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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 1, 1886)
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY , AUGUST 1 , 1S80.-TWELVE PTTT T * T OUTAnniO nntMTf rf.STILL AT SWORDS POllNTb , The House and the Ssnnto Continue to Dis agree on Important Measures. MORE CONFERENCES ORDERED. U'ho Hlvcr mid ilnrhor Hill , the Sur plus Itosoliitton mill the Kortlfl- Appropriation Don't Bull thu House. The llon.ec Proceedings. oN , , luly nt. The house 10- suuied consideration of the conference re- poll on liver and hmhor bill , .Mr. Hatch of Missouri , rising to anoint of order , sent to the cleik's desk and had read the Instructions Riven to the conference com mittee by the house relative to the llennepln canal , Sturgeon bay , Portage lake and other clauses of the river nnd Imthor bill. The poliitofordcrthatliciiiadowasth.it Ihc re- 'port of thcconfcrcnco committee was In direct violation ot every single instruction given by the house , and thciefore was not In older nnd should not bo received. Air. Hatch raised the question of consideration against the report - port , but the house 111 to 'Jt decided to con sider It. Mr.Vllllsof Kentucky , a member of Ihccon- fcrcnco committee , said that ho had declined to sign thu report because ho honestly bollovcd that If It weio ratified by the house , It would not only be the end of this bill but the cud ot every river nnd harbor bill In the future. Ho appealed to every friend or livers and har bors to vote down this conference report. If that were done before sitnspt to-day there would bo another report free from objection- nblo features. The honso then yens , 1U ; nays , 133 re fused to agree to the report of tlm conference committee , and niion motion of Mr. Willis thu house further Insisted upon its disagree ment to the senate amendment , und a further conference wns ordered. Mr. Kandall of Pennsylvania , from the committee on appropriations , reported the joint resolution extending until tlio 10th of August the provisions of the joint resolution providing temporarily for thu expenditures Of the government. He asked for Its liiiino. dlato consideration , but Mr. lltecouk objected nnd the resolution was not received. Mr. L'ayson of Illinois , trom thn committee on public lands , reported back the alien land lord hill. It provides that no non-resident , alien or lorelgnc-r. nor any resident alien or > foreigner who has not declared his intention to become a citizen of the United States , nor any corporation nor association , where at most one-tenth of Its stock or right of prpit- erty Is owned or controlled by aliens ur for- clgnorH , shall acquire or own , hold or possess landed estates by right of title or descent ac- .crulng herealtfir , either in tlio stales or terri tories of the United States ; provided , that . the provisions of this act shall not apply to Tealentato necessary for tlio construction and operation of any railroad. The bill passed yeas , 'JOU ; nays , 0. Tim speaker announced the appointment of Messrs. lleasran , Urlsy and Weaver of Nebraska as conferees on the lutcr-stato commerce bill ; also the appointment of Messrs. Willis , Hluiichard and Henderson of Illinois as conferees on the river and harbor bill. bill.Sir. . Itlanchard asked that under the cir cumstances the house' would excuse him from acting as n conferee. Ills colleague ( Henderson ) also desired to bo excused. The Kentlumon were excused , and Messrs. Willis , Glover and Markham were appointed con ferees. On motion of Mr. Morrison the senate amendment to the surplus joint resolution was non-concurred In and a conference ordered. The speaker appointed Messrs Morrison. Urcckenrldgo and lllscock as con- forces. Mr. Forney of Alabama from the committee- on appropriations reported back the fortitica- \ \ appropriation \ bill witli the senate amend- . incuts , with thu recommendation that all the amendments bo non-runciirrud In , Mr. Butterworth of Ohio moved that the house recede from its agrenment to ' the amendment establishing a plant at Frank- l'ort arsenal , Philadelphia' . .rending action tlio house adjourned. Proceedings of the Senate. WASHINGTON , July 31. The senate took np Mr. Hoar's resolution from the library committee- for the appointment ol a commit tee to Inquire Into the expenditure of and plan for celebrating thu hundredth anniver sary of tlio constitution and the four hun dred tli of the discovery of America. Mr. llawley spoke of the efforts of certain gentlemen , who , by pamphlets and other wise , were Industriously pressing a plan for ngrcat International exposition on some of the public grounds In Washington , with the Idea of erecting expensive buildings which were to be permanent. It was a question whether the manufacturing and business In terests of the country were prepared for It. Ho had not the slightest idea that they wore. No permanent exposition of such n character had ever been anything but a disastrous fail ure. Ho wanted to have the Initiatory move ment guarded so that the government would not bo committed to It. Mr. Hoar declared that the purpose of the 'resolution was absolutely free from commit ting the government to anything. After moro debate the resolution was mod ified , at the suggestion of Mr. llawley , so ns to direct the committee of seven , of whom ono Dhall be Iho presiding ollieer of the senate , to "consider the expediency of properly cele brating , ot the capital of the republic , these two Illustrious anniversaries : and If said cel- cbrutlon shah bo deemed expedient , shall re port on the method , cost and general plan thereof ut the next session of congress , " It Was then adopted yeas , -11 , nays , 1'J. Mr. Kvarts asked leave to oiler a resolution requesting the president to open coimspund- unco with the principal commeiclal pnwersof Kuropo with n view of ascertaining their es timate ot tlio euVct now operating upon thu commercial exchange and the values of com modities therein exchanged , by the Krcat fall 'In silver bullion and the disuse oC free silver eolnasi ) , with data , progressively , from the demonetization of silver -Germany , In 3 7J ; ulKo , to ascertain by such correspond ence whether such powers , or any of thorn , are disposed , separately or with others. cither with or without thu United States , to engiigo , either by domesliu regulation i. or International convention , In any move- h inunttowaids the restoration of the parity between gold and silver In full function as Intiliihlc money upon a ratio to be established by law , and to lay inch correspondence bo- , foie congress at its next session. He said that ho would next Monday ask the sen a tote to consider the resolution , and would accoin- I pauytho request with some brief observa- , r lions. Ouleied printed and laid over till 1 