THE ( BIAHA DAILY' BE ; KryPAY , AUGUST lr 1SS6. T Tl 6S5SESSSS d / " C § ET8 I " * " . i . e P" i § se * it * * I f 1 A F.f 'V * a * /V t P * * < " "V fi * 0 IssirJI' < * * B i 1 E = " = /5 5 * " O 1 . * % v2 I 5 Ea /\'fif 2OULi1W6SI WOi 5161 id 111 clnCI n amain eli S6IS 2 .02 .03 ? " Is : m.ad.e inn. alm.ost cuz .lisnjn.itecS. suXEio'u.rELts laa. tl e real estate is S LOTXTo iferirxg : soiree of tlb.e choicest ; projpert37- : : inn. O2ncLal2.a. titLere "toe ioi3.2n.c5L cit3r iprojpert-sr to com.3pa.re Located one mile from the postoffice on Leavenwor tli street. Tliis property lias been upon the market just one week and during that short space of time , nearly one third of it has been sold. There is no doubt that all the lots in this addition will be closed out -within the next three weeks. If you want a rare bargain do not fail to secure a lot in Mayne Place. nether beautiful addition offered by Mr. Mayne , is Located in the northwest part of the city. In this addition large numbers of beautiful residences are being con structed , and , in fact , it is now enjoying a boom not equalled in any other part of the city. The finest acre property to be found in the cifcy is "Newport , " just west of Ft. Omaha. When you stop to think that you can buy an acre of this beautiful property for $300 , you will see that it is a safe and rapid way of making money. \ \ the Office of theC , E , Mayne Rea ! Estate and Trust Co , can always be found the Choicest Business and Residence Property , on the Easiest Possible Terms , Also a large lot of property for rent A complete set of Abstracts kept in tlie office for public use. Catalogue and price list of Omaha Real Estate mailed free 011 application. Office open evenings until 9 o'clock. MEN OF MOUTH AND MUSCLE , The Windy Bobs and Pugilistic Jims on the Floor of Ooneress. GOSSIP ABOUT POLITICAL BORES ThoCobbsnnd LiairdsancUngalls and Millers jiruT Other Museum At tractions The Uellows of Both Houses. WASHINGTON , July 28. [ Correspond ence oil the BEE. ] Nebraska roust feel royally proud of her fighting congress man ; he certainly has distinguished him self with a Cobb. No doubt Indiana feels equally proud of her "bully boy. " Well , these little side shows help to make the closing scenes of congress interesting to lookers on and decidedly attractive to the small boy who is ever ready and SDoiliug for a fight of some kind. You have no idea how comforting it is to us folks here in Washington to be assured there are a few lighting men in congress , and c'-pecialjy is it comforting and sooth ing to the unprotected female who looks upon the M. C. as her natural guardian. Of course that's what they are here for , to look alter the people's rights and throw a protecting arm about the help less innocents. They all make noise enough , but like pop-guns , don't go off dangerously , and so it can be rendilly un derstood how much wo appreciate two such brave men as Cobb , of Indiana , and Laird , of Nebraska , and if the worst comes to the worst , as is often the case here at the national capital , we shall have noble defenders in the above named gentlemen. It would be a pity not to reelect - elect these grand plug-uglies. Visitors at the capital no longer ask the guides to point out vVilliarn Walter Thelps nnd Tom Heed , but inquire about the light ing gladiators and are willing to pay n liberal price for photographs of these classic heroes of the forty-ninth congress. THE SENATE SIDE SHOWS arc also interesting but of a more digui- Hud naturc.Euch as Senator Miller of New Yoik twitting Senator Ingalls of Kansas nbout wearing a rod necktie : just as though Ingalls hadn't a right to wear a rod neektie. Conkliug used to be very fond of red neckties and red handker chiefs and ho looked awful pretty in them , but Miller is different , very differ ent from Conklinsr in his choice of colors as well a ! > quality of brain , and the sigh ) of Ingall'e rod necktie infuriates him and W.U him to bellowing like a bull. Ingalls can twit on facts as > well as any other ft'low in that senate , and he just let drive at Miller on Im color , the coloring he. Miller , uses in his butter to make u sell well.