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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 31, 1885)
THE DAILY BEE SATURDAY , JANUARY 31 , 1885. t'n'i rnf 'i'ne , comblnlnt ; Iron wllh T " ' ' | i > { ctntilo tnnliemiiltly nnd rominfUif i'nri'it liin'l"ili > , .ndlnrillon , \ \ > ulinrn i I ininirp lllnnil , .Hnlnrlii , ' . lilllunnil 1'rreri , unl Noiiniluln. It is an uiifnliliif.rcaiudy for DlvDMnof t Alilrirr * nml I.lp. . It I ? ItivnUmblo for m cn fe p rtIlrir U oincii , nnd all who lend tcilcntar ; If. M * ' | nol Injure Iho Ipctlijcn-Kchc-Mlnu.- .r lui'o folistlpnllnn othrr Iron9nc < hrirrr , < } < " , enrichesntnl purifies tlipliImiil.Mlrni If i lfi-npjictltu , nidi tliu a'Mmllatlori of fo".i T % . ' \ ' . ' Hcnrtbnrii am ) Hclr-Mnx , < Olt'r- ' r . } Itin1 niiisol < nrit1 ni'rvrt vi Inicrn'iUciit I'pvcrs .jmlturi * J-H > i , ' ' "i tm , , tr , 1 Iiiis no oriURl. * -rhocnniitnc bns nbnvc trsrti > trip > t ' . ' " * ou " M > rr. 'I- " ; ! n. " < , , , itT hiumvfiirnicit , to. mi.Tn- " illnoiismteliiiuu BROAD CLAIN- - TERY BEST OPERATING , QUICKEST SELLING AND Ever offered to the oubllc. iUEUAIEEICiU PACKET COMPANY. Direct Line for England , Franco and Germany. The steamships of this wc'.l known line are built of Iron , In water-tight compartments , anil are lur- nlehoJ with every remilslto to make the passive both sity and agrceablo. They cany the United States and Kuropean molls , and le.-uu New York Thuadays and Saturdays for Hymouth ( LONDON ) Chcrbou ? , ( PAIUS ) and 1IAMI1UHCJ. llatos : Stccra o from Hamburg $14 , to Hamburg 8 ; round trip 8i8. First Cabin , S55 , J85 aud ? 7fi. Henry Tundt Jfark Hanson , , E. Jloores , Jr. Toll , agents In Omaha , Qroncvvevr & S.hncntccn , ajjcntsln Council Blulls. C. 15. 1UCHAUI ) & CO. , Oon. Fass. Agta , 01 Broadway , N. Y. Chas. Koz- mlnaki & Co.OoncraMVc8tcni Agcntf , 170 WashIng - Ing St. . Chicago , 111. _ _ Manhood Restored E. A victim of > outhfullmnrudonca mature Decay , Nen-ousDobilitv , Lost 2Ianhood , to. , having tried in vain every known remodj'bcdiflcovtired nnimplo means of self-euro , which ho will Bend I-'HIjIl tohis follow-eufforors , " ura cure. HOOT rr [ etiCf. ICOFultou f Health is Wealth ! . K. 0. Wiar'sNinTi ASD BRAIN TBBIBHIHT , a lurantoed Bpeolno ( or Qyatoila , Dlzdnega , Coavul- dons , Fits , Nervous Neuralgia , Headtohe , Nervong Prostration oausod by the uae ol aloohol or tobbacoo , WakelulncBS , ilontal deprcBslon. Soltenlng ot the bmln.rejultlnirln Insanity and leaping to misery , deoty and Jj nth , Premature Old age , IHroneea , loss ofpowor In either sai , Involuntary Loesos and Sper- ( ' ttorhoraCAUsed by ovotoiertlontol the brain , ecll- kbnge or over Indulgence. Each box , contains one s montb'a treatment , f 1.00 * boi.or alz bottlei o ; 11.00 , lent by mall prepaid on receipt ol price. WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES Xo cure any case With each order received by na lot elx bottles , acoomplltbed with t&.OO , we will Bond he purchaser our written gnarantoo to refund the money II the treatment does not effect a cure. On r- oteea Issued only by JOUN 0 : WEST & CO. , tCJy Sa.ni4o.ryvHi3M2 Uadlson St. , Chloatto , 111. Ml Chartered by theStateoflllU nois fo jGleetandSyphills in nil their complicated forms , also all diseases of the Skin and Blood promptly relieved and permancntlycureil by remc- < < > . < tr din a forty Yeurt X ] > fctiiiJ'racticr. Scmin.l Vealcncss. Nil-lit Lossc. by Dreams , Pimples on tue 1'ace , Lout Manhood fi'fruretl. . TAcr * a.u < trri > erl it'ntl > i < i , Ths appropriate rc.r.ed > u at once used in each case. Consultations , pet- linal or by letter , sacredly confidential. Mert. Icinet sent hv Mall nnd Express. No marku on to Indicate contents or sender. Addreii Oh JAMESNci. 204Wahingon ! SI.ChcaDOll ? ! , * " " 18 CONDUCTED Tal Havana Lottorvl ( A QOVEBNMENT INSTITUTION. ) Drawn at Havana , Cuba , Every 12 to 14 Days. ICKETS H2.00 , HALVES , 81.00. I Subject to no manipulation , not Controlled by the parties In Intercut. It Is the fairest thing In the nature ol chance In existence. For mlormatlon and particulars apply to SHISEY & CO. , General Agenb , 212 Uroadway , N. Y city. MOLL & CO. , 417 Walnut troet , St. Louis. , Mo. , frank Labrano , L. D. , 20 Wyandotte , Kan. y Sl.m&e & w A FINE LINE 0 P THE ONLY.EXOLUS1VE IN OMAHA * ? NEB , , , ctiUllT " MuhMd preKrlptloo cf a soled ipL lUl ( tied. ) PrpBiUU on all It. AdJrn . - . > WARD ft co..ir-uusjuaa The Elorntor l oy. The elevator boy stood firm Ho couldn't RO up ; Ho wouldn't go up. . Wo waited a pre ldential tenn ; Ho wouldn't RO up : Ha couldn't RO up. Wo hfgfrcd. entreated , oniltd en him ; Ho couldn't ROJ Ho wouldn't ; no ! " 0 come , now , let us up , dear Jim ! Ho wouldn't RO ! J lo couldn't go. Just hero the 1 > lndrry girl Irippod in , "Coino.lltn , " t.iid slio ; . "Como , .llm ; ComoJIm , " And then she chucked him under the chin , TIi.it Fettled him ; That settled Jim Wo all went upas slick as a pin. 110NEJT FOU T11K Black la Iho leading color in hosiery. Butter-coliir is a favorite for evening drcrs. * Sill : Blockings tango frcm $2.10 to $2 ? a pai Cardinal nnd dark blue are very fashion able. Striped and ploid clockings are quite out ol style. 