Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, December 23, 1882, Page 2, Image 2

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January 1st , 1883.
II von're waking , call mo early ,
011 me early , mother dear ,
That I may be up and well ptcpared
To welcome the new-born year ;
Set th < ) alarm At nine , mother ,
And call mo nt nine , my dear ,
Far I'm to receive thii year , mother ,
I'm to receive this year ,
Hero are my striped base , mother ,
Here are my ribbons Ray-
Hero Are my favtnder ltid ( , mother ,
Herein my white pelcay ;
TIere Is my princes ? batqtie , mother ,
And hero is the restot the pear
I'm so happy I cannot Bleep , mother ,
For I'm to receive this yearl
Have yon got the jellies made , mother
And nil of th * * weotmoats flxcd ?
Arc the punch ami ths nogg prepared ,
mother ,
And the champagne oosktatls. mixed ?
I'm frald there will be ft hitch , motter ,
When the guests nro gathering hero
I tremble and cannot sleep , mother ,
For I'm to receive this year !
On the Bobtail.
In the horsecar oft a coarse jar ,
Jolti the BBint tntl ninner noumlly ;
Shouts conductor : "lloom foronemorol"
All remonstrate rather roundly ,
Wedged in tighter , yet not lightly
Prouedare those who'ro jammed to
Hapless lastcs midst the masses
Of rude men in stormy weather ;
Ah , how fickle is the nickel
1'lated pleasure ol such travell
Some demand it ; how they stand it
None the secret can unravel.
Not "Mary andlUor.Lomb , " But-
Llljrhadaltttlo Fred ,
Who wasn't white AS saow ,
And everywhere that Lily wont
Freddie was sure to go.
He followed her to Boston town ,
Which made a great to-do ,
Why oven the newspapers sot np
Quite ft hullabaloo.
Ho wont to Ltly'a box one night ,
Which was against the rule ,
It made the people talk and say
"Send fresh school. "
that youth to .
So Mr. Mendum turned him out ,
13ut still ho lingered near ,
And waited patiently about
For Lily to appear.
' 'What makes Lily love Freddy so ! '
The j salons bachelors cry ;
"Why , Freddy has the cash , you know , "
Th multitudes reply ,
M.V. L.
Pompon dress trimmings grow ID favor.
He said her hair was dyed : and when oho
indignantly said , ' "Us false ! " ho said ho
prosumsd so.
Long French rodlngotos for street wear
are ma4o of stockinet , or Jorn y webbing ,
and trimmed with wide bands of fur.
, A wife woman will not light the lire
with kerosene , but will Invite the servant
girl to whom she owes three months wagon
to do the entno.
A Flatbush girl recently gave a quilting
party , and nil the girls contributed blocks
captured by tholr respective bulldogs. They
call it an ' 'album quilt. "
Alfred Jenkins , of North Carolina , ban
.sold bis wlto to n neighbor for $ . " 00. Sam
people are always imposing on the hospl
tallty of tholr neighbors.
The worst about kissing n 1'lttsburg girl
la that you carry the tnarka of coal tlusl
about your vote and other features untl
you roach the nearest pump.
An actress was offered n nealikln cloak
if she wouldn't speak for an hour. At th
end of seven minutes she exclaimed
"Mind , it's got to be n 3250 one. "
Fnr muffs are etill fashionable , but la'
dies like bettor the dainty little creation ,
of satin , plush and lace , and generally they
have n muff to match each and every full
dross costume.
An IDInoln court has dfclded that
woman's He about her ago doesn't rltlatt ,
her Insnranco policy. This la the first In
tlraatlon that women ever prevaricated
about Ruch matters.
The newest buttons for dress trimming
are of jst , allvor , bronze and wood carved
In odd designs , some of them representing
animals' heads , such as monkeys , lions and
tigers ; others are the carved heads of gods
and goddcaioa.
