
walls wcro embellished with the shining
armor of old knights and with other Ins-
relics. The guiuo hero requested us to
"please keep lion the wito squares of the
lloor , as the bothers 'ad just been varnished , -
nished , " which order was somewhat in
convenient for some of us , since the
squares wore only eighteen inches across.
The drawing rooms , saloons and halls of
the Interior wore all richly decorated
with paintings , mostly by Van Dyke.
The turmturn , too. was rare , the ciiiilo
frequently remarking that "tho top of
this table is of thu richest Florentine mo
saic , and is estimated at so many thousand
pounds. " The royal bedroom attracted
universal attention , as it contained the
fame furniture , tapestryb d and canopy ,
as when occupied by Queen Anne , The
richly Inlaid canopy and spreads ro
Wonderfully well preserved. Thcro was
an admirabl" view from the window of
this chamber down over the ivy buttresses -
' tresses of the castle across the moat and
to the rivor.whlch bubbled over the rocks
in a beautiful 'cascade.V'o \ , were two
' hours in going through the interior , and
lovely 'M ino place was , wo wcro tired
and clad to leave ll. On leaving the
rooms wa saw liveried servants Hitting
busily about , apparently getting things
that < the * * ' * ° ? , W K tr" > court wo saw
English Hag was being hoisted
on the great fowor. "Ayo , and you
wouldn't rccp'ulxo the place to-morrow , "
the porter told us. " ' /s / honor 'as been
celt n' married , don'tcherkiiow. Yes ,
c ; Pl' ' > Urov llo.tho third son of the Hear !
of Warrick's got married an * they're
comm 'omo a Monday to spcn' tho' onoy-
for 10 th ' . t,1V u.Ravo the porter a twoponco
s bit of news. Ho thanked us very
politely nnd called to his wife to "givo
the gentlemen some o' thai , best
'OMKllUEWKIillAl.E , "
1 " 8 th °
Wo had thon'scten thu last of Warwick
castle hut not of Warwick itself , whoso
history would ( ill the pages of a good
sued book. Wo nO.xt visited St. Marv's
church and lliogatesof the city. Agrealcr
portion of St. Mary's was destroyed
by a lire which swept through the city
about two hundred years ago , but the
choir and chapter-house were preserved
furnishing a line specimen of the docor-
pled stylo. Wo paid an extra fee to get
into the Beaucha'mp chapel , which con
tains the tombs of Richard Bcattchamp ,
its founder , and Ihat of Dudley , carl of
Leicester , whom you all remember as
the favorite of Queen Elizabeth. Boau-
champ's tomb is profusely decorated in
carving and gill , and is said lo bo second
to none in the kingdom oxcojJtthat of
Henry VII. in Westminsler. After standIng -
Ing a few moments under the handsome
nave and admiring Us fine proportions ,
wo wont lo see Iho east and west gates of
the city.which arc nothing more than old
stone arches with towers on Hie tops-
hut oh , if those towers could speak , what
volumes they could tell of the Iroublo-
sonic old limes when Iho nods of kings
shaped Iho destiny of nations.
The next two days were given to visits
at Stratford on Avon and Kcnilworth
castle , an account of which I shall give
in my next letter. Fiuyy SKI-EL.
BOOK RISV1KW.
"AKTKK SCHOOL DAYS"
is a now and interesting book issued by
D. Lothrop company of Boslon , from Iho
pen of Christina Goodwin. This book
has none of the feverish elements which
characterize most works of fiction nowa
days , but ianatural-bright and health
ful. It is a story for girls , and its openIng -
Ing pages are descriptive of life at a
country boarding school. In the first
chaplcr the principal characters of the
story are introduced in a group at the
close of Ihe school term , and their con
versation gives a oluo lo their different
characters and aspirations. Later chap
ters develop their different courses of
life ns shaped by circumstances and in-
olination. It is not as a story alone Ihat
"After School Days" is charming. Thnro
is strong moral liber in it , and tiioro are
scattered through its pages apt sugges
tions as to Iho vilal things of life which
sannol but set readers lo thinking. And
they are .introduced so deftly and un-
3onsciously lhal they have no effect of
jcinu forced. The key to the book may
3e found in these half-dozen lines from
mo of the chaplors : "If life has taught
no anything it is this , to value the
present , lo enjoy to the ulmost its pleas-
ires , to ostimalo al Iho highest Us oppor-
unitics , to praise the Lord for its blcss-
ngs without looking for ward with anxiety
r backward with regret. "
IAHATOGA cini's AND CAHLSBAD WAFERS.
