V ) THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY , MARCH 6 , ISST.-TWELVE PAGES.
SENTIMENTS OF SUNSHINE ,
Conno anil Konsenso Otrofnlly Mixed up in
Humor's ' Mortar ,
SOME SMILE-STARTING SCRIBES
Bin Covcrlnc Clinrlty" I'roclama
tlon or Onion Hill Hi-other Pen
stock SltH Down The Mlstlcil
Man and Other '
"Pastoral Pootrv. "
A minister may love his wife ,
From every 111 protect her ;
But lo\o her ns lu ; max * , alas ,
At last he's only Hector.
ToleUo American.
And thouch she may fjulte rapid bo
No rnce-liorho going faster ,
Shi'MI lind , however wild and free ,
TUat ho Is alwajs Pastor.
Itaihvay Journal.
They studied grammar In the school
Together , out In Carson ,
And'atter they were both made ono
She found him still a Parson.
Ynnktoii Statesman.
And If she wanders from the fold
.So far she breaks the record ,
Of course.ho'll pull her golden lleecc ,
The gentle , lovln * Shepherd.
Dulutli I'arugraphcr.
And though ho boasts ho feels as j oung
As when ho lirst beheld her ,
Ills congregation nil assort
That ho Is yet the chlur.
Philadelphia Ilecord.
"Onion Hill. "
There Is someth'np ; decided. F unique in
the civili/atiou of Idaho. In the classic
town known as Beef Gap a gentleman
conimonly called "Onion Hill" was re
cently oloctnd marshal , whcreunon ho
became "Chief Birdcll. " On assuming
the responsibility of his position , ho is-
Biicd a circular , from which we cull a few
choice items :
On and aftur this date there will bo lu this
town :
No more compelling ucoplo to drink when
f Lev don't led like it.
.No more shooting on" plug hats.
No moro dilnklng of whisky out of bottles
when the bars are open.
.No moro noisy deviltry.
Any man riding or driving a horse Into a
public bar will tin shot.
Any man raking down the pot at poker
without the cards to back U upill bo snot
dead.
It Is the determination of the now admlnls-
traton to usher In an oia of reform , and all
jtooa cltl/ons will nrrav themselves on the
hide of the law. All others will bo turned
over to the coroner.
The comparative ethics which the
chief insists upon arc striking. The man
who drives a horse into a bar-room will
simply bo shot ; but the wretch who rakes
down the pot under unfair circumstances
will not only bo shot , but bhot dead. Beef
Gap has found a master at last.
A Great Principle Involved.
' 'What , Reginald , will you let a trifle
separate us ? "
' 'It's no trillo. Dorothy ; a great princi
ple is involved.1
"How can a high hat be called a prin
ciple ? "
"if you persist in cutting oft" your
neighbor's view , isn't that a moral act
T" ntul a grave oftenso ? "
"You forget that the man who sat be
hind mo was blind. "
"That makes no difTorcuco.y ill you
take tno or keep your hat ? Choose ! "
"Woll , I'll take you aud kcop the hat
to hold your theater cloves. "
The \ \ ay It Struck Him.
I went to a fair.
There sconu-d everything there ,
From a mammoth piano to a row of small
ji ins ,
Ana tbl.s sign I road-
It was tacked overhead
i 'Charity ' covers a multitude of sins. "
When the maids did advance ,
Saying "Please take a chance , "
With species of lotteries' vast rarities ,
I tnoiiKht that the sign.
Should bo changed to the line :
"Sin covers a multitude of charities. "
lirudder Penstock Hat Down.
Detroit Free Tress : The city clerk of
Mobile made inquiry by letter if Rev.
Penstock had been absent from Detroit
for the lost few weeks. An individual
claiming to bo that person had been
working Mobile for contributions to
found a chair of astronomy in connec
tion with the liime Kiln club. He was
remarked as the homeliest colored man
over seen south of Mason and Dixon's
lino. The secretary had scarcely finish
ed reading the communication when
Brudder Penstock sprang up , waved his
arms wildly about and gasped out :
"I move dat dis club ollor fi reward of
f 5,000 for do arrest of dat base impos
tor. "
"Brtiddor Penstock , bo calm , " replied
the president.
. "Hut my reputation ar' at stake. "
s "Not at all. The seckotary will reply
, - to that letter nn' oll'or the usual reward
of | 25. "
" 1 move to make it $3,000 , " shouted
Penstock.
"I shall rule do mosliun out of order ,
ah. "
"Den I shall resign. "
' Bruddcr Penstock , if you would re
sign dis club would hov to hide its crief
ns well ns possible , an' continor us work.
While wo all luv an' admire you , wo
doan iigure dat you am a f 3,000 mulatto.
De reward of $ > 5 has been do highest
Bum oflbrod in any case an'it will hov to
kivor yours. "
Penstock sat down with n dull thud ,
breaking four ribs of Samuel Shin's now
umbrella and after hearing the janitor's
monthly report the meeting adjourned.
Ijot 'Kr Go.
Fittsburg Press : A Sowickloy juvenile
of six summers is physically in about
the same condition as Johnny. Ho joined
the ABU class a few days ago , and when
lie came homo the iirst day his mamma
nskod him : "Woll , dear ; what did you
learn to-day ? " "Oh , I learned lota ; i
learned thrco letters , mammal" "la
that so ? such a smart little boy ! What
are they , dearie ? " "Let 'cr rip , lot 'or
llickor , and lot 'or go Uallaghorl" That
boy needs a now suit of clotbor and a wig.
Rprlnu Pootry.
THE ItUSTIC ANANIAS.
When days of sunshine come between
The February blizzards keen
With promises of spring to mock us ,
The rustic Ananias lulls
Tliat he. while toamlne through the dolls ,
Or woods , lias seen an early crocus.
ANOTIIErt DISCOVEIIY.
lie Is the self made man who roves
In early March through Icatless groves ,
Wlilln overhead the stoua cloud hovers ,
And all the ground with snow Is white ,
And , to Ills unalloyed delight.
The trailing arbutus discovers.
A Wo in an'a Way.
Detroit Free Press : An ajront with
threa or four rugs in a strap called at a
hout * on National avenue and rung the
bell without arousing anybody , when a
woman called to him from across the
street :
"No use ringing there. "
"Lady cone ? "
"Thoy ore too poor to buy ruga. "
Ho was about to pass on , when a chain
bor window was raised , and a woman
stuak her head out and said ;
"I'll show'em whether we arc or not !
