OMAHA DAILY BEE-THDRSDAy , JUNE 12 , 1884 ,
R. Eice Bff. D. |
H I Unt'DCJ ' or other tntnoM reraoreii without lh
UUltUtlIlU | knllo ot drawing o ! MooJ.
CHRONIC DISEASES o. . , * .
Orer thirty jpirs rractlcAl expetltno * Office No
C P tl tract , Council Ulufft
ilTConcultatlon trto
W.R.VAUCHAW.
Justice of the Peace ,
Omaha and Goutwll Blnffr.
estate collco Ion agcm Oil Fe ! - )
wivlnss buit ,
*
*
ACOD S1H3. K. P. CADWKW ,
SIIY13& CADWELL ,
Attorneys-at-Law ,
COUNCIL BLUFFS , IOWA
Ofllco , Main Street , llooma 1 and Bhugart & Uo
Vahon'i Block , Will practice In State and drrt
court *
SUODIS PAPER WAREHOOSE ,
Graham Paper Co. ,
! 17 and 219 North Main Et , Bt Louis.
WIIOLESAtK DEAtEKS IN
BOOK , WIUTINQ
NEWS ; , } PAPERS , !
KMVtCLOPKS , CARD 130AHD
IT' . PRINTER'S STOCK
ii.
ii.h CJTCaih paid for Haea of nl
Nebraska Cornice
AND-
LV
' < * r
MANUFACTUnKOS OF
GALVANIZED IRON CORNICES
FINIALS , WINDOW CAPS ,
TIN , IRON AND SLATE ROOFING ,
PATENT UETAUO SKYTJCinT ,
Iron Fencing ]
Crortlnprn , Balustrades , Verandas , Office and 13anl
Railings , Window and Cellar Oiurds , Eto.
COR O. ANDCth 8TREE"1 , LINCOLN NED.
ALONG THE LINE OF THE
Chicago , ; St , Paul , 'Minneapolis ant
OMAHA RAILWAY.
The now extension ot thla line from WakeQeld U )
the
BEAUTIFUL VALLEY of the GAN
through Concord and Coleridge
Roaches the best portion ot the State , SpoclM ex
curelon ratoa tor land icekera over tills line tc
Wayne , Norfolk and Hartlngton , and \la Blair to al
principal points on the
SIOUX CITY & PACIFIC RAILROAD
Trains ever tht C. , St. P. M. & O. Hallway to Cov
ncton , Sioux City , Ponca. Ilarttngton , Wajno anc
Norfolk ,
t'ot Fremont , Oakda o , Nell h , and through to Va !
cntlne.
STFor rates and all Information call on
F , P. WIHTNEV , General Agent.
HE BRUNSWICK , IBALKE , COL
LENDER COMPANY ,
tsuccEssona TO THE J. K. B. & a co. ]
THE MONARCH
The most extensive manufacturers ot
IN THE WOULD.
EOD S. Tenth Street OMAHA , NEI
rirl'riccs of nilllrd and Fool Tables and material
furnished on application.
Billiard , Ball Pool , Carom
AND ALL OTIIUH QAMINO TAKLKS. TEN PI.
HALLS. CIIKC'KS , KTC.
18 South 3d Street , Bt. Louis , 411 Delaware Stroc
Kaunas City , Ho. , r32l l/ouglns St. . Omahn , Neb.
HENRY 1IORNBEIIGER ,
Agent.
Write for Catalogues and Prtca List * .
DISEASES OP THE
EYE & EAE
J , T. ARMSTRONG , M. D. ,
OotxllMt : n.xa.d
Until otBcei arc repaired from result ol fire , offl
with Dr. Parker. Iloom E , Crclgbton Block K
urn DougMNtr oeta.
Western Cornice-Worb
IRON AND SLATE ROOFING.
0. SPECHT , PRO !
1111 Douglas HL Omaha , Neb.
UANVFAOTDnKIl OF
Qalvamzea Iron Cornices
rjrDormer Windows , Hnta1 . Tin , Iron and Bi |
Kooflne , Hptcht'i 1'atent Metalllo Skylight , Fati
adjuttcd Itatdiet Bir oJ Bracket BlieUlnif. I i
the eoneral iRPiit for the above line ol Koods. li
Fencing , Crestliiifs. BaluttradeiVwrandu , Iron Ila
IUlllnx > Window Illliiili , CelUrGaard * ; ! ceue
cent lor I'xroon t IllU'r l > at rjt lnnliii < IllInT
T. SXTNT EC OXJX > .
MANOKAOTOUKIl OT
GALVANIZED IRO *
CORNICES.
