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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 19, 1886)
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY , DECEMBER 10 , 188G.-TWELVE PAGES , 11 THE HOME ASD FIRESIDE. Bow to Make Home Attractive , Ohccry and Mirthful , KEEPING HOUSE FOR NEIGHBORS Obedience of Children- Much ' Girls' Sweeping Hoys' nmt ClollioH Hints for Attractive Homes. As Iho long winter evenings arc up on us how much may bo done to make lionui attractive. Wuniun vt'io have sons to roar and dread llic dcniot alining inllu- cncos of bad associates , otigl \ to understand - stand the natnru of you up ; mnnliood. It is excessively restless. It Is I'jsturbcil ' by vuin ambitions , b.y thirst for action , by lonclng.s for excitement , by irrepressible desires to touch life in manifold ways. If yon , mothers , rear your sons so that tliolr homes are associated with the repression of natural Instincts , you wilt bo sure to throw them in the i-ociety that In any measure can supply the need of their Itoarts. They will not go to the public houses at lirst , for love of liquor they go tor the animated and hilar ious companionship they Unit there , which they find iloes so much to repress the disturbing restlessness in their breasts. See to it , then , that their lollies compete with public places in their attractiveness. Open your blinds Iw day and light briuht lircs at night , niumlnato your homo * . Hang pictures upon the walls. 1'ul books ami newspa pers on your tables. Have music and en tertaining games. Banish demons and dullness ami apathy , that have so long ruled in your hou oltold , and bring in mirth and good cheer. Invent occupa tions for your sons. Stimulate their am bitious in worthy directions. While you make homu their delight , till them with higher purposes than mere pleasure. Whether they shall pass happy boyhood and enter upon manhood with relined tastes and noble ambitions depends on von. Huliovo it possible that with ex ertion and right means , a mother may have more control over thodestiny of her boys than any other inlluenco whatever. "Women AVIio Kcpp IIHUSO to IMonse tlm Neighbors. Kate Upson Clarke : Women are al ways somewhat Kiipcrscn.siliyo about their work. There is probably no point on which this suporscnsitivciiess is more displayed than that of housekeeping. To be called a "slack" housekeeper stings a woman to the < | iiiek , no matter how do- .served the impeachment may be ; yet , the moment a woman docs that she is cxoit- ing herself in her housekeeping to do more than Mie otherwise would for fear that "people will talk ; " that moment hho begins to endanger her whole theory of life. It is this keeping house so as tel l > leiisu society and to nlacate the "neigh- Dors" which is at the bottom of much of the overwork anil the belittling of the mind which are the bane of housekeep ers. ers."Don't try to keep your house so clean , " says a clever writer , "or else a Htepmpther will bring up your children. " Tins simple but strong proscription of the matter thrown a Hood of light upon it. It intimates that a housekeeper has duties besides keeping house , and paramount to that one. A housekeeper is usually a wife. A wife , be.sido.s s-eeing that her husband has clean room" to live in , well-cooked meals and neat clothes , should inake herself a companion to him. His mind is usually sharpened by his activity in business or professional life. She must sec to it that nor own mind is kept as sharp as possi ble by reading ami study. She should try to remain so far as her elforts can go what she probably was in the days of their conrislitp the most interesting per- MPII in the world for him to bo with. Above all things , she must keen herself well and strong , or else good spirits , which arc the most charming aUiibnto in cither man or woman , will be lacking. Then she is usually a mother. Her children are full of questions. They de sire her companionship and her conversa tion. Whoso else can bo so good for them us licrs * She .should see to if that tlioy have these in full measure and of good quality. She is also a member of some social circle. The greatest work that woman can do to improve the social fabric is , of course , in the home ; but there arc many outside duties which no self-respecting woman should neglect , and for which she should have a portion of her time and strength. The Keeping of the house , then , is only one of several vocations of the houseKeeper - Keeper , anil subordinate to tho-io of the wife , the wife anil the social being That is to say , the kcepiin : of the home in which tamilv ami friends are to be ted and win llcred is only a means to the se curing of their health and happiness. In it as soon as a woman begins to think of the cleaning and cooking as ends in themselves , and devotes herself to them to Mich an extent that her usefulness in higher spheres is impaired , aim Is mak ing a mi.-tnke Keep the balance true. He-member that the objects of our earthly . toil aio to Keep our lou-d ones well and Hi'lcgatc conversation about the house hold affairs to tint background , unless the humorous sidti is uppermost. See that 'good moats , plain and substantial , are nerved , no matter what cleaning or other work is going on. Do not tire yourself out with trying to do double work in a day. Hy sytnoin this can bo avoided. Never mind what "the neighbors" say. Keep continually in mind that yon are Keeping hoiibO not for tlm sake of Keep ing house , but to make a home in which husband and children and friends shall thnvc and rejoice continually. Obedience of Children. Health and Home If you wish to mtike a noble man or woman of a child , your constant thought should bo how to obtain a complete ascendency over it. Do this so niicoiibcioubly and ctl'cctually that obedience will be like a necessary part of its nature. It is then only that the parent is certain of furnishing the best material for true manhood and womanhood. The crying evil of tUu hour is that so few parents Know how , or care how , they can hold" supreme authority over their own ollsprlng. A