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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 29, 1886)
THE OMAHA DAILY BUTE , F RID AY , JANUARY 29,1880. STRICTLY PURE. IT CONTAINS wo OPIUM IN ANY r oim &S CENTS IN THREE SIZE BOTTLES. FRIGE 25 GENTS , 50 CENTS , AND $1 PER BOTTLE OK.CEN I BOTTLES nro nut up for the n A cJJcomninantloii of nil who UealrO n 'goo ntul low priced Dough , Cold awl GroupRemedy THOSK ntjsmi.so ran LUNG BI&EASK Should secure tliolnrirn $1 bnlUcH. Dhoctldu necytiipnnj liiir each bottlo. Sold toy nil Medicine Dealers. Oil SKIN CAWKK. rnrsoveti years ] sulTuiPil with n rnncor on my In co. l l lil months iifro it lrlon < l i-o- CotnmciiiU'il tlin 1190 nfSntrt's Spr > olllc mid I ilo- teiinliH'il I' ) iimlio mi pirorl to secure It , In this J ns successful , nnil bosun Its use. Tim Inllit- C'licoot tliuinuillcltionl lli-st nni to sninowlint iiKirriivnio thu Mint : but soon the liilltunntlnn was illlnjctl Mini I brrnn to hntirovn niicr the HiBl few bottlui. My Kunmnl liciillli Im ? mently iiiiprovi'il. I nni htioiiRur , niiil nblu to ilo niiy ) ; ln < l of v. oik. Th < > cnncur on nijr luco lieiriiii ti ) iloc'ieti e mill tinnlcu - to lice ) , until thuiuH not nvcMlifo ill It lull only n little M'tir marks the I > lnrr. MH * . Jnirin A JloDox.u.li. Atlnntn , On. , August 11 , 1S-8J. 1 huvo hncl n cnncur"on tny fnro for eomo jTir , yvtemlliiK fiom one ohooU bono ncioss Jlio nose to iho other. It hns Riven ino n tocnt ilmil ol pulii , til tliiirn liinnliiir mill itching ; to Biicti 11 n pxlqnt Hint It wns utmost unbearable. I uoimucncfl n liur Swlf I'M Specllio In 5Iny , IfcM , niul Imxo ti o < l olKlit bottle. . H lins ithen the KI cutest icllpf by rinnnvlni ; the Inlhiiniitlon anil icstiirliiiT my uuneuil bcalth W. IlAl \ Knoxvlllc , Inn n , Sept R , ItWi ' 1'roiuUooa blood niul bkln illsonses Tin,1 Swift Siicclflu Co. , Drawer UAtluntn , Oix N. V , IS ? W. Wil stieet. "CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH. " Tlio Ortniiiul mill Only Cluiiiiliic. Rif anJalwiri nclUMc. B-wareof wortlilfM Itnluilani. Imll.iicnoble to LADIES. A U 7 ur ItrUffglil tot 'Chli'liCMlcr' , * Enjcll lr' nd uko DO other.or lucloie 4it. ( iump ) to IIP for i rtlc 1tri in tttttr by return real ) . . Clilohmtcr Clirmleut Co. . PAPER. NAME " arikMoll.unKaiiurisl ! > hll , l . , l'o. At DrticzUU. .Truilii lupplltd li fuller A Fullcl C . . ( Alcairo. 111. _ _ 17 SI. ClmrlcnSt.St.ZonlsMo. ArRulrfra4ualoof two HfdlealColleges , bat te n lonfftr tcKiitlU tbe r T * ltreatmcat of Ciiitomc. NIRTOUI , UKI * aci ULOOD Iis iii iliinanr olhtr I'tjilcUn InSt. Loulf , ai eltf t ircri aloir aofl all old rcil < l Dls loop. Nervous Prostration , Debility , Menial anil Physical Weakness ; Mercurial and other Affec tions ol Throat , Skin or Bones , Blood Poisoning , Old SOrOS and UlCCrS , are trealc.1 will , unpinllsUJ uceeiJCD UleitfcrkDtlOoprlacljilti. Sttfily , Prlratclj. Diseases Arising from Indiscretion , Excess , Exposure or Indulgence , w&icti produce itm or tin .iiUlQfflQX eTeetj 1 uervauiQCM , rfiihllllr. dluoejt tit ttclift oddtfecllvBiaOiorr , plmplei OD lb r ee , pbrilcal decaf , * r nloDtotbe * el lyof fomftlei , eonfuiloa of Ideal , ota. , rendorluff Marrlaqro Improper or unhappy , nto turtd. PamphlftSl > riecioQ ) tbe above , loot rfrminFQtljr | > o , frectoany aildren. ConiullatloiiatoN flCiftr ty mall free.fnrlted andatiletlj confidential. A Positive Written Guarantee eiim ID iTtrren. Title cat * . IdedlolDa itat eTcr/wber by mall or xpr sa. aoq.PAOESFIIIE TLATES , csi n cloth tiaj , : > wr cor r. Sc < Or < li JJeiiior llublt , C'lireil by Administering l > r. Ilniiicv * Golden Ni > rvillc. It can bOKlren Inn cup of eolTci' or ten without the kuon lodge of Uio pernon taking It.liiiljsoluir-ly Uniuik'13 , amlnlll elTuct n pfrrnunont mid speedy euro , wliotbrr tlin patient Is n moilvrato tlrlnkur or an nlcnliollc wreck. It has been given lu tboii- BunJ.i of cMe , anil In every ItiRtuiicu u perfect cure has foIIoncJ. It itrrrr full" . Tlio Hyateni once Inipregnateit u Itti tlic hpcclllc , It lircomri an uttei luipoiilulllty fur Iho liquor appetite to exist. roti SALK nv roMXJWi.va DiiuaaisTS : KIIIIN < V CO. , Cur. 1 5lli iinil Ilontlnx , and IHtli A : Cinnlnit St . , Oiniihu , Neb.l A. I ) . VOSTUIt & II1IO. . Comiclt ntufla , lown. CallorwrllB for pamphlet contnlnlne liun-lreds cMe'tliiitinlHlii from tlin ben women and meufrooi nil parts uf tliviuuntrv. Red Star Line Ciirrjlnjr ( honcljjlum lloynl niul United States Mnll , snlllng uvcry KmuiOny Between Anfwcrp & Hew York TO THE RH1HE , GERMANY , ITALY , HOL LAND AND FRANCE , Salon iroui $ 10 to $100. Excursion Hip from SllOto SIM. htimul Cubiii $ r > U , mill i\ouriloii : SW. Mt'cmtfu niif'tit , ' " t low rules. Tutor \Yrinht\-f-oii * , Oonci-nl AiruntA , M llrouilwiij , Nun York. Oumlm , Nc'briiBkii , Vriink K. MoojcsV. . , St , li. A 1' . tick 't ' iigont. IIAUKV IIUiu ! : HAMBURG - AMERICANA A DlllKCT LINE FOU England , Franco & Germany. The btc'tun&lilps of tliU well liiiowu line uro nil lit linn , In wniur tlRht coinpurlinunts , undio- luuihlird ultli ovorytlilnirtu inakollio P.ISMI U liolli mfo iinU ngrrcotiblo. They curry Ilio United ( lull's nnil Ktiropcnn mulls , mid louvoNi'w Voi-lt 'Iliin-hduys mid Satui-dny * lor I'lyinnutli , ( IUN > JOX ) , CLiTboiit-(1'AltlH ( nnil UAMIIUilU ) . Hiitt'j Flist cubln , tlH-HW. ) Stct-niffo to Now Aork , IU. Ci Ot US1 ( K H ® V. { It V A Quirk , TVnnl. Iw3 l il' MWo.yiiwi ' . ' /o.yiiw-i / SflCii 'i iK Hte-ifito s'lioui r > . HMU hy nun. Nt.Ai.ro. run-- . . ( (1E MEDICAL CO..BUFFALON.Y. M I t RCGTORCD.lIrinrily RB nSiftrtfi i'/- > ' - Au.it'u' | > t > i > uiii- /Ufi lllliiilll1 I'll'fi'Ji'iHo rnu-luh- SBllM