Funk & Wagnalls.Now York , have just
ssued "Saratoga Chips and Carlsbad
Vafcrs , " by Nalhan Shoppard. This
miquo book is a qnaintcrispand humor-
ius description of the pursuit of luippi-
loss and health at the two great mineral
valor rosorls of America and Europe. It
s piclured from real life. The sketch is
raphic and rualislic to the first degree ,
'hero is a strange mixture of wit , phil-
isopbynnU instiuotiouiii UH pmu. ( . it is
s breezy as the pine-laden atmosphere
if our famed Saratoga ? The man , or the
iroman , in pursuit of health , rcsl , recrca-
ion. can do no wiser thing than to got
nd road this little book.
. *
THE UOOK OF LIFE.
A very interesting work is that jssu d
the Health and Homo of Chicago.
. .ior the litle of "Tho Book of Life.1
L'his is from the pen of Dr. Sivartha.and
hews Ihorough research on Iho part of
ts author. From the origin of the worlds
ho author leads the reader into the deep-
ist of thought , and on subjects pertinent
o men and things , and into the destiny
f nations. To the author it is indeed a
ireditable effort , the illustrations also
aeing clear and interesting , but Ihe pub-
isher may have , with profit , made a do-
idod improvement in the arrangement
f subjects.
*
* .
THE HEPOUTKR 8 OUIDE.
Every advanced short-baud reporter is
constantly looking for what ho calls ex
pedients in phonography , or Ihe lalest
unproved methods and word-signs for
phrasing , designed lo aid in a greater
rale of speed , and a greater degree of
nccuracy. Any pnblicalion which tends
to Ihis end is anxiously looked for. Wo
have made a careful review of "Tho Ke-
portor's Guido , " designed for students
in any slyle of phonography , and find it
an invaluable work to any short-hand
writer. Ellas Longloy is the author , Cin
cinnati , O. , or Los Angeles , Cal. , imce
fj by mail. 250 pages , just published.
IltKI.ANl ) SINCE THKUNION 1800-1880 ,
is an interesting book , from Ihu pen of
Justin Iluntloy McCarthy , published by
Bolfovd , Clarke & Co. , of Chicago. It is
a history of Iho various movements of
the Irish people for legislative indepen
dence and liberty from the period of the
penal laws lo homo rule. The defense of
Limerick by Patrick Sursliold , earl of
Lucau , unathe violaled Irealy , forms Iho
opening chaplor. followed by a skclch of
Iho volunteer movement in 'l)8the ) union ,
Daniel O'Connoll's slrugglo for Calholio
emancipation and his aborlivo efforts for
repealfonlanlsm and other futile attempts
to wring from England the substance of
nationality. Mr. McCarthy is too well
known to this neneralion of readers to
need an introduction , neither does his
work require commendation. Although
an active participant in the latest move
ment for Irish independence , his work is
free from partisan bias , and deals with
facts and conditions as they were and
aro. The book is dedicated to "Right
Honorable William E. Gladstone , " as a
"brief record of a wrong he has done so
much to right and an enmity ho has
reconciled. ,
General Miles' Sword.
New York Tribune : The $1,000 sword
which the people of Arizona will soon
present to General Miles will not bo orna
mented with gems , save a splendid ame
thyst at the end of the handle. The scab
bard will bo of solid gold. One side will
bo left for Iho prvsenlalion inscriptions ,
etc. The other side will bo engraved
with the following ace'ncs : First , the
agency of San Carlos on thu reservation ,
the Indians appearing in natural camp
life : second scene , companies of cavalry
and Infantry in pursuit of Indians ; third ,
the light ; fourth , Ihe caplure and the
Indians marched to Bowie Stalion , whore
u train of cars stands wailing for Iheir
reception ; and last , Geronimo's head ,
with hat on. forming the foot of the
scabbard. The blade is of Damascus
steel , on which will bo engraved the
name of General Nelson A. Miles , with
scroll work. The handle or handgrip
will bo of white shark's skin braided in
gold. The guard will bo of gold and be
emblematic of both cavalry and Infantry.
At the extreme end of the guard , engraved -
graved in gold , will be the head of
Natchez , the son of Cochisc.
Poz/.om s. Complexion Powder pro
duci's. n soft and beautiful skin. It com
bines every element of beauty and purity.
Sold by druggists.
MATRIMONIAL HAPPINESS ,
Borne Who Have Bought It In Vain-Others
With Success ,
COST OF A WEDDING OUTFIT.
Marrying the Same Man Twice Bob
Ingersotrii Wedding A Marrying
Market Where the Good
Wife Is Found.
What la Love ?
Otorve Arnohl.
Darling , I'm lonely when thou art not near
me ,
Lonely , with even the denrest beside ;
Voices whoso tones used to gladden nnd
cheer mo
ii .cln.f ° llaTe al1 thclr ° Il ni Rlc denied.
But In thy presence each dear ono Is dearer ,
Music Is sweeter and starlight clearer.
Friendship and truth appear truer , slncorer ,
Oh I surely 'tis this that they tell us is
love.
