THE DAHA B4E OALAHA. SATURDAY MAY o
FOB IKY OP TOE TIMES.
UourteUlp nnd Mnrrlrwo.
coiiiTsiur. MAimi.MlK.
Moonlight talk , Dr.e ye r ,
wnlkt ; Skies clear ;
ye * , Veari two ,
ilghe ; Wes \s\n \ \ ( ;
I'lOtlt RlktP , Yeati three ,
Very lite. Can't grca ,
1'Arlor R cno County Conrt ,
Foiling mmm "Splendid fportj"
le re t llMt , Sorrow iln ,
Aniwer , "Yc ; " Inry grin ;
Kind kirn , Divorce Riven ,
llllnd hll-K. Ptttcri liven.
Interview , Worrlol wife.
1'apn tojj IjTuely life ;
Notliln ? iotll , Huftbnud rovjif ,
VVlfa lu m ;
Couple Care cost ,
Have it bid. "ioveloit. "
Or ftti swells , tlOltAL ,
MnrrluRO bells.
Honeymoon , When you wed ,
Kmloil § ( ioat Look nnend )
lu-lila Brown , Might fftlU
Settled down , That'd all ,
For the Housokoeper.
And now the roral pool tings :
Snikib , tuiaab. iinruh ,
O chma , rich and gay ,
For the pitcher will never be whole ngnln ,
That was suiaahed on moving day.1'uek.
-1'uek.
What IB Flirtation ?
What It ItlrtatloD ? Ueally ,
Haw can I annwer that ?
Yet when the stnllei I eee Its wile ) ,
And when he lifts his hat.
'Tli meeting In the hall room ,
'Tli whirling lu the lUuce ;
With souiethlng hid beneath the lid
Beildea a simple glance ,
'Tli walking In the hallway ,
'TIs testing on the stair ;
Tli bearded lips on nugir tlpi
( If mamma Is not there. )
Tl going out for Ices ,
'Tli buttoning on a glove !
TIs lips that speak of plays kezt week ,
And eyes that talk of love.
TIs tucking In a carriage ,
Tis asking for a call ;
Tis lifted ryes and tender sighs ,
And that is no , not all.
Tis parting when 'ill over ,
Acd one goes homo to sleep ;
Trala , my friend , best joys must end-
But one BOOS home to weep.
-KUa Wheeler in Albany Times.
EH 'em .again.
The deacon wai itlogy us stingy could be ,
Anl hia minister wiihed the colling re
moved ,
Bat could not get his desire ,
One day a piece of the pla'terlng fell
By fute on the bard deacon's head ,
And be sprang from his seat and offered a
ten
To have that thing secured overhead ,
"Lord , bit him agate 1" said the minister
keen ,
With wiitch you and I will agree ,
For If plaster will open the heart ot n
m&n ,
The plaiUr the man should have free.
Rochester Post-Express.
The Dude.
Who atrol's the iVvf. each afternoon ;
\x ho whistles airs all out of tune ;
-And dona short coats cut quite too "UOOL ? "
The Dude.
Observe his form. You can , for he
Weira pants as tight an tight can be
( And pants fornotorietj ) ,
The Dnde.
Who's stiff aa statue cut in wood ;
Can't bend , end wouldn't if he could ;
A sort of nothing 'twlxt bad and good ?
The Dude.
Who wears bis hair all nice and banged ;
And say * , "By Jove , that Mrs. Langt-
By' * chawming quite , or I'll be banned ! "
The Dude.
Who drives a tandem through the park ;
Says. "LifeV , aw , such a. jolly lark , "
( Perhaps the Dude'a the long sought
"Snark ! " )
The Dude.
Who foes to all receptions , leaf ;
Who traiils n unite at friends he sees ;
And , for bis health , tips eaugareet !
The Dude.
Who dreetea in the latent style ;
Declares , "The weathMi's thlrnply vile ; "
And lippa some dainty swear the white ?
The Dnde.
Who's neither fool , nor nave ,
This funny speck on nature's page
Couundruin of the modern agi ?
The Dude.
Who , theu , can work the puzzle through
Tell wbat it's for what it can do ?
Guess what it ie , I'll give it you ,
The Dude.
T. N. , in Acta Columbian.
Liove Bopeiled.
Within the garden wall he sat ,
And softly etiummed on his guitar ,
Acd filled the air with dulcat strain ,
With tenor voice sang this refrain :
"Thou art so near and yet EO far.
The maid ab , could my pen portray
The beauty that mine eyea beheld !
I3"t no , I'll bave to let that stand
And tell the story I've in hind ,
Uow she his lore repelled.
She listened as hi ) song arore
Above her wasbtub's sullen roa- .
"Tis awful ead , " she said , "but then
I really cannot stand it , when
It souna so like dad's snore. "
A moment more ( be listened there
And caught the wor.la the finger sang ;
" h sad and for . "
"My < > art Is pants ther.
' 'Ilia heart Is sad and panta-fnr me , "
And washboard dawn she flung.