WINDOW CAPS , FINIALS , ET
.4,1.0 xatii
COUNCIL BLUFFS.
ADDITIONAL LOCAL NEWS.
BREAKING GROUND.
A Start Made Toward the New Epis
copal Church ,
The CcrcinonlcB Ycstemlny.
Yesterday nftcrnoon about 6 o'clock
the ceremony of breaking ground for the
uow Kpiacopal church took place. The
site selected is on Sixth street , on the
lot adjoining that on which the rectory
stands and ill the ronr of the present
church ,
The archit ct , , S. E. Maxon , spread
the plans of the now structure before
these present , and after consultation
with seine of the loading members of the
parish the lines were laid out , so ns to
fix approximately the center of the tower -
or to bo built on the southwest corner.
It was at this spot that the ground was
first broken.
There were n goodly number present ,
and a brief service was conducted by the
rector. Rev. Mr. Mackay , who road selec
tions from the scriptures concerning the
building of the tabernacle , the passages
selected being appropriate to this occa
sion. Prayer was then ofl'orod , and the
rector then mndp a short address , setting
forth the requisites for the successful
completion of the structure , and earnestly
urging his parishioners to show patience ,
endurance , zeal , and liberality.
D. 0. Bloomer , the senior member was
then called upon. IIo said that , as ho
had boon going about with Mr. Maxon
1'iying off the lines , the thought that
come tu hint K.U , "What a big church.
Can wo build so largo a one ? " Then
came to him the thought of what had
boon done iu the past. About eight
years ago some of the ladies conceived
the idea that a lot should bo purchased
and a rectory built. They decided to do
so. They had no money
and little faith , but soou
by earnestness and liberality the means
were provided and the rectory paid for.
Then $1,000 was raised , for the purchase
of this lot , on which the now church
waa to stand , and already the ladies have
raised $1,000 for the now building. All
that was needed was moro faith , and an
accompanying liberality. The success of
the enterprise depended on each doing
hia or her share , as God had blessed
them.
"Praiso God from whom all blessings
flow , " was then sung while Mr. Bloomer
took out the first shovelful of dirt , the
ceremonies concluding with Ror. Air.
Mackay and others , each taking out a
shovelful , even to the rector's little child
ren who innocently grappled with what
was then almost a grca tlift aa it will bo
for the parish to raise the means for coin-
plenting the church in all its proposed
beauty.
Mr. S. E. Maxon has prepared the
plans for the now church. It is to have
a frontage of GO foot and an extreme
width of 75 feet , while the extreme
depth will bo 110 foot. The front is an
ornamented one , and the exterior is tc
bo finished in stone ashley work. The
intont'on is to put in the stone founda
tion nt n cost of $4,000 before Novombei
1st , und then if means can bo secured tc
go right ahead with the superstructure ,
which it is to be hoped will alsu bo of
stone , but may bo of brick , some in the
parish favoring brick. The contract
for the stone work of the foundation ha !
boon lot to Mr. Drexel , of Omaha ; that
for the brick work to George Faublo ,
nnd the wood work to Mr. Murphy.
If the plans are followed out , the sup
erstructure put up of atone also , St. Paul'i
Episcopal church , of Council Bluffs , wil
bo ono of the most handsome churches it
the west.
DR. A. B. SPINNEY , proprietor of the
Northwestern Dispensary at Minneapolis
Minnesota. , is stopping nt room 39
Pacific house , until Saturday evening
the 14th inst. , where ho gives oonsulta
tion freo. Ho treats nil chronic , norvoui
and special disosasos , The fllictod in
vited to call.
Partner Wanted.
An enterprising partner with $10OOG
to establish a patent medicine business.
An independent fortune to bo made none
ono year. JMen who mean business enl ;
need apply. A capitalist preferred
Business will bo located in Omaha. Ad
dresa , F. G. O. S. , Bur. ollico , Counci
Bluild.