Jlonday. i The select committee on the proposed cele bration of Iho one hundredth anniversary of 1 the constitution In mi , and the four linn- * ilredth of the discovery of America in IBM , I , wiisimnoiineed. It consists of Messrs. Shcr- li man , Hoar. So well , Uawloy , Voorhoes , Oor- ' man and Kustls , The conference commcttce on the surplus resolution was also announced as Messrs. Alllfon , Aldrlch and lii-ck. Un motion of Mr , ICustls the senate took up the house hill to itmend thu laws as to the niodeof packtugnnd selling cut tobacco. Ho add uissed tha senate In favor of tlm hill. .Mr. Aldrlch moved Its recommittal to the committee on tluunce , as It was charged Ih.u the bill would open the door to great frauds. The bill was lecommllted. Then the senate went into secret session. rourth Auditor Charles M. Shelly , of the treasury department , and Surveyor Finnan i. of Hun Francisco , were confirmed , B- The nomliiaUon of Captain lieeclier , son of Henry Ward needier , to bo collector of cus toms of Port Townsend , WoMiliuton terri tory , wni > brouaht up at 5 o'clock and Messrs. joljili and Mitchell made long speeches jigutnst his confirmation. .Messrs. llawloy I ? . -mid Kvarts defended him. Thu civsa was It po tiHiiiod till Monday and when the doors 1 1 leopuncil the senate adjourned. TJto town of Windsor , N , Y. , 1ms an over- Ecerof the poor who Is very watchful of the Interests of tlio taxpayers. A few days ago. learning that a man who , with a fiunlly , had J'lcqiuuit'y ' been a town charge , ana lor whom thu town has buried at least onn wife , was * boul to innrry apilu , thn overseer published the following notice ; "Learning that - r - Is about to marry again , 1 hereby no tify all portions corn'onied that tl > e town of Windsor does not propose to c.uo for or bury uuy uioro ot hU wives. " A MJOKY ACCIDENT. A Train Dcrnlleil Near Wlsner With out Serious Kcsults. XOKPOI.K , Neb. , July ill. [ Special Tele gram to the lhi : : . ] The west bound passen ger train on the Klkhorn line , duo hero at 3 p. m. , was ditched near Wisner , all but the sleeper going on" the track. It was reported tlmt n number of persons \\eie Injured , nnd Dr. Hear went down from here. Also a quantity of lee wa < lakcn. From Dr. Bear , who has lust returned , It Is learned that the accident was nntn serious one. The only man hurt was Kxprcss Messenger lloncc , nnd ho would not have been Injured hud he not jumped Ironi his car. receiving a badly Hpralned ankle. At the scene of the accident , about a mile east of Wisner , tlio tr.ick was being relayed with Htcel rails and the work men had withdrawn anumbcrof spikes , when thetraln came upon them. The endue went over all rluht , but the track spread and all the cars but the sleeper went elf without over turning. A big lorco wns put at woik. and In lour hours the train moved west all rli-lit. Quite n heavy iiiln fell hero this evening. A VnitiiK Man Suicides. FmMo.\-r , Neb. , July 31. [ Special to the Hin.l : .John Peavy , n young Jinan nineteen years old , committed suicide here to-day. Ho was working for James F. Hanson , who lives about three-quarters of n mile south of the city , and shot himself In Mr. Hanson's barn , lie Intimated to Mrs. Hanson that he was going to take his life , and she hastened to a neighbor's to inform them of the cir cumstances. The rcKirt | of his revolver was soon heard , and lie was lust breathing his last whoa they arrived. No cause can be as signed for the nut. First Haiti in Forty Days. Kxr.Tnit , Neb. , July 31. [ Special Telegram to thd Uii : : | A heavy rain fell this evening for an hour , and there are good Indications of more. This Is the lirst rain In town and south ot town for forty days , except slight shower.s _ _ _ _ _ A Woman'sSuicide. . Cr.nAit li.vi'ms , Neb. , July 31. [ Special Telegram to llie IJKi'.J Mrs. Robert Warren committed suicide at the Paclllc house hero last night by taking poison. The cause of thu trouble Is not definitely known. Farmers Are Happy. PAI.MYIIA , Neb. , July 81. [ Special Tele gram to the UEK.J A good rain , the lirst for a month , fell to-day. The proipects for corn nro good , and farmers are happy. IMSiMMOKMlN'J.1 DUOPS. A scienllst says that ducks are largo eaters. This fellow must keep an ice-cream saloon. "Say , are you a fortune teller ? ' * "Yes , miss , that's my business. " "You can read thu future , can ynuV "As clearly as i can read the past. " "Well , I'll bring around my future1 to-morrow. I want you to read him , so I can tell If his ulTectlon is sincere. " Fits are not a contaclous thing , but the nmrrled man whose mother-in-law lives with him often catches 'em. A perfectly red snake was recently seen nt Niagara Falls. What kind of paint the mil who saw him had been imbibing is not stated. Prohibition Is not proving very successful In Rhode Island , as the state is so small that a man can sit on his back porch with a rjo straw and suck a mint julep right out the state of Massachusetts. It would never do to employ a woman as a drug clerk. She might handle tlio ar&onlc and the pills all right , but it ! a man winked at her for his tavorlto soda water syrup there is danger that she would climb right over the counter after him. Every ono must feel almost sorry for that bearded lady who Is frequently taken for a man ns for tnn effeminate man who Is fre quently taken fora bearded lady. A Minneapolis milkman died the other day from drinking tlio milk from his own dairy. Water on the brain wns what knocked him out , according to the physician's certificate. A shrewd boarding house keeper always likes her young men to belli love. They live so steadily on toothpicks. A man never finds out what a sweet crea ture his wife is until ho has mistaken her for the hired girl and kissed her In the dark. Somebody says that the odor of fresh paint may bo removed from a room by placing a saucer of ground r.olleo in the apartment. Now wo understand why it Is a man gener ally chows ground coffee when he is painting the town red , ' 1 desire , " said Miss Esmcralda Longcoflln , cnteilne a mimic store on Austin avenue , "to purchase a piece of music tor my little brother , who plays oif the piano. " "Here. Miss , is precisely what you want for 50 cunts. " ' 'Only ' 50 ccntsV Why , he's much further advanced than that , for last month ho played a piece worth 75 cunts. Haven't you anything for S1.25V" Smith Have you forgotten that $20 I loaned you , Brown ? Jlfown No , indeed. I've made a note ot It. Smith Well , If you cannot give mo the cash I'll take the note. The iJtirlincton Free Press says It becrlns "to suspect that congress has a Waloibury movement , it takes so long to wind up the session. " There are two things In this life that can bo depended upon to stick. A porous plaster and a stylographlc pen. Now that creased trousers nnd