THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY AUGUST 20. 18SG.r-T\VT2LVE 11
THE WORK OF THE WITS ,
A Variety of Pleasantries in Prose and
Rhyme.
SALVATION'S FIRE ESCAPE.
The Smart Alovnmlon and the Knsc
Hall 1'ad Homo Tests ol Krlcnd *
slilp and AVHi-ly Coiiifnitcis
-Pointed Paragraphs.
The I'lie Kscapt- .
There's nmasslvo hotel tlint looms i < i > fioni
ilio Hlioet ;
Should } < ) iientei Its pottils this leeundoti'll
IllCCt-
Us meaning Is simple and patent to all
"Thetc-'sa Ihu escape placed ill thu unit of
tliu hall. "
'I Ills led inn to think how many Hint1 me
That pass thiough the world wilh a iccoid
qullifnli
look tot , hut miss , when nn t'lid
cinnt's to till ,
Some Iliu eio.i i > c ut the end of tlm hnll.
Tliuiu's the woman ol fashion , all diamonds
nnil luc ( > ,
Whohas putchascd A claim on salvation nnd
giace ,
Hut whoso imnie's noser mentioned at Char
ity's bill ;
Will she llnd the escape at tlicendottho liall ?
And tlm mlsprwhosp life Is devoted to gold ,
Though thousands may sutler In hunger and
cold ;
\VIII his gold bosulllelcnt , when Death sends
his tall ,
To buy an escape at the end ol the hall' . '
And the man who has hundreds nt woik In
his mill ,
Who mo slues to lilsgu'oil and bound down
by Ids will ;
On that icckonlngdny , If theie's justice for
all ,
iie'tl u hie escape need at the end of the hall
Then thi'io's good Deacon Jones , who stands
well In thi ) church ,
That his creditors lelt > ears ago In the luidi.
Hut who > c ill-gotten gain Is now eo\ci lornll :
Will ho llnd an escape at the end of thu hall' . '
And that saint , Biother liiown , whosnves
( .iod at his ease ,
Who gives largely to missions fai over thu
Heas ,
Hut has never a dollar for Povert's call ;
He'll a lire-escape need at thu end ot the li.ill.
Theie's the Judge who In ctmino.slts high on
thu thione ,
With n sentence bovcio for what Povcity's
done ,
Uut foi glided transgiessors Has nothing at
all :
Will hu llnd an escape at the end of the hall' . '
Tlio brc.ulless , the homeless , who suffering
wear ,
Wo hcai ken not to them , nor heeded thelt
piavor ;
Shall we wish , when too late , for thu moun
tains total ) ,
And that liie-cscapo miss at the end ot the
lull
Take heed then and listen ; th } biothci'sn
nun ,
Then rumlei such help as with justice j on
can ,
In kindness of sphlttl-at he who lull-sail
Ma ) a lire escape pl.icn at the end of the hall
Tlio Smait Alexander.
Pittsbui Commercial ( Ja/otto. One of
these smait Alexanders who tun els on
his chcuk and the inability of the iniblic
to change 20 bills for ; i jjlass of soda 01
four tobios jot on a Penn a\enito c.ir the
other day and tendered the aforesaid fiJO
for his faie. Of course the conductor
could not change it and so ho not his ride
fice. Thib was repented uiitil the con
ductor got tired of it , and after the
fomtli or fifth thno of its lopotition lie
determined to { jot even with tlic fellow.
Uyisitiiiff the toll houses , and other
means unknown , the manipulator of
the bell punch managed to bci.ipu up
$ lU.r ! ) > in pennies.
Placing these in a , little buekut ho
( inietly waited the appearance of his vic
tim , ( Living posted tno dihor and &omo
other Intim.itu friends who happened to
bo on boanl. When the unsuspecting
man with the plethoric pocketbook put
in an appearance and promptly pio-
dneed the "twenty" withmain apologies ,
the conductor pocketed the bill anil pro
duced the little bucket , and amid the
guns of the spectatois piesented it to
his customer. Tlio Doling man looked
pi etty ehcni ) , and after feeling the heft
of the bucket thouglitfiilly got oft the car
and disappeared aionnd a corner. Thou
the eniuluelor took tlio bill fiom his
pockol and ptoecedod to fold it up
nicely so that it would fit into a con
venient cornet of hispookutbook. Some
thing in the appearance of the bill caught
his eye , and , as ho o\uifmcd : it a little
closer , his jaw dropped about a foot
The bill was of the genus denominated
by the spoiling fraternity as "mieer. "
' \ ho Doling man had also been laying for
the conductor.
Boston Novvs. Lieutenant ( Icorgo
Montou 1 ad a day oil and wont to Nan-
taskot. On the boat , with several ft lends ,
tUcrc was a talk about peisonul lebom-
blancos.
"Wohll I have boon dakon for Bismarck -
marck , in llorlin , " bald a Gcimau gun-
tleman.
"Anssl , of a time in Paris , I was , as the
Count do Paris saluted , so like him 1
resembled,1 * said a teacher of French.
"That's nothing , " said Goaigo ; "a
follow came up and slapped mo on the
back , right on Tromoiitstiuot thu othur
day , and ciiod. out 'Great CVsarl hthat
jouV"
Tlio Aiirlonlai *
The Judge : The Troy Telegram finds
that the telephone hati a tondonoy to
nuiko | teoplo deaf in one ear. Wo recall
a case In point.
"Ill tltcio , William M. Kviuls ! What
about the silver question ? "
"Hoy ? "
"What do you think of the silv er situa
tion ? "
"lloyj"
"Tond that dinwir to night. William ? "
"You bet. "
Wherefore ho must have tinned the
other oar.
The Tulgram Is undoubtedly right. An i-
other case in point.
"Hello , ( inner Olovclaml ! What doyen
yon think of Garland ? "
"Sir , the last man who applied foi a
pension"
"Nono o' that now. A\ hat about
Augustus Garland ? "
"H'tn ! Hey ? "
Pause.
"Tho boys are going a-Hshing. Come
and join 'em. "
"All right. Von fmnisli thn bait. "
llo must ha\o tiunud thu othur ear too.
Kuro Test of Ki Icndshlp.
Detroit 1'rpo Piess 'Ton "
: say , con-
tinned the lawyer in the oio.s-nxnmina-
tlon of a witness , "that J onus U yoiu
fiiundr"
"Yes , sir. "
"What reason h.ivo yon to believe that
he Uyour ; friend ? "
" \ \ o have associated together for ton
yea is "
"Welll"
"Wo never had a word of dispute. "
"Wolll"
"I have always found him fair and
"That may bo , but did yon cvor nsk
him to back a note at the bank for you ? "
"Xi > , ir. "
"Thuu you dou't KUOW him dou't be
gin to know anything about him , sir , and ]
you shouldn't assert that 3 on did "
Three SIARCS of flase llnll.
TUT. I'VST.
1 recollect , bcfoio base ball bec.imc a pisllmo
t * lonnl
And c to the betting on It was so iccklcssnnd
Irrational ;
Hcfon * the dftn of leagues and cro the pitcher
nerob.itleal
Compelled tlie spinning sphere to make Its
present curves enatlcal ,
' 1 he man behind the hat who now , pro-
tcted , fumes and lldeott
\\nswont \ to cad h the sw It test bills with un
protected digits ,
\orwouldhe altoi in tlie least his mien
serene and jocular
When ni.idl } lushing foul-tins smashed his
nose or closed his oculnt.
Till' PllfSVNT.
The catcher or the present faces volles hot
nnd cm vIng ,
And soniooly can he blamed because lie linds
woiking iiiinoi vluir.
Although I'm no ] > oltioon , 1 do beseech ) ou
don't think that o' me ;
1 don't like things conducive to an Incom
plete nnalomv.
The gentleman who now dlspoils behind the
bat of willow-
Is gunidid by an minor like a cashion or a
pillow.
Although Ids mask gives him a look which
ccrtalnlv Is comical ,
No foul-tli ) bids him make investigations
nstronunilc.il.
rut : riTrm : .
Ann now. inethlnks , wo shall behold the
catcher ot lutiiiltv
Cavorting lound behind the bit in absolute
seem It ) .
Ills hdmct and his brassuts nnd his other
things arum ) Int
Will most assiucdl ) piovcntall Injuiles coi-
poroal.