Absent , thine Imago lloats ever before mo
Present , 1 only can feel that thou art
in the vanue sense of dcllxht that steals o'er
'WIldorlnK my brain and thrilling my
There Is no one so lovely where brautv as-
semoles.
Them Is nothlne ray dreamlne about thee ro-
scmblus
bavo soiiia bright star In the far sky that
trembles
Oh I surely 'tis this that they tell us is
love.
_
What n Mait'H Weditlne Outnt Cost * .
From the Haberdasher : There was ft
time whun a trousseau was exclusively a
woman privilege. In those days the ap
parel of groom was not considered at
till , or if considered , wits held to bo of
no consequence whatever. "Times have
chanced , untt we have changed with
them , " as some old Latin duller or other
has remarked , and with these channitif
times the groom has grown to bo of as
much importance us the bridegroom iu
the matter of dress.
There arc still , perhaps , some obscure
nooks where a now necktie , three pair of
socks , " a clear collar nnd one-third of
a dozen of now shirts are amply suf
ficient to start upon married life , but
such is not the case In New York. Now
adays , no less expense Is incurred on be
half of the groom , but it falls upon him
self , and he , too , must pay a part of the
expenseof a fashionable weddinjr. ns
follows :
0 suits silk underwear at $40 . x wo
4 dozen pairs silk hoscatSGO . 4o
3 dress shirts at S10 . 120
2 do/en plain shirts at SCO . ii > o
2 dozen collars at 4 . 8
U dozen culls at 85 . ia
" "
1 white silk vest . . . ! 25
a white pique vesta at Sia . ye
Neckwear ( &ay ) . 25
dozen Hnj-n nandfcerchlefsatStS. . . . M
CsllkhandkeichlefsatSS . is
1 pair suspenders atSlO . ' in
3 pair suspenders at 3 . 9
1 dress suit . 05
" ' ' "
1 business suit . . . . . M
1 afternoon suit . . . 100
Idrivinssuit . " . . . . 100
1 ovcicoat . pa
1 toocoat . oo
Hats. &c . ; go
blines , & . fft
°
4 silk nielli shirts at S25 . | 100
1 bath robe . 20
4 Pa jama suits rttSIS . 73
Smoking jacket and cap . 45
bilk dreeing suit . so
3 muniers at 310 .
1 Inside vest of silk . 25
1 leather shirt ease , silver mounted. . . . SO
1 leather handkeichlef cnso . 20
1 traveling rube . 35
1 waterproof coat . HO
' ' ' ' ' ' '
1 English hold-all . . . . . . . . 15
1 cane and 1 umbrella , gold mounted. . 50
1 dozen s loves . . . . so
Jewelry . 150
Total . . . . . . § 2,345
Of course there are many things besides -
sides these that an exacting taste would
tlcmaud , but this is a fair estimate of
what a gilded youth of Gotham would
think the proper thing for a bridal out-
lit. The cost of little trifles like these
has no terrors , but there is ono item
whose cost we have omitted that fre
quently proves n paralyzor. This is a
wife.
"Aw , no , old chappie , I'm not a marry
ing man. The women are so dtiosid ex
travagant. don't yo knowt"
And it is because the women "arc so
doosid extravagant" that marrying is
somewhat sparingly practiced nowa
days.
Marrying the Same Man Twice.
Utica Observer : About fifteen years
ago , on board a dancing barge , when a
big Tammany excursion was holding
high carnival , Morris Curran had drank
more firewater than was good for him.
He got to fooling with some young girls
from one of the upper wards of $ ow
York.
"I want a nice little wife , " said he ;
"which one of you will nave mo ? "
A mischicvious little miss , whose father
was on board , anchored at the bar , spoke
up that she wanted to take out her free
dom papers , and know of no better way
to escape her parents than to get a hus
band.
"No time like the present , " said Cur-
ran. "Hero's a man who will marry us ; "
and he called to a fellow who was pass
ing. After a little more badinage the
Tammany man bade the proposing part
ners take hold of hands. Ho wont over
a form and pronounced thorn man and
wife. Justthon the girl's father came
up , and there was a discovery. Curran
and little Delia were married , sure
enough , for it was Justice Ledwith from
Jefferson Market wno had performed the
ceremony. A scrimmage ensued , in
which broken heads and torn clothes
wcro conspicuous. The father hurried
homo wiih his child , and early next
morning sought the oftice of Charley
Spencer , the criminal lawyer. A divorce
was obtained , and ton years ago the girl
was married to another man.
lint the passage of time brought
many chances. Delia , the bride
of the barge , lost her husband
she had married in 1877 , and in
1877 a widow with two little children
and a sick father found the world by no
means a Tammany picnic. She worked
away with a stout heart , however , and
kept a tidy homo for her helpless family
at the top of a now Hat house on the
cast side. Ono day she got to thinging
now nice it would bo ifsho could get
the earn or such n house. A thousand
little janitorial duties the old father
could perform , and she would hire a stout
servant tor the hard work. She wrote to
the agent of the house stating her cir
cumstances and wishes , and signed her
whole name , Delia Coo Driscoll. Next
day a portly old fellow with a Santa
Claus expression of face and figure ,
climbed to her sky parlor. The pretty
little widow colored with expectation as
he told her that he was the owner of the
building.