-j'hD way Ingalls talked about that ' 'iRmer color" made fun for the galleries. You see Miller has a farm of his own out in York State and loses no opportunity to turn an honest penny on liis garden sass and things as well as the few pounds of butter he takes to the country store in exchange lor tea , ooffoe sugar and strimid penpurmmt candy to iwcften the rural maiden. S-ESATOK SIIU.EU , Or NEW VOUK , looks like a man who wuukl be very fond of rat and ivliitc papperrauu candy , ant ho has that unmistakable something about him u hicti suggests inolassos. vin - gar and pump water to the farm hands on n hot July day. From temixiranoe principles he wouldn't give them sj ked lemonade for fear that it might make them droWfrY in the hot noonday sun thereby losing a uiluiite from the labor hat is earnin < r the bread by the sweat of he brows. Miller well understands that a second lost bears no interest. " \ alua- ) le man to have in the United States sen- ite. In personal appearance Senator Miller looks pnlpv. caused no doubt by close attention to his business profession , hat of grinding chips into pulp to make irown paper , such as is used for wrap- jing up beef-steaks and yellov ? soap , jigalls likened Miller unto a "hippopot amus dancing on a slack rope. " Now .his is one of Ingalls' sly jokes. Ingalls n't as unkinti as he talks ; he really didn't raean anything cruel to Miller , even if Miller did twit him about his red necktie. You see it is close on to elec tion time and Ingalls was gen- erouslv disposed and wished to give Miller a friendly boost , eh. He did. Miller has a round full harvest moon like face and full as expressive. His head is large and roving like a country house with several empty chambers , and like all distinguished men slightly bald fromt scratching for ideas. He wears a htftivy iHJsd with crisp , short student-like side whiskers which reminds one of letting down the top blinds. Not in the least English , yon know , although he has a swaggering drawling gait , but his speech gives him away , so to speak ; that is not in the least English , nor is it Knickerbocker Dutch , but pure un adulterated York Suite talk. He is n pretty good sized fellow , larger than the common run of men , and he Knows n. Thinks a good deal of himself , nnd measures people and things by that standard. He may have ardent admirers among the divine sex. presume he has , but the senate pages don't gather about his desk like nies about a sugared dish. Takes a good deal of hard clapping on the part of Miller to bring one of these little ungodly rascals to his desk this hot weather , and then they don't mind playing truant on the way to swope a lly off of some kind old bald pate. The senate page stamlirig in front of Miller's desk always looks two ways for Sunday , as it were , and in the most indiQcrcnt manner possible takes the order , careful not to break his neck hurrying. Miller is not the man to attiact the small boy to his side affectionately. Boys like and re spect men they can iook square in the face , 1 he senate small boy never looks Warner Miller square in the face. Miller dresses business-like usually , but his clothes have a shop fit the seams are not exactly in the right place and at times the skirt of his coat has the appearance of tryiiiz to perch on his. shoulder bJaJes. One hears very severe criticisms in the galleries-sometimes. Said a plain-spoken New Yorker , who was sitting beside me during Miller's attack upon .Ingalls , in language more forcible than elegant , "W .irner Miller is a born itssl He can't help being a tool. Evrats has some brains , therefore the bigger fool lie makes of himself sometimes. Ho has more self-conceit to the square inch than any public man in Now 1 ork. The difference between Miller and Evarts is that the senate is twice too large for Evarts ; he lacks the power to fill it. Miller is twice too large for the senate ; it can't nil him. " "Misapplied greatness , " i modestly remarked. "Evan's expects to bo the HBXt nominee for the presidency , " I said , "and is posing to that elloct It would take a stronger electric force than that man pos sesses to send the presidential lightn.ng in that direction " "Will New York ru- eleot Miller ? " 1 asked."N9t br a good deal. There is a smouldering fire ready- to burst out for Conk ling ; ho is our next man or I am no politician. " ' 'Ob , tuen , you belong to the ring , do you ? " " 1 be long to the ring that makes the people circle aA > und a man that will give New York some position in the Unit&d States eonate. Conkling mar have his faults , Uut w wore always proud of him as a statesman and an honest man. " "With all ULS faults , Washlumoa loves Coal-ling still and will bo ready to receive him with open arms , " said I. In the monu- limu Ingalls had rakya over Milter and disappeared in the cloak room. COM. NO ELEPHANTS WANTE D. The Present Condition of the Curi osity .Market. "The elephant market is overstocked. " This is the alarming statement made oa Wed nesday by Dr. Oscar Kohn to a representative - resentative of the New York Times , and the doctor ought to know what he is talk ing abou t. He went into the