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About Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 1, 1889)
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Looking at this question in the light of a Tanner the qucs- j
Hon has a ditlerent phazc. lo tax land values alone would
discourage the extension ol agricultural pursuits for the time
being and hence raise the price of food to the laborers in the :
cities. The burden of taxation would fall upon the farmer
and decrease the price of his land to nearly rent value, so
that his only means of money making would be by constant
toil. Rut if his labor or the result of his labor would bring
more in the market it would matter little to him whether his
land was high and prices low or prices low and land high.
Such a state of affairs would scarcely be possible, however,
for the same number of people would still exist to be fed
while at the same time the trade marts are overflowing with
laborers, thus preventing any great number of the farming
class from deserting their farms because there would be no
other available employment for them to pursue.
It would have the cflcct though of breaking up the large
land holdings of non-residents, and more generally distrib
uting the wealth of the country. In short, the sum of the
wealth would c neither increased or decreased, but some
would necessarily have to lose while others would gain. The
rich would be the losers the poor the gainers. A more equit
able distribution of property among all classes would result
and the fast growing caste system of our land would be blot
ted out forever.
Some of the students may allow their angry passions to
arise when this issue appears. All right, go ahead and rave.
This is the last issue and the new board will soon appear.
Therefore, in order to initiate the new board of editors, it is
necessary that they reap some of the wrath which is always
ready for the present board. The old editors are safe. Your
subscriptions are paid. Your wrath is mighty but powerless.
It may be an unfair advantage that we take, still you must
watch out for our successors.
The crowd of hoodlums and bums that hang around The
Hesperian office and yell "pie" will certainly have reserved
seats in the hottest corner of the unmentionable region.
A separate fireman for each one should see that the scientifics
are kept from freezing.
Whenever it is said that a woman cannot keep a secret,
please remember that it is- equally true of the other sex.
For instance, two of the most handsome Juniors in the
class had an experience the other evening which should have
been kept dark. However, the two students forgot to make
a "tie-up" and the gag leaked out.
The students made a call. They began to play one of
those inuocent games in which a single heart is better than
ten under certain conditions. Time passed on, but the stud
ents kept the clock company. Finally, sometime between
sunset aud sunrise, a voice from the hall was heard' "Young
gentlemen, if you will stay a little longer you may eat griddle
cakes with the girls."
It is sad to think that any student would tell this on him
self, but it is true nevertheless. At least Hcffelman and
Graham de.lare that they can name the studenU as quick as
ye skctcher can say "Jack Robinson."
Some of the students seem to partake of the nature of
small demons. One of our students has a custom of hanging
his hat'in The Hesperian office. The student is one of the
hurrying kind. He never has time to go slow. Such a prac
tice enables the other students to play tricks upon him. And
The other morning the student hung his hat in the usual
place and went to his recitations. When he started home at
noon he was in deep meditation. He put on his hat mechan
ically. It was a rather windy day, so he pulled his hat on
tight. In about five minutes he met a young lady acquaint
ance. Off went the student's hat. Ah! no, it didn't come
off. It remained ou his head. The student made a spec
tacle of himself before his friend. Before he pulled his hat
off he pulled out half of his hair and shed many tears. Some
demon of a .student had nicely coated the inside ol the stu
dent's hat with mucilage. It was an outrageous, miserable,
wretched, contemptible, villainous trick, but it was suc
cessful. Many, many years ago, there dwelt in the province of
Narkaska a kindly and well beloved mother with her large
family of boys. Now the mother was wise as well as gener
ous, and so she did not forget that her boys would not long
remain childien, but would soon be men; and she earnestly
wished them to live prosperous and happy lives. And she
was mindful of the great help that could be given by training
the young to the implements and ways that are of most use in
later lire. And so she bethought herself to provide playthings
like unto those implements, and also to bring together the
skilled of many provinces to tell how to use them. And she
provided toy weapons of attack and defence; and there were
likewise toy temples, and castles, and ships; for it is well for
boys to know how to enjoy peace, as well 2s ho.v to do great
deeds in war. And it seemed good that some one should care
for the store-house where all the toys were kept, and should
aid in choosing for each boy the toys that he most needed,
and should see that the toys that pleased him most were
given him. And to this work a gentle woman was assigned.
Now this plan was wondrous pleasing to the boys; and
all together they ran lo the store-house. And one cried "1
wish a bow and arrows;" and another wished a spear; and
another, a javelin; and another, a sword; and there u ere
also some that chose to build temples and great houses from
the blocks that had been given them. Hut to the first, the
gentle-woman gave the bow only; to the second an arrow
instead of a spear; lo the third she said "The javelin might
be lost or broken, and so you sha'n't have it;" the fourth
was told that there was no such thing as a Mvord, and he
ought to know better than to ask for it. And there was one
boy that wished a toy ship to sail on the little lake near by;
and the toy wa5 given him, and he was happy. But before
he could reach the lake, a messenger came unto him and
said, "Take that ship back instantly, for thy brother has
asked for it;" and so the ship was taken back.
Now after a time it came to pass that the skilled men
wished to make trial of the boys lo see what they had learned.
And the boys were asked to throw the javelin, and to shoot
with the bow and arrow, and to build a castle and to sail a
ship. And not one of them could do these things. And at
this the men were greatly amazed and not a little wroth.
And they wondered greatly at the cause thereof, and to this
day they wonder still.
The last issue should contain some good advice. At least
this department should ofler some suggestions before it dies.
It would be better if in chapel Fletcher broke fewer seats; if
Forsyth would sing louder and Church say "amen" less
audibly. Peace and harmony will be increased if Bush