10 THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY DECEMBER . 18SG.---TWELVE PAGES.
CHEERING WORDS FOR WOMEN
1 ' 'ifOnlj the Heart is Pure and LiRbt , You
Are Pretty Enough to Wed. "
THE NAMES OF WOMEN.
Tail-it for Knowlc-dKC 'I lie Ser
vant Girl and Wa es The Cloilics
of .Japanese lfls TliM
Greek Maiden.
1C Only The llpiut IH I'uro.
1Mif Iflnnt ,
ileio Is a question tlio maidens are aski
How can wo mnko ourselves fair ?
Ono thinks that her cheeks nro a little too
fed *
Another is mizzllnc her pretty head ,
To know how to curl her straight hair.
This lassie's checks nro a little too pale ;
llowr-ati shetnako ilium red'.1
Anil this lltlli ) lady's hand * nro nnt quite
As smooth and Mundnr and Mm and \\hlto
"As u lady's should be , " shu saiit.
And tills ono thinks slio's a trlllo lo plump ;
Another ono thinks she's too small ;
Jkr Ifcth aio not < julle as pretty as pearls ;
And what shall we do for these poor , poor
ulrl.s
That cannot bo ham ) } ' at all' . '
And 1 , who look nt tliniu , cannot sou
Why they mo dissatlsnud.
They look flko a Kimluii oi roses In bloom ;
Vet over them nil thcro Is restlnc the u'loom
Of some fancied beauty denied.
The mystical scciet is mine to Impart ;
Llsle.li , all who covet the power
Of beauty's magic : The wonderful art
Xli' . down in tno depths of a m-ntto heart ,
And .shines Irom the eyes every hour.
The hands that do riiailly's senile deeds
Arc white as the minors above :
And whether the cheeks be losy or lidr ,
If Innocent blushes and health bo there ,
They arc pietty enough to love.
Jf over the beautiful lips , dear
Hut Auntie words HIU said :
And whether tlie fonn be plump or slight ,
I f only the heart Is pure and light ,
Von ale pietty enough lo wed.
Tin : Names of Women.
Civc your daughter but ono name in
baptiMii. She will bo perfectly * content
with it. Her lover never requires , never
uses but ono ot her names , if siio has
half a do/.en. In Iho height ol his tender
ness he never exclaims : "Amelia Jane ,
come to my arms ! " Ilo simply extends
Ins arms and cries. "Amelia ! When the
yirl marries lot her always keep her sur
name. Then , whenever wo see a
woman's name , we shall know whether
ehc is married or single ; and if she is
jnarried wo shall know wiiat her family
name is. If .she has earned a reputation
as a writer or doctor , or an LL. 1) ) . , as
Mary lirown , she will carry that with her
IIH Mary lirown .Johnson ; and in all
cases tiiero will bo spared an infinite
amount of talk and inquiry as to who she
was before she was married. This system
is c.ss"ntial to the cause of woman. It
may ho said lha t it lacks perfection in
two respects ; wo could not tell from the
three names whether the bearer of them
might not be a widow , and it makes no
provision for a second marriage. These
lire delicate questions. In regard to the
Jirst it is nobody's business to know
whether the woman is or is not a widow ,
unless she chooses to make the fact
f prominent , and then she has \vay.s enough
to emphasize it. And in the second
place it does not at all mutter what be-
COHRM of the name of her lir.-L husband.
It is the woman's identity that is to bo
preserved , And she cannot bo required
to sol up mile stonc.s along her new life.
Aunahclla is not Annabclhi , or fair
Anna , but the feminine of Hannibal ,
inclining gift ( or grace ) of Hoi. Arabella
i.s not Arabella , or beautiful altar , but
Orabilla. a pra.ying woman. In its an-
gllci/.ud form of Orabel it , was much more
common in the thirteenth conturylthan at
Itroscnt. Maurice lias nothing to do with
lUaurithiB , or a Moor , but comes from
Almario-him.neireieh , the kingdom of
Iieavcn. Kllen is Iho feminine name of
Alain , Alan or Allan , and has no possible
connection with Helen , which comes
from a diflbrcnl language , and is older
by 1,000 years at least. Amy is not from
nmcc , but from amio. Avicc or Avis ,
iloen not signify advice , as some think.
It comes from ,1'Mwis , and means happy
wisdom. Eliza has no connection with
Kli/.aboth. It is the sister ot Louisa , and
both arc daughter- ; Hcloiso , which is
Ilalowis , hidden wisdom. Them is in
deed another form of Louisa , or rather
Louise , which i.s the feminine ol Louis ,
but thi.s was scarcely heard of before the
slxluonlh century. Kmily and Amelia
are not diflorcnt forms of ono numo.
Hmily ie from jlCmylia , the name of an
Etruscan gens. Amelia comes from the
( iothle tunalin , heavenly. Koginald is
not derived from Kogina , and has noth
ing to do with a ( jueen. It is Hem-alt ,
exulted purity. Alieo , Adelias , Adelaide ,
All/.a , Alls , Adalino are all lorms of ono
name , the loot of which is adol , noble .
lint Anna was never used as identical
with Annis or Agnes ( of which lasl the
old .Scottish Annas is a variety ) ; nor , as
Su KtunVily maintained , was Elizabeth
ever synonymous with Isabel.
A Creel ; Maiden ,
J. . / . Iliitlim.
A vision of dream and liihl : and bliss
Hweot c.irved lips fora cniniuurcr'ri kiss ,
jMl > s with the red pomegranate heart ,
That somewhat pouted a little apart ;
Jlulrns n Heck
Of llvhle.an honey aeioss the while
Of brow and bosom ; oycs as niglit ,
Yes , daik , moist oye.s with a core of lire ,
A wondrous ; ; llnt fiom the .soul's desire ,
With a slim ; In their ray.
Jlonuty lhal roupcd and dn/ed with its sheen ,
Vor never a fnlrer woman I wei'ii ,
In tout of peasant , on dais of < ] iu'un ,
IVus liiirboicd or boused ; or man had seen ,
Hy nlglit or by day.
ThlfNt. Tor ICnowIeil ; o.