show busi ness twenty-eight vears ago -with the great and only Barnum , and has had something to do since then with every circus , side show and museum from Port land , Me , to Portland , Ore , and from Lake Ene to the Gult of Mexico. He sat in a small office in the old building at the southeast corner of Broadway , and seemed to be a very busy man. When the reporter first entered the office and asked Lr. ) Kohn whether he had anything new in curiosities , the doctor hung his head in shame as lie replied : "Tiiere is nothing new. It is the same old story. " "Hov about mid animals , " asked the reporter , ' 'arc they in demandi" "Well , " was the answer , "a good lion or tiger is alwavs in demand. " "How about elephants * " The doctor laughed until he was tired. It was then that he said ; "The elephant market is overstocked. " He added : "Why. there are more elephants in this country than showmen know what to do with. Barnum has thirty of them up ? n Central park and he would be glad of an opportunity to sell them. If you want an elephant I can get one for you at a very low figure. " ' How about giraffes t" "Well , it's too bad about giraffes. The poor fellows don't live very long in this country. If one of them should last for two years he would be a rare old bird. I remember when Barnum first purchased four of them. He paid ? 10OvK ) apiece for them nnd they were drowned whi.c on their way to New Orleans. In those davsgiraffes were car ried about in class cases. They are very 'delicate birds , but Barnum drives them about the streets now just the same as though they were elephants. " \ \ here is the tattooed Greeki" "He's stone blind , and is living in Eng land , lie made a great deal of money while hero and hoarded it away. Oh , he was the greatest of them all. Now I can furnish you tattooed men and girls just as fast as you want them. 1 can give yon a wnole regiment of them if you want one " "Where is the two-headed colored woman who \ised to sing in the museum ! " "She is down south on a farm. We can't ptt her out for lees than $000 a week now , " "Whut has become of O'Brien , the Irish giant , who married a giantess in PUtsburgJ" "The giantess gave birth to a young giantess last week. Mother and daugh ter are doing well , and the old man is feeling pretty well himself.1' Then the doctor talked of the other old familiar freaks which had graced the museum from time to time. Some of them are at Coney Island or in the Bow ery , but the majority of them are scat tered over the country. Ills Coal was Delivered at His Door. Buffalo Express : Dennis Keagan is now living in a flat which overlooks the Lack- awannn tracks. Across the street lives an Italian nobleman in reduced circum stances who ekes out his poor existence with the aid of a poor monkey and n worse hand organ. To Garibaldi coincs Dennis one evening and , after passing the time of day , warms up to the subject in hana. 'Av ye plaze , Mislher Garabaldi , " says Dennis in his most unctions and wheed ling tone , "wad ye have any objections to loaniu' me yer munkey fer an hour or two ivry rnonuu * ! " , "What-a for you. want-a mnnkJ" -r in quired the count. * * jf 4'Niyer je niiad , " replied Dennis , ' -i wud ye charge me amornin' fer the use avhimV" The count suggested that 10 cents an hour-would be tne proper figure , after vainly attempting to find out what Den nis was going to datirith the monkey. Dennis Tiaggied and tried to beat the Italian down , but Gtnbaldi wouldn't have it that way , and tne deal was closed at his figure. , Everything went beautifully for a few days. Tne money was paid promptly and the monkey was returned regularly in time not to interfere with the require ments of the count's profession. To be sure the animal looked a little hollow- eyed and care worn , But in the main was in good condition J-mally , however , the Italian's curiosity got the better of his avarice , and he told Dennis that the monkey would not be loaned any more. This announcement had a most depressing effect on Dennis. His megathenan intellect rose to the emergency , tnough , and he proceeded to effect one of those masterly financial coups which dazzle people who are not familiar with the workings of the capital istic mind. "Garrybaldy , " said Dennis , "av ye'11 promise to act square and not give the racket ' I'll after takin' awaj' be ye into pardncrship and gin 3 e half the profits for the use of the munkey. " "All-a right-a , " said the Italian. At this the new partners shook hands , and each took anot her pull ont of the can of beer which Dennis had warily provided to lubricate the negotiations. Then Dennis in his cuetomary lordly manner , put ills