Nebraska Newspapers

    10 THE OMAHA DAILY BEEi SUNDAY JtTNE 19. 1887.--TWELVE PAGES.
SOLACE FOR THE SIMMERING ,
Perspiring Fen Drops From Punsters of
the Profession.
AN NICE SCREAM FEAST.
t Wns Pyo for tlio Boarders Fnrinor
Silicons Scheme ( o llootn the Mod
el or The 1'oker Player's
Soliloquy ,
How It Alwnys Works.
They tried to choose a jury twelve honest
men to llnd ,
DIstlngnlancd for their absolute vacuity of
mind.
One candidate was challenged because ho
brought to view
Some little trace of Intellect -and that would
never do 1
The next was dropped directly , as quick as
jou could wink ,
Ucc.iuso he said when ho was young ho some
times used to think.
The next was turned away In haste without
a second look ,
for he Impudently confessed ho once had
read a book.
It Was Pyo For the Hoarders.
London Truth : From the evidence re
ported of a recent divorce suit some light
is thrown upon the kissing In n boarding
houso. A Mr. Pye sought n divorce from
-Mrs. - 1'yo on the ground that nil the
boarders In the house whcro the pair
lived had drifted Into the luibit of kissing
Mrs. 1'yo. Ucru is a Mr. Dcmnsy'a evi
dence :
"Did you ever see Thompson kiss Mrs.
Tye ? "
"Lots of times ; and when I did not sco
him I heard him. There wns a plaintive
Bobbing gurgle about It that reminded
me of the exhaust of a bath-tub ; it could
be hoard all over the house. "
"When did Thompson kiss Mrs. Pyo ? "
"Whenever ho had a chance. The
only tlmo that ho did not kiss her was
when ho was not there. "
"Who did kiss her then ? "
"I did ; I liked her myself. "
"Did not Mr. Pyc object ? "
"Why should ho ? I don't object to his
kissing her : there was nothing objectionable -
able about It ; It was a mere friendly sal
utation. "
"How did you come to kiss Mrs. Pyo ? "
"I put my arms around her neck aud
kissed her in the usual way. "
"Did she ask you to do so ? "
"Well , 1 noticed that no matter how
hmny times she and Thompson kissed be
fore ho went out , she never got enough
to last until ho came back , for as he
opened the door they were at it again ; so ,
when ho was away , I kissed her moro as
n matter of accommodation than any
thing else. "
"Whore was Mr. Pjo ? "
"O , he was nowhere in particular. "
The Unsophisticated Farmer.
Mosior , " said Farmer Sllkons to his
eldest son , "hov yo In miud tcr plant
anything ou thet thor hillside jest be
yond the mcdderV"
"No. pap , there ain't nothing ' 11 grow
there. "
' 'Gosh almighty. There's pretty nigh
onto twenty acies thet yo can got nothfii'
onto bat rocks.an them wasallcrs there. "
"Wo might sell it. "
"Can't bo sold. Nobody won't have it
lo pay taxes on. Idon't sec but ono way. "
' 'What's ' "
that , pap ?
"We'll just have to have It surveyed
mto lots and start n town. I'll go and
BOO some o' them real estate agents and
TOU git a priutin' press aud niuk-o things
lively with n 10x23 nowspaporan' maybe
wo km git the dinged thing boomed up
to a payin * basis.'JJ _
The Teacher's Lot.
'Tls now the boy In school
Doth of hate the teacher's rule ,
And think of little else than outdoor fun ;
And there Is cause to fear ,
From all that ono can hear ,
Tne tcaciier's lot Is not a happy one.
When In the afternoon ,
The giddy circus tune
Is hoard , and all the scholars want to run ;
When calliope doth sound ,
And monkey go around , o
Tlio teacher's lot la not a happy onei
Wtion In n distant Hold
Boys see the batters wield
Their little bats and for the bases run ;
And when they fret and pout ,
And wish that school was out ,
Tne teacher's lot's a most unhappy one.
. And when they think how fine
"i'would bo with hook anil line ,
To sit and Mali beneath then leu warm sum ;
Full well do I know then ,
And say It now again ,
They make the teacher'g lot no happy one.
Vlyidly Itecnlllnfc the Incident.
Washington Critic : They wcro over in
the camp last evening , talking about
military matters , and war ana so on , and
the talk drifted around to personal brav
ery , and finally some one brought up the
Buoioct of presence of mind in danger.
"That reminds mo , " said the colonel ,
"of an accident that happened when I
vras but a lad. J was very fond of crows'
nesting. Ono day 1 discovered a nest in
the very top of a lofty bull-pine , fully
ono hundred feet high. Up I swarmed.
In tha nest wore four young crows and
onn OCR. it was the work of a minute to
wring the young crows' necks and throw
thorn out. Then placing the egg in my
mouth for convenience , commenced my
journey down. It seems but yesterday , "
said the colonel , softly. "I looked up ;
the beautiful blue sky was above mo and
the crows , whoso nest 1 had despoiled ,
were wheeling in short circles , uttering
angry cries. Suddenly , without an in
stant's warning , the limb on which I was
resting broke and I fell ninety feet from
the top ! I lived a hundred lives in that
ono moment ! " The colonel's volco
trembled , lie brushed his hand across
his eyes.
