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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 21, 1887)
MINCLINC W1TB ROYALTY. An Omnba Bee Oorreiipondent's Visit to Leamington-A " " Fashionable "Spa. INCREDULOUS MR. KNIBBS. Tlio Average EnKllqlima Inns The Unrmnltl lllvcr Avon A Poetic 1'rofcsaor. LONDON , July 30. [ Special Corres pondence of the UKE. ] Bidding adieu to the old city of Chester , and taking n last look at her antiquated walls , wo took a horse oar , or as Englishmen call It , a tram , for the Great Wustarn station , and bought tickets for Leamington which wo reached at eight o'clock in the evening. Leamington is a very fashionable "sna , " but contains nothing of any particular Interest to the tourist. Wo went there , however , because it was a convenient center from which to mnko httlo excur sions to ( lip famous old places In the neighborhood ) \\o ratjior expected to find a llttiomioro life and energy in the general mSWo uu of the pcoulo of Leam- Ingtpm cspc9 ally since it was a fashion- ablo-watering , place. But wo were dis appointed to learn that Leamington was Tory lltila 'more modern than Chester. The summer season had not yet begun , visitors had not conio in from London , and the people were apparently enjoying the last few days of their regular winter's sloop , before the general awakening of thctsumnicr. One thing was ver.y amus ing at Leamington and that was the look of utter amazement with which the dreamy old natives would gaze at the electric light apparatus which was just being put up. Our landlord , who bv the way came at the melodious call of Kmbbs , cave us a long lecture on modern inven tions , i rom his talk wo gathered that no had lirst heard of the ciectrio lijrht within a few days. The telephone was entirely now to him , nnd the low extra shillings wcro proba bly added to our hill because wo tried to make him believe there was such a thing. As an exponent of most brazen incred ulity , ins KNIUBS would certainly take the palm. But ho kept a good inn which wo accounted for by the fact that his bar-maid kept it for him. And this leads me to speak of that thoroughly English institution , the bar maid. To begin with , there are plenty of ale houses and inns in England , while the temperance clement ns wo know it in America , is almost entirely wanting. The average Englishman , or woman either , would not think of taking a meal without his glass of alo. There is no "olHco" in u country inn , but a bar which is presided over by a young lady , gener ally a pretty one , in a white cap and white apron. She first strikes you as being neat , sprightly and polite , nnd you never have occasion to change your opinion of her. She takes your name , gives you a room ana shows you to it , orders your luggage sent up , asks what ) you will have for supper , waits upon you at the table , givtu you the latest paper , which is generally a week old. calls you in the morning , in fact , she is here.thero and everywhere , and cither does every thing for your comfort and convenience or sues that it is done horsolf. MY VAHIOUS bTOI'S at English inns have tended to inspire a most profound respect and sometimes pity for bar-maids , as a class of individ : [ . uals who do so much work , do it so cheerfully and receive so little pay. As a , matter of fact the work done by a bar maid here generally requires two or three men in an American hotel. The Crown Inn. where wo stopped , was a , charming little place with cool , com fortable rooms and balconied windows. The fresh Uowcra which were placed on our table every day. and a hundred other little attentions which wo received at the . hands of Polly , the bar-maid of course , made us want to stay at the inn all the timo. After our first night's rest , howev er , wo took thn train for Warwick , and after visiting the castle wo were not all sorr.v to have left the Crown. Warwick castle is truly a magnificent place and > Scott's glowing tribute to its splendour is no exaggeration. It stands on a state ly eminence , commanding a iino view of THE KIVEK AVON , : and is almost surrounded by a thickly } wooded park , After paying the entrance fee of a slullinc at the porter's ledge , wo walked through a long passage way ap parently cut into the rock. The foliage on either side was thick enough to form a complete arch over the passage way making it dolicionsly cool. Passing over the draw bridge and under the cullis wo found ourselves in a largo grass covered court surrounded by drives nnd walks , and these in turu hemmed in by the gray turrets and lofty towers of the cas tle. Following the directions of a guide wo ascended ono of the highest towers from which a splendid view was to be bad of the whole castle , the court , the moat , the river , tbo park and gardens , the town , and the slender spires of coventry - entry in the distance. The sight was in spiring. It was our "first castlo" and the impressions were similar to those of our "first cathedral" at Chester. The professor waxed poetic as usual and did not recover from his reverie until ono of the numerous rod-coats about the castle v- took him by the shoulder and walt/.ed him oil to a gravel walk informing him that visitors wore expected to "keep off thojrrawss. ' ' After sitting awhile in the cool shade of thu west wall , contemplating the srcno and recalling many of the historic events which have made the old place so familiar. Wo were informed that a , guido was about to show a party through the huorloriof the castle and that wo could join them if wo wished. Wo ac cordingly entered the mansion house which is.againsttho wall nearest the rlxcr. ll was here that wo got our first idea of the chrValrio splendor nf olden times. Tho. 