rough-edged paper aru fashionable , the only thing needed to complete the editor's happiness Is a craze for frayed cuffs. An Alabama man recently divorced from his wife died trom grief over the separation. Ho Is supposed to have been overcome while endeavoring to sow on a suspender button. Hank presidents , ns n rule , are opposed to silver dollars. They don't want them In the bank. There Is a reason for this. A bank ollieer going suddenly to Canada couldn't carry silver dollars enough with him to last Him a week. The saddest and In many respects the most distressing result of prohibition In Iowa takes the form of a report that a distillery there has been converted Into a piano manufactory. The gain In this Instance Is small , indeed. What may have bean only n local nuisance now becomes tlio bane ot households all over the state. Sam Jones says : "I do hate nprosolytcr as I liato the devil. " "Troublu In the Choir" Is the headlne la a religious paper. lieon trying some of that festival Ice cream we suppose. A Heading , Pa. , judge has decided that shoving M a necessity , nml that It Is losral on any day of. the week. Sunday Included. A Sunday school paper was giving a lesson on Until. She wanted to brlim out the kind ness of lloaz In commanding the reapers to drop largo handfuls of wheat. "Now , chil dren , " she said , "JJuuz did another kind thing for Huth. Can you tell mo what U was ? " "Married her , " Bald ono of the irlrls. A minister was taking dinner at Brown's house , and Brown was lelllni : him about a line ploco of property hn had recently pur chased. "My dear Mr. Brown , " said the mlnlbter , "you have received goodly gifts from Providence. You have much to bo tlnmkfiil for , 1 trust that you are contented with your lot. " "O , yes " replied Brown , his mind still on real estate , "It's a first-class lot. Biilldlns a house on the pesky thing Is what bothers mo now. " The preacher was sllnnt for some minutes. A New Yorker was asking after a Wiscon sin county treasurer who defaulted threa or tour years ago , and was answered , "Oh , the people have concluded to drop the case. " " 1'Volsorry for him , eh ? " "Wull , you Bee , ho used $ .3,000 of the funds to speculate on. Had he won he was calr.iilatlng on buying bolls lor throe churches. You can't really EO back un n man whoso zeal for the Lord allowed Chicago cage to uet tlio bulge on him. " Texas Slftlngs "Do you expect to be re warded hereafter fur the good deeds done In tills life ? " nskod on Austin Sunday school teacher. " 1 don't expect miflln. myself , but pa expected to bo icwarrtcd with the post- otllee for voting for Cleveland. Ho says no'll know better next time there's a presldeutlaj election. " Sam Jones seems mystified over the fact that while a minister may get but S5UO sala ry a year n ba ball pitcher vets 85,000. There is no mystery about It ; the pitcher simply has HIP best delivery , Tha llttlo boy , who pot off the following , hit the nail on tlio head exactly : "Tommy , If you area good boy this wcuk 1 will lake you to Iho park un Sunday. " "Oh. mammal liow good you are } But let us take tv low neck carriage , so I can sue everything. ' " AMIOUS FOR ADJOURNMENT , Big Legislative Boys Blaming Each Other' ' Tor the Prolonged Session , HOW CONGRESSMEN EVOLUTES Dark Outlook Tor Indian I/aml Pay ments Tlic Sctmto ntul tlio Mor risen Surplus Timber Cul ture Ae-t CuttltiK'sCase. KcniUo mid House llroll. July JJ1. ( Special Telc- Rrnm to the OKI : ] Senators and representa tives arc In a , broil over the nitjoiirnincnt question. Tlie democrats In tlio house nro nrctislng Senator Kdinunds nnil other ropub- lleans In the senate with delaying adjourn- incut nml republicans In both houses are lay ing the s.inie charge against Mr , Itandall. It Is very probable congioss will adjourn on Tuesday or Wednesday nest. Senator Alli son so Informed the BIF. : correspondent to night. Everybody Is anxious to get away. It Is patent tint no nime legislation can be enacted. Only tlio sundry civil appropriation Is necessary to be completed to make congress - gross ready for adjournment , and the con ference committee will work upon It all day to-morrow , If necessary. Congressmen , ns a rule,1 arc in no condition to feign the work of icpalrlng fences as soon as they get home. When tlio very hot wave struck the house In the middle of the week , members hung limp In tlielr seats and not even the excitement of n closing week could nronso In them inoro than a languid Interest. TltU UVOI.UTIO.V OP CONGUliSSMEN" through the various periods pt a session Is Interestlnc to observe. At the beginning they nro stlir-bnckcit niut energetic. They nro very anxious ( particularly now members ) to do something.Vhcn the height of tlio social season strikes them they begin' to think less of legislation , and frequently fall asleep In day time. About Raster time they "swear oil" and begin to rclorm , turning their attention to accomplishing something that will please their constituents and secure their rcnoinlnation. When hot weather comes upon them with their work still mi- donu they becomu demoralized and dcsper- nto , but their llrst energetic movement melts their collar , and they collapse and bccomo utterly indifl'ereiit , ready to accept fate and prav for an early adjournment. Tills Inilll- leronce llrst appears in their attitudes and In their dress. During the past week the house reached that .stage of utter abandonment. The most fastidious became utterly inditfer- out as to their personal appearance , and hardly a man could be seen wrltlm : at his desk , Half the house had on their cheap otllco coats , more or less mussed and wrinkled from being lolled In. Black tilapnca and striped seersucker coats of cheap quality nro most worn , and somu of them arc to wrinkled that they seem to have been shrivelled up by hot weather. Fans aru not usually carried bv members , but u few have reached that point when they resort even to this feminine nrtilico for keeping cool. THK OTOE AND OMAUA. LANDS. It was reported yesterday that it was the intention of the commissioner ot Indian af fairs to oppose the bill which was sent some days ace to the president extending the time in which settlers on the Utoe and Omaha In dian reservations may pay Interest and prin- cinal for the purchases and that lie would recommend Us veto. This morning Hcpro- sentativo Dorsey had a lonz Interview with Indian Commissioner Atkins and found that that oflicial was very sensitive over the fact that congress had ignored his recommenda tions , aiid the failurein the bill to forfeit land ami containing tlio consent of ihc In dians. Mr. Dorsey went through the matter with Commissioner Atkins and the law clerk of the interior deuortment and finally the commissioner agreed to recommend favora bly the bill with the understanding that ho will not