Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, November 07, 1886, Page 9, Image 9
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY , NOVEMBER 7 , 1886 , .TWELVE PAGES. HOBBIES OF GOTHAM GIRLS , Clara Belle's Review of the Freaks of the Ultra-Fashionable. POWDER , PAINT AND PRIDE. Some Awfully Nice Girls In Trousers Jin 11 Milliners or tlio Metropolis A Modern Tournament , Nr.w Yoitrc , Nov. 4. [ Correspondence of the Hr.B. ] The beaux and belles of this city have been mounted on hobby liursos nil this wcukfor lior.se lias Indeed been their hobby. Whut with tlio old combination of rnce homes and an after noon ball at Juromo park on election day , the steeplechase horses at the hunt club meetings , the horse show at the Madison Square garden , and the usual amount of equestrianism In Central park we luivo had n great equine time alto- gothcr. Horseback exorcise Is ultrafashionable - fashionable this season , anyhow , and under the extra stimulus it has become a manln. The matinee dance nt Jerome park was a curious all'iilr , and 1 couldn't muka it seem to mo that daylight - light festivity of that sort was nmirablo , Of course , tlm girls iliiln't wear evening dre.ss , with bared necks and arms , and their attire wax such its they would have worn on an afternoon round on callsbut. . In some respects they were uon-plussed in mak ing up their toilets. For Instance their cars. HotvV 1 will tell you. A new trick , learned from actresses , is to tint the ears for evcnine occasions. The fem inine m'ind has taken the notion that , so long as men speak admiringly of pink oars , an auricular deep blush may as well be jmt on to stay while desired. Therefore , when adorning themselves for ball , opera , or other place of personal display , they rouge ( heir cars inside and out. As the adjacent portions of their necks and heads are white , either natur ally or from powdering , the contrasting is rather startling. Well , some of the girls at Jerome park HAD I'AINTKl ) I'.AItS on their frivolous heads. Leonard Jerome , a boss commiltceman , ga/.ed for u moment at one of them , and then caught her in his armsheld her tight and kissed her. She was a distant relative , and , he a veteran , but she got nngrv just the same , and asked him how he durcd. "Ai > old custom of the husking bees , " he said ; "when you sec a red ear , you can kiss thn girl who shows it. " The riding academics favored by Fifth avenue damsels are clustered close to the southern entrances of Central park , and three are right alongside of the corner groggory which John L. Sullivan runs. It is considered perfectly proper for a belle to walk in her saddle costume to the stable whore her horsu is kept , and the sight of a shapely , graceful creature thus costumed is familiar in that neigh borhood . Have you ever thought of the micccssion of heroines whom IMOU Hoitei- cault has puton the stage in equestrian dress ? He realizes how distmgulshcdly striking they are as dramatic figures , and so he repeats them in nearly all his plays. Somebody told me , last evening , as we satin a theater looking at the two whom ho introduces in his current piece , that he complained at a rehearsal of tlio gait , and mien of a certain actress. "This is a dress rehearsal , " he said , "anil yet von appear without the trous ers that , quite as much as the skirts , be- lonu to a ruling habit. " 'J he actress started nervously , and looked down losee that the heavy cloth of her outer garment reached the tloor. ' 'Oh , I know that tlio trousers are not on you , " continued the old actor ; "if they were , you would have a certain pride of carriage that you now Hck. A WOMAN IN THOIJSKIIS invariably assumes a cammanding atti tude that she cannot possibly counterfoil in their absence. " "Is that surely so ? " the actress asked. "Never a doubt. " he retorted. "Mr. Houcieault , " and she pursed up her mouth qui/y.ically , "havu you over Been Dr. Mary Walker ? " lint I began to write that the dainty belles of the saddle had to pas.s under the close gaze of tlio pugilists ami loafers in going to tlio equestrian establishments ami they do tell of AN AWKUM.Y NICK ( HIM. Who , after n ten-mile gallop , in that one-sided , lop-footed position winch the /air sex has to assume on horseback , was BO cramped and rudderless , that she veered sideways grotesquely when she walked oil' . She looked exactly as though one foot was bound to step thirty inches every time the other did twenty. Tlio irregularity of the "rait was comical. Hut a. slugger , seeing her from Sullivan's doorway , construed her dilllculty as alcoholic , and , going quickly to her , ho aid i "Hraco up , Miss take along breath , pull yourself together , you'll fuel all right in a minute. " Hut in a much shorter space of time she convinced him , by an angry exclamation and a scornful look , that his sympathy was misplaced. A MAI.K 1MIKS3MAKKK. In the way of men displeasing ly situ ated , 1 have to-day visited a male dress maker. It was out of business hoursand 1 found tlmt in unprofessional moments ho was not a Miss Nanoy , Let us call him Itlanc. He was in ugly carpet slip pers , his hair disordered , his faeo un shaven , yawning , glum , sliding and slip ping slowly along in order not to wako the niannikins , those spynxos of fashion. "Good day ; hope you're well ; what can ,1 , do for you ? " "Winter approaches , and I conio to Icain what will be the now fashions , " "Very well , I am at your service , but let me extinguish my pipe. " All ! my line lady , could you but see that Illtliy burnt brown plpo that had lately been in the lips of Mr. Blanc , him 1 whoso exquisite'taste you love so much , whoso slender , pink lingers touch your shoulders when he drapes them In soft tillcsl Ah , my line lady , what disen chantment ! "You know , " said our friend , "nothing it > Dually decided at this tune ; wo are groping about ; , the battle of toilets is making ready , but the troops are not-yot in lino. Our aristocrats have not yet re turned from the country. This is the vtiitn of tilings to-day Wo sugtrcst now forms ; our customers drop in ami exam ine them ami wo make note of their coin- men Is , Then wo present to the world these forms that make the greatest hit. It tluib that fashions are decreed. Our toilets are elected by a universal suf frage. Hero , however , are the slutl's that