THE HESPERIAN
EXCHANGE BRICA BRA C.
Most of our exchanges are running editorials commencing:
"With the coming of vernal spring-" As a rule they read
as though they had been kept standing since this time lastye.tr.
The Ariel for March is a very neat looking sheet typo
graphically, and we judge that as an exponent of its college
it comes much nearer the standard than the ordinary college
paper.
The Rambler for March is a much better paper than usual.
Especially commendable is a paper in which the author
attempts to refute the Donnelly theory of the authorship of
the Shakespeare plays.
The Acamedian seems to have suddenly become tired of
exchanging with us. Send your little handbilll in, boys,
unless you want to be taken oft' our list. We are not doing a
free lunch house business.
We must advise our little friend the Call to brace up its
Latin somewhat or else use its mother English. However,
wc notice that is possessed of quite the same tendency to
ball up the English, so its action upon our suggestion might
work no improvement.
The Butler Collegian is, in its way, one of the best papers
wc have reviewed this month. The characterization of Car
lylc is especially commendable. The excitable exchange
editor of the sheet, however, might profitably soak his head
in the benzine can a while.
The Muhlenberg Monthly for March comes out in a blonde
imitation of alligator skin cover. We cannot sec any im
provement in the change. Plain paper and type make the
prettiest showing in a college paper. Those contemplating a
change can't do better than pattern after the Ariel,
Wc are very much in favor of the plan, now being dis
cussed by many of our exchanges, to have a meeting of all
college editors called. They could accomplish, many things
which should not be neglected much longer. For instance,
one of our contemporaries might be allowed, by common con
sent, to print all the chestnuts, instead of as at present having
them divided between seventy or eighty well hicaning but
occasionally somewhat mistaken journals. We believe this is
a strong argument in favor of the proposed convention, and
demand its careful consideration.
The enthusiastic old saint who continues to do the ex
changes for the Niagara Index accuses Thk Hbsi'BKIAN in
a sleepy sort of a way of attempting to arouse his animosity.
While not saying it in so many words, he intimates that if
His Nibs were once successfully stirred up danger to some
body would result. No, dear old boy, life is too short, and
this paper is entirely too busy, to trouble itself about your
animosity or your friendship cither, for that matter. Hut
go on with your "good work." Our spirit is with you; and if
you are ever out our way, call and sec us. We'll borrow a
good cob pipe and try to make it interesting for you.
The Monthly the one published by the girls devotes a
column or so proving that the ex. man of Tub Hbstbrian is
a liar. Asy a rule he would have but little objection to the
filing of such proof, but in this case must undertake to punc
ture the anities of the ladies a second time. Add 4,000 to
your estimate of the size of this paper, measure your own
type 0(1 the galleys instead of in the columns, remember that
Tub Hbsi'BKIAN is a semi-monthly, and you will perhaps
not feel so big. When the girls have taken this prescription,
after shaking ' well, they may accept our compliments upon
the last number ot the Monthly. Its exchange work is
exceptionally well done.
Yes, dear Atheiucttm wc shall undoubtedly "continue to
howl" in perfect indifference to the silly maunderings of the
brainless little jackanapes, who rims your exchange column,
and with a sublime contempt for his imbecile efforts to epver
us with dirt. Fully aware of the righteousness of our cause
we shall continue our crusade against all such accidents of
college journalism r.s you and your ex. man. We shall not
attempt, as does your little seedling, to proceed by means of
dirt throwing so vile and contemptible that it would put to
shame a backwoods grcenbackcr; nor shall wc attempt to
make capital by ridiculing earnest and sensible endeavors of
college editors to improve themselves and their papeisj but
we shall find it our duty to put our finger upon the weak
spots so abundant and so manifest of such smart Aleck
upstarts as those who assist in the compilation of your rather
hoijiely sheet. It requires no small amount of gall for so in
significant a sheet as the Aiheiucuni, which contains less than
t
four small pages of matter original with its editors, to foist
itself upon intelligent readers as a college organ; it requires
nothing short of inexcusable conceit and monumental egotism
for such a thing to attack a paper like Tub Hbsi'BRIAN. Hut
snarl away. We shall entertain precisely the amount of
lespect for you that you deserve.