1'iRiirod Chinese tilka are used for the entire - tire drees. An o [ > ern capo Is of white swansdown with a i > nlo blue down border. Colored JITBOVH are trimmed with cascades of lace of the Bauuo shade. Gold brncolots have turquoise forget-mc nets with diamond ccntros. In lieu of sealskin jackets , thort mantles of sealskin will bo worn this season. Lace pins in tlio form of three or four-leaved clover are studded with emeralds. Muffs are sold to match capes , fichus , col lars nnd pelerines of peal or other furs. A superb brooch is n cata-eyo surrounded by diamonds of great size and brilliancy. Among new lining furs comes a long , crinkled , white lloecy fur called Chinese , Bronze nlinpers and royal cardinal silk hose are popular for afternoon wear at homo. Cairngorm jewelry ia shown by the leading houses. It is to bo bad in a vnrloty of slinpes , Old cak is the latest craze for the furniture nnd wood finishing of certain parts of the house , Ten aprons have dainty little bibs and pockets , and are embroidered in floral pat' torus , White evening coatumea are trimmed with silver or gilt braid , and \\ith white , gray or brown down. Ncckletpjof velvet satin , metal and all sorts of materials are worn by women , young girls and children. Long sealskin cloaks , half tight at the back , with loose fronts and wide sleeves , are trimmed with otter. All fashionable wraps , long or short , are held in at the waist line in tha bask by straps of ribbon or clastic. "Velvet collars , tinned down or standing , nro very fashionable. Jabots and gilets of lace are worn with them. The now broeadei nro on silk grounds in stead of satin. Anibeequo designs take precedence - cedenco of those of flowers or leaves. For the coming season velvet effects of silk grounds or silk muslin will be fashionable in Clack silk goods. Grenadine will not bo worn. * Tiny diamond poke bonnets in which are faces cut of moonstone , with pink tinsel Ret beneath the translucent stone to give the flesh tiuts , and diamond toadu and tortoises are some quaint fancies for broaches. It Is said that if a teaspoonful of mustard is mixed with wa".or and molasses , which is usually poured over Lmked beans , there is no danger of the Btoinnch being distressed after eating them. Now that small bonnets and toques are so generally worn , a broad-brimmed Gainsbor ough hat upon a lady's head , especially If she bu young and pretty , renders the wearer doubly attractive , A grey felt hnt with tinned up pointed brim is faced witb bottle green satin. Large bows of the green satin , ornamented with gold pins , are placed in front. Two full ostrich plumes , green and gray mixed , falling over the left side just back of the point complete the trimming. The handsome articles of furnitnra which ara part cabinet and part bookcase are made still more ornamental if a braij rod ia put across the space left for books , and a curtain of plush or velvet is fastened to it by email rings. The curtain should be drawn grace fully toward ono side , not hiding many ol the books. Smelling bottles nro in beautiful design ; a double one of oxidized silver in Persian form haa the ground of tiny daisies in repousse work , upon those are sprays of lillies of the valley. This unique article is valued at S1GO. One of rock-crystal finely engravedi with rock-crystal stopper set in gold , is magnifi cent. It is about five inches long and costs S175. S175.floral floral fringes , sprays , trails , garlands , and pingle llowcrB are used in profusion not only in dresses of lace nnd tulle , but also on satins , brocades and velvets. _ In the latter case , thoy'aro certainly not in plnce , but the fact remains that they are fashionably worn as a proper garniture for velvet. Moulded velvet lowers aud leaves applique on net and used as a garnlturo for evening toilets nro consid ered the height of artistic elegance. A broad crumb omelet is excellent if served with roast lamb or veal ; one pint of bread crumbs , n largo spoonful ef parsley , rubbed very line , half of a tiny onion chopped fine. Beat two cgga light , add n teacupful of milk , a trace of nutmeg , and pepper and salt liber ally ; also a lump of butter the size of a small egg. Mix all together , and bake in a slow oven , on a buttered pie plate ; when light brown , turn it out of the pl.ito and eervu at onco. In the Cas8elGermanynatural [ history mu seum are specimens of the wood of COO differ ent Kuropoan trees , made up in the fonn of a library. Each specimen is in the shape of a volume. The back is formed of the bark , the sides of the perfect wood , and the top of the ynung wood , with narrow rings , the bottom of old wood , with rings wider apart. When the volume is opened it is found to bo a little box , containing the flower , seed , fruit and leaves of the tree , either dried or Imitated in wax , A lady recently made an exceedingly novel and pretty fan , which ha carried at a small fancy dross party , A largo begonia leaf sup plied the model , which wna first made in htout .Bristol board and then covered with pale olive green plush ; tho' veining bejng done in delicately tinted paints in exact imitation of tbo arteries in the begonia leaf. The edcos were neatly joined , and tlio handle being nicely twisted with green satin ribbon , it only remained to pin a bunch of small begonia buds of the natural leaf to this tasteful looking fan , Excellent corn bread la made of two eggs , the whites and yolks beaten separately , and very light , one pint of corn meal , a good lump of butter about the size of half an egg. ono