npprovn butapposc furtoer extension of time for payments. Senator Van Wyck has also been active in behalf of this bill. To-day ho called upon President Cleveland to bco what would bo dona with the bill but tlio president would make no promises nnd Paid ho would wait tor tlio recommendation of the commissioner of tlio ueneral land ollicc. The Nebraska de legation has hopes that the bill will be ap proved , or bo permitted to become a law without the president's signature. anovuits MAIIIIIAOI : CEUTIFICATJ : . President Cleveland's marriage certilicato will , when it is finished , be a very Interesting document. It tests on a bed o blue velvet In an alligator portfolio about twelve inches long and eight inches wide. In the upper let t hand corner of the certificate is a very pretty picture of the white house , drawn bv that eminent artist , O. L. I'rndcn , thepresi dent's assistant secretary. The certliicate Issued by Dr. SunderlanU and In the port folio Is now being sent around to all who were piesent at the wedding that they may sign It as witnesses. Several of the members ot the cabinet and members of their families. who saw the wedding , have already signed It Postmaster General Vilas" signature went on U to-day. The general Impression seems to be that tlio honso will bo ndvlsod by the ways and means committee not to agree to the scnnto amendments to the Morrison resolution for reducing the surplus in the treasury. The senate has made tlio limit of the reserving fund S2ii,000,000 higher than the house , but that that will not bo the main point of dis agreement , which Is in relation to the amend ment glvlm : tlio executive authorities discre tionary power in tlio premises. Mr. Morrison nnd his friends- naturally consider this a mil- lillcation of the entire resolution. THK TitoiTiiutsojn : TUAHR nou.Ait. The amendment providing for the retire ment of the trade dollar Is not In the Interest of justice and common sense , and on that account many will hope that the resolution will pull through. There are several million trade dollars in circulation , or rather out of circulation , and those who hold them are in manv cases poor people , who took them Inno cently , and who are unnblu to pass them , al though intrinsically the "trades" are worth more Hum the "blizzard * . " The government Issued trade dollars and the government omjht to redeem them Is the way statesmen hero generally think. TIIH TIMI1I5I1 ACT IlEI'RAr * It is learned to-day that an entire disagree ment exists between tlio committee of confer ence on the senate amendments to tlio bill repealing the pre-emption timber culture nnd desert land laws. The honso conferees are \vllllntr to concede to the extent of validating entries , however fraudulent , to the extent of S-'o acres , provided the lands have been sold to bona lido settlers ; also that the rules In force at tlio Interior department at the time such entries are made snail apply to those en tries. The senate con forces , however , refuse to concur In this proposition. The section of the senate bill allowing cosh entries of offered land Is ropudlatod prcomntorlly by thn honso conferees , but the other differences c.ould not bo adjusted If the points above named were reconciled. It looks as If this condition ot disagreement would cause the bill to fall nt this present session. MKMOA.V HKVOI.tmoMSTS. The Texas members and the delegates trom Now Mexico and Arizona confirm a press dispatch from Denver published In the ovcning papers to the olfcct tliat the Chihua hua authorities will brook no Interference from the Mexican federal administration , not evnn from President Diaz nnd that therefore Cutting will bo sentenced to imprisonment and carried to Cliihii.ihua to servo his term. Tlic.se gentlemen say that tlio Mexican states are in a constant revolution and care noth ing for tlielr federal authorities , claiming that such offenses are beyond the luttor's con trol. AITOUJTHIJ. The following Nebraska postmasters | were appointed to-day : \ \ ' . U. Wood , Clinton , Sherman county , vice A. J. ( inro. resigned ; A. A. Urchin , Dnnbury , Itod Willow county , vice Frederick tHouut , resigned ; ( Jcorgo Fos ter. Foster , Pierce county , ylco E. C. smith , resigned ; William Liamloy , Ylnton , Valley county , vice J. N , Woodbury , resigned. BHAKEHI J3AUia MANGLED. How a Scene From "Julius Ctcsar" was Acted In Now York. A tragic scene , nt which the on-lookors laughed ns loudly as their lungs or breed ing would penult , wns witnessed In the Bijou opera house yesterday afternoon , saya tlio New York World. Tlio affair was a benefit to Stage Maunder James G Scanlan , and along bill -was ottered to a largo audience. Most of the prominent professionals now in the city had thpir on Uie programme for something. or other. The eutortjunment proceeded Binoothly through Iwo'long parts ilown to .tho Hnal act of tin ) Afternoon , when the troublu began. li'liu-wecno upon which the curtain rose wo * Bitch n pardon sot ns yoU look upon Mile waiting for tlio appearance of.n pair of fancy clog- ilancora or a couplif ; of sorio-comics , but more than tho"garden wis : there. At the buck n small , rude platform was raised , and ranged on cither side from tlio drop down -to the tormentor were two dozen queen-looking citizens , with white sheets thrown over their shoulders , rovcaling dark suits of modern cut be neath , and in sumo instances trousers with the legs rollqd up , White bandages crossed their forhmuln , nnd all held su pers' spears. The scene wns intended to represent the oldHoinnu forum in " .Ju lius Ca'iar. " nnd tlio gentleman in linen regalia were meant to personate Koinan citl/cns. Do Wolf Hopper , in high white hat and with a Bowery tilt , led the "gang , " na ho termed it. They were quite noisy when the scene opened , but Hopper commanded silence and the up roar ceased. "Say , you follows , " the lender of the mob marked , "sliutup , JJoro comes llnitio up de lane an' ho IOOKS like ho wes load ed wid a a big speech , Let's ' give him a rccep. ' ' The mob accorded Brutustbn reception nsho waltzed in nmt the house joined them , for Brutus was nt oncu identified ns llohiml Keetl , the comedian , disguised ia a tight-lilting bntlimg-siiit , with roller- skates on and nebs on his ankles and knees as largo an watermelons. Ho ns- ccnded the rostrum with firm tread nnd haughty mien. Then with an airy ami graceful wave of his right bund and a smile that a man could nave borrowed t on. he said to the mob in chipper tones : ' 'Ah. ' there. " "Stay thorn ! " shouted the mob with all the vigor of their lungs. Brutus bowed and smiled again , nnd then began his speech. Ho told the Homan gathering that ho had slainCtusur , not because Ctusar was ambitious , but because - cause Ciosnr had stolen his gags , whereat the 'Homan citi/on , shrieked "Hats ! " Ho proceeded , notwithstanding various interruptions such as "Chceso it , " ' 'That don't ' go , " otc , until he reached the In terrogatory part of Ids address when he said : "Is there one among you so base as to cat oysters during a month that has no 'r1 in it ? If so , let him answer , for him have lou'ended. Is there any so rude as to call his ereat-gnimlniother a slouch ? If there is , lot him stop forward. Is there one bore who dares deny that 'Humbug' is tlio greatest comedy o"f the ngeV" Striking a proud and dcJiant attitude , Brutus looked straight across the scene at Do Wolf Hopper. Then relaxing his se verity of pose ho put his hand over the top of his shirt and drew from his bosom a ci gar. Taking a mutch from his belt ho scratched it into Hume against the solo of his sandal and calmly lighted his cigar. Folding his arms again , pufling away with evident relish of the weed for a minute or so , folding liis arms once more and setting back on his lift leg , he assumed an atti tude of cxpoctanoyrwJiinh ho explained by remarking in the fttngifiigo of the text : "i for . * " ! > i pause a reply.-1- - While lie was paifsind' ' Iark Antony , in the person' of Franfcis Wilson , comedian , swagguied in withA yellow shirt on , dusty-lookinp hosiery , and a pair ot arctic overshoes. Ho wanteilno know when he was to come on. The Ionian mob rushed him oil'the scene , , iind ; his untimely ap pearance was apologized for by Urutus wiio said , "Mark wasn't accustomed to the legitimate. " ' 'Subsequently ' Urutus , after looking at his-watch and saying that he was sorry lie liadn't'hiorotimo pointed into the wmgs and- said : ' 'Hero comes thu bier. " 'llie mob iihmcdiutuly made a C9iicerted rush in tltji direction indi cated , but Urutus rpliU'them it was not re-rtf beer ' only Caj.sir.V3bier ; and they fell bao'k , ( lisgustcil-with tlio falsa alarm. Tlio bier was drawn by four pail-bearers wearing grotesque heads. Mark Antony accompanied tlio cortege amlj began his speech , with Urutus standing in the wings disguised as a cit.iy.en. When Murk said : Friends , Romans , country men , "Urutus liissod"Clicslnnts , " through his teeth , and had to bo removed. When Mark said ho had come ' 'to bury Ciusar , not to praise him , " Robert I'razor , tlio clown ; wfco was likewise the corpse , attired in motley , rose from the bier and made a kick , but tiie mob prevailed on him to return to Ids couch and be a good corpse. When Mark said in irony that Urutus was anhonpr.iblu man the mob protested with "Nixoy. " Then Mr. Antony was rash enough to venture upon the cause of Ciesar's death , and said that if Cicsar had stolen Urutus' gags ho had been sufficiently punished vnd there was no necessity for slaying him. Uruttis , who heard the assertion , stopped forward .and characterized it as "sarcasm , " with the accent on the asm. Murk came down from the ros trum to lling the insinuation back in Urutus1 teeth Friends in the mob restrained them from eating cacli other , ami while they were making desperate elTbrls to get at each other Ctesar's corpse , which had been lying cpzily on its right side on the bier winking com ically at the leader of the orchestra , bounded to its feet and said that as no harm had been done it forgave both , and wound up by giving them the usual dra matic benediction : "Ulcss you , my child ren , bless you. " Can-can music ensued , and as the cur tain foil Urutus and Mark Anthony were doing some tall kicking and the Roman mob were joining m a shindig. " "Isn't It heavenlyy laoulated Miss Gush , In reference to Miss Pedal's performances on the piano. , 'Yes , " replied Fogg , "It Is In deed heavenly. It sounds like thunder. " There was an exciting scene In n Sunday school at Lcwlstun. Mo. , recently. A mouse came from a crack in the llnor and climbed up to the superintendent's desk. Several ladies tainted , and a panic seemed likely , when some one picked up n bible and let It drop on the daring llttlu rodent killing It In stantly , and then the services were resumed. "Children I" spoke the Sunday school superintendent , nttorhohad finished reading tin1 story of Jacob's ladder , "I will answer any question you may deslro to ask about this remarkable dream of Jacob's ladder. " \Vell , sir , " asked a .little boy , what good was a ladder when tha angles nail wines1 'lhIs seemed to bo aCpObur , nnd the good superintendent to gain ( time pointed to another lad , nnd said : "James can answer that question ? " Un popivd the little follow and quickly answered : "I guess mebbo the angels was a moultln.'c- ? Auction. Wo will sell at publicinuction on Mon day , August 2d , at If ) o'clock a. in , , the entire line of Ilbusouold goods and kitchen furniture a. ( , , Jsro. 101-1 Webster Btrccs , , i .8 All will be sold without reserve , gat A , W. COWAN & Co. . Auctionncrs. For'inpift. 1 bedroom with g'ds ftiiu batli for gen tlemen , Corner StMury's ave , and 20th st. First brick residence. Dr. Hamilton Warren , Uoleutio Physi cian and Surgeon , Room 0 , Crounso block corner loth and Capitol avenue Day and night calls promptly attontod to Kratkz park , S. 18th , Sunday , August 1st , Kendall & Coognn , the great cele brated athletes , will again appear in their open air performance , ' Don't fail to see them. The Bible Society has Bibles for sale cheap. Depository In Y. M. C. A. rooms. Tlie i'eoplo On South 10th street feel quite sore that the "Boston Dry Goods. " store is going to be closed out to quit business. JOHN LINDKUIIOLH , CIO South 10th street. WOMAN'S ' INVENTIVE POWER , Her Pluck Under Atlvorso Circum stances , Panic and Fortune In Hith erto UntrodiloiiVnys Instances of Managerial Capability In tlio Sex. Philadelphia Record : It is somewhat remarkable that in the faoo of the fact that hundreds of thousands of tlio women of our land are self-supporting , and that perhaps hi.lf of the number of self-sup- porting women nro the solo breadwinners ners of ( heir families , there nro Mill men of acknowledged Intelligence who cling to the theories as to woman's "sphere. " The "sphere , " as they are pleased to un derstand it , is bounded by the homo , and her duties within it comprise little else than Iho service she can render man in tlio capacity of wife , mother and house keeper. Some of llicso male fanatic ? , for I can think of no other name so np- iilicable , go still lurthor and assert un * hesitatingly that intellectuality in woman is a sort of superfluity , anil in no wise a necessity to the fulfillment of her mission. To them slut is merely an animal-link in thu chain of life , and worthy of consider ation only so far as she 'caters to their comfort. To the credit of tlio lords of creation , however , it must bo confessed that the number of these "superior" innlo creatures are gradually narrowing down , and by and by they will bo known no moro. Hut there are still other men , and there are a great manj'of them , who , while ad miring a woman of mind ana genius , will acknowledge that the libru of a woman's brain is the same ns that of a man. They still hold , in splto of all the evidence to the contrary , that woman has no originality , no creative genius. and that her skill does not extend beyond Unit of imitation , One of their pot argu ments , and one which they invariably advance as a clincher , is that no woman bus yet written a jrreat opera. In their divine egotism and self-satisfaction they forgot that there has been work wrought by women of vastly greater import to tlio world nt largo than the composition of the grandest opera. But this is not tlio point Lstartctl out to talk about. 