flllilllli I'rt'Uiatuiii Decay , Nrn ilBblilllWU > oii DoMllty , Lewi Sinn , liivxl. &c lu\lTU-tilo lliur.inevrrykiicmiimimly Inn tllscm orc > l a HMU'lc toK 'iire.n liidi liu u til tiliit j'ltKr to hi * ftllnutiue 'n * . Aildivhx J. Jl.ilEUViSUCl : tlian-ilr < .et.NtH YorkCUr. A Clear Skin Is only a part of beauty ; but it is a part. Every lady may have it ; at least , what looks like it. Magnolia Balm both freshens and beautifies. COUNTING CATTLE HORNS , "Result of the Year's Oattlo Business in Montana , Xlic Prlnoo of Herders The Itouuil- * U | > Inillnii Rcscrvntlons How Out tic nro ISulclicrccl on Them , The pnst year has boon one of unusual profit lo the cattlc-Jirowcrs of Montnnn territory , writes n correspondent of the Pitts'purg Comhiorcial Gazette from Fort KCOK' ' > 'J'lio wealth fromtliatvns added to tlicstnto from tlio year's business will amount tip in the millions. It is now the most inlporlant business. The territorial government is in the hands of herders , as nro tilso tlio minor county onions. Laws iirc > miilo : and unmade lo suit the cattle- growers , Among thu recent nets of tlic cowboy Jcpisliituro at Helena was the passage of a bill appointing a board of livo-stook owners , Hon. (5rnnville Stu art , the man who is president , of this commission , has a Iiistorv. Mr. Stuart is one of liio most earnest men in tlio b'usi- ness , and lias probably done more than ally other individual to chock .TIIItiVINO AND MAKAUDIN'CI Tn Northern Montana. Ills inlluonco with tin ; Indian * is strong , hh views re garding the beit molliods of handling them nro highly reflected , and his recent articles upon tlio .subject deserve special attention. In urging that thu Indians bO disarmed and utsinountctl ho has their Interests at heart as well as tlic interest of the whites. \Vcro wo to invade tlio pnvato life of Granvillu Stuart , tlio Miyslory of his great friendship for the Indians and his thorough knowledge regarding their requirements would bo explained. Ilo settled in Montana in the early day. Others being lacking lie took to' himself an Indian wife. Many of his friends af terwards severed similar connections. Frequent temptations did not lead him to set his helpmeet adrift , however , for she had been true to him in lite frontier times when nioro congenial companions wore unavailable , antfnuw she .shares his pros perity. His homo at Fort Maginnis is the most comfortable in Northern Montana , and throughout tlio territory it would bo dillietill lo find a bettor or more complete private library than lhat of which no is tlio possessor. Ilo is a well-educated , fcchofarly gentleman , who keeps thor oughly posU'd upon the questions of Iho day , and ouo who not only has books , bill aho knows Uio enjoyment of their peru sal. WOKKIXCJ TIIC So inui'li has been written during the jwst few yours upon "round-ups , " "rop ing , " "brawling" ami minor tlotails of range lito that our Eastern Jrionds must ho reasonably \vell infurniud upon the btibjcot. Fortliat reason J shall onl.y al- llulo casually to the extcnsivencss of this system. In receiving , say , ono thousand lioad of "pilgrim" cattle from the States ( of value not less than § ' . ' 5,000) ) , branding tli3in at the stock yards with an X on the left hip , for instance , and turning them loose upon the range , the owner either nndor.stands tlio business or has an un swerving trust in 1'rovidcnce. A nortion of his herd may bo seen occasionally dur ing the season by him elf or his cow boys , but ether portions may dritt away lifty ol * a hundred miles , sometimes more , " . " liven tlion before the next "round-up. it may bo impossible to find them all. The ranges arc divided into "districts , " and each district is vorkcd by a separate eompaily of obW-bbyy , numbering any- * > vhoro from twenty to M.\tv ( moro occa sionally ) , according to the importance ( of the district. All who have range cattle within the limits of that district arc represented , either personally or other. WISO , ill TIII : nouNu-ur VAKTV , every member of which exercises his ability for the mutual advantage of his neighbor as well as for himself. The dis trict may bo two hundred miles long and lifty to seventy-live miles wide , and the cowboys move from six to ten miles each evening , gather the cattle from the hills surrounding the camp , the next morning divide the stock into Imuchos , each bear ing the brand of a diilercnt outfit , brand the calves with the marks borne by the mothers tho.y follow , and in cases whore the ownership of the calves cannot bo de termined , they , in this territory , receive the brand ot the outfit that holds the range upon which they are found. Now , in tlio district whore those "X. " cattle live the representatives of tl.at brand will see , as far as possible , to the holding and brand ing of the stock belonging to their outfit Then tlio cattle that are disposed of will bo thrown into herds , according to the locality of their ranges , and driven to ward their regular grazing grounds. Those that belong in the vicinity of the camp will bo left there , and the "round up" party moves on. THE UIIF : : "ROUND-UP. " The above has special reference to the spring round-up , which takes from sixty to ninety days. In addition to the fall "round-up , " the beeves are "cut out" separated from the other stock and driven by members of their respective outfits to tlio points of shipment. It is at tlieso shipping points that the value pf the stock inspector is seen. Ho exam- iuos the brands of every animal shipped from his point , and if some of tlioro "X" cattlo'nro being shipped with the beeves of some other party ho notes the fact , reports to the secretary of the stock