perfectly trained child will tind disobedience an uncomfortable task. A feeling of discontent and unhappiness - happiness COMICS naturally when it failti to obny. Is there anything more despotic mils power over man than a deeply-rooted liabjtV b'aston as with iron bunds the habit o1 filial obedienee , and it child can only with an effort shake oil"u spontaneous feeling to obey. \\o now refer to tlit well-trained child. Hut how is it wltli one that lacks proper bringing up ? The tecrot its this ; Most parents dc not understand their children's nature How many know , or fully rcali/o , thai obedience is the lirst and moat important lesson that man must learn from infancy , and continue learulnjruntil lifois extinct. . It is a lesson of greater importance than reading and arithmetic , utid , it is mucl Ir.mlerto thoroughly master. Never ox peet a child to Know how to obey until yon haye taught it. In order to do thi : you must understand its nature. Space forbids us to elaborate as to thaincam necessary for this accomplUlmient , Lei us warn' our readers. , however , thai the "divine rights of part'nls" can have 110 inlluenco in gaining authority ovci the child. Dp you expect a horse to carry out your wiMics if It never has been trained ? The fault is with the trainer. Obedience should not bo taught be cause it saves the parent much unplcas- nntnc s. Thh is the only sellisfi way of the subject. Teach this lesson because it is a high duty. Temporary benefit and usefulness to the child is small in com parison with the lastlnc benciit which must ensue. Indirectly , future morality , health , fidelity , noble ambition , honor and in all depends on this lesson , once learned. Do yon wish a. child with a healthy body and healthy mind ? If it falls to obey you while an infant how can you bo assured that it will follow the thousand anil one commands "social progross"and the "laws of health , " arc constantly de clining. _ Too Much The advisability of giving every apart ment a vigorous "broom cleaning ' at least once a week has been so strenotisly insisted upon byomo notable house keepers that it hns bj * many been con verted Into an imperative duty. Hut looking at the matter in an unprejudiced light , one cannot see why a drawing- room , inhabited perhaps a few hours of the afternoon and evening , or an unoc cupied guest chamber , sho'ild require the .same amount of purification demanded "jy a sowing , sitting or dining room. The lust-pan and brush are labor-saving ma- hlncs that do not receive due apprccia- .Ion. Hy their aid in removing a little .lust here ami little them , the business of sweeping a whole room may tie deferred it times , when at the Ilr't glance any- hing less than a complete routing out > f furniture and dirt would seem impos sible. _ "Ijct Out. " How fasF the arms of the little people .engthen. Very few of their aprons and .tresses but that the sleeves must bo changed before the garment is outgrown or outworn. It is well to make allow ance for growth when making sleeves. cither by a tuck whose edge is concealed indcr or at edge of trimming , or by turn- .ng in at arm-int. Hut in cither case the goods , when laded , plainly show where Dm thrifty seamstress has ' 'let out" the sleeve. For gingham dresses that will wear but fade , try turning a deep hem at the wrist , edging it with pretty colored braid. Now turn back this firm like a curving cull a stitch or two will hold it In nlace till the little arm needs the ad ditional length to the sleeve. For tlio Housekeeper. In cleaning silver kerosene may bo used with advantage. Carpets may bo brightened by dusting with a damp flannel mop. Ants maj be driven out by springling the lloor with Persian powder. Stains on wood can bo removed with strong vinegar or salts of lemon. Egg stains can bo removed by rubbing with common table salt. Leather chair-seats may bo revived by rubbing them with well-beaten white of egg. Sandpaper will whiten ivory knife- handles that may have become yellow with use or ago. Simplest polish for oiled furniture. Hub oiled furniture with a woolen cloth saturated slightly with oil. A brilliant black varnish for iron stoves and lire-places is made by stirring ivory- black into ordinary shellac varnish. White paint that has become discolored may be nicely cleaned by using a little whiting in the water for washing. A good cement for china is ordinary carnage varnish ; if put together neatly the fracture will bo hardly perceptible , and it is not affected by water. To clean bronzed chandeliers , lamps. etc. These articles should only bo dusted with a feather brush of soft cloth , as washing will take oil' the bronzing. Galvanized iron pails are not desirable receptacles tor drinking water. The v.inc coating is quickly alTected bytho _ water , forming a poisonous oxide of.inc. . To clean looking-glasses. Sponge down the glass with gum and water , equal parts ; then dust down witli whiting and linish with an old soft silk handker chief. Carpels , after the dust has boon beaten out , may bo brightened by scattering upon them corn meal mixed with salt , and then sweeping it oil' ; mix salt and meal in equal proportions. Cement for china , glass , etc. Dissolve half an ounce of gum acacia in a wine- gl-iis of boiling water , add plaster of paris to form a thick paste ; apply with a brush to the parts to bo united. For clcaniiur brasses belonging to ma hogany furniture use either powdered whiting or scraped rottenstone , mixed with sweet 011,1111(1 , rub on witli a chamois skin. Vinegar is bolter than ice for keeping lish. Hy putting a little vinegar on the fish it will keep perfectly well even in verv hot weather. Fish is often improved in llavor under this treatment. To prevent polished steel from rusting , after cleaning , and when not in UMJ , take a cloth , with a very little sweet oil on it , and wipe the articles over s-o as slightly but evenly to oil the surface. Steel knives which are not , in genera ] use may be kept from rusting if they are dipped in a strong solution of soda one part water to four of soda ; then wine dry , roll in flannel