'mansion is now occupied by the Grcvillo family , who , luckily tor us , were not at homo at the time of our visit. It wivs throuati the private apartments of this family that wo were shown. A careful - ful description ol the magnificent rooms nnd the I'llIOKLESS THF.ASUKES in them would bo futiguoing both to you and to mo. The grand banquet hall was of particular interest , os it had been re stored to its original appearance. Its walls wcro embellished with the shining armor of old knights and with other Ins- relics. The guiuo hero requested us to "please keep lion the wito squares of the lloor , as the bothers 'ad just been varnished , - nished , " which order was somewhat in convenient for some of us , since the squares wore only eighteen inches across. The drawing rooms , saloons and halls of the Interior wore all richly decorated with paintings , mostly by Van Dyke. The turmturn , too. was rare , the ciiiilo frequently remarking that "tho top of this table is of thu richest Florentine mo saic , and is estimated at so many thousand pounds. " The royal bedroom attracted universal attention , as it contained the fame furniture , tapestryb d and canopy , as when occupied by Queen Anne , The richly Inlaid canopy and spreads ro Wonderfully well preserved. Thcro was an admirabl" view from the window of this chamber down over the ivy buttresses - ' tresses of the castle across the moat and to the rivor.whlch bubbled over the rocks in a beautiful 'cascade.V'o \ , were two ' hours in going through the interior , and lovely 'M ino place was , wo wcro tired and clad to leave ll. On leaving the rooms wa saw liveried servants Hitting busily about , apparently getting things that < the * * ' * ° ? , W K tr" > court wo saw English Hag was being hoisted on the great fowor. "Ayo , and you wouldn't rccp'ulxo the place to-morrow , " the porter told us. " ' /s / honor 'as been celt n' married , don'tcherkiiow. Yes , c ; Pl' ' > Urov llo.tho third son of the Hear ! of Warrick's got married an * they're comm 'omo a Monday to spcn' tho' onoy- for 10 th ' . t,1V u.Ravo the porter a twoponco s bit of news. Ho thanked us very politely nnd called to his wife to "givo the gentlemen some o' thai , best 'OMKllUEWKIillAl.E , " 1 " 8 th ° Wo had thon'scten thu last of Warwick castle hut not of Warwick itself , whoso history would ( ill the pages of a good sued book. Wo nO.xt visited St. Marv's church and lliogatesof the city. Agrealcr portion of St. Mary's was destroyed by a lire which swept through the city about two hundred years ago , but the choir and chapter-house were preserved furnishing a line specimen of the docor- pled stylo. Wo paid an extra fee to get into the Beaucha'mp chapel , which con tains the tombs of Richard Bcattchamp , its founder , and Ihat of Dudley , carl of Leicester , whom you all remember as the favorite of Queen Elizabeth. Boau- champ's tomb is profusely decorated in carving and gill , and is said lo bo second to none in the kingdom oxcojJtthat of Henry VII. in Westminsler. After standIng - Ing a few moments under the handsome nave and admiring Us fine proportions , wo wont lo see Iho east and west gates of the city.which arc nothing more than old stone arches with towers on Hie tops- hut oh , if those towers could speak , what volumes they could tell of the Iroublo- sonic old limes when Iho nods of kings shaped Iho destiny of nations. The next two days were given to visits at Stratford on Avon and Kcnilworth castle , an account of which I shall give in my next letter. Fiuyy SKI-EL. BOOK RISV1KW. "AKTKK SCHOOL DAYS" is a now and interesting book issued by D. Lothrop company of Boslon , from Iho pen of Christina Goodwin. This book has none of the feverish elements which characterize most works of fiction nowa days , but ianatural-bright and health ful. It is a story for girls , and its openIng - Ing pages are descriptive of life at a country boarding school. In the first chaplcr the principal characters of the story are introduced in a group at the close of Ihe school term , and their con versation gives a oluo lo their different characters and aspirations. Later chap ters develop their different courses of life ns shaped by circumstances and in- olination. It is not as a story alone Ihat "After School Days" is charming. Thnro is strong moral liber in it , and tiioro are scattered through its pages apt sugges tions as to Iho vilal things of life which sannol but set readers lo thinking. And they are .introduced so deftly and un- 3onsciously lhal they have no effect of jcinu forced. The key to the book may 3e found in these half-dozen lines from mo of the chaplors : "If life has taught no anything it is this , to value the present , lo enjoy to the ulmost its pleas- ires , to ostimalo al Iho highest Us oppor- unitics , to praise the Lord for its blcss- ngs without looking for ward with anxiety r backward with regret. " IAHATOGA cini's AND CAHLSBAD WAFERS. Funk & Wagnalls.Now