quait of boiling milk , half a teaapoonful of salt , put the lump of butter into the hot milk , then while stirring witb one hand scatter the meal in with the other , a little at a time , so Uut there will bo no danger of lump * , when entirely smooth add the yolk and then the white of the eggs. Have a bread pan well buttered , pour the mixture into it , and bake in a quick oven. Nuxt to white , which has been Immcnsly popular thus far this season , pink has been the favorite hue for ball dresics , and of thin exquisite color there are some new shades el bhuli ; ese and shell pink that are exception ally lovely nnd becoming , The 'sprinkled tulles , ' as they are called , whether the orna ment ) are gold and diver flowers , U-edi , chenille , or little tufta of silk , are by no mourn confined exclusively to pale colors. Gold and liver dots on pale pink or blue were at fust quite popular , but they were quickly imitated in flimsy nnd cheap tnrlotans , and BO lost all favor , PEPl'EllMiNI DIIOPS. Burglars who break Into grocery stores this winter complain that tbe plea are no longer young , The new United States tonator from Cali fornia U the Hon. Mr. S. ? ? S.-Pluadelphla [ ! 1'reis. It was a deserter who laid : "I'd rather bo a coward all my life'than be a coipse fifteen minute * . The man who bets a hat on election In Mexico had better ( ay fomelhing about the price. They make hats down there that sea for SCOO. l'ost.igo on a pulr of tliocs j at the rate ot ciders and a Chicago girl ono cent an ounce , her font gear to bo sent by freight. "Promises are hko pie crujt , made to ba broken , " says the old adoge. but this saying originated before railway plo was invented. [ Texas SIftitiff. , "Promises are like pia crust , made to bo broken , " says an old adage. The man who originated that paw evidently never tackled ft wrdlng hoit'o plo. - [ Lowell Citizen. "There nra Vo.l and b d points about this cclfco , " said the boarder in a judicial tone. "Tho good point is that there ii no chlckory in it ; the bad , that there Is no colfeo in it. ' The son of an llngheh peer , It Is nalil , is employed as a car starter t a depot in 1 Itts- burg. Ho does very well In the prmIt-on for a man uhoso ancestors never did anything but l af. The thermometer at Savannah , Ga. , fell to 3D0 and It was called a "blizzard. " The thermometer - momoter at Pierre , Dakota , rosa to czro and the Piorroites congratulated themselves on the "January thaw. " A St. Louia man , an American , who was captured lost fall by Italian brigands , has just returned to ilita country minus an oar. It is supposed that ono of the brigands want ed material for a satchel [ Philadelphia Call. When rapid transit is finished , Brooklyn married men will have to invent now excuses for being hnmo Uto. With the bridge and the elevated road n Brooklyn man's llfo Ii being - ing made n hideous dream. [ Brooklyn limes "Does the shining steel blade which I hold in my hand canto excruciating pain ? " Inquired the Oil City barber.VhnU" "I aikod if the razor hurt you. " "Is it a razor ? ' ' "Of course it is. Why ? " "I thought it was a saw. but If you are euro it is a ra/.or , go ahead. " Penitentiary Official If you have any trade , prisoner , Plato it. and we'll put you to work at it. Prisoner ( just entered ) Well , bos" , 1 was bruug HP as a bartmider , aud I'd like to work at that. He was put tc the bars of the casting pot of the foundry , as the near est mode of accommodating him. [ Iluntsvlllo ( To * . ) Item. A Florida young man who bought a pair of shoes that were too small far him stuffed them full of beans and water and left them over night. In the morning ha found them three sizes too largo , while the floor was covered for several yards mound with gigantic swollen beans. Wo advice Chicago thee dealers to have this item htereotyped and pasted In pvery cair of ehoea they sell.-Burlington [ Frea Press. On the Boston Street Caro. Diearily dawned the heavy day And the hSurs crept wearily by , _ And the raw east wind from the dismal bay O'erclouded the dull gray sky. But the summer of hope shone in his face , For the boy was bravo and young , And the day crept by at a funeral pace , And the passing houw were rung. And thn old days wont and the now days came , And the weeks went limping past ; Old Time was spavined , Ktennty lame , But the end must come a't last. So wrinkled and blind , and white ai snow , When life's long race was run ; Ho reached the place where he started to go When his hall-mile journey begun. Oh , woo is the man in Bostn town Who climbs on the cars to ride , For he'll think that the town , when ho gettoth down , Is four hundred thousand miles wide. [ Boil BuniElTE. BUJSICAIj AND DUAMAIO. Lewis Morrison will join Henry Irving's company next season , Margaret Mather now has an interest in Haverly's theatre , Chicago. BThe Howard Athentcum in Boston is to bo rebuilt upon a costly Hcale. Miss Harknoss , an American violinist , is now touring Austria with great success , Great success is attending the engagemenl of ICdwm Booth nt the Fifth avenue theatre. Maurice Strakosch proposes to bring Mmu. Fides Dovries to this country for a tour next season. The Now York Star Theater is understood to bo m the market at the price of upward ol $230,000. London dudes lament that Lillian Hussol ! has grown too stout to further command theii romantic interest. Mme. Januschowsky 13 Hinging Prince Methcsalem'a part in Boston with tin McCnuIl company. Manager Abbey is already engaging the company to support Mary Anderson in bet American tour next season. Mile. Van Zandt will shortly lead a season of French opera in London as prima donna in "Lakme , " "Mignon" and "Mirella. " The corps do ballet of the Paris Grand Opera comprises 1,027 women , and seme ql them , incredible as it may seem , are beauti ful. Ellsler is to start out starring in May , with a now play written expressly for her. She will bo supported by her husband , Krauk Weeton , as leading man. Clara Louise Kellogg sang bef era the Prince ton students one night last week. Vfo believe she also sang before some of the Princeton stu dents were horn. [ Springfield Union. 