1,1 ( , THE OMAHA DAILY BEE- SUNDAY MAY 22. 188T.-TWELVE PAGES. II I JlfMES'S ' GENTLE POWERS , fat Partdtse Marriage Bightly Undentooi Yields the Tender and the Good , LOVE UNDER THE CRESCENT Harrying for Money Mutrlmonin Uccnjr DaclcflBtneulMWedding Notices Marrying a Con- toiinrlan Cupid's Washes. Feminine Phllosopy. Hari > cr'Jutnrt Could 1 hut pierce that dark , rnygtcrioua cui tain That veils thu future from my eager eyes , And know beyond a doubt I stood a certali Chance to get a matrimonial prize. Then might I scorn thin bold plebeian crc : ture Who with bad grammar comes a-wooln me , AV'ho looks so "shoppy" In his evcrv featan And tnlksot lard enthusiastically. I'm thirty , BO I can't afford to shako htm , Lc.st of a hustund I mitflit bo bereft. Ile'u homely , but i guess I'll have to tak him ; It's better , after all than getting left. Marrying For Money. Philadelphia Record : For lovers , wh love because they love , this paper is nr written. They are what they are. The do not reason and cannot bp reasonc vrlth. Their passion is a blind fore which attracts them together as Saturn' ' moons are attracted to Saturn by an o < cult and Invisible compulsion which ca neither bo seen'nor felt , nor tasted.no described. They arc n thoruo for peel nnd dreamers , and not for commonsct Bible , work-a-day people like the write mid thu reader. Have done with them. But there are people who get marrle ns they join the church , or choose a v < cation , or enter upon a hazardous undo takjng. They look around them and c : nmino into thu condition of holy wcdloc > as it is among their acquaintance [ friends and kinfolk. Having "cut the : eve teeth , " they brush the bloom froi the cheek of the peach before they 01 fit , because they know the bloom la bitte ; For good people of this strain a prolii able word may bo said about marryin for money. WHO MAY TAKE MONEY INTO ACCOUNT 1 have often thought that the circun stances under which a man or a woma might justifiably marry for mouev coul readily bo tabulated. If , for instanci there should bo a rich roan who had r moral or physical defect to make an all nnco with him repulsive , his weall would bo a proper inducement to nr woman of the following list to whom t might oiler his hand : A woman older than himself and di D'liidont. A widow with children to care for. A widow witli no one to care for her. An invalid maid or matron. An accomplished poor girl. A beauty. An equal in wealth and position. 80 , also , throwing love out of tnc quc tion , but insisting upon regard , respc and eood character , a rich young worn : might properly marry A man of equal or larger fortune. A poor man of talent. A clover artistor mechanic , or far me or preacher , or soldier. Any man the weight of whoso intell gonco.or capacity of one sort or anothc would bo a balance for the weight of dc lars brought him by his wife. BOMETUINO TO BALANCE THE MONEY. Throwing out of consideration the ph nica ! conditions which are nccessa under all circumstance to the marrn state , if money bo an inducement t man who marries for money should able to bring some sot-olF to make tl match an even one. It is the more iicce Bary for the reason that the man is tl proposing party. The married woim would bo an angel indeed who. havii put her fat purse la the hand of a po husband , would not upon some of t emergent occasions of married life tau him with "tho odd shilling. " On thu contrary , the rich husband w marries a wife of slender fortune Is I own ohoasor. However much he m rue his bargain ho cannot reproach I holpmuto Tor self-imposed couditioi Having made his bed ho must He in it. his wife bo accomplished or beautiful s may fairly claim that the dowry s brings her husband is something betl than gold can buy. A DISTINCTION WITH A DIFFERENCE. Marrylna for money in some oases altogether advisable , if the opportun ! offer. It is not a merely sordid view the married relation to take care at t outstartof assured bread and butt Thorn may , indeed , be some doubt of t propriety of bringing a brood of childr into the world for the world to care ft The philosophy of Tennyson's Yorksh farmer in his advice to his son Samrn.i lo nt thou marry for munny , 11 ut goa whur uiunny is is full of the wisdom of this world. ) advise as m < xny of the Tommys and f sans as possible nnt to marry for mon > but to go where money is and take t chances. If money can bo found in i hands of a fairly good man , or toleral girl , or a beaming and buxom widow.a thu inoumbriinces bo not greater th the inducements , marriageable bed 1 should not lot an opportunity that offi slip from their grasp. Money not 01 makes the muro go ; but it buys oats : the mare so she can go. ( Oil COMMON-SENSE