commission the wnolo lot goes lo mar ket , and in duo cour.to the owner of the "X" cattle receives Iho proceeds of his "htray.s" on the basis of the price at which tho. main body of the shipment is sold. The nuiubw of nnimals thuufound is largo. "Strays" that belong in Mon tana liavo frenui'iitly been shipped from points on tlio union Paollio in Wyom ing , and vice versa , on iho Nortlieru Pa- dills. It is not considered surprising for cattle to drift JOO to 150 miles from their customary range , Thus are range cattle looked alter , and though it may take years for the "X" outlit. or any ntlicr , to MJeuro all their Mock , they are moro than llki-ly to do so eventually , oxceptlng wliero the "critters" are stolen , killed by wild animals , or dlo on the nmgo. The inspectors tire thoroughly familiar with the brands of tlio northwest , watch ohuely for stolen stock , do much towa'.d bringing offenders lo justice , and nni stationed at the principal Mode-handling points , The detectives are equally in strumental in furthering the success of this til-cut .system. About live thous.iudl DiriT.lir.NT llIt.VKDS. Have already been recorded in the oflico of the territorial treasurer at llcloiia. Even the Indians have their brand * , and , with the multiplicity of devices that aroused used , under the acts of IbGJ , to distin guish Mock , it is"no easy matter to keep thrill all in mind. In the I'llbrt ofid Montana ot dangerous wild animals bounties wuro paid during 1681 on moro than 5,000 wolves , 1,500 coyotes , COO bears anil 100 mountain lions. During lbS5 the bounties were still greater. The grand schema of breeding in Texas , fattening in Montana nnd market ing in Chicago almost bijeumo a picture ot the past , The loading cattle-owners' , whoso intoro-i.s nro seattorcd from Texas to the liritKh possessions , may niako - ' - the- trail Gomo long-d'-ifcs up - uoxtsoason , but there are many who believe that a plant of over I.QOO.OOO head of oattlo is enough for all general purposes in a Territory that has bet ween 40,000,000 and 50,000,000 acioi available for little else than gracing , aslJo from iho SJO.OOO.OOO acres tltnt are locked up in Indian and military reservations , the ludhiu reser vations being large enough to give 1,000 acres to each boy , girl , squrtw nnd Jnick of Iho red inen of Montann. Lalo in Iho fall t was at Fort Ulobrnra , Neb. , on business , and tllcro had a fine opportunity to study the Indian mode of eallle growing on the Rosebud agency. Spoiled Tail's old bands pf Unite Slonx are in reservation there. They own thous ands of cattle nnd are thriving. They number in all 8,200 souls , and it lakes 275 beef calllo lo do them ten days. INDIAN uurciiKiis. The sight of the issue of this bcof to the Indians was one of Iho most exciting scenes I have over witnessed. When 1 arrived at the calllo eorrnl 500 Indian warriors , armed with Winchester rifles , nnd the best revolvers Wore there to kill Hie beef. Slcer nftor steer Wns let out df the pen , and thrco warriors ran them over Iho prairie , killing them as they would buffalo. Ono old copper-skinned rascal &lood by tlio chute , nnd us Iho gale would be raised lo lot out tlio atihnnls , ho would hit him on the root of tlio tail with n stone Jiaimnor lo niako him run. The poor brnlo would roar with pain nnd .then the gate would be raised and he would tlasb out across the prairie with a half dozen young Indians after him. Then the sport would boirin. First ono young warrior would shoot a horn on' , then another would break a leg , nnd so on. The poor animal would bo tortured to death by slow degrees , his death being put on * so long as possible so tlio sport would last longer. And this Was the government of the United States' method pf issuing buef to its Indians , encourag ing them lo bo barbarous and cruel , making a gala-day of its moat issue , nnd giving tlio young warriors iv ehanuo to learn to shoot well and rldo well , so that they can kill our soldiers more readily and kill citizens bettor if they should go lo war. I saw young Indian boys tlioro torturing cattle poor dumb brutes lo dcalh , who should have been in school learning lo read and write. ' It struck mo as horrible , and f could not but think that it was time somebody gave the gov ernment a few lessons in liumniilty , civi lization and economy. It takes $10.000 worth of moat every ton days lo feed the o lazy rod rascals and furnish them poqr dumb brutes on which to practice their cruelties and barbarities. It made mo sick and ashamed to think the gov ernment I represented would permit such things lo bo done in its name. SCANDALIZING THE SEX. Have n Natural Inclination Towards Pnntaloons. St. Louis Critic : It was in a lancy cslablNlirncnl. "You have never seen a pair of ladies' panlaloons ? " asked the clerk. 'Miovorl" replied tlio scribe. "Then prepare yourself for tlio sight , " and lifting the cover oil' the box the man modisto took out a dark drab woolen- cloth garment , which ho unfolded and held out at arm's length for inspection. At first sight the article looked like two canvassed hams with a Siamese twin con : noction in the upper region , but on closer inspection it proved to bo a pair of soft woolen cloth trousers , baggy nbove the Knee and tight- tilling from the knee to the ankle , the last few inches of the gar ment being-made of an elastic material. "This is ono of the latest departures in female attire , " said the modiste. "It's an overgarment ; in fact a regular pair of trousers , which ladies of advanced ideas on dress have adopted in place of the heavy and cumbersome skirts ordinarily worn in winter. It is worn over tlic or dinary llanncl undergarment and gener ally over the stockings