8 The sheet-iron curtain gets a great deal of credit as a modern contrivance , yet it is really no novelty at all. Thirty yoais ago Jake Johnoon , the stage carpenter tof the Boston museum , put an iron curtain in place in that historic house , Female violin players liavo become fashionable - able in Europe since Von Bulow made Mil. Neruda famous by calling her a violin fairy. The latest hit is that of JNlIss Nettle Carpou- ter , an American , who is playing in concerts with Sims Reeves. Aftsr vowing for many years that she would never sing in "La Traviata , " fair Emma Abbott haa finally succumbed , andnp peared as Yioletta in San Francitco two weeks ago. The performance was the moet success ful of the cntuo season , Mrs. Agnes Booth's eons have both made their debut ou the professional fitngu at tha Grand opera hnuso In New York the oldeit , recently as the Foreman of the Jury in "Col. Sellers , " with Mr , llaymond and the est , as the call boy in "JSi ouche , " with Among the workingwomen ( f I'aris there are 1,027 who earn their living a ( .ballet danc ers at the opera , receiving wagf varying from & 225 to S376 a year. Ueside-a t.ils , Iho man agement furnishes the ladies w ) , h every requi site , except cold cream and rice powder. The annual sum paid for and to the ladies of the ballet la considered to amount to § 850- 000. 000.London London Is striving to be the most musical of all capitate. Concerts are as plentiful as tha stars in the heavens. But the very latent variety Is the musical table d'hote. The Hoi- born restaurant was tha pioneer in this sort of entertainment , nnd the Adelpbiaud Criter ion restaurants have promptly followed its ex ample. Dinner at a fixed price , with English HOURS aa an aid to digestion , are proving quite attractive. "Halstrom , " in the New York Times says : Poor George 0. Mllti , ex-parson , ex-actor , ox- lecturer , ex-almost everything , I see that he has gone to pieces on an unapprcciativu pub- he once more. I remgrndcr the genial George some years back , He was on a free excursion with Henry Ward Boecherup in the Catskill and lie scratched his lip or met with some other similarly extraordinary accident , He Implored me not to rush into print and alarm the public. I yielded The next day a Brooklyn paper told all about the horrible dlsatter in a half column of adjectives. And the signature to the story detailing It was u , U , * H , SINGUJjtlUITIIDS. Sharks have'eyelida , whalca have none , California produces figa which meaxuro over eight inches in circumference , A pearl haa been found on the WesternAus- trallau coast valued at 20,000. It haa been discovered that crows Imvo no lem than twenty-seven different criej , each distinctly referable , to a different action. P. T , Barnum is likely at an early day to be blessed with , the care of an Infant Jumbo , and Biidgepwt , Goun , , is duly excited nt the irospect of § uch an extraordinary addition to ho brute census , In a ( loop test boroatBloomington , Indiana , L'otidam sandstone h s been reached at a depth of 2 , If,0 feet. It Is supposed to bo the stratum of fine ( tone which crops out In Mich- gannnd eUouliere. Kvcry EP JIM furnished exnmplesof persons sweating blocd. H is most common , in fe males , especially in nervous and hysterical women , and Is most frequently produced by e mo overwhelming inflntal emotion , making ; lie nemo of Mich peiturbing passions us terror aiiRuith mid despair. The Urge t bridge In Iho world crosses Lake roncliaitrniii , nt Now Orleans , and ia twenty-two miles in length. H is trestlework - work , on piles , and is made cf cypress wood which was first saturated with creosote oil. which render * it impervious to moisture nnd proof ngaimt the attack of barnaclee. A mountain explorer Juit returned from Asia states tint during a four months resi dence ) nt a height of more thin lo.OCO feet nboM- that Ids pulee , noimally sixty-three beats per minute , tddom fell below 1UO beats per minute , and his respirations were often twice M numerous as at ordinary levels. A now building material a mixture of cork , filhca and lime Is coming into exten sive use in ( leimany. It has the advantage of keeping out heat and cold , and is nhn claimed to bo an excellent pu'vpnlive of damp and deadener ot aonnd. It it substantial , light and durable , and seems to bo especially adapted for ceilings and wall linings. The number of plant specimens known at botanists has bcon placed at JIOO.OOO , but il seems there aw many still lunknown. Lasl summer > n English botanist made an exciir slon of but fifty miles Into the mountain ! from Canton , China , and of the 820 specimeni