"You are a widow , Mrs. Driscoll ! " he
said ,
"I lost my husband years ago. "
"Was he your first husband ? "
"Why. ycs-certalnly that is " the
little widow stopped aa the recollection
of her child-life trouble came across her.
"You may have heard it was in the
papers at the time , and a great sorrow to
us all , I was married for fun , not know
ing I was being married when 1 was only
sixteen , to a Air. Curran. "
"I am that Mr. Curran , " said the gen-
Ueman , and the widow nearly fainted.
The courtship was short and now Mr.
and Mrs. Curran are spending their
honeymoon at the branch.
A Marrying Market for 100 Ulrltf.
Now Orleans Picayune : The Pandandle
of Toxai U a body -of territory running
up at the extreme northwest corner of
the state between the Indian territory I
NowMcxlc * . UU now filling up I
with people , and In Crjby county , where
the largest gathering f population is ,
there is a town whi < has taken the
name tof Pnndnndlo. Somebody has
started a newspaper trc.tind in n recent -
cent issue of It appeatl the follbwing :
"Wanted ImmediatcilOO single young
women who arc prcpfcd to rough it
for a time to come to U Panhandle and
marry onr thrifty yeti > men who have
located on 610 acres otind nnd are now
living in dugouts , tentnnd cabins. Wo
can speak a good wordpr every ono of
the boys ; they are allioblo American
citizens except onn , an < io is a little un
fortunate in being the i of an English
lord. Girls , this Is a gw chance. Be
sides this , married life Mil beat single
blessedness every time. In a few months
time the dugouts will bduniedfllnto col
lars and comfortable hcfccs erected when
the railroads bring in Inner. " There is
no place llko a now ooUry for the fair
snx. There every youg woman is a
belle and every good wman is little less
than an angel. The rogh men of the
frontier know how to pprcoialo the in
trinsic excellence of to sex.
Bob IneersollVfVoddlne.
Buffalo Times : A pcsion examiner in
Illinois was required tnake the deposi
tion of an applicant fo ) a pension who
seemed very positive aout the date on
which ho contracted a wore cold , which
resulted m a chronic dUeulty , for which
ho claimed the bounty of the govern
ment. His positivents as to the date
lea to the inquery how t was that ho
could swear to an indent which was
comparatively trivial Mien it occurred.
Ho said :
"i know that the colt' was contracted
on the 2lst of Februar , 18(53 ( , because
Hob Ingersoll was marled on the follow
ing day. How do I omo to remember
that so well ? Why , Ho was the colonel
of our regiment. I ws on guard duty
near Pcoria on the mglt of the 31st. It
was as cold as lever fet it.and as I stood
at my post Bob came aong and after sa
luting him 1 said , 'Bon.if you can't give
moan overcoat , a botto of whisky , or
relieve mo from this dtty I will free/.o to
doitl.1 ! Ho replied. 'I'll do all ll.roo. "
> \ ith that ho took ofl'life overcoat , which
had been made as a part of his wedding
outfit , and handed it to mo. Then from
his inside pocket ho hosted out a llaskof
prime old red-cyo and shucked that over.
too , After that ho loft mo and returned
tohis quarters , and I'll bo blamed if ho
didn't issue orders for the relief of the
entire guard , as ho said It was too cussed
cold for guard duty that night. You * co
that event impressed ditos on my mem
ory , and 1 am not likplf to soon forget
Colonel 13ob's wedding , "
To Bo WcddciA Happily.
Baltimore American i Hapuiness and
selhshuess can never llourish in
the same stem ; one kills the
other. To be wedded Tiappilv the pro-
moter.i are congeniality and" unselfish
ness. A good woman will endure much
for her nusband , the man for his wife.
A true woman will smile , cheer and help
her husband should clouds come. Then
is the time to test her character , solve the
problnm , the object of her matrimony.
Men look for women with n heart , a soiil ;
do not let their facial beauty be their sole
attraction : rather lot it bo their beauty of
K6ul and character that insoires youriovo
for them. For with these tho're is no
autumn ; no fading ; theluavcs ! will bo
fresh and beautiful forever.
< Where the Good WHo Is Found.
New Orleans Picayune : Lifo is short
and women are many. Most men have
not time for moro than a superficial ex
amination of uaoh of their fair friends ,
and to her who crowds her best goods
into the showcase is awarded the highest
pri/.o. Hebrew Standard. This is very
iiueer advice. It is not necessary to ro
sampling the world and > > vwi"nim'go to
S " " 'A WjmtSjajr/lPvVn 6od mother for
tier daughter. Ho will uotgo fur wrong.