PEOPLE ONLY. Sentimentalists who ore disposed find fault with these worldly wise woi may rest their criticism. Loyers w have from time to tirno Immomoi rustled blindly into matrimony , rega less of the fact that love and squalid p erty are incomparable , will continue rush. The more far-seeing and bet balanced ones will weigh the pros n cons and marry according to their iu mont , if they marry at all , and no man woman will marry for money because our advice unless they got the char Nevertheless , "goin * wheer munny is1 not the greatest vice for which mod boclety is accountable. ' Matrimonial Decoy Dncki. Some months ago , writes a Paris e respondent , a couple of adventure ; were arrested for having worked a n riraonial agency , which was in reality effective machinery for decoying men the look-out for rich wives. The dut after having been relieved of a rot sum of money , wore married to a sh heiress and then sent about their bi new. rho principals of the agency w a bogus Baroness de Mortior , alias Uochollo , and her attendant cavalle swindler named Lecourtols. These t succeeded in quitting the country , i the Paris Correctional Tribunal , wh has just disposed of the matter , had cordtngly to deal with the sham hen and a Mine. Leprout , both of whom I boon conducting a tolerably prosper matrimonial business on their own count after their principals had 1-ranco for reasons known to the pol ThoUupo was introduced , after hav answered the questions.to a good-look young female of presumable Ani American origin , whoso nanitucce ing to the police reports is L , 'I ho part of the maternal rclai was generally played by M Ixiprout , while thu man Lecour acted as the paternal or avuncular i lector of the heiress. Mile. Leal , i was the chief criminal arrested , said I the had come to Paris from Engl about three years ago , nnd subaequoi accepted an offer to act as Do Mortl decoy duck. . The first witness for prosecution who was called was the 1 shopman from , Limoges , a . .M.Lefc He caw an ndrertbeaont that an Englls heiress , having about 00.000 to her foi tune , biA slightly damaged , was in th market. Ho Immediately rushcil to Pan with all the money ho could collect , wi introduced to the divlno Leal , > pcn nearly 200 in decorating that pcorlej beauty with jewels and gold , and wcr with her to London. Ho passed a happ honeymoon In thu British capital , visitln the Alhambra and other places of cnte : taiuuiont , and living with his bride an her mother in. the best hotel After that ho returned to Parl whither ho had summoned h friends from Limoges , who soon li formed him of the painful fnct th ; ho had boon duped. M. 1'Absolu , Parisian barber , paid 0 to be introduce to tlio daughter of a Spanish general i her box at the opera. The. scnorit : however , professed that she foun M. 1'Absolu dollcicnt in educational a lainmcnts , so ho was left to the tcnde mercies of n Marseilles maiden wh lloccod him of 10. A stockbroker wli had been bamboo/.lcil mailo a dcsporal dash after tlio dowry which had bee promised to him. Ho married Leal i London at a registrar's office , and ci tercd at oncu into iitianolal matters , li soon found out , howovnr , that after ha' spent his money , hn had been fooled 1 the top of his bent. A country gcntl man from Touraino had not only lo money on Leal , for whom ho hired a be nt the opera , but had long kept her su | plied with game from his preserve This extraordinary trial terminated I the condemnation of Leal to tour month imprisonment. Leprout was aoqulttei while Lecourtois and the sham baronei wore condemned by default. Singular Wedding Notices. New York Telegram : A curious fe : turo of the raarriago announcements ' thu last century was the details they en braced respecting the dowry and pc sonal charms of the bride. Our forefatt crs do not appear to have been backwai at making known the fortunes they hn obtained with their wives. Matters th wo should regard as belonging to on selves , or at the most to our intima friends , were given to the world wii trumpet-like sound. Ono can hard pick up a magazine or newspaper of ti period without iinding wedding nolle similar to the following , which is draw from the Gentleman's Magazine of 178 "Married , the Kev.Mr.Hogcr Waina , < York , about twenty-six years of age. a Lincolnshire lady , upward of eight with whom ho is to have 8,0K ( ) in mono 330 per annum and a coach and fet during lito only. " How long this u equal pair enjoyed uiatrimouial bliss am not in a position to state. Ho ce latnly got a good fortune with his dam but ono is disposed lo think that a link at the price is not to bo envied when ; many lovely women are prepared to gr heart and hand to worthy men and iu poetry