"if iHE DAILY JBEEi OMAHA SATUBDAY , MAY & 7 , 1882 The Omaha Be < Pnblisbcd every morning , except Bond Coo only Monday morning dally , XKKM3 BY MAIL- Ona V ar 810.00 I Three Months.$3 Blx Months. o.OO | One - . 1 rHK WEEKLY BEB , pnblUtcd ty Wednesday. HEUMS POST PAID. Ono Yfar. . . . . $2.00 I ThreoMooths. 4" BlrMcUh 1.00 | One " . or NcwsdcAlcrs in the Uniteu ' OOIIUESPUNDENOE-AI1 l tiona rclatini ; to New find Edltori * ! m era nhottld bo addressed to the EDITOB BUSINESS LUTTEUa All Bvwln Iiottcra nnd Remittances should be i drosFcdtoTiiB OMAHA PunusniNa Co rAirr , OMAHA. Druft * , Chocks and Po office Orders to bo mnde payable to t order of the Comprtny. OMAHA PBBIrairoOlFEOplr Ei nOSEWATER. Editor. NOTICE TO NEWSDEAIiERS , The publishers of THE DBF. Imve m.v arranRements with llic Anicricnn Xe < Company to supply News DtpoU in III nol , Iowa , " Ncbrnekft , Wyoming M TJtoh. All dealers who keep Till ! DAII UKP.on s la should hereafter address the orders to the Mannger wVmorlcan No > Company , Omaha , ICeb. WHKK a legislature faih to oxprc public sontitnout it 1ms outlived i usefulness. COMUINATION nowadays , especiall in transportation , is moro powerfi than competition. TWENTY Omaha sharks smell tl spoils a board of public works. I their works yo shall know them. HAIUIONY , harmony , is still thocr hut the republican lamb refuses to 1 down inside the corporation lion. THE clerk of the weather does m intend to lot Omaha forgot the fat . 'i M that she is badly in nocdof pavemonti QUEEN VICTORIA has just passe her sixty-third birthday , nnd lu scape-grace son is solemnly pondorin over the fnct , that she is in unusual ! good health and comes of a long live race. race.A A KENTUCKY legislator was suddor ly stricken lost week with pavalyaia c the tonguo. That's the ailHctio which Cams wishes had struck hit before ho placed himself on record t a corporation capper , and corrupt g between in the interests of the mom polics. AHOTIIBU pool comprising all th points in Nebraska reached by the I & M. , Union Pacific and Sioux ( 'it roads has boon agreed upon in Oh cago. When railroads pool their ii sues the people ought to meet thoi more than half way with a detormin tion to secure their rights. SEVERAL of the members of the la legislature , who propose to go on tl stump during the comping campaigi will go "up the stump" before H : canvass is ended. Deeds not wore is what the voters of Nebraska pn pose to base their judgment of caud datea upon. TUB idea rules the man The soi of Montgomery Blair is said to t possessed of two absorbing idea : First to make Samuel J. Tildcn tli democratic candidate for president i 1881 ; and second to bo himself tl democratic candidate for congrc from one of the Maryland districts. TUB newly discovered and wondroi Warren county oil well is creating panic among the petroleum bulls : Pennsylvania. The well flows 8 ( barrels a day , and haa already demo alizod the trade , the price of cruc petroleum dropping on the strong ! of of its performances from $1.00 ' CO cents a barrel. Striking oil , f < the Warren county drillers , moai striking the bod-rock of disappoin mont for a largo number of largo ope atom who have boon holding how stocks. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ PuoviDENOii smiles on Phinoas 1 Barnutn , and provides gratuitous at yortising on the most unlikely oca uiou. Last Sunday night the Ho' Robert Collyer spoke in the Ohurc of the Messiah , New York , upo "Emerson , " When ho rose to bogi his lecture , ho said : "I see P. 1 Barnum sitting in a back pow of th church , and I invite him to cenio fo ; ward and take a seat in my famil pow , Mr. Barnum always gives good seat to mo in his circus , and want to give him as good a one in ni church ! " Mr. Barnum took the set amid the amilea of the congrogatioi Mr , Collyor tbon began his lecture. Church Uowo labors for railros interests from pure principle , withoi hope of reward , according to his test mony. But ho frankly says that lit ho boon chairman ot the railroad con mitteo 6 ! the housa of represent in place of J. 0. Hobborts , ho woul have "niado the railroads como 1 time. " [ Seward Reporter. Church Howe was chairman of tl railroad committee three years agi and after erndtboring every bill tin had boon submitted to his committci he reported b ok that there was c uood of railroad Vjgfflla on. It io ea < to ssy the'raUro d haa to come dow handsomely for t Croport , in ni dition to furniiuing Church aunui over the'Cinaha bridge an mile of the U , P. and B. railroad eyitem , THE