1'he goods in the showcase arc made to
sell and may not bo of the best quality.
Tidlea as Creators Ot Squabbles.
Bab , in New Yorlc.Stm : Why doesn't
congress abolish tidies ? Thev have been
the cause of more matrimonial squabbles ,
of more waste of time and a greater
amount of folly than * any oilier small
vice , and once done and -possessed there
is absolutely nothing gained.
Don't Go to u Ue ort for a Wife.
Savannah News : Peqiple who do not
visit the resorts arc pertjaps happier than
those who do. They arc'heither seeking
fortunes nor i * 4ioy avoiding those who
arc. In the matter of marriage it is al
ways better to choose life partners at
home , for thcro is then mnch less danger
of making a mistake thot , may cause life
long unhappincss.
Why Ilon't They Prosper ?
San Francisco Report ! The proper re
frain just now is : "Why don't the men
prosper ? " It is sung in every city in the
union with most pathetic intonation. It
is a fact , however , that the dearth of mar
riages can bo counted against women as
well as man. A love of Indcpcndencejhas
done moro to injure the marriage market
than lack ot gold on either side. What
man wants to tie himself to a girl who
frankly says she will take care of herself ,
and hesitates not to do so , whether It be
agreeblo or otherwise to him ? And what
girl hungers to mate with a man who
gorges himself on cigarettes and runs
with the boys night after night ? Such
unions increase responsibilities , nnd nor-
sens fitted to care for only themselves
are not equal to the burden. It is per
haps , as well that comparatively few
venture into the nuptial not , while the
odds for happiness and contentment arose
so much against them.
Parnnll'ft Power a Mystery.
New York Times : Mr. Parnell , almost
alone of the eight notable men who stand
in the first rank of thu Irish parliamentary
party , can scarcely bo'said to explain his
greatness to the observer , either by his
speech or his appearance. His person
ality and his power alike remain a
mystery to those who see him most
closely. There is nothing specially
impressive about his fane. It is delicate
without being cither nervous or hand-
som , and there is no sign of great
strength or depth in its bright
eyes , its thin nose , or its small
mouth. His voice is ingli-
pitched and rather tcminme in its
Intonation , with no suggestion of mag
netism in tibro. Ho seems to havcjno
faculty for remembering names or faces.
Ho has no particular friendship outside
of it. He is aft'ablo to people introduced
to him , and rarely gives them the impres
sion that he is reticent. It has passed
into a proverb that he is reticent , and 1
dare say it may bo the case , but he has
a score of times talked with apparently
the utmost freedom on every subject that
came up , no matter bow delicate it was.
Ho is at least outwardly a cold man , not
given to show interest lathings and this
has bred the notion , doubtless , that ho is
secretive. The deference which is paid
to him by his followers has no close par
allel anywhere within my knowledge
Perhaps the nearest political approach to
it was to bo found in New-York State 10
years ago , iu the attitude of the Stalwarl
henchmen toward Koscoe Conkllng , but
the points of difference are many. Conk
ling was a dramatic and imperious , am
Parnell is neither ; the Stalwarts followec
the Senator iu part from personal liking
in part from personal fear , while the
Irish members have little deep persona
feeling toward their chief ouo way or the
other.
_
Imperfect digestion and assimilation
produce disordered conditions of the sys
tern which grow and are confirmed by
ncgieet. Df. J. 11. McLean 'a Strengthen
ing Cordial and Blood Puriliorby Ha
tonic properties cures indigestion atu
gives tone to the stotpacu. ' .
SOME MIDSUMMER SMILES ,
A Young Man Who Was Equal to a Trying
Occasion.
THE ARMY MULE'S ' SAD LOT.
English ai She ls\Vrole-Tho Subject
Was ChniiKcd Two Model
Ilualnos Letters lilts
of Fun.
English aa She Is Wroto.
If. C. Dxiac.
The teacher a lesson ho tauctit ,
The preacher a sorinon ho praucht :
Tliostealor , ho stole :
The Healer , liohulo ;
And the screoclier , ho awfully scriuiRht.
The ' long winded speaker , hospoko :
'Ihe poor ollice-seekor , ho soko :
The runner , ha ran ;
The diinner , ho dan ;
And the shiekor , he horribly shroke.
The flyer , to Canada How ;
Tlio buyer , on credit ho bow ;
The door , ho did ;
Thesuer , hosld ;
And the llnr , ( a tlslierman ) lew.
The writer , this nonsense wrote :
The lighter , ( an editor ) fete ;
The swimmer , ho svrixm ;
The skimmer , ho skam :
And the biter was hungry nnd boto.
The Subject tt'na ChnnRCd.
"My dear , " said ho to his lady lovo.