York , have just ssued "Saratoga Chips and Carlsbad Vafcrs , " by Nalhan Shoppard. This miquo book is a qnaintcrispand humor- ius description of the pursuit of luippi- loss and health at the two great mineral valor rosorls of America and Europe. It s piclured from real life. The sketch is raphic and rualislic to the first degree , 'hero is a strange mixture of wit , phil- isopbynnU instiuotiouiii UH pmu. ( . it is s breezy as the pine-laden atmosphere if our famed Saratoga ? The man , or the iroman , in pursuit of health , rcsl , recrca- ion. can do no wiser thing than to got nd road this little book. . * THE UOOK OF LIFE. A very interesting work is that jssu d the Health and Homo of Chicago. . .ior the litle of "Tho Book of Life.1 L'his is from the pen of Dr. Sivartha.and hews Ihorough research on Iho part of ts author. From the origin of the worlds ho author leads the reader into the deep- ist of thought , and on subjects pertinent o men and things , and into the destiny f nations. To the author it is indeed a ireditable effort , the illustrations also aeing clear and interesting , but Ihe pub- isher may have , with profit , made a do- idod improvement in the arrangement f subjects. * * . THE HEPOUTKR 8 OUIDE. Every advanced short-baud reporter is constantly looking for what ho calls ex pedients in phonography , or Ihe lalest unproved methods and word-signs for phrasing , designed lo aid in a greater rale of speed , and a greater degree of nccuracy. Any pnblicalion which tends to Ihis end is anxiously looked for. Wo have made a careful review of "Tho Ke- portor's Guido , " designed for students in any slyle of phonography , and find it an invaluable work to any short-hand writer. Ellas Longloy is the author , Cin cinnati , O. , or Los Angeles , Cal. , imce fj by mail. 250 pages , just published. IltKI.ANl ) SINCE THKUNION 1800-1880 , is an interesting book , from Ihu pen of Justin Iluntloy McCarthy , published by Bolfovd , Clarke & Co. , of Chicago. It is a history of Iho various movements of the Irish people for legislative indepen dence and liberty from the period of the penal laws lo homo rule. The defense of Limerick by Patrick Sursliold , earl of Lucau , unathe violaled Irealy , forms Iho opening chaplor. followed by a skclch of Iho volunteer movement in 'l)8the ) union , Daniel O'Connoll's slrugglo for Calholio emancipation and his aborlivo efforts for repealfonlanlsm and other futile attempts to wring from England the substance of nationality. Mr. McCarthy is too well known to this neneralion of readers to need an introduction , neither does his work require commendation. Although an active participant in the latest move ment for Irish independence , his work is free from partisan bias , and deals with facts and conditions as they were and aro. The book is dedicated to "Right Honorable William E. Gladstone , " as a "brief record of a wrong he has done so much to right and an enmity ho has reconciled. , General Miles' Sword. New York Tribune : The $1,000 sword which the people of Arizona will soon present to General Miles will not bo orna mented with gems , save a splendid ame thyst at the end of the handle. The scab bard will bo of solid gold. One side will bo left for Iho prvsenlalion inscriptions , etc. The other side will bo engraved with the following ace'ncs : First , the agency of San Carlos on thu reservation , the Indians appearing in natural camp life : second scene , companies of cavalry and Infantry in pursuit of Indians ; third , the light ; fourth , Ihe caplure and the Indians marched to Bowie Stalion , whore u train of cars stands wailing for Iheir reception ; and last , Geronimo's head , with hat on. forming the foot of the scabbard. The blade is of Damascus steel , on which will bo engraved the name of General Nelson A. Miles , with scroll work. The handle or handgrip will bo of white shark's skin braided in gold. The guard will bo of gold and be emblematic of both cavalry and Infantry. At the extreme end of the guard , engraved - graved in gold , will be the head of Natchez , the son of Cochisc. Poz/.om s. Complexion Powder pro duci's. n soft and beautiful skin. It com bines every element of beauty and purity. Sold by druggists. MATRIMONIAL HAPPINESS , Borne Who Have Bought It In Vain-Others With Success , COST OF A WEDDING OUTFIT. Marrying the Same Man Twice Bob Ingersotrii Wedding A Marrying Market Where the Good Wife Is Found. What la Love ? Otorve Arnohl. Darling , I'm lonely when thou art not near me , Lonely , with even the denrest beside ; Voices whoso tones used to gladden nnd cheer mo ii .cln.f ° llaTe al1 thclr ° Il ni Rlc denied. But In thy presence each dear ono Is dearer , Music Is sweeter and starlight clearer. Friendship and truth appear truer , slncorer , Oh I surely 'tis this that they tell us is love. Absent , thine Imago lloats ever before mo Present , 1 only can feel that thou art in the vanue sense of dcllxht that steals o'er 'WIldorlnK my brain and thrilling my There Is no one so lovely where brautv as- semoles. Them Is nothlne ray dreamlne about thee ro- scmblus bavo soiiia bright star In the far sky that trembles Oh I surely 'tis this that they tell us is love. _ What n Mait'H Weditlne Outnt Cost * . From the Haberdasher : There was ft time whun a trousseau was exclusively a woman privilege. In those days