Refrigerators and ice chests at botton
prices. W. S. Ilomor & Co. , 23 Mail
street.
TEANSFER TALK ,
Thu CoiiHCH of tlio FnlluiROfT in llunl
ncBB Tlio Clerks Fearful that
Will tioou
bo Welcome.
Business at the freight transfer , t
which \Vm. H. Burns is the agent for th
tripartite roads , is decreasing every wetl
and from rumors that are afloat it is vcr
certain that the small amount of businee
nonr lioing transacted at this tation wil
very shortly diminish considerable , Fiv
gangs of men have been all thut has bee
required to transfer the freigkt from th
cars of the eastern roads to these of th
U , P. eiuco the tripartite compact wi
put in operation , while it took eightae
or twenty gangs before this compact wet
into etfoct. The princip&l cauie of th
is that the cars are now billed througl
where before they were billed only 1
Council Bluffs , and therefore all froigl
destined for points west of here , if on ]
to Omaha , it was necesstry I
robill at Council Blufls , an
also to transfer to U. P. car
as in these days it was nn unusual occu
rcnco for a car other than onu belongii
the Union Pacific to cross tbo bridg
Cars of the eastern roads having their tc
niinuH hero were occasionally 'reloadi
with Omaha freight and run over tl
river , especially when it would benefit tl
Union Pacific by so doing , but as abo'
stated a very largo portion and in fact
may with safety bo stated that B5 p
[ J. cent of the can that go through this st
i tion now are billed through to poin
{ wust of tlio Missouri and consequent
arc not trr.nsforrod hero and need no rebilling -
billing h'jro. 1C a througli billed car is
now for.ud to need repairs , it is imme
diately ovorhaulpd by the car rotinirors
ami r.ont on ils journey whore before the
Un'.on ' Pacific wished no bolter reason for
trdiuforrinp the same andcharijinR itnp to
the railroad from which this car was re
ceived. This style of business bus become -
como necessary from the fact that the 0.
11 & Q. , road nro taking a good share of
the freight from the I' . P , and the U.
P. are rushiun their freight through in
all wossiblo haste to compote with the Q
The clerks in the otllco under Mr.
Hums entertain great fears of their boine
unusoful to that gcnttonnu after the first
of ,1 uly , nnd expect thnt a number of
thorn will bo required to look olaowhoro
to cnrn their living.
This uneasiness on their pirt has a
very substantinl foundation from the fict ,
lhat the pool roads which , ns in well
known , includes the U. 1 , Milwaukee ,
Wnbaah , Northwestern and U. 1' . , have
concluded to reduce their expenses nt the
transfer.
It is stated that the Wabash railway
will trnnsfor nil western freight at their
local depot after July 1st , but whether
this 1U bo done or not romnins to be
scon , though this statement is denied by
ono of the otlicinls of the road.
PREPARING THEIR PLUMES ,
The YOIIIIR Men Or fxtil/o n Illnlm
nntl IiOK ii Club.
The now Blnino and Logan club has
secured the following names on its enrollment <
rollmont , nnd many others are to follow :
T. B. Ilaliluin , .lohn W. Ualrii , , T. H.
Marshall , floorpo Motcnlf , W. K. Snpp , Jr. ,
12. A. Snonnor , W. A. Gronoweij , 1) . K ,
Glooaou , J. I. Sloadman , iT. S. lUnnclmril ,
George A. Koolino , Wnltor I. Smith , A ,
W. Itlckman , K. It. O.loll. N. C. Philips ,
Mark Duryoo , .Tncob Sims , Frank C. Ooor ,
O. H. .Tuilil , M. U. Drawn. Krnost K. Hurt ,
T. W. McCarffnr , K. HlaiicliRril. J. N.
Ualdnln , H. A. Dnlrd , H. II. Motcalf ,
Chas. 11. leison , A. J. Urlttondou , J. K
Kimboll , J. M. Klmbnll , Clmrlos D. Arnold ,
1'hll Armour. K II. Scott. IT. A. Woodbury -
bury , J. M. I'liillips , Jr. , and K. II. Stand-
man.
man.Thomns Baldwin has boon elected
president ; Major Marshall , vco-prosidont ;
nnd W. F. Sopp , .Jr. , second vice-presi
dent ; E. H. Odoll , secretary and Mark
Duryoo , treasurer.