A full grown ostrich is worth $200. Wo
expect after announcing this fact to
hear of noino loader of femilo fashion tying
the legs ef an ostrich under her ohin anif
utilizing the entlro bird as a bonnet ,
Plush and French felt hats nro shown
with melon brims and melon crowns
The latest oddity Is a hat with a low crown
and a very narrow brim , those shapes to-
tumbling the metal hcad-plecoa worn by
Cromwell's men.
Block satin buttoned boots , with jot but
tons , are worn with dinner and rocoptlon
drosses. Handsome slippers for the
houie are of blank satin , with tquaro jet
buckles , that are worn with block silk
stockings ,
Kilted Scotch and other plaid skirts
with plain Jersey of one nolld color , and
scarf drapery covering the joining of bodice
and skirt , are still the most fashionable ,
serviceable , and bocomlng ichool dresses in
their teens. /
The novelties in bracelets are the
Helene , which is solf-holding , and consist *
of a flexible cell which fattens itself to the
arm ; a shopping bracelet with pencil at
tached , ann one of woven wire which also
cells round the arm and takes the place of
the serpent bracelet.
Recent statements in regard to the grows
ing prosperity of the city of New Oman-
would be much more satisfactory were
they not supplemented by the Informitlon
that the. publlo school teachers there bayonet
not received a penny of pay for several
aontbs , and that some of them are OB the
Seal-brown plush hate , closely rtsotn-
bllngieal chapeaux in shape and color ,
are made to look very stylish mid bund-
Boino by trimming them with a ( olden
pheasant on one side and n soft kiot of
plush on the other , held by n largo gold .
buckle set with Parisian gems of purest
Krrolne , so long accounted faahlcnablo ,
Is gradually being taken into favfr. A
bandiomo set displayed by a fashionable
furrier has a deep pelerine line wlttmineo-
tlnled satin , and a mull similarly lined.
On the outside of the mud , and ii rich
contrast to the tuow.wblte fur. is net a
large K st Indian bird with brilliant Mum-
age of scarlet , green and gold. |
Floe woolen goods have almost Aiper.
soiled tllk for street wear , . The mostptyl.
iih and tastefully dressed ladles to bdieon
on our streets wear tlio ot Vrenohcash.
mere camel's-bsdr or cloth iiuUbtdfUiiieU.
For cleirunt toilota they are comblnodwlth
silk. Very many of the wools alu la
roblngi , and the heavier ones arelcm-
broldcrecl in soutache with Arabaequd ( Je-
ftlgni. I
The Jcreey ulttor , so much In favor iltli
young ladles , follows every outline orthc
figure , which It makes to the greatetthp
parent length and least breadth. Tallin
warn ladled that ilitae garments are man
merely for walking , and that they mis
not nit down while wearing then
Stiiped black and white ullk and K\
plush linings are in the hoods of uug
ulsters. \
Jewelry , unless It is vety rich , is no'
almost wholly confined to a fancy lace pi
and earringr , to serpentine bracelets , an
one or two bangle rings. The new pins ai
simple , Lut odd. The bar Is a solid sllvi
pin with enlarge J bead , which nerve * as
jxjrch for a snail , a beetle , a tiny bird or
small row of nlea. There Is small sui
flower brooch which is very pretty , with
bee upon it ; but these designs are eaill
coarsened and mode common-looking I
being executed In an Infenor 'manner at
with cheap material * , A new flower eeri
in loco pini his the charm of especial sen
timent attached to e ch one ; M woodbine
friendship : tun , fincerily ; pjimrote ,
youthful brteollons , and periwinkle remem
Fancy wares , and the new and pretty
things in what rtny b called secondary
jewelry , that Is imMl articles In ( liver and
enameled or filigree wares that take fancy
form * , f r * almost uniformly produced thU
teafon in some shapes of insect or animal
life. Sporting men and women find Ink-
ttandi , table lamps , candlesticks , pen
fuckc , piptr welgh , 'watch ttand * , table
bolls , and many other things , all manufac
tured from hoof * , so finely prepared , and
so beautifully mounted with colored mUals
And diver as to bo at once nrttsllo and
highly ornamental One of the hand
somest novelties of this description con *
slits of hoofs forming the centre to a tripod ,
th * double wax light * of the lamp burning
clear underexrjulme VeneltanglMi shades.