the ap parel of groom was not considered at till , or if considered , wits held to bo of no consequence whatever. "Times have chanced , untt we have changed with them , " as some old Latin duller or other has remarked , and with these channitif times the groom has grown to bo of as much importance us the bridegroom iu the matter of dress. There arc still , perhaps , some obscure nooks where a now necktie , three pair of socks , " a clear collar nnd one-third of a dozen of now shirts are amply suf ficient to start upon married life , but such is not the case In New York. Now adays , no less expense Is incurred on be half of the groom , but it falls upon him self , and he , too , must pay a part of the expenseof a fashionable weddinjr. ns follows : 0 suits silk underwear at $40 . x wo 4 dozen pairs silk hoscatSGO . 4o 3 dress shirts at S10 . 120 2 do/en plain shirts at SCO . ii > o 2 dozen collars at 4 . 8 U dozen culls at 85 . ia " " 1 white silk vest . . . ! 25 a white pique vesta at Sia . ye Neckwear ( &ay ) . 25 dozen Hnj-n nandfcerchlefsatStS. . . . M CsllkhandkeichlefsatSS . is 1 pair suspenders atSlO . ' in 3 pair suspenders at 3 . 9 1 dress suit . 05 " ' ' " 1 business suit . . . . . M 1 afternoon suit . . . 100 Idrivinssuit . " . . . . 100 1 ovcicoat . pa 1 toocoat . oo Hats. &c . ; go blines , & . fft ° 4 silk nielli shirts at S25 . | 100 1 bath robe . 20 4 Pa jama suits rttSIS . 73 Smoking jacket and cap . 45 bilk dreeing suit . so 3 muniers at 310 . 1 Inside vest of silk . 25 1 leather shirt ease , silver mounted. . . . SO 1 leather handkeichlef cnso . 20 1 traveling rube . 35 1 waterproof coat . HO ' ' ' ' ' ' ' 1 English hold-all . . . . . . . . 15 1 cane and 1 umbrella , gold mounted. . 50 1 dozen s loves . . . . so Jewelry . 150 Total . . . . . . § 2,345 Of course there are many things besides - sides these that an exacting taste would tlcmaud , but this is a fair estimate of what a gilded youth of Gotham would think the proper thing for a bridal out- lit. The cost of little trifles like these has no terrors , but there is ono item whose cost we have omitted that fre quently proves n paralyzor. This is a wife. "Aw , no , old chappie , I'm not a marry ing man. The women are so dtiosid ex travagant. don't yo knowt" And it is because the women "arc so doosid extravagant" that marrying is somewhat sparingly practiced nowa days. Marrying the Same Man Twice. Utica Observer : About fifteen years ago , on board a dancing barge , when a big Tammany excursion was holding high carnival , Morris Curran had drank more firewater than was good for him. He got to fooling with some young girls from one of the upper wards of $ ow York. "I want a nice little wife , " said he ; "which one of you will nave mo ? " A mischicvious little miss , whose father was on board , anchored at the bar , spoke up that she wanted to take out her free dom papers , and know of no better way to escape her parents than to get a hus band. "No time like the present , " said Cur- ran. "Hero's a man who will marry us ; " and he called to a fellow who was pass ing. After a little more badinage the Tammany man bade the proposing part ners take hold of hands. Ho wont over a form and pronounced thorn man and wife. Justthon the girl's father came up , and there was a discovery. Curran and little Delia were married , sure enough , for it was Justice Ledwith from Jefferson Market wno had performed the ceremony. A scrimmage ensued , in which broken heads and torn clothes wcro conspicuous. The father hurried homo wiih his child , and early next morning sought the oftice of Charley Spencer , the criminal lawyer. A divorce was obtained , and ton years ago the girl was married to another man. lint the passage of time brought many chances. Delia , the bride of the barge , lost her husband she had married in 1877 , and in 1877 a widow with two little children and a sick father found the world by no means a Tammany picnic. She worked away with a stout heart , however , and kept a tidy homo for her helpless family at the top of a now Hat house on the cast side. Ono day she got to thinging now nice it would bo ifsho could get the earn or such n house. A thousand little janitorial duties the old father could perform , and she would hire a stout servant tor the hard work. She wrote to the agent of the house stating her cir cumstances and wishes , and signed her whole name , Delia Coo Driscoll. Next day a portly old fellow with a Santa Claus expression of face and figure , climbed to her sky parlor. The pretty little widow colored with expectation as he told her that he was the owner of the building. "You are a widow , Mrs. Driscoll ! " he said , "I lost my husband years ago. " "Was he your first husband ? " "Why. ycs-certalnly that is " the little widow stopped aa the recollection of her child-life trouble came across her. "You may have heard it was in the papers at the time , and a great sorrow to us all , I was married for fun , not know ing I was being married when 1 was only sixteen , to a Air. Curran. " "I am that Mr. Curran , " said the gen- Ueman , and the widow nearly fainted. The courtship was short and now Mr. and Mrs. Curran are spending their honeymoon at the branch. A Marrying Market for 100 Ulrltf. Now Orleans Picayune : The Pandandle of Toxai U a body -of territory running up at the extreme