procured , fifteen proved wholly BOW t < science. A Galnsville , Georgia , family named Smith is thoj possessor of nn old-timo clock , whicl kept good time for twenty-live years , up t < about six years ngo , when it stopped , and n < amount - f fixing could Induce Its pendelun ti work. Several weeks ago , the husband beini confined to his bed with a fatal disease , tin long forgotten clock at midnight pealed fortl tliu hour of 11 ! The clock did not tick , bu' ' stood as silent as before. ] 'reci ely twelvi days afterward , and on the twelfth honr , Mr Smith died. Courting in a CtUtor. If your lieart with love is laden For Urn girl acre s the way , And you wish to win the maiden , Take her lidlng in a sleigh. It will put her in a llutter And you'll make an easy mash , For within a dashing cutter You can surely cut a da h Besides , in a sleigh , wherever you go You needn't haye fear of the tcautifuls "no.1 r Jackson's Jingles , RELIGIOUS. Mr. Spurgeon haa started .for Mentono , fo : a period of rest and restoration. llev. K. 1' . Hammond is conducting n sue ccssful revival iu Wellington , Salpp , Eng land. Bishop Ilendrickson , of Khoda Island , ii ia poo&health und will soon pa south to re cuperate , * The salary of Francis Aibury , the fire Methodist bidhop in this country , was 564 anc his traveling expenses. The centenary thank-offeiinps of the Moth odlst Episcopal church , south , at last report : ammountedto 81,107,010. An effoitwillb made to roach two millions. The now ] ? oman Catholic church of St Paul the Apostle , at Ninth avenue and Fifty ninth street , New York , which is the larges church in the country , except the cathedra on Fifth avenui , was consecrated with elabor ate ceremonies , iu which Archbishop Corn gan , Archbishop Kyan and twelve bis > hop took part. The church was built by th Paulist Fathers at a cost of about S2GO.OCO. The First Presbyterian church at Thomp eonvillo , Conn. , celebrated the fiftieth anm vursary of its Sunday school last Frida ; night , and dedicated a new chapel. Three d the original founders and eight pupils wer present. A debt of $1,500 was more thai provided for iu twenty minutes. The English Baptists report 1,001 churches 2,891 chapels ; sitting , accommodations. 882 , 503 ; 1,434 pastors , and 384,013 Sunday echoo pchonrs ] , with 39,035 teachers. This is an in crease since last year of 25 churches , 7/J37 sit tings , 19 pastors. 29,212 Sunday school schol lard and 1,037 Sunday school teachers , and ; decrease of 32 chapels. The Jewish Times says : ' 'We are- now am always have been in favor of the greatest toleration oration in religious matters , but wo beltov that a line may bo reached , to step beyoni which is a violation of moral law , of conscienc and true manhood. This line is reached whei wo come to infringe upon the sacred Jcwisl Sabbath , with traditions set in solemn convic tions.1' As an interesting historic fact relating t the introduction of Methodism to Salem Conn. , Mr. H. B. Kaybold , of Sllverton Ocean county , N. S. , forwards the following copied from the manuscript diary of the Ilev Richard Swain : Fourth day , November 14 1702 : Went and preached the first tw < Methodist sermons that was over preached ii Salem , and , as there was much people and th house Email , there was another kind man tha opened hia doors for preaching the next time and I was kindly entertained by a Presbyter inn family , I think we shall eeo good don hero. A. Crank iu tlio Bnrborjs Clmir , I'm only a barbarous barber , A butt ( or the jokes of the press , To most men no malice I harbor , Such matters could never distreFs. There's one who embitters cx'stenco ' And fills mo with eorrow and care , With his surly , ill-natured parsiitonco , The crank m the barber's chair. I ewoar by the wig of my father , By the switch of my mother-in-law , By my razor , my biush and the lather I raise when I'm shaving a jaw , I'll slash him , and carve him and oat him , I'll pull him around by the hair , I'll baste him with bay-rum and beat him , That crank in the barber's chair , I'll gag him with soap and I'll choke him , I'll ekln him and cut oil his nose : With my shears I'll wllup and poke him. . From his forehead clean down to hia toes , Then I'll ' swallow my razor and strop , To end my barbaric despair , Then you'll lay me down next to tha chap. . The crank in the harbor's chair. chair.W. -W. S. C , IBIWETIES. " Triplets should be baptised in the Trinlta riau faith. Prayer-books are made with a bouquel bolder on tire outside in which to place BOHR white flowers , Tahnigo'a pews rented for more than Beecher'a. Comedy ia more profitable in those days than tragedy. An avalanche in the Ilautoa Alpea crushed a church the other day in which n number ol parsons wore worshipping. What would have been eaid had it been a theatre ! Did the diseased die under suspicious clr cumstances ? " asked a coroner of a rural wit net * . "Naw , he didn't ; he died in the watei under the ice.