to the prose of life. In the same periodical of March , 17 we read : "John Perry , Esq. , of Carmarthe shiro. married a daughter of Walt Lloyd , Esq. , member of that county ; a fortune of 8,000. " Another announcement of tlio sat month and year , in the same magazlc says : r'The Earl of Antrim , of Ireland , Miss Betty Pennefoathor , a clobrat beauty and toast of that kingdom. " It may bo inferred , as a fortune is n mentioned , the noble earl prefern beauty to money , and that the charms Miss Pcnnefeattier made amends for tl lank of gojd. The Leeds Intelligencer for July 3,171 stated : "On Thursday last was married t > \ Worraald of this town , merchant , to M : Rebecca Thompson , daughter of the Ir Thompson , Esq. , of Stamcliflo ha near Batley , an agremiblo young la with a fortune of upwards of1,001) ) . " In the same journal of September following appears an announcement , under : "Yesterday morning was married t Uov. Mr. Wilson , vicar at Otloy , lo Mi Nancy Furness , of the same place , a me agreeable young lady , endowed with i the qualiGcatlons necessary to make t marriage stale nappy. " Respecting wedding dowries , it is ss that about tlio year 1770 a tradesman w residing in London who had disposed eleven daughters in marriage , and as fortune for each ho had given thi .weight In halt-pence. It is suggested tl they were rather bulky , as the lightest them weighed 50 10s. 8d. Toward the close of the century the f nouuccmunts of marriages were son what toned down , as the following , cull from the newspapers shows. Ono dat January 5,1789 , states : "Sunday so'nnight , at St. Aulkmai church , Shrewsbury , A. Holheckc , Es of Slowlny Hill , near Uoleshill , in t county , to Mrs. Ashny , of Shrewsbury very agreeable lady.with a good lo uno. " In the paper dated for January 2,17 we read : "Yesterday , at St. Martin's chun William Lucus , esq. , of Holywell , Northamptonshire , to Miss Lcsrgo , 01 daughter of the late Mr. Francis Leg ; builder , of this townan ; agreeable you lady with n handsome fortuno. " On the 29th October , 1798. wo find ° ccount of tlio marriage of "an agr able lady with a genteel fortuno. " A in April , 1783 , we find it stated that I marriage of Mr. George Domsthorpo the agreeable Mrs. Mary Barker tc place there is not any mention of mon It is said that the following , ono of ' latest instances of this kind of annoum rnent , appeared in Aris1 Birmingham ( zetto for July 14 , 1800. It records ! marriage of the Right Hon. Mr. < - ' ning , under secretary of state , to M Scott , sister of the Marchioness of Tit Hold , "with 100.000 fortune. " iiove Under tbe Crescent. Cosmopolitan : Turkish girls i promised usually when they are \ - young , even at a tender age , when tl are only two or three years old. If young bride happens to die before 1 marriage , or bo required for the sulta harem for it may bo promised that t is a case that breaks nil engagemoi and is esteemed as a great honor by p ents the intended husband is not rooted to weep over what ho loses , for has never seen it. When the young { reaches her twelfth or thirteenth year , i somewhat later , her fourteenth year , i receives the nuptial blessing , and husband cannot see the face of his v , until after that ceremony. No worn not even the wife , takes part in solemnity or marriage , which is cfleo i by proxy , delegated to nn uncle or to . older brother , often with a full boa , who plays the role of the bride. 1 parents of the couple sign the contr before the Imaum of their quarter , in presence of a few friends , who act witnesses. The nuptials are then ci brato j by the families with a calmn and gravity that weuld bo as suitable n funeral as for a wedding. CONNUniALITlES. Deacon Jacob Estoy and his wife of I tlctinro , Vt. , recently celebrated the lift annlvursary of their marriage. It U related that a Chicago woman ' liMllin-f ) husbands , nil of whom aha dl'piiiliarrasspd herself of. Is wntlnc a b on "liow to Make Homo Happy. " "Why Is It , " said a husband to his 3 "thnt married womun , as a rule , are B . terrible goslucrs ? " "Hccause tliuv ttml 8 s BttiMitlve listeners In their ! iusbands"ret > the lady , easily. "Suppose after I am dead , " remarked I J nckson to tier husband , "would you Ilk have me come back to you In your drean " ) V ll-er , " replied Mr. Jackson , cv stv "I'll think U over. " Miss Nannie Hill , of Harraan , 0. , Is ni . to Imitate ourSllss VanZandtby marn eV. . 