8
THE HESPERIAN
EXCHANGE BRIC-A-BRAC.
A very verdant college editor proposes the question:
"After Commencement, What?" Well, dear innocent, it
will probably be a few years spent with your papa learning a
trade.
One of our flock has referred to the high and noble mission
of the exchange editor. What a mockery! The lie it suc
ceeded in fabricating has been equalled this scacon only by
the biography of the cow whose favorite pastime is eating
cats.
If there is anything in the theory which Mr. Haggard
expounds in his talc of the beautiful old woman, perhaps the
nrticles some of our exchanoes are nrintincr conccrnine the
Emperor William or Roscoe Conkling may be in season for
the second demise of those gentlemen.
The Rockford Seminary Magazine is another exchange
edited by the ladies. If we were built like the ex-editor of
of the Rambler we should say that the collection of
"Dreams," spring bonnet talk and gush, called by courtesy
a college paper, is something for a first class institu
tion to be proud of. This is not true. We have always said
that the girls were doing fairly good work, considering the
fact that they are girls, but the Seminary Magazine really
needs to be braced up a little in several departments to stand
upon a level with our best exchanges.
Taking her cue lrom a much smarter exchange editor, the
co-ed who contributes three line items about other college
papcts lor the Doane Owl, proceeds to make fun of TllK
Hesperian. She argues that she can tell by looking at the
covers of the journals which are made to undergo a monthly
suffering at her hands, just what there is in them, and that
consequently the contents of The Hesperian arc very fan
tastic indeed. Perhaps there is much in this pleasant little
theory which has been set forth for the first time by a Ne
braska girl; certainly such a line of reasoning applied to the
Owl produces excellent results. Investigation with a micro
scope has failed to reveal anything whatever on the Ozvl's
cover.
We have before now had occasion to make mention of the
way in which the exchange man of the College Chips oc
casionally butchers up the English language. lie has lately
made himself appear quite rediculcus by the following
rather surprising statement: "We would like to inform the
public that the general impression of the ex. cd., namely:
that he is a 'raging lion that gocth around seeking whom
he may devour,' is a small mistake." The gentleman was
evidently laboring under the greatest of mistakes when he
supposed that anybody held that opinion of him. The idea
of small game like the Chip! man wanting to devour some
body is the very quintessence of the comical. To us his
attempts at pugnacity have always seemed to resemble those
characteristic of a little sand lizard whose family may be
found in vast numbers upon the desert plains of the far west.
The Monmouth Collegian has again directed its pepper box
upon us. Some two months ago the asinine exchange editor
of that sheet undertook to have a little fun at the expense of
The Hesperian's cover. We then passed it by with scarce
a notice, supposing that with the progress of time the simple
ton would grow wiser and repent of the childish prank. Hut
again he comes forth with with the same uncalled for gag.
Now, if he has anything to say about this paper, let him
come out like a man and say it. We are always glad to be
criticised, for we don't pretend to be beyond learning an
occasional thing even from a sheet of no greater calibre
than the Collegian. But when one, for want of anything
within the pages of this paper to criticise continues to ring
the changes on our cover which other brainless fault finders
have hammered away at for the last three years, we must, in
the name of the simple common sense, protest. The Colleg
ian itself has no cover. Possiby envy is the cause of its
malicious attack. But if the Collegian lacked nothing more
than a cover of such design as would suit its cranky exchange
editor we would have remained silent even after this second
attack. As it is, we must requestthc kicker to hold his place
or give some valid reason for kicking.
The s7gis, bearing date May II, announces the fact that a
new editorial board takes possession immediately. Truly,
the stigis sutlcrcu lor a change, week atter week nave we
reviewed the contents of that paper, invariably throwing it
aside with a feeling, not of disgust for the sEgis was not
silly or foolish but one of great pity. It almost reminded
us of a fashion plate it appeared to be laced so tightly.
Now let the new board put some life in the dry bones of the
sheet, display a little enterprise, and get out a paper that
will do at least partial credit to its two or three dozen editors.
A most pressing need is apparent in the fact that the publi
cation is weekly. As managed by the old board, once a year
would have been often enough for it to appear; but in our
judgment no sensible college paper will be issued more than
once a month.
The Butler Collegian remarks, in the graceful language
for which it is becoming quite notorious, that "Verily the
world do move." Yes, it do move, dear Collegian, and your
editorial board had better hump along with its little reccp
tacle of slush and chestnuts or it will soon be left out of sight.
The Collegian has before now taken occasion to remark upon
me ubu in siang on tins page; latterly it has made up its
mind that it is "rabid insanity" that ailsus. Everybody to
his way of thinking, dear Collegian, but you had better let
the mental condition of The Hesperian take care of itself,
and occupy your spare moments in rustling up a column or
two of matter fit to read. One would think your editors
were on a vacation and your own esteemed self in the tender
care of a couple of dozen preps, if we might judge from the
lazy, shiftless character of the matter in the April number.
Now-a-days no college of consequence can afford to be
without its college paper if it wishes to sustain its reputation;
and desperate efforts arc made to support papers whose sole
claim to existence is the fact that they are the representatives
of colleges whose only alternative is to have no paper at all.
A careful and extended acquaintance among journals of this
class leads us to believe the latter to be the better condition.
1 he chief value of a college paper is said to be to advertise
us college, but it seems everywhere forgotten that there is a
kind of advertising which is worse than valueless. This is
the kind of advertising most college organs give their institu
tions; the only exceptions are in those colleges which hare a
world wide reputation and need no such aid. College papers
universally give evidence only of caiclcss, hasty effort, of
shallowness and immature brains. Placed in competition with
products of practical experienced minds their worthlcssncss
becomes chiefly apparent; and the institutions they represent
will be judged inevitably by what the papers really are worth,
with no thought of what they out to be under the circum
tanccs and without allowance for the incxpeiience of college
tudents and the rapid change of editorial material. Nor docs
a college paper even represent its college. From the fact
that not one out of ten college editors arc able to represent
anything m editorial work, and that no half-dozen men can
represent a body of from two hundred to two thousand, this
is inevitable. Give us, then, some valid reason for the exist
ence of a college paper, if there be any. Certainly not more
than two or three of all the ones we know, would ever be
missed. No, it was not the Signal that called forth these
remarks. et it is our solemn belief that granting that the
signal can think-some conscientious thinking and acting
upon one of the facts above set forth would do much to raise
it out ol the mire of dense ignorance and egotism in which it
is at present laboring.
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