- [ Providence News. The United Presbyterian believe ! that : person can live and dia a Christian without knowing it. But a more important queBtior. It , Can a person live anJ die a Christiana with out somebody else knowing it ? Parson Whangdoodlo Baxter distinguished himself once more at tha funeral of an aged colored man : "Our deceased brtidder wm married fcah times during his life , " bald Whangdoodle , "but only one ob de widowi am BO fortunate as to be able to survive Inn long enough to be present on dla hoah solemn ! iou ocaihun. " [ Texas Sittings. Some of the English church papers hav < been reproducing the results of hymn-learning by certain not very well-taught children ! "Ilia thorns compose BO rich a crowij" is ren deied "Hawthorns compose BO rich a crown ' "Hast all our fathers led" comes ont "JIai stole our father's lead ; " and another line , thi origin of which can not be traced , is "He favi some briu < a Iniforo bo burst , " An Evangelist named Kirl recently held revival m Virginia City , Nov. He didu'l convert the people up to the standard wuallj in force here , but be did very well consider ing , At one of the meetings a gambler' ; wife arose to testify to the good elfect he was hav inff on the community , "Why , " the said , 'before Hrothcr Varl came hora my huslwnd nod to run n reg'lar brace , but now , thankl to Brother Karl's Christian teaching , hos Icaling as square a game a1 * there is In v it- glnia City.-f Denver Opinion. Always Took Ills Vnrt. When e'er at school SOUK' bigger boy Would pound mo 'till I'd smart , My brother'd jump into the fray And kindly take my pnrt. When o'er at home our mother gave To M each half a tart , My brothor'd pet mo oil nlono And kindly "take my part.1 - [ Jcf Joeljn , in Kvansvlllo Argm. UONNtmiiYlilTlES. Tom Thumb's vsidow has her eye once more on matrimony. A newly-married couple at Banpor wore so ba h'nl that they would not allow the oventto be published In the papers. Miss Hooper , only daughter of Mr. Wil liam Hooper , of Cincinnati , is snid to 1)3 en gaged to a eon of the Counters Pouttales , of Parts. "A Boston girl is going to marry Professor Kdmundi , one of the men who devised zone standard time.1 The marrlngo will bo n hap py one if come fiendish poragraphist dce n't rush iu with the remark that the professor is anxious to call her is zone. [ Norristuwn Her- kid. kid.A farmer came over from Canada to Uochrs- tnr , and , falling in love with a pretty waiter girl , tent her , on his return , &IOO to go to Canada and marry him. The young woman , however , does not return his love , nud , at latest advices , has not returned his money. [ Boston Transcript. "Tho man that I marry , " tald Clara , "must bo handsome , rich , brave , clever aud good- tempered. " "But how will you discover that ho possesses all those iimilitlttt" " 1 can see for myself if ho is hauntomu ; and can easily a'OTtatn if ho is rich. 1 don't eo much mind about the others. " ] lore is a marriage notice from n Quebec newspaper : "D'Kntremont D'Kntrcmont At St. Peter's church , West Pubnico , Decem ber tilth , by Kev. William Mcheod , Dennis D'Kntremont , the eleventh child of Domin ique D'Entremont , to Sarah. ) . D'Kntrcmont , also the eleventh child of Finncls J. D'Kn tremont. " Nicholas Van Horn , a well-to-do farmer and widower , of HttbcrBhan , Gn. , and the father of two children over thirty years of age , mar ried on Monday Miss Ivy , a cnild of twelve During the ceremony the child began to sob _ , when the old man patted her on the head in a fatherly manner , and wiped away her tears with Ilia bif bandana. The Small Boy's Slide. The small boy takes his sled And hies him to the hill , With many a sinilo , To elide awhile , But an of old Ho catches cold , And for a mouth quite ill He has to stay in bed. [ Chicago Sun. AMONG THE AGED. David Dudly Field will bo eighty In Fob ruary. The wifa of Norman Lovoll , the lately de Sensed king of the largest bands of Gypsies ic this country , died last May at the ago o ICO. ICO.Mrs. Mrs. Carpenter , a lady of Durham , Me. died last week , aged 84. She was the first U die of a family ot seven , whose ages averagec 81 years. The reason that Mrs. Sarah Lord , of Nortl Berwick , Maine , lived to bo nienty-nint years old may be that until four years ago she never saw a train of cars. Mrs. Susan Ferguson , who died last montl near Portland , Maine , is known to have beer a hundred years old , and believed to liuvobeei a hundred and six. Four English judges still pursuing the ! judicial labors into venerable old age ar Vice Chancellor Bacon in his 87th year Judge Petersdorf ! in his 85th and Judg Hulton and Judge Bayloy each In his 83c year. | ISylyiaDuboico , a negress.who celebrated he llGth birthday last August lives in destitu tion on the bleak summet of Lowland moun tain , Now Jersey , and is believed to bo th oldebt person in the United States. A CARD. To.ill u ho arc suffering frame Cor and Indigestions of jimth , nerxous weakness e&il ; decay , loss of manhood , etc. I nil ! send a reccip that will euro you Fltnn OF CHAHQE. This jrea remedy was discov cred by a missionary to Soutl America. Send eelf-addrcseed emclonu to KEV. Jo SKi-ii T. IMIAN Station "D. " New York. An export base ball player tried tc catch a ball thrown from the top of the Washington monument , but w.ia unable to hold it. So great was its velocity that it dented the ground like a cannot ball. DunKnu's SALAD IIIESSINO & COLI MBAT-SAUCK for all kinds of salads , lish eatables , and cold meats. Cheaper am butter than homc-mado. No Banco erjua to it was over offered. The ladies should understand thai frith the opening spring , with Ita fresh leafage and lovely flowers , the only fit ting costume for the trlcydu is the bloomer. YOUNGMBN ! KE/VI / > THIS. TUB VOLTAIB BELT Co. , of Marshall , Mich. , offer