"What , you foil ninety feet , colonel ? "
exclaimed a young subaltern.
The colonel gazed nt him compas
sionately. "No , you young ignoramus.
I was ninety feet from the top when I
fell ; consequently I fell about ton feet.
Hut the jolt I got broke that egg. Dab I
1 can taste it yet. "
The colonel gazed around suggestively ,
and ho got something to take the taste
out of his mouth. Aud they all bad
Borne. _
The Judge Had It Planned.
Dakota Dell : "Jodgo , " said the fore
man of a Missouri jury , "tharis gotn'to
ue a hangin' down at Uazoo , day after
to-morrow. Wo 'lowed prob'bly yo'd
excuse us as wo want to ride down , of
course. "
"Sit down , " roared the judge.
"All right , judge , but there's coin1 to
be two niggers hung an' wo calkilated it
were customary to lot juries off such
days. "
"Wull , docrgono it all , " replied the
judge considerably disgusted , "Jos' keup
still and I'll 'tend to those things. I'm
goin' to adjourn court the day before an1
\vo'll all go down and camp out on tlm
grounds over night , Did you have an1
idea that I was goln' to miss n hangin1
myself ? "
You Uou't
The horse will neigh ,
The donkey brelgh ;
\Vhati 'or you dew
The cat will mew
Aud doj will haw his deign.
Washington Critic : Ella What arc
goose-ecus In a a base ball match ?
Charlie Why innings when no run :
nro made. Why doyou ask ?
Ella-Oh. nothing. I thought thcj
might bo laid by the fouls of the gauio
know , .
_
They AH Have It.
Boston Transcript : "I should .like tc
know"shld the belated suburban passen
ger lo the station agent , "why the 8:15 :
train Is late every morning. "
"Hecauso the Sraithvlllo way freight
gats in its way. "
"What makes the freight get in Its
way ? "
"The Intcr-stato commerce act"mildly
answered the station agent , as ho shut
down the window. "
"What did the club discuss this even
ing ? " asked the reporter of the secretary
of the Jute and Tallow club.
"Tho Intcr-stato commerce net , " re
plied the secretary , as ho hastily thrust
half a dozen cloves into his mouth. "We
resolved that the long haul clause should
bo shortened. Good night. "
"It's 1 o'clock , " sobbed poor little Mrs.
Fearsome , "and I've hoard mieor noises
round tlm house all night , and you at the
club all this time smuklng and drinking.
Oh , Charles I how could you leave mo all
aloni' , and the baby not well , cither ? "
" drinkin1 'r smokin'
"Not been , my
dear , " explained Mr. Fearsome , as ho
picked up the boot-jack to take oh" his
hat ; bceu 'scussin' in'er slitatu corn's
act. "
, An Accomplished Financier.
"I had a rather amusing experience of
an Irishman's idea of liuiince the other
day , " said.a pleasant-faced gentleman tea
a comrade on the cars this morning. "I
know him very well. Wo met on the
street yesterday and ho asked for the loan
of a quarter. I gave him one , and he
then invited me to take a drink. Each
drank whisky. Ho throw down the
quarter and received fivocontain change.
'Uogorra , ' said he , 'Iyantcd to got
.shaved and 1 hov only foive cints left.
. Lend mo another quarter , well yo ? ' 1
did so , and again he set 'cm up. .On re
ceiving the live cents this time his face
bloomed into a bouquet of smiles. 'Ah ! '
said he , 'I knew thcro was some way of
getting them tin cents. ' "
The Poker IMnycr's Hollloqny.
To bet or not to bet ? that is the question ;
Whether 'tis better on the draw to lay two
pair
Ana lose the per cent I see bctore me
Or to raise thu bet with a Koodly sum
And , by bluiliug , steal the pot ?
To bet , to bluff or more , and by standing pat
to win the not
Against thieo jacks the dealer dealt himself
From the bottom ; 'tis a confiscation
Devoutly to be wished. To bet , to bluff-
To bluff 1 perchance bo caught ; ay ! there's
the rub.
For If I do he's sure to go ono better :
And do not catch , maycall on three of a kind ,
Ho let mo pause ; there's the respect
That always make pat hands a source of
doubt.
For who would lay two pair , a four card flush ,
Or e'en ace hluh against a timid man's
Two-card draw , thieo Johns In hand , did ho
But know that standing pat would win the
pot
With a goutlo raise ? Who would lay his hand
To tumo and sweat when his opponent blutls ,
llut that the dread of something better.
An unexpected flush against whoso color
No two pair called was ever known to win ,
Makes him rather wish to hold the dust he
has
Than run against a hand he knows not of.
Thus , poker does make cowards of us all ,
For there the virtue of a modest full
KIsos far above three wanson bullets.