will housed. " And Mr. Hlauo led mo through u Jong hall crossed by an immense counter ; samples , labeled and numbered , were arranged thorOon In high piles , Little ailK will bo worn this winter. Fashion is returning to woolens , and woolens will predominate everywhere during the coming season , Hlaue. showed me cloth made Irom the wool of the llama , Pales tine drugget , thick packing cloth. Her- galine woolens , poplins , Poking with and without stripes , and a stun" from tlio hair of the wild boar. The shades already chosen are plum , sea blue , garnet , tobacs co brown ; anil sapphire and eabbasre- XITOII will bo all the rago. Ulidcr Hlano's nimble fingers dross after dross sprung from its ease and folded itself about a munnikin , and ax it came into its proper pjaco it seemed little by Jitllo Jo Imconio endued with lift ) ns It took shape. The colors blended , re flected , twinkle before my eyes , and al though the mclancholly rain still beat upon the window panes , felt cMItlishlv gay. It was liko. setting foot for the first time in a strange laud where spring was just blooming. We looked at cloaks , furs , always the same from season to sea son , bonnets higher than those of last year , and caps made of otter or astra- chan singly , never utilized together. At last my man taking warning from the wide and more wide opening of my enraptured eyes , closed the wardrobes , and having escorted me back , exclaimed gleefully : "Listen lo good new * : the bustle will diminish. I whom you see before you , have used my he-it endeavors to this end. 1 hope to make It disappear entirely. " A MODKII.N TOrilNAMENT. In days of old , when knights were bold , etc. . it was the fashion among gentlemen to charge on each other on horseback , get holes poked through themselves with lances , bang one another over the head with big iron clubs and carve eats , noses and arms oft" with swords. They did all that for fun , or to settle their claims to fair ladies' hands. They dressed in boiler- iron overcoats and tin trousers , and looked very picturesque. It is not on record that a job ever was put up at the Hound Table to gull the public by a hippodroming tourney , or that Sir Lancelot and Sir Galahad ever had a bogus bout in the ring , or went in cahoots on gate money. In these points modern tcvivals of chivalry dill'er from thn original article enterprising showmen arc trying to get New York interested in the medieval amusement of mounted combats and one exhibition of the kind has been given this week. Society was largely represented in Cosmopolitan rink , for the beaux am ! belles saw a promise of a now diversion , in which they might themselves take p.irt in the future. THi : (1AI.LANT ( KNIttllTS worn Xuvior Orlowski , purporting to bo one of Kaiser Wilhclm's Black llussais , and Captain Grant , ostensibly of the British army. Grant wore a tin corselet thatlookcd.pretty , and Orlowski encased himself in a vast padded like a ball catch er's bib. They took long poles with knobs on the ends , anil , at a signal trotted their horses to the center of the ring , where they frebly looked at each other. Grant devoted himself to getting out of Orlowski's way , and the gallant knight from Prussia jabbed him gentlv in the back. Every prod was a point. To vary the monotony , the referee gave points to the champion of British ehlvalrv when " ho didn't touch the Ulack Hussar" Then the spectators jeered. The lance combat proving tame , and nobody getting hurt , the knights dis carded their poles for cavalry s.uiros , and the spectator began to cherish hopes of at least seeing a linger chopped oil' There was no chance of lopping an ear or slitting a nose , because the horsemen wore masks that perfectly protected their heads. Grant's charger had got into the habit of turning tail , and adhered to that. plan. The result was that Orlow- ski thumped the captain on the back with his trusty blade every time , and marred the glittering splendor of his tin cuirass with unsightly dent * . In the lifth attack , after clashing the swords together in the style of stage fonepr.sGrunt turned as usual and beiit over his steed's neck to avoid the customary whack , exposing a new and more vulnerable part to the enemy. Hut the chivalrous Hussar scorned to wound a gentleman in his scat of honor , and waited for him to turn and get 0110 creditable scar on the front of his armor. Then they changed horses , but that didn't change the fortunes of the fight. The Hussars bay was disgusted with Ins new rider , andafter one effectual charge to the center , he deliberately turned and marched out of the arena in spite of bit and spur. It required the efforts of two hostlers to induce the beast to involve himself again in thomcdlvial tomfoolery. Oriowski'a made some moro dents in the tin armor , and then the horse broke up the whole show by walking determined ly to Ids stall , with the champion of England on his back and absolutely refusing to lower his equine dignity by having any thing more to do with such nonsL'nse. An appeal was made to Horsctrainer Gleason to take the animal in hand , but ho said he guessed that horse didn't need any educating ; it seemed to bo a very in telligent and sensible animal. The rof- creo announced that , as Captain Grant's horse was unmanageable , the Captain conceded the victory to Orlowski , where at the spectators hissed derisively. Then Orlowski , gallant reviver of chivalrv and noble games of totiruey.boldlycliallenged any one of the hissers to come forth and meet him on the gory Held and break a sword or lance with him. The rennais- anco of medieval glory expired in one long derisive hiss and society will not take up the lance. CLAIJA BF.I.MO. A Nebraska Farmer In a Chicago Hotel. Chicago Herald : The annunciator of a Randolph street hotel jingled excitedly about 10 o'clock last Wcdesday night. The alarm came from a room on the fifth floor , which was occupied by a Nebraska farmer. When one of the sleepy bell boys rapped at the door a few minutes later he found the rural guest crouching in one corner of the room with his eyes fixed on a blue bottle which was sus pended from a nail near the front win dow. "Gimme 'nuther room , " yelled the granger when he beheld the boy at the door. "What's the matter with the room you've got ? " inquired tlio drowsy lad. "Gosh durn it ! 