I think a carpenter's wife is just as good
nia drayman's wife , and has just as
much money for flue things. Which is
your bcbtrugl"
"This ono , ma'ara-forfS. "
"Hang it on the fence where every
body can BOO it. Now take this (30 bill
and call at all the houses around here and
Mk for change. You won't ' get it , but
I'll have the right amount to hand you
when you come back ,
The Itox mid the Ilnllct.
ll'iuMni/lon Crltle.
There's a lady In one Of the boxes ,
Shu's dressed In a manner au fait ,
Which thoio who are posted on lashlon ,
Denominate decollete.
Thfre's another one Ihcio In the ballet ,
Wio ! cattltu Is qultocommo II faut ,
] ! o\crsliu' the cut of the otliur ,
It's decollete down below.
If you take the two dresses presented
And combine them ; when jou are done
You will Mini that the now combination
Will rcitilt In your having but one.
Now what shall v n say of the puzzle ?
Ono garment , with women Ior two ,
And both of them dressed In I he fashion
\Ve don't understand It. Do you' , '
lie U'IIH Mlslod.
San Francisco Chronicle : The pictur
esque is always a feature of a woman's
description of anything , She talks
grandiloquently of colors , and if you
hear her describe a tablecloth you fancy
it's a gorgeous thing of tapestry or tome
equally clli'ctivo picture.
"My wife , " says tlio husband to the
man in the store , "has scut me for some
thing she looked at yesterday. "
"Yes. "
"This is the description of It , " and ho
pulls out a niece of paper which has in it
a full description of an elaborate pattern
of myriads of colors , and all in nomen
clature that sounds like some claborato
picture. "You'll excuse mo , I can't remember -
member the blamed thing. "
"That's all right. 1 know what she
means. "
"You'll please wrap it up very care
fully , for if it irots spoiled before it gets
there sho'll bo mad. '
"Certainly. "
Then the man goes to the shelf and
pulls out roughly a piece of something.
"Hold on , " says the husband , "that
can't bo the thing. Tliat'd chintz , or
damask or something , ain't ' itr" !
"This is the article , .sir. "
"What does it cost ? "
"Forty cents a yard. "
"Great Scott ! Forty cents a yard I I
thought from the description it would
come to about $ 100. "
A Miracle.
" What wuxdo tox' ' dis mornin' , Mis-
Johnson ? I was too late. "
"It was about the miracles. Brother
Snow. War do Lord fed .seven pcoplo
on live t'ousand baskets of lish.1'
"I don't see any miracle about dat. "
"Oh , dc miracle am , doy all didn't
bust. "
An Honest Man.
Texas Sittings : "Have you got a copy
of'Milton's Paradise Lost ? ' " asked Gil-
hooly of Ilosttcter McGinnis , ono of the
Austin aristocrats.
' ( What in the world is that ? " replied
McGinnis.
"It's a book , " replied Gilhooly.
"No. sir , I have not got sucli "a book.
Whenever I lind anything that is lost I
return it to the owner. When did Mr.
Milton lose his book ? What reward is
ho ollering for its return ? "
Little Bits of Wit.
If any animal on tlio farm earns his
annual sty-ponncd it must bo the hog.
An unsteady man , like au unsteady
light , is apt to go out nights.
There was a young lady named Ilimhua
Who never was known toroluzhes
To go out at night ,
On a young man's Invlght ,
To take one of a couple of htughes.
It is never too Into to mend ; but a man
need not expect to have a button sewed
on much after midnight.
There is a merchant in this city who
has an admirable sense of the eternal fit
ness of things. Ho provides his collector
with a dun-colored horse.
"Dear , dear , how fashions do alter , to
bo sure , " remarked Mrs. Peachblossonr
"I see that steerage rates arc cut lower. "
The Horror of the Catacombs.
From London Society : Most people
have heard of the catacombs of Paris ,
but few have visited thorn , or are aware
of the vast extent. They wore originally
stone quarries ; the material tisoin build
ing the cathedral of Norto Darao , the
hotel Cluny , the older portion of the
Tuilieries and many other of the public
ediiiccs of Paris having beun derived
from this source. So extensive were
their ramifications that of Paris within
the walla more than a tenth part is said
to have been honeycombed in this man
ner. It was not till within the last 100
years that the quarries have served the
purpose or received the name of cata
combs.
Many Parisian churches and cemeteries
have transferred the remains ot their
dead to the keeping of the catacombs.
These uio now under the care of a regu
lar corps of workmen , who attend to tlio
arrangement of the bones , kcop the gal
leries in order , and are constantly on the
watch against subsidences of cartii , which
would otherwise bo of frequent occur
rence. The galleries have been carefully
surveyed and their course compared with
that of the supcrjaccnt thoroughfares.
Indicating tablets are put up at frequent
intervals , so that a skilled person can at
any moment name the street , and oven
the number ol the house. , which is above
his head. Without such knowledge , or a
competent guido , however , woo betide
the ill-fated wretch who should venture
to explore those grim recesses. Benp.ith
the Rue do 1'Abbo do 1'Eppo , just outside
the Ossuairo , or catacomb proper , is
seen a tomb in the angle of a wall ,
to which a terrible tradition at
taches. Hero lies Philibcrt Aspairt ,
formerly porter of the military hos
pital of Val do Grace. The hospital lies
above a portion of tlio catacombs , and
from if descends ono of thcDsovonty stair
cases of which wo have spoken. In an
evil hour the ill-fated porter took it into
his head to make a voyage of discovery
in the catacombs. On November ! l , 170T ; ,
ho descended the winding stair. Lantern
in hand ho entered that awful labyrinth ,
and ho never came back. How long ho
lived , or how ho died ; how long his feeble
lantern kept alight , or for how many
hours or days he may have wandered in
darkness , ore death put an end to his
sufferings urn among fho secrets of the
catacombs. For eleven years hia fate
was not even known , but on April 30 ,
1804 , some workmen treading in course
of their of the less-used
duty some - pas
sages , cumo upon a human skeleton.
Flesh and clothing Had alike crumbled
into dust , but the buttons of the coat ro-
maincd , and by tlieso and the bunch of
keys that lay beside tlio corpse , it was
identified beyond doubt ns that of thu un
fortunate Philibcrt Aspairt.