This lamp costs from $150 to $100.
The old Mormon temple at Klrtland is
to bo repaired and reopened by the Mor
mon * .
Bhhop Merrill will go to Florida next
weev to attend his Methodist conference
in that and other southern states.
Bishop Ireland , of St. Paul , Minn. , has
Issued an edict prohibiting IHoman Catho
lics from acting as saloon-keepers.
Ms. llutherford Stuyvesant of St. Mark's
Kplecopal church , New York , Is building a
church for n mission of St. Mark's , at a
cost of $125,000.
Most of the speakers In the Baltimore
convention of the Episcopal church favor
the recognition of race distinction In the
church by having separate churches , min
i/item , and bishops for the colored people.
A new sect known as the Oathollo Aros-
tollc Church has come to light in Chicago.
The llev. E. Bailey Smith Is the leader ,
lie believes the prophets and apostles to
bo restored to-day , nnJ that the signs of
the times indicate the near approach of the
true religion.
Since Wohey , 1533. the following Brit
ish and Irish Cardinals have been created :
Flshfr , 1535 : Beaten , 1540 ; Pole , 1558 ; AlIen
Ion , 1591 ; Howard , 1G91 ; Nnrrlx , 1701 ;
York , 1867 ; Krsklne , 1811 ; Weld , 1837 ;
Acton. 1817 ; Wiseman , 1805 ; C'nllcn. 1878 ;
Manning , Howard , Newman , McL'abe ,
A ( church at CnesUr-le-strcot. In the
north nf England , was founded by the
monks of LIndlsfarno In 1833 ; the present
church , tbo third erected on tbo site , was
built In 1200. It Ii proposed next year to
commemorate the thousandth anniversary
of the founding of the parish by a reit > rn-
tlon of the present edifice.
The Spring Garden Presbyterian church
of Phllapolphla has secured for Its pastor
the Hov. Marujnsar M. Mangasarian , by
birth and early education a Turk. He
came to this country several years ago to
bo educated for thn ministry , lie Is said
to bo an eloquent and improsiivo preacher.
The Rav. lr. Hugh Miller Thompson is
tbo fifth bishop taken within twelve yoari
from the pulpit of Trinity Protestant
Kplicopal church , NBW Orleans , the others
being Blshopi Plorco of Arkansas , Beck-
with ot Georgia , Harris of Michigan , and
Uallohor of Louisiana.
lu a hulldlnp which was erected In 1097
at Jnnklnntown , V& , on December 3 , over
COO QaakoM mot tu colebroto the two hun
dredth anniversary of the first meeting of
the Society of Friemlj. An address was
delivered on "The Early History of the
Quaker Community , ana its effects in Promoting
meting a Higher Civilization. "
The Hov. Dr. Magoon , of the Broad
Street Baptist church , Philadelphia ,
preached in a Jewish synagogue on
i'hankiglving day. Nearly every neat In
the synngoguo WM occupied , and defer
ence to their guest every Israelite in the
audience , with onoor two exceptions , nat
with uncovered heads. Dr. Jastrow , the
rabbi of the cone-rogation , introduced the
reverend gentleman , saying that by his ac
ceptance of the invitation to occupy the
pulpit then had been no surrender of opin
ion , no compromise of religious views on
either sldo. "Wo agree to disagree oncer-
tain points , Lut there are many more on
which we agree to agree for all time to
come , and chief among them are our love
of nation and love of humanity. "
. .TU.aj.l JUUUa .nnt.lcai.lU , Uat.Ult
Uhlcacro baa produced a great many hero-
tica. Among the most prominent may be
mentioned , Dr. Collvor , Bishop Cheney.
