Nebraska Newspapers

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THE OMAHA DAILY BEE ; SUNDAY. i jflBRUARY 27 , 1887.-TWELVEPAGES. ,
WOMAN'S WORLDLY WEALTH ,
Gems in Poetry and Prose of Hollar , Slater
and Wife.
CONSOLATIONS OF CREATION.
Fctnnlo Drummers Iltcli Imdlcs of
Jotlinm Titled MarrlnKCri
'I'leaof Non Support" Ocu-
otnl Gotalpy Talk.
"XVoinan'n hove.
( Shall woman's lo\o-of mother , alstcr , wife ,
Tlio richest blessing of this mortal life ,
Receive no tribute , humble though It be ,
Fur no much worth nnd so much purity ?
Yosl While our hearts can feel or lips can
speak
Our words shall fall not though our words are
weak-
Weak to express what bends each noble soul
In mild submission to Itssweet control ;
Which smooths each \Mlnkle from the brow
of care ,
And sotseternal youth and beauty there ;
JLIehts up tliu gloom of death , and points the
road
To ( Jod's celestial homo and our divine abode 1
Tributes to Woman ,
Confucius Woman is the masterpiece.
Herder Woman is tlio crown of cre
ation.
Voltaire Women teach us repose ,
civility and dignity.
John Quiney Adams All that I am ,
ray mother made mo.
Less ! ng- Nature meant to make woman
its masterpiece.
Lamartino There is a woman at tlio
beginning of all great things.
VVhiltier If woman lost usKdcn , such
os .she alonu restore it.
Barrett Woman is last at the cross
and earliest at the grave.
Rlchtcr No man can cither live pious
ly or die righteous without a wifo.
N P. Willis The sweetest thing in
life is the unclouded welcome of a wife ,
Voltaire All the reasonings of men
nro not worth ono sentiment of a woman.
Beechcr Women are a new race ; re
created since the world received
Christianity.
Leopold Schefor But ono thing on
earth is better than the wife that is the
mother.
Shakespeare For whore is any author
in the world teaches such beauty us a
woman's eyes ?
Micholet Woman is the Sunday of
man ; not his repose only , but his joy , the
salt of his life.
Margaret Fuller Ossoli Woman is born
for love , and it is impossible to turn her
from seeking it.
Louis Desnoycrs A woman may bo
'ngly. ill-shaped , wicked , ignorant , silly
and stupid , but hardly over ridiculous.
Lord Lansdalo If. the whole world
were put into ono scale and my mother
into the other , the world would kick the
the beam.
Malhorbo There are only two beauti
ful things in the world women and
roses ; and only two sweet things women
and melons.
Bulwor-Lytton 0 , woman ! in ordinary
cases so mere a mortal , how in the great
and rare events of life dost thou swell
into the angels !
Savillo Women have more strength
In their looks than wo have in our laws ;
and more power by their tears than we
have by our arguments.
Emerson A beautiful woman is a
practical poet : taming her savage mate ,
planting tenderness , nope and eloquence
in all whom she approaches.
Anna Cora Mowatt Misfortune sprin
kles ashes on the heart of the man , but
ialls like dow on the head of the woman
and brings forth germs of strength of
whinh she herself had no conscious pos
session.
Thackeray Almost all women will
give a sympathizing hearing to men who
. are in love. Bo they ever so old , they
grow young again in that conversation
and renew their own early time. Men
are not quite so generous.
Ruskin Shakespeare has no heroes
ho has only heroines.
Gladstone Woman is the most perfect
when the most womanly.
Cabanis In wishing to extend her em
pire , woman destroys it.
Boucicault I wish Adam had died with
all his ribs in his body.
Bulwor To a gentleman , every woman
Is a lady in right of her sex.
Cowloy What is a woman ? Only ono
of nature's agreeable blunders.
Saadi A handsome woman Is a jewel ;
a good woman is a treasure.
Rochefoucauld A fashionable woman
is always in f eve with herself.
Cervantes All women are good good
for nothing , or good for something.
Victor Hugo Women detest the ser
pent through a professional jealousy.
i'rancis L A woman changes oft ; who
trusts her is the softest of the soft.
Shakespeare There was never a fair
woman but slm mouths in a glass.
George Eliot A passionate woman's
love Is always overshadowed by her fear.
Heine Handsome women without re
ligion are like flowers without perfume.
Cervantes Between a woman's "yes"
and "no" I would not venture to sticK a
pin.Luther
Luther Earth has nothing moro tender -
dor than a woman's heart when it is the
abode of pity ,
Womoii ns Drummers.
Albany Argus : A few years since , when
the business community was startled by
the innovation of women as traveling
salesmen , it was argued that they
would bo a success , as they could n ot
Jill the many social obligations required
to sell largu amounts , An experience of
two or throe years , however , has given
the matter nn entirely different aspect.
It is found tlmt the lady drummer makes
an impression on the country merchant ,
especially In thn west , where the male
member of the fraternity would fail. A
commercial man of largo experience says
thu merchants will hold their orders for
tliu laay drummer , oven though a dozen
of their own sex odor nnd beg to fill them
on advantageous terms.
Again , they nro always In need of
something when the lady drummer calls ,
while with the man It Is moro often
"nothing to-day. " The 'success of the
women drummers is much more marked
with the merchants of the opposite sex
than with their own. Women in trade
dp not usually tnko kindly lo women as
commercial travelers and it has been
suggested that in the future , when every *
thing is "down line , " women will bo em
ployed exclusively to sell to the men and
the men to take orders from the women
in trade ; but as only a small proportion
of merchant and traders are of the gentle
sex it is obvious that when that day
comes , if it overdoes , the ladies will have
a practical monopoly of the business , as
the mules do now , and the men must
then find something else to do.
Mon and \VoinRii ,
A busy woman who must tliink , w'-.j
must care for others , \ylios < \ heart is "in
her work for oth'V.'S ' , and whoso Jifo can-
upt bo confined within four walls , or any
narrowing conventionalities , seeks her
kind , and saves her precious moments by
receiving her friends upon ono day in the
week. The busy man , shut in his oilieo
for long hours , harassed by many cares
and often flagellated by foes , finds i !
sweeter and better for thu few moments
chat in Borne attractive homo , where
beauty , music and flowers give him the
needed poetry to mate with his prosaic
cares.