arm through the Italian's , and together they sauntered over to the back yard of the house where Dennis lived. "D've see thet ther pole , Garry * " in quired Dennis , pointing to a pole some hfteen feet high , surmounted by a cross piece. The Italian couldn't very well help see ing it , nnd remarked that it was within the range of his vision. "D'ye know phwat ther is beyant the fence * " said Dennis. "Thiin's the rail road thracks. Now , thin , Garry , this is the snap : Eurjy jn the mornin' whin the coal trains begin to come in I jmt the munkey on the pole. The brakesmin is all out on the cars riddy to go up the thnstles. Ivery mother's son of them flings two or three pieces of coal at the munkey. I've laid un tons away in the cellar , and civil a wnn o' thim's hit the munkey yet" EDUCAT10XAU The thirty-fifth annual meeting of the American society for the advancement of sci ence will meet in Btutaio fiom the l&tb to the 24 th of August. A Los Angeles , CaL , ' woman forty years old sells truit an dvAeuibes ! to procure the means with \\uicu to educate herself In muMc , i ; School-teachers are lee numerous for their own welfare this vear on the Pacific coast Over twenty applications have been made for ea-h school in Solaiio county , California , up to date. . The countrv is becoming rich In schools and collejes. Public Opinion ( Washington ) ncnres out that tbe aistincthelywleiiUfio schools number Scj ; manual schools , 123 ; medical colleges. 145 ; Institutions for the higher education ot nvomf n , 281 ; law schools , 57 , There are 310 universities and colleges In the United States , vith OS.S.'i students in at tendance. The Legislature of Ohio has provided for the establishment of an Industrial sehooltor the education of the bilnd in that state. It is not to take the pltoe of tbe asylum In which blind children are Infrtructtxl in the ordinary branches ot education , fthics and music , but is designed to instruct them In meciiaulcal industries that will enabfe them to tarn their o\\n living. As regards tbe effects of electric lighting. esi edsJly upon tbe evca of wbool children. Prof. H. Cohnsajsthat the arc lights , even when surrounded by n "opaque" glass globe , v hich reduces tne light by a ) or more per cent , are hurtrul to Uie ej es ben the latter are exposed for a IOUK time tolls .unerts. lie suggest } tbat the lamp should sal ways be placed &l such an eletation that ' the ej e is not bound Hi IUOK directly into it. SOME SIMILES. Often a Slippery Thlntj to Deal With. Chambers'Journal- child of the past and the parent of the future" is not an unhappy simile for the present. Happiness has been likened to a ghost ; all talk about it , but few , if any , have ever seen it. Ambition's ladder rests against a stai , remarks a clever writer , wno also tells us that a proverb is a short truth sandwiched between wit and wis dom. Eloquence is a coat of many _ colors judiciously blended. No one thing will make a man eloquent. Flatterv has bjca termed a kind ot bad money to which our vanity gives currency. Society , like shaded silk , must be viewed in all situa tions , or its colors will deceive us. Kind ness is the golden chain by which society is bound together , and charity is an angel breathing on riches , while graves have been poetically called the footsteps of angels. Language is a slippery thing to deal with , as some may find when selecting their similes. Savs a writer : "Speak of a man's marble brow , and he will glow with conscious pride ; but allude to his wooden head , and he is mad in a minute. " The young lecturer's "similes were gath ered in a heap" when he expressed the whole body of his argument on deceit in the following : "O , my brethren , the snowiest shirt-front may _ conceal an aching bosom , and the stiffest of all col lars encircle a throat that has many a bitter pill to swallow. " Plagiarists are a species of purlomers who filch the fruit that others have gath ered , and then throw away or attempt to destroy the basket. It has been truly said that the abilities of man must fall short on one side or other , like too scanty a blanket when you are in bed , if you pull it upon your shoulders , you leave your feet bare , if you thrust it down upon your feet , your shoulders are uncovered. The man , we are told , who has not anything to boast of but his illustrious ancestors , is like a potato the only good belonging to him being under ground. A man at dinner in evening dress has been likened to a conundrum ; you can't tell whether he is a waiter or a guest. A Yankee , describing a lean opponent , said"That doesn't man amount to a sum in arithmetic ; add him up and there's nothing