1 own that 1 am always a little nctlod when I hear woman's inventive power ques tioned , because it is unjust , as a long list of valuable devices which women have given to the world is abundant proof. And if this be not enough , the genius of woman in linding out ways and means for herself may bo thrown into the bal ance. It must bo remembered that the need for women to think for themselves is as yet a child in swaddling clothes as com pared to the same need in men ; but women arc proving themselves equal to the emergency , and showing a degree and quality of pluck , pcrsevurcncc and originality in the teeth of obstacles that would dismay tlio proverbial stout hearts of many ot the sterner sex. Take , for instance , the women who are thrust out by adverse circumstances from comfort able and often luxurious homes into a life of self-dependence. The inquiry , What can I do for myself ? or , What can 1 do best ? is not an idle one , but honest and thoughtful. And it not infrequently result's in her I'mdinf out a way new nnd hitherto untrodden. What man would have thought of finding fortune in angels' food.orSarntosa chips or chicken nies ? And yet there are three women in the city of Chicago , asl am re- Jiably informed , who drive a lucrative ibusincssi each in her particular line , by supplying these edibles. Another woman is earning fame and fortune by loaves of home-made bread. This is essentially woman's work ; but the happy thought which led a woman to make money by the sale of "angels' food , " to sav nothing of the mundane bread , and fried potatoes , and chicken pies , is not to bo seoflcd at. When it conies to the superintending of farms and maintaining establishments ments women aptly demonstrate their ability. The founder , proprietor and manager of one ot ilio largest establish ments in the country for supplying wo men's andQ children's underwear is a woman ( and she is complete mistress of the situation , even to the running of the engine which supplies the motive power for the sowing-machines. Another wo man is at the head of a large boot and shop manufactory. She "manages" her business and maKcs money. Still an other woman , whoso name deserves to go upon record , learned her husband's business of broom-making after his death , supnortcd her family from the start , paid oil'a largo legacy of debt , nnd at the end of three years had enlarged her establishment threefold. The fallacy that "any one can bo a farmer" no one understands so well ns the practical farmer himself ; but many of the model farms of the land are owncu and exclu sively controlled by women' and as a rule they nro quite ns successful in the business as are men. The Illinois session laws , which are ac cepted its authorities by tlio juries of that state , are arranged , edited : rnd published by a woman. Another woman docs legal printing , which , it must bo understood , must be absolutely correct and punctu ally finished. And so J might go on in terminably citing cases of individual wo men who nave not only earned their "liv ing" but have worked out the way to do it , all of which go to prove that woman is not lacking in originality when it comes to tlio practical things of life. John Stuart Mill says that the standard of the education of women in any country will bo the measure of the education of the men of that country. Is it not possible that "education" did not refer to mere book-lore in this instance ? And does it not stand to reason that when tlio mothers' take an interest in and have some knowl edge of business a greater proportion of the sons will bo more thorough and practical business men ? Tim balance of heredity is acknowledged to bo from the mother's &ido. And this suggests another question. If men were moro capable and Industrious , and did not neglect to pro vide for the rainy day , would not the need of women to work out the bread- and-butter problem bo largely done away with ? It is quite safe to say that to the great majority of women workers the buttle is a distasteful one. However bravely they may wage the warfare , they are yet women , with women's instincts and women's weaknesses. Hut , so long nb the necessity exists , they will do their utmost. The grand operas may never bo written by them , but their ballads will be heard in the homes , and will iind an echo in the hearts of tlio people. MATRIIV10NIAU SUGGESTIONS. Timely Ailvlco to the Young Man Turning tilRhtly to Ijovo. Sunny South : Select tlio girl. Asrrco with the girl's father in politics and the mother in religion. If you have a rival keep an eye on him ; if he is a widower keep two eyes on him. Don't swear to the girl that you have no bad habits , It will be enough for yon to say that you never hearu yourself snore m your sleep. Don't put too much sweet stuff on pa per. If you do you will hoar it road in after years , when your wife has some es pecial purpose in injlictlnsr upon you tlio severest punishment known to a mar ried man. Go homo at n reasonable hour in the ovcning. Don't wait till the girl haste to throw her whole soul into a yawn that elm can't cover with both hands. A little thing like that mav cause a coolness at the very beginning of the game , If , while wearing your uuw summer trousers for the first lime , you sit down on some molasses candy Hint little Willie has left on the chair , smile sweetly , nml remark that yon don't mind sitting on molasses vainly at all , and that "boys will be boys. " Reserve your true feel ings for future reference. If on the o"cision : of your first call the girl upon whom you have placed your young nfl'ections looks like an Iceberg and acts like a cold wave. take your leave ca rly nnd stay away. Woman in her hours of frce/o is uncertain , coy nnd hard to plenso. In cold weather linish saying good night in the house Don't stretch it all the way to thu front gate , and thus lay tlio fotimlaMon for future asthma , bron chitis , neuralgia and chronic eatnrrh. to help you worry the girl lo death after she has married you. Don't lie nbont your financial condi