And four laughing twos beats any lull
That ever dared to lill. Hut to pass a bluff
And see a four-card Hush cast on the board
Doth stir the wrath of any pair of kings ,
In whoso proud faltli wo next tlmo call three
trays ,
And lose the cause of Ion.
lie Was Not a Masher'
Now York Mall and Express : Yester
day afternoon two ladies , who were pas
sengers OH a south-bound Broadway car ,
alighted in front of a big dry goods
store. Just after they loft , a go.ntlcm.cn
who had been seated next them noticed
a plethoric purse on the scat. He picked
it up , jumped from the car and hastened
after the ladies , who had disappeared
within the store. After a brief search
ho located the ladies at the silk counter.
Ho approached , and , raising his hat ,
said :
"Ladies , I was sitting next you in a
Broadway car "
"Sir , " exclaimed the youngest of the
adies , "what doyou mean by this im
pertinence ? "
'I did not mean to bn impertinent ;
only I thought you might like to
know"
'I would like to know nothing from
you , sir. If you address mo again I will
call the iloor walker and have you ar
rested. "
"All right , 1 found a purse nfior you
left the car , but if you don't want it I
don't care. "
The gentleman turned to walk away.
The lady felt in her pocket and a sudden
hango came ever her face.
"Oh , I have lost my purse. I am so
much obliged to you. I had nil the
money for my summer dresses in It. I
don't Know how to thank you enough. "
After she had identified the property
the gentleman returned it with a sardonic
smilo.
Qncor Names.
The following are the names of some
of the newspapers in Kansas : Carbondale
Astonishor and Paralyzor , Cash City
'Jashior , Clay Center Democrat and Lit-
.lo Hatchet. Colby ( Thomas county ) Cat ,
Coolldgo Border Rulllau. Eustls Dark
HorsoT'argo ; Springs Prairie Owl , Ford
Boomer , Garden City Irritator , Grain-
Held Cup Sheaf , Grooubunr Hustler ,
Grinnol Gold Belt , Kansas City Cyclone ,
Kincaid Kroniclo , Lake City ( Kas ) Pra
irie Dog , Larney Chronoscope , Leon
auill , McCuno llrick , Madison Zenith ,
organvillo Sunflower , Ravenna ( Kas. )
Sod House , Santu Fo Trail , Valley Falls
Lucifer , Wellington Morning Quid Nuiic ,
Wilson Wonder , Wooston Saw , Mullin-
ville Mallet , Now Klowa Herald-Ear ,
Pittsburg Smoltcr.
Court Proceedings.
Dakota Bell : A man was brought before -
fore a justice of the peace in a Iakola"no )
license" county charged with gelling
liquor. The shorUF who niado the arrest
brought along a largo demijohn of
whisky which ho had found on the prem
ises.
ises."Jes" Ipmmo eco that jug o' llckcr , "
said the judgo.
It was handed to him. ho pulled out
the cork , tilted it up and took a couple
of largo swallows. Then he turned to
the prosecuting attorney and said :
"Pretty goodstuff , hey. "
" 1 don't know anything about it. your
honor. "
"Try It then.try it gosh all hemlock !
this hain't no individual affair take a
good snort uv it. "
"Your honor. I never drink. "
"Don't drink , hey. I don't b'liovo
ye'vo ever been admitted to practice
then ! Hanged if 1 don't make yo show
up yor papers for it'foro another trial.
Well , here's lookln' at von ducks again. "
Then turning to the sheriff he added :
"That's the pure quill , aiu't it Ike ? "
" 'Pears to bo. " , . ,
"I 'lowed yo wouldn't bring it in
thout hittm' it. Want 'o irrigate again ? "
"Don't care if I do. "
The uomijohn was passed over to the
shcrifl and lie and the attornep for the
defense and the witnesses and the pris
oners all sampled it. After the judge
had taken another pull at it the attorney
for the defense arose and said :
"Your honor , it doesn't seem to mo
that any one can be convicted for selling
such good liquor as that. "
Tsh cussed if I don't b'llovo yo'sh Jos'
'bout right , cap.'n. Psh these fellers
shells poor stuff what wo'sh alter. "
"I think to. your honor. "
"Corsh. Prfshnor's d'shargcd. "
"Hold on , " said the prosecuting at
torney , "this isn't legal. ' '
"Shut up ! yo'sh lined $10 for con
tempt ! Shay , boys , It's thcsh drug store ?
we're after. They shells poor whisky.
This courts sthand * adjourned ! Iko , ye ,
Co and 'rest all the drug storh fellers In
thor whole town.tics' leave thish dcm1
John right 'ore with 'cr co'rt MI' it'll be
a' right l. "
WOMAN'S ' EXTENSIVE SPHERE
How the Women of To-day are Winning
Laureli for the Sex ,
ROOSEVELTONWESTEHN WOMEN
San Francisco Ulrls Ttaroo Kinds of
Lassies The Ones \TO Hculljr Love
The Dying Girl Women's
Cross ntul Crown.
The Dying Olrl.
Jhuuiah Mate Koluuu.