to send their celebrated EtKCino-VoL- TAIO BELT and other KI.KOTIHO Ari'LiANOKS or trial for thirty days , to men ( young or old ] afllicted with nervous debility , loss of vitality and manhood , and all kindred troubles. Also for rheumatism , neuralgia , paralysis , and many other diseases. Complete restoration to health , vigor and manhood guaranteed. No risk is Incurred as thirty days trial is allowed. Write thorn at onca for illustrated pamphlet free. The Bon Homrao , Dakota , homo mla- aionary llva in a log structure that was built for a whisky abop , was then trans formed into a einoko honso for hams and bacon , and next became a clergyman's studio. Angostura. Blttcra , the world renowned appetizer and invigorator. Used now over the whole civilized world. Try it , but beware of imitations. Ask your grocer or druggist for the genuine article , manufactured by Dr. J , G B , Siegert & Sous Twenty European tnoatrcs receive state aid in eums ranging from $35,000 to § 100,000 a year. Ilorslord'o Acid : IK BKASICKNE8H. Pr.or. ADOLPU OTT , Now York , nays : "I mod it for eenaicknooii during an ocean passage. In most of the cases , the violent symptoms which characterize that disease yielded , and gave way to a healthful action of the functions 1m- pairod. Pendulums of clocks wore Invented In 1G41. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ SKIN UIBK&HKH CUHKI > , By Dr. Frazler'a Maple Ointment. Cures If by magic : Pimples , Black Heads or Grub Blotches und Eruptions on tha face , leaving the ekin clear and beautiful. Also cures Itch , Salt Uliourn. Sore Nipples , Sere Lips and old , Obstinate Ulcers Sold by druggists , or mailed on receipt price. CO centa , Bold by Kuhu & Co. and 0 , F. Goodman. In many counties In Tennessee there are no carriage roads , and horseback is the only mode of locomotion. . * Var Thront DIHCIIHCH and COUUIIH BKOWN'B UiiONOHiAL TUOCHEB , like all really GOOD thingf , are frequently Imitated , Tliu QKNU1NB AUK bOtl ) ONLY 1V 1SOXKH. In a limestone/ quarry , sixty feet be neath the surface , a human jaw-bono wa recently found , being of great size and In a perfect state cf preservation , I'rcf from Oplnltt , I ii A PROMPT , SAFE , SURE CURE I'or Ooiitli , Rore Tliraiit , HonrmirM , InHm-iu Col.l * . llrnnclillK Crmip , N hooping Cough , Atllinui , liiln > , l'nln ln I'lunt , ! ftl > Itflr th.lit.'rthc-TllMMll " ' "I I.ut\ff . 1'rlco RO cent * n twttlo 9oU ! > v PrnicltUnn4 IVnl- era J\irllri tinnblt I" native iMrdniln lnf > r > nnjinu irtll rnrl > > r > niiillr < rr rrt rilnMus.t.riirttschargt * til it tittino one itntMr ti > THE ( II U1U S A. A OI tuU } 0 Tr M i llnlltmorr , it , VJ. fl , I. rrom o\p ° ricnco 1 thinkSnid's Spcclflo iiarry t-alunblo reincily lor cutaneous diseases , and nt the sumo time tin InvlcotntlnR tonic. JAMFS JAChSov , Chief Justlro ol Qa , Athnta.Scpt. ISgli INOCtltATKI ) POISON.-Altcr trylns all th ether rpmcdles.Stt Ift'a Srociflo has cured mo Bounc and cllul a terrible blood lolion o iitr Acted I re in nurse. MRS. T. W. l.SE , Qreen\ille , Ala. POISON OAK. A laily liotc has been ciitlrcl cured o ( ] olson oak | nlsonln the IHO of t\\o bottle ol S. S.S. H. S. UliADloRU.Tiptcinlllc , Tcun. ULCKIIS 26 YKAIIS. A member ol my churcl h s been cured ol an u'ccratuleg \ ol 2S years statul Inz with t " bottloiot S ill's KpccclHc. 1' . II. CKVM : Lv-R , Tutur Moth , Ch. , Macau , Oa. S lIt' Spc inch entirely > Cfrctablo , Trcatlie on Illood and Skin Ulscaecs mailed Irco. ThoSwiKTSrHcincCo , UraucrS , Atltnta Gao 160V. . S3d St. , N. Y. _ * PSend two stamps for CVlpbratcd U cdlcalWorki , Address , r. I ) . CI AKKU , Jtl. . , aBS Soull. Clark Street , CHICAGO , ILL. J HUM n ( > nmrr llnunyniutMIt It tIKTd'H itll ImniH-'tfi itlj. ' \\riti H n inutu cr lliimlrnlKof p nillartiMuno. , , . - - nlnln , us well as thoio trom leriitnblc | ib\r1duii throiiKlimit tluibnlo t' H .testify to tlu'wortb of HORLICK'3 FOOD TOR INFANTS AND INVALIDS ! ItrqulrcH no cookliiK. Jlc t food In lipalth or Kick- . 4ftinlTfictH. ( ) Ily nil drnirviHtK Hook t- . 's I.-JMHI c < r. . KiTciT * , * . il ou rocclit ) of jitlcu iu M tuui > 3.-i WEAK , UNDEVELOPED JARTS OK.TIIK1UIMAN HOilV KMiAU(3ii : > . 1HV < T n i n n n t 1 n n g rn nln'iii i i m ptr. . quirioH\yo _ _ wiUfcflv _ that. lhn-ui iioiwii < 'i 'noiluirii- InigfilioiitthifCj OntliB rnnt"rnr\ TiuU > 'rtiM'r jini \fryjijgily ) iiiclorspd.Ljli'H'rPhtmlJJH'r ' nns i iimv nti pnnloti ciriMilnr * * i nrtipiilnrs iiv 'nihlr p G17 St. Charlps S . , St. I-onls , 3Fo , { iBftgeii In the spcemtreatiueJtof CHUOMC , I'tirm * HXI and Hi. no DisiAitathnn iu other ljy ) Irtaa la > t. I-ccL ) , u city tM'cri ' show ana ml old residents know. Nervous Drcstratfori , Debility , Mental ? n4 Ptiysical Weakness , Mc-rcurial and other Affr"- Itons of Throat. Skin or Bones , Blood Poisoning , Dill SorcS 2nd UlCCrs , nro trea-l ! with uui'ralilji taccru , nn latcit * clcntltlo prlncir'n'i. Safely , rrhi' ly. Diseases Arising frum lndlscrctionf xcc& % Exposure Or Indulgence , * hlrh protluee 'ome of tin foHoMiuir fftcetj ! uertoiiiDfsi , debility , dli it of ilgt4 toil defeclhe memory , pimple * od llio f c , fh/flual dceaj ( rerilon to the toelttj of fcmnlfn , cotifml ofdr t , eta jcnderincr MarriaRO improper or Tin nappy , J , I'tinipliiet < 36 tageajontlie ttiove , IQ * t teakJ rn elopt1 , frc te nr aJdrtsi , Consultation ftt J CflOcr tij DiBlin-oc. unJluTltod. Wrlto