THE HESPERIAN.
Why is the gallery at Funke's good enough for co-eds
when they go it alone?
Miss Emma Levi of Nebraska City has been in tne city vis
iting her sister Minnie.
J. H. Marble was compelled to take a visit to Ashland last
week to recruit his over-worked(?) system.
To the uninitiated a visit to tha laboratory would give the
impression that they were preparing colds to order, judging
from emanating sounds.
The Classical students have been trying to form a club, but
have not yet been able to get enough together to have a
meeting. Come, all ye admirers of Homer and Virgil, show
more enthusiasm for the cause .
One of the boys who boards at a club says, that the eoflec
is so weak that he has to take his fork and help it out, when
that fails he puts the pot over the butter which is strong
enough to send the coffee bubbling out the spout.
Wu are sorry to note that there have been of late some pet
ty peculations from the different libraries of the University.
The private libraries of the professors have been the ones to
suffer. We sincerely hope that the culprit is not a member
of the student body.
We understand that Livingston has turned his attention to
the dramatic art. His latest achievement is in the role of the
Ghost in Hamlet. Experienced critics speak of it as a pro
nouueed success, and predict a brilliant future for the young
man.
Our infants are growing up and do not require their moth
ers watchful eye so often. Master Gcorgie Spurlock now goes
home but twice a week, while Master Thrift has reduced his
homeward trips to every alternate day instead of every day
as formerly.
"Mr X. in what substances does water appear?"
Student. "Most anything"
Prof. "Not definite enough. In what substances does it
not appear."
Student. "Well the Desert of Sahara."
About the maddest man seen in these parts for many a day
was John Green, when he spied the agent for Hood's Sarsa
parilla dropping posters before each door. But when John
took him by the collar, escorted him across the hall and down
the steps, then the scene became pathetic, that is, from the
agent's point of view,
The University choir have been industriously piacticing ev
er since fall and to some purpose, judging from the sounds
that issue from Miss Cochran's room. We fail to sec any
good reason why the choir should not render an anthem once
in a while. We arc sure the students would appreciate it as
a change from the usual order of things.
Fred Shepherd, formerly ol '87, was lately a visitor at the
University. Fred has been out with a surveying party, judg
ing from the appearance of his face which would give one
the impression that he was a member 6f the Red in
stead of the Caucasian race. We hope to see him in school
again, as he has made a splendid record as a student.
The worst yet on our friend Klcinc implicates him in a
somewhat serious affair. A senior describes the scene thusly:
'We stood calmly viewing the progress of the classic game
'(post-office), reflecting upon childhood follies, when the plot
suddenly thickened when we heard -announced a strangely
familiar name. We saw him enter, heard the usual 'how
much?' and then. I was unable to contain myself, ami ut
tered a tremendous yell a scampering and all was quiet."
Will and Sig were seen to enter Funke's one night last
week.
We would like to make mention of the fact that Mr W. E.
Johnson an old student is engaged in a buisness of considera
ble importance to students. He is now proprietor of the
Turko-Russian Bathing Parlors on nth street. He has in
connection with this buisness a first class laundry and is at
the same time general manager of the Neb. News Bureau.
Mr. Johnson was once a student with us and appreciating the
trials and cares of student life will make to students a 10 and
20 per cent reductions on any work in his line.
MEDICAL ITEMS.
The regular lectures have been somewhat interfered with
recently by the absence of the professors. They have given
their services for the last two years gratutiously and are of
course anxious to get an appropriation from tne
present Legislature, which takes thein from school.
The confirmation of Prof. Knapp to the posit ion of Sup't
of the Insane Hospital throws a large amount of clinical ma
terial into the hands of the students.
One of our ladies has temporarily severed her conne ction
with the medical college
There is always room at the top and the Medics, have
it.
BRIC-A-BRAC.
Yale college is now called Yale University.
A college is to be built at Salt I akc City, Utah.
Cuvier tells us that an elephants' trunk has 40,000 muscles
in it.
The oldest college in America is the college of Mexico,
which was fouuded fifty years before Harvard.
Four thousand molecules can sit comfoitably on the point
of a pin. Herein the molecule differs from man.
We welcome five new exchanges to our table, The Nut,
Reveille, DeLand Colllgiate, College Current and Varsity.
Recent observations are said to indicate the existence of a
submarine volcanic crater between the Canary Islands and the
coast of Portugal.
"The Senior may have dignity,
The Junior may have cheek,
The Soph may think himself the world abpve,
But it takes the youthful Freshie
Just lrom home and Mamma's knee
To get there in the blooming fields ot love."
These are said to be the only rules by which the students of
Michigan arc governed:
I. No student shall set on fire any of the college build,
ings.
II. Under no circumstances shall any student kill a mem
ber of the faculty.
Down with the bird wings, bird breast, and all sorts of bird
ornaments for hats and bonnets. About forty Iowa College
girls have shown their human feeling and good sense gener
ally by pledging themselves, not to wear such ornaments.
The News Letter.
Who of our University girls will follow suitr"
The average age of those who enter college now, is seven
teen; whilst a century ago it was fourteen. This speaks well
for both colleges and students. It bespeaks elevation of
standard in the former and thoroughncss'and ambition in the