northwest corner of the state between the Indian territory I NowMcxlc * . UU now filling up I with people , and In Crjby county , where the largest gathering f population is , there is a town whi < has taken the name tof Pnndnndlo. Somebody has started a newspaper trc.tind in n recent - cent issue of It appeatl the follbwing : "Wanted ImmediatcilOO single young women who arc prcpfcd to rough it for a time to come to U Panhandle and marry onr thrifty yeti > men who have located on 610 acres otind nnd are now living in dugouts , tentnnd cabins. Wo can speak a good wordpr every ono of the boys ; they are allioblo American citizens except onn , an < io is a little un fortunate in being the i of an English lord. Girls , this Is a gw chance. Be sides this , married life Mil beat single blessedness every time. In a few months time the dugouts will bduniedfllnto col lars and comfortable hcfccs erected when the railroads bring in Inner. " There is no place llko a now ooUry for the fair snx. There every youg woman is a belle and every good wman is little less than an angel. The rogh men of the frontier know how to pprcoialo the in trinsic excellence of to sex. Bob IneersollVfVoddlne. Buffalo Times : A pcsion examiner in Illinois was required tnake the deposi tion of an applicant fo ) a pension who seemed very positive aout the date on which ho contracted a wore cold , which resulted m a chronic dUeulty , for which ho claimed the bounty of the govern ment. His positivents as to the date lea to the inquery how t was that ho could swear to an indent which was comparatively trivial Mien it occurred. Ho said : "i know that the colt' was contracted on the 2lst of Februar , 18(53 ( , because Hob Ingersoll was marled on the follow ing day. How do I omo to remember that so well ? Why , Ho was the colonel of our regiment. I ws on guard duty near Pcoria on the mglt of the 31st. It was as cold as lever fet it.and as I stood at my post Bob came aong and after sa luting him 1 said , 'Bon.if you can't give moan overcoat , a botto of whisky , or relieve mo from this dtty I will free/.o to doitl.1 ! Ho replied. 'I'll do all ll.roo. " > \ ith that ho took ofl'life overcoat , which had been made as a part of his wedding outfit , and handed it to mo. Then from his inside pocket ho hosted out a llaskof prime old red-cyo and shucked that over. too , After that ho loft mo and returned tohis quarters , and I'll bo blamed if ho didn't issue orders for the relief of the entire guard , as ho said It was too cussed cold for guard duty that night. You * co that event impressed ditos on my mem ory , and 1 am not likplf to soon forget Colonel 13ob's wedding , " To Bo WcddciA Happily. Baltimore American i Hapuiness and selhshuess can never llourish in the same stem ; one kills the other. To be wedded Tiappilv the pro- moter.i are congeniality and" unselfish ness. A good woman will endure much for her nusband , the man for his wife. A true woman will smile , cheer and help her husband should clouds come. Then is the time to test her character , solve the problnm , the object of her matrimony. Men look for women with n heart , a soiil ; do not let their facial beauty be their sole attraction : rather lot it bo their beauty of K6ul and character that insoires youriovo for them. For with these tho're is no autumn ; no fading ; theluavcs ! will bo fresh and beautiful forever. < Where the Good WHo Is Found. New Orleans Picayune : Lifo is short and women are many. Most men have not time for moro than a superficial ex amination of uaoh of their fair friends , and to her who crowds her best goods into the showcase is awarded the highest pri/.o. Hebrew Standard. This is very iiueer advice. It is not necessary to ro sampling the world and > > vwi"nim'go to S " " 'A WjmtSjajr/lPvVn 6od mother for tier daughter. Ho will uotgo fur wrong. 1'he goods in the showcase arc made to sell and may not bo of the best quality. Tidlea as Creators Ot Squabbles. Bab , in New Yorlc.Stm : Why doesn't congress abolish tidies ? Thev have been the cause of more matrimonial squabbles , of more waste of time and a greater amount of folly than * any oilier small vice , and once done and -possessed there is absolutely nothing gained. Don't Go to u Ue ort for a Wife. Savannah News : Peqiple who do not visit the resorts arc pertjaps happier than those who do. They arc'heither seeking fortunes nor i * 4ioy avoiding those who arc. In the matter of marriage it is al ways better to choose life partners at home , for thcro is then mnch less danger of making a mistake thot , may cause life long unhappincss. Why Ilon't They Prosper ? San Francisco Report ! The proper re frain just now is : "Why don't the men prosper ? " It is sung in every city in the union with most pathetic intonation. It is a fact , however , that the dearth of mar riages can bo counted against women as well as man. A love of Indcpcndencejhas done moro to injure the marriage market than lack ot gold on either side. What man wants to tie himself to a girl who frankly says she will take care of herself , and hesitates not to do so , whether It be agreeblo or otherwise to him ? And what girl hungers to mate with a man who gorges himself on cigarettes and runs with the boys night after night ? Such unions increase responsibilities , nnd nor- sens fitted to care for only themselves