Then down the cellar stairs eha ran
( Sweet i miles her face cbaied o'er ) ,
Atd , quick returning , brought to view
A i bain and dog -a bulldog , too
And quick threw open tbn door ,
The moon had rose above the hill
Bright scenes to fill the poet' * heart
Whrn through the night cry of pain ,
A null cf feet , a full , und then
The dcg has done bis part.
"WhatV Iliit you'vn brought , good dog ,
For mt ? Some clothing from that man ?
'Hiaettt \ wan rad' U , n w I ree ,
Ho's scut ermo of the 'or.nU' to me
On the installment plan ! "
HON&Y FOR THldJ LADIES.
Leather fain are in high favor.
Patti used C.COO ditferent kinds of per
fume.
Vermont baa two women acting as mill
carriers.
Chicken down the color of the newly
batched is the lateet shade of yellow.
A Maine lady cabled the news of the
death of ber cat to her husband InKurope.
A young lady at Uamberg , Germany , has
be n punished with a fins and costs for the
offense of playing the piano at night at an
open window ,
The miwenin at Heading , England , con.
tains among Its curiosities a btidle former ,
ly ured to stop the mouths of scolding
women In that town.
The p pper pod deilgns on the new sat *
eens come in all ttages of coloring assumed
by the fruit of this plant , from the green
pepper to the full red.
New veilings come In lovely shades of
oreim and pure wBite , with dots , wheel * ,
itarr , fpatbcn , flowers nnd leaves , In itnnll
detached silk brocaded figure ! .
Klbboiu grow more nnd more gorgeou' ,
nnd no color c mi too brilliant to be u e <
by Itself , or in combination wthievert
others , at a trimming f r bonnet or dim.
Tailor-made oojtumoi In tweed , peppci.
aml'ialt mixture * , cheviots , In heatvcr
uiltture * , mottled clothe , and undefined
stripes and plaids are selling in largo quau-
titlej for UtUuo costume ? .
In New York litres n woman who li si
entranced with the circttitliat sno baa be n
to every performance , and nlways wants to
bet on the rxcts with people rcatcd next to
her , She has already won $02 ,
A police judge at St. Joseph remarked ,
In dlfinliilng a case the other day : "I shall
iliiml's every cane cf woman Insulting
whcrnit can bo shown that the woman first
flirted with th * accured. "
The cloth dresses worn this spring are
exceedingly neat , nnd when well made
are verystyllah , Some are perfectly plain ,
with only tbron or four rows of silk stitch
ing to fiulfh elf co lar , cuffa , and paclera ,
eit i etuilng for their orn ( mentation upon
tbclr banisome buttons or ucklca ,
Very pretty bonnets for spring wear are
In the Kite Grecrmway shape , the brim
formed uf flu rulllsi of cream Inco and the
crown of dirk velvet , which Is lometimo
replaced by Interlacing ottoman ribbons an
inch and n hill lu width , ono strand being
of cream and the other or a contrasting
color ,
A I'ittsburg girl , who refused n Rood
looking telegraph repair man three tltnee
within six months , gave as a rcnion that
he wan too much ul a wanderer. That he
wandered from pcle to pole , from one
clime to another , and if he did come home
he'd be Insulate that the nel hbora would
be sure to talk.
The hair nf a girl employed In nn east
ern o tton mill was caught lu the machin
ery , torn elf her.hoad and ground Intoblts ,
Uut the girl didn't mind it much. Sht
ke.it right on at ber wort , simply remark
ing that It only cost 84 anyhow. Tnls li
one of the advantages of art over nature.
Norriatown Herald.
It is whispered that the gloiy of the
cropped beads of hair la departed , and the
brown "nimbus" or flaxen halo of little
rlmts of hair celled Into "Marguerites" or
"Montagupk" all over the bead by the
magto of bandoline is to be supplanted by
the hair drawn up to the top of the heaH
and coiled tuere like a wavy ccrom t , I AV <
Ing the nape of the neokeu evlitcri'.u u Un ,
A Milwaukee girl appeared In tbo street
with a do ? to match her tur. Her costume
waa lavishly trimmed with broad bands ol
a long-haired , tawny fur , qalte osneplcu-
ous In itpolf. At her side walked an Im-
menie St. Bernard dcg of precisely the
srrne color. When she held htm by the
colnr , and the fur about ber wrlat mingled
with the hair of his neck , the match waa
seen tabs perfect.
The mast fashionable of the whltatoilete
worn ths ! summer , instead of being re
lieved by the utusl colors of rose color ,
blue , or mauve , will be enlivened by the
newer iibades ( if French terracotta , tea
rose , thrimp pink , and the like , and a
leading toilet will be ono of white nuns' '
veiling or vigogne , with broad sash and
other aatin ribbon trimmings of palo primrose -
rose In the cor age and hair , and necklace
and chatelaine of amber beads.
Hibbon trimmlnga were never worn In
greater profusion , or showed greater va
riety of materials , coloring and dedgn.
The most expensive of these are band
painted , broad silk or aatln saaber , with
groups of flower * , CupldV heads , mosses ,
ferns and swinging gtrlaode of strawbe
ries and vines , painted on the eada. These
sashes make an chgant fiuiih to a child's
or young lady's toilet.