"O , Pilot , row mo o'er tlm tide. ,
'Tls not so deep nor near so wldo
As one would think from tills bleak shore ,
Please , pilot , kindly row me o'er I"
"And why that side , my llttlo miss ?
Is thIMC not joy enough on tliK. '
Stand back , my dear , stand back , I sav ,
Your rouo Is spattered o'er with spray I"
"Hut , pilot dear , do you not see
Tlio shadowy lorms that buckon mo ?
Tnelr gleaming robes aud eyes so bright ,
bhlne clear to me , though dim my sight ! "
"Hut waves boat high and waters chill ,
Your tender bieast with fear will lill ;
Hack to your llow'rs , po back , my sweet.
See the waves now crocplnir to your feotl"
"My flowers are gone transplanted there ,
For wind and waves naught do 1 care.
( ! oed pilot , toll mo what to say-
That you no longer will delay ?
"What will you have that 1 possess ?
A grateful smile , a irolden tress ,
My birds and books , my jewel ! " , too ?
Mo ? Not enough I What shall I no ?
"Ah , sir , your pardon iT6w 1 crave.
( Ho still , my heart , be stiong , bo bravo ) ,
It' you should wish your bride I'll be ,
If you will tuko mo o'or the seal"
The spectral bark was quickly manned
Away they How to th' shoreless land.
He'd waited but to hear her say
She'd be his bride to haste away.
He loves too well the young and fair.
Ho wrapped her form with tender care ;
Then wrapped her In a cold embrace ,
And vniiibhliM ho left no trace.
Woman's Sphoro.
That woman is extending her sphere of
action , if not of usefulness , no oue can
doubt. Susan Marian Saltor'mother ' of
four children , is a Kansas mayor , and
several women are serving in nor board
of alrtormen. A Now Hampshire police
justice has appointed a young woman as
clerk of hi.s court ; another is a niistico of
the peace in Wyoming ; moro than forty
women held ollico as legislative clerks
last winter ; a sturdy matron is pilot on a
Lake Champlaiu steamer , and it would
bo impossible to say how many thousands
are "boss" in their own households. It
looks , indeed , as if the coming woman
might be boss all around.
San Francisco Girls.
Oakland Tribune ; Thirty years ago
marriageable girls were as scarce in San
Francisco as white crows ; now the mar
ket is overstocked , and anxious mothers
watch with sinking hearts.vear after year
roll over their daughters' heads without
bringing the right man to the front. It
is not that our girls are less beautiful
than the rest of their sex. for in this they
excel. It is not a lack of sensibility , for
most San Francisco girls are as generous
and as amiable as can bo. No , it is their
utter usolcssness , love of dross , and
hatred and ignorancojof all that upper-
tains to domestic economy , which scares
the young man of the present day , and
the mothers are to blame.
Thron KinilH of Girls.
Catharine Cole in New Orleans Picay
une : I know the girl who is simply
pretty. Well , and is not that enough.
Once upon a time a distinguished New
Orleans beau was besieged by a fnir maid
and n homely maid , who pressed the
claims of intellect versus beauty. The
homely girl exclaimed : "O , you will
surely give your voteMr. D .in favor
of intellect ; beauty is only skin deep , 3'ou
know. " "Deep enough for me , my dear ;
deep enough for me , " answered the ir
repressible gallant. And so it is for most
of us. A pretty girl may drop her final
g's , not own an r in all her vocabulary ,
bo as vapid as a shallow little stream
purling down the hillside , with an
cnternal smile ou her red lips , a glint of
laughter in her young eye. She is pretty ,
and she knows it , and that is almost
enough. i5ut after a time there will como
n day when the girl who was only pretty
will stand by and look on at the triumphs
of the girl who was wise as well as
pretty ; who fitted her mind to accord
with the graces of its beautiful casket ,
Her few friends may bo faithful to her.
Her ono true lover may still bo fond of
her , for it is not easy to uproot love , but
their fondness is tempered with regret
and disappointment , and when the toft ,
eyes dim , and the round arms shrivel ,
and the satin chuuic is an etched picture
of lifo's vanity and time's failure , the
poor girl who was only pretty turns her
poor , scarred face to the wiill ; there Is
no welcome lamp of intelligence lighted
in the blue windows of her .soul dull ,
Inert , uncultivated. Skin-deep beauty
was not deep enough after all.
The gushing girl is a ninoteenlh cen
tury production. She gitrglcs from the
time she opens her eyes in tho.mornintt
until she says amen to the Lord'at night
and puts her Huffy little head ujion the
pillow. She says "thanks awfully" for
"I thank you. " She thinks the grand ,
lugubrious music of the "Stabat Slater"
"to sweet for anything , " A kitten with
its eyes as yet unopened , the Niagara
Falls and Mr. Gladstone alt are "just too
Utterly charming anil lovely lor any
earthly use. " Her adjectives are all in
the supcrlativo. She will gush over a
pumpkin , over her sister's now baby ,
over a doggerel rhyme , over everything
she sees , everything she hears , over
everybody she knows. If she is hero to
night she will say to mo as she docs of the
weather as she did ot her new bonnet-
that I am either "simply horrid. " But
then she is young she is impressionable.