_
Itioh New Vork Women ,
The New Yorfc correspondent of the
Philadelphia Record writes : I am every
day astonished at the wealth of this city ,
We nro supposed to know at least the
VtMUVMVmlxgaH *
names of the rrtHllonhires , ornt any rate
jcoplo wlioso fortunes nmotint to moro
Imn n million or two ; but wo < Io not
know tlio half of them , nnd the number
> ! wealthy women In Now York Is past
juhcf. I know a Indy whom nobody
over hoard of ouUMo of her own circle
sf acquaintance who Ims $5,000. < M ) of
lior own. 1 known another Indy who
1m $3,000,000 ! of another , recently dead ,
with from $3,0 , 0,000 to 16,000,000. Thosu ,
of course , not including the well known
wealthy widows such ns the Into Mrs.
A. T. Stewart , tlioVidow Hitmnicrsley ,
Mrs. May nnd n dozen others. The china
nnd household ornaments of the Widow
McCrosky were sold at auction this week.
Thcro was nothing very striking about
the collection , though it wasan expensive
one. Widow McCrosky loaves about six
million dollars , a largo part of which is
invested In the Chemical National bank.
Mrs. McCrosky got m when the shares
were at par. Now a share that originally
coil ? 10t ) Is worth $3,500 ; so if Mrs. Mc
Crosky had a/few hundred shares in this
bank her income would have been a great
deal larger than ono would have thought ,
taking the ordinary percentage which
nowadays seems to bo live.
I know another Indy in Now York who
has sfu.000,000 of her own , $2.000,000 of
which she will scttlo upon her daughter
if her daughter marries to please her. If
thu daughter does not If she takes it into
her hoatl to run oil * with the coachman
she will bo cut off withaKlulllng ; at least
that is what her mother says now. It is
not generally glvon out that the mother
is going to make this marriage settlement
on her daughter. If it were 1 tliink she
would have an embarrassment of suitors.
Two million dollars is a good deal to sot-
tic upon a bride moro in fact than la
wise but I tliink it much bettor for
wealthy parents to give their children a
dowry when they marry than to give
them nothing until their death , when the
property is divided. The Idea of mar-
riii 1:0 settlements , which ns a general
thing is repugnant ; to Americans , is not
a bad one. It makes a woman independ
ent and it makes it possible for her to
marry a poor man who might DC a ninoh
bolter husband for her than a richer ono.
When young men or young women have
been brought up surrounded by every
luxury nt home , and then get married
and are obliged to live as though they
were In straitened circumstances , when
they know at the death of their parents
they are going to liavo all tlio money
they want , It makes thorn , I fear , look
forward to tlio death of their parents
with feelings akin lo resignation. Jf at
their marriage a good round sum of
money were settled upon them , I think
tlio e'llcct would be more satisfactory
than is found in anticipation.
Speaking of rich wo'mcn , Mrs. Fred-
crick Stevens , whose marriage to the
Marquis do Talleyrand has excited so
much talk in fashionable circle1 * , is onu
of the richest. Her yearly income is
$300,000 , and she gets the creator part of
this from the Chemical National bank ,
In which she is one of the largest Block-
holders. Her father , 1 believe , was ono
of the founders of the bank. Mrs
Stevens' relations with the Marquis do
Talleyrand huvo been of a scandalous
nature for a unmoor of years. The mar
quis , as well as Mrs. Stevens , was mar
ried , and has a wife , a Boston woman ,
and a family of children. Ho is a bril
liant man , but is extremely unpleasant
to look at. and is nn inveterate gambler.
But Mrs. Stevens became enamored of
him and gave up husband , homo and
children and followed him through
Europe. She came back from abroudn
few months ago and. wont to live at Newport -
port , that she might take advantage of
the loose divorce laws of the state of
Rhode Island. There she got a divorce
granted her on the plea of non-support.
Her husband made no objection , and
after obtaining a divorce she went back
to Paris ami married tlio Marquis do
Talleyrand , who in the meantime hud
become divorced from his wife , on what
ground I do not know. Perhaps she got
the divorce from him , which she might
easily have done.
.Now anything moro absurd than Ibis
lea of non-support on the part of Mrs.
Stevens could hardly bo imagined. Mrs.
Stevens is the daughter of a wealthy mer
chant of Now York city by tlio name of
Sampson , who had more money than so
cial positionand who was possessed with
an ambition to got into society , or at
least to get his daughter in. Frederick
Slovens was a young lawyer of limited
practice but high social position , and in
him Mr. Sampson saw his opportunity.
The match wns ono of convenience , but
it was n love match as well. Mr. Stevens
was anxious to go on with his business ,
but father-in-law Sampson would not
listen to It. Ho made him retire from the
practice of the law , and told him ho
would iind nil the business ho wanted
taking care of his wife's ' estate. Mr.
Stevens hesitated ut lirst , but the offer
was a tempting ono , nnd ho linally ac
cepted it as n matter of course , nnd ho
did look closely after his wife's affairs ,
aud they were supposed to bo a happy
oouplo us couples go ; nnd they were , I
believe , until the Marquis Do Talleyrand
appeared upon the scene. Mrs. Stevens
no sooner rested her eyes upon his ugly
little face than she lost her head , and for
got not only common decency , but all the
instincts of a wife and mother.
Gossip For tlio Imdlos.
The youngcs t' typo-setter of whom
thcro is any record is the 0-year-old
daughter of a New York newspaper man ,
She docs the work well.
Mrs. P. 1) . Armour , of Chicago , is n
practical philanthropist. Olio of her
good works is the maintenance of a mis
sion Echool , which costs her $10,003 a
year.
It is a sad commentary on the astute
ness of the authors of "Ono Hundred
Distinguished Americans , " just pub *
llshod , that only four women nro men
tioned , Tticso are Charlotte Cnshmnn ,
Lucrotin Mott , Elizabeth duly Stauton
nnd Harriet Bcocher Stowo.
Michigan is proud of Miss Alice R.
Jordan , the young woman who took the
degree of LL. B. nt Yule last Juno.
She is but 23 years old , Is the first and
only woman over graduated from Yale ,
was two years ago admitted to practice
law in the circuit courts , and has now
been admitted to practice in the superior
court.