Tne dantieit and most convenient of
spring trifles are the new "manchons" or
muffs , matching the costume and trimmed
with velvet , lace , fhwero , or , prottietof
all , with small bird * . A little concealed
pocket in the muff rffjrda a biding place
for card case , handkerchief , puree , vinai
grette. The latest fancy la to attach these
manchona to a tiny gold or silver chate
laine , which is fastened by a clasp to the
belt.
belt.There
There lives in a neighboring town a very
beautiful and accomplished young lady ,
who , when eleven years old , being well
grown for one of her years , and mistaken
by many for A young lady of sixteen , re
oelved a compliment from a young gentle
man , Baking her company to a concert ,
She accepted , and when they reached the
entrance to Iln hall she lisped out : "Hith
er C , you won't have to piy but a quaw.
ther for me , I am unther thwelve jeatli
olth. "
Mies Snowball' * love letter : Mia Ma
tilda Snowball , having closed the door ,
approached the lady of the house in t
most mysterious manner add asked as c
favor ( hit her employer write a letter tc
Sam Johnsing. "What do you want mete
to write ? " "Write him dat I waa at de
corner at de'plntecl hour , anl dat he didn't
come. " "Weil , I've cot that down.1
1 Den add to dat nr : "I consoles myuell
wid de fond hope you was kep' nway by
rlckneea. Your only true tub , Mrtildn
Snowball.1
Hints about Coquettes Give the devil
hia dne and the ccquette her dude Cou-
nueUes are like cats ; they love petting ,
This accounts for sparka in the dark Al
ways make a friend of a crquette before
you fall in love with her. Then you can
corner her when she saya , "Bnt let me bo
your friend1 ! A coquette can play hei
carda just aa well when you ar holding her
hacd. Indeed , this la her firsttrick Aftet
ail , there is one nice thing about a coquette.
Bbo and lightning never strike twice in the
pame place. There n no need of it All
fkah la gras , but a coquette doesn't object
to being called a daisy.
PEPPERMINT DROPS.
The New Orleana dude wears a plu ? hat
sideways , and walks with his arms spread
out , aa If driving unruly pigs to market.
In reply to "I don't want your paper
any longer , " the editor wrote : "I would
not make it so If .vou did. It would in
volve a new press. "
"Put Your Arms Around Me , Dear , " ia
the title of a new * nng. It la a companion
piece to 'Soak Your Feet in a Pot of
Glue. " Plttsburg Leader.
A monkey belonging to a show exhibitIng -
Ing In Jonesvllle was taken lick a few
days ago , and n Jcneaville doctor pronoun
ced it a genuine case of meailcp.
Cucumber green Is ( the new ibade for
ties. The man who la tied up in a knot
from the cucumber be has eaten will have
the Intense * atiifaction cf knowing be la In
style.
style.Wanted
Wanted Two or more able-bodied su
preme court judges to declare the amendment -
ment legally adopted. Call on , or address ,
with references , State Register , Des
Moines , Iowa ,
The Klmirn Gszetto tells of a woman
who applied for a place as driver. "Can
you manage mulct ? ' neked an employer.
"I Khould Bmilf " she " '
, eaid. "I'va had
two husbands. "
Cinea for ilade ? , made of eiogle straws ,
are the latest thirg out. It U feared they
will bo so heavy a * to overb.ilanca their
brain. , but a trial of them will bet made
In the cool hours of a spring day.
There Is a good deal of fitness in the se
lection of Mr , Kvarta as the orator for New
York at the opening of the big bridge. He
can suspend a sentence in the air longer
than nny other man lu America. Boston
Herald.
A farmers' Journal recommends blanketIng -
Ing beea in winter. A man should be care
ful which end of the bee be grasps when he
goes to put a blanket on It , or he may
"blank it" considerably more than be bar
gained f er.
Foster * for the annual goat show ore
dliplayed In a great many windows.
Some of the goats must b very well
trained , for most of the pictures repreaiut
them titling on a keg and drlnWng cold
tea from a tumbler.--Hartford livening
Post.
"Yer , " "Id a uiburan resident. "I
might have caught ( hit chicken thief , for
I saw him jnit as be entered the , yard , but
it waa after 2 a , in. Catching him would
have made nol < \ awakened my wife ,
und then ihe would have wantul to know
what I wai doing nut that time of night.
An Kngllih writer unya that ' 'ono of the
creat beauties of the Wc-Mi tongno la the
lontlitent method ot pronouncing It. "
, lutt so , 'ihere Is great bounty In Mich
" ' "
wotdaa"DwffirchiuawilIJdfryno'dywch"
\tlica pronounced canslitoutly , and that Is
the way wo always pronounce 'em ,
A countryman from 1'ohlck , Vn. , having
heard that the president waa sutf ring
fiom co'Ic ' , ca led at the white homo a few
tftVs ago with a bottle of what ho said \v g
"AuntS lly Hooper's oollu-klllor. " He
desired to admlnliter It In the president ,
but was of course forbidden entrance Into
the hcute. Ho left lu a rage.
So many murderers are reported na eat *
ing a hearty meal the morning before be.
ing executed that an rxchinge thinks phy
sicians Bhoulil piescrlbo barging for Ihe
persona suffering from loss ot appetite.
