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About Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 1, 1886)
THE HESPERIAN. Ufer- NONDESCRIPT. COLD FACTS IN FEARFUL VERSE. Hcark you now into this story, Dreadful legend of hard flunking, In the land of fair Nchraska, And the place they call a college, Where they study fiUoktll'cm; icy the btudy till the eyes arc weary Latin, music, elocution, And more stuff than we can mention. In a room up near the attic, Room where sat a French professor There was sound of many voices Wrestling with the conjugations. For a term they had not studied, Norvas come examination And a gloom about them settled, Deep it settled 'round these youngmenj. There was one named Misterallcn And another called Oldknighta, "Andy" "Wig" and likewise Barrett, Who with French verbs bravely tussled; Struggled hard to get more'nsixty, For these French verbs they are awful Twisted, snarled and so almighty Tough that he who gets 'cm is a daisy. But the bravest of these youngmen Bravest in the Frenchman's classes, Was a young man called Paulclarka Who this French before had taken One year since (grade, three pluss sixty) Who to raise his marks to ninety Studied hard again this winter, Studied with the Soph'more classes. When the trying siege was over And the marks to them were given There was heard a mighty wailing In the lodges of these youngmen. For a few must takeitovcr And some more had a condition. But the saddest was Paulclarka Who to raise his marks had striven. Striven with a mighty effort For a grade morc'n three plus sixty To adorn the homeward record. Loud he cried to all his classmates When he found he had but sixty, That if they had enough to pass 'em Satisfied they should be with it. And they sadly smiled, these youngmen, Sayirg, (these who had not fiunk-erl) Takeitover that they dared not. been coming in steadily during'thc vacation, and wc arc proud to place before our readers a collection of poetry that has never been equalled in any language except the Icelandic. The first response came from Frank Wheeler. It is hint ed by a friend that the young man had been laboring on this gem for four months, intending to use it for another purpose. Seeing a sure chance of taking a prize, however, he sent the beauty to adorn our collection. OUR UNIVERSITY OUR PRIZE CONTEST. A college song is the long felt want in this locality. For years, we as an institution have yearned after a rousing throat splitting song that would fuse us into a united body and wear out the ground with our enemies. We have watched for it, hoped for it, and even prayed for it, but nothing more melli fluous than the celebrated "John Jones" has ever deigned to come down and dwell among us. Since the suppression of that classical selection by the authorities the void has been aching harder than ever, and this paper is now engaged in the coumendable work of filling np the vacuum. Some of the material used may cause a worse ache than existed before its introduction, but trifles will not deter s from accomplishing this great work. A first effort was made to secure the poetry. Scented notes were dispatched to each member of the Senior and Junior classes, offering a prize of five dollars for the best original poem suitable for our purpose. This was done im mediately before the close of the fall term. Answers have F. I.. WHEELER. O dear to our hearts isjtlio school wo attend hero, r. With co-ed no beauteous, Professors so grim, And dandy wArm halls where wo loaf hi tho gloaming, And ouly four block from a place -to get beer. U. lliU Is a boss place, a boss placo for culture, For mental maniar and Corinthian column.; Wu'll bask In Its shadow until wcjgo busted, And then wo will quietly all.lo to our hum . Homes. The only objection to the above is the incidental allusion to beer; such a thing cannot be tolerated, as it will give York College and a few other denominational high-schools a weap- . to use against the "Infidel University." It is true that mor ally this University is absolutely on u higher level than any col lege in the state, but the truth of this statement wilFnever worry those who speak against us. They get around it some way. On account of that jocose allusion to the Teutonic bev erage, the poem is rejected. However if Frank will elimi nate the objectionable word the committee will again consider the case. The next response was as follows: A COLLEGE SONG. I1Y W. S. I'KKIUN. Hall to thee, college, hall O, University 1 Destined thy dying wall Never to bo! So long as time shall last, Wc will to thee stick fast, Nor from thco flee. This would undoubtedly be the winning article if it were long enough for the puipbsc. It has the true ring of a college song and can be readily adapted to any old hymn time that might be selected. Another competitor for lyric honors is Cary Sigel Polk. His effusion is called THE RISE OF A GIANT. When Freedom from her acclivity Winks at the Northern Star, nd tho sun from its high eminence Shoots bcaras'at tho Polar b'ar, There- stands beueath thc;sunshlne, Or whoro euushino might want to roam, No swcllcr Institution Than this our college home This is the first stanza. On account of limited space wc cannot publish the remaing fifty-two in full, but will have the entire poem framed and hung down in the coal house where it can be seen by the curious. Admission free and reserved seats thrown in. Let the entire college turn out and view the remains of the best specimen of brevity in the English Lan guage. Here we have A COLLEGE SONG. BY G. B. FRANKFO.RTER. If yon want an education Hero's thoiplace to got it; Finost placo In atl tho nation, And don't'you forget it.