With lion gauntlets on his luuiih , a bird
cage on his vlsngo ,
Oh , liippv will the eatcliei bo who plays base
ball In his age ,
1'or hu cannot bo dimaged by the splnnint ;
missile splioric.it
Unless by some occuirenee scarce less won-
dious than u miracle.
She " \Viis Ubprt To It.
Detioit Fteo Press "Lucy , " she said
to thu new girl when the question ot
wages had been settled , "theio are tiiiiu"
when IIH husband conies lionto in a a
condition. " "Yus'm. " "In a bufuddlud
condition " "I'us'm. " "Caused bv
overtaxing his biain in tlie olbcu. " "I
undo ! stand , ma'am , and if he comes into
the kitohun and puts his arm aiound mo
I'm " "Hetain "
to jour dignity.
"That's it , ma'am. That's just what lias
happened in mv last two places , and I'll
warrant you 1 can behave in such a
manner th it he'll take me for the ladj
of thu hoiisu ; don't jou let the befuddled
condition worry you as long as 1 lumain ,
ma'am. "
Know " \Vhat He Was TiUkliiir About
Arkansaw Ti.uoler- Ant Aikansavv
jii tiee of the peace who had just nriiried
a couple tinned to a man and snid " 1
don't bulievc that the woman will love ,
soi\u and obuy him. " " 1 don't know , "
some ono replied , "she scums to be a
vury amiable woman. " "I don't think
bhcis"ieplied the justice.VIiy so ? "
"Because shu used to bu m > wifu. "
Hu Pinched the \Vronfi Ijlnil ) .
IJoslon Globe : A few evening , ago at a
dinner party in Middletown a clergman
was seated butwccn two ladies. Ono of
the ladius noticed tint the reverend got ;
tlcmanwas somewhat abstiacted in his
mannci , and in a sotto voicu asked him if
he was not fooling well. The cluiginan )
replied that he was somewhat alaimi-d
about his health , and was talraiil of a
slioko of paialjsis. Hi * said. "I've been
pinching in } lug ever since 1 b.it ( low n to
the table , and there is not a p.iiliclu ot
feeling in it " Thu l.tdj told him not to
bo alaimuil at all , as it was liurleg he lind
boon pinching. The dominie immecti
atul.y tccoveicd his hoilth.
A Wife's
Washington Hatchet : At a dinner
pait.y last winter thu cool weather had
done eoiisidoiablu duty in supplying con
versation , when a plump , happvlookin"
married lady made a remark about cold
feet. "Surely , " said a lady opposite ,
"jou aru not troubled with cold feet ? "
'
A'niid an awful pause , the lady naively
answered : "tfes , indeed. I am veij
much tioublod but , then , they aic not
mj own , " Her husband blushed scailct.
Iiisciichanunoiit.
lioiton IteiAii * ! ,
lie took her dow a to the b'jach w ith him
Una suit ) } suiumoi day ,
And hu much ndmhcd hui loanded foim
In Its fashionable air.i ) .
llo risked her to go In bathing ,
She Loiuplled with his iciiucst ;
Hut when she came out ot thu bath house
In hui bathing ( .outturn * diesaed ,
Jin ira/cd on her lonn , lankligure.
Kxd.ilming : What's this 1 suu' . '
This binely is not thu maiden
Thatcamudown in tlie boat with me !
Tlio High ! Position for .1 Kiss.
Hoslon ( ilobo Mis Uolthmk "There
now , John , just read that and m\yhu yet
will throw away that hoiud cig.u "
air. Do IMat.k"Head what ? "
"Why , thii in the paper. A member o
thu recent Women'b eongiebs says 'It i
u nice thing for a man to keep his nioiitl
lit to bu kissed. ' "
"Humph ! That may all bo , but it is
also a nice thing foi a woman to kooj
her mouth in the light position to b
kissed. "
"Tho light position ? "
"Yess7mt "
File lind A Good Job Already.
Monongahola City Kupitblicnn ; Th
boys toll a good story on Uhiplain Ale
Grow , whieli is woitli repeating. In his
lonnds last Sunday nfturnoon with a few
tracts and many good wonts ho was dis-
punsing counsul and mlv ico. ly ! chancu
lie camu upon a Hungarian , who was em
ployed in digging truncliiis for the gas
pip > cs around the camp. Thu chaplain
naked :
"Aie you a Christian , my fuond ? "
"Na , na , mo Ilunga "
"Don't you wibli to jointhc army of ! ho
Lord' " '
Na , na ; mu got a good job now ,
thanka. "
A Kcinnrkahlo Yontli ,
"llaro you any ollspiingV" lniilrud | 1
thu hovuo , long-Inn ed passuii"ur ,
thiough his noao of a h/i.tngor / by Ida
siilll.
siilll."Oh , yes , Mr , " was the pohto inply , "a
fiOll. "
"Ah , indeed Does ho ute lobaocof"
"Ntivor touches it in any foim "
"I'm glad to hoar that. Tobacco is
monbliously sinful. Does ho indulge in
spirituous liquois ? "
"Nov or tasted a drop in his llfo , "
"Kscollont. ' '
Stay out nights ?
"No , sir. Never thinks of going out
lifter biippor. "
"I'm vury much pleased to know this ,
sir. 1'our bon is a lumari.nblo yuung
man. "
"Oh , ho's not a youiiR man. He's a
two months' old baby. "
How She ( Jot Oil' an Old rjiiOMtnnt.
Nashville Journal : "My dear , " said a
JOCOM ) farmer to his wlfo , "vvhjis your
doooiscd graudmothor like my Ihrcsldng
uuiultlnur"
"I don't know , why ? "
"noiiinsufiho isnomorciand mj tluvsh-
Ing nritihlnc Is no mower. "
' That ia a good ono , " said the lady ,
"nnd I must go and see if .Mrs. Pilaust
oin tell. "
Whou bho saw MM. Pikrust the lady
bald :
"John has told mo such a good conun i
drum. It is thisVhy : is my grand
mother like a threshing machine ? "
ill 6 , Pikrnst did not know.
"liucatuu my guiudmothcr is dcr.d and
you can't jnowwifh a threshing ma
chine , " was the triumphant reply.
Rlotninorpriosed.
Thf Ilamliln.
She used to w at bio comie songs.
In high nnd shrill soprano ,
And wrought full mnny gievlous wionss
Upon her old piano ,
Whatever tune she heard , forthwith
She seized nnd then nri.itmtd It.
Hot name of ) oie was hucv bmlth ,
And now 1 bee she's changed It.
Uut then she went across to I'omo
To stud\ with I'b/Iiil ;
And now I learn Mie's coming homo
As Luclt bmltlilni.
hheVnnted It Then.
Iloslon Uoeord A little girl out at
laiden , who held with genuine ortlto-
.o\v . to the Infantile theory of what
ua > or is for , piayed thus the other
light , "O Lord , 1 want a white rabbit "
iluvv ailed for a w Idle lor developments
nd then lopuatod her piajor a little
neigctieall ) , "O Lend , 1 want awhile
abbit " Another natisc for develoiinents )
vitn unsatisfactory results , and then a
igorous outburst , " 0 Loid , 1 want a
vlnte rabbit and 1 want it now. "
Daniel Sated Him.
Washington Critic "Daniel" '
"Y'i's. madam "
"In cleaning out rooms , etcropura ] -
oi y to llndinp places to hide away
Mimed goods for the winter , 1 lind in
jnoofthu wardrobes this gu-.it heayy
tair of itibber boots , with such long
ops Whoso aio thoj v"
" ' madam "
"The piesident's ,
"Down in the leg of one ot thorn I lind
his black bottle with a high cork. What
s that foer"
"Hail. "
"And m the olhor leg is nn old rmck of
'aids ' wrapped in an ollulolh. Whosu
ate thoj v"
'Oh ' ! 1 see. They arc a pair left every
> y Piosidont Ai thm "
"Tiianks , Daniul ! " from the tuloin |
ng room.
