THE HESPERIAN.
It
precisely as he talks; there are colloquillisms of speech which
could not, without violation of good taste, lc employed in
writing, but I do mean to say, that one ought to try to speak
in such a way, that were his words to be reproduced in print,
he would not be obliged to blush at such remarks as "I didn't
catch on," or "maybe I didn't get there," and a host of sim
ilar choice expressions. Why, if this thing is allowed to go
on at its present rate, we shall eventually become the most
illiterate nation on the face of the globe. It will come to
pass (as in Mr. Dupcw's allusion,) that we shall be framing
laws which neither we nor any one will be able to interpret.
And all this I bclicvc.can be traced to our supeficial training
in the use ofcnglish and in our utter inability to apply even
the result o( such training. If it is thought that I have ex
aggerated the facts, let the doubter attend a session of our
own legislature and listen, for a while to the speeches made
there. He'will, unless I mistake myself, have the pleasure of
hearing expressions which seem strangely out of place, as
coming from men of brains, the pillars of the state. Or let
him walk along the street and hear as I have, little school
misses of seven and therabouls accost each other with such
salutations as, "ah there," followed by the question, 'how're
comin up?" Of course, they arc not to blame; they only re.
peat what they hear their older brothers and sisters say,
what they hear in their parents parlors.
Of what use, let me ask, is it for a student to become
thoroughly acquainted with the classic languages both ancient
and modem, if he so shamefully abuses his own tongue?
what student, again, would think of inquiring after his pro
fessor's health by asking how he was "coming up", as he
would undoubtedly do to his fellow students? Indeed.whcn
thispracticc is stopped, so soon shall we be able to use
our own tongue with some degree of accuracy, and imitate
Addison or Thackeray in the purity of our speech.
If, then the use of slang in common conversation is object
ionablc, how must it appear when spread before us in writ
ing, as when we received a letter, profusely interspersed with
words and phrases not allowed in good usage? There is
absolutely nothing that so quickly stamps one as not of the
highest culture as the careless selection of words, not only
in speaking, but far more so, in his correspondence. Here
there arc none of the extenuating cirumstanccs that may
cause others to over look his lapses; he as it were, reflects his
own culture in what he writes, and it is by that, we must
J udge him, for it is the sole basis upon which we can form an
estimate of his character and refinement. Knowing this
fact, he should,by every means in his power, endeavor to
make his words the reflex of his mind, and not be untrue to
himself in using words and expressions which he knows vio
pite every rule of purity and good taste.
CHRONICLE OF HESPERICUS.
Now it came to pass that when they came together, the
Bigelowites were more numerous than the Polkotitcs, even as
the leaves of a tree unto the leaves of a first year student's lex
icon.
When the Polkotitcs found this out, they attempted to
postpone the meeting and their high priest called aloud say
ing that the meeting was dissolved, and lo! the Polkotitcs
withdrew in a body and the high priest of the Bigelowites
took the high seat and the scribe was chosen even from among
the Bigelowites.
And when they left the high place it was nigh unto night.
Now it came to pass that the high priest of the Polkotitcs
said that this was unlawful and he sent his messengers every
where to announce that a meeting would take place on the
15th of the same month to choose ascribe.
Now the Bigelowites were satisfied even with the first
choosing, but when they spake unto the wise heads of the
country, they replied, saying, "Go ye unto the high place and
defeat the Polkotitcs again, lest the strife should continue in
our midst and rend us in twain." So the Bigelowites went
unto the high place and when they met the Polkotitcs there
were as many Bigelowites as Polkotitcs and as many Polko
titcs as Bigelowites.
iow 11 came to pass mat tnc roikotitcs consulted among
themselves and lo! they put forth a Bigelowite for scribe
against the chosen one of the Bigelowites. For they said
"If a. Polkoiiic is put lorward many of ourown brethrcn.who
have a sense of justice, will desert us, so, lo! we will put
forth a Bigelowite, and thus deceive our few honest breth
ren." So the fight began and they wrangled long and hard.
Now it came to pass that when eventide came on apace cer
tain Bigelowites who had been into a far country, arrived up
on the scene. And when the place had been illuminated the
Polkotites saw that they would be defeated. So they
called upon their chief beast of burden tc bray a
few notes, which he did with a great noise,
but little sense. And when this had no
effect on the Bigelowites, they even had the chief member of
the Polkotitcs arise tocxplain his vote.Now it came to pass that
when this had no effect, except to momentarily stun the Big
lowitcs, one of the Polkotites left the high place and lo! in a
short time the entire assembly was wrapped in darkness.
But, by the aid of sundry newly invented articles named
tooth-picks, matches and lamps, the high place was re-illuminated
and the choice of the Bigelowites was chosen for
scribe. Thus ended the second chapter of the chronicle of
the Hespcricus.
This palpably one-sided account of the matter, was handed
to us to print and as it is our policy to print all meritorious
articles handed to us by students whether or not they voice our
sentiments, we considered this as entitled to have its place in
paper. .ca.j
Now it came to pass, on the tenth day of the first month,
of the 10th year of the reign of Universitas Ncbraskicnsis,
that the people did go up into their high place to choose
from among them a scribe, who should edit the Hespericus
for a twelvemonth. And lo! there arose strife between the
Polkotitcs and the Bigelowites; for once upon a time there
was a solemn compact made, by which the Polkotites and the
Bigelowites were, each in their turn, to control the worshipful
office of scribe. But lo! the Polkotites having been in power
a twelvemonth and having nothing to lose but everything to
gain, grew selfish even like unto the swine, and thinking that
they could still hold the office, went into the high place in
full force.
our
OUR EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY.
Our eighteenth day of rejoicing, our eighteenth dayof en
thusiasm; when students, throwing aside their books, turn
their thoughts towards their University, its progress in the
past, its position in the present and its prospect for the fu
ture, has passed and has added its share to the sweet remem
brances of college life. Eighteen years of life! Eighteen
years of progress! What wonder that we should simply grow
wild with enthusiasm when the birthday brings up such re
membrances. Nothing can be more fitting than on such a
day, the University, students, authorities and friends
should commemorate that event. Last year was introduced a