and keep in a dry place. Slipporv-elm bark is a good remedy foi scaly boilers , and has been successfull ) used for a number of years. It is placcil in the boiler and loft there , the scale fall ing oil'in Hakes , which shoiu'l bo at once removed Silver becoming black may bo avoided by keeping that which is not often nsc < in Canton llannel bag. * , with small bags about the size of a thimble tilled with bits of gum-camphor , packed in around the articles. Insects may ho destrovcd with ho alum. 1'ut it in hot water and let it hoi until the alum is dissolved. Apply hot with a brush , and all creeping things are instantly destroyed without danger to human life or injury to property. To clean steel ornaments. Dip a smal brush into toinu paraflinu oil and thei into some emery powder such as is used in the knife machines and well brusl the ornaments , and all tlm rust will sooi come oil' ; polish with a dry leather am duster. I'ldcos at the tables for guests at dinner may bo designated in this way : Have in alphabet nuulu of tin , have each lettei about three iucho.s high , and the little tin forms deep enough to hold a little sand or wet moss , Then till the forms with tiny flowers and leaves , To Homovo ( Sreaso from Cloth. Dro ) on the spot some oil of tartar or salt o wormwood which has been left in a dntni place till it turns into a fluid ; then immediately diately wash the place with luke warm water , and then with cold \ \ ater , and the spot will dissappcnr. Faded hangings may bo restored bj beating the dust from them and brush ing , then apply a strong hither of ca&tilo soap by means of a hard brush ; wash tin lather off with clean water and afterwan with alum water. When dry the colors will generally bo found to be restored , To give u Jliia color to cherry-tree wood ti.ko one ounce of orclmnotta : cu it into two or thn-e bits and put it to teak for forty-eight honra in three ounces o good olive oil , With this oil anoint your cherry-tree wood after it is worked am shaped as you intend it , and H will give a linu histro. Polish for leather cushions , etc. Hca well the yolks of two eggs and the white of onoi mix a tablespoonfnl of gin nm a te.Hsnoonful ot sugar ; thicken i ( wiU ivory blatk , add ito \ the gjis , and UbO ns common blacking ; the seats or cush ions being left n daj or two to harden , This is good for dressing boot ? or shoes. To protect brasswork. Yellow brass may bo made to keep its color , without appearing varnished , by means of a , thin varnish of white shcllao or n coating of collodion. It will retain its color for n long time without n protective coating of any kind , if the finish is sufllciontly line. A light film of gold is the best possible coating for brasswork. Hoilmg water should not bo poured over ten trays , japanned goods , etc. , as it will make the varnish crack and peel off ; have n sponge wet with warm water and a little soap if the tray bo very dirty , and rub it with u cloth ; If u looks smeary dust on a little Hour , then rub it with a cloth. If the tray gets marked take a picco of woolen cloth with a little sweet oil mid rub on the marks. To detect iron from steel tools It is dtlllcult , says a Helglan journal , lo dis tinguish between iron and steel tools. They have the same polish and work manship ; use will commonly show Iho ( inference. To make the distinction quickly place the tool upon n stone , and drop upon it some diluted nitric acid ( four parts of water to one of acid ) , litho the tool remains clean it is of iron ; if of steel. It will show a black spot where touched with the acid. These suots can bo easily rubbed off , ItEMGlOUS. The pro\\th of the membership of Protest- nut churches In Japan Is now about 500 a noiith. The bishop of Vlrgnla has lust visited nlno colored congregations In which ho continued over cou persons. The population of Baltimore Is 3X2,190. I'ho churches , when full , \ \ 111 accommodate ess than 150,000 poisons. In London , with Its 4rtlit2 : Inhabitants an nverapo of 100,000 attend morning set- vices , and 110,000 In the evening. The Hajiltsts have raised nearly 10,000 for ho bulldliu'ot n new church In the City of Mexico. More than 5,000 aie still needed. The number of adherents to Roman Ca tholicism In India Is reported lo havu In creased fiom 700,000 ill IM'tO 1,631,355 , , ill Since April 1 last to October 1 the receipts of the American Illbln society havu been 5' ! lr > GL04 , and W)0bM ) volumes nave been is sued. sued.Dally Dally prayers nro now a part of the routine onboard every vessel of the HiltlHh navy , and on the Sabbath thoie rue frequently two services. According to the report of the British and Foreign Ulblo society for ltM. thoUlblolms liuen translated , Inholu or in pait , InlKX lancuaires. A torelLMi missionary socloly has been or- canizcdln Havarla for the puiposo of estab lishing missions In the nuw territories of ( iermnny In East Africa. The supreme court of Aikansas has de cided that n Second Ad\cntlst can not law- tully ignore the Sabbath because lie observes Satin day ns his Sabbath. The Methodist church in Canada has three local preachers who are millionaires W. K. Sanford of Hamilton , John McDonald of To ronto , nnd U. A. Cox of Petorboro. The Church missionary society ot England has recently received fiom its missionaries iu Chlnn the offer tliat they will themselves suit- port a missionary lor live years If Hie society will send ono to do advanced woik. The Germans In Jerusalem have n separate congregation of thulrown , and under Ger man auspices some excellent mission work is done. The congregation now has 154 , mem bers , of whom , howovr , twenty are Arabs. Relations between the pope nnd the gov ernment of Italy me unusually clouded and .strained. The government piopnses the total suppression of the Jesuits and conficn- tlon ot their pi oneity , amounting to STO.OOO a yoar. yoar.A A recent collection In two Swedish churches in Minnesota In lospnnse to an ap pea-i fora missionary chinch there , resulted in S10 , nil in coin , over 1,500 pieces being pen nies , and only six coins were as laigo as u ! J3- cent piece. The United Piosbvterian mission In Kgxpt h.is a woiklng foico of 2ii. : Twonty- flvo of these aie torelgn , 1SS arc native. There are il ! organi/.ed congregations and -19 unorganised mission stations , with a total membership ot 1,84- . A mairlngo was 80101)111170(1 ) leccntv In what Is known as the Old Pincy Ciouk Pres byterian chuicli , near Taneytown. Aid. Although this church Is over one bundled jear.s old , this Is the lirst man Inge ceiemony which lias ever taken place in it. The four synods of Georgia , Alabama , South Carolina and Florida having con demned Piolessor Woodrow for his evolu lion theoiies , the boaid of directors of the ChaiJeston theological seminary has rumocd film and he will have to uo elsewhere. This controveisv which had divided thu southern Picshylerlan church as It has not been di vided for years , demoralized the school so that it has been closed for years. KDUOAT1ONAU Tho.ro aie 0,000 educated men and women In our niuncions mission holds besides u much laruor number ot native hulpeis. The .sum of § 10,000 was bequeathed In his will by the lalu bamuol Johnson , ol Chicfv.ro , for the erection ot n gatuw.iy nt the main eu- tiauco to the yard ol llarvaul college. Of nil odiicallon , that of the caillost years leaves the most ineiMillc.iblo traces. Moio Is done louaid the determination ol character for lite during thu lii.it live jeait > than In any ten years nltctwnrd. Almost the enthe army of school teachers Is composed ot women. Thnv stand In our city schools in piopottion lo ten to one of the other sex. This nlonu entitles to them to lepresenlatlon on the boaul. Ten yeais ngo the appropriation for public distinction In Kiaiico was : i9.0TOOtO francs ; this year It Is l.'M..ini.OOO. A largu pai t of this is tor school houses nnd lurnltiiru nnd the Idling ol' teacheis in small parishes wluuu thu pesantry havu had no Instiuutloii for geneiatlons. Ten per cent of llm students in the univer sity of Zurich are women. Twenty-nine of them aie studylin : medicine , fourteen philos ophy , and two political economy. There aio now foity-elgnt female students of modi cum In London ami la Paris in : ! . Within the last sovoii years elL'hteeii women have taken a medical dit iee In Paris. The trustees of Johns Hopkins university have unanimously elected Hobeit W. ( Janiitt a member of the board , In place of Ids father who died two jear.s ngo. The long del.iy Is supposed to Imve been dun to the opposition of the Gnrrotts to thu questions of university buildings In thu city Instead of at Clifton , thu country seat ot tliu founder. Miss Mary S. Hrennan. mation of tlm Mount Auburn Young Ladies' institute , ne.u Cincinnati , has received liom the bonid of Inspectors ol stationary engineers the first license to run anenglno ever Issued to a lady In the United States , If not In the world. Miss Drcnnan Is a i ( 'lined nnd Intelligent young lady , being a college graduate , and irom her neat appearance and cultured con versation she i.s iliolast poison in the woild that Vtouldbu taken tor n practical engineer. CliuukN or CliliicHo AVUdnm. A slow pnt boils qnicKly when the cook fulls asleep. All who f ! ° to the seventh hell hate children , Whoever gambles shoots silver bullets. A ho cats , sleeps and thinks , but the glutton docs not think. _ A widow ia like an old shoe ; it never fits a second foot , Pestilence , vice and drunkenness are the three dragoons which stole thu orange of immortality from tliu keeper of para dise , A man speaks with ono voice ; a pen with a hundred , and a printer's typo with ten thousand. Who reads a bad book tattoos his soul. A getting Inw never yets tired. When n pig squeals he is unhappy , Homo men dillor from apes cnis1 In not having tails and boh } a'oo | to talk , The soul's first home was n clam or worm , and very often it wants to yo back to its original resting place , The father of n title , nnd not thu fa'on , is. the ono to be respected , Who oats buoks IIUH bad dreams. Tlw father and mother of progress ara hunger and pain. Sin is a whip with which men arc lashed to virtue. . TALES OF WITS ASD WAGS , An Incident of the Wnr Told b ) a Vet eran Liar , THE HAPPY FAMILY PAINTER Domestic Discipline nml the Ijntcst OR 1'rcpnrlnjr for Christmas IMckinirs From Plumb- orV Hills. Tlio llnppy Anlninl Pnlntcr. A' It. MimMlrttlt , In the OiH fmn JMrfc. I am a hnppr artist , and my name Is Ancclo , 1 paint the wooden animals fur Spk'gulb.idi & Co. , I paint their eyes , their hair , their tails , their noses and their feet , Lntil theceiinnlscurptoclalins their beauty iuilto complete. And Speitrloo.-ich regards mo ns the foremost of Ins Joys , Who thus can pnlnt the animals he sells for X-nms toys. Hut prithee let mo tell you , fur It Is a lovely joke , About tlio fioo-and-caslncsa that mniks my ninstcr stroke ; 1 daub Iho camel liuro and there , 1 daub the lion ton. I paint the hedcehog bottle giccn , the Ryras- ciitusbluc ; I paint unnn the polar bear a pensive purnlo smile And on the coach-dog yellow spots 1 proill- In fnvt I use thoklnil of paint that happens at my hand , And natundlsta smile at what they cannot understand : Hut for those scientific men I care not over much , Or what they say about my woik ; It's all Iho sumo m Dutch. Ono day a country visitor made some unkind remarks When t was pnhitine t'eathcis gieenupon some meadow lark" . i told him that to suit myself 1 painted spot or stripe. And that he please would pack that down and smoke It in his pipe. I claim that \\ooden animals that io about on wheels And cannot howl or oat or dilnk or o'en kick up tliolr heels , Arc not a bit more natural than are the lively tones 1 paint upon the wooden skins that cover up no bonos. AVhat If I put maccnta stars upon the waiy IvnxV AVhat if I clothe the tiger and ihlnoccros in pinks' . ' To please the little boys and girls my ait I o'or emplov. I paint tlio oilntluiry nous iiceu to fill their souls with joy , And though with yellow , red or blue theaimy tnulo 1 touch , It's all the same to mo because it'tlall thejsamo In Dutch. Come , Isaac , fetch the ostriches , the horses ana the Kids , I And pile them up before mo lieie In little And then fetch up the little Noah's aiks and set them In a row , 1'vo gotto paint by 5 o'clock to-night a gro s And then fetch on n pot of paint , the first comes to hand , And 1 will make these animals suit any dis tant land , And while 1 paint I'll dance a jig , because m.v joy Is such That I can suck my thumbs and say , It's all the same in Dutch. "An Incident or the War. ' Judge : "Yes , I have been at an army reunion. Veterans of the Forty-third Minnesota volunteers. Ah , what recol lections swell up in the patriotic heart ns we grasp the old familiar hand and drink out of tlio same canteen once more. Hy the way , Strauss , I see hero some of the same old cheese.1' "Yah ; dot vas Oneida goitnty Sviss cheese. It yas siuotl a Icedlo loud already. " "Touching incident connected there with , Strauss. Some more of tlio same ? Yes : wo worn ordered out to ambush the celebrated Washington arlillcry at Chat- lanooga. Mldiitght. dark , not'a word lo bespoKon. ( icneral Hooker , with cloth slippers , led ns on tiptoe. Wo crept up tlio side of Lookout mountain and got nicely located when a cannon boomed on the lop of the ridge and a shell dropped among us , sifid , exploding , twenty men bit tlio dust " "Dot vas pall. Trinlc an nnncr mit me. " "Hooker whispered to the ollicers and wo crept nwiiy hbout a milo and located on the west side of the mountain. I ot a twig snapped ' Silent us death , when that cannon boomed again and sixty men lay cold in death. " "Ch'ininy ' crashus ! try dot miner yon mit me. " "Yes , Hooker was startled , but when we arose to creep away an odor , a sort of noxious vapor , a gentle olllnvia , was ap parent , and Hooker called a council of of- liccrs.1 "isli dot so ? Iliifo some poor. " "If you please. We retired a half mile ami of course gave nut ho investi gation for tlio time. Hut through the Cimmerian darkness the rebels shelled ns clear into cam ) ) . Now , Strauss , it is a fact recorded in the archives , if you know what an archive is , that a Dutchman in our brigade had a brick of Swit/.erkase in his pocket , and the Washington ar tillery had been shelling the smell all night. " "You go rightd avhay out ob dis , 1 pelievo you vas a chestnut. " "Strauss , on my sacred honor , his name was Hauingartnor and ho came from Cincinnati. ( Jive us a " "Py chiminety , .you get out of dis else I fioholl von mit de bung starter. I don't puliovo you ofer schm'ell powder nber somupody shoot von for stealing fichickcns. Doin rebels vas peon schell- ing your nose tint link it vas a camp- lire. American Domestic tfan rmnctfcn InglaMe. Hilly Helen Jumped out of Ids bed ; He inn at his sister and oat olV her head ; This gave Ids dear mother a uieatdcal of pain ; Let us hope little. Billy won't do it azaln. Srunmy found n luelfer match ; He set It alight In a farmer's thatch : Soon barn , hay and horses weie ashes anil dust , And Sammy's papa turned away In disgust. "Where Is yoinr sister'.1 Mmguiet , tell ! ' "Mother , 1 pushed her into tlio well. " "Veiy unkind or you , .Margaret , le.dly' ' I thought you loed your bister dearly ! " Haby sat In the window seat , Mary tipped her Into the street ; Haby's br.iinn wore dashed out in the aim- , Ami mamma huld npherfuieiliigcrtuMiuy. Crandpa had gold In the brass-nailed trunk ( irandpa cave Harry some ; Hairy got diuiiK Then to got more the trunk Hairy got Into : And grandpa thought Harry cuuht to bespoken spoken to , "Oh , see , if you please ! Master Johnathan Marml He's bitten a piece right out of my urin1 ! 'Oh , ( tear ! " ci lest tie mother , In accents wild 'I hope it won't disagree with the child ! " "Who cliulnV strangled Jack , with his collar nni "I did. mamma , and I'll do Itucalnl And I'll strangle viju.'ioo , when tget big and strnii VH I ' T ; . i's rhjht , my dear boy-tq confess when ' . " you'iu wioug. Much has beenVald , and moio has been bung , Of the open fnp ; iuoiisiics ! > of the voum ; ; Hut \\o \ own wti'u lke | better the Infant de mocracy \Veni \ It even endowed with thoglttof hynoc- Lot's have a new motto Inspired < u ) our banners. If wo can't Imvo.poqJ morals , let' ? stJve | for goud mnnnl'ii , JJetvvo.e. " the Two. Detroit Freol'resi : Uncle Hilly L'uf Inni , an aged colored man who claims to bo able to foretell the weather for several nonths ahead , was asked 5'estcrday. as 10 was wandering around the market , f it was to be hard or soft winter , "Am you in do poultry business ? " he queried in return. : No. " "If you war you'd vcnnt stiddy cold weather , of co'so , so do poultry wouldn't spile. Amyousellin1 umbicllas ? " "No. " "if you war you'd want a soft winter , wif rain 'bout free times a week. "Holn1 ns yon hain't got no tickler in terest In do matter your question am dc- larod outer order , an' do meeting am adjourned , " replied the old man as ho uovcd. _ Prcpnrntlon , The damsel now doth don her sweeten smlle , And from her face affection radiates ; Unto her suitor pietlly she prates , ivcrtlng all her sorceries and lies. She would not nntrcr him for ativthlnc , For Christmas rapidly is diaing nl h , And , ns the chill December days go by , She keeps her eye upon a diamond ilng. lut other jewels nro to her not baned ; .Slut's never known a shining gem to spiun. She i purchases , his kindness to return V CHUity , luuxucnslve Christmas card. What Snveil Ike. -Ifhnild Constitution , In one of the Atlanta courts a few days tgo a white man was anaittncd for iiaking mi assault upon a lank , race- torso looking darkey named Ike , who is i sort of major dome at a 1'eiars street wagon yard. " ( ! o on , Ike,1' , said the justice , "and tell what the man did in the light. " "Dor wan't no light , jodgp ; I ncbbcr ouch dat white man. " "Well , what did ho do ? " ' 'You sen , jodgo , it was joss disser way. I wnsettin' on dc hess Iron" , giltin on do outside uv an wattermillion , when dat nan cum in do lot an' 'gin tor r'ar round ibont his boss , and say F ain't gib hit null' shell corn yit. " "Well ? " "Den I say snmpin1 'bout do boss bcin' niny , an hit won't