T
THE HESPERIAN.
3
advantage of forty to nboul fifteen. Wliilc it is true that
cane rushes arc essentially class affairs, it is nevertheless true
that it would be policy for the Freshmen to give some con
cessions as to number, for if they should lie successful it
would be a standing slur on them that they had a great ad
vantage. As yet the Freshmen have developed nothing but
wind and thoy seem to fear a well merited and deserved
castigation.
The chemical department is over crowded. Already
several of the beginners have been placed in the quantitative
laboratory which makes it unpleasant not only (or both
parlies but also for the professors in charge, who find it
impossible to instruct the students thus scattered. It will
indeed be convenient when the Nebraska Hall is finished so
that the botanical department can move and give up the
much needed first floor.
Prof. II. "Never assign, possession to anything that
can't possess. Don't say 'the house's rooP. The houses
can't possess the roof. The man that owns the house pos
sesses it."
M. F. ''Professor, would 'the horse's tail' lis correct?"
Prof. II. "Certainly."
Mr. I "Why, 1 should think the man that owned the
horse owned the tail." .
The Senior plugs met at Mr. Baughman's with the full
pomp, pride and circumstance of war. Hither fear or po
litic peace seemed to make them friends with humanity and
Sophs, and second picps. munching cake and taffy, paced the
picket line and guarded them. The boys seemed too ener
vated to bring their own girls and their president had to
obtain a second prep, for her escort. Dear '89CIS, listen
to us when we say that if we could not have a class meeting
without getting Sophomores to guard we it would suspend
business. It makes us sick.
"How arc you getting along with the experimental farm?"
asked a member of the board of regents of a western agricul
tural college of the president of the institution. "First-iatc,"
replied the president, "wheat all hilled up and
calves taught to drink sour milk. I'm having trouble
with some of the students, however. They claim that it is
too hard work for them to dig the great holes necessary in
planting pumpkins." "Fire 'cm out, professor, fire 'cm out!"
returned the regent. "If they kick on that, what will they
do next fall when they have to dig the pumpkins, with
fifteen or twenty to a hill!"
Hats and caps at Ed. Ccrf & Go's.
Cadet suits, gloves and caps at Ewing's.
Manley has the cream of the candy trade.
Go to Ed. Ccrl & Co. for furnishing goods.
Clothing for every body at Ed. Cerf & Co'c.
Chicago shoe store, 120 south Twelfth street.
The latest styles in hats at F.d. Cerf & Co's.
Special prices to students at T. Ewing & Co's.
Webster & Briscoe, boots and shoes, 1023 O St.
Honest goods, square dealing, Chicago shoe store.
Students will receive best of attention at Manlcy's,
Get your shirts made at Capital City Shirt Factory.
Carder's European Hotel for line lunches or meals.
Go to Carder's for breakfast, when you get up late.
Ten per cent off to students at Webster & Briscoe's.
Goto Mrs. V. E. Gosper's, 1114 O St., forMUliiiery.
THE LABORATOU1AD.
The scicntifics sat in solemn state,
With knotty problems each in lone debate.
In the physic lab the impressive scene is laid,
Where the scicntifics work till evening shade.
The god of this department, Doctor Brace,
All this time was ansent fiom his place.
To the other building he had bent his steps,
To oversee the seniors and the props.
Now Walters, lifting up his voice on high
Proceeded thus the others to defy:
"Know all ye students who round here do stand
I with the best and bravest will contend."
"Toss up your nickels and let them fall back.
He wins whose coin falls nearest to a crack;
Hut, be it known to every man alive,
'Tis not for hate but mocny that we strive."
He then threw up his coin with dext'rous fling.
It fell again to earth with deafening ring.
Alighting near a crack it rolled no more,
But lay with profound stillness on the floor,
Then Peterson stepped forth unto the fray,
Well armed with coins from many a hard fought day.
From F streets boundless shore he proudly came.
Near where they deal out water but in name.
His shining robes Charles Damrow deftly wrought.
At Schwab's emporium Walters' clothes were bought.
He pressing through the crowd the silence broke,
And to his wasting foe thus sternly spoke:
"With you I enter in the battles tods.
The victor's be the glory and to him the spoils.
If now you would sec fortunes favors tried,
Prepare yourself and let the fates decide."
He hurled his nickel up 'mid silence hushed;
It turned again and toward the earth it rushed.
It struck on edge and rolled along the floor,
Heating Walters' by an inch or more.
Unto the roof they once again are thrown;
Anp gravitation once mure brought them down.
Upon the floor with ringing blows they struck;
And on this time bold Walters had the luck.
Prof. Nicholson from high Olympus came.
Of all most honored unci most known to fame.
Surveyed the battle scene with flashing eye;
And to the trembling crowd he thus let fly:
"What means this crowd which is assembled here?
Whst means this seance which assaults my car?
In sports like these no students should engage.
To sec it done excites my utmost rage ."
"Not thus the chane'ler did arouse my ire,
When once he threatened Dr, Brace to lire."
He spoke and to Olympus made ascent.
The crowd in silence to their places went.
Visit the Chicago shoe store.
Call on Edddd Cuf & Cooo.
Bargains at ;o shoe store.
Go to Ewing's lor fall overcoats.
Fine footwear at moderate prices, Chicago shoe house.
Manley keeps n full line of confectionery goods, give him
a call.
All the delicacies of the season at Carder's new European
Hotel.
Capital City Shirt Factory gives a big reduction to stu
dents in underwear.
Largest line of boots, shoes and rubbers in the city at
Webster & Briscoe's.
Buy the celebrated, double-backed 50c. shirts at the Cap
ital City Shirt Factory
If you want to get solid with your girl take her some of
Mauley's taffy. Yum! Yum!
In New York go to Delmonico's, but in Lincoln go 10
Chewont & Cc's for oysters in every style. Always ready 'oT
serve you.
il
I9B'
