Nebraska Newspapers

    '
* r
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE ; SUNDAY OCTOBER 31 , 1886.-TWELVE PAGE& . 11
AMOK THE WITS AND WAGS ,
A Pen Picture of the Toughest Town In
All Kansas ,
THE OflGArl GRINDER'S FATE.
Fnlo I..unn TrnKcdlep , Tlin .School
i , Street MKIIK , nml n
Variety of I'lttiy , Pointed
The Interrupted Hcvcl.
They stood In thcbaiiuom dilnkiiiff ,
Thewhl-ky and beer \ieio prime ;
As the.vdiaiik , no doubt , they \\urc thinking
They were having n "high old time. "
The beer that they diank was Uas ,
Tin ; Domlmii was eld and MIOIIK ;
And thev erleil as they clinked their
"Won't somebody slug us a SOUK' . " '
Jlnt just In the niMst of their stii-tlni , ' ,
hi the inl'Nt of the mirth they made
They heaid a melody ilnglm :
On nnoigan soltly played ,
" ' .Mid pleasure * nnd palaces , where o'er wo
may roam ,
Ho It ever so humble , there's no place llko
home.
A chin m fiom the skies scomi lo hallow ns
theie ,
Which , seek through the worlu , Is not met
with cKowheie ,
Home I homo ! sweet , sweet homo I
Theie's no place. like home , there s no place
1 1 lo home. "
* > * # *
As the notes of the organ-grinder
Aioseon the still nluht air ,
They came as a sham lemlnder
Of home and the loved ones there ,
Tim t lasses no more me rlinklns ; .
The mil 111 Irom the group has lied :
And the checks llmt llu hcd With drinking ,
With the hliiah of .shame are red ,
Mo moie from the brimming classes
They blow elf tlie snowy loam ;
And Into the street each passes
And takes the pathway home.
Then out to the street , in a passion
The barkeeper sttnlghtw.iy r un ,
Ills U'ctli with anger gnashlm :
And ho walloped the organ nun ,
A Tonsil Town ,
Letter ill Now York Times : Dodge Cijy
is the railroad terminal for emigrants in
search of bulliilo Dodge City wns named
after Col. Dodge , who commanded Fort
Dodge , on the outskirts of the town , and
i believe ho did not long survive the dis-
jiraeo. Dodge City is not lar e , nor
would its commerce excite the envy of
oven Chicago , but for pure nnd brilliant
ciiH.scdness it bus no equal in the country.
The principal street contains twenty-
throe saloons , seventeen dunce-houses ,
and twenty-one faro banks in two blocks ,
and there is n large and populous ceme
tery near by , tenanted mainly by gentle
men of a. convivial turn who hail once
.started in to have a little fun with the
boys. An ethereal young man from Phil
adelphia arrived at Doilge ( . 'ity the other
day and made imiuirie.s concerning his
brother , who had como Ihere for his
health a. month before. He was referred
by thu stationmaster to a saloonkeeper
half-way up Iho bloci ; . The ethereal
yomijj man found the saloonkeeper sit
ting in the doorway honing a bowie-knife ,
and made known his wish lo lind his
missing brother.
"Ver wanler lind Ueginal K. Smiths"
queried the saloonkeeper. "Keg-in-al K.
-lomnio .see 'taint John ,1. Smith , is its
no , he kem from Texis 'n got knifed
over 'n Kill Chowder's dance-house las'
week , llt'ciniil K.--biirc his name's
Smith ? can't bo that .you're looking for
u chump named Higgins that Broncho
Jack plugged yesterday * no ? well ,
well so many ot these d d tenderfoot
'
com'm1 and go'in' Ueginal did ho wear
blue ! goggles ? "
Hie young man nodded.
"Kinder sickly-lookm' cuss nat'ral
d-d tool ? "
The young man intimated that possibly
his brother might answer to that descrip
tion.
tion."O h--l him ? Why didn't ' you .say so
before he's dead. "
"Dead ? " echoed the horrified young
man ,
' 'lieader'n beeswax. "
"How how did ho die ? "
"Suicide. "
"Suicide ? "
"Called me a liar. "
The young man returned to Philadel
phia.
How Much lie MUticd III Wife.
Newman Independent : "JJrotlierSmilh ,
I am sorry to learn of your bereavement.
When did your wife die ? "
"Two weeks ago , Urother Urown. "
"I suppose you miss your dear wife
qulto frequently , do you not ? "
"Yes , 1 missed her last Saturday night
and ve.sterday morning more than over. "
"How came you to miss her more than
iKiial yesterday morning ? Did some
thoughtless person tear open your bruised
heart alresh by an unfortunate remark
in regard to the death of your wife ? "
"Iso , indeed , Brother Brown , t missed
her because I had no ono to scratch my
back. "
_
Clinlr "Wanted.
Wife ( just home from the camp-mcot
ing ) Wo have had such a glorious meet
ing to-day. You know what nn invalid
MM. BiMiton has been for fifteen years ?
Husband Yes.
Wife Well , if there over were saints
on earth , she's ono of them. She say.1
she has sat all through those long year !
in her invalid reclining chair without !
murmur , and in perfect peace and con
tcntmont.
Husband ( very much interested ) Is i
pos.-iblo ? 1 wish you would got tin
jiiunu nnd address ol the man who mndi
that chair.
Blio Wouldn't Take Oft Any Moi-o.
To\as Sittings : An excessively modes
young lady from Boston , who was at th
seaside , decided to take a buth , and afto
remaining a long time in the bathing
house she enlarged in a very long nml
very ample bathing costume. She , hoover \ \
over , retained her epoclnc-los upon he
nose. "But you are going to take o
your spectacles , nro you notv" asked
'female companion. "Never , " she n
opouded , blushing deeply ; " 1 hav
alrond been obliged to remove so man
articles that 1 won't taKe olV anothc
thing. " _
A Moonlight Tragedy *
A. maiden stood In the pale moon's light ,
blng he ) 1 tor the oih of night above ,
blnir hey t for tliu lover who clasped imr tlgl
With n warm , warm , medlawd love.