Professor Mnria Mitchell of Vnssar college -
logo , declares that tiocioty has never
glvon women a chance to show their in
tellectual fitness for responsible posi
tions. A thoughtful Klnnco , over the
world , however , suggest * that the bars
nro down now at least , however formid
able they may have been in times past ,
nnd that woman may do whatever she
\ \ lll.Cincinnati
Cincinnati boasts of having tlio only
fotmilo engineer in the country , Her
name is Mary S , Hronnan , and him is ma
tron of a young ladies' snmlnnrv. To
obviate the trouble experienced with the
hunting apparatus In the establishment
she studied the science of stoain heating ,
introduced may improvements , ! ! ! ? " " 'Mil
before the bonrd o ( } njcctrvr3 ) , alut , pas-
binga lira * gyas3 examination , received
ns ? license.
Now Hampshire has n philosopher. Shu
is a woman who never allows herself to
f rot over nnj thing. She take.s onu or
( wo naps every day , never takes her
work to bed witli her , nnd oils all the
various wheels of u busy life with an Im
plicit faith that there is u head nnd heart
to this great imivor o , nnd that she can
trust thorn both. She has reached the
ago oi eighty years , but thanks to the
method of her life ' is still vigorous and
healthy.
Octtiujr Illlnd.
Hobby ( returned from nn errand )
Ma. Miss Smith is gettin' bliud , 1 think.
Kiother-Why , Bobby }
Bobby Because when I went into tne
hall she said , "Oobby , wnero'a your
hat1" ! nnd thera it was on my head all
the time.
SELECTED SMILE STARTERS ,
Pungent Pena that ( Jure Mora Ills than
Patent Pills.
STIOGINS' OLD STEM-WINDER ,
* *
j
How \Vrltot\Iiovc8tory Ham .Jones
In "Bcandom" ItiRcrsoll's Lat
est 1)111 Nyo's Uovlne l' r-
ticnlar Jacob ,
How to Write n Iiovo Story.
CVtrloHrt IVrrj/ .
Now bring mo niunld tlmt la plum o and dark ,
And bring mo n maid that Is tall and fair ;
One must bo gay as a meadow laik ,
Ono n 1th a crave and queenly air ,
And n sort of a hlijh-tonod stately stnio.
A man , old , rich , and a perfect frlglit ;
A man tlmt Is .voting and dcbominlr :
And lol the story that 1 will urlto.
Brlntc mo a summery moonlit park ,
Hilng me a house In a handsome square ,
Ono in the country , a kind of ark
Of rofupo for lovers ; some mml despair ,
Duty , temptation , grief and care.
To take the edge elf love's delight ,
A few odd pcoplo from hero and thrre ,
And lol the story llmt 1 will write ,
Brine mo a trlpln a treacherous bark ,
A wreck In the mldseas nnywheie.
Bring me n duel heaven save the mark I
A H'uultod and Imppy pair.
A pown from Wortlfs lor the brldo to wear.
And bring mo a fate as dark as night ,
For all ot the bold , bad ones to share ;
And lol the story that 1 will write ,
Envoy.
Brine Ink and pen to mv onsv chair.
Of paper a ream alt f.ilr and white ,
A publisher ready to do and dare.
And lo I the story that I will wilte.
A Stem-Winder. .
Texas Sittings : Stiggins was passing
a watchmaker's establishment and look
ing in the window lie noticed a very
pretty girl at the counter.
"liar ho soliloquized. "I'll go in and
take a look at her under some pretext or
other. "
Ho entered and was waited on by the
young lady's father.
"What can I do for you ? "
"I want to get a key for my watch,1'
he stammered , feasting his eyes on the
young lady.
"Lot me see your watch , " said the
watchmaker
As if in a dream he took out his watch.
The watchmaker examined it and said ,
with surprise ;
"Why your watch is a stem-winder. "
lie doesn't remember how he got out ,
but ho docs remember that ttiu young
lady laughed.
Something Ho Had Not hcarncd.
Washington Critic : He was stopping
at the Ebbitt , and , becoming ill , sent
down for the clerk. Mr. Uoss flew up
stairs , nnd in about fifteen minutes came
down looking as nalo ns a fresh table
cloth. "What's the matters" asked one
of the regular boarders , hanging on tlio
edge of the counter. "There's a man up
stairs with the hvdrophobia ! " exclaimed
lloss , in terrified accents. "How do yon
know"v.iid the Regular , with excited
interest. "Why , ho sent for mo to
como up to his room ; that ho was sick. I
went and found him choking , his throat
parched and dry , and calling feebly for
something to drink. I gave him a glass
of ice water , and when ho saw it , lie
jumped wildly up , knocked it out of my
hand , and looked as if ho were going to
have a lit. " The Regular looked serious
and shook his head ominously , while
Koss stood irresolute and trembling.
"Who is ho ? " finally inquired the Regu
lar. "Colonel Ulank of Kentucky , " re
sponded Ross. The Regular's face un
derwent a great change. . "And you gave
him ice water ? " ho said. In pitying
amazement. "Oh , Ross , Ross , will you
never learn the dilleronce between a
hydrophobia patient and a Kentucky pol
itician ? " And the Regular strolled off
toward the sick man's room , leaving u
cold and heartless smile for poor Ross.
Hum Jonos' mistake.
" 1 would make Boston a suburb of glory. "
SAM JONES.
Make Boston a suburb of dory ,
Sam Jones ?
Do you know what such sacrilege means ?
I fear you have not roail the story ,
tinm Jones ,
Of that city of ! culture and bonus.
You aio sailing t'lrough ' breakers and locks.
Sam Jones ,
A daneeroussoa you aio tossed on ;
Uereafter be suru In your talks ,
Sam Jones ,
To make glory a suburb of Boston.
Xlio Ijiitest Prom Inecrsoll.
Now York Star : The latest from
Ingersoll is floating around tlio Hoffman.
It was in St. Louis , nnd the colonel was
accosted by a tall , Inntern-jawoa speci
men of saving grace from the back dis
tricts.
"Air you Bob Ingersoll ? " nsked ho.
"Iwas christened Robert G. " said
the orator.
" the that's ' abolish
"Airyou man tryin' to
ish lioll-lireV"
The colonel said ho was doing a little
that way.
"Why , the idee , " said the reverend.
"How on iiirth air wo goin' to save sin-
norsV You ought to be ashamed of your
self. "
"Don't commit yourself , my friend
don't."said the colonel , quickly. "You
may be mighty sorry some day that I
didn't abolish it. " .
Ills Son Jacob was Very Particular.