for iust oni. A Positive Writren Guarantee ftlr-i In nil CDnblcraJcs. MptllcInesRciil evrrynh rc. 1'ariplllcts , English or German , H4 imcei , 'It- jcribiiieuboTodiKoojcs lnmaoor ! fctnal .Fl'-SX \VmpurIJylho BLOOD.'rctm. l.itu Uiu LIVEn unil KIDNEYS. am ! JtKHToim TNI ; IIKAXTU nnd VIOOK of VOXJTIL lf licnsl'i , Wantol Apni'tlto , JIL illKLttlon , l.ack or blleiiRth. cured. nerves receive in whircc. Jrllvun3 tliu mind and KtippMcB llraln rower. ' BnlfciliiKirorii uoiniil.ilnf ) ' pucullarlo tliclrscx vlil Hnd InDK. El'tlirEH'SIUON TONIO u fnl.i nnJ fl > cedy euro. ( Ulves a clear , licallliy comiilcxlnn. Frciucnt fcticmptB at co-ir > t < atfeuliif oiils uuU lo Ilioiioiiiilarlly ol'llio oiliTln-il. Uunulcxpcrl > mcnt KC'tilio OIUCINAI , J NI > lib ST. /f Head your luldrr 8 to'l hn I ) r. ] Inrt r Med.Ol.'K , St. Louis , Mo. , for our "DKKAM BOOK. " IS i V wtallof etronyo und iuetal.tuamialu > a.reaJF J ave a posltlvo remod/ IhOKboro dUoam j by Iu coo thounftniliofcatoaol thn worat klndttndnf lou itaQdlnirhatot'ecii ' cured. Indflod.f oBtrnnRH my rait InUHttllcucir.tlmtlulll inn.lTVV ( ) HOTT1.1 S 1 KKB toctthcr > vlUiiVAIUAIIl.lTlUATIbKonlhlldlnj ! i loMuyaurfrrer. alveexprcisina I * O addrtta , Jll. J" . A. 6J.OUUM , III r arlSt.N w York , m & otmood&wSCt MEDICAL AND SURGICAL DISPENSARY ROUNSE'S BLOCK , .loth and Capitol Avenns , treats all eaten Clip pled or Dsloirnod also disease * ol IL Nervous System , Throat , Lungs and Urinary Organs All ease ) o Onrvaturo ol the Spine , Crooked Feet [ * gs and Aims , Diseases ol the Hip , Knee , and Ankle Joints. Also Chronlo aOecttons olttioLlm Rheumatism , Paralyelu , Illes , Ulcers , Oitarrh , Aitb ma and Bronchitis are all treated by mw and suo- oeeulul methods. All diseases ol the Dlood and Urln- iry Organs , Including thoee roaaltlng from Incllcre- lion , or exposure , are eilolj aud suocoasfuUy treated Youuif men , rpJadle aged , and old men luKeilng Jrom Weakness and Nervous eihaustloi riroduclo indigestion , Palpitation ol the Heart , Desjiondoncy DirilnoM , Loss ol Uemory.Lack ol Energy and Am bition , can bo restored to health and vigor , II case Is not tfo long neglected. The Surgeon In charge was president ol the Northwestern Surgical Insti tute aud Surgeon oil ho National Burglcal Institute. II afflicted , caller writelull description cl year cue , and medlolne may be sent yon. Consultation 'roe. ' Ad dret'Omaha Dispensary , Crouiue Block , Omaha , Neb. Offloe honri 10-11 a. m.,1-1 a 7-8 p. B > Soadavs. > 10 a m. Beware ol all traveling ajcut * . Vft hate none. Scad lor circular * The romnrkablo grovrth of Omixhr. during the last few yonrn la infiitof ol gront aatoulohmciit to thoao trho pay nn oscanlonnl vlelt to this grovrlug city. The development of the Stoov Ynrds the nocoaalty ot the Bolt Llnb llond the finely paved otrcota the hnndroda of no coaldoucoa aud costly bnalnosa blooka , with the population of oar city inora than doubled In the laat Cvo yoara. All thin la A gront anrprlao to vloltora nud la the admiration of onr olttiona. Thin rapid growth , the bnaluoaa activity , and the many anbatnntlal Improvomuutn madn n Hvoiy demand for Omaha real oatato , and cvory Invoatoi haa m do a handaomo profit. Slnco the Wall Street panto May , with the anbaoquout cry of hard tlinosr there haa boon iona demand from apocula- tors , bat a fair demand from Invoatorc Booking homoa. This latter class are taking advantage of low prlcca In bnlld- Ing material aud are aocnrlng tholr homoo at much loaa coat than will be possible B year honco. Spocnlatora , too , can buy real oata' ' a cheaper now and ought to take advautipo of present prlooa foi future pro U. The next tW yoara promlaoa groaton divolopmeuta In Omaha than the paafc livj years , which have bcon aa good ao wo could reaaonably doelro. Now man- nfactnrlng oatnbllahmonta and largo job bing houses are added almost weekly , nidi all add to the prosperity of Omaha. There are many In Omaha and through- bnt the State , who have tholr money la the banka drawing a nominal rate of toroat , which , if jndlclonaly Invoatod 1 Omaha real ottato , wonld bring thorn much greater returns. Wo have many bargains which wo are confident vrllB bring the purchaser largo profits In the near fntnre. Wo have for sale the finest resi dence property in the north and western parts of the city. North we have fine lots at reason able prices on Sherman avenue,17th , 18th , 19th and 20th streets. West on Farnam , Davenport , Cuming , and all the leading streotn in that direction. The grading of Farnam , Califor nia and Davenport streets has made accessible some of the finest ami cheapest residence property in the city , and with the building of the street car line out Farnam , the pro perty in the western part of the city i i i * will increase in valun We also have the agency for the Syndicate and Stock Yards proper ty in the south part o the city. The developments made in this section by the Stock Yards Company and the railroads will certainly double the price in a short time. We also have some fine business lots nud some elegant inside resi dence ? for sale , Parties wishing to invest will find some good bargains by calling u BROKERS. 213 , South 14th Bt , Bet.reen Fornham nnd Douglas. p. g , "We ask those who property for sale nt a bargain to IB a callWe want only bargama- We will positively not handle prop erty at more than its real value. / . 1