Tve boon busy all day ; not manual
abor , you know , bul brain work ,
which is Ihc hardest kind , "
"Yes , indeed ; 1 know il must bo for
you , " and there was a look of lender
ivmpalliy in her eyes which aroused him.
faho was quilo in eernest. Ho changed
the subject.
The Armjr.'niulo lit Ttmo of Peace.
< | J" . II * . linrucfs.
That men -ungrateful can plainly bo
scon
n the case of the nuilo standing out on the
preen.
His features are careworn ; bowed down Is
his head :
Us spirit is broken ; his hopes have all Hod.
lie thinks of the time whan tlie battle raircd
sore ,
Wlien ho mingled his bray with the cannon's
loud roar ;
When Uncle Sam's soldiers watched for him
tn come
llatillni' stores of provisions , and powder ,
and ruin ;
When his comlnn was greeted with cheers
and linz/.as
And the victory turned on the side of the
stars.
These thoughts put now Ufa In rickety
bo nes
lie prances Just once , then falls over and
groans.
A vision pomes over his poor , mulish mind.
And ! IQ sees Uncle Sam , with his agents behind -
hind ,
Urantlni ; pensions by thousands to all who
apply ,
; rom the private so low to the ollicer high ;
lo the iich and the poor , the wise man aud
fool ,
But alas there Is uono for the "poor army
"
mule.
What Mo Gives Us.
When Lo. the brave , in daubs of paint ,
Most gilmly doth appear ,
lie may be said to give us then
A little Slonx-vencer.
ThuuRhl Ho Had Him.
Pat made a bet of a dollar with Mlko that
10 could curry a hod full of bricks up three
adders to the top of a buiUllni * , with Mlko
blttliiK on tlie lioil. - - " °
The ladders " "r01'.f ftt mall ° a
?
were A" :
bmldlnir r\ . * ii" nlmselt In time to save
nJnu-inTitni ; forty feet to the stone .sidewalk.
Airlvlntrat tl ) top. 1'nt said : "Begorra ,
'vo wan the dollure. "
"Yls- replied Mike , "but when yo
( dipped I thought I had yo. "
The New Mother Hubbard.
There went to the cupboard
A ladv named llupboard
To look for a bone ;
lint when she found none
It saddened her so that she blubboard.
Ue Would Klsk ir.
A boy had a very hard biscuit ,
lln often throw U at hlscult ,
Said I : "My dear Ooy ,
You'll kill kit with thai toy. "
Bui Iho youngster said ho would rlscult.
A Uoni Hallor.
Ho was an amateur yachtman , and ho
ooked around the store in a timid way
> cforu ho hesitatingly asked :
"Got any tacks ? "
"Yes , sir , plenty of "cm. How many
wipers ? "
"I guess I'll take a paper of starboard
and a paper of port. I'm going a-sailing ,
md I want , to bo provided with both
kinds. "
ThoDude'H
1 wish 1 were a Hottentot ,
Without a tailor's bill ,
And not a golden-headed dude
Who has to dross to kill.
My coHtume but an ostrich tall ,
And rings In ears and nose ,
1 would not ewe as much as now
For doluir up my clothes.
That I was born In Africa
Sweet Nature 1 would bless ,
for every day without expense
I'd wear complete lull dress.
And I'd he frco as Adam was
In early days from cullu ,
And on Sundays wenr a lit ; leaf
In addition to a smile.
Her IIUHtlo was Off.
Elmira Gazette : ' 'Oh , it was perfectly
awful , " said ouo young woman to an
other in a street car which had stopped
on the Lake street switch the other day ;
"I was lying in the hammock , " she wont
on , and , if I do say it , you know 1 look
pretty nice in that and ho was sitting in
a porch chair beside mo. It was a lovely
ovonlng.for there wasn't a sign of a
moon , and oven the street lamp on the
corner was not lighted. Wo were having
a delightful time , and ho grow moro and
moro affectionate. Oh , it was delightful.
Ho hold ono of my hands and kept the
hammock gently swaying back and forth.
Finally ho loaned loward me , his face
almost to mlno , and I know ho was just
about to say something awfully nlco when
what do you thmk Iho hammock
siring broKe ! 1 had lakon off my bustle
so I could recline comfortably in the
ham mock , and , saytho way 1 struck that
porch " But jut then the car sped on.
Texas UroatnosH.
Minneapolis Journal : A Texas man
came u to Lake Minnctonka Iho other
day and was lalklug with an acquaint
ance about onu of his friends.
"Most talented man in the stale , " ex
claimed Iho Texan , enthusiastically.
"Groat man , ehV"
' 'Well , I should say ho was. Never
mot his equal. His abilities ought to
make him the greatest man in Ameri
ca. "
"What is he lawyer ? "
"No , sir. "
"Lltciary man ? "
"I should cay not. "
Politician * "
"Not much. "
"What direction docs this greatness
tane'then "
* *
"Why , man , ho can take a pair of
deuces and beat anything under four
jacks , drink four quarts of whisky at i
silting and plug a penny every shol a
our paces. Ho a the ablest man in tin
fouth to-day. "
Mttlo lllta of Fun.