'Do you fellers think I'm going tor sleep in a room with one of those dyncrmlto bombshells in it ? " "Where's the bomb ? " asked the boy , taking a step backward. "See it hangin' agin' the window over there , " ( 'Mattered the farmer , pointing to the green bottle. "Why , that's a fire grenade , " chuckled the boy. "A what ? " asked the granger , coming out of the corner. "A lire grenade , " repeated the boy. "All you've got to do is to throw it and " "Yes , and get blowcd to kingdom conic , " broke in the guest with a wild slant. " 1 know whut them durn things arc. Now , take it out of the room , " "Can't do that , " replied the boy "it would bo atrainst the rules of the house. " "Well , then , gimmo 'nuther room. " "Can't do that either ; the house is full. " "Well I'll ' be durnod If I'll go to bed with that thing hangin' in the room , and you can toll the keeper of this 'ore tavern that 1 said so , " The boy was hero summoned to a room on the next floor , and when ho returned , twenty minutes later , a horse snore from the darkened room in which the bomb hung , told him that the granger was asleep , When the chambermaid entered the Nebraska man's room lido the next mornIng - Ing she found the grenodo resting on the corroded bottom of thu pitcher with about nine inches of water looking down upon it. Attached to ( ho handle of the pitcher was this card ; ; SIHAS CILKOHD , ' OAKU.U.I , ; I.ct tip r be , it ranger , ; elio's loaded At tlio Dedication oCtlie Slntiio. Chicago Rambler : "My "oodncssl what a crowd ! Can you .see President Cleveland ? " "I am trying to distinguish Inro. " "You may as well give il up. Ho has- boon trying for .somo time .to distinguish himself withoiit suvccsi. " prHTrri T nint titir * II TTIMI GENERAL BADEAb S LEITfciu Some Interesting Gossip About Pritcs ami Players. THE FAMOUS JERSEY UtY. American Aristocrats "I tint a I'rln- ness in my Own Country * " [ COl'YIIIOIIT , 1931 ] Nn\v YonK.Novcmbcr 4 [ Correspond ence of the Heo. ] Who shall say th.it the world docs not move ? The republic has wrested from royalty two of Us great est and latest favorites. Within tlio same week 1 have seen Laugtry and heard Oudin in the American theater the woman whom the prince of Wains de lighted to honor , and the gentleman whose pongs only lastsumuier Iho princess of Wales constantly accompanied in her own drawing-room. To-day any demo crat who chooses , for a dollar and a half , may share thu delights of prince * , and of princesses too , which arc apt to be moro inaccessible. The first time I saw Mrs. Langtry she was on the arm of General Grant. Lord Houghlon. had given the general a din ner , and afterward , according to English fashion , there was a reception , "to meet tho-e.\prcsidcnl. " At least half of the important and fashionable people who call themselves " world" "the were pres ent. 1 remember the duke of Argyll , Lord Granvillc , Henry Hoove , the editor of the Edinburgh Review , Pierreponihe ( American minister , Thomas Hughes , tlio dtiko of Sutherland , and lesser "robillty and gentry , " as the tradesmen say in their circulars , without number. Lord Houghton wanted to pay General Grant every honor , and there was no Lady Houghton , and Airs. Langtr.y was then in all the freshness of Uo- beauty and her fashion , he asked the ox-president to take her to supper ; and the two went in at thu head of the company. That was nine years ago last Juno , and the "JK. bBV 1.II.V. " as she was called , had not been the rage very long. The daughter of a dean on the little island in the channel , she had como up to town under rather peculiar auspices. She was a relative of Lord Haiiolage , who never was married , but had a whole bevy of daughters about in society , and Mrs. Langtry was introduced at the same time with some of these. She was to act as a cliapcrono to her ille gitimate cousins , so that her initiation was Hardly in her favor. Hut this beauty was not born to blush unseen , and as soon as she was discovered she took the town by storm. It was by no moans only because the prince admired her that she became famous. Lcighton wanted to paint her , and duchesses petted her be fore she was presented at court. Hut when once the royal seal was set , of course everything else followed. I was told again and again that nothing like ncr success had been known In London since the days of the Gunnings' , tlioso marvellous sisters , of whom one became countess of Coventry , and the other in succession duchess of Hamilton and duchess of Argyll. It is strange how oven social history repeats itself. I remember - member as a boy reading Horace Wai- polo's account of the English nobility mounting on chairs and tables to look at the Gunnings ; and a hundred years after Walpole I saw them do the sumo thing to got a glimpse of Mrs. Langtry. She could easily have been a duchess had she been unmarried. Lady Dudley , her only rival in my time , wag the daughter of a Scotch baronet ; Lady Dudley's sister was the duchess of Atholc , another was the un happy Lady Mordnnnt , and a fourth be came Lady Forbes , of Nowo. They were all married for their beauty , but not one of the four was equal to Sirs. Langtry when her charms wore in their early per fection. THK MKN OF FASHION of the highest rank raved about her , and oven in America her intimacies with roy alty were known , llerc they were exag gerated into relations not creditable , but when a newspaper said such things in England , Mr. Langtry prosecuted the editor , who expiated his oH'enFO by eigh teen months in jail. Moro harmless stories did not bring so condign a punishment. It was said that the beauty became so spoiled as once to drop a piece of ice within the collar of the royal coat , and a temporary coolness was the not unnatural result. ANonir.it BIT OK c.ossii' also shows that fascinated princes never quite lorget tlio awful distance between themselves and the beautiful , but com mon clay they condescend to admire. At a pardon party the pctUul lily playfully said to her future sovereign. "How's your wife1' and the heir to England's throne put on all his thunderbolts. "Her royal highness , the princess of Wales , is well , " ho haughtily replied ; and for nearly a week the world was wondering why he did not join the beauty in the row , or dance with her at any ball. Hut at lust inchoate majesty became an- pcased , and the lily lured