A little sheet from Vermont, which puts from two to seven
pica slugs between its items, accuses us oi a desire to obtain
notoriety, because the little "Jim Crow" thing was once given
some free advertising on this page. Hless your innocent soul
if that was our object wc should load for game of a respect
able size. Hut wc shall bear no grudge against you. If you
bad grit enough to open your mouth and speak your mind; if
your miserable little excuse for an exchange column was any
thing but a mutual admiration article and its editor anything
but a fisher for pufl's, no doubt you, too, would find somebody
to accuse you of a desire for notoriety ami to say various
other hard things concerning you.
Our last Occident contains an exchange column. Wc are
glad to see such a move toward improvement. To the young
man whose business it is to look after that department we
would like to suggest that he buckle on his armor and and
proceed about it in a businesslike manner. An exchange
column is an essential feature of a good college paper.
Hy exchange column we don't mean the collection of milk
and water trash a third of our exchanges print; nor do we
mean the symposium of chestnuts which adorn the pages of a
second third. We want to see your department filled with
matter of your own composition. To do this you must read
your exchanges carefully and critically. It will be a disa
greeable task, but in fifty years you won't know the differ
ence. Then write just what you think about them, and we
guarantee that your work will be readable. Never bid for a
puff. Knowing that you aie right, go ahead, and our bene
diction, and that of every conscientious exchange man, will
rest upon you.
A fellow who writes for the March number of the Lawren
tian under the caption "Railroad Monopolies" makes some
of the most amusing remarks we have seen for some time.
Waxing warm over his subject, he depicts in startling colors
the alarming condition into which the American public has
been brought by the railroads, and the evil effects that will
surely follow. An uninformed person might be led to sup
pose from some of his sounding phrases that he bail made
some little study of the questions which arc now being raised
by our public carriers. Not that we blame him for attempt
ing to discuss such questions. On the contrary, we believe
no set of problems has better right to occupy his attention.
He has erred only in displaying his childlike innocence of
of any knowledge of his subject. 01 course a railroad is ti
monopoly. Must it not be so in its very nature or else cease
to operate? And do not the advantages of this monopoly to
the public compensate a thousand fold for the incidental in
justices necessarily connected with it? Hut this brilliant
young economist who inveighs so heavily against gigantic
railroad monopoly ought to consult a statistic or two before
he rushes into print again. If he will take the trouble to in
vestigate he will find that in these days railroad investments
arc not considered great snaps by men with inony. Their
average return is but little more than that of government se
curities, and not nearly so sure. No, the wealthy man now
adays puts his spare money into trusts. This country has
I ihc best railway service in the world, and in no other country
is carrying done so cheaply. Its cost has become almost in
appreciable in the price of the vast number of articles of con
sumption carried. His cry of discrimination should be rele
gated to a place among the rubbish of the past, where it prop
erly belongs. If he will peruse the late report of the inter
state commission he will find that danger of that kind is
much more imminent in his mind's eye than in reality. Hut
we can't drop the matter till we have referred to his' Union
Pacific illustration. Let him compute the value of the
enoimous land grants twenty five years ago and then ask
himself what it is but the above mentioned railroad that gave
the land its present value. Hoforc making any n.orc wild
statements about matters of which he is so entirely ignorant
he should find out how long it has been since the Union
Pacific has been able to declare a dividend, and post up on
several other minor points, including some of the character
istics of competition and combination. When he has done
this he may reasonably renew his ambitions to supplant the
present authorities ill the niimk nl the mwnirc nml untutored
It --- - . - . v.v-w VwwT - w -
men who at present tend to the ballot business.