Harper's Hn/nr : After all the best nr-
ouimmt for the education of woman will
bo that which ( ionoral Dovens porhajis
Inadvertently suggested ( in his address at
the Harvard ( | nar'.or-niiilonnml ' celebra
tion ) ; that she is among those- who thirst.
Kvory iirgumunl and illustration used in
the very nblo , though perhaps somewhat
discursive address of 1'rof. Lowell logic
ally included her ease also. When ho
disputed the well-worn proverb and
pointed out that there were animals
whom ono man could by no means lead
to the water ho Implied an argumcdt for
these thir.sty ones who huvo not hitherto
boon oven led. but only- kept away.
\Vhen ho said thatspe.elal aptitudes could
bo left to themselves , but that a college
should experiment on the latent possibil
ities of tlio average mind , the remark was.
peculiarly * applicable to thai atix whoso
1 ulolloclual possibilities , if only average ,
Uavo at least been loft latent by com
pulsion. \ \ hen ho hold < : p to
admiration those old Now Knglamt
divines who , on their scanty
palarius , contrived "lo scud their son's
through college , poriion Ihoirdaughtors.
decently trained in Knglish litoraturn of
the inoro serious kind , and perfect in the
duties of household ami dairy , "ho sug
gested the question whether it is not pos
sible for the fathers of to-tiny to make
inoro equal provision for llieir oUspring.
If wo may trust Abigail Adams , this
"JCnglish literaluro ot the inoro serious
kind,1' ' had very definite limitations ; for
she says of her youthful day. inn letter
written thu year before her death (1817) ( ) ,
v ; . "Fomalo education in iho best families
went no further than writing and iirlth-
jnotiojln aomo few and raru instances
iniisio and ilancing. "
It always comes back to iho same
thing. What will always stump with un-
Kcnc.rousiU's the whole history of man's
relation to Women U thai iho backward
ness which tro long marked Iho higher
female education 1ms not been the result
of neglect so much as of restriction
Iho repression of a thirst , the refusal to
let a large poriion of the human race
drink ntltho fountain , be they ever . o
I'Mtror. Abigail Adams tells \\a \ in an
other letter ( Juno " 0 , 1778) ) lhat knowl
edge in women was not mcrly neglect
ed , bul ildiculed up to that time. One
would have llioughl that Iho alleged
inferiority of woman's intclcets would
have been of itself a reason for greater
aid , such us has always been conceded to
weakness of body ; that men would have
stood ready to help them into the way
of knowledge , as into a vehicle , by the
stronger arm. 1 have always tried to
convince myself that John Stuart Mill
went too far In his theory of w.hat ho
calls "the subjection of women. " 1 have
held that man's position was ahvay.s
what may be called the big-brother attitude
tude- certain substantial protection ,
joined with a good dual of clumsy teas-
tng and bullying on lliu way. Hut thu
thing that strains tins defense ( lie most
has been man's attitude as to thu cduea-
lion of women Hi" fact that her love of
knowledge has been directly repressed ,
her thir.-'l treated us a crime. All tins
line theories of chivalry and gallantry
break down before thu plain fae'l pointed
out by Mr. and Mrs. Fuwoett , In Kngluud ,
and , equally true here , that it is harder
loraiso a given sum for the education of
women than four times as much for that
of mm. Hut the time is fast coming
when Iho spiritual promise shall for her
be fiilllllcd and she shall thirst no inoro.
Tlio Servant , Girl and Wage" .
Ilrooklyn Union : There is a discussion
going on in tlio New York papers ami , in
.some of the London weeklies of a subject
In which al least three-lift Its of the people
of Brooklyn arc interested , and about
which they can , without boasting , claim
to know soinelliing the servant girl
again. The want that she does not sup
ply continues in drive housewives to
boarding-houses and to cause the ratio of
marriages and births to the population
in all urban communities ( o decrease.
Thu itisulltutancy and the inelliciuncy of
domestic servants in American cities is
llm only evil of half such magnitude
Unit has not provoked the organisation
of a society for thi ) prevention or for thu
advaueement ot something.
Thu present sy tum of domestic service
pre.sunl.s a curious anomaly- . Housekeep
ing i.s becoming more and more n bur
den ; thu proportion of unlive domestics
to the whole number i.s smaller , perhaps ,
than ever before ; yet tlio wages are
higher than over before , and higher Ihan
women receive for any other sort of man
ual labor , and higher than most receive
for labor of any kind. Many' a robust
woman gets $1(1 ( a month and board and
lodging in Brooklyn a.s a servant ; and
many a woman who makes her living by
teaching receives loss. The cost of do
mestic service i.s ludicrously out of pro
portion to the co.st of other labor which
rcijiiircs the sumo qualities and skill.
Yet the supply becomes less and the de
mand greater in spite of the fact that the
number of women who have to earn their
own living continues lo increase and
wages for all other kind of labor that
they can do become loss. This i.s thu
anomaly whiuh needs explanation.
It may seem absurd lhat a woman
should sew fifteen hours a day far ! ? ' ! or
$ ! a week when , if she be strong and
have no small children , she iniirht earn
thu samu wages and her board and
lodging besides as a domestic. Hut , ab
surd as it may bo , it is not inexplicable.
The imprint of .servitude remains on thu
house servant , a.s it docs not on the
teacher , or even on thu seamstress , and
rather thanhave , three good meals a day
in the kitchen of mistresses most
American women prefer lo have fewer
meals and less wholesome ones in their
own homos. It is because of the pride of
American women that thu serving class
of Europe has a monopoly- American
kitchens. The time is coming when more
and mure hoiisuwivcs will have to do
without domestics , either by becoming
their own servants or giving up house
keeping , or they will have to rumovu
from domestic service thu survitudo
which now attaches to it. Then , of
eour.se , such service would cease to bu
"help. " and become asjislanco.