The maid was n winsome lass and fair ,
Ah mo ! her father w.is rich and old ,
JJutlmhawllnouch his glasses the youtlifi
And ho loosened his bnlhlog.floioe and lol
Sin 'oin ! ho murmured In accents low ,
And over the lawn did lhat bulldog danc
Till ho hleked thu lever well , jut.t below
Wlicio iho back of his braces held up h
junta.
_
lie Must Hu > o Ilucn nn Umpire.
Pittsburgh Dispatch : Dining a thundi
Btorm recently in a town up in Now Yoi
btato a man hurrying to n shelter wi
knocked seubde&s by a Hash of lightnin
Ho was taken into a hotel , and after 1
liad boon labored with for some time 1
recovered. Struggling to his feet 1
pf/.ed upon the anxious faces surroun
5ng him , nnd remarked with an nir
Foverity :
' 'Gentlemen , if order has been restore
wo will proceed with the t'nmo. "
Manner * at tll Hub.
Boston lU-jeonls Two visitors ono mor
in" wore doing the Public Garden , J in
Jiuiiittiiscd \ before the italyo ueartl
Commonwealth avenue entrance , nml ,
falling to recognize its bronzcn features ,
they tysolvcd to qtieMion the lirst passer
by. This proved to be a dignified old
gvtitlelnan with gyld-rimmcd spectacles ,
"Pardon me , fir. " said the spokesman.
"can ion toll mo whoso statue that isV
The old gentleman only gave them a cold
stare in reply and matched on The nest
piuser-by , a stylishly dressed young lady ,
was appealed to with a like result.
"Polite people ) these Bostonians/'said
number two.
Then a very dtnlr young innn with an
umbrella passed through the gateway ,
and to him the question wu put , the only
response vouchsafed being a .slight eleva
tion of the nose skyward anil a vigorous
use ot the umbrella to quicken his foot
steps. It was strange treatment , to say
the least , but finally , as a laborer ap
peared upon the scone , with a kit of tools
swung over his shoulder , they resolved
to make just ono more effort.
" ( iood morning , sir,1' said the spokes
man , with a very bland smile , "will joti
kindly tell mo the name of the person
this statue is intended to represent1
A very contemptuous glance , and then ,
ns the man strode on : "Ueorgo Washing.
ton , you d d fool ! "
The Street
Chlcaaa llemM ,
Did you ever pay attention In yonr lambles
almul Iheslieet
To the little p tinted sign younre always sine
to mi't'ti'
To iho little wooden Injun who spends each
day and nlirlit
Studying tthore to send nblow he never Ill-
lends to strike' . '
Then theic's the little glided clock , with Us
hands a-iminting stiaight
To the dotlots nicked out by heller clocks ,
when I t'.s n quilt tor alter ublit ; ,
And tight loiiuu the corner on an Iron ted Is
hung
Theeilmson shlngloof n laiindryimin , who
calls hlnibelf Ah Lung.
Then theie's the druggist's mortar nnd the
dentist's ' wooden | a\\s ,
And tlm turner. * bassuood bear with Us
clumsy ont.itretched paws ,
But the coal dealer stin gles on despite his
\\nllish name ,
And without sign or grn\cn image gets there
just iho same.
How the llnrber Kout Tnlly.
"No , sir , " said a barber to a suspicious
looking trriisient customer , who allably
remarked , as the lather was being laid
on , that ho supposed there were a good
many men who failed to pay their shav
ing scores.
"No , sir. I used to give credit , but 1
r.ovcr do now. Jn fact , nobody asks for
tick any more. "
"How's that ? "
"Woll , yon sec , " said the barber , trying
the edge of his razor on his thumb-nail ,
" 1 hnda sotof still's who used to ask mete
to chalk it down. I got tired of keeping
books and 1 adopted a. new sy.slem.
Whenever I shaved ono of those old
standbys I put a litllo nick in his uoao
and kept tally in thai way. They got so
they didn't want to run bills. "
There was a tremor in the customer's
voice as he asked Irom beneath the
lather : "Do you object to being paid in
advance ? "
A ComlciiHCil Society Novel.
rii.vrrr.it i.
"What is that voung man doing , Hor-
touso ? "
"lie is mashing. "
"Mashing what ? "
" .Mashing us '
'II\I'TIK : n.
"What is that large man doing , Hor-
tensoV"
"Ho is mnahmg. "
" what "
"Mashing ?
"Mashing the masher. "
"Kor what * "
"Kor mashing. "
niAl'l'KU III.
"What place is tins , Hortensc1
"This is tlie St. Louis workhouse. "
"What is that young man Uoitig ? "
"Mashing. "
"Mashing what * "
"Hocks. "
"What does ho mush rocks for ? "
"J'or mashing. "
Tin ; School Murni.
ll'ci.iMiiuliui Ciltlc ,
Oh , School Mm in I
Thou who toauhest the young Idea
How to scoot , and spankest the eistwhllo
Festive small hey with a hand that taketh
the trick :
Who also lamoth him with a hickory switch ,
And crownoth him by laying the weight
Ot a ruler upon Ids shoulders ,
Oh !
Thou art a daisy I
Thou makc.st him the national emblem
lied , white , and blue
Thou fiirnlshi'th tlie stripes ,
And hoseetii the stais.
Oil , Srhool Mnrm ,
Wo couldn't do without thee ,
And we don't want to try !
Thou art lovely and accomplished
Above all women , and It thou ait
Xot mairied , it is because Hum art
Too smart to bo caught that way I
All school inarms are women ,
Hut all women are not auhool mat ms ,
And , angels pjdagogie ,
Thai's wheie thou hast the bulge on thy
sisters !
Oh , School .Maim !
Thou mayiist not get much pay liniu below ,
Dill uhcan education is n national specially ,
And thou wilt g t thy lowaid In heaven ;
The only drawback being that thou staycst
theio
When then goest after It , and we ,
Who remain heio below for our toward ,
Miss \on llko thunder.
School Mann , it tlicie Is anything wo can defer
for you
Call on us !