PENNSYLVANiA REVOI The Independent Republicans Pennsylvania have mot in convonti < adopted n ringing platform nnd not natod an excellent elate ticket. Ev ( ono of the candidates is taken from i republican ranks nnd is known M staunch advocate of republican prin plos. Stnto Senator Stownrt , t nominee for governor is n lawyer unimpeachable reputation. Gene : Daft and Major Morrick , candidnl for lieutenant governor nnd sccrotn of internal aflairo , nro old soldiers wide popularity and of known ink rity. William McMichaJ , who ru for congressman at largo , falls in i Bcnso behind the rest of Hio tickc With these men nominated by tl best blood of the party in n convo tion elected by the untrammcll voice of the people at open primari nnd caucuses , the independent ropu' icans of Pennsylvania throw dev ho gauntlet , to the Oamoron clan ai ppcal to the voters of the Koystoi tate for their influence nnd suppot No now political organization c ; ay claim to the popular oar withoi urnishing sound reasons for its exit mco , and sufllciont grounds for its o ioaition to prevailing parties. Wh s the basis of the revolt of the Pen : ylvania republicans , and what end ( hey intend to subsorvo by broakir may from the regular republican o runization under Senator Oamorc ind his followers ? Thr chief groun or the warfare which the Pennsylvi iia independents have inaugurate ipon the regular organization , an rhich sums uy all the other con ilaintp , is a determination that ropu1 ican sentiment upon matters of pul ic and party policy shall no longer t upprosscd by an oflico-holding nndi > lKc-dictating nristodracy. No eta IBS suflerod morn than Ponnsylvan rom the personal rule of a gang < nscrupulous politicians whoso dev < ion to party principles has boo pleasured by their power of uocurir. > arty rewards , and who have romors csslyjusod the nomicatingand elector lachinory of the state to furtlu lioir own ends at the expense of roe and unbridled expression of it opular will. The Pennsylvania ii opondonts differ from the rcguli arty organization only in their a ] roval of men and methods. The onounca "tho insolence , the pcrscci ion nnd the tyranny of boBsism" i xomplifiod in the ( Jamcron syaton 'hoy protest that the party is only ollection of individual voters , not n tutomaton to register iho decree i olitical dictators , and they doman tiat its primaries , caucuses and coi entions shall bo open to erory r < ublican who can bo shown to bo sucl ndopcndont of their views upon cat Udates or loaders. The other declor , ions of the platform for civil sorvii oform and the elevation of the pu io service spring directly from th lamand , the basis of the movomon 'iz : * ho free and conscientious oxei iso of private judgment in politic ; flairs. Public sentiment must no longer I lirottlod by unscrupulous politic ; jansgors. This cry the bold protei f the Pennsylvania republicans wi liortly ring in every atato which ; uflforing under the same abuses. 1 ho party organizations are so flrml ontrollod by men whom the poop' ironld gladly repudiate if the oppo unity only presented itself ; if tl nominating and electoral machine ) of the party is usurped by aolGsh at tronal politicians or controlled by co porato monopolies , and if no oxcrci af the popular will can shako the ; rip on the heart of political instil ions , the only course which remains hat adopted by the independent r ? ublicana of Pennsylvania. Wbi jossism becomes so strong that aughs at the protests of tl voters , it is high time th ho people should take the ma or in their own hands and aocor jlish the reform within the party possible , and without it if no oth ourso remains open. Freedom , unioi lationulity , equal rights before tl aw these are the foundation princ ilos of the republican party which r epubllcan will willingly surrondo t is by reason of their adhorom o these principles that ropublicai nsist that ptrty sentiment must mal tsolf felt in party councils if the cai idatos there placed in noininatic xpect to receive party support. OTHER LAMDS THAX OURS. Prinoo Bismarck s aucccsain maua nr { the internal affairs of Gorman oos no appear in as favorable a ligl a his ability to act as the arbiter i ho difucultioa of Franco. lie hi ilqnally failed in securing , as 1 aopod , sufficient parliamentary auj ) ort for his pet measure , the tobacc nonopoly , to carry it through tl Heichstag , The committee ( o wliic ho subject was referred has voted an oportod agaicst the govornmoi iroposltion by a majority of 2-i to < tnd the fate of the measure in tli leichstag