as _ well. At least that is the intention , as it sots bolter that way and is altogether more comfortable , while , should a gust of wind raise the skirts and reveal the garment , a casual observcr.would j-ecai-d tbu pantaloon legs as stockings. "What is the usual outfit of a lady who patronizes pantaloons ? " was asked. "Well , 1ft mo sco by the way , yon must recollect that this is essentially a cold weather coitumc. The usual outfit is llannel under clothes , pantaloons , ono light shirt , corset , a corset cover of warm material , made like a jacket , with arms and dress. Some , of course , supplement this with small hoops or bustle , but quite a number are now discarding tlio latter articles and dross , to all practical intents exactly like a man. " "How do the ladies take lo panta loons ? " "They think they're 'just splendid' . Yon see ladies have a natural inclination toward pantaloons , and now they each have nn opportunity to wear them. 1 shouldn't be at all surprised if the slylo becomes a craze. " Klcctrioljninjis on Private Carriages. The success of the incandescent olqc- trie lamp for private carriages in Paris , as a substitute for candles and oil lamps , is pronounced complete. Not onjy thu regular nido-jighls are included fin this plan , but the interior of the vehicle is illuminated by a lamp sulliciently pow erful to rend by _ , and in some instances n similar lamp is placed for novelty on the head of the horse. The lamps are connected by wires with small accumu lators placed under Iho driver's scat. They arc small in size , being only about eight inches square and four inches high , each of such accumujators being able to supply a lamp of livc-candlo power for thu space of soinosix hours. During the day they are removed and charged wilh electricity from a dynamo machine or otherwise , and at night they arc ready for use. Short Out.s. Chicago Mail : The latest abbreviation crank hails Irani Illinois. Hu registered at a south sulo hotel thus : "Y & ot. " It was deciphered tp iniUcntq ' , 'Wy'U'ut. ' ' " Out in Kansas they always write Leaven- worth "U worth , " and Wyandotlo "Yr it. " All tills is done in tlio intonisl of economy not through indolence. There was a man once whoso name was James Hole , and who was bo lazy that in regis tering his name he simply made a "J" and tlion punched a hplo in thu paper. John Underwood , of Andover , Mass achusetts , always signed 'Wood ' , Mass. " A Short Cut. The other night on an Arkansas rail road train a passenger .called the con ductor and asked : * "Aro wo on timoV" "Yo.s. " " ( ilad. Are wo on Iho track ? " " 1 don't ' know , but I'll go forward and ask. " Ho went away and returning , said : "I am informed that wo loft the truck about live miles back.Wo are now running on tlio country dirt road , anil if wo don't meet a wagon we'll bo all right. Yon see that there is a big bond in the road back hero , and wo MIVO tijno by tilling a fchort cut" Hlio AVas Willing ( o Consider a Ite. dilution , "John Henry , " said Elizabeth'Miran da , "how much money have yon saved bylhislimoY" "I have only twcnty-fivo dollars , and YOU said I must have $250 before you would marry- " "Well , John Henry , pa U only Haying ton cents on the dollar now , and 1 expect it would bo well for you to respect his feelings and do the same , " Suggestion to Dr. Mary Walk or. Kvansvillo Argus : "Dr. Mary Walker has turned up in Washington with a tall silk tile and a heavy winter overcoat , " Wo always thought the Dr. ralhcr eccen tric. She has a right to do as she pleases , br t if she is guing to go out clad only in sni/h n costume , she. had beller put some lliinnel nroiuid her throat oivsho'll bo lia ble to taku Cold. JUSTICES 'THE FAR WEST. . .i " > Jimmy Orate ? 06ta to Be Judge and Mart - t tics a. Couple. A Humor Thfct Ilo Wore Socks Con- ' / ol * Court DiniCHltlcf of Introducing a IforelRu Corpse na ' ' ' .Testimony. " V "I iMr. Back in tltp early day * , when the ship of civilization 'was endeavoring to push its prow up tlio valley of the I'laltc ami brawny workmen were spiking down the rails of the Union Pacific railroads says Capt. Jack Crawford , the poet- Bcout , in the New York World the pro ceedings In some of tlio courts of justice were peculiar. The country was wild and hostile. Indians chased the buftalo over the ground where prosperous towns and villiagcs now stand. Lawyers were about as scarce as they nro In the promised laud , and justice , not being provided with the traditional scales , performed some remarkable guesswork. At that time I was in the Indian sorvicq nun for a time was stationed tit Louo Tree , in Iho beautiful valley of the Plutto. The town consisted of n half doion hastily con structed houses , the majority built of sods. There Were u few settlers near the town hardy pioneers who had taken lip government laud nnd who lived in con stant danger of attack from Satan's earthly corps , the Sioux. One of the eccentric characters of the town was Jimmy Crane , a tiino-bealcn frontiersman , uneducated , unpolished and , as a traveling missionary once said , ungodly. His lito had boon spent west of the auburn waters of the Missouri , and ho know as little of the ways of civiliza tion as an Apache Indian knows of the modern plan of salvation. Ho was a dead shot with a rillo , nn ardent lover of whisky and an expert at draw poker , but aside Irom these lie had no religious ac complishments worth speaking ol. Bill Bennett , the justice of the peace in and for that precinct , had a misunder standing one night with Jerry Mtmson over the very important point of who played low in a game of sovon-iip , and after the funeral it became necessary lo elect a man to succeed