The club proposes to secure an appro
priate uniform , and that matter has boon
referred to a committee consisting of
Messrs. Sapp , Metcalf and Kimball.
Messrs. Arnold , McCargar , Spoonor
and Motcalf hnvo boon elected ns n tem
porary committee on music.
The membership has boon fixed nt $5
each , nnd the next meeting of the club is
to bo hold next Tuesday evening at the
Ogdeu house.
An Itl ) I of Hate.
Detroit Free 1'rosa.
"That horrid Mrs. Sawyorl" said Mra
Jones the other day. "I wish she would
move oui of the neighborhood. "
"Well , what do you run there all theme
; mo for ? I told you how it would bo , "
otorted Mr. Jones.
This was not the kind of sympathy
ilrs. Jones expected , nnd aho became
iminously silent.
" 'What has she said about you now ? '
inquired Jones.
"Oh , its nothing about mo , " aaid Mrs
ones indifferently.
"What is it about ? " nsked Jones witl
ividont anxiety.
' 'It is about you , " resumed Mrs. J."Sho
ays you'ro no more- fit to run for ollico
.han n brindle cat , and that if Sawyer
otos for you sho'd never speak to hiir
igain ; aho says "
"Novor mind , " said Jones loftily. "I'n
not the least interested in anything s
'eoble minded , gossipy woman says.
But the flatiron had struck homo , anc
Jones loft the table with a look on hii
'aco that boded no good.
It was baking day at Sawyers.
If there was anything Mrs. Savryo :
prided herself upon , it was the tender
flaky quality of her paste. Jones know
.his.
.his.Mrs.
Mrs. Sawyer was just rolling that tender
dor pio-paato into great shoots of trans
parent dough , when there came a knocl
at the door. Mrs , Sawyer answered it
rolling-pin in hand. It was Willie Jonc
who had knocked.
"Pleaso , Mra. Sawyer , " said the in
nocent child , "pa would like a piece o
your pie-crust.
"Certainly , Wi Ho , " said Mra. Sawyer
much fluttered , "but it isn't baked yotv
"Fie doesn't want it baknd. "
"But ho can't o.it raw pio-crust.1
"Ho isn't ' going to eat it. "
"Then what is ho going to do witl
U""IIo
"IIo said ho wanted to mend thu litu
ICBB and miikohingea for the barn doc
with it , and "
The rolling pin hung fire nnd the bo
escaped , but the barrier between th
"louses of Jones and Sawyer can never b
broken. It is tougher than the pit
crust.
The I/awn of Humanity.
Cleveland Plolmlenlor.
Hov. K. E. MacdufT , pastor of 8
Mary's church , was arrested yesterday b
Patrolman Soibol for riding a bicycle o
Wilson nvonuo. This morning Mr. Mai
dufl appeared in the police court an
pleaded guilty.
"t dooiroto make an explanation , " li
said. "I rouidu at No. 1,352 Slater avi
nuo , and iny parish is a very largo ono.
am of ton called to the bedside of a tic
or dying person , and must got there c
fast as I can. I hope I am a law-abidin
citizen , but when I receive a call of th :
kindI am going to respond at all hazard ;
I consider that in following my calling i
a minister I am obeying the law of hi
inanity , a higher law , even though I vii
Into the law tnado by man. "
"Whoro is your church ? " asked U
court ,
"At the corner of Woodland avoni
and Wallingford court.1'
"I have frequently heard of you , " sa :
the judge , "although never on wheels ,
am much pleased with your discourse at :
must go out soon and hoar you preach ,
Mr. MacdufT looked pleased an
smiled.
"But I want to say to you , " continue
the judtsp , "thnt when the lawa of humai
ity , or higher laws , ns you call them , co ;
flict with the lawa of this ntato and cit ;
the higher laws are going to como oi
second best. I respect your calling it
a nobln ono ; but the lawa to enfor
which 1 am placed hero are applicable
everybody without distinction ns to po
BOII or occupation. For the present 1
Bland by the ordinance , My ndrico
you is to 'keep in the middle of the road
If you take to the sidewalk you must |
afoot. "
Tno Reverend Mr. Mocduff wa fun
the coats , and walked up to the captain
( leak , where ho settled.