Texas Siftlngs : "How is your son Jacob
coming on ? " asked Washington Jones of
an Austin Israelite.
"Only so so , Mlshtcr Jones. "
"Ain't ho married yet ? "
"No , not yet. My son Shacob was very
particular. "
"Can't ho find a girl to suit him ? "
"Veil I dolls you. Ho could have mar
ried clot Rouecca Blumcnthal mil fifty
doimml tollars more dan den years ago ,
and ho vent pack on her. "
"That was unfortunate. "
"I should uhmilo. Choost calculate
how much Interest alone hush gone dot
spout up dat fifty dousand tollars on in
den years at , shuy , only six per shunt. "
Presence of Allnd.
"You know Ioo Cutler ? " said a Cin
cinnati traveler to a follow M. T ,
" \Vlio , the coroner ? "
"That's the man ; yon know lie has the
reputation of never losing his head ,
Always ready ( or an emergency.1
1'Yos ; I've heard that of him. But
what about it. "
"I saw film thoroughly rattled the other
clay. "
' "What " about ? "
"Simply because ho couldn't find his
ink-bottlu. "
"Pshaw ; that shouldn't , have disturbed
him , I ehouUUUiuk that any man in his
btt'n& > s would liavo known just what to
do in a case like that. "
"What would you have dona ? "
"Held nn Ink quest , of course. "
And ho escaped just In tlmo to deprive
thu undertaker of a job ,
It Was a Dead Give Away.
Pittbburg Dispatch ; , A certain oust qnd
young lady Ir much given to adding lorco
to her remarks by the usu of metaphors.
Recently she was placed in a rather em
barrassing position by her proficiency in
this lino. As girls often will when mono
together , she nnd a number of young
lady friends were ono day animatedly
discussing the merits and demerits of
their masculine acquaintances from a
strictly girf standpoint. Whatever the
talk may have been about , at one stage of
its progress ono of the misses exclaimed :
"Oh , isn't ho horrid I I'd have boxed
liU ears ! "
CiTho other young ladies volubly agreed
with this declaration , and the young
hostess then declared :
"Tho awiul wrhtohl But T can manage
him , you bell YoiP should see mo alt on
him I"
Just hero comes In the enfant terrible ,
always around 16 interpret statements lit
erally and honcstlyi" "
"I sued you sitting on him once , Lou. "
Then , as the rest momentarily stopped
their talk in speechless amazement , the
terror tixclalmcd in conclusion :
"I dess ho llk-cd It , too. He was tying
your shoo. "
And then , as the piping treble rvf the
youngster was lost In a chorus of "Oh'sl"
the" ! didn't ' ! " of the blushing Lou , in
indignant and expostulating tones , might
have been heard by those who cared to
hear. | '
I-iill ofp'imand Fight.
Pall Mall Gazette : Some of the details
of cross-examination in the now famous
libel action of Pankhurstvs Sowlnr ( Man
chester Courier ) before Justice Hawkins
nro too funny to pass by. 1'or instance :
Did j-ou sny with relation to the franchise
bill that "no oriental despot had ever
conceived a tyranny so Insolent In its
bearing ? " as tno attitude of Ixml Salis
bury. "I did , " replied thu determined
doctor , "and I am sorry to say it is
true. " "Did Saltsnury bring an action
against you ? " "Iwis'li ho had. " "But hn
didn'tr "No. " "Now , In another part
of the speech did you speak of the members -
bers of the house of lords ns a lot of prize
gooseberries ? " [ Loud laughtor.l "Cer
tainly ! pri/o gooseberries. " [ llcnewcd
laushter.l Dr , Pankhurst's point of law
in this action as against the newspaper ,
is , it should bo remembered that it is not
and can not be for the public good to
publish a "blasphemous story. " whether
line or false. Whatever may bo the law
or however it niav press upon the editor
of newspapers , ubbodv cafi demy thai Dr.
Pankhurst is making a gallant fight of it ,
witli a good deal of fun thrown in.
nil ! Nyo'B COAV.
"Owlmr to ill-health " Hill
- , says Nyc ,
"I will sell at my residence in town.
21) , range 18 , west , according lo govern-
mont&urvoy , one crushed-raspberry col
ored cow , aged six years. She is a good
milkstcr and not afraid of ihu cars or
anything else. Shu Is a cow of undaunted
courage and gives milk frequently. Tea
a man who does not fear death in any
form she would bo a great boon. She is
very much attached to her homo at pres
ent , by means of a trace chain , but she
will be sold to any ono who will agree to
treat her right. She is one-fourth Short
horn and three-fourths hyena. Pur
chaser need not bo identified. I will also
throw in a double-barreled shot-gun
which goes with her. In May she gener
ally goes away bomuwhoro for a week or
two , and returns with a tall red c-alf with
long , wabbly legs. Her name is Rose , and
] would prefer to sell her to n non-resi
dent. "
A Man.of . Experience.
Lady liavo you houses to rent ?
Real Eicato Agent Yes. Here is one
list of about 150.
Lady Do you think that you can give
inn ono that will suit mo ?
Real Estate Agent Madam , I don't be-
liovc I can. But possibly t can give you
ono that will suit y > W hubband.
Used Olhssos 15othVnys. .
" 1 want to scji oi\c \ of the editors , " said
a lady , coming into1 the ollice.
"Which one , ? " in'quired ' the horse re
porter , i \
"Tho one thai wears glasses. "
"On his nose or under his nose ? "
"BothI think ; " she replied hesitatingly ,
and was at orico directed by the startled
horse reporter tto the religious editor's
room. < JJ
Mttlo Bits of Fun.
"Who is the god of battles ? " asked a
teacher of the. class in mythology.
"Mar , " answered little Johnny Henpeck
"JSlars , you in an , Johnny , " corrected
the teacher. "No , I don r , neither. I
only got one mar. "
"If you want to look for line marks , "
said the boy to the palm reader , "you
needn't examine my hand , for that's the
wrong place. You want to look at the
spot where the old man larruped mo
with the clothes lino. "
A rooster may crow as clear as a boll
And bo "COCK of the walk" all dny ,
iiut h < > can't fay an egg with a hard white
shell
Because ho ain't built that way.
Levy and Marks were playing poker.