Said ,
St Paul Globe Ho got out of a bov car
[ Booking in every diicv'tion as if n\jiuel-
ig an assassin to jump out fiom his -o-
eiet hiding place and assail him , he spied
a policeman Beckoning the latter to
come down in the vicinity of the height
tain , he said
"Is the coast clear , and will it bo sale
foi mu to rim to hotel ? "
Tlio policeman looked all about and
then answuied the ruiestion in the alllim-
alive , whcieupon the stiangur disap
pcaii'd fiom sight as fast as his legs would
carry linn.
That fellow isn't a tinmp , is ho" "
asked a man of the policeman , icfeiiiiig
to tlio iatooectinant of the cai.
"No , " said the policeman
' What was the matter with him ? "
"He'd "
an nmplru.
No Host lor Jlim.
ll'iitun ' foil i dr.
When the summer lain Is poming
Down upon the cll\ bucks
Ami the mercuij Is siMring
Daily up to nlnetj-six.
When the edltot Is w i itlng ,
Writing with his sleeves unrolled ,
And tliu pi'sk.v llles aie bitinir
llaid wheie'ei the ) latch aiiold.
When tlio fan and gentle maiden
datheis tloweis at eailj d.iwn ,
Wheiu the bioe/e witlibilm is 1 iden ,
In a dress ot aiiovvj lawn
Then to mountains or to beaches ,
I'l ) the bloated nilllkmaiu's ;
Wlii.ru no tonid he it e'ei tuulies ,
\Vhuii \ * thu > tluovv awav theli caic" .
Hut theedltoi , D OI lellovv ,
Kaeklni ; neeess.uvvcaltli ,
Thinmh lilsejcs and rluvltsaic jcllow
With a H\i.r out of health ,
Cannot seek a seem1 that Inluhtcns
Life can't join the meiiv
So his Ilvei p.id he tightens
And keeps toiling tight .ilo
Tid Hits"I saw a roft'icnce to i
'dn igible balloon' in thu napur. Tangle , "
lemarkcd Snagjrv , ' 'what aic thuy1' "
" 'Diiigiblu' means managuable ; so , of
com u , 'dirigiblo balloons' aio balloons
that can be manatred. " "Oh ! I sue.
Say , I'anglu ! " "Woll. " "Do you think
ther willevor l > e such things as diiigible
wives ? "
IJvon Water BninctinioH Has Its Uses.
IMttsburg Dispatch : Kontuukv Col
onel "Waitci dunk "
, omuthillg to !
Waller "Yi-s , sab ; watah , bahv"
KentiieKy Colonel "Young man , I said
something'to dunk 1 don't want to take
a bath. "
A Candidate lur the museum.
Texas Sittings"You say you weiein
Hi * Union ainu dining thu war ? "
"Yes , sii , 1 was at ( iuttisbiug. "
"At GcttjsburgVoll \ , 1 suppose \ou
have written a maga/inu aiticlo about
the mistakes of the battle" "
"No , hir. I have not "
" \Vhy \ , m > duar sir. you needn't beg.
Yon are tho" only soldier li\ins ; who has
not wiilten an article on the subject
Why , man alive , , \ou aiu a fieak , > ou
can got $ .10) a week in a miisuum "
OUKIOSlTIiS.
Thitn vvoodbucks ( have been f-een this
f-ummei In lU-diling township , link
An eagloni'ni Cliambeuhuig , J'a. , recentlv
likil to cany oil a bo > .but the voungstcr
wi.s too huavv. Tlm lad't. tacu anil clothing
sunViedsiiveielv In the battle.
A resident of Tiebun. | 0. , owns a masto
don tooth which is foiiitccn inches long , ten
Inches broad , and tvvcnty-seveii Inches In
eliciimfeicncii and weighs thhtccn pounds.
A cm Ions specimen In the shapu of .1 double
npple Is exhibited at lliintlngton , Ind. It
has two distinct ends and two blossom ends ,
though it has glow n hrmly to uthei as ono
npnle.
Onoof ( icneial bheihlnn's old scouts has
shown n luiKerlinr iilfcrlinn for hlsloimci
romimuider by shlpnliii ; the wildest kind ot
Itoc'ky mountain wildcat to CenuMl li.ii.kiis
at bin Francisco with aieiiui'bt todellvci thu
pn tty token.
A hen hulongliiL' tn .Innathnn Scott of
Pai ma , Mich , made hci nest at thu branches
ot a willow tiee , liltcun led ( torn the gioiind.
Shu was allowed to keep liftci n e'gs , and In
diiucuuiMiot' thuo sin ; ( 'Diiimcncod si'ltiinr ,
Attui thieii wenks ot close nppllcation she
Hew down iimu her lolt > nest and twelvu
( hicks came tumbling aftci.
Asa Snvdci , ot CattskiH , N. Y. , owned a
hog which giuvv niua/lnglv lat. Its inpid In-
cieasitof udiposu tissiiuuttiactod the atten
tion of the neighbor , among them Dr. JJo-
l.'iudus , who told As\ that thu hog had diop-
hy and then tanped it. fcdxt-tlneo gallons
of vvalci llovvod fiom the tapping , and the
lioj diminished In sUe ( | idtc as last as it had
Inci cased.
The liUL'o donoslt of o.vstei shells at Dam-
arlscotta , .Me. . Is being lomovod , Thol'oit-
Innd 't'i-aiisLiipt spe'iklii- thu icmoval sa > s
hut few idles have been found thus fin . but
stone tools nnd human bones hn\o been dis
co veicd. Shells have been found fourteen
inches long , nnil thosu twelve Inches long are
common Ono pair tvvelvu Inches Ions and
six Inches wldo tins heen loiind , audit is
cstlmitod that the ester which thoj con-
tnlncd would hnvu ne.ul } lillcdapint meas
ure.
According to the l.-nt Israclltlsh Annual ,
the nuiid'ci ol Jews In the world ntpirsent
Is but ii , . ! onoo , ot whom fi.wo.ooo mo In
Kuiopc. Theio mo 280.000lews In the Uni
ted .Stales , SVJ,0001n Itussl.i. I.iVii.UUO Atis-
lilnii'liungaiy , i > ss.oojln CnlliclaUMOOO la
llung.ii.v. .ViJ.WXJIn ( iinmunv , and In rr.nue ,
not\\itli-iaiidliii , ' all the fuss that M. Dm-
iiiont makes about them In hU'Movv 1'rnuce , "
enl } Wtx .
WIIKN the liver and kldnoj-s are dis-
ordciod the bowels become inactive retain -
tain the badly digested food fiom the
stomach , nnd ohsorb deleterious matter ,
which by thus poisoning Iho blood gives
rise to other fictions doiangcment l.'so
Dr. J. H. McLean's hivcr nud Kidney
Balm.
THE MODEST MAID.
p I
This Is Hie iiOu ( > < u limn mild
Who nlwn } < u cd to be nfrald
Hereliarius'wolild bo o'ermuch
Hv Kill room dre < :
Hut to the senslmie ) "lie has stiayed ,
And In a Intlilng suit nriiied
bhu doth exhibit uudlsiuiveil
Her loveliness.
tt.
"A dress when cut decolU-lte. "
' 1 Ids modest dmiiH' ! tisd to - < iy (
"Alfotds a donl too much display
Of ne-ck and arms. "
Hut mark the iiuonslsteiic )
hlienovv uiiMUdeisbv the SUM
In dtess dosf-ciidlng toner knee ,
AMlliout alaims.
tit.
'houch she is of such modest mien
'hatovoi would she ultuli , I ween ,
Vcru but an Im h of ankle ecu
'ot admliation doth she com t ,
Vson the b ( ach sliu doth disport ,
Vtliicdlii skirts , 1 vow , as shoit
\sballot gills' .
tv.
Vnd what U moie , 'tis her delight
'o keep exhibited In sight
lei neck nnd aims supicmely while
To win n smile.
"oi this Is she w liom none could piess
"iidon a lowMieckid ball-loom diess.
Vh , well , thoroison ) nn can guess
'
'I lsthustle.
'NHY ' roii TIIL :
Shawls wltli tinsel and coloied stilpcs nic
i all lints.
A New York Cliinntnin sells bltds' ' nest
oup nt & - ! a plale.
Wide scat fs of India mull , ediredwith lace ,
to used as Helms.
Watcicd silk and camel's hah me a fash-
tumble comblti itlon.
Skills of ciochctod silk nio wont ovei sm
all of contiastlng color ,
bilk gloves aio ehiboiately embioideied
he whole loiiKtli of the aim.