"Man proposes , " read the old maid
contemptuously , and then she added
"That's as much as they know about it
My experience , has btserUhat niaii doeau *
proposo. " .
Kcotiomists declare that a dollar gee
further now than it used. That ; perhaps 9
HOWE & KERR ,
FURNITURE
1510 DOUGLAS STREET ,
( Opposite Falconer's. )
BEAU IN MIND WE ARK SELLING
Furniture , Carpets , Stoves and Household'Goods
Of every Description , on Creditat - Cash Prices.
PEOPLES' INSTALLMENT HOUSE
613 N. 16th St. , Between California and Webster ,
ROSENTHAL & CO. , Proprietors.
- RILEY & McMAHON ,
Real Estate and Loan Brokers ,
310 South Fifteenth. Street.
0116 lots In Patrick * mid , from II ,000 : 1400 cnih Homo desirable trncknifO lots.
Nice acre * In IJonflcUl ohonp. A flno acre tn Washington Hill
HILL & YOUNG ,
1211 and 1213
FARNAM ST.
FURNITURE
Carpets , Stoves ,
HOUSO Vnrsiil'
Weekly and Monthly Pay
ments ,
is the reason that it is such a long time
getting around to some of us.
An exchange wants to know "what
product has the greatest acreage ? " Cornl
And on the foot it is the greatest cause of
acher rago.
Spencer tolls us the only alcop and
laughter rests the brain. Hut Spencer is
'way oft' . Wo know a man who was
kicked shamefully by a mule whose brain
is resting as quietly as a man who doesn't
advertise.
There is a man in Now York who has
cleared if 1,000,000 during the past year
from the sale of pics. Nearly all the doc
tors take off their hats to him on the
street.
Position * That Affect Bleep.
According Dr. Gfanvillo the posi
tion affects sleep.
A constrained position generally prevents -
vents repose , while a comfortable one
woos sleep.
He says :
Lying tlat on the back with the limbs
relaxed , would seem to secure the great
est amount of rest for the muscular sys
tem.
tem.This is the position assumed in the most
exhausting diseases , and it is generally
hailed as a token of revival when the pa
tient voluntarily turns on the Bide ; but
there are several disadvantages in the
supine posture which impair and em
barrass sleep.
Thus , in weakly states of the heart and
blood vessels , and certain morbid condi
tions of the brain , "the blood seems to
grayitato to the back of the head and
to produce troublesome droains.
In persons who habitually , m thclr ga
or work , stoop , thcro is probably some
distress consequent on straightening the
spine.
Those who have contracted chosta , es
pecially persons who have had pleurisy
and retain adhesions of the * lungs , do not
sleep well on the back.
Nearly all who are inclined to snore dose
so in that position , because the soft palate -
ate and uvula hand on the tongue , and
that organ falls hack so as to close the
ton of the windpipe.
It is better , therefore , to lio.pn the side ,
and in the absence of special diseases
rendering it desirable to lie on the weak
side , so as to leave the healthy lung frco
to expand , it is well to use thu right side ,
because when the body is thus placed the
food gravitates more easily out of the
stomach into the intestines , nnd the
weight of the stomach does not com
press the upper portion of the intestines.
A glancu at any plain of the visceral
anatomy will show how this must bo.
Many persons are deaf in one oar and
prefer to lie on n-particular side ; but , if
possible , the right side should bo chosen.
Again , sleeping with the arms thrown
over the head is to bo deprecated : but
this position is often assumed during
sleep , because circulation is then free in
the extremities , and the head and neck
and muscles of the chest are ilruwn up
and lixed by tno shoulders , and thus the
expansion of the thorax is easy.
The chief objection to these positions
<
are that they create a tendency to cramp
and cold in the arms , and some times
seem to cause headaches during tleep and
dreams.
These small matters often make or mar
comfort in sleeping.
IVhorn Monkeys Get Their Costume * .
Now York News ; I have always had a
curiosity to discover whore the oriran
grinders' monkeys get their outlils , 1'ho
other day my craving was gratified. In
a Hroom street basement 1 discovered a
pretty girl trimming a monkey's coat
The hats and caps which complete the
costume of the melodious ape were only
present to the extent of a boxful. Tlioro
is not a vorv heavy demand for those cos
tumos. says the pretty girl.aud their
manufacture is only part of that of cheap
dolls' clothing , ami queer nig rabbits
cloth cats , and other articles of vnrti
is I BOas \ \ \ nrosold by street venders. Voi
, 1 cau dresj a monkey decently for half ;
dollar and provide him with a uniform
ut to order , warranted to fit and splcu-
id enough for an opera botiflb field mar-
hal , for $1.50 , cash down. The credit
ystem , without which dudedom would
bo in a bad way , docs not prevail at this
lass of monkeys' tailors.