8. Uvelle , who was recently arrested convicted for putipipatlon In tbe opted 1 Haadle robberies la nil celt In tbe Plttsbargl jail , Tfaos Allen , the young man of New Haven Conn. , who spoiled a wedding Saturday b ] not appearing at the church to take Ills ulaci as the groom , says he was not oven engaeec to the clrl nnd knew nothing ot tho-weditlni except that ho had been Invited. , . Years ago Squire Hnhrlam SumneK an eli settler ot Kocfcford , III. , it U calu , s\vai across the Pecatonica rlvor In cold wcathe and walked In bis wet clothes four mtlcs t marry a young couplo. All the fee ho go was 50 cents , and when ho had kissed th bride and said , "God bless you. my chll dren , " ho tructcd back to sec the Pccatonlc with hU 00 cents in his pocket aud swam th stream a.aln to get home. Reports connect Charles Moth , the big Oei man Unuco-ltoman wrestler , \vlio was at on time quite K factor among members of th sporting fraternity In Minneapolis with thrilling romance1 , In which tlio other pait lian ticln'ss , the daughter of a banker , vision of loveliness , tall , Uncly formed , wit clear complexion , larcc , lustrous eyes , wealth of blonde hair and only olghtpe years of asc. This bright vision Is Mis Stella Wllcosr. and she and the brawn Herculean Teuton met at the Y. M. 0. f rooms In Kansas City. Hoth were allk smitten on sight , but It cost Moth seven dnys of walknc ! the streets nnd one doll ; paid to a coachman be-fore there was chauco for Acquaintance. This dinicul point passed , a secret niarrlauo followc which Is said to have occurred last Movcn bor. Lately a Knowledge of the mnrrlae has leaked out , and rolatlves are moving t have the marriage anuullcd. Western Financial Centers. Iron Ago : Hand m hand with th rapid development of our natural r < ourcos which has characterized tin ast quarter of a century , the accumuh on of capital hay steadily proceeded 'ho seaboard cities were the first to res lie benefit of this movement towar nancial independence , which has no won checked by panic or depression tfew York especially bucamo a coiUor c .etiyity for every branch of commcrcia ntcrprlso , and national legislation a ; istcd that city to secure ani iiaintam linnncial supremacy. Undo recent aut of congress , how eve ho other largo cities of the country hav > ecn given an opportunity to dcvelo icir advantages as financial center Jities having at least 200,000 inhabitan re now permitted to become "contra cserro" cities on the petition of three ourths of the national banks locate herein. The national banks of sue itio3 are required to keep a reserve of' or cent , but they are enabled to rccoiv deposits from the banks of smallc ities and rural districts , While tt lanks of the central reserve cities los dvantagcs in being compelled to kco heir reserve at home , and therefore di irivo themselves of the chauco to sen inch funds to other parts of the countr and probably secure a high rate of intei ist , on the other hand , such large aeces ions to their banking capital will be n ceived that they will be able to conduct much more profitable business gcneralli St. Louis made apulication some tim igo to bo put in the central reserve clas and now Chicago has taken the ncccssar tops. The action of these two grer western cities is of much importance i the linancial world. It means that here after more capital will be available i ho west for business purposes. It Iu already been announced that applici tions have been received from thu banl of the following cities for permission I deposit in Chicago as a central reserv city : Milwaukee. Louisville. Clovclam Pittsburg , Cincinnati and New Orloau riiis embraces a largo territory , much < which has hitherto made New Yorks I central reserve city. Numerous countr banks will do the same thlug. Son prestige may bo lost by No\ York in th transferof capital , but "tho country wi probably bo bunolltted by the dlvisioi Chicago now contains eighteen nation banks , which had on March 4 a tolal ci dilation of only $707,000 , but they had ii dividual deposits amounting to ovi § 41,000,000 , and country bank doposi amounting to $ ap,000,000 more. Oi bank alone In Chicago carries a line < deposits exceeding $ ' 40,000,000 , being su passed m that respect by one Now Yor bank. Paste This In Your Bible. Books of the Old Testament , 89. Chapters in the Old Testament , 929. Verses in the Old Testament , 23,241. Words in the Old Testament , 592,430. Letters in the Old Testament , 2 , 728,10 BOOKS in the New Testament , 27. Chapters in the New Testament , 2GO. Verses in the Now Testament , 7.059. Worels in the Now Testament , 181,2,1 Letters in the Now Testament , 838,36 , The Apocrypha has chapters , 183. The Apocrypha has verses , 7,081. The Apocrypha lias words , 11)3,165. The middle chapter and the shortest the bible is Psalm cxvii. The middle verse is the 8th of Psal cxvii. The word "and" occurs in the Old Tc lament 35,543 times. The word "Jehovah" occurs 0,0 times. The word "and" ocours in the Nc Testament 10,001 times. The iiddlo book of the Old Tcstamo is Proverbs. The middle chapter of the Old Test mont Is Job 29. The middle verso of the Old Tcstamo is 2 Chronicles , 22d chaplor , 17th vorso. The shortest verso in the Old Test mont is 1 Chronicles , 1st chapter ? 