Danish cloth is shown with piinted de
igns as well as In plain colois.
Hlnck fanscdu'od with Chniitllly lace aic
ovcrudwilh tin ) gold spindles.
Velvethodlccs will b. woin this nuiunin
vilh skills of dlllcient matoilal.
Klhbon continues In hUli tavoi as nn ac-
cssoi ) of day nnd evening dies cs.
Do eollus of bi-ids ol evei ) descilptlon
i.tve pendants ami op inlets to eoiicspond
.Sti aw bonnets and hats ot dai k shadi s , the
atlci laced with velvet , will be woin late in
he autumn.
It Is a bold girl 'vho will allow net best
, omii ( man to see 1m maiden ell oil at Celling
nto a hammock.
Cu-po - ntdilii ! . ' , annulled In shell foi-ns , is
n all thu eveniiu colon , mid ahu in daik
cd and ) ullow.
( ! , ut/e tans In all colois aie pilntoil with
) id ) and llovvoi tiuicius , and the ctUu is till
ml following tlieeoiiluiu ot the design.
The Princess ot Waios is the Kmpiess Hu-
gcnii ol nngkind but hoi dauuldois would
lot pass 11111101 at baiato = a. 'llieli taste in
.licss Is limited.
Pelt bonnets nnd hats toi autumn weal
aic ahead ) shown b ) ( lie impoitci.s. The
ditposdo not v.uv in nil ) gie.it dcince fiom
hosu woin dmiu , ' the siimmci.
A gill may sing and aglil ma ) dance
And on the plrtno urn ) nlav ;
Uut she won't siv astride of a fence MM } long ,
Keea'ise ' sliu am t built th.it wa ) .
In stvle olcoiltuiolhelow-coilcd "diilciant
twist" is lor itlui moment waging win with
lie moiu stjituly t.ishion in luir-die-slni ;
now n as the " .Josephine coionet. '
A gill looljswi II In a big iipton , with hei
sliovos lolled up and her plump aims h nod ,
dettl ) kiieung | | a batch ol doiu'h. hut sliu
gunoiall ) has the lolling-pln hand ) then.
"Josephine , " said a lad ) to hci scivant ,
' ) on h iv e cniektM anothei cup , 1 sec. ' ' " \ es ,
m idnm , and' ' Ilu kil } U just inikes out thu
do/en ; it wUs thu onlv one kit out ol the
lot. "
.Something nevl in leminlne locomotion i'
e died the "U'liut-i stint. ' It Is ijiiite gen
cialh adopt * d liy thu gills ot the pcilod , and
It duos nut matter that it is undignihed so
long as it is lashjonablu.
A small > tiitile , lound oi sqmre , can be
undo into n tu-uutllul oinamunt b } covoiing
lliu top with velvet , plush 01 satin , and tack-
imron ribbons ot v.11 ions coluis with mil
cifsuntsoi btats.it the ends.
'Yes , I'm oppiiiod to gills mnirIn' linrin-
ers , " said old Mis. bipos. Tmjiisttli.it
opposed to It that it ni ) iriils cin't niariy
people ot tholrovvn sex theneedn't mail )
at all. and that's all about It ! "
The supcistitiims bellevo th.it wlille at the
waslitub it tliu suds splish and wet the
( lollies vou aiu wealing jou will have bad
luck , 'fills must account ten the piulcieucu
} oung ladies of to da ) showlor the piano.
"Lama , " bditMis. . Pat venue , on thu hotel
pl //.i , to hei daughter , "Lama , go and ask
tholoadci ol them oichosti.is to play thai
'sMiipathy fiom Meddlcjolm'ovei again. It's
such an nwtul favoiitu ot mine ami join
lathoi's , too ! "
Although the dog st.u i.mes , and fabiics
light as air and hats sombioio like in SIA > uu
the ordoi ot thu d.i } altlioiuli the glass-
hoppei is n burden and one is tempted to civ.
"Oh Ith it this too , too solid Hush would mult'
) ot auiumii inatei i.ils aiu idling thu place's
held b > thedalntv summei stiills.
D.uk hluu ol the shade known as the
"Pnnccss ot W lies" hluo Is poih.ips the
most popular ot all colors just now. Tin
iiiuveisal uicomlminuss of this paillciilai
tone in blue icndcis It an unusual lavoilto
and then H is novel ohtiiisivo , it dees no
ladu in silk oi all-wool ttitulis. and it Is
agioiMbly idievcd In white , cicam , eciu , oi
led in ccilain shades.
Pu.in doboto is the new plush , in close ic
semblance to the pelts ol wild animals , thn
Isiucdtoi tilmuinu hats A high blown
toll h it has tlio turned tin brim bouleiec
with plush in Imitation ol the wildcat
Loose ! ) diapcd loops of biown ribbon are
atiangt'd in limit , whllo at the lUht side
tailing ovei tlm tinned up bilmls a clustu
of hi own plumes.
In the list ot now handsomel-eoloro (
Fic-nch caslimeies aio patteins wltli wld (
stiiues , thu dislgns woven thereon closd }
iiuitatiii' , ' Konsinu'lon omhioldcilc's. Thusi
} i\\lM \ \ aiu mostl ) e-mploed lei the skill
wnde tlm boijlce , Uinle and sleuves me o
plftin crtshmere , wltli nlmmlngs ot tliostilim
The tunic is Ion. and ample , conceaiiiiR ;
greater poitlon ot the skiit , but ln\i rl.itl ) ;
( Imped sons to iove.il thostilpcs on boll
sides of thiibklit.
"AI.i can't see } oti , " said a C'ass nventi
gill ot ten , as a pcddlei ascended tlm lion
stops , "is she at home' " ' "Yes , sli , bu
shu's veiv bus ) . " "Wlllou nsk her to sti * |
10 thodooiV" "No. sir ; she's up stairs tiv
Ing on her bathing suit uuloio the bit ,
minor ; vvhun slio gets it on sho'h going t
pose ; 11 she looks piduiesipio wo'ic going I
thosoaslioio , If she just sucms to he commoi
wo'io going out In thocountr ) to Undo WH
linin's. Please goaway and don't dlatutb th
poses"
I'umhlimtinnsijf maloiials will hu quite
miioli winii as ovei this lull , and Ihoro is nov
linidlv a labile In the mnikot that has no
somoothui luovlded to blend with It. Tiici
Is no sot iiilo to govern these combinations
but usually it plftin labile Is moio bocomln
lei the waist/and blceves unless the iiguic
goods used In conjunction Is of small desigi
or is mana/cd vi ly judioloiHlv In the cutting
Anothei convenient and economical fasldoi
which wllli continue In populailty will
bo the we.iilng ot a velvet jacket
with skills' ot a ( outlasting ma-
toiial. It is' ' not all essential that velvet
should unto ) into tlio constiuctlon of the
skirl , for thin million of the costume may beef
of ono and ellen two mntctlnls heaiin , ' no 10-
hitlon whatever to thu velvet bisque. 1 Uncle ,
daik blue , de'ep ' gamut , and some bountiful
shades of goldt > n-hiovvn velvet will bois-
pcdally chose-n lei this puiposo.
IMU'I'lTilMl.NT DUOl'S ,
Why do summei lo cs fade
Wh ) do summet Paiisles p iloV
Win nro old-time statesmen pkivcd ,
And wh ) ate last ) cai's blrdsrnesl stale ?
Whit Is the great need of thu liflui' ' A
night key will ) nn olcctilc light on tlio end ot
Them Is n vast foitune In stoio foi the man
who will Invent an automatic cnmpilirn Hu
nailer.
It Un't kind to nsk n vohmtcci who scived
threw months dining the lebelllou vvhelher ho
wasuver wounded.
' 1 his world is filled with men wlm > u chicl ,
occupation ispm-tlng thuii hall nnd uiiang-
Ing tlicii neckties.
I3.u limn olfers 8-0,000 for Hie sea sen pent ,
dead or alive , but wo fane ) that ho would
prefer to receive it dead.
The beat pluuo tunets uio blind. Uut they
cnn make out bllh just ns well as It they
could see out of three ei s.
A riorlda woman leceiitly killed n bear
with alom , pole. Hnd It Itcen a moussslie
would prol > alil > have fnlntid.