In so far as tins is a part of the labor
problem it throws some light on the
cauo of a good deal of discontent which
is falsely accredited lo questions of wages
and hours of work. It is really a ques
tion of social distinction. An American
man or woman may not care at all lo eat
at Hie samu table with another man or
woman , nor to bo considered llicir
'Voeial equal , " as the southern people
say in dehn'mgtlio samu feeling between
thu races ; but American men and women
do not like to place themselves in suuh a
relation lo other men and women as con
tinually to emphasize a social distinction ,
about which , a.s an abstract.on , they may
care nothing. The servant-girl problem
resolves llsoll into this last that wo must
put , servant and mistress on the same
social lovol--whon , ol course , "servant"
and "mistress" would disappear , and ono
become simply an assistant to the other
or wo must continue to pa3' an anomal
ous price for domestic service , which in
itself would be cheap enough , but Iho
willingness to sufFer thu social distiiiclion
which .such service now carries with it ;
and it i.s the growing scarcity of this will
ingness , whether it bo "right'1 ' or
"wrung , " absurd or wise , that explains
tliis economic anomaly.
The ( JlollicH ilapanc.sR OlirlH.
lialtimoro News : Japanese young
men of fashion visit iho gins just as they
do in this country , take them out to
restaurants and till Ihem up with ice
cream. They havu balls and parlies
where wall/Jug is indulged in ad libitum.
The wallx , how-over , is a recent innova
tion , but i.s liked by the Japauusu exceed
ingly. Tlio costumes of the ladies in .Ja
pan are more in consonance , with Ihe
dre.ss reform movement than those of
American and European girls. First of
all no corset i.s worn. Thu long silk sash
.supplies thu placu of steel and whalo-
lioius , This sash is wrapped round
and round lliu waift loosely , and
the ends hangs down behind. Thuro
is no largo , elaborate bow pinned
against thu back like thosu seen in the
representation of " .Mikado , " on our
slugo. Koine of Iho ultra-fashionable
girls of Tohio however , havu adopted a
method of making their waists look
.smaller , according to thoKuropoau mode
but no cornut is used simply a belt
buckled around Iho waist. Thu ladies
r.ro fond ot picking the strings of the
banjo , and are up lo thu times in a fash
ion whluh has been greatly in vogue
among American girls. Japanese girls
attire tlusinsolvus in pretty much the
samu underwear as Amuriean girls , bul
thulr Blockings are built moru on thu or
der of a mitten for Ihu hand , lliyrc being
a separalo receptacle for the big inc. A
very curious faot thu reporter gleaned
from the interpreter was this : The Jupa-
nesu think that all Europeans have very
old typos of faces.
Tlio llenl Tiling Is.Muoli Hotter.
Alban3' Kvonmg Journal : KUuri by
telegraph are a novelty , and the testi
mony in Iho $5,000 broach of promise Mill
of Miss Junnio Davenport , of Blooming-
dale , N. .1. , against Louis Kyerson throws
somu light on thu art.
Jennie , who was employed as a Com
panion to young Kyortiun & mother , occu
pied the room immediately l < im < the
yoi.ng man , and Iho two constructed a
telegraph line , a cord answering for the
short eircuil. A Unv bell was attr.ohed to
each end. The tingling of the bull was
used lo ivprosunl a kiss , and when they-
bade each other good night the bolls rat-
lied for hours at time.
Thu fair plainlifl said , us she enthusi
astically described their schemes to out
wit the old peoplei "Louis { insisted on
telegraphing our kisses every night , and
.oh ! but didn't ho want a lot of them ! "
The majority of lovers will , however , bo
warned by thii sad end of the courtship to
'
beware ofklsslng'by electricity.
AMONG THE WITS AND WAGS ,
The Pate of Fanny Foo-Foo , Ohild of the
Great Tycoon ,
ANOTHER ON THE TRAIN BOY.
r .Mutr * nnil lloxliiR Gloves Tlio
liticlovliont Cnko and Other
Cnlcc Sharp 1'olnlH on
Various Slinms.
A Paper Muslin
I'anny Foo-I'oo was a.lntiaticsoglrl ,
A r Find of the irreat Tjcoon :
She wore her head b.ild and her clothes were
made
Malt pettico.it , half panlnloon :
Her face was the color ot lemon peel ,
And the shape of n tablespoon.
A handsome young chap was.lohnny Ill-Ill'
And no were paper muslin clothes ;
Ills glossy bliiok ludr on the ton or his head ,
In the shape of a shoo brnsii rose ;
Ills eyes slanted downwind as If some chap
Had savagely pulled his nose.
Fanny Koo-Foo loved .lolmn Ill-Ill ,
And when In the usual style
He popped , she blushed such a deep oranso
tlnce
You'd have thought she'd too nuioh bile.
If it hadn't been for her .slant-eyed clanco
And her charming wide-mouthed smile.
And olt In the bliss of their now born love
Did these little I'anans slray
All mound In spots , enjoying Ihcnisclvcs
111 n strictly Japanese way ;
She howlitiK a soiiii to n one-strliu : lute ,
Un which she thought she could play.
Often he'd climb to a high ladder's top ,
And quietly thuro tcposo
As ho stood on his head and fanned himself ,
U'hlli ! she balanecd him on her noic ,
Or else she would jret In a plekle tub ,
And be kicked around on bis toes.
Tim courea of true lovn , even In Japan ,
Often runs extremely rouiih.
And Iho llcrco Tycoon , when ho hcaidof
this.
Used Jananeso oaths so toii li
That his coutllers * hair would have slood on
end
If llie'y only had enough.
M ) Iho Tycoon buckled on both his swords ,
In Ids pistol placed a wad ,
And went out to hunt for the truant pair ,
With Ids nerves braced by a toil ,
He toiind them cnjoylni ; their guileless
selves
On the top ot a lightning rod.
Sternly he ordered the pontlo Foo-I'oo
To "come down and out of that there , "
And liu told Ill-Ill to uo to a place
i won't say precisely wheie.
Then ho drained elf Ids child , whoso spasms
Evinced unusually wild despair.
15ut the Tycoon , alas ! was badlv fooled ,
Despile his paternal pains.
For.lohn with a toothpick , lot all the blood
Out ol' bis jugular veins ;
While with a back .somersault on thu lloor
Foo-Koo battered out her brain ? .
They burled them both In the Tycoon's lot ,
Might under a doswooii tree.