tion. It is very annoying to a bride who has pictured for herself n life of luxury in her ancestral halls to learn too Into tlint you expect her to usk a bald-headed pupint who lias boon uniformly kind to her to take you in out of tlio eold. Don't bo too soft. Don't say : "These littli ) hands shall never do a stroke of work when they nro mine , " and "you shall have nothing to do in our home but to sit all day long nnd chirp to tlio canaries , " as if any sensible woman could bo hnppy fooling axv.iv time in that sort of style ; nnd n girl has a line retentive memory for the soft things and silly promises of courtship , and occasionally , in after years , when she is washing the dinner dishes or patching the west end of your trousers , she wi 1 remind you of them in a cold , sarcastic tone of voice. O1)JH AX1 > KMKS. Stray Leaves t < 'rom a Ilcrtortcr's Note-Hook. Yes , I understand Mr. Ilawes lost $300 nnd Ids railroad ticket while with the Knights of I'yth'ms on their way to Toronto. But 1 can tell j'on something else you haven't heard. One of the knights on opening his grip to treat some friends , found that some of his home members had substituted n bottle of vinegar for " ( Slbson's best. " The joke was smothered and a brother took this bottle , went to the adjoining car and filling a small class drank to tlio health of the party. Nine-tenths of tlio occu pants of the c.ir wanted to join him , Tlio dose to him liad been a bitter 0110 , but ho- bore it bravely. The nearest member had a glass poured for him. Ho drank the contents , looked suspiciously at tlio bottle-holder , and then seeming to divine tlio hitter's idea , pursed up his lips and Bartered in silence. The next hand was that of a clergyman. His glass was filled and draiiK. His eyes rolled , his body trem bled , but ho outlined the convulsions. They looked quite natural to a man whenever never imbibed , unless on a journey. Ho , too , kept quiet. There wore live moro glasses in the decanter , and every glass found a patient drinker , in order that a fellow knight might bo _ pickled with sav ing liquid. ' When tlio joker left the ear the jolly vinegar drinkers , with their bleached faces , looked as they had been suddenly attacked witli a health dose of Canadian chills. Ijocnl Ijncnnlcs. Judge Scliicn : "When is my case com ing up in the supreme court ? Just as soon as my attorney will bring it up. Ho ought to have brought it up last March , but lie didn't. I'll try and have him at tend to it at the next term. The case is in my name , though the other justices , Hrandos , Weiss , Wright and Andres are joined with mo. No , I did not know that either of them hud withdrawn. Wo are contesting the law which appointed the present justices on tlio ground of its un- constitutionality. The constitution says that all the laws of the state must be uni form in their relation lo all parts of the state. This law is not uniform in the fact of its providing for three justices tor this city , while justices throughout the state nro diUbrcntly provided for. This point , or onn involving the same prin ciple rather , was once taken to tlio su preme court by Judge \ \ riirht and re ceived an alUrmativo decision. THE ATLANTA WAY. A Neat anil Kfl'cctivo Way of Evading Prohibitory Intwt ) , Cincinnati Commercial : GeneralThos. L. Young gives the following narrative of his experience with the Georgia prohi bition law : It was early in thb morning , nnd as I hud had a hard day of it the day before , and was not feeling perfectly happy after the night's rest , I tlioiight of a cocktail as a remedy. Cocktails I had found agreed with mo sometimes m the early morning , So 1 said to myself : "Tom , we'll go down to the bar ami try , a cocktail. " loin ac cepted my invitation , nnd away we went. I didn't call a boy to lead us. Well , wo found the bar and walked straight up to the counter , and 1 said to the young man on the other wide of the polished board : "I want a cocktail. " "Wo don't soil cocktnils , " said the bar keeper. "What ! you don't sell 'em ? " said I. "No , sir , " said he ; "wo doa't sell any cocktails here. " "You don't sell cocktails ? " said I. "How's that ? " "Well , you see. " said ho , "tho law don't allow it. " "The doucel"snid I. " toil , then , give mo some plain whisky. " "Wo don't sell whisky hero except by Iho quart , " said ho. "Well , what is it bythoquart"lnskcd. "One dollar and a quarter , " ho said. 1 was pu/yJod. I didn't want a quart for myself , and Iduln'tknow whether the citizens silting in a row along the wall could get away witli what I didn't want. Hosidea , I uidn't ' know them and didn't owe them anything , and I couldn't sco how I was to bo profited by paying $1.85 for a drink for myself. I started to walk away , when I noticed a sad look on the faces of the follows along the wall , but my heart wns hard , and 1 passed out. I went to my room to meditate , -I felt that there must be some way of getting a cocktail in Georgia. A bright idea struck mo. I touched thu electric button for a mossoiiKor , und when ho came 1 said : "Bring me a cocktail. " lie manifested no surprise , but turned nt oncu and went out. Ho soon caino back with a cocktail , and I handed him a quarter , and In- went away , leaving tlio cocktail alone witli mo. Tlio next day throe of us and the engineer wont out on business , and after knocking about the streets in the hot sun for POIUU time , returned to the hotel. 1 went to my room , and thinking to rejoin my friends , naturally I went to the bar , but they were not there. As I was turn ing to go a citizen entered and asked tiio bartender tlio same question I had asked in the morning. Curjous to know how ho would succeed I waited. "I want some whisky. " said the citizen. "We don't sell loss than a quart , " wns the reply. "Then I'll ' take a quart. " said the cus tomer , and he was handed out ono of the cutest pitchers I over saw , I fell in love with it , and I wished I could bring ono like it away with mo , but they were netter tor sale. The stranger said : " ( Jive mo glasses lor each of these men here. " "Wo don't furnish but ono glass with each quart , " said the bartender. And then I witnessed the funniest thing. Aa tlio stranger took up the glnsa the barkeeper elevated a copy of the At lanta Constitution , turned his back lo the counter and became interested in that excellent newspaper , Tlion tlio stranger took a drink , and each of the follows along thu wall ( I wondered whether it was the game crowd J saw in the morn ing ) took a'drink out of the same glass. I went away then satisfied that 1 Knew bow they managed prohibition la Atlanta. A BIG NIGHT ON THE PATROL , -V The Great Achievements of Omaha's ' Tour- Wheeled Pollccnmn , FOUR RUNS IN SUCCESSION. A Specimen nF the Otttcasti , Out laws , nml Unfortunates Picked Up nt Night In the