5 verso. Thh longest verso in the Old Test mont is Esther , 8th chaplor , Djh verso. The middle book of the Now Test mont is 2 Thessalonians. The middle chapters of the New Test mont are Romans 13th and 14th. The middle verso of the New Tesl mont is Acts , 17th chapter and 17 verso. The shortest verse in the New Tesl mont is John , llth chapter , 33th verse. Borne Alien 1/anctlorils. Albany Courier : Another immcn body of land has been bought in t south by foreign capitalists for spocu ! tion. An estimate of the amotfnt of lai held by aliens In largo bodies was ma not long since and thu following list pi pared : A't English syndicate In Texas. . . . J,000 , ( Holland Land Co. . New Mexico . 4.500 f Sir Kd Kued , syndicate in Florida. . S,00u. ( Kngllsli syndicate In Mississippi . 1,800 , ( Marquis of Tweedalu . 1,7.V ) ( 1'hllllps , Marshall & Co. . London. . . 1SOO , ( Cerman syndicate . 1,100,1 - , syndicate , London. . . . 7 , ( Uyron It. Evans , London . 700 , < Dukoof Sutherland . 4tt ! , < Dritlsh Land Co. in Kansas . 20 < W. Wharley. M. P. . 1'eturboro . S10 , ( Missouri Land Co. , Scotland . S00 , ( Cobort Tenant , of London . . . . . 5.TO , < Dundee Land Co. , Scotland . 2 7 , ( J ord Uunmnre . 1-0 , ( Ilcniaiuen Neiuzas , Liverpool . I0o , ( Lord lloughtoii in Florida . C0 , ( Lord Dunraven In Colorado . fio.i English Land Co. , Florida . M , < Kntrllsh Land Co..Arkansas . 60 , ( A. Peel , M.P. . Leicestershire , F.ng. , 10 , ( Sir. I. L. Kav , Yorkshire , Kng . s , ( Alexander Grant. London. Kan. . . S5 , ( r.ngllsh syndicate. WlHoonsln . llo , ( M. Kllprhauser.West Vwinla . 600 , < A Scotch syndicate In Florida . 500,1 A Scotch syndicate In Florida . 600.1 A , Uoysfln , Uanlsti consul , Mil . Missouri Land Co. , Edlnburg . Total Imperfect digestion nnd asslmll tion produce disordered conditions the system which grow and are c < lirmed by neglect. Dr. J. H. McLoai ( strengthening Cordial and Blood Pu Her , by IU tonic properties , cures indig tion and gives tone to thu stomach , fl per bottlo. BUDS PIPED BIWimMEl " c e Leadville Bates iHer Honored Eons AbeT tko Bard of Avon. i _ WHY UNCllE MOSE GREW FLESH' English ns Reported Puti nutl Cnll Realizing i'rohlbUlon-llc Drew the Line UitiK'a Touching SOUR i'unny A Postlinriionq Poem bv Poo. Every public journal tlmt nniouuts to nnj thing Is in the Imbit ovcry jcnr or of tent of brlntrln ont a pustlmmous poem by K < l par A. Too , Tlil-Ults eloos not wish to bo b < hind In any such enterprise , and I * wlllin if called upon to miku : nniilnvlt thnt tlio slit joined poem Is.fust . ns conulno R postliumou poem of Ednar A. I'oo as Is published by nu other papur : lu a dark , and Mibtcrrnncous opaque , punt tusinnirorlc.il. Deep , cavernous recess of gloom thcro sits midnight uraclo ; N'o lietul In hrll can stilko a knell , or wcnv n spull can hold you so. 'As his dread name , His ghoulish name , hi demon name 1. Toldycrsol O , drcnd , demoniac , inaticn , and Hhadamai tlilnn oracle , Is thy Plutonian robes of nlht thy slngl pralsa rhetorical From the abyss , where demons hiss no phras like tills , can hold ymt so , Like thy black nnmo , Tartarean name , th uaiuuof llame 1. ToUlyerso 1 In sulphurous catacombs of ploom , In vapoi lie weaves his plmstly scoptro round thl JUmdnmnnthlne oracle ; No demon tone , no ghoulish groan , was eve known to hold you seAs As his dread name , I'lutonlc name , his imin of shauio 1. Toldyorso 1 Enjllnh as Slio Is Ucportoel. The Buffalo Exnress lias collected tli following perns m > m "copy" furnislio by some of its country correspondents- None of us nmkc expenses at our ctti tomnry avocations. Com wentlior don't mnko any difi'ui once in the receipts. Yachting talk is becoming an intcros ing object of discussion. lie has built nil those hero and seven of the ones in other towns. The Jones trial which is now bcin tried was tried yesterday. It goes on tc morrow. The lire laddies will cxcurt to the Fallen on Friday. The .younger element of society wcr present to the extent of some eighty , an enjoyed itself hugely. Trio surprise came upon him wholl unexpected. The elegant list of presents was the distributed. It is hoped our Indies will recover fror their insomnia in thin direction. ( Speak ing of a dull socilil season. ) oocietyand , indeed iUc whole place , ha boon gay with d.xbitciuimt. The surfa/jo " , of affairs was dcepl stirred. , / ' A line syslom < of sewerage is in vogue A thick scum