itself appears therefore n onrfor doubtful. But Biamarok 1 mown as ono of these statesmen wh lever acknowledge a defeat , and nl hough it is given out that he wt lot dhsolvo the Heichatag on accouu f the rejection of lib principal meai re , ho will bring this bill before i gain and again , and have it argue vor nnd over in parliament , and i lection campaigns , until it is final ! put through by main force of per ( cranco , if ho hvca long enough to ti out the opposition , The concessions which ho made the Catholics by the repeal of the pri cipal feature of the celebrated Fc laws have BO far failed to produce t expected results. They have r elicited from the Vatican any jnlua. } expression of satisfaction in the w of nn nsaurnnco that , now the Chur considers itself at peace with the sir nnd will net accordingly. To n fii will supported by atrongth , I Church has aomoliinea bowed , woiti for bettor times. But n yielding , co dilatory policy en the part of ita o pononts hoa nlwaya reanimated ai stilTonod in the church the spirit domination. The policy of "ov < whelming generosity" with regard the church question , which has boi recently announced by members of tl Gorman'governmont , will in all pro ability only result in this , that tl Vatican will always bo ready to tal what it can got , nt the same tic ( juicily expressing its expectation moro. The arrears bill has boon introduci n parliament , and discussion of i 'caturcs alternates with debate on tl now coercion moasuro. The nrron \ct is in substance identical with i jmondmont suggested by Parm nhilo in prison , and proposed in pa lament by Mr. Redmond , April 2 md at that time warmly endorsed 1 ilr. Gladstone. It is now introduci > y the ministry ns a separate mcaaur [ t provides aa follows for the roli } f tenants in regard to arrears i rents : The tenant is to pay the ot Boar's rent duo August 31 , 1881. ' . the rent does not exceed § 160 n yea md if ho ia unable to pay arrears fi irovious years , ho may apply to and commission proposed by the bil xnd if that commission is satisfic .hat ho ia so unable , it may grant tl andlord ono year's rent , or an amoui lot exceeding one-half the arrear IB a gift from the government , to I undo out of the church surplus fun < ! n thus adopting as ita own a propos ; ion practically originated by Poniel jiving ample redress to evicted tei ints and tenants in arrears , and , i < ho same time , dealing generous ! irith the landlords , who will lese n nero than a year's rent and that i nest cases baok rent which they hav lot excepted to recover the govort nont demonstrates earnestness of il tfforts to make the condition of aflaii n Ireland moro tolerable , and do a n its power to ensure peace and ha ; nony in that unhappy land. Bub when will harmony bo rostoret tfot until self government is grantee o the Irish.pooplo. English miniatoi iavo tested every other method < ruling "troublesome Ireland , " but tl ) no method of permitting her to rul lorself in all that pertains to loci ( ovornmont. Irish landlording mui ; o. By this is not meant that thoi nust bo no landlords in Ireland. Mi ) avitt never intended any auch cor truction to bo placed on his word. . ountry without tenantry is incot eivnblo , Ireland for the Irish , c i tralia ia for the Austrians , an wda for the Canadians , bound the t ho British .empire only in nam uling themselves , enacting their ow aws and fostering their own indui ries. The summary of marriage nnd birt returns in Franco present a atartlln jxhibit. At the rate in which th French population grow in 1800 , : would have doubled in 145 years. A the rate at which it is now growing , would double in 4IU ( years , or , in othc words , is virtually stationary. Thei waa a alight increase in marriage iuiing the two or three years follor ng the war , owing to postponement luring the war , but over since 187 here has been a marked decline , hot n marriages and in births , illogit mate aa well aa legitimate. It ia wit ho Germans that the French writoi now anxiously and for obvious roasoi compare the national produotivcuos > nd there is but little comfort to I Dot ; in that way , for the Gorman birtl ire I ) 01 par hundred of populatloi wrhilo the French nro only 2.47. If ivoro not for the Gorman emlgratioi in fact , the French outlook would I eery daik , The lowness of the doat rate at first looks consolatory , but the axamination shows this to bo duo < he smallnosa of the number of ohi Iron , who in all countries make tb argost contribution to the bills i mortality. The Egyptian