The former sat in splendid luck. He
won $ ! ) on three trays and a $15 lack-pot
on a pair of aces. Marks stood the drain
as long as ho could , and then said :
"Vcoping Rcbeccal Levy , I'd rather
have your luck than a license to steal. "
"O , can 1 knock the champion outV"
Some rising slugger cries ;
He "reads the answer In tlio stars"
That dance before his eyes.
"Chestnuts ! " yelled several persons in
the gallery at the minbtrol show , "Thai's
right , gentlemen/1 responded Bones ;
"if you don't got what 3-011 want usk for
it. "
When a Virginia mountaineer wants a
chew of tobacco , this ( according to ono
who has been there ) is'thu way he asks
for it : "Stranger , gimme n chaw yor
black Hut chawin' terbaekor ; tlmt is , of
yer uliaw. 1 dnnno of ycr chaw or no ;
do yor chaw ? "
PAPER BARRELS.
Successful Adaptation of Pulp to an
Important Induntry.
Now York Tribune : The growing
scarcity of the timber supply has given
rise to thu serious question of how to
produce packages for oil , liquors and
similar substances which will meet the
demands of the market. This question
has at dillcront times during the
last twenty years led to various ut-
tempts to produce a paper barrel
which would answer all the purposes for
which tliu wooden barrel is used. These
attempts , however , liavo been attended
witli no practical success until recently ,
when a barrel was produced from paper
pulp which seems destined to supersedes
the wooden article. Its general appear
ance is Hint of the common wooden bar
rel thickly vnrnlslied , while only five
pieces are used in making it. It is bound
with ordinary wooden hoops , and the
head Is of ono piece , so constructed that
it ills Into the barrel air-tight and is held
firmly in place by A hoop without the use
of nails. Thu body ; is seaming , and the
inforlot and o\tepr | are ar ! Mtl With a ,
substance which ronderd tlio barrel im
pervious to moisture , ho that liquids of
all kinds can be transported In it without
loss. It is also Ivory strong and still' , not
easily broken , ilndns the nature of lha
compressed pnp/'r is such tlmt neither
dry nor damp weather aft'ecta it , the con
tents retain all .thoif . r.romiUic qualities ,
There are numerous other excellent
qualities claimed for this barrel.
On January 25 Thomas Dougherty , the
chin ! flour inspector of the ISow iork
produce exchange , certified that ho had
inspected ICO barrels of flour which had
been shipped from a distance In these
paper barrels and hud found 1115111 to bo
nil sound. It generally Happens when
flour is shipped in wooden barrels that ti
quiuitity ol it sifts through the cracks
where tlio staves join and is lost. It was
found by weighing the Hour shipped in
paper barrels tlmt none of it had been
lost in this manner.
Tlio inventors of this process for mak
ing these barrels say that the weeds and
rank grasses which growon the meadows
Iving between Jersey City and Newark
will produce nn excellent pulp for this
purpose , and that thus these practically
waste lauds may bo made productive and
profitable. The cost of manufacturing
the paper barrels is no greater than tlmt
of making the wooden article , and with
the patented machine it is said that two
men nan produce 000 barrels In * day.
HUSBANDS AND HELPMEETS ,
How to Draw Prizes in TLo Greatest of
All Life's Lotteries.
HEAD AND HEART HAPPINESS.
Hands Tlmt Never dlioultl nn .Tolncil
MarrlnRo of Literary People
Considerate- Couples Weil-
cling Ceremonials.
Not Heads , Imr lloartR.
"Thotnnn I many must wealthy be , "
Tlio inalurn said ;
Anil planned licrmarilngo delightfully
Within her bend.
" 1'ho girl 1 mnrry must beiutaous be , "
ThoyouiiK man ( mitt :
And ho pictured her seductively
Within his head.
Hut on a dny did ttio maiden find
Ono n'nn ' to bo
L'lio ouly want ot her heart and mind ,
And Door was hn
And ono day was the man ImpicsscJ
OncKlrl to naln
Who nlono could brine to him joy and rest ,
And she wns plnin.
Thus both discovered tliclr matches wrought
Not by tlio licnd ,
IHit that , awaking In ways iinthought ,
'TIs hearts that wed.
AYlicro Iliinlmndt nro Considerate.
Atlantu Conslitntlon : If a girl must
ninrrv , aud aBrooklynmnn comes along ,
wo ailviso her to take him.
In Brooklyn husbands know their
duties , and when they fail to coino up to
tlio mark they acknowledge their short-
coinings and clamor for punishment ,
Take a recent case. A young nitm ap
peared In a 'Brooklyn court , tlio other
iluy , nnd nsked the judge to liavo him ar
rested. Ills honor demanded an expla
nation , and thu visitor stated that ho had
been guilty of cruelty to his wife. When
pressed for particulars lu > said that while
hu had notboatnn his wlfo or neglected
her for tiio llowlnir bowl , ho had boon
cruel to her from financial standpoint.
In other words , ho had not given her
money enough to properly sui > port her.
1'urttior questioning developed the fact
that his wife had preferred no charge
against him. After thinking the matter
over the judge bcgced the young man to
co homo and give himself another trial.
The advice was accepted and the culprit
loft the court room.
Now taking it for Granted that this
young man was an average Urooklyn
TmsbanJ , the case is rich in suggestions.
Let a wife have a proper amount of linn-
ness and enterprise , and it is plain that
such a husband would bo a bonanza to
her. If these soft hearted Urooklvn men
do not come into great demand all over
the country it will bo because our girls
are not looking after their interests. The
incident is full of encouragement. It
gives us glimpses of the model husband
of the future.
Vrencli Marriages.
London Truth : It is curious how
French grandee's , who have really no ad
vantage to win by glaring publicity.conrt
it. Ono sees this most perhaps , in their
weddings. The rule seems to be faire
autant d'cnvicux as possible. Everything
the bride receives from her family or
friends is exhibited. There arc CMiibi-
bitions of her trousseau at the warerooms -
rooms of the different trades people who
have furnished it. Everything is on view
no matter how it may bo named or to
what use it is destined , and the public
are apprised through the journals in re
clames paid for at the rate of5 francs a
line , whore the things arc on exhibi
tion. All the modes gather around
the tables , and shallow and
elegantly ribboned baskets in winch the
intimate clothing is laid out. The demi-
mondn never falls to visit a show of this
kind. English lingcrps have rot the as
tonishing skill in getting up body linen
in which tliero is nothing but a very small
allowance of cambric , and a very largo
allowance of iine valoncienncs. There
is then the body "liners , " made of tussore
or foulard silks and lace and ribbon.