Where they could list to the nightingale and
Tlio buzz of the bumble bee ;
And where the mosquito's sorrowful chant
Maddens the restless lieu.
And often at night when the Tycoon's wife
SI inn be red as sound as a post ,
His almond-shaped eyeballs looked on a slghl
That scared him to death almost ;
'Twas a bald headed spectre Ilittln about ,
With a paper muslin ghost.
Score Ono Against tin * Train Uov.
Chicago Herald : ' "Tain't o'ften
thai wo get left , " said a tram
boy'but "omolimes we have to
knuckle under. T'other day- had a pas
senger who refused to buy u thing. 1
Kcfit at him , and made a side-bet with the
brakeman that I'd fetch him for a lifty-
cent book before wo got to Chicago. Hut
what d'yo s'poso happened ? The chap
got Jfi out ot mo and my name on some
darned list or other. He was the agent
for some new-fangled life insurance con
cern , and 1 didn't sell him a cent's
worth. "
Made a Slight lUlstakc.
Merchant Traveler : Hilly Sellers , a
traveling man , was waiting for the St.
Louis girl iio was going to take to the
theater to put on bur wraps.
"Ah , " said he. as hcstra.ycd toward Iho
canter table , " 1 sec that some of folks
arc admirers of the manly art. To whom
do the boxing gloves belongy"
"Will you bo kind enough to hand mo
mull's have in ' hand "
my car you 3'our ,
she returned icil3' .
A chilliness then avoso between them
which has not yet been dispelled.
Where to Knok for Financial News.
Detroit Mercury : "There doesn't scorn
to bo much limmcial news "in tiie papers
nowa < lu.ys"suid Uigloans , with : i dissatis-
ik'il irrimt.
"Whom do you look for il ? " asked
Kecnsight ,
"Why , in the financial column , of
course. "
"Ah ! that accounts for it. "
"Where else would 1 looicV"
" 1 always scan the telegraph news un
der the head of "Mysterious Disappear
ances. ' "
Ijilcc tliu Mvory Snilile Stood.
Detriot 1'reo Press. "What'.s the speed
of that horsoV" was asked an old colored
man who was leading a had looking
eqiiino into a blacksmith shop ,
"Which way ? "
"Why , I don't see that it should make
any dilforonco which wa3 * his headed. "
"Dat's kasn 3-011 ( loan1 own him , sah.
Hi.s speed when he's gvyino homo jist
keeps a stop watch bobbin'all over , but
when ho comin' away from do ba'n 3-0
km cotch his time by a turbackor box. "
Didn't Wiuit a Train.
Detroit F.reo Press : Yesterday , after
Ulllcer Buttonal thu Third street .station ,
had called a train and most everybody
had loft the waiting room , ho approached
n middle-aged man who had boon silling
there or four hours and inquired :
"Is this your train1'
"tliicss not. "
"What train are you waiting for ? "
"Xono. "
"Oh ! 1 supposed you were going out ! "
"No , Mr. My-sou expects his wife i.s
going to run invuy from him , and mo and
the old woman and Sam are kinder
scattered around the depots to head her
oil' in cn.su she tries to slope. If she don't
como purl v soon I'll think sho's stnrtoil
'
out afoot , 'for she was terrible mad and is
a great walker. "
Uakt'i for Kvcryliody.
A downtown bailer who prides himself
upon the quality of his cakes advertises
thus :
For Iho pretty girl angel cako.
For the pugilist--pounil cako.
For the liyspoplic stomach cake.
For tha laborer back cako.
For the agriculturist boo cako.
For the rod headed girl ginger cako.
For Iho chiropodist corn cake.
For the boat sppngo caku.
Tor Iho impecunious man short cako.
Fur iho panignipher spice cnko.
Ileon Tlniro IJoforo.
. . . . When yon tell her she's the sweetest ,
'I ho iiroliiest i ml nualest
Mans jim'vu met , ami that the ground sha
walks on you aduro ,
if you hoard her murmur "HatsI"
Then bn very sure that thal's
A "isa lhal hho's no noentiyte , bul has boon
there botoio.
Uiuln't iho CJionk to Say Grace.
Tim Kovorond Mr. Chasuble.au Episco
pal clergyman , for seine time presided
over the rolli.'lous services in ono of our
suburban towns' . Cha-sublo was a good
deal of a gourmet as well as a faithful
pastor. ODD day ho happened in at a
parishioner's house about dinner time ,
end weakly' accepted uu invitation to
dinner. He found the table decorated
with n sporadic dish here and there , with
nothing that promised thfe smallest satis
faction for either thu appetite or the
palate.
"Mr. C'hn uble"shid.lhe head of the
hotite , "will yon ofler tlinnks for these
viands1 '
" 1 would beglad touropmmodatcyou , " '
said thu clergyman , "but I haven't got
the cheek.1' '
The niickwiicat Cake.
n. r. n.Hitr.
No dainty In win
ter for breakfast SUP
parses the eakes made
of buckwheat a-swlm-
mliiu in lassc.s and sliding
In batter as yellow nt gold , and
nothing Is like 'em to keen out thu
cold. How splendid tlmylook so ex
quisitely browned , all hot fiom the
gitdille , madoperleetly round , by Mol-
be , my Motile , who bakes 'em with
skill , and patiently waits till 1'vo eaten
my till. No wonder t love In the muinliiir lo
bear Iho breakfast bell rltn : out Its thlinus
oteheer. 1 dress in ajllTy and hurry ho-
low , where Molllo U greasing the grid
dle , 1 know. Iluirah for the winter
whoo frosliiies.s makes an appe
tite eager for hot buckwheat
cakes which , sliding in butter
and swimming In losses , is
something lor nreakfast
that nothing sur-
p a s s s c s .
Hill Travor's blotto.
A new story is told of W. U. Travcrs.
the wit of Wall street. His wife was one
daj' bringing a motto in their homo
which read , "Hod Hle < s Our Homo. "
"Let me put one in the other corner , "
said Mr. Travcrs. "What is the motto ? "
" 1 would like lo have tl read , 'And D n
Our Cook. "
The CtvlU/Ri * .
lloitun Cuiii'lfi :
' 'Us Hope that Ik'hts the way through
tiuuhlc'.s night ,
"I'ls llopo that cheered Hie world since time
began.