Married.
Bonkolman , ( Nob. ) Pioneer : Last Fri
day in Detroit , Mich. , at the residence of
the bride's aunt , Mrs. A. S. Barnes , Mr.
Kd F. Burton , of Benkelman , Neb. , and
Miss Adah Pease of Detroit , Mich. , wore
united in marriage. The wedding was a
quiet ono , only a very few intimate
triondt being present. Mr. and Mrs. Bur
ton came in Monday night , und will hereafter -
after reside m Bonkolman. The Pioneer
wishes thorn all the happiness and pros
perity imaginable and their friends wish
them the same ana hope they may llvo
long and happily.
nigh Llconae in Detroit.
In 1885 thn city of Detroit had 1,200
saloons within her limits , and collected
nothing from them , because there was a
prohibitory law aeainst them. In 1880
gbo had 1,000 saloons and collected
f 189,000 from them under a high license
law.
HOME AND HOUSEKEEPING.
Practical Suggestions Gathered from Varied
Experience and Ob3cmtion.
HEALTH , HAPPINESS , HARMONY.
"Sweet Conipanionnnlp or Ijlfo" How-
to Given Dinner Nervous Folk
Musty ItooniH General
llcnrtliatono Hints.
AVhnt IH Homo ?
Oh ! what Is homo ? thnt s\\cct companionship
Otllto.tlio better part ;
The happy smile of welcome on the lip
upsiirlngliiK from thu hu.irt.
It Is thu cacor clasp of kindly hands ,
Tim lone remunibett'd tone ,
the rcaily sympathy which tindci stands
All fueling by Us own.
The rosy rheok of llttloohllaron prcs&cd
To ours In loving Klea ;
The piesoncu of our doaicst and our best.
.No matter where we be.
And , falling this , a nilnco may homeless llvo
Though ) > alaco walls are nljli ;
And , having It , a desert shore may give
The joy \\ealth cannot buy.
Far reaching as the earth's remotest span ,
Widespread as ocean foam.
One thought l.s sacicd In the In east ol man-
it Is the thought ot home.
That little woid his human fate shall bind
With destinies abo\e ,
For there the home nf his Immortal mind
Is In God's wider low.
Put Yourself In Her 1'lacc.
Ilurpor'a Bazar : There o\ists in every
household a short and easy method of
testing the comparative nervousness of _
tins se.xes. Take the very sweetest and
most domestic of men , thu most homo-
loving ntul equable , and see if ho can
have paticmuo with the children , day in
and day out , us can 11 wife much less
rifted ny nature with thnso line qualities.
The children may bo _ the hwootest over
born , and yet each will bo pretty sure to
pass through stages in us development
when its cross-questionings , Us needless
resistings , its chronic deafiipssfs. its
endless "What ? " and "Why ? " and
"Whom did you say ? " will turnish
grounds of practice for saintsliin. Not
that all mothers are equal to this task-
far from it ; but when it comes to nerve ? ,
the average mother takes all this trial
and pressure in a way that puts the average -
ago father to shame. 1 know a shrewd
woman who. whenever her husband had
given her a lecture on nervousness ,
used to contrive to have him dress
ono or two of the children for school
on a winter's morning , utter a breakfast
slightly belated. The good man would
fall meekly into the trap , not clearly re
membering the vastncss of the labor
thu adjustmgs and the tyings and the
buttonmgs ; tno leggings aim the over-
drawers and the arctic shoes ; tlio jacket ,
scarf , coat , gloves , mittens , wristers ; the
hat or cap or hood , to bu pulled tind
pushed and tied in the proper position ;
the complete way in which all these
things , besides being put on , have to be
mutually made fast by strings and but
tons and safety pins , so that the child
thus dressed is a model of compressed
packing , and could , like a well-packed
barrel of china , be sent around the world
without injury.
Calm must bo the spirit , high the pur
pose , of thu father who reaches the end
of this complex task without a word of
impatience , while the wife whom ho calls
nervous has long sineo taken oh" his
hands the other child assigned to him ,
and has long since , with deft hands ,
dressed her and given one patient , final ,
all-comprehending twicli. and the \vliolo
thing is done. If you doubt whether men
are , on the whole , and in their own way ,
as nervous as women , test them with
getting the children readv for school , and
remember that their mother does it twice
a day at least , every day of her life.
Too Tidy for Comfort.
Boston Record : "Recollections of My
Mother. " by Susan T. Lesley , gives an
interesting picture of lifo in Northampton
fifty years ago. The mother was Airs.
Lytnnn , famous for her hospitality and
her devotion to reading. Hero is a sug
gestive bit for housekeepers : "One day
a friend came in who had just visited
Mrs. - , who was one of the most ex
quisite housekeepers. Shu begin to tell
mv mother about the perfect condition
of that house from the narrot to cellar ,
and rang the changes on the brightness
of the brasses , the admirable shinu of the
glass and silver , the entire absence of
dust on every carpet. My mother stood
it just as long as she could , though liget-
ing uneasily in her chair. Then fiho c\-
claimed : ' 1 think Mrs. - is the dirti
est person 1 ever saw in my lifo. ' 'Oh ,
Mrs Lyntan , what can you mean1 cried
the friend. 'What I say is true' said my
mother , bringing down her hand with
much force on the table. 'From thu ris
ing to the setting of thu sun to the going
down of the same that woman's mind is
on dirt. She thinks dirt , sues dirt , is
fighting dirt the livelong day. Now , I
would rather see more of it ou the carpet
and less of it on her mind. ' "
Foul Air and Munty Konmi.
In many rooms there is always a musty
smell on a wet day in summer. Why is
this ? Because the windows are shut to
k cop out the rain , while thu liruplaco is
sVuit to keup out the soot. It is almo.it a
note of ii good housemaid to close the
valve of thn steve as soon as the lires are
left oil' ; and if this remains closed , the
ventilation of thu room throughout thu
summer is left to depend on the windows
alone. In other words , is .suspended at
night , and when cvon there is much winder
or rain in the day. If Dr. P.irkur's rule
nuvor to stop up thu clnmnoy and never
to close the regulator were more attended
to , much less foul air would bo breathed.
For My Inily's Chamber.