08H HIIjMNG9 ON HUMOHIHT8.
'lio Wnrlcnf tlio American \Vlt nttil
Men.
* and
ow York Mall
Among the men who poao hero and
! mro in the broad corridors of the
Windsor Hotel , in Nnw York , every
veiling , is Henry M. Shaw , or , as ho ia
nown the world over , Joah Hillings.
io H n peculiar man. The broadcloth
rinco Albert , the long gray hair flowing
\or the cars down the shoulders , thu
road-brimmed slouch hat , the feature * ,
ough-hown withal and refined , give the
iipressioiisof n clergyman. Thoclosoly-
rimmed iron-gray board , the aeiiuilinc
( iso , nnd the firm look of the deep-aet
yes deny this impression , however , nnd
iidicnto rather the military man. Mr.
killings was scaled on ono of the soft
of as the other evening rthon a Mail ami
Express reporter approached him. The
onversation turned upon American wil
r humorists.
"America is full of humor , " said Mr ,
Hllings , "and yet n great deal of it if
also humor. It has _ no purpose. The
) anbury Nowa man is played out bo-
, nuso ho had no purpose at the bottom ol
lia articles. All humor must have truth
t thubottom. Humor is , in fact , n mlx <
tire of truth nnd pathos. True liumoi
vlll never dio. Humor in the best sonsc
short-lived. The funny articles iu
American newspapers are hut drollery-
never write n paragraphjwithout n pur-
oso. I doairo to benefit mankind. Thl ;
s why my sayings are addressed to men
nd about men. I can not boar n man
rho seeks to tear down. Infidels arc
ny greatest aversion. 1 am intonsolyro-
[ gious , though 1 have no crord. 1 can
ulk to any man except ono who boliovce
lothing. 1 nlwnya take every occasion
oatiack iulidols. They destroy without
luilding up. The devil himself did mil
ony God , but only rebelled. I have
fton said I would rather bo .in idiot thai :
n intidol , bocauao if an idiot I'd knon
lint God mndo mo so ; if an intidol thai
made myself so. "
"You hnvo mot most of the Amoricai :
.utnorists . ? "
"Eighteen years nco I sat at the ciinnoi
nblo with n remarkable sot of Trits nnc
itimorists. Henry Clnpp , George Arn
Id , O'lJrion. Mortimer Thompson , ( Dee
ticks ) , Dnwson , Shandley , llobort Norr
11 , Orphoua 0. Kerr , nnd Charles P ,
Jrowno , ( Artomus Wnrd ) . All died dos
itute , with the exception of Kerr , win
! living. Another sot that 1 dined witl
ncn is Brat llnrto , Mark Twain , Lewis ,
f the Detroit Free Press , and Burdotti
f the Uawkoyo. They are all livint
nd doing well "
"What is your opinion of those living
umorists ? "
"It is n species , though a poor species
f humor. You road olio nrticlo and yoi
now the bad boy. It is nn oxaggoratioi
nd lacks n nrincipal constituent of humoi
soiieo. Nonscnao thnt is not based or
enno soon palls. "
"Do you think that the Amoricar
.owspapor . humor possesses the quality ol
OI1BO ? "
'Not generally. The reason why sc
lany 'funny men' spring up and disap <
oar is bocauao of this very lack , A per <
on will laugh nt n ridiculous thing and
lien bo nslmmcd of hinioolf because he
us laughed , if ho finds no truth in the
tory. True wit and humor never make
ou laugh , at least at first. You BOO tin
ruth in it , nnd then the ridiculous side
trikoa you afterward. "
"Then you think the outlook foi
American humor ia not bright ? "
"It ia hard to judge humor , nnd ]
layo paid BO little nltontion to the !