The fatal objection to Mich n remedy li
that a man U liable to choke to death al
most ni soon AS bin appetite la restored.
Norrl town Herald ,
"Tern coital'1 Bftld a country woman In
n lo. ! ton store , repenting the nama after
the clerk , "la that French for cltinr.-
mon ! " "Not that I Inow of , inndtm , "
answered the smirking clerk. "Li , you
needn't laugb ; I've known the color before
you were Lorn , but I never heard It cal'cd
nuthln' but cinnamon brown. " New Lon
don Djy ,
London Truth saya that donkey la in
finitely bettor eating than beef or mutton ,
"There are , however , a ROJI ! many per
sona who could not eat donkey without ex
posing themselves to the charge of canni
balism , " nays the Chicago Tlmei. The
first thought of a Chlcagoan Is always for
himself , Boston Post ,
A London expert blindfolded himself ,
and [ four different kinds of rherry are
poured Into the aame glass. He takei a
mouthful and dcclarea the component
parta of the mixture , U'ually without n
mistake , Then ho experiments with port ,
nnd la wonderfully successful. He Identi
fies numerous champagne * , even to the
year of vintage. When a glaeo of Chicago
whlaky wns given him hn tore off the bandage -
dago and wanted to be shown the whelp
who had tried to kill him-St. Louis Post-
Dispatch.
MUSICAL AND DRAMATIC.
K-vfsel Joscfly , pianist , will Icavo for
Europe shortly ,
Adellna Pattl sailed for Kuropo by
the ettaiLcr Arizona Last Tuesday morn-
Ing.
Ing.Mr.
Mr. Ltvy , the cornotlst , ia engaged for
$300 a week and board to play in Phila-
delphla during the summer seaaon ,
Lewis Morrison has been engaged as
leading man next season for tha Marie
Prescott company ,
I' Ifl whispered that Max Bruchnillbe
the coming conductor ot the Now York
Philharmonic society.
King Ludwlg of Bavaria has bought
Wagner1 * tomb. In the garden of the villa
Wannfrie.f , and intend ? , under certain re
strictions , to dedicate it to the public.
Edmund Neupert. the Norwegian com
poser and pbuist , baa been engaged as
principal piano teacher for the New York
College of Music , commencing September
15 tb.
tb.Johan
Johan Svenden , the celebrated composer ,
has been elected musical director of the
royal opera at Copenhagen In the place ol
Koppelmelfiter Paulll , with a yearly salary
of 8,030 crowns
Mary Anderson will visit France , Gar-
many and Italy prior to opening ber en
gagement In London , September 1. Mi
Anderson will be accompanied by her
mother , brother an i stepfather ,
Mies Ada Cavendish recently made ber
appearance on the stage of the Globe
theater , London , aa the heroine in "Lady
Clixre , " a new piece by Kobert Buchanan ,
The performance appears to bave been
moderately successful.
Robert Mo Wade , of "Uip Van Winkle'
fame , is n native of Canada , and was
brought up in Buffalo. He wears the Phil
Kearney cross of honor for valor displayed
at Fair Oaks. Malvern Hill , the SffRO ol
Yorktown , Illcbmond and the Seven Days
battles.
Mile. Marie Van Zindt haamade anoth
er Parisian auccoo" in the now opera , "Lak-
me , " libretto by E Gondlnet and Phlllipe
Gille , music by Lin Deliboa , which was
brought out on the 14th inat. at the opera
comlque. The opera h recommended for
its many and goo i melodies ,
Single voice ) cover three octaves or mere ,
while the whole range of the human voice
amounts to nearly five otavei. Catalan !
bad three nnd a half ; Baetardella , bearc
by Mezart in 1C70 , bad the enme ; Cnrlotta
Pattl can reach G sharp in alto ; Bennatia
teaor , had three full octaves , and Tamber-
Ilk reached the C ab&rp of 544 double vi
bration ) ,
As Minnie Hauk WAI tinging nn echo
tong from "Mlnnou , " in Bradford , the
other day.ahocdlum on the outside caught
the refrain andaeut back an echo In the
Baote key with horrible effect. Sovcra
pireona in the audience tittered , and a
flush of annoyance was visible on tbo fair
check of the cantatrice. She resented tbe
Interruption to much that ehe failed to respond
spend to an encore A long time.
RELIGIOUS
A church Ia being erected by the Baptists
n Salt Lake City.
A pew In Grace church , New York , waa
aold at auction the other day for $2,200.
General Phil Sheridan Is a regular atten
dant at St. Mary'd Catholic church In Chi
cago.
Bishop McNamarahasrecently organized
tbe first Independent or Reformed Catholic
church of Chicago.
Under the supervision of Father Ante-
nucci a Chinese Catholic mission has been
founded ft San Francisco.
Tbe spiritualists claim that from noth
ing thirty-five years ago the number of
avowei believers now reached 2,000,000 ,
The centenary of the Protestant Episco
pal Church of Maryland wi'l ' be celebrated
In St. Paul's Church , Baltimore , ou the
29th of May next.