to carry " An American critic , in reviewing a poem , said. "The rythm sounds like turnips rolling over a barn fioor , while some lines appear to have been measured \vith a yard-stick and others with a ten-loot pole. " An amusing illustration was given by a parent when asked by his boy , "What is understood by experimental and natural philosophy * " The answer was , * Lnnv one wants to borrow money , thaffls ex perimental philosophy. If the other man knocks him down , that is natural philos ophy. " Curious and comical illustrations seem natural to many children , A little girl , suffering from the mumps , declared she felt as though a headache had slipped down into her neck. "Mamma , " said another joungster , alluding to a man whose neck was a series of great rolls of flesh , "that man's got a double chin on tbe back of his neck. " A little three- year-old , in admiring her baby brother is said to have exclaimed , "He's got a uoiled head , like jiapa " Talking of curious similes among the southern languages of India i the Tejoogoo or Telinga , so rough in pronun ciation that a traveler of tire nation speaking it before a ruler of llokhara , admitted that its sound resembled "the tossing of a lot of pebbles in a sack. " A simile for scarlet stockings is fire-hose laughter is the sound you hear when your hat blows off and trying to do business without advertising is said to bo "like winking at a girl in the dark. " An un- pofctieal Yjinkee has described ladies'lips as the glowing gateway of beups , port , sau'trknTct and potatoes. This would provoke Merryat'sexclamation of , ' 'Such a metaphor I never met afore. " Much more complimentary was the old darky's neat renly to a beautiful voung lady whom he Offered to lift over the gutter , nnd who insisted she was too heavy. "Lor , missy , " said he , "I'sc used to lift ing barrels of sugar. " Wit from a man's mouth is like a mouse in n hole ; yon may watch the hole all day , and no mouse come out ; but by-and-by , when no one is looking for it , out pops the mouse and streams across the parlor. Marrying a woman for money , says a philosophe'r , is very much like setting a rat-trap and baiting it with your own finger. An American writer says : "A man with one idea always put me in mind of an old goose trying to hatch out a paving fctnne. " An editor's simile of man's career is summed up in the line : "Mac's a vapor full of woes , and starts a paper , busts , and coes. " We all recollect how tne Bath waters were associated in 'U elltr's mind with the "flavor of warm.flatiron3."j.T.he humor ist who created that character was often reminded of a printer's parenthesis by the appearance of a bow-legged child ; and tne elongated pupils of a cat's eyes _ before a bright light were likened by him to "two notes of admiration. " Kin ? LutUvljj's Bedchamber. Correspondence London News : It is divided into two parts by means of a golaen balustrade , the back part being rounded. Here the king's bed stands on a raised dais , up to which lead five broad steps , covered with ruby velvet , on which are embroidered large golden suns. The bed is of guilt bronze , a work of art as we meet it once in a lifetime , It is cov ered with a counterpane of gold cloth , embroidered in colors , the centre rep resenting King LouisXIY without his wig a large emerald on his breast , a sapphire in his hair. The bed is surmounted by a canopy of gold , with"a high crown of gold in the center and four enormous bunches of white plumes at the four cor ners ; from the canopy descend the cur tains , to examine which a lover of art will devote several weeks. The outside is ruby velvet embroidered in gold , BO that of the ground color scarcely any thing is peen ; the inside is covered from top to bottom by pictures from the Bible at first sight the product of the minia ture painter's brush , but on close inspec tion the. triumph of the needlewoman's skill. The center of the background is occupied by a sun embroidered in diamonds and pearls. The walls of the room are entirely hung with red velvet embroidered in gold , the children holding garlands of flowers Deiug to soiid that a real baby held to the wall cannot stand out from it more boldly than do these works of the needle On one side of the bed , within the space confined by the golden balustrade , is the washing stand , a tall mirror in gold arabesques , the table ol inai ble supported bypilt orcnze figures the basin , ewer and ven vases in gilt Jbronze of a size that would astonish c\en a giant , nnd of a boautv tnat it is impossible to describe. The other fcide of the bed is taken up by a prayer stool in ruby gold-embroidered velvet. the back