DR. POWELL REEVES ,
314 South 13th St. , Omaha , Neb.
PRIVATE DISPENSARY.
Established for the Scientific and Speedy
Cure of Chronic. Nervous and Special
Thu Old llollnbb Specialist of many years ex
perience , treat * with wonderful IUCCOKH all
LUNd. THItOAT , CANCEH , 1'IJ.ES , KI8TO *
LA. IlblTUHE , cured without KN1FK Oil
TrenU all forme of Throat Lung : , Nerre and
I Hood diseases , all Chronic diseases und I > o-
( ormltlPH far In advance of any Institution In
: hls country. These who contemplate KOln > to
Hot Springs for the treatment of any Privateer
or Illood disease cun be cured for onu-tlnnl the
cost at our Private Dispensary , 314 Boutb J3th
street , Oinnlia , Nob.
HUl'TUUH cured without pain or lilndoranoo
rom business.
I miCC Hy this treatment a pure Lovely
LMUIbv Complexion , free from elownog * .
trccklcB , blarkheads , eruption ? , etc , , llrllllani
Kycs nnd perlcct henlth cun bo hud.
ftr Thut "tired" feellntc and ulifoinnlo weak-
IIOHBCB piomptly cured. lUontlnif lluaduchetf ,
Nervous 1'rostrntlon , Uononit Drmllty , Sleep
lessness , Depression und lnillife tlop , fviirlon
trouliloK , Intlnmmatlon and Ulcorii\nFallliitr |
and DlnplacoincntN , Splnnl weoknvia , Kidney
coninlulnts anj ChunKe of Llf < y- ' Consult U
old Doctor. ' iVvf
EVE AUn C ID Aauto6r0ivroiilolnllam
bib MnU CHlliinatlonor. rnu.Kyelldsor
Uloboniul lar or Near BlKhtpdnivM inverHloa
of the Lids. ScrofuldUd H > 09. l.W//AUons , Ja-
llrtniiniitloiie , Almc-oss , Dmincii otWyilonof one
or lioth eyes , und TuinorH of l.lif , ' ' '
fW Innummatlon of the Bar , ( Jkorntlon or
Catarrh , Internal or External Doufnosn , or
1'nralyBlSi blngliiK ° r UourliiK nolsrg , Tulckeuod
Drum. eto.
yCllUnilC Debility , Bpormatorrhoj , Bum-
nCHlUUd Inal Loaiei , Nlyht EmUelonH ,
lioss of Vitul I'owor , BlcoplosKnosd , Despond-
uncy , Ixns of Memory , Confusion of IdcuD ,
Itlurs lltforo the Kyex , Jjis lliiilo , LaiiKUor ,
( lloomlness , Iepru8slon-ol Spirits. A\rrnlonto
Society. Kiinlly Dlscouraie < l , l.ack of ConH *
deuce , Dull , Mstloss , Unlit for Study orusi- |
nei-s , anil flndi life it Inirdun , Bufply. lurinu-
nently and 1'rlraKily Cured. t
Ol/iyUUoasca.Syplillls-a'ol.
Dl nOn
DLUUU H dlVln xuu" > most horrible la
Its results completely eradicated without the
use of mercury. Scrofula , Kryalpelai , Fever
Sores , IllotchfS , 1'lmples , Ulcers , pulns In the
Hoail and Hones , SyphiliticKoro ThroatMouth
and Toniruo , niniidulnr Kiilaryumont of the
Neck , Illiunmiitism , Catarrh , < itc. , 1'cnnunemly
Cured Wh n Others llavo Failed.
IIDIUIDV Kidney und llluU'lor trouble * ,
Unllllini I Weak Hack , llurnlDK Drlnc ,
Frequency of iJrlnatliiK , Urlno hlirh colored ot
milky codlmentonRtaniling , ( lonorrhira , Oleet ,
CjMitln , etc. , promptly und satcly cured.
Clmrites reasonnbl > > .
PRIVATE DISEASES
Kleet , stricture , romlnal emissions , Ions of
ual power , WOUKIU-S4 ot the soximl nr fainwniil
of doslro In malci or female , whether from lm
prudent habits ot younir or rexuul habits Iu
rantiro years , or any cause that debilitates the
sexual i unctions , speedily utld permanently
cured.
Consultation frco and ntrlctly contldentlal. .
Medicine sent free from observation to all
purls of the ITnlteJ fitutos. Correspondence
rtreues prompt attention. No Utters an-
furred uuleis accompanied br four cents la
ilmnps. .Hcjul slump for pttuiiihlot and list o (
lons. Terms gtrlctlv rash. Cull on or n4.
im. I'owKi.i , HKHVIH ,
No. Sli BoutU 13tl ( 81. , Omaha , N * > S