crisis still alarms tli sorto , and his khedive who tremble jndor the protecting guns of th English and French squadrons. Aral 3ey holds a firm hand on thu in ional troops nnd refuses eubmisaioi [ 'lio'alliod powers demand the exile c \.rabi Boy and the entire ministry c ho khedive , the ostablisment of 01 or under the late government and uarantoo of the porte that th ; hodivo shall bo protected in his dc liuion in Egypt , The political condition of Mexico i otter than it lias been for yean 'resident Gonzale * is practically die ator , and rules without any opposi ion from revolutionary conspirators rhllo the people devote thomiolvoa t < asUting in the development of tin ountry and the arts of peace , Gen zalos keeps a firm grasp on the rci of government. lie recently inform the Mexican congress that "tho eli tion for judges of the suoromo coi nnd for nttornoy general of the nati pass off very quietly. " The facts t that the elections were n shalli force , only n very few persons votiti nnd no ono daring to oppose the gc ornmcnt candidates. It is higl probably , however , tnat this dictnl rial reiffn of Ganzalos ia just wfc Mexico needs. Despotisms nro oft the nurseries of republics , and th are always' preferable to annrcli During the tyranny of Napoleon It there wcro sown among the people Franco seeds of liberty which ripen into the present republic. It is combating despotism and fighting < their rights that men acquire the vi tues requisite to preserve and dofci them. The Mexicans nro not fit ( solf-govornment to-day. If Gonzal can keep peace among them while t material intoreita of the country a being developed , the full onjoymo of their constitutional liberties wet ot belong delayed. Imitating her great sisters DC mark Is about tpymicnd $18,500,0 in building nUTfortifications for ti protection of Copenhagen , nnd i creasing her 'floetJfTho insignifican ' of Donmnrk Mfajp'owor in Euro ] make these oxpondituroslittlolcssthi ridiculous. It is only bccauso of tl jealousy and distrust of the great power than Denmark still exists as i independent country. It is the kite to the Baltic and adjacent gulfs Finland and Bothnia. Russia at Germany , while on friendly term MO mutually interested in loavii Denmark situated as at present , but trar between these powers would 1 jura to involve that little kingdom : lifliculties , ns well as Sweden. Tl lympathios of Denmark nro with Ru iia , not from any special love bon io that country , but because of Dai ah hatred against Germany growii > ut of the loss of their provinces : 188-t. Sweden , on the other ham mpellod by her doalro to recover Fii and , absorbed by Russia in 180 ivould ally horaolf with Germany. In n war between the two coi inontal gianta little Denmark woul lot bo permitted to remain neutra > ven if her doairo inclined that wa ; md upon the defeat of either Russ > r Germany ita national existent vould bo imperiled. If Germar ihould prove victor , Denmark woul sertainly be absorbed in the great on ) ire. For Denmark to wait for son riondly power to come to its asais mco would bo an absurd idea. Dei nark haa nt times foolishly aeslatc ithora , only to bo deserted , rol > cd nnd despoiled by ita protonde rionda. A balance sheet for the p-.st yc ; loa just boon published by the udmii atration of Monte Carlo , from whic t appears that the tables won in tin imo the sum of 12,000,000f. Th ixponsos for the oamo period wci ! ,800,000f , thus leaving a sum < ( ,200,000 or $010,000 , to bo d rided amonij the shareholders. Larr. is this sum is , it is declared by tl : jondon World to bo more child's plo soinpared with the money transa ions of some of the cluba in Ni < md Paris. Turkey haa asked Englnud nn Trance to withdraw tHcir fleets froi Igyptinns waters. The sultan wishi t understood that ho can manog ils household when the family is poaci iblo. When it is unruly ho will coi inuo to call in the neighbors. For the month of April the agraria mtrasoa in Ireland numbered in a 182 , of which a clarification has bee nadoas follows : Murder , 2 ; firing i ho person , 4 ; aggravated assault , ' issault endangering lifo , 1 ; assault'c milifls and process-servers , 1 ; incoi Uory fire , 30 ; burglary and robbori ! ; taking and holding forcible posse lion , 13 ; killin ? , cutting , or maimiti tattle , Hi ; demand or robbery of arm i ; administering unlawful oaths , i ntimidation by threatening lottoi md noticoa , 287 ; othorwiao , 30 ; a1 : acking houses , 2 ; resistance to log : > roc03S , 1 ; injury to property , 2 ! iring into dwelling , 17 ; injury to < attempt to injure or obstruct railwa rains or hiahvv ays , 1 , Of the tot ) 102 outrages , 105 wore committed 1 ilunuter , 1L 2 in Connaught , 110 i Jeinstor , and 20 in Ulster. Tliei core no outrages at all in Monaghn md Down , and only ono each i Armagh , Fermanagh , Londonderry , nd Dublin , The largest number n > orted from any ono county was 4t rhtch wore from Kerry. The English parliamentary retun : if convictions for drunkenness o Sunday present some curious figure ! lidfordahiro , with a population e 00,000 had for ton years ending i 881 only ono resident convicted c ho olTdiiso , while Chcairo , with a poj ilation only four times as largo , hai 18. Bedford is the first county ii ho kingdom in the matter of Sunda ; obriety , Pembroke has the nox lace , and Cambridge the third Ihcshiro , though making so bad > liowing bcaiilo Bedford , is not thi orst county by several. Durham rith about twice the population o hcahiro , had 070 of its own resident ad 145 immigrants convicted , agains 10 118 of Uheihire. Staffordshin had 578 convictions in n population 772,000 , nnd Glamorgan 210 in n o I 352,000. , _ _ _ _ Among the barbarous customs tl British rule has not yet suppressed northwestern India ia that of Samoc or burying people alive. It appci that the thakcor of a certain state sc an officer to a village called Upni collect certain revenues , nnd when arrived the Sidhs refused to pay. , the officer insisted that they mi pay , 150 of them , in order to intin date him , collected before his dc nnd threatened to commit auicido if failed to give wny. Still ho hold 01 and thereupon they selected two their number for the barbarous at rifico a man aged 75 and n worn aged OS nnd on land owned by t thakoor , burricd them both nlh Certain of the villagers tried to pi vent the deed , but were roundly pu ished for their trouble. Since t event occurred , twenty-seven of t Sidhs have been taken into custoc and nineteen have boon sentenced various terms of imprisonment. * HONEY FOB THE LADIE Kuches outrival ruffles or plaitlngs I dress trimmings. Thin crape is revived ns ono of the tni fashionable innterlals in summer mtlllnei The GaimborouRh hat , so long ia pc mar favor , have lost their prestige entii A maiden wants to know how to nvn having n mustache come on her upper 1 Bat onions , daughter. New embroidered lace fichus of bin n t glitter with a dense covering of fino-c jet bugles nnd pendants. Velvet loops and large Alsatian bowa velvet will be much used to trim even am mer bonnets of delicate straw. Ruchings which show pinked out edg ire igaln in fashion , but fringed ruchin ire most delicate and effective. Large Wattcau fam are now painted Qoral designs , matching those Been upi iress fabrics of foulard or sateen. An Indian woman applied for a diver Realise her husband killed a nmd d which was about to bite a good-Jookii ichool-ma'am. Siouxl City has n cariosity in n youi flrl who goes boldly to the barber shops ) & shaved evoiy few days , drinka bee md chews tobacco. Polkn-dottsd neckerchiefs are a rag The square is of mull , in some pale blu ? Ink , cream or yellow tint , and the "dot ire as largo as a 25-ctnt piece. In view of the demand for jeweled ci. ; orsitis thought highly probable th ; Bathing suits will be in demand for eve ng wear. Borne Sentinel. What is more disgusting to the sig ! than a young woman in a state of intoa : ation ? Country Editor. Two of 'em , iourse , Nothing easier ; come again ! A woman who feels tnat she nmit pine ier waist , pad her hips , cramp hett fee ) int her face and wear false hair to secu idmirers will find herself nowhere bcsic i circus street parade. The fact that n Sonth Carolina woms iroke her neck by looking over her nhou ier at another woman's bonnet will be e : smed by the set on the ground that it wi ast year's bonnet trimmed over. A western young man , nged 18 , hi sloped ivith a married woman of thre core jearfl. This rasthetic cr z for m iquities is becoming alto othi > r too gei ml , and threatens to cause trouble. A wcB'ern woman named her girl bit if tor a noted lady , and wrote to her aboi t. The lady sent a thick , heavy-seal * b\elnf ) . "not to be opened until tl > btV till tieth birthday. " It was a ten jlo revenge to take. Philadelphia New The fnUier cf two English girls throa ncd to cut oil thler hair to keep the ; iom gadding- about evom'ngn. They a ] ) led to a ju tice , * hn held that the ather had no right to disfiifiiro his dasgl : en < , and put him under 5 J bonds to kee .ho peace. Unnjo-plajing is daily