her nrincely admirer to her side again. Ho was not so amiable as George III. , who only laughed when Maria Gunning told his majesty she had scon every sight in Lon don but a coronation ! Hut , 1 repeat , it was not only royalty that the Langtry charmed. Again and again , as at Lord Houghton's , the daugh ter of the country dean was taken in before - fore duchesses. Even tlio common people - plo caught thu contagion. Late in the London season it is high fashion to walk in the park on Sunday afternoon while the rabble starcu ; and many a time have I seen the crowds open to let her pass , and follow her with their eyes , gay.iug across the ring , as if film had been a royal personage. Happy then the carl or duke , or sometimes higher potentate who was permitted to walk on the opposite side from her husband. For Mil. LANUT1IY was at this time always her escort ; ho was always welcomed at Marlborough house with tlio wife to whom ho owed his invitations. They kept only a quiet lit tle house ami an unpretending brougham , at tlio siirht of which scandal was silent : foi their poverty was the best proof how cold or inaccessible the beauty had re mained. Hut at last they got into trouble. Their modest income could not hold out with tlio ducal revenues and hereditary magnificence of their lofty friends. What was a couple of thousand a year by the side of the heirlooms of those who came in with tlio conqueror ! Langtry was in distress , A friend who know it went to him one day and offered him a thousand pounds if hu would get the endorsement of THK I'lllNCK OP WAMH to 4QiiiQ business enterprise. Langtry considemcl , and as his needs wore great , consented to : > k. Ho did not beat ahout the bush , nor make pretences , but went frankly to the heir aoparont and sad ! : "Sir , I am oll'urcd a thousand pounds if 1 got your fignaturo to this paper. " His openness won the prince who merely said : "Show it to mo , " and at once put down his name. Laugtry got tlio money , but it did not last him long. The beauty must have moro gowns , for beauty un adorned is out of place in royal houses ; and finally beauty went on the stage , whore now the wears liner clothes by far than in the days when she wont to court. Hut she could have got the gowns had she been so minded , without gohi on the stago. Ills better tor you and mo. democrats , that she chose the btago. 1 had not seen her bincoi left Kpiiiiid ! in J8$0 , till the oil. r night whn I wi.-nl to "Tho L : ly if Lyons. " I fo'.ii ! ft r awK nol all the radiant freshness.and . oxquisiti1 doilciry that once eni'lianU'd urniccs , but quite enough rxploJn hothistory. . 1 found the same di 'tiuc on of hearing , the same grace of dpmi'iiitprvtliosaiiu ! wuin iiigursi of look and gt'Jturft I once had rcco - nix.cd , added still to charms of fuop ami form stu'li us uroi rarely seen except in ideal stiUunry. Tha 'dress of the empire and the codfuri ? of the time heightened .tlio effect and revealed the outlines that princesses have envied. The features v/cro a little sharpened by hard work and some anxiety , and 'ten years will leave their trace on the monfortunatuof tisal ? : but tht'ro is now atiharmof c\pri > s < lei : ' which once tho'pcttcd favorite lacked. 1 always thought unit m.ANOivo , root , In othnr days , but Uhe actress throw ? an ' ardor into'tlio ej'cs that then ga/.i-d calmly on dukes and democrats , while the mouth that smiled so languidly and frigidly now bestows blandishments on Claude and on tho'audianco such as sov ereigns have waited for in vain. Evidently for others too the charm is not yet faded. 1 have not seen TUB LILY OFF TltK STAOK In America , but two days ago 1 was pass ing a hotisu on Twenty-third street , and noticed a score or two of well-dressed people on the pavement. It was at the entrance to a station of the Elevated rail way , and the stopstwcro lined with pas sengers , willing to.'loso . a train. I asked what was the attraction , and was told they worn waiting to see Mrs. Langtry come out to her carriage. As she passed thev craned their neck to get a irlimpse , and 1 among them. All 1 could distin guish was that lithe llcuro which Hcati- 'hcaiit admired ; 'nit L heard the women especially exclaim : "That's her back. Isn't she Jovely ? " AMKItlOAN AIIISTOrUATS. The Jersey Lily who hail royalty and aristocracy 'at her feet is tlio best possi ble proof that tlio aristocracy of nature I'clipsos that of birth and rank oven in the most pretentious and exclusive spheres. No duchess while 1 was in England enjoyed ' : v triumph to bo com pared with that of Mrs. Langtry , who may now beseon iuMior glory , trownsand all , without a presentation at court. And yet American women , at least the fash ionable ones , are always hankering after aristocratic advantages. If they only knew it , they surpass those whorr. they envy. American women have a natural charm , often an innate distinction of manner , that has made them sought at every court in Europe. Not long ago I was talking with a .country woman who know as much about foreign society as any other American , or indeed as many Europeans of the most favored class' , and wo amused ourselves by counting tiie compatriots we had personally known who had become countesses , am bassadresses , duchesses , wrince scs , not to say queens ( for Elise licnslor satvory " near" throne ) ; and there were a hun dred and twenty-four. Some of those women had been clerks in the war and treasury department in Washington , and soveraj were not at all of the society that calls itself "good , " no matter how bad its members may bo. I remember how thu Washington belles shuddered when a , little Georgetown girl they did not visit boroVoff a baron in tri umph before thcmalltiiut ahc demeaned herself as bravely as.any of her now sis ters , I have been told.aind has held her own at moro tliaii , one European court. For THE | ItKACfAinSTOCHACY know nothing of. ' the distinctions that Americans sot up among themselves. A lady who had a liuedOn struggle than any other who can bo naiiicd to win her pres ent position , who absolutely had to tight her way into society , -wont to Homo be fore she had accomplished her aim , and was received by the highest nobility. One day a princess , a Torloniu or a Colonna , gave a ball , and came -to the American to know which of hcMcot'mtry people I'o invite. Tlio