Prof. Swing , Dr. Thomas , Mr. Wllcox and
Mr. Mlln. And In comment The Blade
makoi this nignlficant statement : "The
fact of these ministers giving up orthodox
views for what are termed heretical ones
would not bo so significant but for the
truth that they are to-day muro popular
than over before , and draw larger audl-
oncoi together. It will not do to put this
down simply to thelrelcquenco , but it goes
to shon a state of things that must be re
cognized and accepted by the churchoa and
acted upon If they would preserve tboir
Influence ) for good. Go through these of
Toledo to-day , and If the members spoke
the truth , nine out of ton would expren
their disbelief in a mo of tbo caullnal doc
trine ; , such as eternal punishment , burn
ing iu a literal lake of lira and brimstone ,
tht everlasting damnation of unbapttzed
or nonoloct infants , etc. , etc. It la a neces
sity that religious creeds be reconstructed
or the churches will loaa their hold upon
the people more and more every year , "
Sumo one has mnJo the novel discovery
that tbo oat Is uowhoro mentioned In the
bible. It 1 * also observnblo that neither la
tbo bootjack.
A Philadelphia preacher told tbo wo
men of hla congregation that divine truth
could not find Itn way info hearts that
wore cramped by coraoU.
Ilonry WardBeecher testified before the
senate commUtoo In New York lost Satur
day that be dealt in futures. It Ii hardly
probable , how erer. that Henry i Belling
any Ueocber short { uit now.
othloR annoys the manager of a church
festival moro than to have ouo visitor say
in n rather loud tone to another : ' 'Have
they ever tried plating war-ships with this
sort of landwlcheaT'1
The Kev. Charles Anderson , of Hock-
ford , 111 , , has been arrcnttd fur alleged
fraud In conveying property that vrai nut
bit own. The roses seem to be falling in
cluatera this season.
John the Biptlit , Peter and Judu
threaten to etriko for ( alary la the Passion
play , while 1'iUto and Herod play an en
gagement as end men in holding down the
drop curtain ou the opening ulgtit , until
their demands are acceded to. The play
promises to bo n spectacle for the gods unJ
A cruel Joke Is reported in n
paper , Tno promoters of a church i bazar
received an offer from Manchester of n
horse M d trap , and * ' < "fly accented It.
Ono of them then went to the railway
station to receive the present , which proved
to be n clothes-hortd and a UIOUHO trap ,
There Is a lady llvlui ; in Lexington who
believes In doing overythlug In a hurry ,
The other morning hi was employed cut'
ting wood while the family were at pray
ers. Upon allalng from her'kuecs the Tint
thing she said was : "That boy didn't
strike but three licks whlla we were ut
prayers , " OaltthorpeG ( . ) Kcho , ,
A doz and his tall fell Into a dispute aa
to which should wag the other , An ( Itlu.
erant wasp passing that way casually re
marked : " .Speaking of taile , remlndu me
that I POSSCUB one which may posttbly be
Inlluentlal enough to wag you both , " This
f < tble tearhea that 10 cents' worth of dyo-
amtto Ii a bigger man than a church iteo *
pie ,
On Bunday of last week the Duke of
ire i Newcastle , a plain , a smooth-faced blond
verlyouth ot 18 , attemptcti to attend divine
a services at St. JohnV , WashlnrtoD , D. 0.
a 13elng used to free churchrc , he was very
an. \nuch \ put out when be was first made to
ha valt In the vestibule , and when finally he
MM turned away because there woa no
by room for him be returned to bis hotel quite
md indignant. The mcwt absurd part of the
Its ii that the religious people have come
tut with explanations. If they had only
nown that It w g the Duke of Newcsdie
o would have been promptly placfd In tbo
cst pew wbatis now known M the Cream
"ho ; church.
It did not need Mr. Cumberland to
ome all the wny from KagUnd to New
fork to demonstrate that whit ore called
Vpitit rnpiilnna" MO produced byphynlcal
Islocallon in the hind or foot. That was
.emonitrated yearn ago by Ijnir , the
irratlchu bandof Ilia U y who later bo-
: ame the llev. Cella M. Burlclgb , to the
atlffactlon of all skeptic * . The toenap -
ilng theory , s it it called , ia quite a quar-
er r > f century old.