Apply early ami avoid the rush !
Oflico horns from S A. M. to r > P. M !
Wo were a schoolboy once oursolf ,
And can show the marks of III
MukliiK Provision AenliiHt Tight
Money.
Pittsburg Dispatch : At breakfast time
yesterday morning ono of Pittsburgh
Lost olti/.ons looked uneasy and suspi
cious. Finally , ho remarked to his wife
as ho sampled a roll :
"Sleep well last night ? "
"Yes , dear , fairly well. "
"Didn't lind a man under the bed when
you looked for him last night ? "
"No , dear. "
"Aud you didn't hear any burglars
about thu house ? "
"Why , no , dear. "
' 1 tlfought you didn't , " ho roplicd ,
with a sarcastic smilo.ou didn't wake
mo up once to go down stairs to chase
him out. Pd like to know , though , whore
that live dollar gold pinco , those throe
silver dollars and those hnlf dollars and
qnarter.s 1 hud in my pocket last night
when 1 went to bodhavodisappeared to.1
" 1 have thorn , my dear. "
"Tho deuce you hnve ! " lie exclaimed ,
astonished by the openness of the con
fession.
nl "Yes , dear ; I road in our paper thai
money is tight in the east , and you know
il. it is just as likely to get tight hern OR 11
il.o is there ; so I thought it ucM to take i
away from you. "
o ,
Is A Doubtful Market.
Wall Street News : "Now , my dear , '
ho said as ho prepurod to leave home
ar after supper , "tho market hnsbcou fever
ark it.h . nil day. "
us " 1 boo. "
usK. "If wheat should go up a cent or tw <
K. 10 this evening I might not bo homo uiiti
Into. "
10
1C "Kxactly. "
1Cd "Aud in case wheat goes down don'
dot expect mo before midnight. "
"I see , Well , dear , you run along j
keep your we on wheat Rud stay as It ,
as you care to , for I've uskod Colone
llaskins ever to play whist this evening
and he'll bo sure to stay until midnight. '
The fever Biibildod and wheat stooi
. still and tno liusbaml ws back before !
lie o'clock.
WOMAN ASD HER WORK ,
A Poetic Panegyric on the Spanking Hand
of tha Tender Sex.
SOME FIELDS OF EMPLOYMENT.
The Nobility of Motlicr -Imw
Women ns Mirrors of Knslilon ( intl
Occupants of Bti-eel CnrM 'As
sorted Select lone for Women.
The Ilnml of Woman.
ITVlllam Itntt ll'iii'iirr.
Hle slngs on thu hand nf woman 1
An. eft guaul Its strength nnd grace
In thep'ilaee , cottage , liuvol.
0 , no matter where jlio place !
Would that net or storms iwalled It ,
Italnbuws over ten tly curled :
For the hand that locks thu etmlle ,
Is the hand that rucks the woild.
Infancy's thu tender fountain :
Power inny with beauty How ;
.Motlii'H lirst to guide thu streamlets ;
From them .souls unrcstim ; grow ;
Grow on for thu need or evil :
Sunshine streamed or darknes hurled ;
For thu hand that rocks the ciaille ,
Is thu hand that locks thu world.
Woman , how dlvliu < yonr mission
lleic niton our natal soil I
Keep , O keep the ymmit hi'ait open
Always to the. breath of ( ! od I
All tnio trophies of thu nees
Aru fiom .Mother Love Impcarled ;
For thu hand that locks tlu ; uiadlc ,
Lsthe hand that rocks thu world ,
tliu hand of woman !
Father ; ? . .tons and ilnuelitcrs cry
And the sacii'd soil ) ; Is ml ML ; led
\Vltli thu worship In thu ski ;
. . .Minnieshero no lempi'sldaikens ,
italnbous iwerinnie am hurled :
For thn hand that locks the cradle ,
Is the hand thai locks thu world.
Woman 11 nil HIT Work.
New York Independent ; Thut woman's
work is underpaid , thai few lioldt ; or re-
imnii'rativi ! employment arc open to
womoti , thut in tno matters of work anil
wage * they art1 , In ijoneral , oppressed mid
wronged , are prevailing notions among a
largo number of women who seek cm-
ploymunt , nnd also among many kind-
neiirled people whoso knowledge of the
subject Is fortunatel.y tor themselves
limited.
Itistrni ) , lamentably true , that there
tire very many struggling unfortunates ,
gasping in life's ocean and catching at
strawy , because they have not learned
how to swim. Lamentably true that
many poor creatures are wearily singing
thu song of the shirt , sometimes oven
mothers with young children to feed ,
who cannot , by their steadiest work , con
trive to earn more than 00 cunts per day.
Our charity sooi"ties arc-continually find
ing such cases , ami hundreds of others
ilrair along a miserable existence , and
perish without aid or recognition. Hut
this sad state of things is not because the
sufferers are women , excepting as it is the
natural result of the general hlftlc sncbs
in thu training of girls. AJboy of .seven
less than the average brightness of mind
and that is not great soon discovers
what a woman of even more than the
average ability isslow to lindout , namely ,
that work is paid for. not that thu laborer
may live , but because the result of the
labor is something that is wanted. If
the tiling ho makes , the work he. does is
worth-fl , ho gets it ; if it is worth more ,
liu nets more ; if less , ho gets less. This
very speedily brings him to thinking
what kind o'f work will return him thu
mo tmonej , and this again shows him
that the product of skilled labor is worth
more , than that ot unskilled ; and , if thu
boy bo not hopelessly la/.y , he will speed
ily apply hiniMill to learning how to do
MJmetnnvg that will command its own
price. It the exclusive , sordid , sellish
aristocracy of the trades-unions does not
shut him out he will learn a trade ; and ,
as a good mechanic , he has an assured
future. This is , of course , always np-
poking that the boy has no bad habits ; if
thu.se have fastened their gangrenous con
tagion upon him that is another thing.
The average bov knows , from his ear
liest days , that he must depend upon his
own cll'orts for his own .support and that
of his family should he grow to bu a man.
The average girl is taught by every con
ceivable influence that her part in life is
the passive one ot being supported.