writings. Still , as far aa my limito <
cnowlcdgo goes I will answer. Broti
larto's humor ? Broto made n good
loint in his 'Heathen Ohiuoo , ' nlthougl
ho scliomo of the two sharpers bom ;
akon in by n third apparently innocon
ono is old. I have never road much ol
3roto Harto's works , but do not thinl
lim of the highest order of humor
ata. Nothing over equaled thi
mmorists. Nothing ever oqallod tin
minor of Mark Twain's descriptions. Hi
s , in fact , the greatest doscrlptivi
lumorist , America has produced. Lowia
of the Detroit Free Press , doea not com
mnnd my highest admiration. Ho ahowi
; reat tact , and often produces a bit o
iraisowortby humor. Burdotto , of tin
Turlington Uawkoyo , I enjoy very much
[ Io has purpose in his humor , and is vor ;
lathotic. True humor is always allied t
lathoH. Ho might bo called the pathoti
iiumorist of America. Nnsby ia the great
oat political satirist ainco the days of Jtic
Downitr. { . "
"Is Peck's bad boy gonulno humor ? "
"On the contrary , 'John Phounix' wo
o founder of the American school c
drollery , of which Artvmua Ward was th
grontoat light. The nowapapor humor i
of that Echuol , only the writora have on
agarati'd the uxaggeration of the suhoc
to a nauseous extent , losing night of th
main object of humor , to mculcato n nu
ral or physical truth. Still , once in
while , I comn across a newspaper pan
[ jraphthatiH really humorous. "
"Do Mark Twnin and kindred hume
iats display their humor iu couvorsi
tion ? "
"liy no means. That is a popular mi
tako. Humorists are the saddest ui
soberest of follows. Humor ia pin
thought. After you have your thougl
you cm i twist it in any ridiculous nlm ]
you liko. Mark Twain docs not kno
how to laugh , and Nusby novcr laughi
in his life. "
' Does humorous writing pay ? "
"Not to-day. Before Artomus Wai
no humorist made any money. I
made some. I followed and have mai
monoBut the profitable days
humor are past , I can remember win
I would got $100 a weak for writing
few paragraphs for ono paper. Now
could not got ono-third of that. If
young man thinks ho ia going to g
rich by becoming a humorist ho ia mi
taken/ '
takenHow
" How do you rate the Gorman h
morista ? "
"Nevor road thorn. "
' The French humorUt ? "
"Don't know anything about them
"Tho English humorists ? "
" Only rood a few of thorn. They ha
moro wit than humor. I am not a roa
ing man , "
" What of your own portion ? "
"I am essentially a paragraph r.
never wrote an article oyor a page
length in my lifo. The art of condeni
tion ia a gift. Any man can turn a pai
graph into a page. Lut few moil a pa
into a paragraph ,
"Did you possess the art of condom
tion in your younger days. "
"If 1 did I did not know it. I nov
wrote a line until I was 45 years old.
am now < ! 0 , and huvo noon writing ov
ainco. Practice inakea perfect , but y
cannot got apples off a ponr-troo. "
"Why did you begin writing ? "
"I only began writing to plonso
friend , an editor of a Pougludopsiu |
per , I wns an auctioneer. Ho aaid
man who uoulcJ talk as 1 did must
nblu to wrlto. I did write for his papi
but my articles attracted no attentiu
Why did 1 adopt the phonetic polln !
Only to arrest Attention , 1 rowrolo ono
of these unnoticed pieces ono day , using
bad spoiling. It WAS copied nil ovor. "
"Do you think there is any humor in
bad p lHng ? "
"No. Itjonly nrrosta the eye. Still
it lends n homely air to the paragraph
that takes. "
"Where do you got the materials for
your sayings I"
"Through iny oycs and ears. As I
said before , 1 never wrote till I wns15
years old. Up to that time 1 had been
seeing nnd thinking without knowing it
myso'f. ' The world wns my college nnd
mon my books. 1 obaorvu everything
unconsciously , nnd immediately appro-
ptiato it for use. "
"Then yon do not really invent.