She is full of .something which she thinks
is sentiment. Lot her hug her neighbors'
hablos and her brother's kittens , and ki&s
thn colllo puppy and adore the now min
ister. It is all gush. It Is tha innocent ,
light-hearted gush of a girl. Lot her
frolichomn youth have Its lllng. In a
little while she , too , will join the ranks
of the lookers-on , and will have her ( ling
at that sillv , giggling gusher , to whom
everything Is "sweet , ' "cute , " or "cun
ning , " or "just too awfully lovely. "
There is n girl , and I love to think on
her and talk ot her , who comes in late
when there is company , who wears ti
prcttv little air of mingled responsibility
and a'uxloty with her youth , whom the
others seem to depend on and look for
many comforts. She is the girl who
helps mother. In her own homo she is a
blessed little saint and comforter. She
takis unfinished tasks from the tired
stiff lingers that falter nt their work ; her
strong youth figure Is a staff upon which
the gray-haired.white faced mother leans
and is rested. She helps mother with the
spring sewing , with the week's mending
with a cheerful conversation and con
genial companionship that some girls do
not think worth while wasting on only
mother. And when there comes a day
that she must bend , as girls must often
bond , ever the old worn out body of
mother lying unhcudful in her coffin ,
rough hands folded , her long disquiet
merged in rest , something very sweet
will oo mingled with her loss , and the
girl who helped her mother will Hud a
benediction of peace upon her head and
in her heart.
The girl who works God bless her is
another girl whom I know. She is brave
and active. She is not too proud to earn
her own Hvlncr , nor ashamed to bo caught
At her daily task. 'She is studious aud
painstaking and na.tlont. She smllos nt
you from behind counter or desk. Tliorc
is n memory of her sown Into each silknn
gown. Slio Is like n beautiful young
mountaineer already far up the bill , tiud
thu sight of her should bo n flno inspira
tion for us all. It Is an honor to Know this
Uirl to bo worthy of her regard. Her
hand may bo stained with factory grease
or printer's ink , but It is an honest hand
and a helping hand. It stays misfortune
from many homes , it Is the one shield
that protects many a forlorn little family
fr < ? m the alms house and asylum brave ,
pollto , refined , ambitious ! thosouth is the
rightful homo of the girl who works Uod
bless her.
No Use for the Furniture.
A connlo that had made up their minds
to sail forth on the troublous waters of
the marital ocean , says the Philadelphia
Press , dropped in a well known store to
sclent the furniture necessary for the
comfortable equipment of their house
hold ark. Thu lady had evidently been
deluded into the idea that her prospective
follow voyager was possessed of some
means , therefore she was somewhat taken
aback when ho , after the work of se
lection hud been completed , turned to the
salesman and inquired as to how much
money was required to bo paid down
upon such a bill of goods and now favor
able their terms were in regard to
the payment of the remainder. The
lady was , for the moment , dumbfounded
at the revelation implied by her compan
ion's Interrogative , and without waiting
for the salesman's comprehensive eluci
dation of the linn's liberal provision for
such contingencies turned upon her
would-be lessor half , and , with a voice
that sent a chill into the marrow of his
bones , said : "Look hero , George , doyou
mean to say that you have not thu money
to pay for this furniture outright ? "
Oi'orge reluctantly admitted that his ex
chequer was not Biifllciently plethoric to
give such an extravagant manifestation
of exiromo wealth. "Then I guess you
had bnttcr wait awhile , for you will have
no immediate need of the furniture so far
as J am concerned , " and she waltzed out
of the store , leaving the crestfallen tar
get of her indignation to his own sad
thoughts and the consolatory olliccs of
the sympathetic salesman.
SELF-MADE WOMEN.
Liioy Larcom was a mill hand.
Adelaide Neilson began life as a child's
nurse.
Anna Dickinson began life as a school
teacher.
Charlotte Cushmau was the daughter of
poor people.
Sarah Uernlimdt was a dressmaker's p-
pruntlce ; so was Matilda Heron.
Miss Dradrton. the novelist , was a utility
actress In the English provinces.
Christine Nillson was a poor Swedish peas
ant , and ran barefoot In childhood.
Jenny Lmlalso ! a Swedewas the daughter
of a principal of a young ladles' boarding
school.
Adelaide Phllllpps , the singer , now dead ,
was a very poor girl , and so was Sarah Jew-
ett , the actress.
The most renowned woman who sprang
from the lowliest estate was Jeanne d'Arc ,
who fed swine.
Nell Uwynn sold oranges In the streets and
theater , iroin the pit , while vtimliug her
wares , she took a tiuicy to the stage.
Pretty M.tudo Grander , with the gold-
brown eyes and shandy form , first earned
her livelihood by running a sewing machine.
Mrs. Langtry Is tlio daughter of a country
parson of small means , but the old proverb
of her face being her foi tune proved'true In
her case.
Edmonlo Lewis , the wrestler , Is colored.
Overcoming the prejudices against her sus
and color , and self-educated , Miss Lewis Is
now successfully pursuing her profession In
Italy.