The Baptist annual meetings at Saratoga ,
which will begin on May 22 , will probably
be the largest ever held. Tbe moat Impor
tant of these meetlnga will be the bible
convention.
&PreebyteranfBm ! still [ ccntlnuea to make
rapid progresi in Texaa , Five churches
are now nearly ready for dedication , San
Antonio ia to have a very tine bouse. El
P o baa n desirable plaoj of worship
suited tuthe dematdiof that growing city.
Next year , 1881 , will be the centennial
year of American Methodism , Not that
Methodism wa introduced here tbit je.ir ,
the tir.t society being formed in 1700 , but
in 1SSI the MelbodUt Kplacopal church
was organized , and novr the different
branches cf tbo churcb are preparing to
celebrate the event.
During tha year 18S2 tbnre were 2C'J
churches consecntod by Lutheran congre
gations in tills country , 114 by German
congregation * , sixty-oil ) English , sixteen
Swedish , and eleven Norwegian Danish ,
Of the churches consecrated forty-one are
in Pennsylvania , twenty-seven in Ohio ,
and twenty-two in Illinois
The strife baa BO culminated between the
High und Ix > w church parlies in the Kpto-
copal church of tbe Evangelist , Philadel
phia , that tbe Liw church members are
going to bring tbe matter before the courts
ou the ground that they have been de
frauded of their place of worship by tbe
ritualists. Several policemen were present
at u recent service whera trouble waa ei-
pected.
Quite numerous in the City of Para ,
Brazil , are Catholic cathedrals , in which
no leaU are provided and where tbe worshipers -
shipers are all expected to kneel thoughout
tbe entire service , Tbe Ihora of these
churches are usually , If not always , of
brick , and only on special occasions U there
any mattlnRjjiread for the mitigation of
wbat mustiradeed be A severe penance to
woman , who kueel far three hours during
mass.
The Norwegians are restoring tha ca
thedral ef Truuilh | m , the moat northern
town of its iln In Kurope , A re-cent vis
itor wrltet : It will certainly be the finest
church In the country when completed ,
ani' ' una worthy tn rank with ether great
Uolhlo edlfi.oi ; It I. distinctly the churcb
of Norway , and merits prolonged etudv ,
both by architect and Antiquarian , In
this cathedral WM the shrine of St. Olaf.
the patron faint , tnd It la the plnco where
the coronation ol tbe Swedish sovereign
as king of Norway must bo performed , "
Of tbo l,433,8S7.fO } inhabitants on the
earth about 830,000,000 are idolaters , 170-
000,000 Mohammedans ani Jews , miking
two-thlrdi ef the population uf the outh
who either know nothing of Jesus or are
opposed to him , Of those who are ) called
Chtlitlaua * only 10,000,003 are nominally
proteitants , nnd only 20,000,000 ara mem
bers of protestant churches. There are
over 100 protestant missionary societies
nnd over 2000 ordained Kutoponn nnd
American missionaries engaged In foreign
mission work , nsrlntod by over ( iCO lay
missionaries and 1 ( > 00 juvenile mla.sionn-
ries , with over 24,000 uatlvn preacher * * ,
teachers nnd helper ? , and nbout C75000
native communicants.
IMPIETIES.
An Indianapjll ) preacher has challenged
n editor to fight. The minister refers to
his antagonist aa a "Beaver dam liar , "
"Mamma , " naked a little Kolccop&llan ,
"if the big catechism U n catechlitm , nln't
thi 'smaller ' "
catechtim' a kittoccbltm ?
Tbe Drummer ,
Henry Ward Beechcr obscryflJ that
"when one U rellgloua through fear of bell
and hellish remuneration be is apt to carry
a good deal of hell about with him. "
A Boston blblelat connects Mulhatton'c
meteor with a scriptural prophecy He
has not found the prediction In Gemslt
that the same fellow would soil Mammoth
cave.
"I am filled with Holy Ghost powder ,
and it will explode on somebody , " was tbe
blasphemous remark of one of tbe female
soldiers in the salvation army at Syr&cusc
the other day.
Tbe new license bill tecently patse.l bj
the Ohio stite legislature imposes a tax ol
$300 upon spiritualistic mediums. This It
a unique way to strike the happy medium ,
New York Advertiser.
The spiritual me jams wh ) summon
spooks from the natty deep or enmewherc
in Ohio , mutt hereafter pay $500 fur e
llcome , just like tbe rest of tbe shows.
The "exposing'1 game will probably grow
in popularity in that state.
A bov wrote a composition on the sub
ject cf Quakers , which ho described as t
sect who never quarreled , never got Into n
fight , never clawei each other nnd never
jawed back. The production contained
a posttcript in these worde. "Pa in ji
Quaker , but ma ain't , "
Saven young ministers of the late Moth ,
odiet Episcopal conference promised tc
obitalu from tobacco. They gave thtii
word also th.t they ware not In debt to m
to embarrais themselves. A "voice" in
the conference wanted to know if they
wore'in debt co as to embarrass anybody
else. Point well taken ,
"Yes brethren , " said a preacher from
hia pulpit , "you are the passengers on a
train speeding its straight and narrow way
to glory , and I am the conductor of that
train , thank the Lord. " "You run her
first-class , I should say , " remarked n
stranger , looking -over tbe congregation ,
"from tbo number of sleepera you're haul
ing. "
The pastor had some plain , homely
words for hia people last Sunday on the
sin of tattling , tayi the Lowell Courier ,
He warned bU hearers against talking
about their nelgbborr , aqatntt picking
flaws In their friendi and acquaintance
nnd against commenting on each ether's
faults and impetfecthns. After churcb
one lady remarked : "For goodnesi Bake ,
wbat would he have us talk about ? " "Sure
enough , " cried another , while several oth.
fers pined in tbe cboruaof "Tho Ideal"
SINGULARITIES.