becoming 11101 wpular nrnpng young society ladies of tt laatern cities. Olaro 1-ralso K-llogg ; ivcn credit for starting the croze. Won t be nice when "our girls" ba\o f mastered the variety stas justness that th y will entertain us wit icrobatic eong and dance , nd soulful ill iec , such a * "Duffy , You're Giving N " Slang , if used at all , must be used wit ; reat caution. Here , for instance , is treat story and n wrong : She decorate ier room with bric-iv-brao nnd picturei md perched her husband's photo on tt topmost nail. Then sat down to ftdmli ier work , and blissfully remarked : "No iverything is lovely , and the gooeo ham ilgh. " "When I married " said , Bogijs tea part if gentlemen who had been bragging the ho successful marriages they had madi 'I got a fine house nnd lot. " "And J rentlemen , " exclaimed Mrs. Bogg ? , entei ng the room just in time to hear her hu land's remark , "I got a flat , the top star if whlchh , s always remained vacant. " Veryjflfag stocki et glorea of pale golc ilack , cream color , ivory white , mauvi lee color , olive , flesh , pale bulf , or tai fill soon replace the musuetaire | clove ( tid , feeing more suitable and comfortabl or warm weather. Some of the ImiuUou iat of these new gloves assigned for evei ng dress have the tops edged with lac md arc delicately embroidered with tin aurel blossoms and pale green rose lea\e , It was a spring night. The fira ha ; one out in the furnace , the thermoineti teed 30 degrees above zero , and the lo\ei rero th * sole occupants of the parlo Presently her motlior oamo to tha head < ho tUirj , and in a volco like the Rcream ( i eteam whistle , cried : "Amandy , con ip into tht ilttlng-rootn immediately ; I'l .frail you'll eaten your d ath of col town there.1' But Amandy answered i i soft lute-like tones : "Don't make a fa if yourself , ma. Charley's keeping me s r rin as toast. " Airs. 8. J. Dalzell , a fashionable youn nilhner of Fort W yn , had trouble wit ier landlord , Benjamin Sanders , and iv l tenant , Oeorgo Uonter , WAS brough o a leniationul inane Saturday. The tw ( sited the apartments of tha milliner am rero greeted with n pot of scalding ho v ter , which deluged them completely landers is badly scalded about the breasi boulders , and ariiip , and In under medic : are , His companion was more fortunate nd eactped with A few scalds. No nriesti An exchange nay * . "Tho young ladle f New Haven , Coun. , are peculiar , to ea he least of it , A dispatch layn that i be .Ii-nnin Cramer cam tha cross exaiiilm Ion of n physician went far beyond th oundary of delicacy. Old ladies left th ourt room. Nine young ladies remainei nd listened with bu\v d heads and 'cheek eddened with fhame. ' 'Young ladies ho attend court and listen to uuch trial on't'redden with shame' to any extent 'hey ha\e usually passed 'the boundary o .elicacy ' " The new onttons uro small , and grea umbers of them are used. Steel m ra&a buttons are for the military lurore ut small , round and nail-head shapes ap tar moD the moro expensive styles o 10 day , Kniuielled iu colors on meta lese are dainty littls ntfairs , Coloro. iats buttoni , with n satiny sheen , conn . pearl ins with opaline tint are a wise purchase , nee they last indefinitely and ro nhvayt indsome. A high novelty in buttons ii i bell-ehapeil In tinted ui UI , with 8in ll flowers painted on the closed month of I bell , PEPPERMINT DROPS , Oxtatla are quoted in the New Yo rrmtket at only a dollar a dozen , and hi It is within two weeks ol fly-tiitio. P baps some Ynnkee ban invented a subi tute. tute."You "You are as full of airn as a innilo bo : Is what n young man said to a girl who i fusf d to let him see hcrhnmo. "That m be , " was the reply , "but I don't go will crank. " A Texas boy shot n rabbit with a till The ball passed through the animal , kill a sheep , struck b stone , nnd glanced ti hunircil yarjls and buried itsslt inauegr leg. leg."Yc "Yc , "iitil the country member , went to that variety chow because I w sure thero'd bo nobody there who km me. Dnrned if pretty much the wh ( legislature wasn't there 1" What is the use ot trying to d cov r the north pole ? If it were foui it would be seircd by some telegraph telephone company and hung witli wii before twenty-four hours. Boston Trat crlpt. There is n certain way of distinguish ! a man from a head-waiter at n swell part notwithstanding both may be dressed t same. The waiter generally has a tenon on his loft arm , and the man generally h a young lady there , if he is agreeable. After the circus Ii over , after the