The mother of Clara Louise KoIIogg
strained even- nerve to give Clara a musical
education , and nt one time was aiaofcs-
slonal spiritual medium. Miss Kellogg tailed
three times.
Mlnnio ilatik's father was a Gorman and a
shoemaker. In the most straightened circum
stances. Her volio early attracted the atten
tion of ono of Xew.York's iidlest men , who
had it cultivated , < , <
Mlsi Maria Mitchell , the astronomer , wns
the daughter of n suu > II farmer in Nantucket ,
who was oblhrodpto eke out his Income oy
teaching school at & a week. Maria was
constantly occuplnl with household duties.
The great French actress , Hachcl , had as
hard a childhood as evbr fell to the lot of a
genius. Hagged , ban'foot. ' and hungry , she
played the tambourine In the streets , and
sanir and begged loraulole. Naturally she ,
was Illiterate and-vulgar.
HONEY FOR XIIK LADIES.
i _
Soinn women gild tboir linger nails.
Scarfs and necktie's of metal are a new
German invention.
Eleven wealthy.-Now 1'ork widows will
summer In Europe.
Swiss belts of jet are to be much worn with
white summer gowns.
Old oliif ) and Charlc * X pink are charm
ingly combined in the now ginghams.
A sreat many brides ore- willing to soil
duplicate lish-knlvoa and berry-spoons "sec
end hand. "
Miss Kato Field will celebrate the Fourth
by sailing out at the Golden Gate on that day
for Alaska.
Many American Indies are unable to lind
icnily made shots In London small enough
to lit them ,
A bonnet has been Invented made entirely
of ribbon , which : U the theater may bo taien
nit and put In the pocket without injuring
Foulard li the favorite material for sum
mer use. Tncre are a number of fnullnrd
Iresses in all the latest Parisian bridal trous
seaus.
Mrs.U.S. Grant has repurchased ono of the
houses in Washington which shii transferred
toV. . II. VanderLnlt at the time ol the Grant
\Vaid lailuie.
A woman milliner who would work
around In families could earn so good a liv
ing that It N strange no enterprising womau
has ever thought of trying It.
Mrs. I ) . G. Croly has accepted the Invita
tion of thu Women's Press association , of
Uoston , to glvo her paper ou "Thlity Years
In Journalism" at Its reception , June IS.
Little rough straw hats are being Imported
troin Franco for wear at the sea bhoro ,
trimmed with Madras handkerchiefs tied In
number ot uynght loops. Those are called
la Cieolc.
"What makes that girl walk so funny ? "
asked Ie Smith ot liruwno. "Is she Intoxi-
catod'.1'1 "Oh , no ; she's not Intoxicated , " re
sponded Jirowne. "It's only her shoes that
iiro tight. "
Thesonlorclassof the Wesleyan Female
college of Macon , Georgia , has decided to ac
cept Piosldent Cleveland's Invitation to visit
Washington this summer as the guests oC
himself and wife.
Women who are past their girlhood will bo
clad to know that girls are hopelessly out of
fashion nowadays and that twenty-seven 13
the proper age. The consequence is a whole
army ot twenty-so\en-year-oUls.
Some Illinois girls tried to seu who could
walk thu farthest on thu rails of a railroad
\\lthout falling off , and three of thu ciowd
wcut through a cattle guard In a heap and
tell upon n tramp and killed him.
Mrs. Jennnss Miller , the dress reformer of
Washington , delivered an address before the
students of Vnssar college the other day mid
the girls aneed to wear a costume without
corsets , to bo designed by Mrs. Miller.
Mrs. Jenness Miller , tho.dress reformer of
Washington , delivered an address before the
students of Yassarcollvgo the otherd.uvnnd
the gills agreed to wear a costume without
corsets , to bo designed by Mrs. Miller. _ _ _
An Austrian physician savs that nine
times out of ten heddachocan bo almost In-
htantly cured by swallowlnz a spoonful of
salt dissolved In n rruantlty ot water sum-
cient to enable the * ult'yrer to drink It.
Hero is a new Held for women. One of the
Paris journals , devoted to woman's ruhts ,
wants the position of moat Inspector at the
French capital clven to.women. \ \ hy would
they not make excellent market ofucialsV
A llurllngton mad recently had to pay 520
for klssuiira strange womau In a railway
station. However , .when a Vermont man
gets away from hoino ne is bound to have n
good time , no mutter whit the expense
may be. i
A New York jury hai Just awarded Mary
MaUd Watson a pne-flfth interest In the
estate of the late millionaire , John Auderr
GREAT REDUCTIONS
AT ? THE
New York & Omaha Clothing Co
Wo dcilrclo cnll upcelnl nticnllon to our great reduction oiiSuainicr Suits which we cnn prom *
Ise arc , at their present prices , the cheapest good * in the market. Our 8 < l , $ N , 91O anil $19 Mill * ,
we now Nell for1 , $5 , G and $7- Also a splendid line of all wool CiiMlniero and WorMcd Suits
that weru selling for 91:1r : O , $15 , SIS and 82O , arc now nclllni ; at $10 , Slil.rtO and $15. Our line
ofMiiiiiaicr Coats and Veal * hut been replenished , and now we van again allow the largest assort
ment of these { 'oiuN , In Flannel , Serge , Seersucker , and all manner of Summer Goods and put-
tern * . Have yon seen our 73c Underwear ? If not , come and sec the MIMIC < imilily of goods you
have heen paying gl.ilft and 1.50 lor. In the Children'and Hoys' department wo have had the
Knife at work , and now we * how our enormous line nt extremely low price * . Think ! A. good
Milt Tor $1.50 , $1.75 and $ ii. Our entire line of 90 and $7.SO suits have been reduced to $1 and
$4.5O. Straw Hats at-lOc , 50o and 75e. Grey Still Hals at$1.5O , 2 and $ .5O , and for other
styles Just look at our hat show In the window and you will see the cheapest line you have over
had the good fortune to look upon.
