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THE HESPERIAN.
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STRAY PICK-UPS.
A lawn mower the cow.
To the scicntifics greeting: Pie.
A campaign cut G rover Cleveland.
Hay, Hall, do you know how to lay dice.?
Almy got nearly "stuck" on a peck of apples.
. The height of imagination a young moustache.
Where was Langworthy when the light went out?
Baron von Huckleberry de Stoughton of the farm.
Ned reigns and the Weslcyan University still exists.
Water, water, every wheic but never a drop at hand.
The cannon shed was ornamented. Aye, ornamented.
Miller has been figuring extensively as a prima donna.
"Were you out last night?" "No, I was in taken in."
Edward enjoyed a grand elevatory experience Hal
low e'en.
They think Fogarty is running yet, and not because of a
calf cither.
There is a divinity that shapes our pocket books work it
how vc will.
Ask Gcriwig why the gas was turned out on the Philos
during recess.
The chapel choir is worthy of commendation. "Long
may they fag."
Mr. Tate has been seen around on crutches the result of
a sprained ankle.
Remember thou the pic in the days of thy youth when the
Lits. and Classics come.
Hurras has often heretofore been remarked, with refer
ence to such timss as Hallow e'en rah.
Choice fruits, confectionery and lunch all the year round
at Chevront & Co's, Eleventh street near O.
W. W. Carder has opened out a new European Hotel on
1'. street, between 9th and ioth. Call on him.
The library of the Weslcyan Univeisity has been given a
good start with a donation of two thousand books.
Girls, if you want a cloak or a nice wrap, you will find
one to suit you at Mrs. W. E. Gosper's, III4O street.
A young gentleman was heard to remark at the theatre
the other evening, "Hasn't the Lily u vulturous bosom."
The battalion this year is composed of four companies
and numbers fully 100 inenf exclusive of band and officers.
Our choice for '88: CLEVELAND and THURMAN.
W. N. Fletcher.
A great number of the new co-eds seem to think that it is
necessary to get at least eight introductions before speaking.
The amount of gum plastered on the bottom of the
Union chairs is an eloquent dissertation on Union jaw work.
The usual chestnuts were perpetuated. It we could not
tear the roof ofi" a building or burn a hay stack we would
quit.
A cyclone struck t',e office and from the audible and
visible signs on Saturday we would think a cyclone struck the
Pall. hall.
Several of the students in the botanical and chemical
departments are hard at woik on theses. Many have inter
esting subjects, and the work done will undoubtedly be of
value to the state. .
This office received a call last week from an old acquaint
ance, L. D. Bailor. Mr. Bailor is now an M. D. at Geneva,
Nebraska.
Our advice to Will Owen Jones would be never to flip
pennies with a scientific. He was made nearly insolvent the
other day.
A class in field fortifications has been formed and con
sists of but three students. All wishing to join should re
port at once.
C. S. Polk made us a flying visit last week. He came
supported on a cane, for which he can, if he feels that way,
thank rheumatism.
If a student and a half can get away with a town and a
half in a minute and a half, how many towns can the entire
University get away with?
C. A. Beach, of Weeping Wajer, was seen in the halls last
week. He will not be in school again as he intends to go
cast. His friends were glad to see him.
C. F. Meth was seen in the halls a few days since. He
returned immediately to his home in Grand Island, however,
but expects to return to school January 1.
A committee of the faculty has been at work revising the
courses of study with a view to a better adjustment of hours.
We hope their work will be successful and good.
The stone arch in the front of Nebraska hall is a work of
art. Still in our humble mind we think a key stone would
have improved it and made it look less like .1 culvert.
"Good evening, Miss ," I am very happy to
meet you. Are you a brother of Mr. O I beg
pavdon, I mean is Mr. your sister?" O. IV. Fifer,
If a copper cops a student,
Painting red the sky,
And the copper pulls the student,
Need that student cry?
What's the matter with Professor Howard? He's al
right. What's the matter with John Green? He's all right.
What's the matter with the University girls? They're all
right.
Come down into The Hesperian office and sec the
picture of the P. G. D. C stolen by Tom Hall and recovered.
Duplicates can be had of the owner. All negatives pre
served. Our exchanges arc full of notices of severe punishments
for absences from chapel. O, ye gods, if that scheme should
be introduced here what a wild, wierd, waiting world we
would be!
The number of the chlorophyllophyciar"ciae this year is
very great. For the benefit of the lits and non-scientifs we
will say that we mean those wh6 make futile attempts to
raise moustaches.
The university chapel has been turned over to the State
Agricultural society for use in their annual meeting. The
Horticultural society will hold their annual meeting in the
botanical laboratory.
The Union boys will have a grand political wind up o.
the campaign on the Saturday preceeding the election.
The idea is good and we hope it will in truth be a wind-up
Even politics can be carried to excess.
Professor Hicks has been receiving a new collection of
minerals, many of which are from England. They are nearly
all of exquisite beauty and the collection offluorites affords a
display of colors and crystals which must be seen to 'be appreciated.