8
THE HESPERIAN
Prof. Bcsscy lectured at the State University of Kansas re
cently. The Courier of that place contains quite an extended
account of it.
Washington's birthday was not celebrated very enthusiasti
cally by the students of N. S. U. Celebrations and classwork
do no' harmonize very well.
The first year classes in German and French arc receiving
thorough drill in pronunciation, which is something unusual,
but is none the less acceptable.
Symptoms of spring fever have already appeared; it seems
as though that usually reliable weather prophet, the ground
hog, certainly made a mistake this time.
We regret to say that on account of poor health Miss Hattic
Curtiss has been obliged to leave her work at the University.
It is to be hoped that her absence will not be of very long du
ration. With the approach of spring comes a very suspicious odor
which permeates the building. It evidently emanates from
a room on the first floor; and that room isn't the laboratory as
is generally supposed.
'Why is studying Physics like sitting down in a basket of
eggs? It is fruit less". This was handed us by a melancholy
member of the Junior Physics class, whose name we suppress
on account of his family, who arc respectable people.
There has always been a spirit of rowdyism manifested in
and about the halls on Friday evenings. This has heretofore
been attributed to the "town boys," but at the present time
we think it may justly be charged to some of the students.
The Sophomore class will, in the course of human events,
probably give a French play. The careful drill they arc re
ceiving under Prof. Edgren would make this not at all a diffi
cult thing for this class to do and it would be appreciated by
the public.
It don't take a very sharp man to stick in the ground now
days. Why, just the other day we came across a Senior whose
attachment to the moistened earth was so great that without
losing his rubbers it was absolutely impossible for him to ex
tr icate himself.
Those ambitious students who expected to receive credit for
a whole term's work in Spanish, by studying three weeks,
were greatly disconcerted when the Prof, remarked "I can't
think of giving you credit for more time than you actually
worked." It is cruel, but just.
As anile students do not squander much lime or money go
ing to the theater, but when a first class troupe favors the city
with an entertainment, the University is generally pretty well
represented, as the number of flunks the day after Robsoa &
Crane's appearance will attest.
We were dreadfully shocked the other day to see a "candy
kiss" drop from the pocket of our estimable friend, J. S. Green.
Under our reproachful gaze he became painfully embarrassed,
and plead that he couldn't help it if the girls got mashed on
him and gave him such things. Beware John, Beware.
The Hesperian hears with regret of the prospective dc
parture of three of our most estimable students. Mr. J. C.
Ilonnell and family will remove to Burlington, Iowa. This
will involve the withdrawal from the University of Misses
Lizzie, Jennie and Ida. A remonstrance might be in order.
Some people arc so accomodating. Now, for instance, take
McCance. He is so accomodating that one day when the mud
was four inches deep on the crossings he deliberately seated
himself and cleaned the walk with his new suit of clothes.
It is seldom you meet a man s, willing to sacrifice himself for
the benefit of others.
The office is draped in mourning. An opportunity has been
lost which perhaps will never again come to us; so wc feel blue,
and arc inclined to think that the "god-star of our fate" has
gone back on us. Wc didn't attend the meetings of the editor
ial association; thought it wouldn't pay. But alas! the Com
mercial gave them free entertainment, and wc arc out. This
ts another evidence of the hard luck of editors.
Miss Ethel Marsland entertained the members of the Fresh
man class, on Feb. 20 at her home "way out east" on O St.
It is said that many forcible expressions were indulged in after
leaving the street cars, when it became apparent that they
were still three blocks from their destination, and the mud ex
ceedingly deep. A few rubbers were lost, but aside from this
the youngsters returned in good condition after having spent
an evening very pleasantly and probably profitably.
Seven happy Juniors, little thinking of the fate in store for
them, entered room No. 4, a few days ago, prepared to make
a brilliant recitation in Physics. But alas! Woe and misery
was awaiting them. Examination questions were before them.
One glance at the blackboard was sufficient, and with a de
spairing cry four of that class sprang to the door and vanished;
thus three remained and suffered untold agonies before the
close of that awful hour. "Must such an experience be re
peated?" is the now all-absorbing question.
They say that Fletcher was "the noblest Roman of them all"
among the supes in the "Comedy of errors." When he
frowned down upon the audience, with that look of proud
disdain, some of the more timid thought seriously of leaving
the Opera House, for fear of giving offence if they persisted
in staying. But Forsyth, our own Forsyth! How our heart
swells with pride and our eyes fill with grateful tears when we
think of his martial bearing and his if-thcre-be-three-among-you-who-dare-face-me-on-the-bloody-sands
look. Sublime!
An adventurous co-ed of the Sophomore class having a de
sire to know something of the future, had recourse to the old
custom of hanging a wish-bone over the door. The library
door was the one chosen for the purpose. The mute fortune
teller was placed in position and the co-ed entered the room,
took a scat at the table and watched the door with feverish
anxiety. At length the door opened and lo! our co-ed, with
the wildest consternation beheld the form and features of an
eligible middk-aged professor. What followed can be better
imagined than described.
In a note to a member of our staff, Mr. A. G. Warner, now
studying at Johns Hopkins University, states that the deni
zens of the Chesapeake shore expect western men to astonish
them with Indian stories. Assisted by J. H. Holmes he has
thus far supplied the demand for romances, but their combined
intellects are about to give way under the burden. The note
closes with a request for reinforcements in the shape of the
body of the author of "Storm Beaten." When both Warner
and Holmes run short of lies, there is something wrong with
the solar system.
A novel method of preservation from torture has been
adopted by the N St. boarding club. Some of the members
of that club were suffering from a severe mental strain caused
by efforts to perpetrate jokes or puns upon their fellow board
ers. In order to save such ones from untimely graves, an ordi
nance has been passed to the effect that "He who shall pre
sume to relate a stale joke or originate a pun, shall be fined in
the sum of ten cents for each and every offence. All money
accruing from such fines shall be expended for oysters as soon
as a sufficient amount has accumulated to purchase one gal
lon." They have nearly enough money in the treasury now,
and have appointed March 5th as the day for oysters.