Towel shams are now considered necessary -
cossary in well appointed bedrooms , for
concealing the towels during the day
time. They are sometimes profusely or
namented. For instance , ono will have
a foliage design outlined upon it , with in
grain cotton , the Mowers being padded
and worked over with rabbit wool.
Across this design an oblong piece , in
imit ttion of a shoot of paper , is laid ,
having on it n head sketched out in black
silk outlines , und to give the needful
white tint of thu paper , the material is
darned with nourishing thread. A tri
lling novelty , that will probably bo a
favorite on account of its oddity , is the
little folding chair work bag. A diinlnu-
tivo chair ot eboni/.ed woodis furnished
will1 a bag , drawn up with elastic and
headed with a frill in lieu of the ordin
ary seat. The back has also a tlat bag
fastened to it like those fitted
inside some portmanteaus. They
are made in cretonne , but
would bo much more elegant in plus1 ! ,
velvet , or brocade. It has bncn pro
posed to ornament the upper bag , if of
ulush , v'ith a monogram , and chords
might well replace the elastic ; the chair ,
to bo in keeping , might then bo gilded.
Satin sheeting , scrgo , or oatmeal cloth ,
could bo embroidered and largo ribbon
bows added ; indeed , the various modes
of beautifying them are almost endless.
Eastern embroidery is a work in which
all such sorts of scraps can bo used up.
It is a regular potpourri of fabrics a me
lange of figures. The more variety the
bettor. The material on which this
quaint ornamentation is laid is red Tur
key cambrio. Japanese figures are out
out of cretonne and appliqucd on. Cor
nucopias , pines , fans , circles , crescents ,
and stars are cut out of plush , velvet ,
satin , silk and cotton , and arranged in
some kind of design , characteristic of
eastern work. The more prominent
figures are highly raised from the ground ,
tlio edges are bnttodiholcd over , or her-
ring-bonedand , thdfca'ther stitch Is intro
duced wherever tho.ru is an uncovered
space. Spangles and tinsels play a de
cided part In thla manufacture.
Home Dittlcp of Girls.
Good Housekeepings It is by no moans
necessary I" keep your daughter in the
kitchen half the time to accomplish those
results , nor is it essential that she should
bo skilled on her marriage day In every
kind of rookery , and be able to get up a
lirst-elu s dinner at short notice. This
should not bo expected any moro than
thai she go to thu blackboard and un
erringly demonstrate tlio forty-seventh
proposition of KiKJHd.threo or four years
after she lias graduated at some excellent
seminary. But the elements of domestic
knowledge should bo thoroughly mas
tered , and n suitable amount of practice
given in Important details. The intelli
gent girl will know how to apply such
knowledge when the proper timu comes.
The natural imitativeness of children
is to be made available , which the mother
who herself looks after the ways of her
household will find an easy matter. The
little ones like to bo useful , if they see
others about them u.seful : they like to fol
low tlio mother about tlio house under
pretense of helplnir , though often hinder
ing her ; they enjoy using their little
hands about sonuUhfng that older people
do ; in fact , to work until fal.se notions
are instilled into their minds. Most
youni' cirls delight to have some small
household iltitycominitted to their caroj
and is this disposition should bo fostered ,
instead of boiiig discouraged , as it often
is , on the ground that they cannot do the
thing as well as an older person , they
would , with rare exceptions , grow up
with sulliciont knowledge of those homo
matters and interest in them about
which nowadays there is so much com
plaint that young ladies know so little ,
and earn less.
Mrs. Kllen Bliss Hooker writes : "Wo
hear a great deal about the decline in
matrimonial alliances , and much that is
very absurd is said and written of it
mainly , it is urged , that women are not
fit for wives ot men with moderate in
comes. It is said that co-operative house
keeping would insure a greater doKrco of
family lifo. When from largo factories ,
stores , laundries , and the like , we can .so
order our homo living as to lesson the ex
penses incident upon the keeping up of a
largo establishment , the dispensing of an
armv of servants , and proportionate ex
penditure of food , etc. , men of small
capital can afford to marry , hire rooms
and have meals served therein for a com
paratively small consideration. Without
question many young men who would
gladly establish homes of their own are
deterred from so doing by the manifest
extravagance ( as they call it ) of young
"
women :
Hlnl.s on Diiiiicr-Givinu.
The Queen : In'Squire Western's time
a foaming tankard would have symbol-
i/ed the sans facon of a homo dinner.
But wo have got past 'Squire. Western's
times , because wo have abjured tlio sub
stance ; and now it would be dillicult to
find a symbol which should represent the
quiet little meeting which means but a
hospitable welcome , abjuring linen * and
formality , and deliian'ding only readiness
to bo pleased and suitability of attire.
And , after all , these small informal din
ners where people nr < 4 asked for the real
pleasure given by tholr sociuty and where
thorp is plenty oft goiieral talk and all
fun is common thus'e dinners are the
most enjoyable of all. If they miss the
stately grandeur and supreme culinary
excellence of thu finer kinds , they have
in them an clement of friendliness and
intimacy which more * than compensates
for the cook's bo'st fireworks. But then
the people must bo absolutely harmon
ious. There must not bu a crude color
nor a false not-o ilot a Brahminica1
prude if the joyous train is frankly
uoliemian ; nor' a grave politician
if it is merrily artistic ; nor
a musicless ' semi-savage , who
"does not know ono timu from another , "
and who thinks a barrel organ as line as
a stringed band , if the talk is all of
motifs and themes , B.ich and Rubinstein ,
Wagr.er and Beethoven , ami the amuse
ment all of songs , and pieces "spanked"
over the piano as if ho many powerful
mice wore scuttling among the kcy.s.
The whole thing mint bo of ono harmo
nious tint not the same , but harmonious
else will thosmaller number betray the
discrepancies with greater clearness , and
the whole thing will collapse ignommi-
ously.