When she wants something .she does not
already possess it never occurs to her or
to any member of her family that she
might or ought to be able to earn the
mone.y which would procure it. Shu
simply asks "papa" to give her the cov
eted object , or mamma asks papa for her ,
or she asks her uncle or her big brother.
If once asking does not sulliee , persis
tence generally meets with success , es
pecially if accompanied by coaxing
Miiile.-i or kisses , though a final resort to
reproaches and tears is .sometimes neces
sary. Now this sort of proceeding is
enervating and dogiading to the mental
and moral llbre otthe person who resorts
to it. The girl is the woman , anil such
a woman should be likened only to a
fungoid growth , drawing its sustenance
from the decay of the stately tree which
it does nothing to beautify oronrich.
When the girl has grown to womanhood ,
if the father bo absolutely unable to sup
port herind cannot possibly make both
ends meet , necessity may drive her into
seeking some temporary employment by
which she can keep clothes on nor back ,
pending the eagerly desired time when
she can Induce some young man to saddle
himself for life with her maintenance.
To such women marriage too often
means nothing else but the certainty of
having some one who shall be obliged to
pay the bills which they incur. The idea
that a true marriage is a loving , faithful
partnership , in whoso welcome yoke hus
band or wife should equally draw the
load of life's duties , obligations , pleas
ures and pains , seems never to dawn upon
them. In the eyes of such women man
is the solo burden-bearer. In point of
fact , such illusions arc very often speed
ily and even brutally dispelled , and thn
poor woman , far from finding marriage
a kingdom in which MIC is to rule , be
comes the meekest anil unhappiest ol
slaves. Then slio may abhor her slavery
and the master whom she serves ; lie may
cruelly n'ju&o both herself and her chil
dren ; but , rendered a coward by the in-
ellicicncy of her early education , she
iluros not take upon herself the task ol
feeding hungry little mouths or clothing
growing bodies , "What can a pooi
woman do ? " she fretfully muniiors , wip
ing tier tearful eve , and takes the slave's
weak revenge of rendering just as little
service as possible.
Or , Iho husband may prove to bo n
good , honcbl , hard-working man , lovimj
his family and toiling for thorn all hi.-
days. While lie lives they have inuoli
comfort : but ho dies , nnd the helpless , lie
. wildorcd tinds herself speedily do
Mti\tuj it woman nt * tj * vj ju ciJlCuCllltlO'
prjvod of her comforts , and oven ot tin
micossitics of lifo , nnd she knows noi
which way to turn , because she has noi
learned to do anything well. She doe :
not know how to make herself and hyi
work valuable to any ono in any diroo
tiou. Like a bird with broken V.'lntrs
the can only weary the nlr whcr , , , ) it ; ,
pus cry , or die a lingering death of uro
longed htarvRiion.
A woman with an active mind , trainoi
to nso ils own powers , is never reducoi
to such .strait-s as the CO cents per do/.er
shirtmaking for anv longtli ot timo. Wi
believe It to bo a demonstrable truth thu
the poor creatures who permanently depend
pond upon such starvation eiuploy'men
uro either mentally or morally deficient
Now wo do not say all these linrsl
thinns because we do not feel for am
sympathize with the ' poor holples
wotuen , but because , as far as one weal
voice can reach , wo want to bring liomi
to parents ( ho knowledge of the ubsoluti
necessity there is of bringing up thui
daughters to work , to know how to earn '
thnlr own Iwing , that they may bo cor-
inin never to join vhc immensearmv of
Feminine Incapable * . The. existence of
this army is not the fault of the glrK
Give them the Same training that ynu do
the bo.vs and lloy can take care of themselves -
selves just nfc well. Make them pelf-re
specting. Tench them that a willingness
to allow others to overwork that they
may do nothing Is as despicable in a
woman as it is in a man. Show them that
what is worth doing at all is worth doing
Well. Hucv.ictingwith them. Allow no
excuses for short-comings.
This world's iunehiner.v- whether for
tunately or unfortunately- not nln by
philanthropists , although in a broad way
lit workinus may bo in the interest/of
philanthropy. Tiiorefore , while the world
lasts It will always be true that the bc-t
work commands I he highest pay.
Whether the work be done by man or
woman , rich or poor , sick or well , has
nothing whatever to do with ' the question
of pay. That this is true 'in ngard to
skilled labor of all kinds needs no de
monstration , and is equally true in re
gard to all departments of human work.
It is the money value of the work when
done that determines the rate to be paid
to the workman or workwoman.
Mother to Hntio.
Urotyr Mrrcilltli.
Fleck of sky you arc" ,
DiiiiiL'il | | thioimli brane'ies ' dark.
O my little one , mine !
I'lomlMMif the Mar ,
Outpour ot the. laik ;
Ueam and song divine.
.Sec this jireclons clft.
Sti-enlUK m uo\v \ birth
All my boiiiL' , for si mi
Hal III to heaven can lilt.
Heaven descend on eailh ,
Doth in ono bu mluet
Ufo lulled you class
When j on IHMSII and coo.
You , mv little ono , mine !
Urookletihhp-tto KHISM ,
Daisy looks indeed
t'li to dear Minshtnc.
The Mothei'-tn-linw.
Daisy Dean in Detroit I'rco Press : It
is a mystery which no ono has yet solved
why so many sad jokes are constantly
being perpetrated about a man's mother *
in-law. \ \ lint dreadful crime lias the
unfortunate woman committed in pro
viding the man with his wife that he
should bear such an undying grudge
against her ?
.Now if it was tlie woman's mother-in-
law who was made the butt of these
jokes there might bo a grain of seu--i > in
them ; for it is the man's motncr who has
it in her power to make life a burden to
thu young wile and not half try.
As a matter of fact , a woman is usually
proud and fond of her son-in-law it he
only gives her the. ghost of a chance.
When the youm/- couple lirst go to
housekeeping who is it that comes in and
with her good sense and practical experi
ence titles them over the rough places ?
' mother-in-law.