are not equal to the burden. It is per haps , as well that comparatively few venture into the nuptial not , while the odds for happiness and contentment arose so much against them. Parnnll'ft Power a Mystery. New York Times : Mr. Parnell , almost alone of the eight notable men who stand in the first rank of thu Irish parliamentary party , can scarcely bo'said to explain his greatness to the observer , either by his speech or his appearance. His person ality and his power alike remain a mystery to those who see him most closely. There is nothing specially impressive about his fane. It is delicate without being cither nervous or hand- som , and there is no sign of great strength or depth in its bright eyes , its thin nose , or its small mouth. His voice is ingli- pitched and rather tcminme in its Intonation , with no suggestion of mag netism in tibro. Ho seems to havcjno faculty for remembering names or faces. Ho has no particular friendship outside of it. He is aft'ablo to people introduced to him , and rarely gives them the impres sion that he is reticent. It has passed into a proverb that he is reticent , and 1 dare say it may bo the case , but he has a score of times talked with apparently the utmost freedom on every subject that came up , no matter bow delicate it was. Ho is at least outwardly a cold man , not given to show interest lathings and this has bred the notion , doubtless , that ho is secretive. The deference which is paid to him by his followers has no close par allel anywhere within my knowledge Perhaps the nearest political approach to it was to bo found in New-York State 10 years ago , iu the attitude of the Stalwarl henchmen toward Koscoe Conkllng , but the points of difference are many. Conk ling was a dramatic and imperious , am Parnell is neither ; the Stalwarts followec the Senator iu part from personal liking in part from personal fear , while the Irish members have little deep persona feeling toward their chief ouo way or the other. _ Imperfect digestion and assimilation produce disordered conditions of the sys tern which grow and are confirmed by ncgieet. Df. J. 11. McLean 'a Strengthen ing Cordial and Blood Puriliorby Ha tonic properties cures indigestion atu gives tone to the stotpacu. ' . SOME MIDSUMMER SMILES , A Young Man Who Was Equal to a Trying Occasion. THE ARMY MULE'S ' SAD LOT. English ai She ls\Vrole-Tho Subject Was ChniiKcd Two Model Ilualnos Letters lilts of Fun. English aa She Is Wroto. If. C. Dxiac. The teacher a lesson ho tauctit , The preacher a sorinon ho praucht : Tliostealor , ho stole : The Healer , liohulo ; And the screoclier , ho awfully scriuiRht. The ' long winded speaker , hospoko : 'Ihe poor ollice-seekor , ho soko : The runner , ha ran ; The diinner , ho dan ; And the shiekor , he horribly shroke. The flyer , to Canada How ; Tlio buyer , on credit ho bow ; The door , ho did ; Thesuer , hosld ; And the llnr , ( a tlslierman ) lew. The writer , this nonsense wrote : The lighter , ( an editor ) fete ; The swimmer , ho svrixm ; The skimmer , ho skam : And the biter was hungry nnd boto. The Subject tt'na ChnnRCd. "My dear , " said ho to his lady lovo. Tve boon busy all day ; not manual abor , you know , bul brain work , which is Ihc hardest kind , " "Yes , indeed ; 1 know il must bo for you , " and there was a look of lender ivmpalliy in her eyes which aroused him. faho was quilo in eernest. Ho changed the subject. The Armjr.'niulo lit Ttmo of Peace. < | J" . II * . linrucfs. That men -ungrateful can plainly bo scon n the case of the nuilo standing out on the preen. His features are careworn ; bowed down Is his head : Us spirit is broken ; his hopes have all Hod. lie thinks of the time whan tlie battle raircd sore , Wlien ho mingled his bray with the cannon's loud roar ; When Uncle Sam's soldiers watched for him tn come llatillni' stores of provisions , and powder , and ruin ; When his comlnn was greeted with cheers and linz/.as And the victory turned on the side of the stars. These thoughts put now Ufa In rickety bo nes lie prances Just once , then falls over and groans. A vision pomes over his poor , mulish mind. And ! IQ sees Uncle Sam , with his agents behind - hind , Urantlni ; pensions by thousands to all who apply , ; rom the private so low to the ollicer high ; lo the iich and the poor , the wise man aud fool , But alas there Is uono for the "poor army " mule. What Mo Gives Us. When Lo. the brave , in daubs of paint , Most gilmly doth appear , lie may be said to give us then A little Slonx-vencer. ThuuRhl Ho Had Him. Pat made a bet of a dollar with Mlko that 10 could curry a hod full of bricks up three adders to the top of a buiUllni * , with Mlko blttliiK on tlie lioil. - - " ° The ladders " "r01'.f ftt mall ° a ? were A" : bmldlnir r\ . * ii" nlmselt In time to save nJnu-inTitni ; forty feet to the stone .sidewalk. Airlvlntrat tl ) top. 1'nt said : "Begorra , 'vo wan the dollure. " "Yls- replied Mike , "but when yo ( dipped I thought I had yo. " The New Mother Hubbard. There went to the cupboard A ladv named llupboard To look for a bone ; lint when she found none It saddened her so that she blubboard. Ue Would Klsk ir. A boy had a very hard biscuit , lln often throw U at hlscult , Said I : "My dear Ooy , You'll kill kit with thai toy. " Bui Iho youngster said ho would rlscult. A Uoni Hallor. Ho was an