'Us &oap that makes our clothlm ; clean and
white.
"I'ls soap that civilizes payagu man.
Kprccknt.s' Hopeful Son.
A sou of Clans SnreckoLs , the Sand
wich island sugar millionaire , was deeply
fascinated with I'ay Templeton while she
was playing in San l-rancisco some years
ago , and ho presumed her with numerous
elegant and costly diamonds. The town
knew of Ins passion. Ono night the
funny man of the company- approached
Miss Temploton on the stage and , wetting
his linger : ) , touched one of her largest
diamonds and asked : "Paste ? " Quick
as a Hash she retorted : "No ! Sugar ! "
The whole house in an instant saw the
point , and a roar of laughter went up
such as never before or since has been
heard in 'Frisco.
The Original "Undo Tom. "
lie once was a slave , as black as a coal ,
And before the war he was bianded.
lie started "Undo ' ' "
up Tom's C'abin" troupe ,
Hut 'twub not very long ere it stiauucil.
The reason , 1 think , Is most plain to be seen ;
lie loved liquor ton well now.lhis man did ,
Brandy smash caused his Uoupe lo i-musli up ,
1 ween ,
Second nature for him to be branded.
Didn't Think it Aflvlsalile.
Now Vork Sun : "Won't ! you give my
new play a pull'/ " asked an author of a
dramatic critic.
"J hardly think it would be safe. "
"Why not ? " ' :
"Well , it's so weaiithat u pun" would
blow it to pieces. " ' ,
His Uncle.
"What luck did 3-611 have fishing Pen
ny-short ? " asked a gentleman of a well-
known impecunious character , who owes
to nearly everybody' .
"Splendid ! While 'I ' was out twenty
men with bills called at 1113- house lo col
lect 11101103' . " ,
lie Xovor AVill.
Wall Street News : ' Ho was a young
man who had been talking Ioudl3of his
father's riches and his own prospects ,
when an old woman leaned over the seat
and asked :
"Young man , did you 2:13' : 3'our paw
was rich ? "
"Yes , ma'am. "
"JIo'll bo apt to found some charity ,
won't ho ? "
"I think. so. "
"Sullied on anything yet ? "
"No ' "
, ma'am.
"Then please call his attention to an
idiot asylum. "
An IJnniifterly Misor.
New York Tillies : H i.s very seldom
even in the curious history of litigated
wills that such a revelation occurs as was
made yesterday in the. .surrogate's court.
It came out lhal the late James H. Paine
had left with : i friend , who afterward became -
came tlio administrator of his estate , a
package which the custodian supposed to
consist of private papers. Thi.s jmekago
remained in the custody' of his friend
for 111.1113' years during the lifetime
of the depositor. Only once , and
then some Ion 3'oars after the do-
poiit was made , did jic inquire about
its safety. After his death the package
was opened and found to contain more
than CiO.OOO in bills , of which more than
510,000 were still current. Wo boliovu
that this performance is unparalleled.
Misers often keep their hoards in unlikely
places , but tho.y always keep them whuru
they- tire accessible , and in all the stories
of nilsurn the chief joy of Iho miser U lo
count hia 11101103' . In this case the minor
gave his hoard into the keeping of a
friend , and apparently ceased to trouble
himself about it , himself living mean
while by begging and in apparent pov-
ci ty.
The honorable conduct of Mr. Chickor-
ing i.s not no unusual , wo may bo thank-
fur to say , as the recklessness of Mr.
Paine about his monev , but it was re
markable. There was nothing , so far as
appears , to prevent Mr. Chlekering from
pulling in his own pocket u fortune of
prjO.OM without exciting oven a suspicion
that ho had il or had had it in his posses-
hion. The current estimate of the dead
man's estate was about one-seventh of
that amount. Many honest men would
bo anxious to bo preserved from such a
temptation as that which does not seem
to have presented itnclf to Mr , Chickor-
ing us a temptation at all ,
A.
Chicago Herald : "Christmas and
Now Year's do not oomo on the samn
tiny of the week this y ar , " remarked
a solemn man at the bar of a Callioun
place saloon.
" 1 reokon you nro mistaken , stranger , "
retorted a 3'oung fellow who had jtibt
emptied a bottle of bno | label.
"No , sir ; 1 am not mistaken. "
"Hut I insist that you aro. "
"I am not a boiling man1 drawled tha
solemn man as ho wiped n tear out of his
loft eye , "but I'll wager you a bottle of
thcT/idow that I am riu'ht. "
" 'I hat Christmas anil Now Years do
not como on the same week this vcar ? "
"Certainly. "
"Well , I'll cover y-our wager , " chirped
the 3-oung fellow , smiling at the bar-
keeper. "Now provo to mo that yon are
correct. "
" ( Jot a calendar ? "
"No. "
"Well , never mind. I can provo the
truth of 1113- statement with or without an
almanuo. " ' *
" ( Jo ahead ; I'm gotlmg thirsty. "
"Well , my dearyounir friend , " began
the solemn man , "you see Christmas and
Now Year's , which are only a week
apart , occur in different years , and not
on the same day of the week this year.
Como now , order the wine. I'm in a
hurry. The gag is a fresh ono , and I
must make time if J expect to lind any
more .sturgeons to-day.
CHUNKS OF HOIIE COMFORT ,
The Inijiortnuco of the
Pay-as-jou-po Sys
tem to Housekcencrs.
"NOBODY KNOWS BUT MOTHER. '
A ' .Child's Ideas mill It.i Maul ; Ac
count 1'olnts I'uHor
on Decoration
tionrmu'iiiulUy nt Meals Ar-
rnnuiiicnl of Jlon e Plains.
Nobody lnt "Mother.
If. ( ' . ItMlUf.
Nobody knows of the \voik It inakes
1 o keen the homo losrutliui ;
Nobody knows of the steps It takes ,
knows but mother.
Nobody listens to childish woes
Which kisses only smother ;
Nobody's pained bv nntnjhty blows' ' ,
Nobody only mother.