A man's - -
It is the woman's mother-in-law who is
moil apt to criticise and who exasperates
the young wife , all too frequently : "My
son is used to having things tlmsand so.1
"Aly son must have iliis or tiiat lor his
mcal.s. " "Aljy sou. with hissmall income ,
should have jnairieda ; prudent , economi
cal woman"i.etc.
When the lirst/ibaby makes its appear
ance , as well as the successive ones , who
is it that stijps in and relieves the hus
band of hi weary vigils and takes the
load of careami worry oil' the wile's
feeble shoulders and keeps the household
machinery running smoothly ; ;
The man's niothor-in-law.
_ When lie and his wife plan to take a
little trip together , who is it comes in
and takes eliargu of the house and chil
dren , so that they can peacefully enjov
their holiday , with the restful thought" ,
"Mother is there , and it will bo all right" ?
The man's mother-in law.
When theru'is nioknoss or trouble in the
house , who H thofaithful , nursu , the wi.so
counselor , thn sympathizing friend ?
The man's mother-in-law.
And it , in the coarse of events , the wife
dies , who is it that usually conies in and
takes care of the children and keeps up
the home till thu bereaved husband has
time to look around and lind another
wife ?
A man's mother-in-law.
And how does he reward her for all
this devotion ?
By making heartless jokes at her ex--
[ ) cnso and publishing them for other men
.o snicker over !
Ingratitude , thy name is Man !
Women in Sirect-Car.s.
Philadelphia liullutin : The man who
sits in a street-car while ladies are standing -
ing up is deservedly an object of reproach
preach unless ho can excuse himself on
the ground of ago or infirmity. As much
as the American men are accustomed to
speak with pride of their superior gentle
ness and courtesy to the sex , it is a mat
ter of doubt whether the surly and scllish
follows who cling to tliuir seats in a car
with a resolute tenacity in the presence
of ladies who are standing up are not in
creasing in number. T'o gentlemen with
the true munly instincts of deference to
women at all times aad in all places a
man who does this is an object of con
tempt.
Hut while wo hold such men in aversion
we are not curlain that women them
selves are altogether iiii < le.sorvingof some
censure. While it is right that they
should oxnocl and receive the largest
measure of courtesy from men , thuy
often sooiii to forget that there are occa
sions when thuy should yield what they
exact. Their Bullishness in thu street-cars
is sometimes as reprehensible as that ol
the men , and there certainly is great
room for improvement in tno code ol
etiquette which they seem to adopt in
their manners toward one another on
such occasions.
For instance , it is rare , very rare , thnl
we behold a woman lender her sent to an
aged or disabled member of her sex. I
is a daily occurrence lo witness some oh
lady hanging on to a strap and rntlol }
1'ostled about , while thu hunts are lilloi
with strong and healthy women , whenever
never think of rising. If they especially
the young ones wore to know how grac
ions and kindly such an act would make
them appear in the eyes of men whosu
good opinion is worth having , thuy wouh
not loll back in their seats witti the colt
and languid Indifference which they
usually display.
The sight df a young woman giving ho
scat to an old man or to any man who i
infirm or in physical distress is equally a
rare. Jt is consequently not to uo wondered
dored that there hro some mon who justify
themselves for 'their ' own gross ncgn
trcnco in this mfttlur of evory-day cour
tesy by deolarim * that nlco women thorn
solves are so fcell/sh / that they are not deserving
serving of the good olllces of the stronge
so\ . Tills does not excuse their ovvr
churlishness , 'but there is , nevorthless. i
good deal of truth in what they say , ' 1 h
young woman who will give up her sea
in a car to tinold or thu feubfo of botl
H < -XCS ought ifl baseon muoli ofK'llor tillU
she now is , ,
TlioVoinen' Who IlrcHS Well ,
From the French : Ago shows nowhere
more plainly than about the throat nnr
neck , and as a shelter to the pruduni
woman some bonnet or shudo-hat strings ,
which to the wise are n veritable refuge
Thu spectacle again of some stout wouiar
tottering on Frond ; heels is one that hap
pily is one that is not very often wit
nessed ; it is occasionally , nevertheless
The foot , perhaps , may have retained i
pristine beauty. With pardonable pridi
she contemplates that , foot and wishes
others to do the samp. Let her sacrifice
that foot , however , to a general welfare
wearing her dresses long , and romombei
that the little tottcrors supporting nn un
wieldy weight transform her into a waltt
ing nbsurdity. How about thin ladies 1
some might ask. Their position is not s
quarter part so ri ky. Addition m tlleir
trump card , bf course. Let thorn add
freely , but tv'th a vast deal more cave
than wlion young. Thu fre'hncss of youth
bmig with it so great a chatm that ilress
'is subordinate.
The IionK-VVnlsted Girl the Fashion.
San l-'ranciseo Keptirt : N'ow is the time
for the long-waisted girls to crow. They
are the particular fashion. The old
dame's Vagaries are many , and this fall
ho has settled on long waists. All the
horl and dumpy dears are struggling
nward and upward , especially upward ,
vhile the lengthy women are striving for
lore length and much limpness. ' 1 hese
piral-wai ted creatures are not models
t female anatomical lovoliness. but syni-
nutry doesn't count when fashion holds
lie numbers.
or Intellectual Women.
Medical and Surgical Koporler : Han
nah Moore died at ( tfJoanna ; llaillie , SO ;
Mary Itussnll Mitford , 7(1 ( ; Agnes Strick-
and , 74 ; Mrs. S. C. Hall. 80 ; Madame do
evigno , 70 , ( ieorcc Sand , 70 ; Mrs. Sid-
Ions , 7(1 ( ; Mary Somerville , W ; C'arollno '
lorschel , ! 8 ; I'anny Mumble is living at
"it , and Harriet Hcuchcr Stowe at the
nun ? ago.
Women Who Arc Talked About.
Hhodo Island's census shows a prcpon-
leronco of 11COO females in that state
iloiie ,
Mrs. Hancock's book of remini.seoiieos
) f her lute husband will be published
luring the coining winter.