Italiatil'IM'tho names , of tlw Van Henssolacrsrand'SfcliuVlb'rs 'and'Liv- mgstous on her list. "Ohl" said the American , " 1 don'tyisit any of those people ; " which wasvcry true. And none of tliem wore asked. , About the same time an American of largo fortune and "good" position was in Homo and at a ball. A I'KINCKSS WAS ANNOUNCE ! ) and everybody was expected to rise ; but this old lady told ino that she refused. "I am a princess in my own country , " she said. This mav have been carrying it too far , but it was bettor than the other ex treme of supposing that everybody who has a title is better than any body who has not. When Burlingamo was a minister abroad and the question of precedence came up , ho told me that the ambassadors declared they represented the persons of sovereign ! ' ; "Hut I am one of the sovereigns eigns themselves , " replied Burlingamo. A very few years ago an English noble man of no particular distinction or for tune at home paid a visit to this country , and brought letters to the Astors. lie had no idea of the position of those whoso company he sought , and wont to an acquaintance of mine to inquire. "Who are these Asters ? " ho said : "Poj- plo in fur. are they not ? " And that's 'what the English aristocracy think of ours. Is it not time that wo should set up for ourselves ? ADAM HAIUJAU. VurlioHlly. Xcio Yurk lltralil , The attack on legal verbosity made by Mr. David Dudley Field in his Hulfalo address on law and lawyers is as timely as it is forcible. Ho shows , for instance , that moro than nine hundred words arc used in a deed which can bo drawn in less than two hundred. The words "and his heirs , executors and administrators" arc put in a contract which without them would bind each party's estate For "work , " the lawyer writes "work , labor , service. " Ho is not content with "money paid , " it must bo "money paid , laid out and expended. " "Money had'1 is not. siillieient , it must bo "money had and received. " The multiplication of words and repe titions of phases .so coinmon in le al doc uments ant not only useless anil HCII&O- less , but mischevious , as Mr. Field thus points out : They lit'Ket and confirm our dreadful habits of verbosity ; tli | > V make they youim lawyers think that tlieno ! iwonls and phases mean something , and .ilius .tench falsehood ; they lend the minds oKulu and yoiuiK to run In grooves ; they ( HiciiUJtHJr , and because they encumber , they hlniliT. olncureaml confine : they innko It necessary , Jo write , ic.id mid rmird In the course oFn iar millions upon millions of useless word ) ) , nil which rosta real deal of time aiid'rirrfst ' deal ( if money. liumls , tor Instance , are jfojiicd or described in uiortira eh ; the lindrj a es must be rec orded , ami when a fumilpsiire takes place tlm contracts aie net fprtiy | in tlio pleadlnc * . All lead to fees , and thu .fees are burdens laid upon the shoulders of the borrowers. ' 1 no patience ivith ylllf IL iho people pny for these things and mo furthermore hindered by them IB phenomenal. , Endless verbosity oxijits In tlio legal forms of to-dav bimply boctuico it existed in those of the last centuryIt is an abuse that has never boon reformed. Jt is high time to reform it. Only Ono Inducement. Wall Street Wows : One of Pinkerton's men , who had followed a Chicago de faulter to Montreal , and was anxious to get him to return to thu states , hold out many promises in vain , and finally said : " 1 not only think the case can bo com promised , but you will be looked upon as an hone-it man. " "My dear sir , I was ligurelngfor twelve long years to got hold of this boodle , " was the ronly , "and the only Inducement 3011 could hold out to mo would bo to promise to help mo steal tlio portion 1 overlooked iii my hurry to get away. " SCANDINAVIAN POLITICS , A Noiwcgian Deputy on llic Situation in Denmark nntl Iceland. THE PEASANTRY OF DENMARK. Tliolr Social Condition Oppressive 5lo.iRiircs Tlic I'reiiMit Onnlsli Constitution A fl'a I rn In luolnnd. , Oct. II ) . fCorresdondonco cf tlio HKI : . ! While 1 was crossing re cently on olio ot the steamers that ply between Norwiy mid Denmark , I fell into conversation with si rich Danish real estate owner , who saiil to mo : "Our con- ! -ervative party Is superior to yours in Norway ; it dooMi't capitulate , but keeps rijht ; on its old course. " Although I be long to the liberal party , 1 may oven say that 1 am a radical and took an active part in the constitutional struggle between Norway ami Sweden , which ended two years ago with thn complete capitulation of the reactionary ministry , and Its replacement by a liberal govern ment with .Julian Svordritp nt its head , 1 could not lielp protesting against this opinion of our conservative party. I therefore replied to my Danish friend a follows : "I consider our Norwegian conservatives to bo as far above yours , as ourGaldhotind [ A Norwegian mountain some 8,000 feet high. ] is above your Him- mi'lbjurg. I A Danish .sand-hill four or live hundred feet high. ] Our NOItWKClAN rONSiHVATlVKS : would never have followed their leader to such lengths as your Danish conserva tives have Estrup : and it is characteristic of the political prudence and patriotism of the Norwegian people in general , and of the Norwegian conservatives in par ticular. that the latter , after the supreme court had , in 1SSI , pronounced against the policy of their ministry , recogiu/.ed at last that it was their duly to hand over the government to the liberals. No frac tion of the Norwegian people would for an instant submit , as you do , to the spec ial measure concerning the finances , the press , and the carrying of firearms , which violate the fundamental law of the land , but which the king and his ministry have forced you to accept. roi.rnrAi.LV Norway and Denmark diller very widely , although both peoples a < ro of kindred origin , sneak almost the same language , and had. during many years , the same king. Wo Norwegians often overlook tills important fact when we study Danish politics , and are astonished that a system of government is continued , year after year , in Denmark , that we Norwegians would not sutler to last a single day. ac customed as _ wo are to a strict observance ot constitutional rights and totho usages and duties of civil liberty. Many of us Norwegians share the foi lowing opinion , expressed by one of your udviucod poli ticians : "The Danes have had an oppor tunity to make a revolution ; they would have been justified in doing so , it was oven their duty to do so. " Ho laid stress on the word duty. Why is it that the Danes do not revolt ? Why is it that they do not sei/.o one of the numerous occa sions given thorn to put an end to their present intolerable position ? The reason is that the Danish people are not yet ripe for the evolution they ought to perform. THE I'KASANTItr OK DKNMA1IK have not always been free , like the peas antry of Norway. It is less than u cen tury since Kolbjornsen , a Norwe gian by descent' , succeeded in putting an end to serfdom m Denmark..Tho English . say that It takes throe generations to make a jjentimitn ) * "It requires jii a time to convert a slave into n free man. Trials like those the Danish peasants arc now undergoing , are necessary to make men of them and nerve tiionitothe point of withstanding the tyranny of the royal power and its abettors. Nor is THE SOCIAL CONDITION of the Danish peasant the same as that of his Norwegian brother. The farmers of Norway find no class above them. In my country there is no titled nobility and no powerful body of landlords. In no other part of Europe is there so great so cial and economic equality as in Norway. And what a source of strength this is , and how it elevates the character of a people. In Denmark , on the contrary , the.ro exists a nuiueiTiis class of opulent and noble property holders , bound to gether by tradition , wealth , titles and social customs , and looking to the royal court as the center of public life. When the simple Danish peasant compares him self with these princely personages , hois struck by the inferiority of his position. This is particularly true of the farmer who has been sent up to the rigsdag , or parliament , by universal sullrago. Ho feels lost there. Then again natural causes tend to render the Danish moro subservient than the . .Norwegian peasant. The former lives on a comparatively rich low-land , and loads an easy humdrum existence , whilst ( lie latter , accustomed to sea and mountain , early learns to be active , intrepid and persevering. And the Danish soil tospeak figuratively this time has shown itself peculiarly well fitted for the nourishment of socialistic ideas , while in Norway , on the other hand , socialism has made little or no pro gress even in the larger cities. Hut if a nation is over to bo educated into freedom it must be that the Danish peopio will obtain this blcsmng through thu Ol'l'IMXSIVK MKAKUiKS thataro now weighing upon them.Vo in Norway worn astonished to see the rigsdag submit so humbly when recently the king by his own authority decreed certain laws concerning taxdion.thoreby : taking out of the hands of the people's ropresontatitives the tax-loving power ; and again when the judges of the su- iiremo co'urt , who are appointed by the king , condemned tlio highlv respected and beloved president of the folkothing. or lower house , Mr. Her r , to six months imprisonment for doing what ho had a perfect right to doopposing an impu dent attempt on tlio part of a royal police olllccr to prevent a meeting of liberal electors. And many of the friends of Denmark in Norway began to lose heart as they saw that public opinion remained unmoved when the royal police invaded the very folkething during a .sitting in order to arrest the president. Hut wo have learned not to expect the Danish to act an wo should under similar circum stances. Rome was noj built in a day. There are men and wofiTen too , in Den mark in whom wo put great trust and wo feel sure that a butter day will dawn on their country. The Danes made < OWAT : MISTAKI : when they for/iivd / their present constitu tion in 1H1 ! > , in not bctiift' inlltu'iiccd by our Norwegian form ot government , which hail then been on trial for many years , and which was based on what there was best in the constitution of the United States and the French constitution of 1701. The overhus , or upper chamber , which legislative toaturo is quiio un known in Norway , has proved fatal to Danish liberties , Composed almost ex clusively of members appointed by the king , of powerful landholders and high state otlicials , tlio over in ho been thu cau.se of the legislative deadlock , and of the folkothing losing its authority in financial measures. Hut how abolish or modify this branch of the legislature ? Few Danes havugot as far as this , They content themselves with the hope of being able to not ageing again the old- fashioned irachiiiery of tt-.tc : under a liew and better ministry. Hut there is no doubt in my mi ml Unit a revision of tlm coiiMdi\tlon 'Is iieee--ii'Vy In order I. ) avoid a repetition of oalamd.Us . . that nowWeich upon the nation. Apd along with this constitutional revision mi.clU comn n'ol jtily the suppression of the overhus , but .u < o the abolition of royalty and the foundation of a Scandinavian re public. To-day this may seem a Utopia. Hill history lias often suown us thn * . what i the daydream of onn generation be comes the living reality of the ne.\l. And now , a few doting words about a much- regretted brother-nation , ini.M : > . where K-dvup's uugres-ive government has al o produced it evil fruit. There , too. the revision of the constitution is now a burning qiu'sliou. The pael foreed upon I lie Icelanders in 1873 has shown itself , like the Danish constitution , to lie a bundle of theories th.U are impractic able for real government. The Icelanders wish for a constitution in conformity with our Norwegian o'le In the end , Den mark may find that Iceland wants more than a mere modification of its constitu tion. These sturdy islanders are Nor mans by race , ami will ever remain M > . Hut it is not probable th.it the Eslrups of Copenhagen will pursue sueh a suicidal policy as to drive Iceland to ehoo.