You SPO it all in costly trousseau. It used
to bo the thing for brides of high lineage
to have quakcr-liko underclothing , but
under the full blaze of journalism it has
pone out , and is now thought old-fash
ioned and no credit to anyone.
The grand exhibition is at the matinee
do contrat , to which only relatives , ac
quaintances and the press arc invited.
The journalists are requested to note the
"objects do picto" on the bride's gift
table ; that iswhan they are in sumptuous
or very artistic settings. For instance , a
scrap of the veil in which the Virgin
was churched , or nn atom of the crown
of thorns set in a .jeweled reliquary , is an
object to bo proud of. The prayer book
should be in the style of Anne do
Brotagae's , Nojliius appoijrs better
than I'ioty bending Mammon to its ser
vice.
A Peculiar WeddtUK Service.
Fayetto ( Mo. ) Advertiser : The follow
ing marriage ceremony uniting an csti-
mablo colored couple , was performed by
"tho Hov. Berry , bro. Robinson of the
Baptist church , cullud. " After securing
the usual promises from the "young
couples what had aroson up bcforo him
on that dny , a-wishin to bo nitod in the
holy odenoy of wedlook , " the Rev. Berry ,
wltii glasses across his nose , head thrown
majestically back and a little twisting , an
old ragged testament hold aloft , and
with an expression as miblimo and
solemn as a rock , repeated the following
original version of the Lord's prayer :
"Thy kingdom come , Thy will bo done ,
on earth us it is done in heaven ; do you
so promise me as to live together in the
holv odunoy of wedlock as Jacob , Isaac ,
and Becky. Civn us this day our daily
broad , as wo forgive our debtors , and I
pronounce yon man and wife , and lead
us not into temptation , and if there bo
any man present what objects why these
young couples shall not bo nitcd in the
holy odoncy of wedlock lot them now
forever speak or hold their peace , for
Thinn is the kingdom undtho power and
the glory , amen I'
Should Ijitorary I'eoplo Marry ?
Chicago Times : It ia not a now ques
tion as to the advisability of marriage on
tlio part of pcoplo who depend wholly on
their brains forlhcir support , ami it is
quito possible that all there & to bo said
tititwl it lins been said over and over
again. It is , however , a subject of ever-
present interest , a fact which may justify
KuiiKi further allusions.
In one of the great religious denom
inations it was found , after a long ox-
poricnco in the case of its priests , tliut
celibacy was conducive to thu produc
tion of higher results than marriage ,
and therefore the former condition was
adopted and made obligatory. The
reasons for the enforcement of a celibate
life were few but potent ; thu cares of a
family interfered with the performance
of duty. The husband and father had
little opportunity to act as a priest ; iho
excelled in the ono capacity , ho failed in
the other.
Literature has its priesthood , whoso
ministrations arc us vital , as important
Tmd as imperative- their demands as
those of any religious denomination.
More so , In fact , for literature embodies
in its extent all that is valuable in human
progress , divine intent and action ; it as
sists in thu development of all the bene
ficial efforts of humanity , and records
and preserves Its proceedings.
To perfectly perform this colossal , del
icate and unending labor , and to do it
well , requires on the part of Its servants
a singleness of purpose , a clearness of
thought , an exactness in judgment which
can not exist whore the external intlu-
onccs are permitted to Lntermintrio. The
priest who ministers ut the altar of litera
ture muit devote hla. entire thought , her
devotion , to the ahrlno at which ho wor
ships , Ho cannot , in the sacred precincts
of tlio sanctuary , turn aside to haggle
over the price of poultry , to cheapen tno
cost of fuel , to wrangle over the outlay
for laundry work or the monthly stipend
of domestic service.
The literary man and woman are ut
terly nnliko everybody else ; they have
their special tomporamenls.thoir individ
ual idiosyncrasies , their peculiar methods
of thought , their positive sympathles.nml
dislikes. To yoke n man of this kind
with nn ordinary woman is not only to
impair his capability to carry on his
work , but it to to fasten on him a life of
wretchedness. The same is true of the
literary woman. Ally her to the average
man , nnd she is at once provided with n
ball nnd chain which she must drag nt
every stop of her progress. While neither
the literary man or woman can , with
benefit , marry outside of the profession ,
it is moro dangerous find deleterious to
marry within it. The most undoMrablo
of iiniong are those in which two literary
people resort to marriage , the case of the
Brownings lo.tho contrary notwithstand
ing. Where there has been ono instance
of Brownitiglsm in matrimony there have
boon a thousand cases in which the direct
opposite has been the result.
The explanation is very simple. A
husband nnd wife tluvotcu to literature
clash eternally on the same plane. It is
n case of an encounter of the invincible
nnd thu irresistible. The essential ( infer
ences of sex begot irreconcilable antagon
ism ; the respective Idimla projected by
each necessarily dill'er as do masculine
strongtli and fuininlnu delicacy. Thov
can not ngreo ; it is a union without af
finity , a mechanical composition without
cohesion in the particles. In the in
stance of literary men and women who
marry outside of their domain , thcro is
often moro happiness to bo found than
within , nnd vet the rttlo is that such
unions are disastrous. It is especially so
with women of brains who select : i part
ner from out of tlio masses ; there are
morodlvorced literary women in existence
than there are wives of tlio same pro
fession This class of woman , if she
marries ono of her kind , seeks for intellec
tual domination over her husband ; if she
secures it , she despises him for his weak
ness ; if she loses it , she hates him ns a
tyrant.
The literary husband witli a wife not
in sympathy with him is rarely happy ,
and never able to accomplish thu com
plete intellectual results that he would if
unincumberod by such a burden. Ho is
demoralized by domestic wrangles , and
want of sympathy , and incensing con
tact with the commonplace. In view of
all these facts , it is best that the literary
people should determine on celibacy.
To marry is to commit intellectual Imra-
kari ; lo diminish largely the utility of a
life's services , nnd to add vastly lo the
unhappincss of the participants.
HE LASSOED A HUGE LION.
A. Cowboy's Terrible Hide With a
Screaming I'antiicr.