"By His Friend. "
A olanlln ? sl b of tone ,
With mosiei orcrgrown ,
StaDditeontlnnl , nloue ,
O'er a motin'l ;
Stray lottoro , half crwod ,
JJut faintly can be traceJ
Where ibtulnwH , interlaced ,
Flutter 'round.
The legend h but brief
No long-dr wn words of grief ,
Benoatb the wheaten elicit
Make nad ahow ;
Ailmple name and date
Ills Brit Mi birth relate
And toll when crnel fate
Laid him low.
1 fold I Something more is here ,
Concealed by granics eere
Letters that once were cleir ,
At the end ;
Thi monies pluck aatde !
"This stone , with loving pride ,
Tribute to him who died ,
By kis friend. "
Ah time ! Ihlne cn lou tooth ,
Growing , devoid of truth ,
At stone and clay forsooth ,
Havoc maltfl ;
Yot. though the letter" fade ,
And shrink , as If afraid ,
Into the ftlnb deoiyed ,
Friendship wakes.
Long alnce forgot nre they
! < oth Irienda rein1 nod to clay ;
Yet In this later day
Endless youth
Is given the tenderness ,
Lore , and sweet tbuiightfulness
Which thono few words express
In their truth.
Thm chances it that I
Strolling but Idly by
Where the dead burled lie-
Fee ! my heart
Touched by the love they gave
Hearts that so close here clavo
That e'en death and the grave
May not parti 8.
Mr. Ilonry Tcneyck-White , the humor-
t of the Ghlcago Trlbuno , was married
at week to Miss Fanny Drlscoll , the
oetoss , of Wisconsin ,
Mies Jounlo Allen , of Montgomery ,
la. , pronounced by,0 car Wilde to be
10 most beautiful woman in America ,
as recently married to Mr. Henry D.
lay ton , Jr. , of Eufaulo , in the same
; ftte.
A young Jewess applied nt the Now
ork police central ollica for a permit to
o married next Sunday in a puollc hall
ith the accompaniments. In addition to
10 wedding feast , of tnuetc and dancing.
"cr application was denied.
President Arthut'd young ton in not to
o married just at present. The miss be
Bald to bo engaged to Is only sixteen
cam old and young Arthur bat > u't cut bis
ock teeth. It Is quite likely that by the
me the lady guts out of her loading
trlnga , she will inako up her mind to mar-
j a man.
A novel bridal trip has been made by a
, 'oxan ' and his wife. W. J. McLane , the
wnor of a $100,000 farm in Concbo coun-
y , made the trip from his home to San
Lntonio , a distance of 160 miles , with his
ride , in a wagon. After a short stay in
be city they proceeded on their way to the
oast. Mr , McLane la ever CO years old
nd hU wife is about SO.
Miss Hutu Monroe Gcuverneur , the
roateat granddaughter of President Mon
week , was the third of her family in a
direct line to bo married in that city. Her
rrandc. other , Maria Monroe , was married
a the Whlto House while her father was
'resident , and the son of that marriage ,
Simuel Gouvernour , the father of laal
vook'a bride , was married in Washington
o Miss Campbell , of Now York' .
