THE NESPERIA N,
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STRAY PICK-VPS,
Pony!
Cram!
Exam!
Did you flunk?
Scientific motto: Non cum diptcra dorsally afflicted
sumus.
Song of exam: "A horse ahorse! my kingdom for a
"horse!"
Dr, F. to one of his classes: "Who rings those hells?"
Miss Smith.""
A. H. Bigclow came into town March 15 on a little private
speculation of his.
One of our worthy processors invited a co-ed to feel his
muscle the other day,
'"Much as 1 would 1 cannot call this evening Miss
1 must gohoine and cram.""
Ask "Webber why he went clear down on the other side of
the R. &. M. Tound house one night at nine o'clock
Professor in Senior Thetoric: -"Miss Talbot you Tcmeniber
do you not, the great abolition excitement just "before the
war?"
Miss Cramphorn was seen in the halls during a few of the
last days of the term. She was in from a term of school
teaching.
Miss Cramphorn, while teaching school, is said to have
received quite a little sum from the fund contributed to
"heroic teachers.'"
Miss Holmes sprained her ankle pretty "badly some time
ago and was, in consequence, prevented from attending school
lor more than a week.
They say that Miss Ida Bonnell was greatly angered by our
Inst issue and tore one of the papers to hits. Don't give
John so much extra work.
E. D. Bilhcr, driver of the famous horse Tav-Eve-See
visited 'our hall Thursday of last week. He came up to see
our renowned Dr. Billings.
Mr. Frank Patterson has favored us with a copy of hiB
"Ode to Chemistry." It may he seen "by calling at this office.
Come early and uvoid the rush-
Tlutrber put in an appearance at the "University just before
exams commenced. He had just finished a terms teaching
and had conic in to see the hoys suffer.
Thc'two clubs, scientific and classical, held their last meet
ings of the term Saturday, March 3. Dr. Fontaine spoke
to 'the classical club on -"Origin of Romance Languages."
John Green will busy himself during vacation by putting
an inch and half water pipe in the main building. It will
extend from cellar to garre, and valves will be placed in
position on every floor with hose attachments for use in case
of fire.
"When will our estimable faculty learn not to turn loose
tmybody on the poor unoffending attendants at chapel? Do
they .suppose we have nothing else Ho do than to devote forty
minutes of our time to somebody who really has nothing to say
but can't resist the opportunity to hear himself talk. The last
cases were unmitigated impositions. How would it do to
pledge men, when inviting them to conduct chapel exercises
not 'that they won't say anything (the two last incumbents
did that -most effectually), but that they won't talk more than
an hour and a half. We have just had another dose. Have
the students no rights in this matter?
The last chapel exercises of the term came Monday,
March 12, The Chancellor informed us that we had donccon
sidcrable work this term.
One of our chemists, expatiating on the beauties of his
lady love, was heard to remark, that her eyes were as blue
as the combination of potassium ferrocyanidc and ferric
chloride.
Prof. (In Junior essay class") "We will next listen to an
essay by Mr, R,"" Mr, R, "Why, professor, I have re
ceived no notice to prepare a Junior essay,1' Prof, "But I
have a lengthy production with your name attached,"" Mr,
R. "Oh, that's a Senior oration.""
They say that one day Wchbcr found Smithes new derby.
He laid it down on the floor, laid a plank on top of it and
stamped on the plank and Tan; Smith pursued Wcbbei even
to the antipodes; and when they arrived at the antipodes
Smith shoved brickbats over the edge, and these descending
through space smote Webber's dome of thought, and laid
him out. Thus was Smith revenged.
The eighth recital of the University music department was
given, under the direction of Miss Cochran, March 13. The
exercises, especially the instrumental part, were good; and,
as shown hy the encores, were greatly enjoyed by the large
audience. Some "boys in the gallery seemed to consider
themselves ohligcd to uphold the proverbial irrcspecribility
of the small hoy by throwing showers of paper hits upon the
audience below,
Dr, Billings spoke to the hoys in Professor Hunt's Toom,
March to. His talk was on the development of government,
and the kernel of his talk was that every development in the
science of government has arisen from a desire to obviate
some danger. He interspersed in his talk several anecdotes
and stories, which greatly amused the boys. At the dose a
vote of thanks was extended to the doctor for his talk. We
hope that we will often have the pleasure of listening to him.
The Irving society of the higli school "held its annual D.
A. B. oratorical contest Saturday evening, March to. By
8 o'clock the large main room was so crowded that the first
orator addressed a large audience. The program was rather
long, and some of the productions exceeded the twenty min
utes which audiences have set as the arbitrary limit of an
oration, so that, toward the end of the evening, the audience
grew restless und inattentive. Although the musical part of
the program was in proportion Tather short, it was apprec
iated. The first prize, a set of Waverly novels, was
awarded Miss Minnie DePuc on "Provincialisms." The
second prize, a set of Schiller, was taken by Miss Louise
Tucker on "Our Weapons and Our Battlefields."
The paths of thclits in the laboratory are indeed beset with
pitfalls. One day a lit came into the physical laboratory.
Winks immediately went the rounds of the scis and they pro
ceeded to take him in charge. The sun was shining and they
first enticed him into standing in the focus of a large burning
glass, until a large hole was burned in his trousers. , Next
taking advantage of his innocence they got him to take hold
of the wires of an electric Lattery. As he still survived one
of the friends slipped up and poured half a gill of mercury
down the back of his neck. As the slippery metallic liquid
coursed along his spine it seemed to infuse into him new life
and he left. One of his coat-tails broke -off as he turned the
corner of the door and is still preserved for show when tfhe
scis execute their weekly war dance around the festive pie,.
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