Nobody knows of the sleepless care
Hi-stowed on b.ihy br l her ;
Nobody knows of tlio lender pruy'r ,
Nobody only inothur.
Nobody knows of llm lessons t
Ot loving unu another ;
Monody knows of the patience sought ,
Nobody only mother.
Nobody know of the anxious fears
I.i'M diirllnis may nut wo.ilbu'r
The storm ol Illo in alter years.
Nobody knows but mother.
Nobody kneels nt the throne above
Tu thank the Heavenly Father ,
tor that swcetes-t irllt a mother's love ;
Nobody can but mother.
You'd Hut t or I'ay OH Von Go.
It is u very convenient tiling , writes
Kinil.y ! S. lluiiton in the Toledo lllnde , to
have u .standing account : it u More where
yon can go nt any lime , order what you
| ilu si > , and have it charged. wit limit I ho
worry of having to consider wlielher you
have enough niono.y in vour purse to pay
for it or not , but it is also into that these.
items , sina.l though llioy may bo , mount ,
up with appalling rapidity into a. sum
that always surpasses oxpeetalion. ll .
sides tliis , the vor.y bust calculators. anil
those who generally use a wise eeonoiny ,
buy things in this way which they can
easily do without did thuy take time for
relleclion which casli payments would
often compel. It is so easy , when an arti
cle that seems at the time desirable is
se.on , to order it sent ami charged for ,
that temptation overeomes the buyer bu-
fore tlio strength which comes from
looking at the matter on all sides enables
her to ro.sist thu impulse to buy. Often
purchases are made in this way and re
gretted , while something that was far
inoro necessary must in consequence bo
gone without.
Merchants understand that u great
deal more is likely to be boucrht where
there is a running account than when
cash is paid down , which explains their
readiness to trust those whom they have
reason to believe will pay what they
honestly owe. The excess will , in nine
cases out of ton , more than compensate
for tlio loss of Interest upon the out.itand-
iug sums , though there is no question
but that they sometimes lose largo
amounts by the failure of individuals
through misfortune , 'sickness death , or
deliberate rascality lo discharge their
debts.
Of course there are verv many women
"
who cannot conliol this"matter. . Their
husbands are this treasurers and dis
pensers of the family finances , and cash
payments are impossible without the
masculine approval. They see the. mat
ter only in the light of diamond cut
diamond. Their customers make them
wait for their returns , why should they
not proceed in the same way. Nor can
they be made to see. even from a selfish
point of view , that the pay-as-you-go sys
tem , so far as family expenses are con
cerned , is far cheaper in the end , to
whatever extent it can be made practica
ble. And truth to toll , it would be tar
easier in most eases to carry it out than
they will acknowledge oven to them
selves.
The women , however , who can com
mand the money , and those who earn
their own living , will bo far wiser to
adopt the rule of buying nothing which
they cannot immediately pay for or for
which the 11101103- at their command in
a future so near as to make it a certainty ,
than to have things charged week after
wool ; with tlio expectation of settling it
in a time which may lind them in a posi
tion that will render the payment a most
dilliuiilt matter. Uncertainty is an ele
ment entering very lamely into tins lifu ,
and tho-io people who bavo the fewest
odds and ends floating out , lo become
tangled at some inopportune moment ,
have generally the greate-.t measure of
happiness A little self-denial in iho
present 111113' save you a largo portion of
discomfort in tlio future , for to the
thoroughly honest person , that one who
means to deal fairly by his kind
a debt that cannot bo paid is an ever
pressing nightmare.
Decorative Itlon.s in tlio J'nrlur. '
Toronto ( Hobo : Various parlors of
one's acquaintance convince one that
decorative ideas , despite the vast number
of agents for their.di.ssomination , are ab
sorbed very' slowly by women after till.
Those- seem to bo a principle of order anil
regularity so deeply rooted in the foini-
nine mind as ellectually to outset all
artistic schemes for the breaking up of
line and cord necessary to produce a.
pleasing olloet. The principles of mantel
ornamentation , for instance , thoroughly
absorbed by ourgrcat grandmothers long
ago , show in many instances little of tlio
progressive spirit so marked in tidies and
pincushions. The old vicious habit of
having things strictly in pairs is still il
lustrated all over the land. A wall I
wet of must represent to the ruler thereof
a whole housekeeper's decalogue in the
religious exactitude with which one
side of it corresponds to the other.
There are but two "odd" pieces
upon it , and these consist of a big vase
iilled with artilicial llowors In the middle
of the mantel , ami a bigger picture hang
ing directly ever the vase. On each side
of the picture nang two smaller ones ;
under each of those is a "bracket" in
wools , each corresponding to the other
in all respects save that ono has a pink
impossibility and the other a rod ono , in
the way of roses. Cabinet photographs ,
in frames to correspond , adorn tlio brack
ots. The big vase on the mantel is ( hiked
by two smaller ones , impartially ngl3' , of
that white material which when poorly
wrought suggeMs tombstones and stalag
mites and candy in equal proportions.
Then comes busts ot celebrated individ
uals , selected , I am certain , because thov
"matched" in .si/o , and then two morb
vases , blue , with hanging crystals. Ouo
Mile of the room is the direct counterpart
of the other : Ono feels as if ono wore in
the midst of a carefully arranged puz/lu ,
of which an Inadvertent movement might
forever shatter Iho proportions. Jn a
room , as in a picture. , balance must bo
preserved , liut quito as absurd in a
room as it would bo in a picture is Iho
fashion of directly or exactly reproduc
ing any of its features.
A Child's Host Ideas Derived From Ha
Mother.
San Francisco Chronicle : Up to Iho
time a child can talk and say funny
things sha--it is generally particularly
so with f fin ale children aho is her
mother's not. Then she is taken posses
sion of by ( ho malu parout. A little while
after oho is born the now-mado parent
like < > the novelty of handling her , but
( hat does not hist long , TIiuii for a whilu
she is a nuisance to thu father , but when
she begins to got "cute" and cunning ,
when her mother 1m * with inliiuto e.uro
and affection developed her infantile
br.ijn , thu father stops in and bejjiur ' , o
j Seal Caps , Seal Gauntlets ,
Seal Walking G-loves ,
Seal Turban Gaps ,
. . / ' . . , , , . . , , , , / , . . , ! * . AJ'tilt title nflltr
( Vlejiiirah'jl SHvorinan S'oiiM'ttpi mill tJlovps.