The mnrriago of the duka of Genoa am
? rlnco9s Isabella of Bavaria Is to take
> Iace in a few months , probably some time
n April , The duke It brother to Queen
tf argarot and first cot sin of the king o
Italy. The princess in an accoinplinhec
Italian scholar' , reading aud Bceaklng the
auguago of her future husband with groa
acuity. She is II ) years of age. having
icon born in August , 1863. She ia said to
)0 pious , amiable and well educated. Tht
OUDR oouplo will reside chiefly at Turin
vhord their wedding festivities are to bi
leld. Thofo ia some talk of a grand cour
loust or tournament ou tbo occasion ,
IIiOKOiir , N. O. , December 14. Soda
circles iu this vicinity are in a flutter o
excitement over the mysterious disappear
ance of a bridegroom just at the time when
the minister , bride and guests were wait
For the marriage to take place. Mr. An
drew Miller had been a long time alfiancec
to Mies Kutella Moore , one of the piettie ;
and most charming young ladiea of thi
place. Six o'clock this evening was th
time fixed for the wedding , and all th
guests wore assembled , the wedding feast
Bet cut , and the minister standing in the
middle of the parlor ready to perform the
ceremony. After waiting for some time
after the hour fixed the groom's best man
was sent to his residence to ascertain the
cause of the delay. Ho found the young
man's room unlocked , the wedding suit ,
including the wedding gloves lying on tbo
bed , a trunk open , from which it won evi
dent a supply of clothing had Lion taken ,
and fa card lying on the mantel with the
two words written In pencil , "Gone weak"
The bride bore the inteliigoncu calmly
The cause of the flight of the bridegroom
is a mystery. The situation of sff * * *
rendered more cmbarratflBg by thjJf J
that au evening paper near hero I *
tq get ahead of iu contcmporari *
piled the we-ldlng irflts ff o'c > o *
coming out with a descrlptl'1'
etc. , and winding up wUV „ . , . „ .
thefrJv-d nS " '
of the couple on
At a stylish th'Urlde chur-S w was * lnK attiroi , °
* '
York last
iurn ii i w .
tr d , jreM of pearl-colored
, . a i ttiooat of brocadq trtomed
, wu u.u Brustols laoe , the gilt of the
Croou.8 ' mother. She wore a sua 1 wreath
5f orange blossoms and stopharotii , auj a
tnllo veil fastened with a dlinund and
pearl butterfly , the e t of thogrcom. Her
other ornament * weio a eejylace and
bracelets of pearls fastened w/4 tiny Ufa.
mend clasps. Thp bridesuiol ? were p lo
gold.colored n ln and lace , rea e , with
shirroil hats and ostrich pluses to match.
Over the shoulders were Undsome lace
berthas fastened with pc * " and lapis
lazuli neo. , the gift of tbi tf . ud each
carried huge bouquets of , jrtason M tea
ro e , also p.esentod bf Wp- . Among the
thU cocasi.n
defiant toilets worn uix
corded silk , re-
was one of d rk roytl him
Kevedby dark r 6yvel t kilt nB8. Ihe
iderfleath the Louis
- , worn u
XIV bodlre , waa B rlvcovcred with dark
blue Buipiirejaoe. The bonnet was on
artibtlo combination of dark blue silk and
ruby rclvet , with iuinea , to tchAn- ; . ,
otto striking dwsa conalsted of a black
iclvet underskirt \ith prlncesie polo-
nalie of white Ollna crape , richly em.
kroldered In whltoiilk , and edged with a ,
deep frlngo of wnlb silk chenille , pearl
beaded. 1'ho bl k velvet bonnet was
nearly covered wifa white oatrica tipi.
We answer , hinor bright , it will cure
rheumati ni , nnl the severest casei too.
Dr , Thomu' Metric OH was pe alJy
prepared for W rhoumatlo and lame No.
tloeletten froa the people > > to IU
paper' ' th8 coun <
nicrita In neorV every
The Myetlo'a ObrlBtmns
DT JOHN a , wiiirriRn.
'All halll" the bells of ChristmM rang ,
'All litiil" the monks at ChrlntmM ita
'he merry monks who kept with cheer
The gladdest day of all their year.
tut still apart , unmoved there it ,
L pious elder brother * at
llent. In his accnstomod place ,
Vlth God's sweet peace upon hii face.
'Why fitt'.t thou thnb ? " his brethren
cried ,
'It Is the blessed ChrUtmai-tiie ;
'he Chrlntma * lights are all aglow ,
'he sacred lilies bud and blow.