ground filed by a St. Michael in colors , of such splendid workmanship that the original by the miniature painter , upon nhicb the stitches were worked , must be less beautiful , Above the prayer stool thera is tiny altar with a copy of Ha- phael's "Annuziata , " which , with the prayer book it adorned , was sold by the P&rugiun family that had owned it since Itaphael s time to the empress of Russia , who in bor turn lent it to King Louit , one of the great favorites in the years that preceded r.er illnoss. In low * , when n omnwercisl UmrUt Jr ) lus crlpfcaek in a holoJ of a protiiMtiua town , u LrJu Mhiek IUMII dkl yousJi ) 1 could ftiwl > uy li/Uenf . "I will ' Moxv you uiyei . " sn > i tbe lin'Jlori , &s They I i up tUiri. THE INVENTOR OF THE LIFEBOAT * Struggles and Success or Joseph j Frauds Ail * * " ' 'V" " * Old JUan.r " * Joseph Francis , who became famous as the inventor of the h rst practical life-snv- ing car and whose Cervices congress pro posed to recojrnize witii a gold medal , says the New York Tribune , has lived for many years at the Stevens house in lower Broadway. He is a cheerful old gentle man of 80. His gray hair is smoothed carelessly over his square ample brow , while his gray mustache and small im perial give a pleasing expression to his mouth. His pale blue eyes twinuJt be- ueath shaggy eyebrows and beam to everybody and everything with merry cheerfulness , as if he were on good terms with the whole world He wear old- fashioned broadcloth trousers sutd an old fashioned collur encircles hie throat. He lives quietly and modestly , and many had forgotten that he still lived until the chamber of commerce called the fact to the attention of congress lat fall , and urged that the services of this venerable inventor be fitly recognized Mr. Francfs began "the study of lifesaving - saving methods wnen he read about t < r- rible shipwrecks in his school days. When only eleven years of ago he made a small boat with compartments in tbe bow and stern.which he filled with blocks of cork. He was almost beside himself when he filled the boat with water , and found that not only did it not fcink but that it floated with four men in it. It was the lirst real lifeboat built in the country. He improved uuon this and sent his invention to the Massachusetts mechanic's institute and received a re ward. It was the first bit of public en couragement that the boy inventor had received , and then men of brains arid money became interested in him. In 1 ° 25 he made a lifeboat with air cham bers along the side in addition to the ' cork compartments of the bow and stern , * When he launched it it struck the water 1 heavily and went down out of sight. It came up again instantly and right side up , and several men got into it , but were unable to upset or sink it. He then took the boat to Philadelphia , to exhibit it , but England was the first to order two boats of this pattern for service on the Canada coast. Orders tncn poured in for life boats of tbe same pattern , and ho re ceived orders from the emperors of Bra zil and Russia for state barges. Frasicis continued his experiments , find in 188S perfected a covered life-car for taking people from n wreck to the there on n naw&er. This was made of wpofl , and when he found that it could not with stand the banging on rock * and ledges ho set to work to build one of iron , un < ! got a patent on his successful invention in 1643. He tried to get the secretary of the treasury to take an interest in the in vention , but the official gave him no more than if " . encouragement Jrfp .new fangled contrivance" WAS found success ful at a wreck on th.e New Jersey coast the governaient wouJd then look into it. Francis was not disheartened , hut took his boat to the Jersey coast and waited till the Btrandmj : of the British ship Ayr shire in a furious storm on Jan. 12 , IH.TO. She had 20-3 people on board , and after the life-savers had secured a haw r to her the life car was sent out Its lirst trip brought five persons to the shore. Within the next two hours even body save one man was lended on the beach. This one man jumped on the.oAr as it w g le u ing the ship and was etvcnt < n er- board by a tea. This success niaue Fian- cia well known. Shortly alterward ho gave n * .peoial exhibition of his Jiff-ear on the Seine before the Emperor Njirol- con , who knighted hui ] nnd a\r > him a gold snuff-box , nhicli pore tha imperial initial and a crown sat in blue cnunul and bluddod with QteUty-slx diamonds. He was also honoinu wiUi medals and diplomas of merit from other crowned hands , md whan he rotunidd home the government had adopted his life-car and pontoon wagon * .