do for 10 f oce his ap- > ertitc , and den do man ho git tor cussin' j' me , an' direckloy 1 cuss him , and 'den 10 lluilg himself outer me obcr do boss tvoff , and when i wasgtttin'untanglcd ho iin his hand back arler his pistol , an' , icdgo. if it hadn't been for prov'donce ob le Cawd I'd or been a dead nigger right this minnit " "If it had not been for the providence of the Lord. " "Yes , sab , dat is do trufe , sho. " "What do you mean by that ? " "Well , ycr see , jcdge , dat ar white man lun forgot his pistol at home , an de Lawd cmnic outrun him. " lie Caught. Her. AVtr I'oiJoiinmt. / . "Meat mo bv moonlight alone , " A butcher thus pleaded his cause. ' Awl I give thee , I can , love , no more , " A cobbler sighed softly. Hut laws 1 When the plumber tuned up his sweet pipe , And sang with \olco soft and mellow , ' .Let me like a sold'er fall down" 5ho gave her fair hand to that fellow. Tlio Imtest Gng. Buffalo Courier : If you want to be very new , and at the same time very neat , just take your victim by the coat collar and whisper : "Say , we don't say chestnut any longer in Hullalo. We've got a new gag. " He will , of course , look disgusted at the turn the conversation is taking , and you hasten to add , "We say 'locomotive. ' " This will change his facial expression to one of surprise , and then you crush him. him."You "You don't too where that conies in , do you ? " He is interested by this time , and answers promptly , ' 'No ; where ? " The only answer to this last query is , At the depot , " and if your victim doesn't laugh you can. Hated to Itnve Any thine Charsiocl. Texas Sittings : "You arc charged with being drunk"said the judge ; "what have you KOt to say1 "Charged with it , am IV" "Yes you are. " "Always been used to payin' cash , but as you say it's charged , just let it stand on the books for the present , and some day , when I'm down this way , I'll drop in and settle ; " and the prisoner picked up his hat and started to go < "Stop there ! " cried the judge , "and answer to tlio charge. " "I answered , didn't I ? I ain't used to bavin' things charged cash down for everything's my motto. Boole accounts make trouble. Short settlements make long friends , eh jodgo ? " "I'll make a short settlement with you , you'll find. " "Didn't know my credit "Was so good hcic. If I came in last night and asked it , though , 1 must have been drinkin' sure , 'causo it'a agin my principles. 1 say , jedge , how much time can you give me ? " "Sixty days , " said the court. "Thankee , jedge. If you'd said thirty it might have cramped me a little , but si\tv is all right .Don'tsend the account to.thc bank for collection I'll be hereon on time. Hut don't lot any ot your clerics charge a night's lodging up to me again. It ain't my way of doing bnsine. . If I hadn't been drunk " "Yes ; as 3 on say , if you hadn't been drunk you wouldn't have been locked tip and compelled to spend sixty days on the island. " "Hut , jodge , 1 thought you said it was charged V" "It was , and you. too , ( ! o below Next. " Saved. Hamblor "Darling , my creditors are merciless , and to-morrow may sec us without house or home. " "Nay , husband ; do not despair. Do j'ou not remember that , when wo wore wed in the happy holidays , six ; short months : igo , 1 resolved to pave live cents for oycr.y dollar paid the plumborsV" "And have you kept It up until now ? " "Yes , doarost. " "Thou we are saved , for I only ewe $ , ' 0,000. { 0 Only Two Tornm. Detroit Free 1'rcss : "i tell yon it'u so ! " "It can't be ! " "Hut it is ! " "I'll bet you Mon it ! " "I'll take that bet ! " Two young men who cntorod a saloon on Michigan avenue the other day went making use of tlm sentences above quoted , and as the bartender pricked up his cniv- ono of them handed him $ .r > in bills and the other a f ! i bill , and the taller of the two said : "We have a little dispute , and will abide by your decision , 1 say that ( Son- eral Grant solved three terms as presi dent. My friend hero says ho only served two , Whichever v.us ! take's the * 10 " "Yes , tlmt.V.ho way of if"added the other. "Grant served but two tornit. " added ihosaloonibt , Hiiro ? " "I " am , "Then the inonny is rnhm , " observed tlio shorter stranger , and as the bartender - tender bunded It out ho continued. ' 'Wo'll nil have some beer on ( his. Just give mo those small bills.awl Lho change for the live. " They had been gonp half an hour when thu referee hud occasion to look , at ltie | In } ) , It was an 18U1 counterfeit , Cats \ylth big wjilskers ( Jpn't. always catch A loud v.olccs U tlc | echo from nil empty ' ' ' head , il'P ' LIU1 Seal Caps , Seal Gauntlets , Seal Walking G-loves , Seal Turban Caps. $0 ( tin ! $ JO. filtcrtitt UnriKihia. J full llur of ( lie C'lpbi < ( MJSll\orinnn Soul Caps niul ( tlovog. Silk Mufflers , Silk Suspenders , , Silk Handkerchiefs Novelties in Holiday Noclnvcar , Ulovos anil Ho siery. _ Knit Caps , Jersey Gaps , Toboggan Caps. ( Jootl Warm Knll Caps , 4Up , 7tic mul ? 1. YOniAX'S HA'IS. II B. MSGN , Agent Millnrd Hotel Block , lilL'2 Douglas st. MUSlCAIi AND im.VMATlC. Maurice Hnnymoro 111 star next season. Itoland Heed seems to bo satisfied with Humbug. Sarah Ucrnhardt left Lima ycstciday for the noi th. Sol Smith Uusscll shows up In Hoaton Clnlstmas week. Lillian Olcott roappcais In New York as f heoiloin In January. M. H. Curtis will shortly take his Caught n a Cmuer to Philadelphia. Krd Jlai rliiRtoii nnd his company visit the [ 'acllie coast next summer. Harry Sullivan , Cork's ( ItsthiRiiNhud son , will bo welcomed next season. Mine , .lanlsh and her company have sus pended business for the present. Hullalo Bill's Wild Wesi show In New York hi teimcit a "cjclone.success. " Minnie Maihlern will meson ! Caprice In Duliolt the latter halt of this week. .lohn Tempicton's "Mikado" company lalely went to grass In Heading , Pa. Clam Mori In Is ucain very III , nd is , not likely to pl.iy any moio this season. ' " of Iron" has AiU Ciay's "Kiiii ? company succumbed to the inevitable at ( irand JSuphls , Mich. Agues llcrndon will begin h.