The daughter of Jell' Davis is an asPi-
ant for literary fame. Shu has c mtvib-
i ted an article to the North American
Jeview.
Madame Modjeska expresses herdisap-
irobalion of the "star" and combination
system in decided terms. She say.s it is
'wretched , abominable , soul-destroying
mil the death of art.1
A girl employed In the coal mines m
Jelgium works from 5 o'clock in the
noruing till between ! ) and 11 at night.
She loans from si.xty to seventy cars a
lay and earns about -10 cents. Tins poor
soul is only one of many.
A woman out wo t has picked and sold
ilackberries enough this season to buy
tor husband a liddlo and a shotgun.
I'luTu is no record that ho has shot and
sold game enough to buy her a silk dross.
Signora Salaxaro , an Italian author ,
ias written a book on the woman quo.-
ion , advocating the broadening ot the
ield of woman's work. She is also try-
ng to establish u school of arts for girls
n Koine.
According to the Washington Star Miss
Nellie Nevada Moore , of Pennsylvania , is
cluut' architect and builder of a charming
loitsu near Pittsburg , in which she lives.
She wears trousers when doing men's
vork , but when that is over she dons
icltieonts again.
The late Baroness do Rothschild was
10 ordinary woman. Shu numbered
imong her friends Talleyrand , Hal/ac ,
lumholdt , Kiigono Sue , 1 hiors and Ho > -
sim. The'-e were friends not to be bought
ly money , ami indicate the woman's in
tellect and strength of character.
Mrs. Oiiphant is writing a series of
articles , to appear in the Century during
ho coming year , descriptive ot some of
the celebrated men and women of Queen
Anne's time , including the Queen ,
Juehuss Sarah , Dean Swift and Daniel
) o Foe. Mrs. Van Kcnssolacr will con
tribute to the maga/.mc a series of papers
) i ; some of the typical F.nglish cathedrals ,
with illustrations by Pcnnull.
THE ROMANOFS.
A Family In "Which .Something Very
Ijllco Insanity la Heredilary.
The report ( afterwards denied ) of the
killintr ot an imperial aid by the czar
while under the hallucination lhat Ihc
former was about to attempt the ruler's
life has recalled the o\i.sloneo of tempo
rary neurosis in the Komanof family ami
Ihe fuel that the c/.ar forbade the ropub-
liealion in Russia of Dr. Ireland's "Blot
on the Brain , " ono chapter of which
gives in detail the progress of the inlirm-
ity in this family for thn last ! ! 00 years.
'Tho chapter in question begins with
the atlroeilies of Ivan. Iho Terrible , that
monster in human form , some iiicn of
whose career of crimes may bo had from
the fact that he massacred 27,000 people atone
ono time in a single town. Ho and his
son often had 500 persons tortured and
killed in a day lor their pleasure. The
relined cruelties ot Nero and Caligula
were pun } ' when contlasted with the scale
upon which Ivan conducted his attroei-
ties. Ho wab .succeeded by Fedor , his
pon. a weak-minded yonngrnun , who was
.subject to epileptic lits. Then came n
break in a family line till Michael Feod-
orovilch , the lirst tsar of the Uomanof
family , succeeded to the throne at the ago
of sixteen. Ho , too , was mentally
weak and was supplanted by hi.s
son , Alexis. Alexis had by his first
wife Feeder , Ivan , Sophia and several
oilier daughters , mid by his second wife
Peter and Nathalie. Feeder remained
on the throne several years , but was
weak minded and sickly. His brother
Ivan was a hopeless imbecile. Upon
Feodor's death his sister Sophia tried to
make Ivan the T/.ar , that she might
reign , but she had to give way
to the force of character and in
domitable will of her younger brother
Pelor , afterwards "tho Great.11 In Peter
the neurosis showed a tendency to con
vulsions , and made his character a
strange mixluro of solf-.sncrilico aud ty-
rany , cruelty and humanity. Peter had
only ono legitimate son , Alexis , whom ho
put to dcalh. Ho was succeeded by
Ids wife Catherine , who was fol
lowed by Peter , the son of Alexis.
With 1'etor II. , who died young ,
thti male line of the Komanof family became -
came extinct. Ho was succeeded by Anna ,
a reputed danghterof Ivan. Shoadopteil
a grandson of Ivan as heir to the throne.
This un for tuna to prmco , sometimes
called Ivan VI. , was supplanted by Kli/.n-
bolli , a daughter of Iho great Peter. She
chose for her successor Peter 11 , a grand
son of her father by Anna of Holstein ,
Potter III was weak-minded and disso
lute , and ho was dethroned , nut to death
by his wife Catherine , tlio Ciorman
princess. Tlio michastity of Catherine
rendered it doubtful who was the father
ol her only .son Paul , but as Soltikof was
given the benefit of the doubt , and
she wan an alien , it is pos
sible that the present house is
entirely foreign. Paul camn to the
throne at the ngo of llnrty-llve , and
proved a potty tyrant of the worst kind.
Ho bccamo so obnoxious that ho was
strangled , ! ) } ' his sou Alexander'consent ,
and the latter iisconi'wd ' the throne , Al
exander inaerited his father's looks and
disposition , and truces of Iho hereditary
inhrmity were plainly visible. Ho ill" ; ' n
natural death , however , i ' vl'H second
son , Constantine ; ; „ , wns „ „ jmbuoilo.
wns judged moapablo of reigning , RVK !
I'li urother Nicholas bectimo emperor in
1825. The insanity which seemed Intent
in Alexander II. la thought to Jinvo
broken forth in tlie i ro.scnt C/.nr. Ho
has been subject to epileptic lits nud hal
lucinations , and oflato year.s his troubles
have been complicated by heart disease ,
sleeplessness and rheumatism.
No Need to I'limim Hi * Itctiouroho , .
Merchant Traveler : ' .Johnny , " < < aid
Mro Joncri , "What are you taking that
bucket of water down to the chicken *
coop lor ? "
" ( Jfling to pbur if on our old linn. "
"Why , what for * "
"Causa. Iwanted to find out how mnd
you'd bu if you know that pn. kissed tin
hired girl. Pu said
But Johnny didn't uped to pursue his
researches any further. Ho tound out
right then.