would settle on top th water. j licr Invitation. , i } Life. In the parlonthor were slttln ? , Sitting byitheitireliht's clew Quickly wore the ! minutes flitting , Till at last he lose to go. With tils overcoat nho puttered , From her eye escapptl a tear "Must you go so soon ? " she muttered : "Won't jou stay to breakfast , ele.vr ? ' ' i j * PutB nud Calls. "Papa , " observed little Johnny Ora ; "what does this mean in the paper. ? " "What is it , my son ? " "Why what do 'puts' and.'call . mean1 ' "They mean , " said the old man , wh had taken several flyers , "thuy moa that a man goes down to Wall street an puts bomu money into the hands of broker. " "Well , but what do 'calls' mean ? " "Oh , they moan , my son , that when 1 calls for it no don't get it. " , Ho Fully Itralizert Prohibition- Wall Street News : "Does prohibitio prohibit ? " ho demanded ns he glare around ; "Is there a city or town in nn prohibition state whore you can't buy glass of whisky ? " "I've been in a hundred towns where couldn't , " answered a tall , lean tram on the outskirts of the groop. " couldn't sir ? " "Why you why , "Because I didn't have a nickel. " One day the ( Jrand Old Man of Hawarden Went out to foil trees In his ganvarucu ; Ho tired a bis chip ' ( ialnst achtiicti warwardnn's lip , And said most polltuly , "Beg parwardeu. " The Mule lirow the Line. Philadelphia Press : Down in Kentucfc the other day n runaway mule daslu into a house where a rcd-ncadcd girl wi playing "Sweet Violets" on a cottat organ and kicked tlio instrument ini such little fragments that they had to I removed with a patent carpet sivcope Yet people will probably continue to p right on making faces at destiny just : though there were no limits to patient even m a mule. Why Uncle MOBPS Got Pat. Texas Sittings : The Rev. Whangdood Baxter recently met one of the ma ! members of his Hock , and at once a dressed him. "Why , Mosc. " ho said , "how stoi yusogittin'l Yusogitlin1 mighty fat in jcorpulont in mighty line order , I tel yer. Dar's nultiii' lean about you , fizz cally , but spiritually yuse thinner dan rail. You ( loan1 lean on the Lord cnuff , "I kin 'splain all dat ar , " said Mose. "How docs yor 'splain it , Moso ? " "I did loan on de Lord an' ebbory Sui day I listened to yer proachln' , an' 1 gi as poah as Job's turkey. " "But how does yer 'splain it ? Ho does yer count for do transformation ? " "W hy , doan1 yor see ? "You fitrnisln do 'liglon an1 I _ does my own fattcnin' The Fishing Benson. Oh. brine me f bcAtle of. bait , my dear , And bung me am > lo and line , And brlnj ; mo a book of Munch.uison's talc And bring me a , spring day tine , Then brln : mo a drop of water , my dear , Knougli to till a small dlsli ; That's all the rest the papers will tell- How I caught RjwhoppinK big tislil Bhnkcsprnro Modernized. What piecfj-work is a man I There is no'virttio ' like audacity , Lend every" ' man thine ear but fo thine umbrella. ( Small cheer , and great wealth , make merry feast. 'Tis the tlmo's blague when the optlo ists load the blind. I see , the jewel , best enamelledv lose his beauty ; for ho is snide. Though authority bo a stubborn ber yet he is oft led by tho-noso with boodl Some grief shows much of love ; b much of grief shows Btill some want style. ! _ "Western Literary Note * . Chicago News : Wo acknowledge tl receipt of a handsome volume entltl "Tho Trunk Tragedy , A Complete II tory of the Murder of Prollor and t Trial of Maxwell. " The author is no other thun Judge K. A. Norman , of I Louis , a real estate and house rentu ' and Htoratcur of marked abllii The book is strongly written and a nu bor of stirdug illustrations by .local i tlsts giro the work * peculiar yaluo. Uoundin paper , with a full page Illus tration of the unfortunate victim on the cover , for the reasonable price of 2C cents , this chef d'ccurro should find its way Into every homo. ' 1 ho Swine Breeder's Stud book for 1SS7 , is at hand , and brings its usual amount , of valuable information. Not an unimportant feature of this volume- the portrait of the magnificent barrow , "Cnoster White Ktng'r which took the ilrst premium at the Kewnuco fair lasi fall. During the baseball tourney between Chlcmro and St. Loui * wo are 'issuing ex tra editions of tlio Dally News containing .such excellent reports of the all-import nnt contest as to excite the warmest ad miration in leading circles. Squire Enos Hapgood , who expired bj a vicious mulj's kick on tha west side last Monday , was one of the most promi nent patrons of literature in tlio west. Before her death , his wife had been n ' ' Book for subscriber to CJodoy's Lady's twenty odd vcars. Captain Bun Wingate has named hts new barge the Felicia llemans , and