wl beast show Ii done : iMrst son of tolc ! ( peclally ) "That was a bully show. D you see the lion.tauier , hey ? " Second s of toil "Didn't I ? I tell yon , it tak him to boss a lion. Why , he just knock that old lioness about aa If she had be his wife. " Mrs. ICwinr , n Chicago lecturer i cookery , says that a chicken requires o : hour of stewing for every year ct ita HI At last the secret has been dlscorered wl a boarding house chicken , which Is to ' served nt sis o'clock in the evening is nt ally put on the fire very curlv in the mot ing. Now York Herald. A man livinp near Burlington , Vt. , i ccntly got divorced from his wife , who ho now employs as hired girl , but he cat see what he gains by the operation. SI demands $3 a week , the washing sent on three nights and an afternoon elf , betid the privilege of having company in tl kitchen , and now threatens to Icavo if 1 does not Introduce into the bouso nil tl modern improvements. Philadelph News. A German , travel ing onthe Fort Wnyi road , kimly volunteered to find some ii " < ium blace on der drain" tor a party jovial , wine drinking commercial tourist When they wanted more the nccommoda Ing Teuton went to find it nnd return * with the sad announcement : ' Der pa ? age-meistcr let me hat no more. 11 lays rnein bruder in-law'a body von't kee ; ill \egcd to Phllidelha uf 1 dake an uore Ice von der coflin. " "Well , some men ara lucky ! " exclaimc t Norristown man , upon reading that icrsou in New York had been awarde 15,000 damages for the loss of a leg in railroad accident. "Hero I've been trai : ling on the railroad for sixteen years , an : iven the company nearly one thousan iollare , and yet I haven't been fortunat moutfh to sustain as much as a broke lose I Another man in my place woul lave had hit neck broken and recovere 30,000 dunngep. " Norristown Herald. "I'm sharing myself most of the tin low , " said the young man , proudly , aa h 11 justed his head to the back of the chaii The barker gazed thoughtfully at the gas n the left cheek , noted the irreguU Vlaltese cross in the chin , obutrved th inely executed outline map of the He ! 3ato excavations on the left side , hovere > ver the piece of ear that was held ia plac vith court-plaster , nnd pityingly scanne he prizn collection of pimplesandblotche vhlch ornamented the nock. "Yes , lotice you are , " he said , musingly , as h oftly strapped his raror. Itocklan Jourier-Gazetto. And now the soft , sweet , balmy da ; : pmo floating along , showering rcsoe in th ields and rankingthe , birds sing on th mduin ? boughs of the orchards. Th > rp > ks nro beginning topurl , aud tbo Ring Iriver ia laying aside his army overcoa ind getting his straw hat in condition I'he farmer is raising lettuce , and th lotel man is raising his rate' . The wood nan is cutting down the maple , the ol ady is cutting down the paternal overcon o make the boy's troupers , and the yellov log is cutting down tha street v Ith a k t le. CONNDBIALiriE3. After marrigge the question as to wh hall be iptaker of the houo is spoedil ettlcd. A young man of Seneca , ICan. , elopct dth the girl bis brother was to have mar ied next day. A list of the presents to the Duke o Ubany nnd his bride nils two columns o he Londtn I'oat. Georgia claimi a genuine Bluebeard in i a an one hundred years old , who has hai even wives and has killed them all. J1 onthern paper calmly adds that "he ba tot yet been apprehended , but the officer TO tracking him through the mountains.1 Mies Uattie Hurd , General Bntler' lieoi , and Washington's most popula lelle , whoso banuty lias given herolmoit : tational reputation , will Boon marry Mr j&nler Dunn , the son cf Assistant Judg Advocate Dunn , of the war department. The rumor is abroad that the Princes Sentries is to be married to the eldest too I the landgrave f Hesse. Tha Princes i the sole remaining unmanied child o ier majesty of linsland. ami as parliamen otes the usual dowry it will heave & sig ] f relief. A royal family is essential to i icreditary monarchy , but it Is a costly lux try. If Prince Albert had lived , the royn xehenner wonlil have beenbankrupted , o : he allowance to the youngsters woiili i&vo been decreased. Wagntr , the German componer. passet he winter in Palermo , Italy. While then no of his daughters , Blandina , was bo rotbed to a you DC Sicilian noble. A itilan newspaper says : "Wagner wiihtc ill daughter to embrace the Itoman Cth lie faith , havin/r / himselt t once recog ilzed the necessity under the circum tances. Before the nQlanced departai Vngner made