A KnTiilit nf Labor < avs thnl lawvers are
denied membership In tli.it ouanl/atlon l > e-
eiuso the } pnHliice nothlmr. .liisl let
him hire a lawvci and ak him to produce bis
bill and he w ill change hi < mind.
J. V. Dextei. of Donvei , has a pah of an-
clcnt iiistols wlilr-h were used l > } IJurrwlien
hetoueht Ilnmlltnn. It wo are not mistaken
Mr. Dextei Is tin * twelfth gentlcmin owning
those pistols so tlieio can lie lltlle doubt as
to theli bains the Identical p m.
It Is astonishing how nitirh lilircci n lunch
basket looks and how much lighter It feels
wlieli a joous asscihbliiKO st.nts on a pic-
nlcexuiislon , tlmii It docsaltei tlicou ! } man
of thtput } has lugged It about lot Ihelumis
ovei the sand and locks
" .lustlhiow melialfa do/on of thehlgcest
of those tiiiut , " sii l a iltl/en lo the h n
ilcnlci. "I'linivv llii'in" ' < | tuned the dealci.
"Yes and then I'll go home unit tell ill } wife
tint I taught 'cm. I ma > boa poor lisliei-
nmii. tint 1 m no lint. "
"Keep out of this watei mlllln parIP. ! " is a
signboard nailed to n laim tcnce a little cast
of New Urlghton. Conn. Some wag turned
tholm.ud ovei and wrote lliCH'on : " 1'ake
one. " and the pool fatmei has been almost
binkiupl in conscniienie.
'Iombstoiiedealci ( to widows Would vou
like the cause of } oui husband's death ex-
plnlucd on the stone madam' . '
Widow Well er pniImps It might be an-
piopilntc toengiavn a rounlo of cucumbers
on It , itoii will. [ New \ ork htm.
"Die idful odoi In this nelghborhnod. " re-
maiked .MugL's , as the ) strolled tip K Mteet.
"I wondi'i what It is ? " "H'm , ' ' said his
filend , with an investigntnij snltl. "Must
be the bail alt th.it ( .01 man band's boon play-
Inu on the coiner , " and the } tinned Into the
lamll } entiniice toi a disinfectant.
"Thcie ! " excl ilmcd vouug Spilgutns ,
siuhU'iil } , isthev wi'ieslttlngon the pla//a.
"I must goand get shaved. Mv lue Is as
lough as a cow's tongue. Itclljoult Icels
uucomtoitable to have thcsu litllo shoit
biistly hah sail ovei a lellovv's chin.Miss He
Puysiei alvvajs gushes when .voiinir Spilg-
uinssa } sail } tiling. " 1 know It. " said she
etliislvelv.nd then cveibodv leaned foi-
waid and asked hot all at once how she knew
it , but .Miss Do Piaster enl } blushed pain-
lull } and al I the ) weio hoi i Id things.
Inthedavsof " 4'1" ' a member of a pirtv of
mlneis stiaved awa.v liom his conintiii ] > ns
and was destiood by wild beasts. The
tilcnd upon whom It devolved to "break the
nevvsm'iitlv" to the beicaved ii.uentsshowed
hinisell eiiuiltothe occasion b ) writing the
lollowlnglctti'i : Mlstei Sndth Deci sin the
ICiotes lias ete ) om sun's hedolf
Ylllb .Joll.N JOM.S.
At flip Mntlnoc.
/ilUNlM / ( Hill If I :
1 saw them at the matinee ;
In limit ol me the } sat :
'Ihov weiu attentive to the plnv ;
Kach woio a low-eiow nod hat.
Yes , low-ciowned hats tint did not hide
Theactonliom mj view ;
With vvoudei I sat btupelled ,
i'oi they wuie silent , too.
The } wen * twomiildciis } oiinzatid full ,
Two imideiis tall wi ru the } .
And I beheld them sitting theie.
Attentive to the pl.t ) ,
And then to think Unit I could see
Tinstatic ! "Tvvas all In view.
'Tvvas such a gloat siiipnse to mu ,
1 sc.ucu knew what to do.
The } did not cli itter. Neil her spoke
. * -o sti.inge it all did seem !
I thoutiht but just then I awoke ,
And lound It was a dUMiu.
The posit on ol captain in the Silvation
Ainu Is not alw.isa sinnei-cuie.
bun Jonessi s that a mm who Ins moie
.suiiso than idigion is i i.iscil , ana one with
moio K li.'ion th in sense a fool , ' 1 his would
Keep the miiiitot | mankind tcettiinj ; on
the lence most ol tliu time.
Ingeisoll sivs no sin h man as N'oih evoi
existed. The miscldot hu didn't ! Allen
whom , then , was Noih Wcbstoi , the
dlctlonaiy man , namedV Don't Noah.
"Who hold up Moses' hands whllo Joshua
foil'lit the Philistines' ' " ' asked thu suponn
( undent. "Hui and Aaion , " shouted tlio
good bov. "bho and Aaion , " softlv com clod
thu now schoolma'am , whose stiong poini
w.is giamm.u.
"JJutvvhciu are the iilneV'1 was the text
taken b ) a Hrooklvn minister last biind.iv.
The dunces aie , deal Iiiolhoi , that vvliilevou
was piopoundlng thoe.iinost ( iiicstion the )
were out on some-II it and open lield tisini , '
to wn\ sonic othoi nine.
I toy. Mi. Livvsnn ( continulni : his convol
ution ) : "And ns I came in , Mis Muggins , !
hecamo convinced that ill Hoggins liad ex-
peilcncul n cliamru ut hc.ut , 1 saw him
piavlng In the .nulim on his hendcd knees. "
X. ! . Hniriilns w.is digging woims foi a
Sund.i ) lishlng ti Ip , and she know It.
New Oilcans Pleavuno : Llehtning stiiuk
a IUiioi | saloon in Houston 'Ihuisdav , and
knot ked sonsduss the piopiictoi and killed a
ctistomoi vvhi > was vvaitim : lor drinks. 'I his
should boa tciiiblc w .u nine. It toadies the
lesson that saloons , as well as chuidi
steeples , should bu inovidcd wilh lightning ;
rods.
rods.Not
Not fai fiom the ell } livisa little boy bo
tvvccn loin and live .voirs ol age. A shoit
time : uro a pl.iinato ol his died and his
mothei was anxious that ho should ho im-
pu-ssed with the solomnit ) oi tlio event , and
she said to him , "Do.n little has gone to
heaven. " "lias he , " hcsnld , "vvhuic will he
" "
go next"
Kev. Mi Unity was quite Iibeial , but so
absent-minded. Tliov wc > o making up a
whist parly , vv lien Miss M.ibd siid to him :
"Mi. Unllv , won't j < m join us''Mi. De Hems
Is going to take a hand nnd bo mpntlnci. . "
Mi. Unit ) wakes up with a st ut , and hieaks
ovcivbod ) up bv lomaikiiu : "Inn t tlih
ratlici sudden' . ' Have vou B'ot allcensi-V"
Counti ) pitsoii ( todlyisltoi ) : "Didn't 1
see ) ou nt chinch todav' ' " City visitor :
"Yes , and If vou will bdiovo It , It was the
liisl time that I can lemciubei when I dldn'i '
u'oto sleep leloiotlioscimon was half ovei. '
Counti ) pu.son : "Indeed ! but 1 am uirah'
) on aiu tt.v Ing to Ilaltei me. " City visitor
1 Oh , dear no , It wasn't that ; It was te ! llles. '
Counti ) parson , "OhI"
l-'list Mtnlstoi Well , theio doesn't ( .cein ti
bo much money coming In at my < liurcli lei
the heathen nowndiis. Second Minister Xo
not in mlnu eitliui. Piist Minlstoi It I
wasn't a triune of chance I'd pioposobavliif ,
ft liispball game one da ) e\eiy week for that
object , to bu divided among our missions
.Second Mlnistoi-damn ot clmnco ! Humph
it Isn't , We can beat jon an } da ) In the
vvcuk.