-o be tween the paper lie that binds her to Denmark and the bond of kinship that- makes her nnn with Norway. A MF.Mnr.ii or TIIK SioiuniNO. True At a banquet given , lulyI at Fort Ticonderoga , N.Y. , bylho old soldiers , Andrew Hcvins , the well-known lawyer of this city , made IHO of the following beautiful language in response to the toast , "The Soldiers of Ticonderoga. " # w * * * Wo stand to-day amid the scenes whieli witnessed the birth throes of American liberty. Two centuries ago thu fortress ol Ticonderoga lay like a veritable lion across the only pathway between the Canadas ol the. north and the British provinces of thu south , and he who held the key to its frowning portals could ef fectually resist the advance of till whoso passage ho desired to oppose. And so it , was that , here in the early days ot colon ial history the chivalrous I'rench , thu sturdy Hrittous and the murderous sav ages of the forest contended for the mas tery ; and in later years the .soldiers of the revolution , children of the embryo re public , battled against tlio hireling Hes sians for the possession of this important stronghold. And it is cluelly in remem brance of those who here imperiled their lives during the trying scenes of tlio war of the revolution that wo sneak of the heroes of . Ticonderoga. 'lo them wo accord , with unstinted measure the most heartfelt praise , and say , "All honor to their memory. " They were actuated by the purest motives in their great battle for freedom. No hope of power or of conquest actuated or sus tained them in that terrible conflict. They fought tliut the eternal principles of humanity and justice might bo main tained , and that human liberty might , bo .something more than the unsubstantial shadow of a poet's dream. They fought to uphold the standard of Christ , ami to establish a government under which all people mi jlit follow His teachings aecoui- in to the dictates of their own eon- science. Hut. of all the hosts who hero main tained their sacred rights and bequeathed to their descendants a legacy of treedom , not one remains. Some died amid the fury of the conflict. Some gave up their lives in hospitals of iiain. Some passed away in after years in homes of peace , surrounded by loving kindred and the many blessings their valor had aided to obtain. Hut the memory of their heroic deeds still lives , and the glory of their achievements grows brighter and brighter with each recurring cycle of time , and future gonoratibns will gather here upon each anniversary of this glori ous day ami do honor to the memory of the noble dead , and those old ruins , which arc their fittest monument , will then , as now , do silent homage to the departed heroes whoso memory is forever inscribed upon the hearts of the American people. Hut it is not they alone who established the union of our fathers that are entitled to praise , for those who have maintained it inviolate through all the dangers to which it has been" since exposed , wo owe an equal debt of gratitude. And during all the hours of darkness ami danger , during all the times when our Hag was menaced , no truer patriots , no braver soldiers , have rallied beneath the stars and stripes than the sons of "Old Ti. " I. sec before mo many a bronzed and bearded faeo that I remember to have. seen in days gone by , when the shadows of disunion liiiug like a pall over the land , lighted by the fires of patriotism and lovcof country as its owner marched forth to do. and to die if need be , for the honor of the dear old Hog. Hut they are not all here. With fancy's eye 1 look beyond the. circle of living forms and see the well remembered faces of many , who in lliuheydisyof their manhood , went forth , bravo comrades of those who are with us here to-day , but who , alas ! have never returned. Hut living or dead they each and all are heroes , and had 1 a sculptor's gift 1 here would rear a granite shaft as ever lasting as the eternal hills. It should be surrounded by the goddess of love , ex tending a luural wreath , and upon Its sides should be inscribed these words : "To the soldiers ot' Ticoudoroga who fought on land and sea to preserve the union , this monument is erected by thuir grateful countrymen. " Otinatly MvpcrlnientN. A ghastly pantomime , recalling to mind Pou's narrative of the galvaiii/.ing of a mummy , was enacted on .Monday at the Practical School of Surgorv , Paris , where the bodies of Frey and H'ivietc , as already stated , were placed at the ins- posal of the surgeons to experiment on. A number of experiments wore made , among them the following : To reestablish lish the circulation In thu .severed heads , the veins were injected with blood taken from a living animal. The skin of the face , previously livid , bccamo charged with color , the lips recovered their nntual red , the cheeks filled out ; irregu lar movements agitated the skin , and the face resumed the appearance of life. Electric currents wore passed through facial nerves , and the contractions of the faeo were noted. There were , however , no results in the slightest degree indleitivoof any restora tion to life or consciousness. The nerves shortly ceased to betray unv sensibility , and it was evident that all perception and sensation was at an end. nn A no I Ion , Humbler : Auctioneer Next , ladies and gentlemen , I oiler to von thin beautiful oil painting with frame. No extra charge is made for the frame , A com plete work of art worth $ oO $ < W 100 , according to thu taste and liberality of the purchaser. The poor artist and his family are starving I am o lie red only * l..rX ) , Going' ' ( To sympathetic stranger : ) Will you look on and see this poor artist starve ? Oulyl.,0 ! Sympathetic btrangor : Only seventy- live. Triumphant Auctioneer : Gone ! It'ii yours , sir. PiMi'i.ES , blotches , scaly skin , ugly spots , sores and ulcers , ab.se.sses and tumorti , unhealthy discharges , such as catarrh , cc/ema ringworms , and other forms of skin diseases are .symptoms of blood impurity , taku Dr. J. H. Mel. can's Mver and Kiduoy Halm to purify the blood , and for external applications use Dr. .1. 