THE HESPERIAN '.
whist, draw poker, and oyster stews, i. e. half stews. Some,
attention of course is given to study, but merely as a relax
ation. As there arc no medical recitations, but lectures, this
system of study is possible and entails no' serious conse
quences, except at examinations; but "sufficient unto the
day, etc."
I have just heard that a burlesque comic opera is to be
given by the students sometime in May. As it is to be a
purely representative performance, the female characters will
be taken by the youngest and most innocent looking among
us. There is some difficulty in securing persons tor these
parts, because the fellows refuse to shave; I'm sure I don't
know why, as there ain't enough mustaches in the college
to stuff a tennis ball with. However, we hope lor the best.
We will undoubtedly have a comic opera with the accent on
the comic. The opera will be produced in one of the large
theatres, and the price will be raised on account of the
special attraction. Students are of course expected to
"scratch the slate." (the phrase "scratch the slate" isn't
known here. I use it because it is familiar and terse, while
very intelligible to your readers.)
In this opera there will be a full chorus, elaborate scenery,
novel costumes, and fascinating beauties. The university
orchestra will furnish the music. I may have something to
say of the production after it comes oft. At present it is a
little previous to venture an opinion.
I intended to say something about the chapel singing,
which is unique in its way, but this letter is already loo long,
so I will defer it to another time. J. K. M.
BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF THE HOARD OF
EDITORS.
Ths editor-in-chief of this paper is a hobo engineer. He
held down a job on the 15. & M. for several years on the under
standing that he was taking the engineering course. When
it was discovered that he was taking the literary course and.
intended to be a lawyer instead of an engineer he got fired,
of course. He will ba married in the spring.
Miss Manlcy and Mr. Drown, in charge of the literary
department of the paper, are the only gentlemen on the
board. They are also the only ladies on board. For their
labors the authors has nothing but commendation. Mr. Drown
especially, allowed himself to be inveigled into writing a half
column more than his share.
The writer of comments is a democrat. That's all that
is necessary to say abont him.
As to the local rustlers, one of them is a pretty good sized
man; consequently we haint got nothing to say. However
he writes a various hand with a soft lead pencil and wears
his hair cut smiling. The other 1. r. was built for a ladies'
man instead of an editor. We havent seen a line of copy
written by him since his election. To be sure we havent
looked for any, but he ought to bring it around and show it
tO US. i)
Mr. Holmes is rather too meek a man for the exchange
column. Mr. Holmes is also business manuger, and every
body knows that business manager means shark. Probably
that makes up for his meekness.
The sum of the editors is seven; the sum of their ages is
152; the sum of their weights is 930; the sum of their heights
is forty feet ten inches; the sum of Jtheir beards is one third
of a mustache.
In conclusion, if the board don't like this biographical
sketch they had better get another boy.
STRAY PICK-UPS.
Mnlcs is a hoo-doo.
Stockton went down to Waverly to see
"Fifer is having a picnic measuring track for the D. & M.
Miss Manlcy called around once or twice during the
recess.
Drown, if he loafed, did not do much of it around the
sanctum.
Did you go home on a pass or did you stay at home dur
ing the recess?
They say that Hunt and Dennett swear ofl smoking ciga
rettes April 1st.
Dales is disgusted with lobbying and will quit the job
about April 1st.
Kid Nick has just recovered from the mumps. He says
he is a man now.
Paul Clark, '87, is a sixth ward candidate for member of
the school board.
Mr. Oliver will work for the D. & M. instead of attending
school next term.
After Dr. F. threatened to fire Reese bodily he has been
named "The Little Deowulf."
C. E. Tingley has so degenerated that whenever he
attempts a pun the bell rings.
They say Reese will sign the pledge and quit going with
the girls some girls April 1st.
It is currently reported that the U. G. A. A. has com
menced a crusade against the bustle.
The lawn tennis club opened the season with a few prac
tice games upon the campus last week.
A number of the boys missed their trains and for that
reason did not go home until Saturday.
Mr. Wiley, of Omaha, is a student this term. He is a
special and will take up electrical work.
It is believed that three seniors will be married before
June. Expectation is on tiptoe, so to speak.
McDonald and Holmes went home as soon as they could
get away, leaving their copy on the hooks.
Chancellor Dessey and several of faculty went to Hastings
this week to attend the state teachers' meeting.
Ham Eddy, '85, aspires to be a councilman. We are sorry
to say he will not get the nomination this year.
Haft's mother visited him last week. Haft spent three
days straightening his- room up for the occasion.
The students arc coming back today to read The Hes
I'KKIAN. The editois an: all out cf town today for various
reasons.
Almy caught the stray local for a while but Tuesday
afternoon the temptation became too great and he'pulled out
to see his ma(?).
Marble came around occasionally and commented upon
free trade, the legislature and the merits of th ' men who
compose our faculty. ''
With the opening of the spring term several athletic clubs
are expected to get to work. The first to make its appear
ance is a walking club.
At a recent meeting of the oratorical association it was
decided to send two speaker to the state contest. The local
contest occurs in the chapel Monday April 1st. It is to be
hoped that everybody and his best girl will be there.
m