Ono practice which cannot be too se
verely condemned is that ungrateful , dis
courteous , and essentially false habit in
grained in soiiia , of laughing at or finding
fault with a dinner an entertainment of
any kind provided at cost and trouble
for the entertainer's friends. In all cases
wo have the right to supuoso that pcoplo
do the best they know. If we think we
have a better method than that best , well
und good. Let us hold by it and not bo
seduced into tlio wor e way. But neither
let us fall foul ot the arrangements to
which wo have voluntarily submitted
ourselves. It is a hateful habit , and ranks
with the repetition of conversation , tne
carrying about little scandals , picked
up at this house and that the tellintr little -
tlo confidences in which no harm was to
bo found in the beginning , but which , by
repetition , swell into monstrosities un
dreamt of by the conlidor. If wo accept
the hospitality of our friends wo bind
ourselves in all honor to silence at the
h'ast , if wo feel that wo cannot heartily
commend tlio thing provided for us. To
go away and laugh at it all is an act of a
currish kind , for which the whip of cen
sure is needed , smartly laid on. Hut
thii is a fault by no means rare in soci
ety , where gratitude for the most part is
conspicuous by its absonco. Yet wo all
ewe gratitude to those , who have sought
to entertain us , and consnro or ridicule
ought to include a .sturdy refusal to over
accept the like again. The httlo foxes of
morality destroy a great many vines ;
and if wo would bo perfect jn great
things wo had bettor begin by cleansing
the small. And this small .sin of detrac
tion especially after having received
hospitality is ono of the first to abolish
would wo keep the temple pure.
Dinner T lle Decorations.
To attain success in the art of decora
ting dinner tables needs n thoughtful eye
and u discreet hand. The primary ob
ject is to enhance thu elcganco of the
tableThat
That the feast nmy < > e more Joyoti * ,
C ? Ami the guests bo wore contented.
Therefore the decorations must bo sub
ordinate to the comfort of those who are
to partake of the meal : they are not to bo
arranged for the entertainment of look
ers on , and it should never bo said of
thorn that the servants had ail the pleas
ure they could alibrd , while tlio guests
were simply made uncomfortable. The
old epergne and the golden bowl of gaudy
flowers interfered with conversation ,
madp the table heavy and ostentatious ,
and indicated that the dinner was pro-
py.rod for curcmoriy rather than for enjoy
ment. In selecting receptacles for llo wors
and fruits , it should bo borne in mind
thnt a clear view aaros the tablets always
to bo desired , arid that simple designs
characterized by distinctness and ulo-
ganco are to be preferred to those that
are complex and elaborate , oven if these
last should happen to bo In the bcsttasto ,
considered apart from the purpose they
are tntodod for. There are occasions
when elaborate and costly works are
found appropriate , but , as a rule , they
are the vorv things wo do not want. All
gold and silver receptacles are objectionable -
able ; nevertheless1 , they are not to bo con
demned in tote because we have soon
them used with admirable effect , and
the sparkle of metal is appropriate to
festivity. The large silvered plateau is
usually a cold obstruction or a glaring
mocKcry , and oven plants , if too largo erin
in too great plenty , are apt to suggest
that the table Is an imitation of a nur-
cry or a greengrocer's shop.
GUARDIANS OF GOODNESS ,
Wbat Woman Has Done and is Doing in
tlio World ,
BOUDOIRS OF DUTY AND BEAUTY.
Her Plaoo In Ijltcrnturo Famous
Mothers mill Daughters IJOVO'H
Schedule Will Hose
octli Marry' . '
Woman ,
11 , HUH ton t' ( mi ) ) .
From heaven tooai th the star descended
( llyKiihU'scL-Icstlnl attended ) .
I'ludestlnod to a semblance human ,
.Still half divine. It clian ed toomaii ;
It .still retained within Its face
Some llkoness of Its hra\only uracc ;
Tlio vestal beauties of tlio skies
\Veio mlrror'd In Its faultless eves ;
The splendors of the sunlight tliciu--
.Hut changed Its halo into hair ,
While rose and Illy both combined
Thu hue of Up and clii-uk designed ,
Hotyplc.il of all that she
Most beautiful in both mlcht be.
Woman's I'liiL'o In Ijllcrnturn.
Henry James in Harper's Weekly :
Flooded as wo have beun in these latter
day3 with copious discussions as to the
admission of women to the various
ollices , colleges , functions , and privi
leges , singularly little attention has been
paid , by thi'insolvos at least , to thu fact
that in onu highly important department
of human nll'air.s their cause is already
gained gained in such a way as to de
prive them larguly of their ground ,
formerly so substantial , for complaining
of the intolerance of man. In America ,
in Kngland , to-day , it n no longer a MHOS-
lion ot their admission into tin ; world of
literature ; they aru thciu in force ; they
have been admitted with all the honors ,
on a perfectly equal footing. In America ,
at least , ono feels templed at mo
ments to exclaim that they arc
in themselves the world of litera
ture. In Germany and in I1 ranee , in this
line of production , their presence is less
to bo perceivod. To speak only of the
latter country , Franco has brought forth
in the persons of Madame do Suvigno ,
Madame du Staul , and Madamu Sand ,
three female writers of tlio lirst rank ,
without counting a hundred ladies to
whom wo ewe charming memoirs and
volumes of reminiscences ; but in the
table of contents of the Kevuo des Deux
Mondus , that epitome of the literary
movements ( as regards everything , at
least , but the famous doctrine , in fiction ,
of "naturalism" ) , it is rare to encounter
the name of a female contributor. The
covers of American and Kuglish period
icals tell a different .story on these
monthly sections of the ladder of fame
tlio ladies stand as thick as on the stair
case at a crowded evening party.
Tlio Higher Kducallon of Women.
Now York Tribune : There must bo
some other reason for the disproportion
in the number of male and female stu
dents than can bo charged to a lack of
opportunity for girls , and we think it is
to bo found in a certain domestic preju
dice that exists against sending them
away from homo. As a rule , parents ,
and mothers especially , are reluctant
enough about sending their boys away.
That contingency , however , they have
prepared themselves for. They have ac
cepted it as inevitable , but the idea of
parting with a daughter just when she is
blossoming into womanhood is extremely
unwelcome. Reason may say that it is
for the best. The cold theory of usher
ing her into social lito accomplished and
well informed may seem wise and desira
ble , but experience shows that objections
on her part are listened to with an acqui
escent spirit. Tlio girls who go to college -
lego are almost entirely the girls who
want to go.
It will ue necessary for those who desire -
sire to sec tlio higher education of women
a commonly accepted fact to turn their
batteries against this sentiment. It
will be hard to deal with.