amateur yachtman , and ho ooked around the store in a timid way > cforu ho hesitatingly asked : "Got any tacks ? " "Yes , sir , plenty of "cm. How many wipers ? " "I guess I'll take a paper of starboard and a paper of port. I'm going a-sailing , md I want , to bo provided with both kinds. " ThoDude'H 1 wish 1 were a Hottentot , Without a tailor's bill , And not a golden-headed dude Who has to dross to kill. My coHtume but an ostrich tall , And rings In ears and nose , 1 would not ewe as much as now For doluir up my clothes. That I was born In Africa Sweet Nature 1 would bless , for every day without expense I'd wear complete lull dress. And I'd he frco as Adam was In early days from cullu , And on Sundays wenr a lit ; leaf In addition to a smile. Her IIUHtlo was Off. Elmira Gazette : ' 'Oh , it was perfectly awful , " said ouo young woman to an other in a street car which had stopped on the Lake street switch the other day ; "I was lying in the hammock , " she wont on , and , if I do say it , you know 1 look pretty nice in that and ho was sitting in a porch chair beside mo. It was a lovely ovonlng.for there wasn't a sign of a moon , and oven the street lamp on the corner was not lighted. Wo were having a delightful time , and ho grow moro and moro affectionate. Oh , it was delightful. Ho hold ono of my hands and kept the hammock gently swaying back and forth. Finally ho loaned loward me , his face almost to mlno , and I know ho was just about to say something awfully nlco when what do you thmk Iho hammock siring broKe ! 1 had lakon off my bustle so I could recline comfortably in the ham mock , and , saytho way 1 struck that porch " But jut then the car sped on. Texas UroatnosH. Minneapolis Journal : A Texas man came u to Lake Minnctonka Iho other day and was lalklug with an acquaint ance about onu of his friends. "Most talented man in the stale , " ex claimed Iho Texan , enthusiastically. "Groat man , ehV" ' 'Well , I should say ho was. Never mot his equal. His abilities ought to make him the greatest man in Ameri ca. " "What is he lawyer ? " "No , sir. " "Lltciary man ? " "I should cay not. " Politician * " "Not much. " "What direction docs this greatness tane'then " * * "Why , man , ho can take a pair of deuces and beat anything under four jacks , drink four quarts of whisky at i silting and plug a penny every shol a our paces. Ho a the ablest man in tin fouth to-day. " Mttlo lllta of Fun. "Man proposes , " read the old maid contemptuously , and then she added "That's as much as they know about it My experience , has btserUhat niaii doeau * proposo. " . Kcotiomists declare that a dollar gee further now than it used. That ; perhaps 9 HOWE & KERR , FURNITURE 1510 DOUGLAS STREET , ( Opposite Falconer's. ) BEAU IN MIND WE ARK SELLING Furniture , Carpets , Stoves and Household'Goods Of every Description , on Creditat - Cash Prices. PEOPLES' INSTALLMENT HOUSE 613 N. 16th St. , Between California and Webster , ROSENTHAL & CO. , Proprietors. - RILEY & McMAHON , Real Estate and Loan Brokers , 310 South Fifteenth. Street. 0116 lots In Patrick * mid , from II ,000 : 1400 cnih Homo desirable trncknifO lots. Nice acre * In IJonflcUl ohonp. A flno acre tn Washington Hill HILL & YOUNG , 1211 and 1213 FARNAM ST. FURNITURE Carpets , Stoves , HOUSO Vnrsiil' Weekly and Monthly Pay ments , is the reason that it is such a long time getting around to some of us. An exchange wants to know "what product has the greatest acreage ? " Cornl And on the foot it is the greatest cause of acher rago. Spencer tolls us the only alcop and laughter rests the brain. Hut Spencer is 'way oft' . Wo know a man who was kicked shamefully by a mule whose brain is resting as quietly as a man who doesn't advertise. There is a man in Now York who has cleared if 1,000,000 during the past year from the sale of pics. Nearly all the doc tors take off their hats to him on the street. Position * That Affect Bleep. According Dr. Gfanvillo the posi tion affects sleep. A constrained position generally prevents - vents repose , while a comfortable one woos sleep. He says : Lying tlat on the back with the limbs relaxed , would seem to secure the great est amount of rest for the muscular sys tem. tem.This is the position assumed in the most exhausting diseases , and it is generally hailed as a token of revival when the pa tient voluntarily turns on the Bide ; but there are several disadvantages in the supine posture which impair and em barrass sleep. Thus , in weakly states of the heart and blood vessels , and certain morbid condi tions of the brain , "the blood seems to grayitato to the back of the head and to produce troublesome droains. In persons who habitually , m thclr ga or work , stoop , thcro is probably some distress consequent on straightening the spine. Those who have contracted chosta , es pecially persons who have had pleurisy and retain adhesions of the * lungs , do not sleep well on the back. Nearly all who are inclined to snore dose so in that position , because the soft palate - ate and uvula hand on the tongue , and that organ falls hack so as to close the ton of the windpipe. It is better , therefore , to lio.pn the side , and in the absence of special diseases rendering it desirable to lie on the weak side , so as to leave the healthy lung frco to expand , it is well to use thu right side , because