Streets of Omaha. Up With the Driver. It is a beautiful night. The stars flliino brightly and tlio cooling breeze from the south is most urnteful after the torluroof n torrid day. The city jail is illuminated with its feeble glims , mid the light from within scarcely crosses the threshold. Under thu shadow of the antique and rotten buleony above , ami on either bide of the ample entrance to the local bnillo , sits the presiding genius of the place in the rotund form of Ollieer I'elronnet. Reside him , sits thn equally ample fnumi of Ofllcor Turklcson. Olllcer Sigwnrt anil other civic guardians are shrouded in gloom on the opposite side of Iho en trance , while a Hut : reporter with several thoughts directed toward the morrow sils in the middle of the group. Dimly outlined and standing in the gutter is thu patrol wagon , its golden letters glisten ing in the moonlight. Tito brass-tipped harness of the horses glows upon their sides , and the uneasiness with which llioy stamp the stony pavement bespeaks tlio fact that they have had but little to do to-niglil. Ollieer Pcironnctls tolling a short story. It is cut still shorter by a ring of thu tele phone bell. In an instant lie is at the 'phone" shouting "hollo. " The next , he hangs it up on the hook and as ho docs so shouts "Thirteenth and llanny. " The horses are unhitched. Ollieer U ur- tlcson climbs to the seat , Olllcer Sigwart jumps on the hind stop , nnd the HIK : man jumps over the side of the vehicle , and away go the horses , wagon nnd load. The wheels rattle over the Unity pave ment , reach the iisplinltum of Hartley street and then revolve as noiselessly as if tired with rubber. It ij midnight , lio- latcd wayfarers htand on tlio walks , gtr/.o at the Heeling spectacle nnd then follow it until it is beyond their sight. The brake is applied , and the wagon is brought to a sudden stand. A policeman emerges trom the shadow of tlio sa'oon on thu corner of Thirteenth street , bcekons to Sigwart. The. next moment both are carrying between them a sodden indi vidual , heavy ns lead nnd senseless us a block of wood. His clothes are old , soiled , worn and torn. His features are harsh and coarse. His nppearanco is that of annm who wrecked happiness , prosperity and success for debauchery wretchedness , and crime. Ho is dragged into the wtigon and falls like a sack of earth upon the wagon lloor. Again the wheels roll noiselessly over the pave ments. Again stand gaping crowds ns the vehicle passes. Again is the station reached. The inanimate log of a few moments before has been restored to par tial sensibility by the rolling over the stones. His teetli are displayed , his eyes open , and his tongue rolls out the vilest imprecations. Ho is placed behind the bars , and rolls upon the lloor like a beast in a stupor , the while indulging in a pro- i fanalion too heinous to be imagined. "T The boll rings again. "Twolttb and Douglas , " shouts Ollicor 1'cironnot. In two seconds , the wagon's course is ar rested on the latter thoroughfare near Thirteenth. There is a vision of wlilto muslin and gaudy pinnies in the crowd of leering night-liawks , as the policeman of the beat delivers into the custody of Ollicor Sigwart two drunken women , who cry , scream , threaten eternal vengeance upon tlio police and blaspheme by turns. They have been suspected of plying an unholy trade upon the streets. The dainty hat and plume , dainty , yet tainted by the stigma of having been secured by the shainclcssdobnscniontof womanhood. is cast njion the lloor , stamped upon and crushed as was the heart of the mother when she learned of her daughter's shame. A throng of curious people fol lows tlio wagon. The \yoitien are Ind , from it to the jail , kicking , screaming , biting as they go. The street door. * are olosd , and the vul gar crowd is denied tlio sight of the im prisonment it hud sought. Into tlio female cell the women are cast , and their madness is forgotten , because- the bell again calls , this time to tlio corner of Cuss and Sixteenth street. Here , a young fellow marked bv niilura with tlio luatures of a villian is put into the wagon. His dark eyes glisten with rage , lie ga/es furtively about as if con templating jumping over the rail. The ollicor notices the act and moves up to him on the seat. The lad has been caught in the act of burglarizing. Ho is of respectable parents , but his course is not in the ascending order. Ho is far adown the rend to perdition the further end of which ascends to the gallows. Olllcer i'cironnet is at the curb , nnd as tl.e burglar is unloaded ho simply says , "Thirteenth and .Jackson streets. " Four runs in succession , to all points of the compass ! The horses nro panting , be cause they have boon driven like the wind. Yet now they go like un olcotrio , Hash. Over the nsphnltiim and rock-paved fi roads , they reach the alloy intersecting Thirteenth street , between Jackson and Jones streets. Here somebody suys : "Up this way. " ' ! What's the matter ? " asks the re porter. "A man murdered , " says n policeman ns lie disappears in Iho < jloom of the alley. The horses follow timidly. A few rays of light Nhoot through thu curtain chinks in the rear of somu of the squalid houses on either sido. The way is soft , littered with refuse and reeking with noxious odors , "Look out there , " exclaims the policeman - man in the lead. "Turn your horses to the left , or you 'II run over him. " The noise attracts the occupants of the near. est house , who have retired , though fitill keeping a light , burning. Ilio curtain is drawn aside , a man in "robu do null" stands at the window. The light streams in the alloy , and discloses a man lying in the h'lth almost beneath the horses' foot. His face is towards the stars , nnd his eves urn closed MS if in death. A stream of blood trickles from his forehead down his cheeks. He is cold , though apparent ly alive. The driver turns" the horses , passing tlio victim and halts. The latter is put in the wngon. A policeman goes and orders a physician to the sta tion , whither the wtigon llica lest the "pick-up" die on the way. Later inves tigation develops the fact that the man has been slugged , probaoly robbed , Tha deep wound upon his forehead is dressed , and the doctor suggests the . greatest care , which is given mm by the right men. It is far toward the morning. 1 ho Jail is full. The horses aru tired , nnd so ia the reporter after a night on 'the patrol. T.htt Jtnnk The bank clearings for yoslodny were ? 447,2'K,00. ' Thosunf thu week amounted to $3,105,310.70 , , nn increase over the cor responding week of lust year of 07.7 per cent. Thiudcnringiof the month of July weiol7,7tW1.T.Ja.'M , showing an incrnasa over the month of July , 1835 , of O'J.O ' pel cent. _ YJU should try our full creiun The be.s ! in lliu market. C , 11. MOOKU & Co.