It proceeds from an affection
with which all humanity sympa
thizes. The time must come when
parents will bo ashamed to give their
sons better educational opportunities
than their daughters. In 1830 the census
showed that 15t,37. > of our 2.J7.710 school
teachers wore women. This startling
fact is of itself a loud demand for the
general extension of the reform. No ono
inlluoncc is more powerful in shaping
our national destiny than that of per
sons who are shaping the minds and
characters of those who make it. In
these days of progress the best mental
training that , in the nature of things , is
possible is a young woman's right. It
should ho g'u en her as a matter of course ,
and as freely as the clothes she wears.
He Favored Women Bookkeepers.
Des Moincs Mail : There is no place in
the world where woman rises to emer
gencies of trust and responsibility moro
cllicicntly or frequently than in our broad
western country. Ono of our business
men was asked recently : "Why do you
pinploy Miss tor your bookkeeper ?
Can you got her services for less than
you would have to pay a man ? " "Mo , "
said ho , "I choose her because I know I
can depend upon her return each morn
ing refreshed and ready for business ,
while a man in the same position is moro
than likoiy to spend his evening fur into
the night in dissipation that wholly un
fits him for tlio morrow's duties. "
IJOVO'B Schedule.
Puch.
Item : Some hair soft golden biown ,
She wears It as It were a crown.
Item : Two eyes. They look at mo ,
Although theie's little there to see.
Item : Two lips to sins , speak , kiss ,
Jn none ot these are they amiss.
Item : A smllo. It flits away
Kro 1 its beauties can portray.
Item : Two hands so fair and fine ;
Too tair , i fear , to mate with mine.
Item : Two feet. To kick , In play ,
The follies ot the world away.
Item : Ilerdress. Alas ! wo men
Cannot describe beyond our ken.
Item : A voice. Its music stlis
The hcart-stiliiRS ot her worshipers.
Kach note those ( lower-like lips hot tree
A rosebud's peifume seems to me.
Item : Four words. Mv heart's consoled
' 1 love you too" and all Is told.
A Famous Wonmiiund Her Daughters
St. Louis ( ilobe-liimocrat : At Mrs.
Mullet's tea party yesterday Mrs. Kato
Chase reappeared In society. Mrs. Chase
left her younger daughters at school in
I'aris when she returned to this country
last summer to superintend the removal
of her father's remains , but brought with
her her eldest daughter , Miss Kthel. She
is a wonderfully pretty girl of nineteen
years , and is said to bo quito what her
mother was at that ago. She is quink and
vivacious in conversation , cracoful. easy
and full of tact , and very accomplished
in musio and the languages. Mrs. Chase
and her daughters have dropped the
Sprague name entirely , and Kthol Chase ,
as she Is called , is another aspirant tor
thu stage. She has a dramatic gilt , and
it is her ambition to perfect herself in the
art and make a debut in this country.
The want of money is her reason for
going on thu stage. Airs. Chase lias only
a narrow income now , and the education
of her daughters lias straitened her.
Miss Ktliol talks very plainly to thu family
friends who try to oissuado her , und says
that she fouls obliged to help the family ,
and can make juoro money in thnt way
than in any other.
PciTumliiR Gloves.
Boston Herald : One ola receipt ior
perfuming gloves runs ; Take ambergris
a dram , civet the like quantity , orange-
flower butter a quarter of an ounce ,
and wild these , well mixed and
ordered , daub them over wgoi tly with
line cotton wool , and M > press the per
fume Into them. Other devices for mak
ing thorn "richly redolent" point generally -
ally to the use of fats as being the best
available and most largely emPloyed -
Ployed means to secure a good
and lasting perfume. As for such gloves
being considered excellent for
night tuc , wo have the lines in Swift'.s
poem on the "Ladles'
There night nlovos made ot Tilpsey's hide ,
Heipieathi'd by Tripscy wlu-n she died.
Where a lady's maid is reassuring her
mlstco-s.s , in a poem of 17UO , as to her su
periority over a rival , the maid says :
1 know thu arts she hihors to dMguUo.
1 know \\liencc all her boasted graces rlso ;
'Ihoso clmims which gained the cieiunio
such lonown ,
Ale culled from every quaiterof the town ;
She hiij s her beauties at a price Immense ,
1 ler breath from Wai ren and her teeth Irom
Spence ;
hach nlnht her f.ico Is \ \ rapped In greasy
hands ,
And Chinese gloves enfold her arms and
hands ;
If such a make-up thing can rival thco ,
.i't park canals sirl\ - \\lth the loamlngsea ;
Let Oxford hnck.slth I VKasiis compare ,
And broad St. Olio's viu with 1'oitman
Tjadlos or Ijlniu.
Buenos Ayres Herald : The ladies of
Lima are all eyes. They have the repu
tation of being , as a class , the most beau
tiful in the woild , and meeting them on
the way to mass in the morning , or shop
ping later in the day , one can see how
they obtained it ; but knowing thorn in
their homes- , the opinion changes , and
you conclude , after calm reflection , that
they are not so pretty as the women of
Now 1'ork. It is thu manta , which they
weai In such a coquctish way , that gives
them their reputation for beauty , for it
conceals every feature except their be
witching eyes and lovely olive complex
ion. No matter how ugly her montli or
her nose is ; no matter how high her
cheekbones or largo her ears ; no matter
whether she is as scrawny as a scarecrow
or as bald as a bat , a manta will make
any woman with pretty oycs look hand
some , and like charity , it covers a multi
tude of bins. Th's ' garment , which is
peculiar to Peru , ami is worn by ladies of
all apes and social positions , from tlio
president's wife to the laundress who
comes after your linen , is a sort of foster-
sister to the mantilla of Spain. It is usu
ally of crepe from China , snd costs any-
whcro from $10 to f.jUO , according to its
quality.
Unwomanly Women.
New York Letter in Cleveland Leader
If you wish to gut a good idea of man
ners and morals of men and women in
Now York visit frequently the first-class
rcitaurants , such as Dclmonico's , the
Brunswick , MoroIIi's , Taylor's , Martin-
oili's and the cafes of leading hotels.
You need not fear ; your judgment will
not lead you astray. Ladies think no
more of drinking a pint of wine with
their luncheon or dinner than they do of
drinking a glass of water. At ono of the
above-named places last night , where
wine is included with the dinner , ours
was the only table without wine , and we
seemed to fall correspondingly low in the
opinion of our stylish French waiter.