Silk Mufflers , -
Silk Suspenders ,
Silk Handkerchiefs
Novelties iu Holiday Neckwear , ( 'loves mill Jlo-
slei-y.
Knit Caps ,
Jersey Caps ,
Toboggan Caps.
( food Wnvm Knil Caps , 4-Oe , 7.V itiul $1 ,
\ 01'MAN'S IIA'IS. -
H. B. HUDSON ,
Millard llnlol lllock , IL'L'2 HoughiH si ,
HOW TO ACQUIRE WEALTH.
Di'iiii'hiij , Tit ( it Mi > nl'i. \inrni1trt' 'JOIh. Illy tec. * . \ < > Jllunka
With $ ! A You Can Secure
One City of Barletta 100 Francs Gold Bond
These bonds arc drawn ! times annually , with prizes ol" U.tWO.UOO . , 100,000000 ,
fiOO.OOO , iiOO.OOO , 100,000. fiO.OOO , etc. , down to the lowest prize ol" 100 Francs ( Jold.
Anvonc bending us if 3ill secure one of these Hcnds ami is then IJNTITLUD to
the'wholc prize that it may draw in next drawing , balance payable on easy install
ments. Tliis is the best investment ever offered. Besides the certainly receiving back
100 FranrsGold , you have the chanee to win four times a year. Lists of drawings
will be scut free o'f charge. Money can be scat by luglstcred letter or postal note.
For further information , cull on or address HER LIN HANKINCJ CO. ,
301" ) Broadway , New York.
N. II. The < e llonds arc not lottery tickets , and are by law permitted to be sold in
l.n fT.n.1
monopolize the credit. It isn't fair. Hut
the mother always lots him. Sineu this
column admitlcd clever children , fond
parents como to me and lull mo of llioir
precocious progeny. U'H an excellent
thing , especially in mothers , but 1 notice
wnon a lady tolls mo a story of her baby-
she says "our baby. " Hut when a father
talks ho always begins about "my little
girl , " and generally says "I have a little
daughter. 1 never met a child yet whoso
best ideas wore not derived from the
motlior. 1 have heard oi children who
have been potted by their fathers , but
( hey generally talked slang , which their
fathers thought uwfullv bright.
Hank Ac-count.
Toronto Ulobo : I saw a very sensible
hint for mothers the other dav m Haby-
hood , under the title of "The Haby's
Hank Aeeount , " advising the fond ma
ternal parent to dispense with various
liltlo mailers of garniluro with which his
roy-al highness is usually invested , and
put the sum they represent , away for his
fulure ( more practical ) uso. It is really
of comparatively' little importance to his
present health or happiness that his pet
ticoats . hoiilil bo trimmed with Torchon ,
or his cloak embroidered in silk , or his
perambulator upholstered in plush , or
his nur.se .of that expensive variety that
will consent to walk abroad under the
insulnViont protection of a white cap in
summer time. He is really quite as much
delighted with a box of blocks with which
to cruet his architectural fancies , or a
wpolly baa-lamb at 2. ) ceiils as with the
most expensive Parisian invention that
over rolled realistically about the lloor
and 3'apped ami .snarled and wagered its-
tail at live dollars and a half. The un
necessary expense attendant upon ex
treme youth does not minister to any
thing but the vanity of extreme youth's
mamma , and if placed in the imbeaiilifnl
but profitable seclusion of a bank-book
would some day go fartoxyard fTm educa
tion and establishment in life of the
youth , when It is more appreciative.
Ho Pimislua ! .
A witty- woman once said her husband
iuul three hands"right , left and a little
behind hand. " She was very prompt ami
puncliial in all her ways ami this fault in
lier generally kind husband was like a
thorn in the llesh. A wise and thought
ful man is usually' found promptly in his
place at meal lime. It is one ot the most
liscouraging things in the world to a
housewife who prides herself on her
iood ; cooking to have the heiulot the do
mestic circle and the chief object of all
the nice , delectable thiiiirs that arc
placed upon the table dilatory about
taking his chair at meal lime. Mothers
hhould bo veryslncl with their boys.
The 3'oimgstcrs are -.o fond of \ > \ny \ and
it is such a trial to have the face and
Itands scrubbed that it is often a dairy
tu.sslo to gel them ready for the table.
15ut per.suvorc ; the luibit once formed ,
md it is important enough to use the
rod energe.Ucally , will Do of lifts long
service lo Iho man and bo moans of mak
ing his wife a happier woman. One
mother gave her boy ! ) . i cents for being
punctual at meals three times a day for a
week. If ho failed ho was lined. Jt
worked liico a charm.
The Arrangement of House Plant" .
W. 1) . W. in Iho Caterer : l.ovors of
lowers having housed their pets from llm
Tosly chill of autumntho question arises ,
low can they bo satisfactorily arranged
in their temporary homo ?
Ono very beautiful way to arrange them
s as follows :
Take a lur o looking glass or mirror
and place it on a sunny- side , or fatill bet
tor , in n sunny corner of your silling
room.
In front of it place a table of llowor-
step.s. If the table bo used cut a picco of
lark oilcloth the shape of the lablu to ) )
and plneo It there for protection from thu
water. On the table group your llowcrs
is closely as possible. A Few pots of
Konilworth or CJcrniau ivy , arranged
across the front , will add greatly to the
oil'eot , as they grow downward , and in a
liltlo while will entirely hiilo the pots.
When carefully managed every ( lower
will bo duplicated in the mirror , and the
whole bo a da'//.Img mass of groon. You
may Mill further heighten the beauty by
placing some wandering Jew or ivy In
bottles Iilled with water behind the glass
an.I train it around the frame , and hang
a canary bird in a brass cage iminedi-
uloly in front of the mirror ,
A Rhiintly Voyngo.