when the body is thus placed the food gravitates more easily out of the stomach into the intestines , nnd the weight of the stomach does not com press the upper portion of the intestines. A glancu at any plain of the visceral anatomy will show how this must bo. Many persons are deaf in one oar and prefer to lie on n-particular side ; but , if possible , the right side should bo chosen. Again , sleeping with the arms thrown over the head is to bo deprecated : but this position is often assumed during sleep , because circulation is then free in the extremities , and the head and neck and muscles of the chest are ilruwn up and lixed by tno shoulders , and thus the expansion of the thorax is easy. The chief objection to these positions < are that they create a tendency to cramp and cold in the arms , and some times seem to cause headaches during tleep and dreams. These small matters often make or mar comfort in sleeping. IVhorn Monkeys Get Their Costume * . Now York News ; I have always had a curiosity to discover whore the oriran grinders' monkeys get their outlils , 1'ho other day my craving was gratified. In a Hroom street basement 1 discovered a pretty girl trimming a monkey's coat The hats and caps which complete the costume of the melodious ape were only present to the extent of a boxful. Tlioro is not a vorv heavy demand for those cos tumos. says the pretty girl.aud their manufacture is only part of that of cheap dolls' clothing , ami queer nig rabbits cloth cats , and other articles of vnrti is I BOas \ \ \ nrosold by street venders. Voi , 1 cau dresj a monkey decently for half ; dollar and provide him with a uniform ut to order , warranted to fit and splcu- id enough for an opera botiflb field mar- hal , for $1.50 , cash down. The credit ystem , without which dudedom would bo in a bad way , docs not prevail at this lass of monkeys' tailors. DR. POWELL REEVES , 314 South 13th St. , Omaha , Neb. PRIVATE DISPENSARY. Established for the Scientific and Speedy Cure of Chronic. Nervous and Special Thu Old llollnbb Specialist of many years ex perience , treat * with wonderful IUCCOKH all LUNd. THItOAT , CANCEH , 1'IJ.ES , KI8TO * LA. IlblTUHE , cured without KN1FK Oil TrenU all forme of Throat Lung : , Nerre and I Hood diseases , all Chronic diseases und I > o- ( ormltlPH far In advance of any Institution In : hls country. These who contemplate KOln > to Hot Springs for the treatment of any Privateer or Illood disease cun be cured for onu-tlnnl the cost at our Private Dispensary , 314 Boutb J3th street , Oinnlia , Nob. HUl'TUUH cured without pain or lilndoranoo rom business. I miCC Hy this treatment a pure Lovely LMUIbv Complexion , free from elownog * . trccklcB , blarkheads , eruption ? , etc , , llrllllani Kycs nnd perlcct henlth cun bo hud. ftr Thut "tired" feellntc and ulifoinnlo weak- IIOHBCB piomptly cured. lUontlnif lluaduchetf , Nervous 1'rostrntlon , Uononit Drmllty , Sleep lessness , Depression und lnillife tlop , fviirlon trouliloK , Intlnmmatlon and Ulcorii\nFallliitr | and DlnplacoincntN , Splnnl weoknvia , Kidney coninlulnts anj ChunKe of Llf < y- ' Consult U old Doctor. ' iVvf EVE AUn C ID Aauto6r0ivroiilolnllam bib MnU CHlliinatlonor. rnu.Kyelldsor Uloboniul lar or Near BlKhtpdnivM inverHloa of the Lids. ScrofuldUd H > 09. l.W//AUons , Ja- llrtniiniitloiie , Almc-oss , Dmincii otWyilonof one or lioth eyes , und TuinorH of l.lif , ' ' ' fW Innummatlon of the Bar , ( Jkorntlon or Catarrh , Internal or External Doufnosn , or 1'nralyBlSi blngliiK ° r UourliiK nolsrg , Tulckeuod Drum. eto. yCllUnilC Debility , Bpormatorrhoj , Bum- nCHlUUd Inal Loaiei , Nlyht EmUelonH , lioss of Vitul I'owor , BlcoplosKnosd , Despond- uncy , Ixns of Memory , Confusion of IdcuD , Itlurs lltforo the Kyex , Jjis lliiilo , LaiiKUor , ( lloomlness , Iepru8slon-ol Spirits. A\rrnlonto Society. Kiinlly Dlscouraie < l , l.ack of ConH * deuce , Dull , Mstloss , Unlit for Study orusi- | nei-s , anil flndi life it Inirdun , Bufply. lurinu- nently and 1'rlraKily Cured. t Ol/iyUUoasca.Syplillls-a'ol. Dl nOn DLUUU H dlVln xuu" > most horrible la Its results completely eradicated without the use of mercury. Scrofula , Kryalpelai , Fever Sores , IllotchfS , 1'lmples , Ulcers , pulns In the Hoail and Hones , SyphiliticKoro ThroatMouth and Toniruo , niniidulnr Kiilaryumont of the Neck , Illiunmiitism , Catarrh , < itc. , 1'cnnunemly Cured Wh n Others llavo Failed. IIDIUIDV Kidney und llluU'lor trouble * , Unllllini I Weak Hack , llurnlDK Drlnc , Frequency of iJrlnatliiK , Urlno hlirh colored ot milky codlmentonRtaniling , ( lonorrhira , Oleet , CjMitln , etc. , promptly und satcly cured. Clmrites reasonnbl > > . PRIVATE DISEASES Kleet , stricture , romlnal emissions , Ions of ual power , WOUKIU-S4 ot the soximl nr fainwniil of doslro In malci or female , whether from lm prudent habits ot younir or rexuul habits Iu rantiro years , or any cause that debilitates the sexual i unctions , speedily utld permanently cured. Consultation frco and ntrlctly contldentlal. . Medicine sent free from observation to all purls of the ITnlteJ fitutos. Correspondence rtreues prompt attention. No Utters an- furred uuleis accompanied br four cents la ilmnps. .Hcjul slump for pttuiiihlot and list o ( lons. Terms gtrlctlv rash. Cull on or n4. im. I'owKi.i , HKHVIH , No. Sli BoutU 13tl ( 81. , Omaha , N * > S