"All that 1 do is to present the few
truths thnt so exist in n now nnd con
densed form that stands out before the
oycs. For instance , when in my lecture
1 desire to convoy the iden that ono
must not spend the whole tlmo on dross ,
nnd ono thnt does make dress n success
is good for nothing else , 1 do not tnlk on
it nn hour , I simply say : "Tho man who
can keep a collar clean for n week ls good
for nothing olao. ' The people have all
soon just such follows and comprehend
the whole idea , "
"How can you write fifteen or twenty
sayings every wockf"
"People have often wondered why I
don't run dry. I am blocking thorn out
all the while , some consciously some un
consciously. This very conversation hns
has suggested aovoral. The walk of thnt
man across the room might suggest
another mo , "
"Do you reason them out ? "
"No , they como to mo iututivoly. 1
always carry n nota-book with mo nnd
jot down the thought as it occurs. "
THK KVTltnTIO
In ItolMauo Iilko UoMon , HBJH
1'rol. John 1 > . Sullivan ,
Sponkiugto n Bootou Star reporter , nf-
tor his return from his tour , Prof. John
Lawrence Sullivan , the celebrated expo
nent of the fistic art , wna hoard by the
Sommorvillo Journal man to any : "Ono
thing 1 have found out there is no place
llko Boston. "
I'ratrnTilod from Mntno to the far "Goldou
Onto"
A tour of adTonturoR prolific -
I'vo ' wntchod the BUD rliuiti the lirnio eUto
And not In the mighty Tactile ;
Nlncnrn'fl caUrnct prnnil I hiuo BOOH ,
The \\nvoH of l.nko Krlo boon teased on ,
Hut thla 1 nin sure ofwhom ever l'\o boon
I'vo found there Is no plnco lilco lioaton.
I'vo ' trnvolod moro mllod tlmn Uly aos I know ,
Or the horolo ROM uf Auulilaoa ,
And vlot'rylias ov'ry\\horofollowod ray nhow
Aa It followed the I'orelnn Cnmhyeoi.
I hnvo neon the palmutto and plno where they
( trow ;
A Pullman the "Kocklos" I'vo crossed on ;
I'vo Keen iimny nlncoai , nnd thin much I know :
There IH certainly no plnco like Huston ,
Her culture and lonrnliiff nro o\crywhoro
known ;
Slio holds nn exalted position ;
The L'cmm thnt mnko brain , brown broad that
m all us brnwn ,
Are here in their miroit comlltlon.
To mo every ntrnot IH Indeed Imllowod ( 'round ,
And proiully I plvo yon the tnoiit on
Tills happy occnnlun The "Hub" for I'vo
found
There U certainly no place like Dostou.
Pot Cliooso
A Chicago milkmen in named Schallc.
It doosn't look so bad i polled that way ,
but the milk has the usual taste , [ Lorr-
all citizon.
"Milkman , why does you milk nlwnye
look ao blue ? " "My cows came from
Boston , mum , " proudly replied the
milkman , "and they nro bluo-bloodal"
[ Pittaburg ChronicIo-TelegJaph.
"Chicago has a milkman named
Schalk , " whines n contemporary. If
Unit's the worst you can say about Chicago
cage you may call yourself off. Lota of
other towns have chalk and water named
milk. [ Oil City Derrick.
Milkman There is another queer
looking animal. What la it ?
KeeperThat's not on exhibition.
It's my private property.
Milkman Belongs to you , oh ? Whal
n strange looking thing it i.sl What do
you call it ?
Keeper Ha my family cow. [ Phila1
dolphin Record.
The flow of milk from the butter fac
tory on Logan struct into the Bonrgrast
makes the crook white for twenty foot.
[ East End Reporter. This ia indeed at
important piece of IIOWH. It haa hereto
fore been customary in Louisville not t (
let the milk flow into the water , but tin
wntor into the milk. [ Louisville Courier
Journal.
Collar Orr/.c.
llimton Clnho ,
"Yea , air , this high collar cra/.o in in
Burning rather high proportions , " remark
cd a denier in gents furnishing guodH to
reporter ynstorday. "You see the pron
entstylo of 1881 in higher than it hii
ever boon before , nnd the young mo
Boetn nil collar.1'
"Whoro will it ono ? "
"Well , I declare , I do not know.
am looking for nn addition by 1800 tlu
will entirely envelop the chin and give
barber no end of trouble when ho wanl
to shave n customer. Then , as ono e :
tromo will load to another there may I
an uprising by 1805 when young me
who cannot ruiso a mustache will bo gin
to add another inch and take in an uppc
lip and a pug none.