him. With that spirit of recklessness which characterizes Iho frontiersman , and as a rich joke , the boys nominated Jimmy , mid , to carry out the joke , elected him. The high honor so' unexpectedly thritsi upon tlio old man broke him all up , but he at once rose lo the dignity of tlio position and began to comb his hair daily. There were vague rumors Hitting about the set tlement that ho had taken to wearing socks. These slanderous rumors , how ever , he indignantly denied , and even went so far /is/to / make threats of heavy lines ; for contempt of court if they were persisted in. , o His knowledge of law ami of Ihri duties of his position was limited ; in-fuctyho didn't know Uio dif ference between a writ of replevin and an act of congress , and couldn't distin guish a puacoi warrant irom the ten couiniandinbiibif but bo assumed the re- sponsibilitjil fearlessly , and smiled be nignly wlidi the boys addressed him as "Judge. " tllefcictermined lo do a cash business frimi the start , ami with the aid of a mnrkifig brush and a pine board Ihc space abov ) hiioabin ) door soon bore the inscription * ! * f > . .i.-l. . . . ; jyToOreiIdlt Fur Law. : * A few du.ytiapcr his1 installation into olHoo a ygi'Ujy couple appealed before him to oc nuu-ried. Jimmy was in a quandary. He had never seen the mar riage ceremony performed , and , telling the candidates .to bo seated , ho jumped oil a horse and galloped to a ranch a half niilo distant to consult the only law book in the county , a small work entitled "Every Man his Own Lawyer. " He searched its pages clo-oly , but could find nothing beanng.upon the subject , and in despair he galloped luck to Clancy's saloon and consulted the boys. Ono of them , a recent arrival from the states , explained to tlic old man how he should conduct the ceremony. Ilo listened at- tentivcly , and when tiio tenderfoot had colieluded his explanation said : "Say , young feller , you j ist hop over thaian' splice 'cm , an' I'll give you $5 fur the job. " "But that wouldn't be legal , Uncle Jimmy. I am not an ollicer , and have no authority to perform a marriage cor- mony. " "D n Iho authority ! You jist bulge ahead an1 marry 'cm , an' this court ' 11 approve the pereccdiugs and nobody's going tor kick. They're cussed fools ittr goin' to all this trouble o' gittin * a cere mony in this country , anyhow , an'you kin marry 'em good enough fur all prac tical purposes. Just hop over thatan' cut loose , an' I'll make it a twenty. " The young man llatly refused , and Jim my determined to worry through Iho em- harassing allair as ho best could. Ho started for his ollico , and thu crowd fol lowed lo sco the fun. Bidding the couple lo stand before him , ho said ; "Dearlv beloved fellow-citizens , these young folks now appear before you lo in dulge in the holiness o' malormony no- eordin'tqseriptur1 an" tlio laws' ' o'this court If any ot you knows any calico why they shouldn't make the play , you want to squeal right out at this stage o1 the game , or corral ycr jaws on the sub ject lurovormoro. " No objection was heard , and the Jus- lice continued : "Hoi1 ii ] ) vor right hau's. " The couple blusliingly obeyed. "Do you , and oacli of you , solcmly sw'ar that you will marry each other in tlin pretence of this court ; that you will do thu square thing by each other ; thai you will give every body else tlio go-by , an'.cling to each other through life till death calls > ipon you lo cash in your earthly checks , an' that you \yill be to each other hiisbun'an' wife aceordin' to the law an' Ijc-proplipts an' the rules an1 rogulutiotViijiOtSiUiis honorable court in such cas-as-vnndowi' pervided , so help yu Uml. " " " " ' The coiljiUj woro. Jimmy int'uiviuveating profusely over the oxortioYi linVl after scratching his head to col 'cQjis thoughts , continued ! "Then Ir James Crane , Justice of the peace , amximin you as luisban' ' an' ' wife , now an' foiWyi'niioro ' , world without end , Amen ; nnjtf yio style doesn't suit jou j-ou have tmrJiigal right to tippeal to Iho supreme t iiiri.at ; Omaha at any time within sixfaf/TO'H. / Now light out , an' ' mo an' the Coys'll go an' drink ) vow health. " I'-iM ' The coui/5i ) ] / omed to bo perfectly sat isfied , au < lava Kcd IIAVIIY hand in hand , their siiU'tabnflil faces wreathed in smiles of unmistatiiWe happiness. During the Jnal of his lirst , and , I may add , his hist ease , for ho throw up the ot- lieo in dbgustonn of the alleged lawyers , H young sprig from Omaha , said in his speech ; "Your honor , the ground taken by the attorney on the other side is a fulso 0110,11 dangerously false one , sir ; an assertion in winch BlacKstonu will sustain me. I can mnko it clear to your honor by Black stone that " The court interrupted him , ami said : "Woll , let's eloan this thing up as wo go along an' then wo won't get mixed. If wo leave thc-iv raveled ends ahangin1 loose we'll never btrai'twi Iho maltorout , Constable , go an' bring Mr. Blackstonu into court to testify. " It was explained to him that Blackstonc .was ai | authority < m law and had been dead many iiars1 This made the old man lighting mail , and be jumped up and threw on" his coat and slapped his fists and howled : "This court may not be very fly on law nnd may bn away off on cdicntioil , bul it'll be d d from pan to Harshcba , nn' back agin if anybilcd shirt from Oniclmw kin' ring in a dead lawyer on it I No liv ing man km come before the bar of this court nn1 make a play with a second hand stift" that's been in the ground a hul life time and not got licked. Do yon think you kin try to work a foreign corpse Into the evidence an' escape the rightc&us Judgment o' Iho courlv I'col your Unon , you dandified