'iU at brooding nine chickens ia one ol
the curiosities of Salt Lake.
Joseph Thompson , of Simmons Ga , , ha ;
had-nine wlvoa and 53 children ,
A whale eighty feet long recently
grounded on the bar at St. Johns , Fla.
A York , Pa , lady his an caster egg 104
years old. It waa laid ou the farm ol
Thomas Jtfferaou ,
A Texas farmer made complaint against
one of his neighbirs for eewing up the
eyes of his cow.
One of the most expert billiard player *
of San Francisco in a boy 11 years of a < e.
whose father keeps a salo.n and billiard
ball ,
A Mexican wornan residing in St. John ,
Apache county , Arizona , is said to bo Iln
yens old. She is childish and will cry foi
cake and candy like a child.
There Is a movement to establish n town
at the mouth of the Judith Kiver in Col
orado , to bo kutwn aa Giantvllle. It Ic
proposed to cut a quarter rection of land
up into town lota , and permit * ho man to
own or bold ono unleea ha ia over eix feet
in hia stocking ? , nor no woman below five
feet eight.
A furniture dca'er in Bowling Grean ,
Ky , , sot a lot of Willow chairs out In front
of nta store the other day , to attract tbe
attention of those who mlglt be looking
for goods In that line. Wneu he went to
take them in at night he found them
almost coveted with buds and ycurg
ipr utB. Tbe willow waa cut laet fall and
the cbalra built and varnished during the
winter ,
Tbe Frele Preefe , of Santonto , Tex ,
tells tf a species of ants found in that
stat ) which make a bonev rqnil to any
that ia produced by bees. The little iusecta
store tbo honey , aa they gather it , in a
pouch abcut tbo si7o of a small pea that Is
attached to their bodies. When this pouch
is full they march Into the cells of their
subterranean tnhabitatloua and there un
load , The Presae nays that these ant hills
are na full of honey as bee hive * , and sug
gests that they could be turned tnthe fame
practical food-producing use If similar ctre
were taken in breeding and culti ating tbe
incect.
GLOUCKSTKII , Mas" . , April 20 Captain
Hall and the crew of the schooner Annie
L. Hill vouch for the following : On March
30th , while on tbe Grind Bank , they dis
covered an immense live trunk turtle ,
which waa at first thought to be a vessel
bottom up , Tbe schooner passed within
twenty-five feet of the monster. The tur
tle was at least forty feet long , thirty ffet
wide , and thirty fejt from the apex cf the
back tn the bottom cf tbe under shell.
The flippers were thirty feet long. It wi > s
not deemed advisable to itttcmpt Ita cap
ture.
Dltf UUP. Dlabitor , Kldnov
Liver or Uriuar y Discnso
Have uo four of any of thoeo dls-
oaaes if you asn Hop Hitters , an ihey
will prevent and cnro the vrorat caeos ,
ovcu when yon hnvo been rnado worse
by some great puffod-ap pretended
euro.
A youay lady passenger on the railroad
the other morning had as pets two live
chamellou lizards , Ouo was fastened by a
ribbon to her shawl pin , and n-s'.eJ on her
bosom and shoulder. The other she held
on the bcclr. of ber hand When these die
the boys propeee to give her a gopher. Be
It Bald she waa not a Georgia girl , Georgia
elrls hive good sense. Camilla ( Ga. )
Clarion.
Haw Children Had ' Fun. "
On a summer diy they went to play ,
Down the real ( o DJACOD Jones rasture ;
Dick cllinbe.1 the tree. Vic looked sog yi
The hours were ipent In tun * H laujnttr.
That night. tSo e younjHtcrs yIM ltk pain ,
Yes , th iunn > D ck and Victoria ;
The Etlpes were of tin green apple.kind ,
Cut quickly cured by Ctatorla.
EDUCATIONAL NOTFfl.