-r season In Chicago next mouth under Joseph Jcssuls management. Mabel Jordan. ( ! eerie .Ionian's daughter , Is playing with much success at Toolo'a theater , London. Miss Ellen Teny has temporarily lost her voice , and Miss Kmery is idling her place in "Kaust" with Irving. A "Hlack Crook" company now on the road has a ballet of six. They play one night stands , anil noictuiu. II. L. Hlcgliison , ot Boston. lately donated S'M.OOO to the Symphony society for the pur chase ot tirst-class instruments. Carl Hosa has bought M. Salnt-Saen's now opera , and will Immediately have it tiaus- luted and adapted I'ortho Kngllsh stauc. Hilly HIee , Hilly Swcatnam and Hainoy Fajraii have formed a now mlusticl company , to tiavcl unilei WIlllamFooto's management. A hat ami cloak loom has been Iltleil up In connection with the Ljreum thoatio , N. Y. , for the express pin post ) ol iiulueln Indies with tall hats to lease the latter oil dming tin ; pcitoimunce. liallct dancing is a pretty gooil business when > ou once net the hang ot it. Thus Maine , ' the exponent ot the Spanish fan dango , gets SinOCO a jear , Koslta gets SIU.OOO and hubia fcCUOO. , The composer of "Mi/pah , " a new Ameiican comic open , numbers among his claims to public consideration a dhoieesnit in which "Adonis" Dlxey has been named as o respondent. HeirNiumann , the famous ( Jcrman tonnr , now with the opera company in New York , Is the husband ol the actress Mine , ftecbach , who made so happy nil impiession in this country some jciib ; ago. IE. M. Field , ot Iho Boston museum , is to bo mauled to Miss Kmlicott , ot Canton , and Isaac I ) , liich. of the Hollls stiecl theater , Is to be united with Miss Baboo , daughter of an old Hobton apothcc.uy. Heimann. the conjurer , who has a handsome little sum of money laid aside , is looking for a good site In New Yoilron \Yhleh to iiiiild a theatre to bo devoted to the uses ol conjnilng alone. Mr. Hobcit Stopel's now opera "Unlln , " is now in rehcaihul at the Now York Casino. The groit musical learning and brilliant talents of Mr. btoepcl liiaiirc a huge share of Interest in the new woik. Mine. Scalcld and her husband , hlgnor Lolli. havua delightful homo near Turin , which , In tliolr alHeneo , is piactically tinned into a hospital for the poor people of the neighboihood. It Is called Soha , alter Us mistress. MissAIIco Vane , an Hnzllsh acliess , ar rived In this country Use or six weeks aito to fill nil uiignirementlth Mr. Lester Wnllnclc , but soon was piostrnied by a paralysis ol the splnn , and win probably never again appear uu thu stage , though she may Use for year- ) . When Marlc-Kozo Mapleson appeared at Glas-owas Klsa in "Loliengiiii , " 1.U03 uni versity students matched to Iho opera house in a body , took possession ot the galleiics and after till ! opera piosentcd to the singer a diamond set locket and chain and themselxes diagged her cunlavo to her hotel. It is alleged tlint Myra ( inmlwln will go to London and open at tlm ( ialoty thiMtio in May. Kiiinui Coodwln , her sister , lias boon actfnL'ln Kugland forsoveial seasons. The statement us to Miss ( ioodwin conflicts with with the announcement that Miss Anderson Is to open In May at the ( iaiety. CONNUUIAMT1ICH. Mrs. Fester , a ( iicen Hav , U'i. . , widow , iccently mauled , as her fonith Inish.iml , the sexton Who had dug the graves ol the oilier tlnoe. Twelve brhlew shyly pressed Ihcpusidont's hand dining his afternoon's reception. Thnv camii from all polnis ot the compass , but all blushed alike. ,1. li. Aldrich , lecontlj ideated fiom Jack son , Mich , , piIson , utter seivlng a term for blgiimy , has man led his eighth wile , the last bulng a slstei of ono of Ids lot mer victims. Hobeit Mnehlman. of Detroit , diow S'M : fiom the bank , Intending to bo nmiiicdtho next moriiiiiK. DurliiK the night a burzl.ir onleied ids loom , chloroformed him and stole the money. His wedding has been postponed in consciuenro. | A \rrv InTeii'stlng ceremony took place In the parish chinch ot Cedars , near Monticnl , on Tuesday murnlm : , when a widower , Charles Hey , was married -to Mrs. I'llon.a widow , and the MIII ot Mr. Kuy manleil nt the same time | o thu daughter of Mr , Pilou , A Mny sunsatlomd wedding took place Tliurday nlclit In Clehuino , Tex , The reru- moiiy was pel formed by a jnstUe of the po.icc , who united the romantic pair under thu litaillflit , between tlio hunks ot the eieek. Only the necessaiy witnesses \\cio piositnt. Wllllo Illnes , thy : , . , rntcpn-ynar-ohl Ron of a wc.ll-i.,1 , , fanner lit West Point , ( ia. , C'.iprt with mid married Mlns Newsconm , ten ) ens lil.i lenlor. In older In Keep bin father fiom following him tlm jonugmiiii Mii.ihho.l . the lamil } canhigu and tliiow thu Stidd'c ' into the well , Washington goa.slps are fully convinced that .Stciutiiiy Lanuir is to lu < imnileii within the next leu weidcs Tluiy argue that , as hit ha > taken ahirgft IKIUSIMJII \ stiect Instead of oceinijiiu lila iijiclielnr npartment-i lit thu Portland flats , im must ho contemplating un Imniedhttu matilmonlal venture. John \V. \ liede , of Lafayette , Im | . , w > > ; ! have bi'i'ii murkul ; on November .1 to Miss Muttlu H ' .rs , but on ( liit : < j.y no disappeared , iJetninlng hnimi a week later ho inailu an upolouy ( d Miss n.iteo ami Imy | wmo married un Tfmnksalving da > - Immediately after the cuiemoney ho excused himself ulul lias not been seen since , Young Mr. liaslt Io\cd yonnir Miss Hunt They lived } northuritein \ Canada , iunl when her parents mt'iW'l to have U.islt lir a son-ln-hiwIm nm uwa > with tliu dnn/litcr and succeeded In u'nchlng M. \ lucent , Mnn | , , wjiero they wrfe m.uiied. 