freak o' nature fur tlio cyclone's howling an' the court's a-comin' at 3011 In nil its legal power. Whoop I" Two minutes later the Omaha law sharp was the worst licked man the country hnd o c < - seen. Jimmy never sat on another case. lie resigned in disgust and tore down his shingle and in future wanted to lick every mftn that addressed him as Judge. Ills successor nl o proved a failure. In a neighboring settlement , twelve miles distant , a young man was arrested for breaking inlo a cabin and stealing n num ber of articles. Ilo wns nn Intimate friend of the judge nnd the old man was almost thunderstruck when I6ld thai a constable Was bringing Frank up the river on a charge of burglary. When Iho prisoner arrived tlio judge look him nside nnd said : "Frank , 1 couldn't think any more ot if war' - ' il breaks you vou 1113- own boynn' mo all up to see you in this trouble. They tell me you are charged with burglary.1' "Yes , that's the charge , judge. " "Too badl Too bndl An' ' nro you guilty , Frank ? " "I guess 1 am , judge. I'm afcared they can prove il on mo. " "Oh , my boy , this is awfull" lie walked away to a window , whuro ho stood for some time icflccting , and then returned and said. "Lookeo here , boy ! Dnrglnry is an ugly charge , an' I'd rutner see yon nanked up fur killln' somebody or steal in' sonictliin' I kin . see only ono way fur you to git out of it an' oseapo goin' to Jail. I'll toll you w'at to do , Frank. You lun send down and have Hie gal brought up hero and marry her. an'111 kick the case outen court an' ' see thai it's not rung in agin durin' my administra tion. " HER BROTHER IS A GIRL. How n YOHHK Ijady I'rom Illinois was SttrprlHCd by tlic Health Hoard. New York World : Among Iho visitors to Iho health department yesterday was a young and protly woman , who said tiiat she was Miss Lynch , of Illinois. Her mother proposed to apply to the govern ment for a pension , as her father had bcc.il a Union soldier. The pension olllco was very particular about the de tails of applicants' families , and Miss Lynch wished a transcript of the record of tlio birth of a child born to her parents in Mow York in 1603. When the records were examined il was found lhat on February 11 , 1808 , Catherine , wife of Michael Lynch , gave birth to a female child at No. 188 Mott street. "Uut my brother is not a woman , " pro tested the fair visitor. "Ilo must bo , " was the reply. "This is the oflieial record , oortiflcd byUr. T. L. Gay , of No. 14 Uayard strcc't. If you don't bcliovo that your brother is a girl , just look at tlio record. " "Wo always thought that he was a boy , " said Miss Lynch , sadly , "and after all these years it turns out that hu has no right to vote , nor smoke , nor wear trousers. Cannot the record bo chang ed ? " "Never. " "Nol oven if a clerical error has been made ? " "No. " Miss Lynch was asstircd that the de partment sympathized with her , and ap preciated the painful position of a young man , ollioially and irrevocably declared to bo a young woman , but nothing could bo done. The scriptures might bo ro- vesed ; the board of health record , never. A Hey AVreaks Vonueanco oil a IVIcan Ufa n. "Mister , will von please give me a dime ? " asked a ooy of a grutl'-looking man. "Why should I giyp you n dime ? " "To with. " get something lo cat "Why should I care whether you cat or not ? It's ' none of my business. " Shortly afterward , as the man was run ning to catch a car , his plug hat blow oil' ami went rolling at u rapid rate. "PJease stop that hat , " lie shouted to a bow. " should I half" the "Why stop your boy replied. "It is none of my business. " "Now look hero , you young wretch , a wagon has run over it. " "That's so ; but why should I care ? It's none of 1113business" " He Knew What Was the Principal Goi-innii Order. " 1 see thai the emperor of Germany has conferred the Order of the Rod Kaglo upon ( Jen. Wolseley , " observed libcnczor Jone-j to Zebcdco Smith. "Yes , so 1 noticed. Is that the prin cipal Gorman order ? " asked Smith. "Oh , no. " "What is ? " "Tho principal German order is "Zwoi Uier. " Didn't Sec the Monkeys. A little thrco year old , who had several times visited Ihu dime museums with his parents , was on Sunday taken to church with u member of the tamily , and alter returning homo was asked by his father what ho saw. "Well , " said the youngster , "a man cot up and shook his arms and talked , bul I didn't like il much , becaitsu they didn't let us sou the monkoya. " Of Two'JSvils Ilo Would Cheese the honst. Do Jones How did you like Hint blonde 1 introduced you to the other night ? Silly Side Too tall. If I over get mar ried il will bo to a girl who is petite. Do Jones Well , you're right. Of two evils , 1 have been told , choose the leait. Two IVnys of fjoolclug At It. Now , I think that was si rare piece of acting , " remarked the young man as ho came out ot the opera lion u. "Indeed. Now I thought it was wull done , " replied the young lady And then they did not speak again for two minutes , Kiitlrely DiH'oront Dciioiulnut ion. "Old Deacon Smith is " a pessimist , ro * marked an Oakland man to his wife , in the presence of his precocious son , who exclaimed v "Why , father , what a Hoi" "What clo you moan , siry" thundered the father. " 1 say ho ain't. He's n MothodM ; that's wliat ho is , " Kho Know T rni Only by Sl lit. Philadelphia < ,11 : Mamma Do you know Ihu ton coidiuantlnients , my dear ? Little JJeaa Yuv , mamma , "Well , repent ll-mn. " "J can't , man' a. I don't know thorn by heart , 1 oti.j.-know them when 1 see thorn " v.