The Connecticut hi ute lim tm BCvl A reo-
olutlcu appropriating f5,000for the Storrs
agricultural ichool ,
The Now York ) cMature has pasted ft
bill rotlrli'K school teachers on half
pay upon reaching the ego of sovotty
years ,
A CA 1 hna been Issued for n stuto con
tention of color * t people to bo held In
Cincinnati In Juno , to g.vo cxpreoslcu to
tin ncutiitent of the race cm tbo rcbool
question ,
Prof , Colin of Breilau LellovM that
sltttes loud to shortsightedness , and would
substitute ron nnd Ink , or nn artificial
wliito alnto with blr.ck pencil , uiiuuUc-
turcd lu Pilseu Black and whltn Is
proved by experiment tu tt nrt out uott
clearly tu the eye , The Xtirich school
bo < ml forbids doten. 'Ihoy are nulay , and
luvlto dirty habits iu erasure ,
The projects for thin lummrr's seiolou
cf the Concord Sihonl of Philosophy are
8'ild to bo brighter than ever before , nud n
number of distinguished lecturers have nl-
rouiy bton secured , Frank S.inbom ,
whom Governor Butler lately designated tu
take charge uf the Towkfibury nlmsbouso ,
will gl o throe lectures on "The History of
Philosophy In America , " ami Julian Haw
thorne oneou ' "Jlio Novel. "
MarthaClny Ihonna , of Baltimore , has
just taken bar degree of ( lector of philoso
phy , Bumma cum laude , at the University
of Xurlrh , Ibla means proficiency In
Greek. Provenclal , Gothic , old , middle and
new high Geiunn , Saxon , Lntln , modern
French nud English , The examination In
nil departments were conducted in n for
eign toiiKtio. Mlflu Thomas WAS u graduate
of Cornell , afterwards studied for a year
nt John Hopkins university , nud baa
just completed a course nt the University
of Lelpslc ,
It is well known tbat for throe or four
years there has hnen growing dissatisfac
tion nt Cornell University. It la a great
Institution , though comparatively new.
Ita pr p rty la valued nt $7,030,000 , nnd
its iucome amounts to 8100,000. But
there has been a marked falling off In the
number of fttudent * , tnd the quality has
lowered. Professors are not of tbe fame
high class ts formerly. The institution
has lost in character , standing and Influ
ence. And there Iigrumbllug nt tbe uni
versity , with uo end of complaining and
fault-finding elsewhere.
At a meeting of the Alumni association
bold here tbe Other night , Mr. John D ,
Warner , who baa made a thorough inves
tigation of the fituatlon , tnld how the case
stands. The University lost a good deal
by President White spending two or three
years abroad ns minister to Germany , and
it loses n great deal moro by h ! frittering
away his tirro nnd Interest lu politics and
other matters in which be ceaselessly dab
bles. He spreads himself o\er euch a
large surf nca that Cor neil gets too tblnu
elics of him to do any good.
A young woman who graduated at tbo
Peterson high school last summer joined
the training srhool for texhem , and , ac
cording to custom , was last week assigned
a place na a snbatilute for a regular teacher
who wna ill. Immediately on her appear *
ante at the desk large numbers of tbe
pupils rushed ouf of school. The others
became so boisterous and unmanageable
that she was forced to dlsmisd the school.
Angry parents watted upon the euperin-
tendeut nnd instated ou dismissing ber
He agreed , but by some mUund ratandlng
she appeared at the school tgain , when
pupils and pare'.ti were on the verge of a
mob , the d'elurbtnco being quieted only
by her immediate disappearance. Whether
she will make n good toucher or a poor one
is not yet kuonn , as ehe bad no chance to
try. Owing to her anceotors' oversight In
coming originally from Africa , her ( kin
was discolored. Oiherwlse , for all that
appears , she was a well behaved and cap
able girl.
Industritl education is the subject of
numberless addresses and pamphlets attbla
timf. Within five ye arc , or since the cen
tennial exhibition , technical education has
received agre.it impetus in this country.
Beelde tbe trade ichiola of tbe Maoaacbu-
eetts institute of technology , an nt Wor
cester , there are leveral In the west , one
in connection with Washington university
at St. Louis , one at Purdue university In
Indiana. Prof. Woodward , of Washing
ton university says that their school ,
which was opened nbout three years ngo ,
has a capacity of 210 Itudenta , for a three
yoare. ' courie , In clatses of ICO , 80 and GO
respectively. "Our building , " ho Bays ,
"cost about $33,000 , tools and furniture
810,000 , and lot $14,400. making tbo oust
of the plant nbout § 63,400. Wetetoutto
bave the beat of everything , plenty of
rocm and light , Kood teachers an i nil nec
essary nnplhncea. " They bnva to pay n
good michlniat nnd nu expert blacksmith
to got men of tbe requMto skill nud ability
to teach. In the first year one division
of the class bm carpentry from 0 tu 11 a.
m. , one from 11 to 1 , and one from 1 to 3 ;
each division when not nt chop work baa
grammar , drawing , arithmetic and phys
ical geography. In theeecond jear a sim
ilar study is made of blacksmithing for
shop wcrk , and of drawing , algebra , Un-
glish history nnd phyeics. Perhaps under
pbytica b included the Uwa of forces , us
usually taught under tbe name of me
chanic ) . If it ii not , it ought to be.
CONNUBIALiriBS.
There were more marriages in Victoria ,
Australia , in 1882 than In any previous
year , viz. : _ 5,890 , Women have ceased to
be tcca in the colony , nnd now outnum
ber the men by 108 to ICO.
Hindoo martiagta at ten years old or
thereabout * are the came of tuch evils that
the Anglo-Indian prcea ia demanding their
prohibition by law ,
When the clergyman aiked nt a church
wedding m Henry , IOWA , It anybody bad
aught to say why the pair should not be
united , a girl arom and aald , "I have bo
it engaged to mo. " There waa eome con-
fuelon , but the > cereaouy waa completed.