'Jin-jut- tiactuu considerable attention Uaic bu.iu.u Mr. liaslt was slight and meek , and his toon- nle bride was six leet tall nnd weighed 'J.O pounds. Mrs. Piederlck , a daughter of the late Colonel William LOAVK of Sweet Springs , ( iroeiibilercminty \ . Va. , has recently been lolt a large foituno by a ccntlcmnn named Montgomery , who com ted her In early life. Disappointed , he went to the ( Cast Indies nnd them aeiiulrcd creat wealth. Ho died re cently , bequeathing his fortune to Mis , Kiedeilck on condition that she asumcs his name. ' A young lawyer of Hllavlllo , On. , banteicil a young woman at n social gathering to mairy him. To Ids evident surprise she told him to eel the license. Ho wouldn't be bluffed , nnd got tlio license at once , whllo otheis of tlm paiiv sent lor a clcnryman. Ho knew nothing of the joke , and when the pair entered the parlor nun In aim he thoucht It strange that the spectators lauchcd. Hut ho began solyin'nly , \ ! : H' . ' the p.uty wondered which of the l\u > would weaken lirst , and thu conttacting rattles each wished that the other would ask the minister to stop. When the thst oucstlon was nsKcd the jouug man concluded that the affair had gone far enough , and ho broke tanks nud tied , much to the young woman's relief. SINGUJnYlUTIKH. John H.Pholps , of tii'ranton. Pa. , has a hen that steals eluoKons fiom other hens. In Cheyenne. W. T. . a maltese cat drives the cows to and from the past'iies ns suc cessfully ns n cowboy can. Pltlsburg has produced the boss int. It whipped n eat and ( ought two dons for ueaily nn hour belore giving up the chest. It was six Inches long. A perfectly white hn/ynrd Is tlio curiosity of which Union Spiings , Ala. , nml the resi dents of that town mo so proud of It that no one will shoot nt It. Piinxsutawney , Pn. , has a crow that fa fonder of chewine gum than is n Boston girl. He steals pennies and buvs It from a I gioccryman who knows his weakness. A Pittsbuig confectioner has a tlog and n hoi so that are as fond of kissing each other as aio the aveiage young mairlcd conplos seen at Niagara. Kacti occupies the same stall ami the two mo Inseparable. A largo nnd sound Mlssoml pumpkin , in- rontly cut open , was found to bo Idled > vith thrifty vines and leaves. The seeds luul sprouted and soul oat vines , though theio were no signs of decav.the meat being sound nud sweet. The bird spidei of tioplcal America has a body only fem and one-half Inches long , but is no slouch lor all that. Us legs nro seven luclus lomr , it lives on young blids audit seems to hatch not lesu than 1'iUO , eggs at a lime. lime.While While at her homo about six miles above M ( idiotic , Cnl , , Miss Ophelia Coclnniie , who fs n student in the San Jose nmmal school , .shot n lynx weighing o\er twenty pounds and about tlueo feet long. She say.s It Is the largest lynx she c\er saw In that neighbor hood. A prutl-colorcd baby Is loported to have been bum iccently at Aberdeen , Mast. Its latherisa veiy bluck negro ; Its mother Is a light mulatto' Halt the child's body is black , the other half nearly white ; the hair on ono side of Its head Is kinky ; on the other , lluht and straight , wlille ono eye Is black and the other blue. For \earsn loon has had Its home on the Schuylklll , 110:11 : Philadelphia , but the other davit flew into the Xonloglcal ( iaidens nnd was cnptuiiid. Aionnd its neck was u little silver collar on which was oumnvcd "Nemo , the hermit , 13/1. " Thu head kouper of the caidcn savs that ho lias no doubt about the bird's great age. C. L. Kreueiicks. of Foil dn Lac. Wls.Jias n lien that knocks thu spots out of a patent Incub.itor. Ono day iccuntlv Mr Kiederleks found her under a hoiisu adjoining bis resi dence with a biood of eighteen healthy chicks. As tlm mcicury legisteiod lilteen de grees below y.eio t\ui da > s hist weuk , and us the hen had but little shelter , the tact seems remarkable. A sucking colt In Santa Kosn , Cnl. , found a half-filled sack ol b.u ley In the barn , and , after nibbling nt It , picked It up with its teeth and can led It to Us dam , who was tied titty fool away , and put It down In front of huri The owner saw this , took away thu b.ig and hid it In another p.ul of the bain. The colt found ft again , and ngaln cauled it to Its mother , who this time was allowed to cat the gialn. I'HPI'HKMINT IWOl'K. Never blow your nose nt the table. If yon cannot help it nsk some onu else lo blow theirs lor jou. Alter all has boon said In dcilslon that can 1)0 , It must be acknowledged that busliics mull like a bustle. Tlio ' 'Vanishing Lady" fsa now trick be ing pcrfoimcd In New Vork. Tliu vanishing nldeiman lias uccomu an old tuck In that city.A A prom recently pi luted Is entitled "Haillo Whenever You Can. " It was not wiltton by a piohlbltlonlsl , wo bcllovu New York ( itaphlc. The Alfa California Inquires "Why do tho' ne.wspapeiH always speak of a 'cool mil lion' ? " Wo pusiime It Is because they think it an Ice thing to havo. Petroleum V. Nasby Is now encaged in wilting iiiticlcs In mlvocficy of prohibition. When asKcd uhy hu was so opposed to wilts- Key , he icplmd : "lincausu I have got enough. " Customer Hut ain't the lumbers too long ? Tailor Too long' . ' ley ) IK madu to fit a man exactly your sl/e. II your legs happen to bo ndilllo short you must quarrel mil nuturo ; not dn tailor , "Do you nut nn 'n'ln ' whiskey here1' asked a nuw lupoiternf a Kentucky p.iner. ' No , " lepllod thu editor , wlio was slightly deal ; "HO put nothing In wlilsKuy hciv , W take it straight , " A r.lL'ii . iu ; f , moms of a western hotel roads nsrr > llfm > ; "Indian clubs and dnmb-Oulla u III not Im | ici milled In any of thu IOUIIIN , ( iiiosts in need of oM'ici e oim go down to the kitchen am ) noiind a stc.xk.1 Nothing plrasos n hoiMK-ar conductor mine than Id lice a .spoony coupjo get aboard IdfuoiiM-uinee. Hu knows lie will have un npporlunioy lo pass oft n php/ged quarter or two In change without ( enrol detection , Vat Ions exchanges nwit tlyit I'rcHldotit ( 'U\el : in.I IKIH mi cxnlolhii biicli i'5 ' 'hy tlio oluinall" ot Andiew Ji.eliU.n ; but \\u hu\o It on iliomithriiiiv , , r Mtvouil do/en olllce- sccker.i ll i iialia- . this ono ; "Nut by u Pan sir. ! . ' . : : , Tlui Style in IC.-IIIHIIH Oily , I'hiciitfo Herald ; "Talkln1 about res- taiiiMiits , " said a ( lommercial traveler , ' 'I ' tldlik Kansas ( , 'ity must bu placed at | ho head of the pioccsiion in that line , Antony Iho many ijtieur si n.s in n icstuu- cant down theru is ono whuli reads * : OUH 'LA NKL OMCKS , iA VMM ) WI1/LAKNJALL'WOOL. . :