"bast summer , while in Wyoming , I
had a decidedly startling adventure , " re
marked a young man the other day In the
presence of a ban Francisco Call repor
ter. And subsequently , upon bcimi ques
tioned by the latter , ho told the following
remarkable but well-authenticated tale :
I was in the employ of a cattle com
pany in short "a cowboy" and besides
a natural love of adventure , which J had
gratillcd for several years , had , no doubt ,
imbibed some of that spirit of utter reck
lessness which characterizes the class of
which I was , tor the time being , a mem
ber. Early ono bright morning my em
ployer sent me out to look lor some
horses which had strayed , he thought ,
somewhere in the vicinity of Lance creek
( about 200 miles north of Cheyenne ) , only
a few miles from where wo were then
camped.
Mounted on my stout little broncho , or
"cow pony , " I soon reached the crook ,
and rode slowly along its banks , keeping
n sharp lookout for the missing animals.
The banks of the creek wore fringed
with cotton wood and ponlar trees , inter
mingled with clumps of osiers and a
dcnso undergrowth , but on either side
the country was open but hilly. Expe
rience had taught mo to bo suspicious of
any tree or bush in that section largo
enough to ambush a human being ; for ,
to say nothing of the white desperadoes ,
Sioux and Clioycnno Indians from the
Pine llidgo agency were frequently mot
with , and , though professedly at peace ,
were not to DO trusted. Consequently , as
I rode along , I from time to tlmo peered
anxiously in among the trees and under
brush.
I had followed the course of the creek
several miles when suddenly my pony
snorted nnd jumped to ouo side , almost
unseating mo. Perhaps ten paces in
front of mo , crouched as if ready to
spring , were three large mountain lions.
I had always had a great dcsiro to meet
ono of those creatures in his native
wilds ; but this was a trillo too much of a
good thing to suit mo. Without u sec
ond's thought , however , I whipped out
my Colt's revolver the only weapon I
had and lircd at tlio croup. At the re
port of my pistol two of them bounded
oil' through tlio underbrush and were
soon out of sight , and the other , uttering
a shrill scream , writhed for a second on
the ground and then attempted to follow
his companions , limping badly.
My blood was up ; two of the fine crea
tures had taken flight and without reflec
ting upon the possible consequences I
put spur to my pony and dashed after
the wounded lion. Moving so rapidly I
knew it would bo impossible to shoot
with accuracy , and there was great dan
ger of the lion turning upon mo if I np-
nronchcd too near. .Suddenly it Unshed
through my mind. A > by can't I lasso
him as I have heard of gauchos doing on
the pampas ?
Attached to my saddle was my braided
rawhide lasso , about forty feet in length ,
in the use of which 1 hiuf , ns every cow
boy must , become quite nrolicient. Ono
end of it was ( irmly attached lo the pom
mel of my saddle , and the remainder of
it carefully coiled up , was tied to the
front of the saddle by means of a couple
of rawhldo strings or thongs. Hastily
unfastening tlio latter without chock
ing my pony which wustivluontly much
excited , and inclined to sheer nway from ,
the lion I prepared for the thr-o'w. 1
had used my Insso so siuch frequently
doing JilU < 2 Giso but lasso or "ropo" oat-
Us for Weeks together , and it was but the
work of n moment. Carefully measuring
the distance with my eye , I whirled thu
lasso several times nrountt my head and
at what seemed the proper moment let
Jly. The instant it left my hand my
pony , as ho had been trained , stopped
and braced back , almost upon his
haunches. My calculations had been
correct ,
I saw the rope settle around the lion's
neck nnd thu next instant , when ho
reached the end of it , and tightening , it
threw him on hU back , ho uttered the
most appalling scream it was over my lot
to hoar. Tlio instant the rope became
taut you may bo biiro I did not waste
any tlmo I wheeled my pony in the op
posite direction ; dug my spurs into his
side , and darted away , dragging the lion
after me. That , I am sim > , was the most
exciting moment of my life , I did not
stop to look back. 1 simply dujj the
spurs into my pony's llankj , knowing If
1 relaxed my sneed if for a instant , the
lion might spring upon me. Even ns it
wns I realized that at any moment I
might feel the creature's sharp claws in
my buck ; and the particular manner in
which a mountain lion is said to kill ( by
drawing back thu head of its victim with
ono paw until the neck is broken ) hap
pened nt this moment to occur to mo. It
was not , strictly speaking , a cheering
reflection.
At the commencement of the mad gal
lop when on uovurnl occasions the lasso
slackened , owing to the huge bounds the
creature took , I shuddered aud croucho4
in my saddle , fearing that the nnxt nun
ute might bo my last. For a time ! my captive
tivo rent the air with his cries , which so
frightened my pony that 1 soon saw thai
I need not urge him ; ho was doing Lla
level best.
Soon Ihf screaming grow less frequent
and linally censed altogether , and I
noticed with satisfaction that the Jnsso
remained perfectly taut all the time. I
then for the lirst tlmo looked back nnd
from appearances concluded that my
captive was dead. I had , however , IH
can perhaps bo imagined , a strong desire
sire to make assurance doubly sure , and
rode some distance further before stop
inc.Even
Even then I was In no hnslo to dis
mount until I had ridden around thu
huzo cat several times , and assured my
self beyond all doubt that ho was dead
lie proved to bo a fine specimen , mras
nrlng a little over four feet from snout
to tall root ( his tall measured twonty-slx
Inches ) , but the long drag 1 had given
him , fully half a mile 1 should say , l-ad
almost spoiled his skin. The lasso had
worn completely through the akin around
the nock , and burled Itself In the tlo.sh
indeed I believe if I had dragged him
much further it would have ducapltntud
him completely.
TolCBPnph Operators' Secret * .
Electric Ago-JEvcry telegrapher will tell
you how operators quarrel over the wire.
The men who are the most quiet nnd gen *
tlomanly in their personal relations are
sometimes the most disagreeable to work
with. It is so easy , you know , to call a
man a fool when several hundred miles
of wire separate you , nnd , besides , tlio
fear of the consequences is very slight
I shall never forgot an amusing fight I
once hcnid between an operator atXonia ,
Ohio , and another at Cincinnati. After
each had exhausted his vocabulary of
billingsgate the operator at Cincinnati
suddenly subsided and refused to con-
tlliuo the contest , whereupon Xonia
snapped out :
'What's tlio difTorcncn between you
nnd a jackass ? " Quick as a Hash came
the reply : "Just sixty miles. Give mo a
hauler one. "
"Is it true , " asked ono of the bystand
ers , "that nn operator's mood may bo
determined by his manner of using the
key ? "
" 13oyond a doubt , " was the reply. "If
you have been in the habit of working
regularly with a man you can toll before
you exchange half a dozen messages
whether ho is feeling fresh and buoyant ,
tired or lazy or out of sorts by his man
ner of transmission. Thcro is as much
individuality about a man's sending us
about his penmanship , and ho can bo as
readily distinguished by it. A case in
point is related by Alf Savillo , who
worked ono of the government wires bo-
twccn Nashville and Louisville during
thu war. Ono day , while the wires were
idle , some ono at an intermediate station
called at the Nashville oilieo and began
asking Savillo a number of questions
about the movement of troops and other
matters connected with the army. De-
fore two minutes Savillo recognized his
man.