The question whether a clergyman could
marry himself was decided some twenty or
thirty years ago by the British homo of
loidi In an appeal rom Ireland , where a
Preslyterian minister In the County Down
bad married bimcelf. It was decided be
could not ,
A beautiful young New Orleana woman ,
who came to New York with tbe fervid in-
t ntlon of entering a convent for life , fall
In lova directly on her arrival with one of
Barnum'a celebrated rvcrobats , and was
married to him.
There would be more marrying in the
world If there were more girls like one liv
ing near New Orleana. Sha baa chartered
n iteamer , and Is to be married on board ,
After the ceremuuy the bo tt will take all
present up the .Mnaisslppi for n pro-
trt-cted tour , of which ehe be&ra all ex
penses.
A voung Moimon ccm/o who went to
the endowment house in Salt Lake City
the either day to be married wore turned
nw y witb the statement th.t thirty-live
innrrlitqea , the full capacity of tbo Inetitu-
UOD , hid nlro.idy bien rusneul through. It
id ind tint more yoaiu girla are going into
pogamy ! than ever before.
Pennsylvania U evidently no place teat
at matrimony About u year ntn
ia Crouin nnd Annia Powers of Al-
tooui , respectively 10 and 15 , tt iod up in
a lonely place nnd proclaimed themselves
married. Crouin subsequently often ac
knowledged her na bia wile , bhe became
u mother nnd he dcasrted her. The ju'igo
aald he must support her. In default of
ball , U nnls went to jjil ,
Mayor Michael Nolan , of Albany , baa
just found out that hU daughter was mar
ried to J. B. Carroll , last November , by n
Catholic priest at the cathedral iu that
city , Carroll Ia the son of a coal dealer ,
and bad bees forbidden tbe house aevtral
times. The m&rrlage li now published
with a notice of ita repudiation by tbe
bride , on tbe ground that it waa without
consent of tbe bilJo's puenta and In a
parish to wljch tbe parties dld'taot belong.
A bottle of > cunarifai jNrer i'tie en-
ono to defy uttbms , nerrouiueci
and general debility ,
ANHEUSER-BUSCH 1
Brewing
Association ,
CELEBRATED
EXCELLENT BEER SPEAKS
Orders from any part of the State or the
Entire West will be promptly shipped :
All Our < > 'o < 7s lire Made ( o ( he Standard of our
Guarantee ,
GEORGE HENNING ,
Sole Agent for Omaha and the West.
Office Corner 13th and Harnoy Streets.
STEELE , JJHHSQN & CO. ,
LEBALE CfBOOERS
AND JOBBERS IN
Flour , Salt , Sugars , Canned Goods , and
All Grocerc' Supplies.
A Full Line of the Beat Brands of
OIGtlBS ABD lANMCTUEElJ TOBACCO ,
JLentB for BENWOOD HAILS AND LAFL N & RAND POWDER CO
-DEALERS IN-
Fire and Burglar
tea
o o ss : is o , ,
1020 Farnham Street ,
- - - W1O1
PERFECTION \ .
' "
HEATING'"AND BAKIMG
la only attained by using
CHARTER OAK
Stoves and Hanges.c
WITH
'
WIRE IfAUZE OVER DOORS ,
For ealo by
MllTO ROGERS & 39 KS
MORGAN & CHAPMAN ,
< 2I3 Farnam St. . Omaha.
BOLLN & SIEVERS. I H. BOLLN& CO. ,
1509 Douqlas Street. | Oor. IGth and California St.
OMAHA SEED DEPOTS.
HENRY BOLLN &GO
HITO brought to this city fiom Hie firms of tAcdredth & Son's , Philadelphia , and James M. Thar
burn ft Co. , New Yorfc , ttieUrjro-t itock ot Carc'ca nJ Field Heeds cvir Imported betoro to > i
city , illcf wh 1th are guaranteed to be Ireeh and true to tbe n tui.
Prices will ako te as low as any BesponsibJe Dealer can Make ,
mar IC-eod-tf _ HENRY BOLLN & 00.
J. A WAKEFIELD ,
WHOLESALE AND RETTAIL DKALKB IN
Lath , Shingles , Pickets ,
3A3H , , BUHDS , FOLDINGS , Ll E , CERSEH
3E117C8
ACKNJ TOE UIL\7AUKKK CSUC3I COKFA2TT
? Union Pacific DauotOMAHA ,
MANUKAOTUREK OP
iZEi
Window Caps , Fimals , Skylights , &c.
THIRTEENTH STREET , . . OMAIJA , NEB
F I
The only Coal mined west of the Mississippi River that ia enunl
in quality to the ROCK SPRING COAL.
THE ONLY IOWA COAL ,
That will Block for a year without slacking or ; > hrlnklng. ' "J ,
Pronounced by all the leading brick men in Western Iowa aa the very best
ooal for burning brick ever used tn the Vest.
EUREKA COAL AND MINING CO. ,
1 Frederic , Monroe Co. , Iowa.
\
(
I