- Vfhen I ! br iraa sick , ire pare lc I G'.uora ) , When she n.ij a ChiM , he cried fur Castorla , When glie became Mian , eha tilling to Caatoria , Wli u slit bid Children , ilio gate them Cutotij , iisr 10 IS Oneoflhe Best and Lttrgest Stocks in the U. to Select from. i No Stairs to Climb Elegant Passenger Elevator. ! j M. BURKE & SONS , LIVE STOCK COMMISSION MERCHANTS , ar.O. ntJHKl * , Mnnnsrcr , UNION STOCK YARDS , OMAHA , NEB. nnr.NCnS ! Morclmntinnil Farmers' Hunk , Dnvlil City , Noli. , Konrnoy National uixtik.Koft r - nor.Ncb. ; Columtnn Stixto Haul- , Columbus , Nob. ; McUoiiuM's Uaitk , Nortli 1'liitto , Nob. Olunlia , Nnllniml llnnlt , Oumlin , Nob. Will par custninurs * Jrnrt wltb bill of InilttiB attaclioil , for two-tlitnU rahio ot fltuok. JAY GOULD KISSED. Klnnituicr'N Nnino Dim-upls n Happy Homo. Now York Journal ; Jay ( iouldM name brought about the disruption of Uio once happy Hoeeki-r family yeslnrdny morn ing. The family is composed of John Hoi'cker. hlK wife Mary and four children. They live at No. ISO Orchard street. John ekes out a living by making baMkote' . Mrs. Boocker s youngest child , a pret ty little boy , was oorn unexpectedly at the Ninth street slalion of Iho Third Ave nue Elevated Itnilroad on the ! ! 0th of last , Inly. As a mark of respect for tins great little man who controls the road. Airs. Bocokcr at once christened the child Jay Gould Hoecker. Mr. Gould was greatly pleased when ho heard of the eycnl , so much so Ih.-U he stint the baby his picture and a promise to make him an elevated railroad conductor when ho became of age. All this pleased MIN. Boecker , hut her husband became iuriotts when ho learned the chlld'h inline , lie said .lay Gould was a monopolist and an enemy of the people , and he insisted upon calling him Frede rick William , in honor of the Urown Prince of 1'russia. Frequently since then the couple have had trouble about the baby's name. Hoecker look > great a dislike to the child that ho hardly ever noticed it , { jiv ing all his attention to his three other children , the oldest of whom is a fourteen year old boy , Avho is a great admirer of JaGould. . The keen-eyed little fellow , Jay Gould , never paid any attention to the disputes about his name. Ilo preferred to sprawl about the lloor , and \\onlitgcl everything he laid his hands on into a corner. Like his grout namesake , the boy sleeps with ono eve open , and he IK uncertain in politics , whoa an admiring visitor neks liim if lie is a democrat ho bows his head , ns it to say yes. Ho gives the saino an swer if asked if ho is a republican or an independent. When his mother took him out in tlio ba by-en n-J age he wanted the whole street to him elf , and cried if he saw another baby on the block. A few dnjr. ago his mother took him to a neighbor's rooms. The neighbor's boy was playing with a toy railroad train. As foon lib Jay Gould lioocUcr saw it heginbbed it up nnd re fused to part with it until his molhcr spanked him. Yesterday morning Mr. Hoeekor called Iho family together nnd ordered thorn not to call the baby Jay Gould any more. " Mrs. JJoccker said that Jay Gould was" the boy's name , and she defied him or any one to change it. "That child must be called Frederick William , " pursibled Jjocekcr , "or I'll dis own it. " Mrs. Hoeckor said she would tlic rather than chungo the name. Her husband got so mad that lie Mapped her face , feinashed the furniture and spanked tlin baby. Court-olliccr Simmons arrested Uoecker aim took him to Essex market court , where Justice Power committed him for llirco months. Ueloro going to a dungeon he kissed the baby , supposing that that would soften his wile's heart , but she was obdurate. Late in the afternoon she ailed and begged for his release. Jus tice Power | ) i'ouii > cil to release him on the ! 'tnli of nc.\t April. A TAME BUTTERFLY. Tlio Curious I'et of Jjltllo Miss ou HOiHli FIl'Hi Street. Phllndcphia } Newn : A btitterlly in caplivily is perhaps not an unusual thing to see , bul a bnltcrlly in captivity that has lived in a glass jar ior three months and through the cold weather of winter is .something that very few have had the opportunity of seeing , as a bnttorlly's existence i.s generally considered to last but a few weeks1 at the lurthcst. Mi s linssio Si-nion , tlio daughter of Win. Suinon , of Iho Virginia lolmccu store , on .Niiilli : street above Chestnut , is Iho owner of a specimen that she caught in the yard in the nsar of Mr. Soinon's roMdonee , HIM South Fifth street , early in October. When il was caught it was almost dead with the cold. .She look it inlo u warm room nnd ijl.iccd it in a glass jar with a pcrfornlcd lid , and the iiiscei , not only revived , but grow lively and seemed to InKo a liking to its now home It is. one of the largo brown species , with wings fully an inch and a half long. While in il.s glass cage il manifests1 HOIK ) of the do > irc to o-scapo usually shown by insi-cU in captivity , but moves around ilsgla-s hou-e with wings at rest. and it spends its limit prlnoijinlly in do/.ing and feeding , Wlu-n it was caught it was slender in body and hungry looking , bul on its feed ol sugar and < ! cry it has grown fat and round and nlmost too heavy to lly. Mi-s ISiisMu has mndo somelhing ol n pel of her hutti rlly , nnd ovqry day she takci it out of the jar to give it exorcise , A Nows-gatheior was prc'cnt yester day wlum "iJrownio" wa * given an airing When the lid uas removed from the jar Iho buttorily Hew out nnd Hi on ils own er's arm , spread ils wings and took n a good Mi-etch. It then walked up hnr arm lo her sliouldor , touk n look around and Ihon How around the room n couple of times , and returning lit nn its liitlo mis- tresi' head , Jt could hu easily seen that the insect recognized its owner , for though several times while it uas on ils Ilightcho changed her poiition tlio but torily each time tlew to her. Another evidence that il knew liur was found in the fact that when any oneelM ! wont near the bnttorlly il closed its wing- together and remained perfectly quiet , wherons Mi s Hossio need simply put her linger down hcsido it and the pretty inject would got up on it anil then walk up her arm to her shoulder or head. Mi.