A mlmstci of n certain chinch In LoganIn.
when about to ascend to the pulpit to be.lt :
tliosotvhes last .Sunday evening , Jolt his line
silk wedding lint upon thu lionl seat. Whn
was his consternation , while announcing his
text , to see one of those ovci-dicMsul stylish
ladies enter , walk up the aisle , and , laclm ,
the pulpit , sit down HIIIIIIO nnd plump oi
that hut , mishlng It Hat us a dooi-mnt , nm
holding tidown imtd the close of UIOSCIVKU
It must have boon n trlng oidoal , hui 111
hcio continued his seimon witliuut bd '
thu slightest indication of rcsliv one's.
Amuiiir the ninny laiuilmblc stoi les ( old o
tlio lalo Di. Kompci ot Xnshola , Wis , Is the
following : On Ids way Immo tixllnnoi oiu
da ) , meeting ono ot tlio divinity students
he coidlall } Invited the vnung man to ac
compiny him , adding that ho did not know
ns theio would ho much to eat , The InviU
tlon was accepted , and Immediate ! ) upoi
being scaled at table the doctor commence !
cat vin-f a boiled hum Unit was doing duty fn
tlio wcondoi tldid time. "Wh ) , ni ) deir , '
exclaimed Ids vvllo In smprlsu , " .voiihnve
loigolten something , Vou have not asked
thu blessing. " "Vcs. I havo. too , " blullly
lespondod thodocto.I " 1 have asked the
Lend to ble s ihb old ham nil I'm '
Ho Hold thn Aroiis Curtis.
F.slolliiH ) Dull 1'ho son of a prominent
Chicago minister went oul to Montnna
to look up a business opening but soon
ictmnud with mi empty pocket book and
watch and chain
" 1 am Mipiiscd to too 3011 back so
soon. " said his father.
' Voll 1 foul hat that
, bomuvv waj my-
'
self.
"Didn't you btuko a biisinoss rhanco
out thuro that jou could taku adv'aulago
° 1J"
"I struck plenty of chances , but the
fact is , lather , 1 liuv er hold tnu right kind
ot a hand to take adv ant ago of them Can
jou let mo huvo about t"- "
The largest graduating el.ibs ever rooordinl
Is that turned out thlsMMS > n b ) Chaut.iuiiua ,
which numbiirs-1,000member , * .
OMENS ,
\1 f.iMitfnoml ( It
The coin silk lassels on the Hdge
Aio tiion/lng In the sun ;
The oldctln n les l v the lirldgo
And all nlong the um
( itovv punile tlnnuith thoRolden daSJ )
Harberrlcs b\ the wall
( Jlow crimson In thcsllvci ha/u
That ushers In the lull.
Old ocean dieams in slumbers deep
Of wintr ) stoims to come ;
In far-otr mountain cvvcins shop
Thu winds , the btooksnio dumb.
Tin1 painldce , in lone countr ) l.ilte ,
\ \ hiis low a speckled wlnn ;
Sllcnn' tliroiiL'h all tluMVoodkindielpn ? ,
The blub toigct to slug.
I'mm } ellovv coinlields slowly piss
I lie ( lows , with ( lanutug eij ,
All d.l } IllHill the dicluld itlass
Klpe apples tall A sigh
I'.icapes the en Ih nl thoucht of dentil ,
1 01 siiinnipt's lifi'so In lof. . . ,
And. llulteilng down on lhal sigh s taint
bie.ith , . . .
Kails down the 111 it red leaf.
ML'SICAIj AM ) miAMATlC.
Vcnll , thoiomposci , Is busy on hU OKTI |
"I.uo.1 *
The libieSlo to Vetdl's new opcia of
"Otello' Is wilttcn hv Uollo.
McKce Kinkin will pioditcu Ola ) dieone's
" ( inldun Ul.uit" this season.
Mile. AlmcolmsH'Imned Irnnt Trance with
hci new musical coined ) , "Mai ilii , ' ' b ) b.u-
dou.
dou.Mine. . Knimicailv became unoxpcclcdlv
Indisposed In London list Thuisda.v. It is
a glil.
Miss Mnr aicl Mithoi In * ic civcd HIP
luaisoof the ban ri.incl > * ui ciltlcs foi hei
Juliet.
Vlctoiia Yokes will loin hei sKtci Ko-l-
na'scomed ) foiccs dining hei i onilng Amci-
lean tour.
1'iederick Witide 1ms been well iccmved
duiinir the past week at the Wlndsoi thuatie ,
.lomi ) Lind's daughter , who Is spoken of
as having a maivulous voice , Is coming to
this counti } .
A Hiooklii slock company is to shoitly
build a casino , foi which Si"iOeH ) has ahead )
boon contiibiituii.
Kliiillv ht , besides his now promises ,
Immulit tiomtlio Alhambia , London , thlit-
tvvoot theli best ( Oipliccs.
' 1 ho coming se ison at Yicnna Is to w Itncss
hv w.iv ol novelties Massenet's "Cld" ami
Haunt's "Mailla" and "Koiiigane. "
Two Aim-lie in vocalists , Miss Ucrtiudo
Cilsvvnld and Miss .lounio Dlckoison , ate
gaining lame and mono ) In London opeiatie
chclo * .
iila : Husscll , a fab Amcilonn dobutaiito
upon the London opeiatlu stage , Is tiniilinr
thu heads ot the London loidrf cia/althuii0'h
thai is not haul to do.
lalvvin Hooth's eniMgomcnt al the Chicago
openi-hoiise will begin on tlio 4th d i )
oi Oetobei. Mi. Hooth has not been seen tn
Chicago toi over live ) onis
Upon living and Teii'siotiun to London
"Ruist" will bo rcsiimod and a now scuiiu
added the witches' kitchen. "K.itist" was
not novil ) woin out when living closed
to visit Ameiicn.
The new score of "Wcithci , " by Massenet ,
is to bo ( oninosed on W.igiioiiin minclples.
i\-ot : ) diaiacter to bo dlst luiuslicd by n tvp-
K.dmdod ) , hut no duetts , tiios or chums.
The aiilhoi uf thu iiuictto is Miliic't.
' 1 ho sung w Inch is sum : in the soiondnct
ol "Mikado" on tinaiiivalot the -.it-.it HI-
lei. is siid to bu a uunulnu Japanese song ,
which was voiy pupulu dinlni ; theievolu-
lion of IbiO.
Mmo. Modjoska is ] ililng this week it
Doimr. 'that oiig.igemont ends hci Call-
Ionia loin. " Piom theio she goes east to
iclio.uso lei tin * opening ol IK i SC.IMIII ,
which begins the lastol Uitobui.at the Union
S'liiaio the itiu.
( ioiinod is at woik upon a piece lei tin
stage loiindod on thuston ot "Abelaid ami
IleloNe,1 tin1 loving monk and nun. It is In
he in u new loimbetvvoen opeia and matoilo ,
with choiiis moio piomlnont than usual , but
with only loin 01 flu- solo puts.
( lonovleve Ward lolmned from I'a iopc b )
thoCitol Kidimond , and is lull ot onthus-
m m conioinlng hei coining season in "The
( jucun's K.ivoilto , " vvlildi is an adaptation of
Lugeno.Seiibo's "La Velio d'i.iii. " In it
slio impelsonates faaiah , duchess of Mailboi-
oii.h
M.-dame Jiidie has gone Inck on hrr pio-
viouslv announced detuimin.itlon to retiio
liom thu st.u'o and IMS consented to letiun
to the \ailetles next seison. In boptenibci
the pnpul.u diva of opcictta goes on a pie
fi * siiii.il ( loin to Copcnliazcii , Stockholm
Clnistinia , leeching tl.'JOO lei littccn pei-
foiniances.
The gioat Milvvnukeo fcslival wns finan
cial ! ) as well as musical ! } n success , it was
not nccoss.u ) to touch the giiaianleo tiind ol
3170,000 , and at tut jia > montot all oxpe'iincs a
small b ilance. Is expect ed to bo In fav 01 ol tin
Singcihiind. As some ot the salniles woio
licivv this is satisfactory. Mdllo Llli Leh
man had a Ice of about M)00. ( )
When the H iiiinin diciis pai.ido was about
to st.ut at Madison , AV'is , last Thuisdi } tin
bonnet ol a Mrs. Itdll , ot that city , wa .
blown into n panther's enge by the wind ,
and while the 1 idv Mooped to pick it up u
pinthci seized hoi hv the h dr and planted
Ids daw sin hoi fa'O. Thu hulv s Iltewas
Mved b ) the koopoi , hut she was taken to
hci home with a badl ) mangled face.