Tim lotcst dd < litlai in SmitJi OHnilnt , only iwn Muck , * aonlh of
rrntei' of South Ouitilui < nnl lire Mtu-lf c < ifl of f/irf/rra/
Large and Choice Lots , "Wide Streets and ALleys -
leys , Fine View , Easy Terms.
M * ! ' further inn'tli'iittnv call on
MORRIS MORRISON ,
* ? ? South t < 'Uh. ? < / Door Xorih of lloininl / .
Tiie OMAHA STOVE REPAIR WORKS
Dl'.AIiKUS IXCI.fSlVKl.V IN
JSTO'VE PLEFIFIS. .
Our slock includes repairs for all stincs ever sold in Oiimlm ami the west.
Remember. It Njonrslovi1 we keep repair for.
C. M. KATON , Jlmmjrer ,
GUI South St. . Del. .tones nnd Jackson.
HOW TO ACQUIRE WEALTH.
JVO 1'lllXKS OA'M' . ' Krci'H Vcnrnn-rti Jllllton J > Mrlbut-
c < l. A DrttH'iHH Hrcrit MoHth >
With a first pai meat of only $3 , you can acquire six ICoropcnn Government none ) * ,
which not only guaumtcca safe investment of capital , as at the worst the invested
money must pc paid babut ' also oilers the opportunity to mnkc a fortune by win-
ninjj a MI ; prize.
ONLY 52 UUQLTIRKD tobuy a Roynl Italian , lee franc * gold bond. These
bonds participate in Uii drawing. . , four drawings cvcrv yenr , and retain their oiig-
Inal value until thu year til ! ) I Prizes of ' . ' ,000,000 : 1,000,1100 ; 5011,000 , ctc.fi.inc * will
be drawn. Decides the certainty of icceivint ; back the 100 francs in cold , vou can
win four times , n 3 ear , and so come into possession of a fortune. We oiler llicsc
b nds for $8J , in monthly installments of $ ' - , or for cas.li at $ ' . ' 5 , as long as our sup-
plj-lasts. Monevcan be > cnt by rcgUtoied letters , money ou'ers , or by expicsnnnd
in return ue will forward the bond. The next drawing will take place on Novem
ber lilHh. For furlhei iufotmation apply to , lliiit.iN HANKING Co. , 305 llroadway ,
New York. N. n. These bonds arc not lottery ticket * , and arc by law permitted
lobe hold.
SHERMAN ROAD CART.
1" BEST CART ON EARTH. "
i I
SINGLE , DOUBLE and LIGHT ,
I'JSlln. 1 . .111 In. B.tlln.
s > . " y-iT. * s o.
EASY , DURABLE and CHEAP.
Crated free on board cars.
, Aiiinu : s
7 ( SHAg , T , ALLEN , Manger1 ,
COLDWATER , Mich.
Mimtlon Onmlia Doe ,
r' '
MET IN TIIE MOONLIGHT ,
A Wild Western Duel of Many Years Ago
A Lattle With KuiVes.
Imv "Avalaiiolic" Jem Smith and
"Cinnamon Itlvcr" Orton Set-
llcd mi Old Uriidurat tlio
flase of rilcc'H I'cak.
Chicago Herald : " 1'vo seen a heap o'
lights in my day , " said an old frontiers
man in Canuck Jim's place on Madison
street the other night , "but the worst of
the whole lot was the ono between 'Ava
lanche1 Jem Smith and 'Cinnamon Hivor *
Orton , which occurred at llie base of
Pike's Peak during the gold fever days
y'ars ago. 1 remember it as well as
though it was fit last night. You see tlio
men were nat'ral born enemies. They
had lit every time they had mcteaeh other
for y'ars ami y'ars , and each ono had
been a-swearin' round the country that
ho would grease his boots with the other's
heart. They did not meet , however , until
one night in September. Each was
pilotin'a train across the plains. Both
came together at the foot of the old peak
just as it was a-gcttin * dark. Orion was
n big , strapnin' follow , with long
hair. Ho had but ono eye , 'Avalanche *
having gouged the other out in a liirht
they had y'ars before in the Arnpahoo
country. Smith was a little , wi ry devil
with eyes no bigger1 n lia/olnuts. Orton
had knocked the lellow's nose out of joint
and somebody else had cut his left click
from the eye lo the chin. Smith was an
ornery lookin' cuss , but holy knockneed
Injun , how ho could light.
"Woll , as I was n-sa.yin1 , the mon mot
at the base of Pike's Peak. Il didn't take
'em long lo lind each other. They were
ready to light it out then and there ; but
the restof us objected to havin'any blood
spiliin' round the train , for there wcro a
heap o' women in the schooners who
weren't a-hunkorin' to sco a light. It
was limiliy agreed that the mon si ion Id
meet at midmtrht in a sort of rnveno
about half a mile from camp and litrht
the old grudge out. once for all. About
tweniy of us wont along tosoo that there
was fair play. Orion wauled to light
with pistols ; but Smith , who was mighty
handy with a bowie , insisted that the
thing must bo done witli knives. Jt was
linuily iiirreoil that each should lire three
rounds with his Colt's ' , and then , if both
were still alive , knives were to bo
used until ono or both wcro
dead. When everything was ready Orton
and Smith took oil' their blouses , and.
stoppin' out into n little strip of ground
where the moon shone brightest , paced
oiltwenty feet and then stood with their
bucks to each other. A moment later
'Kattlosnako' Ike gave Iho word lo lire.
The tsvo mon wheeled around as ( illicit as
lightuin' and discharged their guns with
one crack. Orton caught a bull in his
chin while Smith foil upon his knees ,
with a hunk o'lead in the shins. Ike
again gave the word to shoot , and again
tliu mms spouted lire simultaneously.
Ortou now came down on his marrow
bones with a hall in his right knoo.
Smith was shot m the loft bhouldor and
fell over upon his back. We all thought
ho was done' for , but ho got up on hi.s
knees ngain and cooked his weapon for
the last round. Both mon wore covered
with blood , and it was all they could dote
to keep in u per'endic'lar ' ' position on
their knees.