Do not forget that each purchaser of goods to the amount of $2,5O will receive a ticket on the
Pony and Cart , which is to bo given away on the < lth of July.
THE NEW YORK * OMAHA CLOTHING CO
isos
son , valued at § 18,000,000. It Is safe to say
that Mary Maud Watson can't see any flies
on the jury bystem.
For wear with the pretty printed cotton
dresses In the country are largo sun uni-
bicllaspt.printed cotton , with pastorals aud
landscapes upon thorn. They nro urctty and
di'llcJously'qualnt. Tlio handles are of light-
colored wood with big crooks or hoops at the
end.
end.Tho
The council of the university of Melbourne
has decided by a largo majority to admit
women as students ot mcdlrluo. The med
ical journals , as a rule , oppose the pinctlce
of tlio co-education of men and women med
ical students , while fully indorsing the
principle.
Brown and white wool dresses will bo
much worn tills season. The skirt Is white ,
braided with brown. The full drapery Is
brown , as Is the basque , which has a white
waistcoat braided with brown. A white fiat
trimmed with a number of brown spairowp
completes the toilet.
A pretty summer cown Is in forget-me-not
blue lawn , with tiny red dots. It has a
shoulder-cape , with lone ends ot blue velvet
of a darker shade. The hat Is a rough
white straw , the tnrned-up brim being lined
with China crape. It has a hi ; bunch ot
I'orgct-mu-nots and grasses high up in trout.
American voung ladles should .steadily de
cline to marry princesses. The sweet young
wlto of the crown prince of Prussia's son
stands In such aue of her cold-blooded hus
band that she dare not order even a now bon
net. Lives there the American prince with
soul so dead who would not deck his prin
cess' head ?
Another new fashion In Philadelphia Is
the "engagcmontdinner , " at which the father
or nearest male relative ot the lady usually
makes the announcement at the closoof the
dinner , and a pretty practice sometimes In
dulged is for thu guests to pick up a flower
and throw It at the fiancee , who Is thus met
with a lose shower from all sides of the table.
On this occasion , reports an observer , "tho
brUleeroom-elect often kisses his mother-In-
law-elect , aud the father of tlio benedict In
turn kissesIho fiancee "
Sham jowt'lry may bo worn for a variety of
reasons. If It is to irlvo the Impiesslon of
wealth which the wearer does not possess ,
then the practice is wrong , llut if the profes
sion or career of a husband requires that his
wlte should go much Into society on a small
income , slio would he perfectly justified In
wearing Imitations to save money. A.smart
and diessy appearauco demands the use of
many little knick-knacks and etceteras , the
fashion of which is constantly changing.
For Instance at present gold jewelry Is obso
lete tor evening wear , and as < \ ladv scorn
fully remaikcd to a poor relation : "You can
wear nothing but diamonds. " Under these
circumstances It cannot be wrong for a lady ,
who cannot attord to buy diamonds and has
not Inherited any.to wear a moderate amount
of paste. She should not , however , try to
pass her ornaments off as diamonds , nor
speak of her "jewels" with an air of Import
ance which would lead people to infer that
she had any of value.
MUSICAL A.NU DRAMATIC.
Frederick Wardo is acting In Portland ,
Oie. , this week.
Edwin Uooth Is visiting Mr. Lawrence
Bairett at Colmssct , Mass.
Miss Annlo PIxIuy will spend the summer
at tier country homo In Canada.
Mr. Imro Klralfy has begun his prepara
tions for the production at Nlblo's of the
spectacular play called "Le Hosbu , " which
made a wonderlul run at the Porte St. Mar
tin in Paris.
The new opera house at Odessa , whfn com
pleted will be ono of the grandest in Kurope.
It will probably bo opened under tlio manage
ment of Mr. Maplesou In the autumn. It has
been erected at a cost of 81,000,000.
Tlio'occan ' circuit , which Includes the thea
tres at Long Branch , Asbury Park and lied
Hank , will Inaugurate a season of summer
theatricals , bediming with "Tho Private
Secretary" on Wednesday next. Many ot
the best companies will bo seen at the seaside
during the summer under the management
of MauUeachy i\c \ Comstock.