Mar ) Andeison , who has spent some da )
ol hui holiday In thu lake counti ) , Kngland ,
Is now located at the Dei wmitwatei hotel ,
Voitmsci'e ' , on the maigln of tliuljucen ol
the Lakes , a mile fiom Kosvvlck , the metio
polls ot the- lake country. Miss Anderson
wont to the lakes by tlioadvlco of hoi nilid-
el in. lo secuio complete lest aflci her M-IV
laboiioiis Reason 1 itcl.v concluded
Johann Strauss Is at woik on a now
opciotto , whoso libn'tto has boon luinlshed
b ) lleirbchnit/er , the authoi of the " ( Jyps )
Haion. " btiauss Is said to compose in aei )
unmcthodluil way , jotting down his Idens on
nnv pleoo of papei I ) ing near him , and noi
liiticraiuiitly on n bulk note. Ills c.uolii
wife L'onoiall } inspects Ills culls to see
whdhei they do not bc.n tiaces of hurhiis
band's genius.
When Madame Adollna Pattl appeared for
the Mixploson lii-nulit icccntly tht ) stage o'
Dimy Lane theater pic-ncntod the appc.it
anco of a lovely llowei--aidcn. One ot the
llnostolfeilngH was n whip ot lluwcin , the
sails ol widen weiu nuidu of furns ; nnd Mi
Maploson handed to Pntll a glgnntle basku
oliosos. A hno wltkei tilMd | of Mowers
wns also conspicuous amongst tlm lloialot
icrings. Thu numbei of dllTciont bouquet , '
nnd the vailety ol shape exhibited In thel
aitlstle designs weio also notevvoitliy.
A iccont lettoi irom llln Del Janeiro ns
"Tho Hn/lliiuis have become indlllciunt ti
nlluioments ol Uuidi Heinlmiill since slu
horsewhipped a lady mumbei of hci com
pany. Husincss nt the tlicntio hasfnllunol
and , to add to Itc-inhnidt'H tiniiblcs , tin
police have bei n instruclod to inovcn
hci dcpaituio iioiu Itio wilhout a passiioit li
i oiisciioiico ( | of the locit maslsliatu hnvlnc ,
been iiiibllil ) In-ullod hv thot'ocontiic Don.
Sol , 'Ihls pio'ccdln m iv ( iiiibu thu miina
aermiieh Inoon\onloncu '
Hei r Xlomami , the Inmous ( lorinnn tenoi
has been miL'ti c-d lei thu nuxtscison at th
Now Ymk Metiopolltan Op ( ia hoasu. Nit *
maun Is wllhoiil i ilval an Tininhauser ami
as'l'ilslan.hesldis helm : noted lei adinlraJh
work in "Lohungilii , "Shufiiod , " "Jhi
Walkuio , " olc. Wa'jnt'i bids fair to bo to-
iiroscntcd at the Mctiopcilltan next scasoi
h ) at loasl boven opeias , the livo.diond ;
lvon "HlPiul , ' "Tanuhiusoi , " 'Walkmo , '
"Mulstei singer' and "Rohcnsrln' and b ;
two now to this counliy "I'llstan" am
"Siegfried. " 'I ho new i Unit M < nu. Ciualiu ?
will lend the ballot at this | IOIM > make.s certain
tain aat.t . Inipiovciiinnt In IhU derailment ,
Pusliidiiik Is the imiiu ! of Iluffalo HIH >
"Wild West" Indian who eloped with a
Nfvvaik , N. J'hi. .
( Jliailca II. llot , of the "Tin Soldlci"ls
inpoited as to bu huill ) miriicd to I'luu
Wntsli. a incmbei of his (
A HiiiUcporl. Conn. , in in vv i > astonished
thcotliet da ) by u'colvln an invilalioii to
the wedding of his dUoscud wlfo ol onlj two
weeks ,
Porishn hiidos aie dlsciid'ng ' Ihn co tl )
l"it 'iiibicoiiiilK Irtco vrll lot thu ally tnllc ,
which oi.volops the liguiu with dclicalo cloud
! ! ! ( pliert.
Jennie Winston , who litH } ohtnlnod A dt-
VOK u item hi1) ) liiisb.iud Is iouilod | Us about
to re iiilfi the iiiatiiiiiunial bphcic nt Pott-
lind , Oio.
Oio.Yan
Yan Vechten of Albiny , who was at
nno time conslduied the comliiK mlstioss of
tlm whltu nnuie , will leturn trom Kuropu
Sept. 1. Kiiicor now bus It that bho will be
cumuMrs. Justice Cray ,
Mr. Hradtoid Dunham , general manager
Of the Hiltlmoip.COIdo rnllroad , wns ninr-
] c l al HaUimorc h < < t vock lo Miss Sophia
Dnniilnston diiiKhler of Mi Wm I" . Dun-
nlnglon Iho woddlnif picseiils wcro very
numerous nnd handsome Mr Dunlmurs
Ti lends and formci lalhoid associates all
ovot the eountr } icmeiiibciod him.
'I he ui.irn.isc of Peter Dodger , jr , to Miss
Carlotta I blmir. on Tnp da ) , unites two
fimllies of Now \ ork blower , both hsv lint
wealth amountini ! t ndlllotis. The brldnt
pair ha\o gone to I'mopcon a weddinRtour ,
and on Iholi lotmn tliouioom will btvome a
paitnci ot his latnoi in the luow ing of beer.
Miss M m f i PP. the novelist otherwise
"Charles l hoit Cnulilock' Is In \\n hliiK-
ton v lulling tin' diiiuthtei of ( onuio siuan
Ulchaidson , of lonncscc. Al the ItcclnniiiK
ol next nionlii she will ntmn t < > her 1'onne-
see liotiu1 In compiii ) with Miss Ulchnidsou
to lunke tlnnl prcpiiatiolis Jot hci wedding
whlih will I ike place eail ) In M'ploinbor ,
Aneldcil\ couple was unit i led tiv Squlr
roiemin at Louisville. Kv . on Tucsdny
attcriiooii I he gloom , aged sixtv tluocniul
the liildc , need tlltj-iiiuo ) oais weie enirauod
wliontho } woio viuini : and a < pwiiol es-
tiatnipii them while lie ws cndeavmIng to
ncipitioa suiililcncv Lilclv the ) talked the
inultoi ovoi and coiicludul tluvl the ) could
jot bcliappv touclhoi
Vnc'athin'N I'nil ,
Tne suinmoi season's almost
The di ) sale uowlui : look
The ( hlhlien arc ictiiiiilng home
In time to go to school.
Their sunliuint faces dcoph tanned ,
tshovv how much fun thcv'vo had ,
The ) ic coming hick ivlicshed lor woik-
And ) d the ) don'tseem glad
Xow Is it not preceding strange ,
'llml the ) should led thai wn ) "
'i'liit thov shuiild bate to to to woik
Altei two months' ol phi,1 )
it's voi ) h.ud toumlcistand
I'm much suipilscd , Aien't \otiV
And vet , now lomcto think of It ,
We used to loci so too.
Ul'.MCtOUS.
Thicegip.it ui.indsonsof Chailcs Woslpy
aie now cloigmonot the chinch of Diiiilaiul.
HIsliop Kilev pddSViUMIot the Piolostant
Kitisnnnl chinch piopt'il ) In the City oC
Mi\ko , and now the ssmio propirl ) has a
\aluoof J > lOOi.OJi ) , so gie.it has beun the In-
ClO.lsC.
Ihu nlnotcciilliannual coinenlion of the
Young Men's Chilstiun association and uvan-
gollial chinches ot New llnmpshlio will bo
hold In Dovei.N' . 11. , liom September 30 to
Oetouei ' ' .
A cimp mpctingwlll ln % hold Al Aurora , III.
from Septemhoi 1st to l-'tli hv the Advent ;
Cliilstlan association. N'oail.v a hundred
mlnlstoisaie oxpceted tutakopirt in the
sci vices.
Tlieto Is a w.iim discussion going on bo-
twocn vaiiotis pioniliiont Congiegatlonallsts
concoining the theological tests siihmlttvd lo
caiidldiitos lei mlssionaiy woik under thu
Anieiican bond.