Before the dinner is finished the color
begins to rush into the faces of the ladies
and when they leave the room they are
fully under the influence- the wine ; not
drunk , no , no , but "braced up" tor the
ride homo and the ordeal of getting
ready tor some evening entertainment.
after which , in New YorK , ladies and
gentlemen generally have supper , with
wine , of course. It is a fact that num
bers of women are obliged to "sober oil' "
and to "swear off" for three or four
months or become permanent wrecks.
Dressmaking as nil Art.
Ono of these industries , says the London
Queen , which are not yet permitted to
rank among the recognised methods of a
gentle woman's profession is that of
dressmaking. "So dreadful , you know ,
to meet your dressmaker at dinner , " say
the foolish one , fingering the lace and
brocade by which that very dressmaker
has made them lovely. They do not ob
ject to moot the artist who had taken
their portrait , and added charms which
nature had forgotten to give , but the
dressmaker , who conseals their defects ,
and heightens their beauties , is another
person altogether , and out of the sacred
palo which incloses the painter. Yet.
dressmaking of the best kind is a real
art , needing taste , perception , origin
ality , the creative faculty and the
sometimes most dillicult power of
harmonizing beauty with ugliness de
vising a becoming garment for an
unlovely person , whore is the essential
difference , pray , between a man who
mixes colors deftly on his palette and a
woman who combines hers deftly in ma
terial ? between a man who draws on
canvas beautiful lines and draperies
impossible to wear if lovely to look at
which to fasten a breadth of silk so that
it shall hang in perfect folds and not
have a kink or angle ? The ono is merely
putting into possible practice the theo
retical beauty of the other ; and wo say
again what mood of praise belongs to a
figure artist belongs also to a dressma
ker , each to his and her own sphere.
The .secret of Miss Kvarts' popularity
as a maker and dispenser of chocolate
when her father was secretary of state ,
lay in the fact that the chocolate was ex
ceedingly rich , and callers relished it
greedily in the tiny cups in which it was
served. Moro chocolate was used in ono
of these small cups than ordinarily enters
into tlio composition of two cofleo cups
of this beverage. Beaten white of eggs
with cream was served with it , and the
mixture was so toothsome that it gave
the young lady n national reputation.
Miss Cleveland's Romance.
New York Morning Journal : A remarkable -
markablo story about Miss Rose Cleveland
land comes fiom Washington. It is to
the cllbct that .she is about to become a
wife. During her term as editress of Lit
erary Life a tain of a young clergyman's
trials was published. The story and the
student and Mies ClevclnnJ aru romantic
ally connected. When Miss Cleveland
left Washington for Holland Patent the
joungman was misseil from Washing
ton , and it was learned upon inquiry that
ho had gone to Kuropo , Ho , liowovor ,
returned about three months afterward ,
and is now stopping with relatives in Al
bany , N. Y. llo , it is said , is the prospective -
poctivo bridegroom , and the wedding
will take place early in April. Miss
Cleveland became interested in the di
vinity student and some cliaritablo work
ho had on hand , and upon reeoivinir the
oiler from the Chicago publisher
she inked thu young student's ad
vice. Ho , who by the way , belongs -
longs to ono of thu oldc > t and
most aristocratic families at the capital.
declared his opposition. It appears that
the minister delineated in thu story ro-
furrcil to above was this young lover of
Mrs. Cleveland , and the incidents and
episodes appearing in thn story were
taken trom the actual occurrences subse
quent to and during the courtship of the
young couple , In ono portion of the
serial an effecting s'cono was introduced.
depleting a littTo "tiff" wluuli had
actually occurred between tiiu conplo bu-
fore thu final estrangement , and which
had terminated in a victory tor Miss C. ,
through the use of woman's weapons
tears and reproaches. The reproduc
tion of this incident in tuo story so
worked up tlio young man's feelings
that ho at once started for Holland
Patent , where Miss Cleveland was then
stoppinc. to try and olloct a reconcilia
tion. The engagement was renewed.
Thereupon Miss Cleveland severed her
connection with Literary Life , and once
more every thing bloomed like ft roso.
Thin , It Is said , is the true inwardnccss of
Literary Life affair , over which there
B
lm < been so much controvorsv. The
president is said to be pleased with th
match.
Looking After the Complexion.
Medical \Vorld : A wlso old doctor tolls
the ladies tiftor this fashion how they can
improve both health and complexion :
For the present I prescribe only for your
feet. First , procure a quantity of woolen
stockings , not such as you buy at the
store under the name ot lamb's wool that
you can read a newspaper through , but
the kind that your aunt Jornsha in the
country knits for you , that will keep your (
feet dry and warm , in spite of the wind
and weather ; second , if yon want to bo
thorough , change them every morning ,
hanging the fresh ones by the lire during
the night ; third , procure thick calf
skin boots , double uppers and triple
soles , and wear them from the 1st
of October to the 1st of May ;
make frequent applications of some good
oil blacking ; fourth , avoid rubbers alto
gether , except a pair of rubber boots ,
which may bo worn lor a little time
through the snowdrifts or a Oood of
water ; fifth , hold the bottoms of vour
feet in cold water a quarter of an Inch
deep 1u t before going to bed , two or
three minutes , and then rub them hard
with rough towels and your naked hands ;
sixth , go out trooly in all weathers , and ,
believe me , not only will your feet enjoy
a good circulation , but as the eonsrqucn-
oi's of the good circulation in the lower
extremities" your head will bo relieved of
all its fullness and your heart of all its
palpitations. Vour complexion will bo
greatly improved and your health made
better in every respect.
Btorjr of the American Mail Servian.
St. James Gazette : The early history
of tlio postal service between this country
and its "plantations" across the Atlantic
is curious and interesting. In the first
attempt to establish such a service it was
proposed that the packet boats .should
sail from tno l.slo of Wight. On the 2oth
of February , 170 ! ) , the lords of trade re
ported to the Karl of Nottingham on a
proposal made by Sir Jeffrey Jeffreys for
establishing a regular service of packet
boats between that island and New York.