"Ono , two , three liro1 ! yelled Iko.
The two mnn bla/.cd away at oaoh other1 *
head. Both wore shot through tiiu ixju'k ,
yet neither fell.
" 'Draw your knives und close in,1
shouted Jlio. Jumping round like ti Sioux
ludif.7 , with the Htomaoh-acho. The two
mon dragged themnotvc.s within arm's
roach of each other , and tlion begun 0110
ot the most horrUiJo buttles 1 over saw.
Ift'ton was tint lirot to draw his knife
from his bolt. Ho raised it high above
his head and drove it into his adversary's
b.icl : between thoshouldor-blmicK. Smith
staggeied for a minute , but recovered in
time to parry n blow aimed at his breaH
Then the two men loll upon onch other ,
and rolled ever and over , oaeh
trying lo grab the other by tli *
throat. TliDtr hands were red < o
the wrists , while blood ran oil' the-
nhides of tlieir knives and spurted from
thci woumU in their necks. Everybody
was Hick of the sight'ci > pt Iko. Ho kept
jjimpin' and yollin1 round the lighter *
Jiko a madman , nmuilappm' Ids hands at
ov .ry thnifct. For lifiec.ii minutes Ortou
and Smith foiiuhl like doiuoiiH in the
moonlight. U'lut.y Flushed f-nch other
right and left until thin1 tainted from loss
dt blood. Jt was nearly 1 o'clock wlion
\ro walked in bett'cun them m | nirr4c.il
thorn ( IKO c.aini ) . Orton died on iho way ,
and Smith , who never recovered con-
f-cioiisnej-s , passed in his checks before
sun-up. We .stuck two plno boards * at
the heads of their uraves at tlio foot of
the hill. The ono over Orion's mount. '
read .something like this :
OIU'OX.
o
hleked by
, ! IM :
SMITH
OLD
"Wlion it came to writing nn inscrip
tion for Smith's board , Iko called a
council of the teamsters' to decide upon
tlio writing. It was linally agreed to use
tlie.se words :
, IKM
SMITH
o
( iood as
Licked
by
mi.r ,
Oirrox.
SAMI : Tm.vo.
"What caused the feud between those
two mon ? Oh , that would bo hard to
.say. They quarreled the first time they
mot , and kept it up until they came to
gether that fatal'ni ht. Holh were
good men in their way , but it appeared
as tlionjrh they had been born to exter
minate one another. "
Cost In IT . 500,000 to Humor a dill/l
Hero is a coed story that Lndynnisscy ,
trot in C'onstaiilinonle : "We went down
ns far as the French bridge , over which
the contractor lost an immense lot of
money in Iho following manner : The
bridge was to have been finished by a
particular day. but the contractor found
that this would be impossible with Turk
ish workmen unless he worked day and
night. This ho obtained leave to do , and'
the necessary lights and torches wore
supplied at the Su'tan's ' expense. All
wont well for a time , till the unfortunate
contractor was told llmt he must open the
bridge to lol a ship from the dock-yard
pass through some lime before the bridge
was finished. He said it was impossible ,
as ho would have to pull everything
down , and it would lake two or three
months lo replace the scallolding and
pilc-drivinc machines. Ho went to the
Ministers of Marino and Finance. They
said : 'If the Snllnn says it must bo done
it must , or wo shall lose our places , if
not our heads. ' So the ship came out tt
a cost of a little over i'100,000 and a delay
ot three months in tlie completion of the
bridge , all because the Sultan louud hi.s
small son crying in the harem ono day ,
the child's grief being that , though ho
had boon promised to bo made an ad
miral , he could not .see hi.s flag hoisted pn
IUH particular ship from the nursery win
dows. So a largo Iron-clad was brought
out from the dock-yard and moored iu
front of Dolmabnrrtcheh to gratify his
Infant mind , thus causing enormous in
convenience to the whole town for
months , lo say nothing of the waste of
money , of widen tlio Sultan paid very
litllo.and for tlio loss of whichI imagine ,
ho cared still less. "
l''ATorlt DrlnkH ol'Orn.'it "Men ,
Tom Heed drinks water when ho is at
homo.
Senator Fryo , of Maine , drinks mineral
waters ,
Secretary Bayard loves n big drink of
pure rye , sllulitly mellowed with wnlor.
Secretary Manning is a lempoiatoman ,
but ho can enjoy a .small botllo occasion
ally. .
Jon ISInckbnrii , of Kentucky , drinks
whisky , aud llkc.s lo linbibo it out of utiii
oup. .
Nearly nil the New York City slalom-
men drink be.er at homo and wine in
Washington ,
Senator Kchmmds still slicks to the ion-
live cocktail nnd do'/a not liky to ilrijiJf.
alone.
A jrh'is of vlmtiinur/nn nipped slowly
vou-jc.s Snnsol C'o.i to obulitiuiH of wit an
nothing else can.
Senator Ingnllh' favorite drink is a mys
tery , but f-olno of bin brother Honalor.sriny
it Is vinegar.
Secretary Lumnr drinks anything thnt
uonuis along , and ! oes it as a soul horn
gentlumnn .should.
Senator Salisbury , of Delaware , Is par- H
tl.il to a wlilpky sour now and then , U
give ! , him inspiration.
Attorney ( iunernl Oarland can drink
anything and in any stylo. Arjutt fortis
would not n > 'i\e hit nerves. ,
' M'ti.i'.or Hoc I ; , of Kentucky , thinks rfiut
any man who . poiU good whisy ) ; with
water h a hi-alliou.
I'res'deril ( Hnvulnnd is not averse to
good whidky , but be ijrnfow plain , ovry-
dny boor as u bovera'Jto.
Tin : farmer's fnou'l ' luis f < r many
years been Dr. ,1. II MnUcitii'H Volc-Uiu
Oil Liniment , for horhus , cattU , . nuyti
andhlK-ep.lt IIHS nioved its w'lt'th in
a o ( ViUU3.