The Catholic Itevlew states that the In
stinct of Catholics , laillitid to the tradictlons
ol thu chinch , has been alvvas and uvuy-
whoio minlfestly annlnst the unchristian rlto
ol ciomallon , no mallei how specious tlio ai-
guments in uslavoi.
Accouling lo tlio olllclal repot t of the ? en-
ci-al of tin1 Jesuits , latcl ) issued , this older is
now "M ) oars old. has I mulshed-MS saints ,
1,100 mnitiN ll ! pones. ( A ] ciidinals , 4 000
aichbislioiis , ii,0t)0authuis ) , and now iiiimbetd
' . ' ,500 missioinuies.
Lieutenant ( Jovernoi Ames , of Massichtt-
setts , has donated to tlio Mcmoilal Methodist
chinch at I'hmouth. Mass , a Ucll cast bv
Paul Kcveio , and whiih w is once known at
Hoston as the "Llhcil ) Hell , " it having been
ciistomai ) torliulton the Issuincu ol pat-
don pioclamationsb ) Hie governoi.
Hcv. Dr. Lathiop.instoi the Baptist cliuich
at htamloul. . Conn. , haviiu olloiod his leslg-
n.ition , the pistoif. ol the lddscop.il , Conpic-
Latlon.il , Methodist , rnlverh.ilist and Koniiui
Catholic chinches have iciiiiested him to le-
p.ill it , whiih is oni'ot the most lumarknblo
Inst incus ot Uhiistian unit ) and smpathy
on u-coid
The numbei ol poisons admitted to the
Piosblcrian ' clnnclics of the counti } last
vai "on examination" was 51,177 , thu
l.ugost numbei in the nistoryot tliechmchos ,
and an incieisu of S,1 ) ' ) ovoi the pioviom
} cai. Notwltlislaiiding this Incl. the net In-
CICM ° O ol niomhi'isliip vv.is smallei b ) over
U.ooo than in 1 4.
in Donvoi , Cole , out ol n Chinese popula
tion of iiiX ) . 175.uo in schools and 100 undir
dcildod religious inlliionco. In San Kian-
cisco theio aie | s , mcmbois connected wltli
thu Chlnosnand Japanese churches , .W hav
ing been added dining the pist > cai. Theio
aiutM'iidipils in their schools. There aio
also-1 Chinese hiinday schools in Chicago. * 3 ,
A convention ot ropiosentatives ot psalm
singing chuichos Is to bo held in Holland
dining the comliiir autumn. The chuiches
in lieland , Scotland and Amorlca who bear
the n mm of Kclormed I'rosb.vtotiaii , hayo
appointed deputations , and , while the con
vention will not niobibl ) bu lurire , It will lx ]
vei ) determined in suppoitof thu piinclplci
foi which the psalm singing churches stand.
Tin ) joinnal ot the cent < 'nnlid convention
of the Kplscopal dloci'Bool Dolawaio Rives
the following ngiiies : Cluigy , 'J > ; pirochlal
and mlsslon.uv , 1 ! > ; total , IS ; pmislies. 'J7 ;
chuiches and chapels , : w ; biptlsms , iufatUH ,
'J3V adults. . ) ; conlumod , If.J . ; communi
cants , present iiiiiultoi , 'J.'jsj ; fcunda } school
teaclicisaiid sdiohus , " , U" > > ; total contribuj
tllills , s4iS.7\ | : !
Young Men's Chribtianassociation woik Is
making gicat pie iess : e. g. , theio are now
ninot' , association buildings In the United
States and Canada , and tlio net valuu ot as
sociation piopei ! ) nggicgites5r.HU,17 { ( ; 'AT
associations own libraries ot lir-Vi-M volumes ,
woith S"il ! < > s ; III lead Inu moms , with a
total daily avoiagu attendance of ! i , BS7 aio
icpoitodij ; : ; a"soiiatioiiK iu ) > oit gvinnnslums
and otlici means ot ] > hblcal cultuie , Hiioh ng
lowing , biso ball , and oulliiuclubs , bowlln , ;
allev. etc. , and " > ' . icpoit ( M hiblo classes ,
with an ag rcvato avoraio attemlaiicu of
7'HO ; : i7 i men are devoting their whole
lime to thu work as gencial Hccictailes ,
lihrailaiiH , ami gymnasium InstruclorH.
' 1'heioaie 1,00 ( ; associations In tlm counttv ,
liuludini ; the rollugu , rallioad , ( iuim.in , col-
01 od and Indian blanches. The annual 0111-
lunt uxponses of thosu thousand societies
amount lo over SBOO.OOO. . Thoio aio 050 ul
these associations In ( Jeimany , 7i ! In Prance ,
fi70 in Cucat Britain , t'.H In llollaiid.bin
Uussin , 'J in China , : t In Japnn , 0 In India , 13
In Atilca , 14 in Australlii , etc.
KDUOA'i'lONAIj.
A school Idsloi ) of Ohio will bo compiled
1) ) > a Columbus piofcssoi.
Small Wlnnemuccn , the Indian princess , Ia
lluc-nl in live Iaiigmues , hut thicoof them
aio Pluto dialects. Thu olhuis aioSnanUli
nnd Kngllsh.
Women , It Is well known , arn oxcludi'd
liom tlio collects and unlvcr.sltlr-H of the
( I'ciinaii r.mpliK. Both moil and women
look vv ith durlslon nnd disdain upon tliu sirl
at < iiiaiit ) loaculcmical lionois.
The two college ? of thu Baptist denomina
tion In Iowa , one at I'd ! , i and tlio oil. er in
Dos Molni's , have just bum consolidated Into
one , the school at Pella being lumoved to Dos
.Mollies. The ihango will l.iko ulluct at thu
be innliu ol the nuvv nehool ) cni.
Tlio tube ot the gioiit Lick tolescouo now
coiihttuctln , ' will bo lift-slx feet long , and ,
with the noimous spectroscope atlnshod.
llocxticmu length oi thu Instiuniont will
appioich hlxl-hvo led. The only novel
foatiuo In tluililaiih ol the ohsi'iator.v . Is thu
usuot hdiaullu povvui to udso nnil lower
the flooi of thu dome , tb.uicb.v obviating thu
necessity of an ohseivlng cliali
Piofossoi Ituiliilt Vhuliovr , thu Icnincd
siugcon and phsiclst , has laid ) picpaicd
Rome Inteiustlng tables con > ornlng the color
ot the hall. i > ) PS ami sUin .iminu thudormnn
school diildii'ii. Six million sov en hundred
and lilt } eight thousand eight bundled and
twenty seven pupils wcro examined , bcliia
noaii ) loui-liltlis ol nil tlio voulli of "A K
t'.if Of tin-so . ' . , { : - , | . ( | H-r cpnt
belonged to tinhloml iv pe , Oj'i.SttH.05 ' per
u-nt t" the nrnm-lip , and . ' . ( .V.I/ITU 'il.ll jtor
centio tlm blond Iniinotli ) oi mixed tvpe ,
dlstfnr tl ) siiowhu that moil'1 than ono Ui'l ' ot
IhoiMitlHUiumbcraic in ilm htti i cJtcgoiy ,
( \\o-iiilulsol the loma nlng 10 pci rent bdng
blonds ,
Tlm Ainci Iran Sod d clcnco iissodivlion
begins n live da ) * ' session fit Saialoa ; hop-
tcntn-i tt. The pioKianimo thlsviai Incliiilcs
an onciiiii'addioss b ) Cm mil I ) , U in-lit ,
uipsldont of thuasMiclaliun , on 'J'opulir In *
blimtlon In social science , " u'dchiieon
"t'lio toachhu of nodal sclcmo In inllei'cs
nndunlvoitllius , " in wiiich Novel ! t Uttitolj
Is aiimmnrd to take pail , an nddrcsH In Dr
I'ltus Mmisoii Coan , ol Now York , on ' Min
eral water * at lioiiiu and abioad' " ind
on "Hojcotlonand thulnvv" hv Ilov. I' . It.
Huron , of New llavcn , and "Shad
immicration bo fiutlioi rcbtrli'lcd by
tony"by ! Kev.Dr | T T. Aliingd , of
Llavcn.