the saaic departed for Saginaw last evening for a cargo of slungloj. Colonel T. Wcston Brlggs , the well known real estate rgont , oilers his mag- nilice-nt private library lor sale at $4 pet front foot. Among the articles of virtue recently purchased by our esteemed fellow towns' man , Mr. Townley J. Morris , is one ol the lirst Knglisn translations of Vigil 'f /Knoid. This translation was made , we understand , under the personal super vision of the eminent pool himself. There is a current rumor that Judge Thomas M.Cooloy , chajunanof the inter state Comus commission , has written t poem entitled "Trunk Lines ton Railroad System. " No Installment Plan For Him. Pcoria Tran crint : "Do you love me , Jane , well enough to marry mu ? " asked a young Peorian of a Monson streol maiden. "Well , I don't know , John. When 1 first cot acquainted with you I alvnosl hated you. Then I got so 1 could beai you. Finally 1 liked you a little. If we marry 1 may in time come to love yet with all my heart. " "No , thank you1 said John , reaching for his hat , "I don't boliovu I care aboui marrying on the installment plan. " And ho tied into the darkness , leavinj behind him a victim with a broken hear and a patent bustle. It is little thing : like this that loadB us to denounce th < mercenary character of the ago wo liv in. Awns' . Chicago llaald. First bo sure you're In the right In wliat'or you wish to do. Even though you have to fight All tlio world to push it through : Then bang away. . Lot no f col Ing of dismay Overpower > our single aim , Lest the world may truly say To success you liavo no claim : So bang away. Fate disdains a coward heart , Ko do you , I darn to say ; Let that never be jour part ; Whether work or whether play : Han z away. "Put Mo In. " Ex-Senator Tabor of Colorado , thi millionaire mino-ownor , has just built i now opera house in Lcadville , meant li bo liner than the one in Denver. . A fev days ago Tabor employed an artist ti fresco the walls. While ho was at work 01 a portrait of Shakspcaro Tabor enterce the building and asked who it was tin artist was painting. "Shakspoare , " wa the reply. "Who is ho ? " "The greates dramatist , poet. etc. . that has over lived. ' "Kver done anything for Leadvillo1 "No , I think not , " replied the nrtisl sadly. "Then paint him right out ani put me in. " Anxious to Tell Him. Put a telephone Into my office , quick , Pray don't put it off or bo slow , I've just found the commonest liar in town And I'm anxious to tell him so. U | > In Oregon. A young farmer in Oregon , of scholar ! ' tastes , determined to go east to got tin cd ucation. Ho resolved to cuter the Hai vard law school. Ho was speaking o this one day to a minister , wiio cndcav orod to dissuade him by saying : "M ; boy , the Apostle Paul has taught us tha in whatsoever st-ito wo are , we shoul therewith bo content. " "I know that sir , " replied the youth respectfully , "bu if the Apostle Paul had lived in the stat of Oregon , he wouldn't have lived up t the principles as Jong as 1 have. " Recalled a Touching Sonjr. "The bald heads , resembling billian balls one sees in the front seats at ai opera bonlTo entertainment always make me feel sad , " remarked Jinks. "Why so ? " asked Dinks. "Thoy bring to memory a touchini song. " "What song ? " "Why , carrom mo back to old Vir ginny. " For Strains , Sprains and Bruises. TOIIN TEEMER , Champion Oarsman * * of America. " I lmo found fct. Jacobs Oil of Inestim able tuluc. " ' MR. J. C. COPELAND , Editor Austra lian ( V'VI. Sydney , N. H. W. " My.tricj rle Journey of 1200 miles would nut Imve been completed without t. Jacobs , Oil. " MR. WM. BEACH. World's Champion Oartnmn , Kuynl Hotel , Hyde. "St. Jacobs Oil cures stilTiiUM. cramps and inuiiulur palus lu training , " _ CAPT. PAUL BOYTON , the world- renowned Swimmer , " I do not too hi w I could get along with out St. Jacobs Oil. " MR. JOHN IIOLFE , Champion Bicy- clW , 81 Liverpool St , Sydney , N. 8. W. "After riding l , m mild iiBttfiisttlmi.Pt. Jacob * Oil reiuincd all fatigue and ralu. " MH. E. F. PAINTER , London Ath letic Club. " St. Jacob Oil cured mo of a sprained tcnduu. " J DWAHD IIANL AN , Champion Oare- "For muscular i > ahu I.bavo found St. Jacobs Oil imaluablu. " ALL BASE BALL CLUBS , Indlvld- unlly find collectively : Uao Kt. Jacob * Oil for upruliu , strains and bruises. _ _ _ ALL ASSOCIATIONS of Field Sport * . Turf , Wiiter nnd lloiid , utts St. Jacobs Oil for ti > rjlU4 , ttraliu uud bruises. Kvrry application gives relief j every bottle rout us ft cure ; every Imttly tested ns lo uuul- Ity ; uvery ni'iuilno bottle U-nn the llrm's file- simile kftfiiature : every homo In America knows iu > value ; every spnlen language knows Itsii i.o ; every Journal | irnl es U ; every dealer knowulUinerltaj every tlu'inlktllndsIt i crfect. Sold by DriiL-gUts and Dmler. . I'licu llfly wilts per bottle. The Cuarle * A. Vcgelcr Co. , lUltltnorf. Md. PILEOftLT RHEUM end all akin disease * . A new method of com poundine Tar. A Cure ( ruaruntcod , or mono ] fefumlod. Bold ur drucnltti , and nt thn oUlcoo TAR-OID CO.,7) likteinitt , CMICAM. ATTENTION DEALERS And Listen to the Song of thi Chief. Wo wish to call your attention to the Minnesota Chief Tlircslilu ? Machine for the season of 18B7. Wo take pleasure iu introducing to our customers , the best Separator In the market , being perfect In every detail. Wo spare neither pains nor expense to make Til K "CHIEF" TIIK loitditiff machine In tlio market , and have added , therefore , To the sepcrntor alone , which makes it beyond doubt , the most perfect ma chine offered to the trade for the year 18U7. It threshes everything a farmer can raise wheat , oats , rye , barley , flax , timothy , millet , clover , and peas , requiring no change of parts , except con caves and sieves. Why does it do all this ? Because it is neither a VIBRA TOR nor an APRON machine , but surpasses either in all the essential re quirements of a perfect thresher. We call your attention with pride to the "Chief's" Oyliiidar , Side-gear , Elevator , Straw Stacker , Shoe Separating Tablet Hagcr Attachments , Wagon Loading Elevator , style of frame , finish of ma chine and above nil to its simplicity of construction. We also wish to call your attention to our and also the "PITTS IMPROVED. Tlireo stvles of powers , all of them first class. Some prefer one kind , some another. We also state without fear of contradiction ; that we manufacture the belt STRAW BURNING ENGINES now iu the market. Our Giant and Traction engines have no peers. One of the chief merits of steam power is to have an engine wulch steams easily , with little orjno trouble. Our engines cannot be beaten in this respect. For further particulars , address , Receiver of the Northwestern M'fTfi : and Car Co. , Btillwatcr , Minn , and 0. P. McKKSSON , General Agent , Council Bluffs , Iowa. TfeK MML Is produced from twelve pow- BdUICf\V RAIL-ROAD REIYltDY er&\ \ vegetable Ingredients , Q the medical world. results known to wonderful Ihc mosl manhnilated to produce as nain and serenes * relief from everv IU action is both sure and speedy , giving instant lo which flesh Is heir. A positive cure for Croup , Cittarrll , lera Morbus , Colds , Sore Throat and Lungs ; KIIKUM ATIBH AMD NEC _ . Earache , mo Bock o Toothache , Headache , Inthclrworst forms ; Bruises , Burns , Scalds , Corns. Chilblains ami Side Snralus , Cute , of teslimo- ' kemedy but what hundreds - this Frost Bites. 'We make no claim for . We the following : established. publish T character liave nlals of U highest hin E.P. UOGOKM , Secretary of Stale , ays : "I have kept ampply onUllroid Konedy on for use Hon in ray family. 1 JounJ it all you rcrircscnlcd , and cheerfully jCtgl < J ; 5i5"Ln.on , | ( Ncb. flSSS i B 'Ovor 8,000 109 cases curia. For inle by nl llliet oil > driiKK'sts. ' Tiat * supplied by Rich- orilson DiUKComi an ) , Gmuliu. MILL & YOUNG 1213 Farnam Street. FURNITURE , O . House Furnishing Goods. ! " WATGHSPRING With eliding Detachable Springs , car Better tbau Whalebone or HoruJ 9 and guaranteed sieve ? to break. Price , $ i.as For sale by leading wholesale aod teUU caUb- lubmcots. M AVER , tTROUSE AGO. 412Broadway , N. Y. , Manufacturers. f BJi A K4 l ' MEDICAIC SURGICAL INSTITUTE Cor. 1 3th ST. and CAPITOL AYE. , OMAHA , NEB. Best facilities , opi.nratus and remcdlci for BUCCCM. JullrlroHtlng oil kinds of rocdlrn. and turglcalcatcf WRITE ronC'iucuninoii Deformities ted Ilractt , Club Feet , Curvatiiro of ho Hplnc , Dlscuei of Wo men , I'ilcD , Tumors , Cnnci-rs , Catarrh , UroncUltUj , I'aralyoh , Epilepsy , Kidney , llladder. Eye , Ktt Sltln ami niooil , and all huruJfnl Operation ! . PRIVATE CIRCULAR TO MEN On Private , Special and Ncrvmia Dlicatei , Sum Inal\Veakncu.b | > cruialorrhiraImpoteucrB/ | , OonorrUtra. Gleet. Varlcocelc. Henlfo.urlnarj Ur ! S..5J'y ' RellabloMEDIOAI. INt of tue nbor STITUTE making a specialty * named ill wuct. iicw UeitoratlvcTrcatmeni for Lees ofVital Tower. All CONTAUIOU * and BLOOD DIAEASBS from what. rvcr cause produced , siiccciirullr treated without icrcnry. Mrdlcluca or InitriimenU ent by mill , cxr > ri > < , rtcurely packed from observation. Olll and consult s , or rend Mtlory of case , with cii > . All cnmnnnlratlons strlctlr confidential. ifll UnAMCl'nrUJo of patients. Hoard nnd alien * UU nUUBO anceeatoiialiki. . AddrtM all Utter * mm MKDIGMi & KUReiGAt. INSTITUTE , flor.lSthSU * dnlk > l AvtU QmAJMJffffcW.