11. McLean's Volcanic- Oil Liniment. Disastrous Dncouutcr of Five Indians With . a Oirons Ginfct. PETE NIXON ON HIS MUSCLE , A Thrlllliii ; Tnlo ot Frontier Idfo III .Minnesota in IHOU-Tlie "Can non Hall Man" Successfully Dcl'cnds Illvi Home. I have before me an old circus bill ot which my uncle , Peter Nixon , is repre sented as "Signor Giatiiti" and pictured as tossing cannon b-ills in the airasa buy would lling up apples. The bill says of him : "Wo will pay reward of t.OOO to anvonc who ean match him in foals of strength. " For live or six years ho trav elled with 0110 show and another as "Tho Original Canon Hall Man" ami it U a solemn fact that ho performed everything put down for him on thu bills. Hu was a veritable ( ioliah in strength , fairly skilled In boxing and wrestling , and many a local celebrity who took hold of Uncle Peter to lay him In the dust wont away sadder and wiser. In 1MKI ho became. disgusted with travel , married a widow in St. Paul , and , after the lionovmoon , the pair settled down on a piece of wild land a few miles from Now Ulm , As Peter had been imablc to save any money on the road ho figured that ho could not do worse as a pioneer. Ho was , more over , rather taken with thu idea of pioneer neer life and when he found himself bur led In the woods , four or live miles from the neatest t-ettlor and deprived of every thing m the way of luxury , he was not a bit discouraged. I > I-TIUMINII : : : ) TO snnc. When the Indian troubles of 1803 first began to crop up Undo Peter and his wife were urged to seek the protection of some fort or settlement. Ity this lime he had a clearing of twenty acres or more around his house , had planted corn ami potatoes and was the owner of a yoke of oxen , u cow and several head of youhg stock. To leave Ids farm would bo to leave everything to go to ruin , and he de termined to stick. When this decision was made known to his wife she declared that she would also remain , although ho was anxious to have her seek urotcclioa in the nearest settlement. Uncle Peter had hail time to learn something of In dian character , there being. scarcely a day but. that ho encountered some ot them , and while many called him "brother" and expressed the greatest admiration for him , lie felt that his scalp would bo no safer than any other man's in ca.su tlio redskins went on the warpath. His de cision to remain had no sooner been taken than he began preparations to de fend his own. Ho strengthened the sin gle tloor to his cabin , made loop-holes at difiercnt points , and built , heavy shutters for 1 ho windows. The next inovu was to make the roof lire-proof. Hy filling tlio spaces between the binders , which ran lengthwise with the roof , with earth , lie very nearly accomplished the object sought for.WAITlNfi WAITlNfi KOU ATTACK. The cabin stood on a knoli about two- hundred feet from the crock. Peter had only one barrel which ho could till with water. Thu log barn stood about two- hundred and fitly feet from the house , and that structure , of course , he had no- idea of defending. If attacked by Indiana they would probably shoot the stock and sot lire to the barn at onee . .llsj | > repirii- ; . tions for a siege had nol gojio unnoticed. , by the Indians , who chilled at lhercab'irt' < f $ usual and who scorned t have anything ; but murder in their hearts. They asked why ho was going to all that trouble , aud he answered that some bad white uiou had sworn to have his lifo , and 'ho " wanted to bo ready for them. It is doubt ful whether the redskins believed his story , whiloon the other hand he dropped no hint that ho anticipated any trouble. When the various tribes were all ready the war opened and they turned them selves loose to kill and scalp. For tluco days not an Indian appeared at Uncle Peter's cabin , nor did he see one in ( ho neighborhood. This ho took as a him ; that their plans were about ripe and ho kept his weather eye open. On the after noon of the day before the war-whoop sounded ho decided to turn all the slock loose to run their chances , and it may bo said hero that he after ward recovered the oxen and horses. As the sun went down hu barred the door , put the shutters Up to the windows and turned his faithful dog outdoors that ho might give the alarm in case the Indians came under Iho cover of darkness to set lire to the barn , ' 'The arms in the house consisted of a rlllo , double-barrelled shotgun and a revolver. Mrs. Nixon had practised .shootlng-with a revolver , and though not a good .marks man , she had considerable skill. Tlo niirlit passed without I he slightest alarm and thu morning brought such a bcaiiti fill day and JJKIMII : : > HO that between 0 ami 10 o'clock Unelo Peter determined to venture out. One of the calves had returned lo the barn and when ho left the cabin it was for tiu ! pur pose of driving il oil'again. . Tin ) calf moved around tlio corner ot the barn as Nixon approached , and just an hu wari turning tlm corner after it five Jinliami m war-pirj.nt appeared before him. Each of his arms w'S ; ( -ei/.ed by ti warrior , and -ui he stood there ion da/.cdand diinifoundcd for a moment to speak or act , the loader of tin' Indians chuckled' li.lfi satisfaction and said : " ( Jood. Little CioV , ' want you' Count long. " His words scorned to arouse Undo Peter from Ins trance , With a yell which could have been hoard above any war-whoon he Hung the two warriors to right and left and sci/.ed the leader. In a jill'y ho had shaken him loose from his weapons and slammed Him against the barn with awful force. It was a Illtlo surpiise party for the Indians , you ten , and before they could rally the sifiior doubled one up with a kick in the Mom- uoli , smashed iimithcr'n faeo with a blow of his list , and utter swinging the leader in the Jilr and hurling him to tlm ground , the cannon-ball man made a run for Iho cabin and reached it without being fired at , Alter the uprising hud been subdued and peace restored , ho was told that the plan was to capture him alive for torlnni. In his tusslf with them he broke one In' dian's arm and severely bruised two others. A 1'i.rcKV cori'i.i : . When I'nelo Peter dashed into Iho cabin he made his wife aeiiiiainted ivilh the situation in a word , ami they picked up the guns and went to thu loop helen to watch the enemy. Tint Indians ru- tired and did nol appear again until night had fully settled down. Then leu or twelve of them , who carried the trunk of a sni'ill tree for a haltering ram , boldly approached the door. Uncle Peter and his wifj opened liro. Tlio reports of the lire-arms wore followed by screams and yell and groans , and the log was dropped and the rcdifcius How to cover. One or two crawled away on hands and knees , proving that thev were wounded , while one lay btrclchod in death. After a sleepless night Unelo Peter and his wife were L'ladtlencd to find that the redskins had disappeared , and without delay limy joined the forced of Colonel Sjbley , and my linelo guvo a receipt in full for all the redskin * owed him by kill ing threw more.