The lords conferred with Jelfioys and
learned the exact nature of his propos
als , which were to place on the line two
ships , for sailing or rowing , each of 150
tons burthen and carrying toiirteon guns
and a crow of forty men. Ono of those
ships would , ho said , bo ready to "part"
after entering into nn agreement , and
sail direct to Now York , remain there
thirty days and then return. The next
packet was to start two months after thu
lirsl. Jeffreys reserved the right of tak
ing passengers and fifty tons of mer
chandise on each voyage. For remuner
ation ho asked the sum of .T > 0 a month
and stipulated that the ships should re
ceive "effectual protection "
The act of 1710 gives in a cnrloni in
sight into one of the most frequent causes
of delay in the conveyance of icttori
from ono part of America to another.
This was the rapacity of the ferrymen in
levying blackmail on the post boys , so to
speak , notwithstanding that the ferries
wore to have been free for the post. So
it was enacted that any delay on a ferry
man's p&rt a longer time than half an
hour should bo punished by a fine of $ . " ) ,
By the act of 1710 an increasu in the post
age rate -was made , and the following
scale lived , so far as concerned New
York : For a "single" letter ,
one shilling : "double , " two shillings.
and "treble , " three shillings ; a letter of
an ounce weight being carried foi tlio
modest sum of four shilling. Thu postage
to New York remained at the same
exorbitant rate for years. Thus it hap
pened that when in 1700 a curtain Amer
ican divine sent to a friend at Lambeth
two tracts ot his own composition , the
recipient acknowledged them in these
word ? : "Good Johnson , but the postage
on them amounted to thirty-live sliifi-
ings. "
FOR SPRAINS BRUISES.
&i Jflr n Jap < c nfynn t'alemtnlt tmflrmtvg
the rfficnci/ ht. Jacubi Oil and its permanent
cures aiegncn below ,
From an Aged Minister Mny.lBRO.
Waxnlmclilu , Ellli Co. , Icing.
My wife Tell fi6m a liorso and recelVoJft
eorcrc bruising ; one rib broken. I got some
of > our St. Jacobd Oil. Slie licvil ouu bcltlo
and It did bor pond. I am au old inlu-
inter of 4(1 ( odd years ntaiidlnv.
B.B.YARlJOKOUGn ,
From nil Wfo a Y * r I-nter Curcul.
\ViixuliiKlilc , Tex , Nov. tth , 1880.
My Imsluuid Is dcud. I was thpprlntlpal
lcnellcl ry of St. Jacobs Oil , havhiK re
ceived painful Injurlca falling from a
homo. I wai cured br It.
ilOS.M. JJ.YARBOROUGII.
Abicess on Right Ana -July , 1 BBl-Cnrcd.
IIoljrokoM M.
Five yean ago nn abscess foruiud ou inf
right arm and with It came rhoumntlim.
1 vraa unable to heal tlio ab cc eor rcmovo
the paliu. I used tlirco bottles of St. Ja
cobs Oil ; in thrco dfljs all pnln had
reused : lu nlnodayi tbonbscem MM cu-
tlroly hculod. TH03. 1' . GI.OSTUK.
rrcunSamoBYoamljitor Knthutliiitlo.
43 Might St. , Ifolyoko , Mass. , Oct. ? > . 1PM. ,
Youra received. "I. Ihoi. 1' . illoslcr ,
Brier ( Ivo years of torrlbloimflcrlnK from nil
absents ou the rlKbtnrm , uivs twriimiiently
cured by .St. Jacobs OIL Tor further Information
mation apply to mo. "
aitos.r.ou > sTiui.
Sj ) ruined and Frnt lured Ann Currd.
New York , N. Y. , Nov. 1 , ISSfl ,
In reply I would bay , some > can ego I
had a very badly anralncd und fractured
BHII and found tit. Jiicoba Oil reduced lilt
swelling aud the pain wni cured.
TIIOS. II. DORfiEY.
THE CHARLES A , VOHKI.Kll CO , IltHlmon , MJ ,
O- All PCMOTIJ mind kl. Jtifott Oil or 7.VI (
( Star Qmnh Vurf , nill by ifitilinjn two-cent ilainf
and a hutory nf their caeeiicate 4i > vici rr.Efc
KEH mOM OFIATEB AND POISON ,
SAFE.
SURE.
PROMPT.
AT LnVOUlSTfl AND UriLKUS.
TM OUBUB A. T OUKI.U CO * BiLTIBOBI , HB.
OMAHA
MEDICAL & SURGICAL IHSTITUT
Cor. 13th ST. and CAPITOL AYE. , OMAHA , NEB. >
Beit facilities , apparatus and remedies for inccoM.
Iiilljr treating oil kmdiof medlra. mid lurglcal cwei
\ \ niTE roiiG'iRCULAiiion DcfdrmltltaaiidlJracc *
Clubl'cct , Cunatnroaf lie Spine , Dlncwei of W < J
mrn.l'Jlci , Tumor * , Cimccre , Catarrh , Dronchltl * ,
I'araljili , Kpllcri y , Kidney , Tllmldcr. Kye , Kor
hkln end Win il. and nil hiiririca ! Oporatloui.
PRIVATE CIRCULAR TO MEN
On Private , Hpedal and NervniiH DUcatei , Hera
lnal\V-ikiieii ! lSivrmatiirrh | < raImpotcnry , Hrphlllg ,
Oonorrha'a. ( licet. Verlcocclc. Ocnllo-Urlnarj
trrublM. Onl lollablo , MEDICAL IN *
STITUTE i > ln ! { a ipcclalty of tlio t-bovo-
named dlHoaaue.
Xcir ItratoratlveTrcatmi-nt for Loss ofVltal Power.
All CoNTAOlotK and HLOOD Imii < xa from what.
c er canse produced , succeofully treated vltboiil
r.icrcurr. lu-dlclnrs or Instrumui ti tnt by mall
cr ciprcsi , eecurcly packed from nbtcnatlon ,
Cill aod conault u , or Mild lilitory of rare , whh
atf.rop. All commnnlratloni ttrlctly conf.ilcntlal.
fin DA\MC ( ForUtenf patlcnta. Hoard and attinJ.
Uu nuUHO ( inccrcAKonalilo. Addrrxalllctlrr *
OMAHA MGDIGAL & UKCIGflL IHSTiTUTE ,
T
Itlliul TjIW-ITrtUr Jl
( } . A. UUTIIKUFORD ,
Attorney At Law ,
8. B. Cor. UoiiKliu * nd 1Mb ( . , room 4 , Opiati * .
Bpoclal ttttoutlon to Trial Casui & Collation * .