Detroit Free Press : I was in Nassau
several months in the interest of Iho con
federate government , ami among the
queer things which happened in that
connection was the arrival of a couple of
men with an invention which they do-
iircd lo hell lo the confcdorato slates of
America. It was about the linio torpe
does1 wore coining into use in our south
ern bays and rivers , and when the fodur-
ills hail tightened their grip on the blockade -
ado BO that not more than ono runnoroiit
of six could get in. These strangers had
invented a biiS-marino torpedo-
boat One was u Frenchman an'1
thu oilier F.nglUh , and the work
had been done in Knglund. 'I ho
boat was brought to Nassau by a Hi-itis-h
steamer , and it was thuro ibai ihuconfed-
urato irovermenl was invited to o\aiuino
her. Thu boat was supposed to have
Ijcon coiihlnic.U'd oa t.iii'iitiiuprinciples. .
She wnb of .iron , twunt } su feet long ,
jive beam , and a hum wr four toot
depth of hvlo. blw was prope.Ilcd by an
atmospheric engine , and was intended
to make her way in any direction below
the surface. In attacking a vessel she
would sink below her , atlach a torpedo
to her bottom , and then back oil'anil explode -
plodo it with clectrieitv. .lusthow the
torpedo was to bo attached I can't tell
vou , though it was illustrated at the time.
The boat arrived at Nassau in pieces ,
and for fear that some of the federal
spies in the port would get on to the in
vention the hoses were carted oil"up the
country to a .seashore plantation , and it
was there that we found thu boat afler
.she had been put together. That she
would run on the .surface and below it
was demonstrated to our satisfaction
within a few hours. Steering by compass
when below thu surface , she preserved a
ronr.su us .straight as an arrow , making a
speed of ten or twelve miles an hour ,
and remaining below some forty to sixty
minutes. The problem of how to got rid
of ( lie federal bloekaders seemed lo have
been solved. With such a boat as that in
Charleston harbor the whole Yankee
lleot would have been terrori/.ed.
The only' point upon which wo had
doubt was thu working of Iho torpedo.
If lhal failed to work then the boat wa.s
of little use. The inventors had not y-et
made a practical torpedo le.st , and llie.y
seemed to hesitate. However , when they
were told that the success of a sale < lc-
pon-led upon a pratioul illu. : ration. llioy
asked for Iwo or three day's' lime. I presume -
sumo they made experiments during this
interval , for when we visited thorn again
they- were iiuite prepared. An old
schooner had been towed up from Nassau
and anchored a mild oil' from shore in
t > evont3" feet of water , and they were to
practice on her. They seemed to have
perfect coiilidencu in themselves as they
shul themselves up in ihe boal and sunk
below Iho .surface , and wo hud lilllo
doubt of their success.
There wasn't a ripple bv which wo
could trace the pioirre.is of tin ; boat , and
alter giving her twelve minute * ' time wo
began to" expeel this explosion. Wo
waited a full hour , and wore then satis-
lied .something was wrong. After two
hours had gone a couple ot men rowed
oil'to Hie schooner , but no sign of the
torpedo boat could be seen. Tbreo weeks
later the boat was washed up on the
shore of one of the small islands to the
south. She was bent and bruised and
broken , anil in I KM' hold the corpses of
the two inventors worn washing about.
Tiie torpedo bad not been exploited , but
the engine had broken down and the
poor follows had lam at the bottom of
the sea until their fresh air wa.s exhausted
and then died a horrible death.
WOMEN OF THE HAREM.
A Rrloi'Oliinnso of ( ho Peculiar Fon-
uiro of < ho Orient.
( join-nil Lew Wallace's Lecluro : Ono
of the conditions upon w hlch a woman
onler.i ( In ; harem is lhat .sli is gives up all
family ties and connections with thuout-
side world. While poly'gamy is allowed
in Turkcv not more limn U per cent of his
majesty Moslem subjects have harems.
Ciimeral Wallace depleted in a humorous
vein ( In ; Giiriosiiynf the American womun
lo visit the harem. They always hnvu a
great desire to sue the poor creatures at
home , and dcviso soiiiu moans
to raise them from their
degraded condition. After a visit many
of thesis ladies change their minifs
about the fearful fate of the Turkish
womun. The Turkish ladies assembled
in a common reception room richly lur-
nishuil They are attended by a throng
of slaves , while and black , who do their
every bidding. The mistresses of thc.se >
harems wear coitiimos which Ihe speaker ,
nflcr apologi/.ing for his dulieionoy on
Iho subject ot fomiuine uppurol , under
took to de.seribo. Their clothing is of
the richest material. Of HID general in
telligence of these women their American
sinters who have * ceii them do not speak
in fluttering terms. The conversation
between tlio Turkish women and their
visitors nearly always runs about thi.s
way ;
"Whore are you from ? " inquire Iho
luxurious wives of the Mohammedans.
"From America * "
"Whcro is America ? "
' It's the "
over ocean.
"Do you over go out there without
wearing veils ? Aren't 3-011 ashamed bo-
funs the meiiY"
"Wo don't pay any attention lo the
men. "
It is the general oylnion that ladies of
tlio harem are prisoners. This is merely
u delusion. Kvory Turkish woman has
bur own iiuurlisre ; and her own slaves lo
wait upon lusr. She can take a ride
whenever t > hu wishes , and she wears what
hho pleases without any interfe-renco.
The Turkish headdress is , with dnu
deference lo the htyleo of Paris and Now
York , the most becoming of any in Iho
world. It makes the homeliest women
handaomu and the haml-somo ungclio ,
The Turkish women are , nuxt to our own
American women , thu most beautiful I
bavo over seen ( ilimpses of them can
can bo caught 1'ndayfc ' , the Turkish Sun
day , or from their carnagas. They do
their own .shopping , it is ihoirs lo buy as
they plcuso and their husbands' to pay
for it. It is incorrccl lo say Unit
there is no homelifo among thu Turks.
Laying iisldo the Ho of husband and wifu
there remains that almost as dear par
ent and child. Thu residents of HIM
harem , which pieans a fiucrcd or faccrut
pjacu. aru pabi-iijiialoly devoted to their
childri'Ut uiion whom llioy can shower'
all the U'murnw > 3 of u woman's uuiuru ,