- * Semen - mon is naturally proud of 'her unique liitlo put , jtnd will niako every ullbrt lo prolong iUu\Utt > iK't > through iho wintor. TUti BEST ofthi ) day is iindmthteitk JAMES 1'YLI'AS PKAltLl'NK. "It el- . .HMtho dirijet.1 nnd most elegant t.ibt.iitlmut \ injury and Mill , lltllo labor. Fur sula .by grocers The Cost > r a Husliol or Corn. Chicago Herald ! There is a statistician about the Palmer House who doslros to innm'ss everybody with economic fncts. Said he yc.sterdav : "Do you see that man over there ? Well , lie's a farmer down near Elgin. There his goes wilh a friend ; they're going to gel n drink. The farmer will pay for it. Now , let ino see. That man will sweat two mortal hours next spring to plow enough ground to raise ouo bushel of corn. J'luil bushel of corn he will Bell for UO eonts. Ho is going In there now to spend the i)0 ) cents for two drink's Therefore , the farmer and the corn have pat-led. Now , lot mo toll you what becomes of the corn. A busluu of corn mnkos seventeen quarts of whisky four-iind-a-qunrtor callous. The distil lery gets its llrst prolit ' 10eonts n gallon. There .yon are ; $ 'J for that bushel ot corn. Now the government comes1 in , 1)0 ) cents a gallon &I,83 , added to the if'i , makes $5.85. That brings the product of tlin bushel of corn down to the jobber nnd Iho wholesaler and , liually , uy several stages , to the retailer. Uy the time it reaches the latter the busliol of corn or its product of four and a quarter gallons has been reduced one-half , which means eight anil a half gallons. Tlioro nro sixty drinks to the gallon Hint is the average eight and a half gallons menu 270 drinks at 15 cents each there wo have ! jlll.l'i j > ! as the consumer' * price for a bushel of corn which the farmer raises and sells for o ( ) cents. Who says there is not industry in this counlryv Hut the farmer wo saw just now spoilt his whole bushel of corn in the price of two drinks , and the people who do not till Iho soil got away with $10.05. " Captain Mitchell , of the bark Antoine Snla , New York and Havana trade , uam- homo in May , entirely helpless with rheumatism. He wont lo the monnlaiiiH , but receiving no benefit , at his wife's re quest , began to take IIood'HSarsaparilla. Ilo immediately began to improve ; in two months his rheumatism wnsalluono and ho sailed in command of his vessel a well man. Hood's Snrsaparilla. will help j-ou. Sold by all dtnggists. Railway Time Table OMAHA. Tno following Is tlio tline'of nrnvnl and do- piuuuool tiulns liy Cunlial Sliitidiiril time ut tint loi'iil ilppois. Trains til tlio C. . Bt. 1' . , M. & O. nrrlvo niul clopnrl finiu tlii'lr ilopot , corner ot J4ti ! niul Wototinstroou ; I ruins on tlio U.Sc H. , 0. . 11. & Q . nnil K. C. . St. J. & O. H. Irom the . .t M. depot : all olhurs lioui tlio Union 1'aclflo ' ° OPOt' 1UIIDGE TRAINS. Ilrlilffottnln * wn Icavo h. I' , depot nt BJ5 : 117Ti-8lW-H:4U--b:5l ; : : : ( II 10:00 11 sW a. in. , 1:00 : l-a ) l6l ! } II ! ! :00JCH4UJ5UJ : ; : : 0iO : ! (1:05 : 0:10-7:00-11:10 : p. in. Iiciivo trniiBlor lor Onmliu n 7:12 : 15 8:15 : 0:30 : 9li11 : ] 0:3i-IOa7 : HJ7 : a. in. : l:3r-3ia- : --2 ! il0-a)7-la7-0n-UJj : : ! : : ) : : 7 : 0-7:50- 11:5. j > . in. Aitlvnl mill domuturci ol Indus from the trunstvrilovot ut Council llluiia : . NOlnilWCSTKIIN. 0:15 : A. t . Jlnll tmil ICx | > n > s < < . 7:00 r. M I .4D ] ' . M . At'COiiimoiluUim . 4JOl' ; : . M 1 * . M . Uxprc'Bsl . UllvA. M CII1U UIO & HOCK ISLAM ) . 9:15 : A. M Mull niul 7COi : > . M 7:15 A. M . At'coiiiiiiodiitlou . , r > : : tji' . M & : -0 r. M UU > AM .MII.IVAIKIL ; . ST. u , . ! i:10 : A. .M . . .Mull mill HxpiOhS. 7OOi : > .M . M r\iiio.-o til5A.M : UIIICAUO , IIUIII.IMITON QU1MJV. b.'J5AM . Mull iinil txi . . . . 0SO : p. H UiuiM ; . i\pici ; > 3 Ut5 : \ . M . i.oins & . * * : irii * . M. I-ofal.si. l/iils lA'incfis Local OiUOl'.M.TraiisfoiBt.I.oiiIti 1A .TrnnstQr.3:20r.il : KANKARClTV.ST.JOi : * COUNCILUUUKFH. 2:15 : A.M Mull nnil KvprvbS . .7-33P.M yW ; ( i > , M KMIIU-.H . . . 0KA. : M moux CITV i I'.xoinc. 0ViA.M ( SlimxCII > iinil . . .7:00 p. H ( Kill IM Kt. I'niil Uvpiiin . . . . 0'JJ ; A. M Dcuiiit. WiSTWAIIU. ; Arrlvu A. M , , V. M. I UNION 1'At 1 K1C. I A. H , , n M , I s : 0i.l ! ] > iicillo.i\inosa : \ TMa ! . 10IUiv : O.&KUI * . VAIiMJV , . .Mull mill i\pr : . . II. AM. IX NIJII. . .Mnll niul l'\iriS. | ! IUIUu : I''I"1"- ' SOt'TJIWAltl ) . _ Anlvo A. M. I l' . i. iMlhMlt'ltl I'AL inC'.t A. Ji. P. i./ ioiuii : : . ' . inv ) i\pri : . I oriia1 . -1 b51j : ! . . . .Nijjht IliWft I K. I1. , ST. .1. A. U , II. _ 0iq.i : M5I ) ! . .Via I'lntl niuulli. . . ll'IIIU. ) | KOIfl'IIWAlll ) . "A. M. , i > i "t ! . HT. ) ' . . M. .V O. . M. I * . U. . , biou.\ city KMHISS , . flilMJ ' ° * W , ArrtvttJ A.M. I P.M. l r , II A ; Q. A.M. e. iT ! > 20 lilfO " I .Vin I'mtiMiioulli. . , UiU : 7 jn _ STOCK A-AHHi ) TltAINH Will U'livo I' . J' . ilci'Ol. Diniiliii , HI 040-8'J5 ! : " lUl5-JO.rrm. : m.Jill ; ) - ' ! do-rig.i. ] in. l.rnvi'filoLk VnuH for Dmiilm nt 7j"-10-J5a. : . in. : l'.1OI-l:8-l:1ii-3 ! : < ' ilrtiip.in , M ir-A inilindiilly ; Ildn"yivcflpt Siinili. . . , C , dully luccopt fcmunluvi It , ilnily oicopt Moil/ nur. A FINK LINK OD OMAHA , NKHIIASKA. Did you Suppose - pose Mustang Liniment only goodl for horses ? It is for 5nflnmma 1 * * * fc lion of all flesh ,