them kneel before him , it he car h had encaged for bis family , am ddrwsed them in very tender and affec ionate terini , and gave them hit father ! } dvice and bleuiog. which calltd out tean iom all present. With his hands resting n their neadi. he instructed both on thdii lutlcs and obligations toward each othei a n solemn and almost inspired tone. In bis addre , which has demonstrated how Vaguer throws his whole heart into every king he doer , the maehtro had touched the unst chgrds of the human heart , and nded by invoking upon the couple whc uelt before him the Ijord'a blessing. " Nearly a Miraolo- F. A Dith Hall , Blngharaton , N. Y. , rites : I snffered foreeveral months witli diill jmin through the left lung nnd [ lOiudcN. I lost my Rplrits' , flpputite and Dior , unit could with dllliculty keep up al ! ay. My mother procured some BuntocV Hood Bitters : I took them ns directed , ud have felt no pain since first week tier using them , and aui now quite well , ' 'rice ' § 1. rn23dlw Too New Regent , chuyler Sun. It ia said that C. II. Gore , an cm- loye of the I ) , & H , railroad , will jcoive the appointment of regent to II the vacancy caused by resignation f Carson. Ucnf lui a , Muto. MM. W. J. Lang , Bfthany , Ont. , Ktatea .at . for fifteen months she was troubled Ith a disease in the car , causing entire lafness. In ten minutes nfter using IIOUAH' KCLECTUIO OIL &be'found relief , id in a short time she waa entirely cured id her hearing restored. THE McCALLUI WAGON BOX RACKS. WEIGHT ONLY 100 IBS , WAGON ] ' BOXV Can Be Handled By a Boy. The box need never bo taken off the wagon nnd alltliethclloJ Grain and Grass Seed Is Saved 1 H coslslcss tlnn the old tt\o ! neks. Krery standard wagon Is told with our nek confylotc. BUY NONE WITHOUT IT. Or buy the attachments ncd applr them Io ) our old agon box. For lo in Ncbhwknby J. 0. CI.AKK , Lincoln. MANNISH & ilitiK , Omaha. FHJD Prajit , Grand Island. IlAoourrr & OniKt , llMt'mcrs. UIIARLIH Hcur OIIEER , Co'umbus. Er NoatB& Fl SK , Red C.oud , C. II. CIUSK A Co. , Ilcd Oak , bwa. I * W. ItnBSFt.-.OIcnwoO' ' , low * And < ncry llrstclais dealer In the wcnl. A k them for Jcscrlpthc circular or eend direct to us. I , McOallum Bros. Manuf'g Oo. , Offlcc , 24 West Laic Street , Chicago. may23 Iw OETJEKES MURRAY IRON WORKS GO. Burlington Iowa. SEMI Portable Engines , t.it , ' FOR CREAMERIES , FARM PRIVATE OFFICES , Etc. , A SPECIALTY. ? ho Largest Iron Making Establish ment in the State. MANUFACTURERS OF 3TEAM ENGINES , AND GENERAL MACHINES. 'heHoword Automatic Cut-Off Steam Engine. Sand far Circulars. mZS-lin The Man who Told the Doctor that "ho felt i it no didn't want to cioanj thin ? , " wua accused f lazlnces Yet thousands experience this feel- ig especial ! } In summer In consequence of a Bordered condition o' the ttomacb , which a few jfrcihlnpdrau hts ol TARRANT'S SKLTZKR Al KB- AT w ould bo turn to remedy. SOLD BY ALL DhUGOBTS. TIU ; riiT AXD 'MCS.V ABSOLUTELY SAFE" Oil670VK IN THU WOULD. ilvcry iiimtyhcrjxr fi els the want of lU't.miK that Vfill ( wil ; tliu daily food ,1-i avoitl tha exm-mc Lent , dupt litter id afiiw of n roiil or.ood Ftovc. She LCtltcr C.H EtCVO Till do it , better , liekor anil clicutier than by any other eans. J t ia the only Oil StOVO made ith the oil rosorvou ? olovatoi at the ick of the stove , away from the heat ; by Inch arrangement HDSOlutO Bafoty is cured ; as no gas can be generated , fully ) per cent more heat Is obtained , the ioks arc preserved twice as long , thus iving the trouble of constant trimming nd the expense of new ones. Esamlno 10 Monitor nnd you will buy no other , Mnmifactured only by the onltor Oil Stove Co. , Cleveland , 0. Send for dcwjrintivo circular or call i M. Rogers < t Son , solo agents for obraaka. _ tHOEHDALL MING MACHINE ! DEE8S-MAKERS1 COMPANION , It plaits from 1-10 of a n Inch to dth in the coaratet felt ) or finest si ks It does all kinds and styles of I lulling In DM. No lady that docs her own dreus making cu > ord to do without one as nice plaltmc 1 * vcr out ol fashion , If teen It fccIU itself. For icblneo , Circulars or Agent's terms address CONG All & CO. , 11 ° AfUmN HLChleam _ _ _ IIM STABI.Sk , KSOMI1 BOUWP. President. vice Pres't. W. ti. DUSIUR , 8ec. andTreaa , TEE NEBRASKA fflUFACTUEIM GO Lincoln , Web , ILANUFACTUREUS OP n rrow , p rm Rolleri , Ml Bueke > tlovntlng Wind ( ft are prcpred to do Job work and nuaut ' ' ] tloc for otter partlci. Iddroa all orders NEBRASKA UANUFAOTUltJUO CO. , _ _ _ Uohn Q. Jacobs , ( Foimejly ol Qlsbfe Jacobs , ) JNDERTAKERI