'Abovo our ho d the joy-bells ring ,
Vithout the happy chtk'ren ling ,
mtl all God's creatures hall thn morn
On which the holy Christ woi born ,
'Kejolco with us ; no moro rebuke
) ur gladnots with thy quiet look. "
'he gray m nk answered : "Keep , I pray ,
iven as ye lUt , the Lord's birthday.
jet heathen Yule fires flicker red
Vhere thronged refetory feasts are spread :
Vlth and uinsque and mime
And watt song speed the holy tm ! l
The blindest faith may haply saves
he Loid accepts the things wo hare ;
Lnd reverence , hjweoo'er it strays ,
lay find at last the shining ways.
"They needs must grope who cannot see ,
he blade before the ear must be ;
LS ye are feeling I htve felt ,
Vnd where yo dwell I , too , have dwelt.
Out , now , boyor.d the things of sense ,
ieyond oscaslona and events ,
know , through God's exceeding grace ,
leleate from form and time and place.
gluten , from no mortaltongue ,
o hear the song the angels sung ;
And wait within myself to know
The Christmas lilies bud and blow.
: hs outward aymboli disappear
rom him whoso inward sight is clear ;
And small must bo the choice of days
To him who fills them all with praise !
"eep whllo you need it , brothers mine ,
Vlth honest zeal your Christmas sign ,
iut jndgo not him who every morn
eels in his heart the .Lord Christ born , "
The Youth's Companion.
In fiihlng fur krabs use ynr fingtrs for
alt ; jo kun feel then when they fust bit * .
Josh Billings.
"Our young men are coming to the
rent , " cries a political journal. It doesn't
ook that way in the theatre. Juit as many
> alrl heads in the front row as over.
A Delaware family has lost throe chil-
ren by the toy pistol , and the other three
uvo boon instructed to carry bowie-knives
"Convict this man of ( being a rambler ? "
alrt the TCXIIB judge. "I won't hear of it.
te'a an infant in cards ! Why , I beat him
ut of $130 last night when I wai pretty
runk , too. " Boston Pott.
A ( Tlorida man killed a rattlesnake by
irowing a glass of whiiky in its face. It
wasn't the effect of the liquor that caused
IB reptile's death , but it was the horror of
le man's reckless extravagance.
The foolish man sayeth to himself : "I
will blow In the muzzle of this empty
; un , " and the * Ue coroner will say in his
eport : "Accidentally blowed to the here-
fter. "
od bless the man that first invented sleep ,
tiald Sancho Paozi , and so say I.
ut curse the man with curses loud and
deep ,
\Yh first invested , and.tbon went round
advising ,
That artificial patent cut-off early ris
ing. Saxt.
Canned meat weighing not mora than
our pounds can be eent through the malls
as fourth-class matter. Now if congress
men will tend their hungry constituents
corned beef instead of public documents ,
hey will render a service that cannot be
upplled by the transmission of patent
ofhpe reports.
ATatrolt ) nittalitts built a furnace in
which rcfnko tinware , such as oyster cans ,
'ruit cans , etc. , may be treated in such a
manner that the solder is restored to com
merce , and the rheots of tin , being rerolled ,
are available for binding the edges of
wooden trunks. Michigan goats are in
lard luck , this year.
An assortment of national chin music
was gathered in Baltimore the other day.