"Thifl ia n great country , sir , and pr <
gross is our motto. I look for ati
another bull movement in collars who
wo roach the now contuary , 1000 and w
may expect a collar which will take i
the entire head and face , with air hole
for HOBO , mouth and eyes , It Trill li
warm and nice in winter and trill L
particularly popular with homely youn
mon ,
' 'If I were John C. Kno or Fordinan
Ward I think I should order such a co
lar and wear it in public.
Itaform In Gown.
Now York Journal ,
Virginia lias long mnco ceased to di
tinguiah herself aa the mother of proa
dents. It was necessary , therefore , ( <
the grand old state to do eomothing i
order to recover her lost prestige. Tl
mother of presidents has therefore coi
: o eluded to improve upon the old brand i
cow and to produce something novel an
striking , Her latest efforts in this diroc
ion have been a cow with three horn
inane , tall and legs like a horse ; also
calf without eyes or tail. If thin cow In
boc.ii introduced at the proper moment i
Cnicago there in no eaying what ofleot
might have had upon the Blnino boon
But it is now too lata. It is to bo fenrc
that for practical milking purposes tl
now cow will not supersede the eli
Three horns are too much fur any cov
even a dark homo democratic cow , nn
she is certain to bo u kickor. A en
without eyes or tail is top much of a due
to Buit the averngo milkmaid.
THE CHEAPEST PLACE JLJ5IEUMAHA TO BUT
EKE
p
One of the Best and largest Stocks in the United States
to select from.
NO STAIRS TO CLIMB ,
ELEQANT PASSENGER ELEVATOR.
HAS TllK IiMtaEST AND CHKAl'KST
KKHOSUNE AND GASOLINE STOVES ALWAYS ON HAND.
Hentlqunrters for Iho Colobrnlcd Wrouglit-Iron
( > 15 nnd G17 North KJth St. , Lcl. Cnlifornia and Webster.
m y SJ'il ooil'W cow -Sin
o/// 5/e Acting Power ana Hand
iiuino Triimningn , Mining Machinery , Bolting , HOBO , Brass nnd Iron Fittlrqs ,
Steam Packing nt wholesale and retail. HALLADAY WIND-MILLS , OI1U1U.II
AND SCHOOL BELLS.
Corner 10th Farnam St. , Omaha Neb.
HALLET DAVIS AND GO'S PIANOS
[ ENDORSED BY FRANZ LISZT. ]
- , BOSTON , March lit , 1881.
KMKll ON 1'IANO v CO v OitNri.nuiN Your Instruments. (3raiHl.H'ivnro ' and UiulRht , nro really noble
mtrunnntJ and unrUall l for loanty ol tone ami llnlsh , Allow mu to odneutuUta vnu on your stcrl
iirouroiw. QUSTAVE SATTEIl ,
RECOMMENDS ITSELF.
SOLEAOENT ,
. r.in Dodge Street , Omalia , Neb
OUTH
Fine Health Homes ,
RETIRED AND THE INVALID
it- Lines
Will bring them from tlieir homes to the Opern House. Postoffico
H and Dupois in
Giving thorn tlio advantngo of living on the suburban heights , with pure
air , bountiful shade trees and P.irks. pure Spring Water and Lakes ,
Groves and Scenery magnificent wliich cannot bo equalled. This is a
AND A PARADISE FOR ALL , RIGHT AT HOME.
The Syndicate have arranged with with the railroad companies for a
fine , attractive depot , where trains of. the following roads will connect
and stop : The Omaha 13 < } lt Line Railroad Line , The Union Pacific Rail
way , Tno Missouri Pacific Railway , The Omaha and Republican Valley
Railroad , The Burlington and Missouri River Railroad in Nebraska and
the Chicago , Burlington and Quincy Railroad. All these trains will stop
at the depot at the town site. Also at the Stock Yards.
Beautiful trees have been set out on the property and streets laid
out ,
LOTS AKB NOW ON SALE
AT LOW PRICES & . EASY TERMS.
3ST" Apply at the Company's ollico , cor. of 13th and Douglas 'etreo ,
over tli * Omaha Saving's Bank.
M A. UPTON ,
Assistant Secretary ,
C. F. 600DMAN ,
Brua ist !
AlO ) DEALER IN
i ) v mm , )
OMAHA NEBRASKA.