Jerome Havel , the onlv surviving member
of the taraous Kavel family , celebrates the
fiftieth anniversary of his marriage , June X ,
at his homo In the couth of France. On the
same dav Mr. Imro Kiralty wlllglV3 n dinner
In New York In honor or the veteran panto-
mlnist , to which members of the press and
other trlonds will bo invited. A special wire
will connect the two dining rooms , and mes-
savPS will bo passed between Messrs. lUvel
and Imro Kiralty.
Grand German opera is estimated by the
size of the audiences It draws as ruthlessly
as the veilest spectacle In the country. 11.
1C. Kioblul , musical critic of the New York
Tribune , has compllrd a table showing the
number of porformanoos of each opera last
season and the avuiagc receipts Irom It.
"Fldullo" leads the list. It was sung three
times to average houses of 31,077. ' 'Trlstran
and Isolde , " which was hrst sung In New
York last winter , makes a close second" , with
night performances at an average of S-I.O-'U.
The sixty-one performances brought In
§ 20:1,000. : but they cost S'JiKJ.OUO besides SIM-
000 of lixcd charges on the bulldluu' , and the
stockholders had to bo assessed S'J.&ut ) each
to make up the deficit of 175,000. This
delk'k piled up in splto of the fact that the
sixty-olio audiences averased 2,003 people
each , and that thc average price of a tlcktst
was S1.50. The Now York public will have
th bust opera or nothing , but when It gets
the best It pays the piper without grumbling.
The AnuTican prlma donnas are having
things all tholr own way In London now.
Thov aio as popular and fashionable as
American beauties. Tho'.Iast one that has
como Into prominence combines both attrac
tions. Miss Amelia Louise droll is an ex
quisitely pretty blonde , and is only twenty-
three yean of ago. She has been encaged by
Carl Itosa to sing In London during the jubi
lee. She was born In Ohio , and wont to the
Cincinnati college of mule when she was
seventeen , Hetore gho was twenty she had
won every honor the college had to give and
exhausted Its capability ot teaching her. bho
then traveled a short while with an opera
company In the west , and later went to 1'arls
and studied at the conservatoire , supporting
liersrlf meanwhile by slnzlng In the hngllah
church there. She then had engagements In
Vienna and Derlln , which gave her both
money and fame , and sang In the last carni
val In Homo under the management of.an -
fandl. Kosa Is colng to take her on a tour
throuzh south America as soon as she has
completed her London engagement. Her
pictures.already tor sale in Uiu London shops ,
show her as of a soft , round , Infantile sort ot
beauty , with a skin ot dazzling fairness
In lits inside pocket , and tic wan strolling down HMi street , with a
young lady by his side. From appearances you would judaa it was
love at first sight. She was smiling , but he seemed worried , a ho want
ed to go to housekeeping , and tiis money only amounted to $ lffwltcn he
noticed the People' Installment House , (113 North JGth street , between
California and Webster streets , and there bought sufficient goods to
start housekeeping with , by maklny a first yajtmcnt. Tliankiny the
firm for the gentlemanly way in tvhich they were received , and they
are now at home and happy. '
Rosenthal & Co. , Props.
No connection with any other Jionse in the city.
mil & YOUNG
Farnam Street.
FURNITURE ,
STCXVIEIS J
House Furnishing Goods.
A. T. KENYON. H. M. JONES. S. M. JONES
A , T , KENYOB & CO , ,
Wholesale and Ketail
eis and Stationers
1522 Douglas St. ,
OMAHA , - - NEBRASKA.
Telephone 501. Corresponflonce Solicited.
. RILEY & McMAHON ,
REAL ESTATE , 310 South isth Stree
Some Bargains in West End on Dodge , Farnam , 80th and COth sts. This prop
erty U very choice.
100x124 } Euclid Avenue and 31st. A beautiful home site.
10 fine lots in Briggi Place.
133 feet Cleveland Place , $1,600.
2 nice acres in West Omaha , suitable for platting.
C6.\140 S. 16th , nice grade , $ S4 per toot. 66 ft. trackage on Le.ivenworth. IDS ft.
trackage on Nicholas street.
TR/.DI HIM.
lera Morbus , Colds , Sere Throat nml Icings ;
We publish the fo !
the highest
. have kept a supply of lUllrnad Kcmedy on haiv )
'MI'KTHOOOKSUn ! nN b.
M/ y
Knerffin
jl In my family. . „ , . , . frnm nheiimalUm' could not walk ; all medicine MM to rtlie c my iuffir. .
lnMW"ltr"d KAU IIOAU UKMKU "nTwu"cnm I t inei 30 ( K.und !
r ifce I left my bid. binccrcly 'Truly jouri uondc-rlul , are the eBecUof ll.lt . " [ f,1' , ' Jj * 1 g ; o , , , , MU.lon I Kamu.
Orer 2,000 to t eiuwcurBil Fortnlc by alimst chusidrutfitlstg. Trade tupplloabf UloU-
rJsoa lriiK Company , Oauuia. .