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About Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 15, 1889)
UNIVERSITY OF NEBRASKA.
LINCOLN, NEBRASKA, NOVEMBER 15 1889.
'92 IS DEAD.
THE SOUP AGAIN SURROUNDS THEM
AND THEY CEASE TO BREATHE.
Excessive Waste of Brain .Power the Cause of
The Funeral will be Preached in the Police
Court Monday Morning.
'93 AGAIN SUCCESSFUL.
An invitation having been received from the Or
pheliun Literary Society at the Wesleyan Univer
sity, tho class of '93 decided to accept. The night
of Nov. 15th was decided upon for tho visit. It
soon became noised abroad and at all times of tho
day squads of festive Sophs and Preps were laying
diabolical schemes designed to frustrate the contem
plated trip. The class of '93 was so very frank to
to that aggregation of " brains," known as tho class
of '92, that they made them acquainted in detail with
all their arrangements.
Not only did the Freshmen have to contend with
tho opposing classes of tho State University but also
with tho rival societies of tho Orphelians at tho Wes
loyan. As tho unmixed and mixed societies are at
swords point at that place, tho unmixed societies did
all in their powor to prevont tho Orphelians from
entertaining tho class of '93. They oven chartered
all tho cars at that end of tho line ; but '93 was equal
to tho occasion and a car was obtained from another
lino. This scheme having failed thoy next sent a
tolophono message to tho effect that there would bo
no program at tho Orpholian that night. Of course
tho Freshman readily understood that this was but
anothor freak of tho superior intellect of thoir adver
saries. Tho rido of about 40 Freshmen was without any
incident of oxoitomont. Tho Univorsity yell was
freely indulged in, but not an onomy was in sight.
After a program exhibiting much litorary and
musical talent, '93 proceeded to find thoir car for tho
return trip. Hero at loasfwas tho result of a week's
severe mental labor on tho part of '92 and '94. Tho
would bo " bad men " had taken an evening walk
of four miles, carrying several coils of ropo with
them for the purpose of tying straggling Freshmen
and street cars. Havinc reached tho cars and notic
ing that thoy were entirely unprotected save by tho
driver they began to disable the cars, but had not pro
ceeded far before they found- that a stool in tho hands
of the driver was more than a match for " Sophmo
rian brains." Having failed at this point, their
next brilliantly conceived campaign was to throw-up-
embankments across the track at intervals. Thoy
further proceeded to entrench themselves and lie in
wait for '93 at Dead Man's Run. When the car ap
peared at this obstruction it was stopped, and '93
with tho assistance of the marshal of University
Place succeeded in capturing two of tho would-bo
wreckers, one of whom was retained for '93's enter
tainment. After ho had been thoroughly tortured
he bought his release by giving the names of his as
sociate villians to the marshal ; and tho last heard of
him was tho patter of his feet as thoy hit the sido
walk. The marshal now having the names of the conspi
rators, announced that they would bo compelled to
make reparation for all damage done to property.
In consequence of this '93 will have tho extreme
pleasure of witnessing the appearance of '92 in tho
police court, where they will certainly need all of
their " superior intellect " and surplus change.
Tho ono redeeming feature of the class of '92 is
the vacuum which holds its head above the tureen.
Class of '93.
ONLY $1.00 FOIt THE YEAR.
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