The drummers of the country had a con
vention. The particular object of this
lathering was the protest agtinat the
Maryland sample of the article , for exam
ple , paying an enormous tax in far away
itatoa merely for the privilege of showing
tils wares and "mashing" every woman h/
, n ,
The lion. Ben Perloy Pooro is goine to
write au article fur the .Rural New Yorker
on the subject of making farm homes
happy. Those are the proper ways to
make a farm house happy : 1. Take ( < tf the
mortgage with an oyster knife 2 , Teach
the women not to make aaleratua biscuits
and to make pumpkin pies thicktr than a
poet's epidermis , 3. Toa'ch the ancient
agrlcola the importance of adjusting i
pair of boxing gloves ou the hind legs of i
mule. Puck
Ho was a pretty close man , withou
doubt. At breakfast he cut an egg lo two
and cave the n w hired m n ouo-halt 0
it. The help ate It and held oat his plate
for more. "What ! " griped Jhp host
"Want ahull egg ! " "oVcour.el do , " salt
the man. The boss s r d blankly at him
a moment , aud tlww pushing the half egg
across the table , snappishly cried : "Tak
It , eat It , and il'j ' yourself. " The man
When a v n comes in at 3 o'clock in thi
morning nV throws his silk hat on thi
floor aud Xs overcoat ou the mantle-piece
and th x8t ! ° f his clothes all nround , ant
nlll rjven cents and a night-bey on thi
CJtrjy ( , and lies down on the writing desk
ou/hauls an evening paper under bis chin
, jd tucks the ink under his feet , then , oh ,
then , it Is atfo to wager that he baa speni
eight dollars trying to win a Thanksgiving
turkey w.nrth two dollars , and that he boa
participated in various celebrations of tri
umpli with the winners , Puck.
Invalid wivoi nnd mothora quickly
restored to health by ualnpf Brown'a
Iron Bittern. 'A true tonio.
ASIHIUUNIUM , WASS. , Jan , 14 , ' 80.
I have boon very Dick over two
yoarn. They oil gave roe up as past
euro. I tried the most Bkillfal phvsi-
elans , but they did not reach the worat
part. The lungs nnd heart would fill
up every night and distress me , and
my throat was very bad. I told my
children I nqvcr should die in peace
until I had tried Hop Bittern. I
mvo taken two bottlea. They have
lelpedmo very much indeed. lam
low well. There was a lot of sick
olka hero who have eeen how they
mo , nnd they used them nnd
and feel aa thankful ns i do
tliatyraU B0 Vflluablo a
.fop much ca V 'j
faithful wife Kduother ' couVntly
watchlmjaud caa ? for Ler' dear
never neglecting a ? , ie duty | n tileir bol
half. When theyariK ajied by disease ,
and the system &w\r \ -
0 -thorough
cleansing , the stomach Ju Jowei8 ) re ,
lated , blood purified , kud' . , ! t)0i0n
extenninated , the must knw the that
Klectrio Bitters are the only remedv
They are the be t and purest JMidne fn
the world and only cost fifty ceu , c-0ij
by 0. Y. Goodaui. '
Four Feet Wide
Seven Feet Long ,
Compiled under direction o An
drew Rosewater , Ciy
Engineer ,
And Examined and Couipired by
George Smith , Couuiy
.t Surveyor
Thereby making it tin
Over Six Mouths work upon It a\a \
Coat of about $1,600. '
laid out up tp tliia date. 'Also ' al )
public and private buildings of
note photographed thereon.
Shows all New Railway and
Depot tire mills ,
All property nhown and described
within half u milo south and west of
city limits , and all within ono mile
north of north boundary of city ,
Fully Mounted ,
Colored , Varnished
And Cloth Backs.
Geo. P. Bemis
Real Estate Agency ,
.T. O . J3IRO"W JsT &s GO
Boots and Shoes
Lath , Shingles , Pickets ,
Near Union Pacific Denot , OMAEANB
O. IB1.
virz3co3c.xii3u9LX.xi xzer
Window and Plate G'ass. '
MT Anyone contemplating building store , bank , or any other fine will find It to their ad
antago to corres end with us before purchasing their Plate Qlag * .
Storage , Commission and Wholesale Fruits ,
1421 & 1423 FARNHAM STREET.
gontb- - for Peofc & Baushers Lard , and Wilbor Mills Flour1
, - - -
Flour , Salt , Sugars , Canned Goods , and
All Grocers' Supplies.
A Full Line of the Best Brands of
: PAPER : ! : ,
Steam Pumps , Engine Trimmings ,
, nn a UAOH KET , ,
ngmra m
Cor. Farnam and 10th Streets Omaha , Neb.
Fire and Burglar ProD
1020 Far n ham Street ,
1213 Farnam St. . Omaha , Neb.
is only attained by using
Stoves and Ranges. "
For sale byj