" ' 1 say , George Ellsworth , what the
devil uro you doing there ? " Hashed Sa-
vllle , cutting into the middle of a sen
tence. Thcro was a moment's pauso.
and then came the answer slow and
hesitatingly :
" 'I 'cut in' on the wire two days ago ,
and have secured a good deal of information
mation , but I might have got more if I
had only kept my mouth ( key ) shut.
Good-by , Alf. I am going. ' There was
a sudden click of the wire , and then the
circuit closed.
"Ellsworth was the celebrated con
federate operator who accompanied John
Morgan In his raids through Kentucky
and Ohio. Savillo and ho had worked
together before the war , and had become
familiar with each other's stylo. "
FOR NEURALGIA.
XB-fleralar ci\ficar \ utalemfnli confirming
If * cjkucv of St. Jacolft OH and ill permantM
turci , ai e guen below.
Neuralgia and ParalysU-Nov. , 1080-Cured.
SprlnqfleM , Tcnn.
My wife suffered 18 mouthawltfi noural-
cm imj paralysis. Iliad to rnuvo bcr In
DoJ. ana could Ilml no relief. Hy Ibotlint
eho ha'l used two thlrrti of a bottle of St.
Jacob's Oil the could unit.
JOS. P. MURPHEY.
From Same 0 Yeari Lalar Pirmanent Curo.
SprliiRfluld , Tenn. . Oct. 17 , J8SO ;
My wlfo was pnrnlyiud nnd could not
walk a step. Before I used a bottle of 8L
Jacob's Oil nbo was nbout the house. Bhi
It now , > ntlroly wall ; does all the bous *
vrorlc ana milking too.
too.jo8.p.MaitrnEY. .
From a Sclallo Sufferer Nov. , 1080 Curod.
Scott Depot , I'utuam Co. . W. VB.
When I got St. Jacob * Oil to me I wai In
bed with sciatica ; now I am going about
the room with eoao. Before I cot It I
could not bo moved. I wont to the Btablo
to-day. THOMAS a'ORMKV ;
From Sim * 0 Yjari Later-Permanent Cure.
Soolt Depot , Futtiam Co. , W. Va. . Oct. ai , 18M.
I WM twelve dayi on mr back with
rheumatism in thu hip. Nothing rtliered
me till I got a bottle of 6U J colj Oil.
Three times ) nibbing and I wtu able ( a
irulk ; and It finally cured mo ,
TU03. TOKMEY.
Kenralffln , niieumntlsni.Spasmi , Oared ,
Tower 11111 , Appomntox Co. . Vn , Nov. , 1680.
I hail eumircd your * with uouralglu and
rheumatism dny atid night with acute
pains and itpasm * . I wns nd vised to try tit.
Jacob * Oil , which caused all Jialnj to ccu
and tbo system to revive.
ROBERT D. KYLE.
THK CIIAnLES JL. VOQELEK CO. , DulUmort , Ml.
* 3- All pntoni USINO St. Jacoti Oil or Rid
Siar Cough Cure , u ill by ttndlna a two-cent llama
and a hhlorv of thnrcatc , recelie AUVICJ : nixi
FllEE FROM OPIATES AND FOISOlt.
SAFE.
PROMPT.
iTDIlL'UOlSTS AKD DItLIIS.
tm cnims x. vootuu co Pi-Mimoni , BJ.
A. JL COMSTOCK ,
Q-enl. Insurance Agent
And Real KRtnto Broke r- ,
nslfflUvn JU J , Omnlig. Instirnncai
' ' . ; tollable comimnlaa Imlopondciitot
bouril ra'.oa ,
MEDICAL & SURGICAL INSTITUTE
Cor. 13lh ST. and CAPITOL AVE. . OMAHA , NEB.
But facilities , apnaratui anil remedies for tucccee.
fully irutlngnll Und of raedlca.Bndiurglculce e
WiiiTU roil Cjncuuiis on Dcformltlei and Uractiv
Clubl'cot , CJiinaturetif he Spine , II ( -i e of Wa
men. Pile * . 1'umor , Canccri , fatirrU , Ilroncbltlf.
l'iroJji ; , Epll i r , KidcrIlladdcr. . Eje , Ku
Bklnmid Jllood. * iul til HurcJca ! Opcrttlons.
PRIVATE CIRCULAR TO MEN
On I'rivite , Bncclnl on.l Ncrvoui DUcuci , Bom
InalWcakntiu.Biwrmatorrliaa.Inipotenry.Hyphillt ,
Oouorrhtes. aloct , Varlcocele , CJrnllo.Urliiiiri
ur ! s.i-i | yReiabelflED.sALiN' | | | |
STITUTE LUaUDt ; ft ijuclult/ tie ubtno-
named < lTieuei.
Hew HeitorallreTreatrocnt foe Lois ofVlt&l Power.
All Coxrioiooiand DIOOD JJisriirt frum wbtt-
orer CAUK produced , eucctufully tri-ilcd without
ncrcury. Medlclnci or Iu tiumeuti cut L/ mall
r ; exnreti , t .ciirclj packed from obcervatlon.
Cill aud con < ult i > , or nciid Lltturr of cme , wlih
: lctap. All communlratloni Ulctljr confldcntltl.
Kfl linny ? rorUnof patlcuti. Ilo rdand tteud ,
UU llUUnO anea reanonikhle. Addruanlllettrri V
OMflHA HEDISfiL & ? , URGICfiL INSTITUTE ,
Oor.iathSt.O BlloJAv . . r -
YPE WRITERS ,
T bought , tola or DxohatMiiKl on moil liberal
aiU ttroii. ( loud machlaMfor * l < i at bait drtlcott.