THE HESPERIAN.
DRIFT.
Another trusting, confiding heart has been caught out in the
rain. without an umbrella and a pair of gum over-shoes. A
dapper young men (rem Kanscs State University, high up in
the council of the most potent, grave and reverend Phi Gam
ma Delta fraternity, came all the way to Lincoln to establish
a chapter in our very midst. Poor fellow! He failed to dis
cover that the energetic and enthusiastic correspondence he
had been conducting with the chief fiends of our barbarian
Gehenna was only intended to lure him on to destruction.
Ah! the agony of that moment when he felt the axe descend
ing with the well-known dull sickening thud! The moral of
this gloomy episode in our jovial college life is as follows: "Do
not be too fresh or you may be salted down." The Drifter
confesses to being "one of those naughty frats, you know."
That is why such breaks cause his soul to well up in a trans
port of sadness.
We are surprised! In one of the college papers the Drift
er hadthe great pleasure-of reading the exquisite oration of that
lamented Northwestern Inter-state Oratorical Contest. Now,
as we perused, a strange feeling came over us. It was like
the flood of recollections and memories of the past that rushes
over a commercial traveler when he finds at a railroad eating
house the same old ham sandwich that he marked six months
before. As we read the eloquent and. poetic effusion of the
honorable gentlemen from De Pauw University, almost invol
untarily our minds roved back through long forgotten scenes
and the past unfolded like a dream. (It always unfolds that
way.) "To come to the point," as noble Brutus said when he
ran on his bowie knife, we had heard that oration before.
Thereon hangs a tale. Last fall a cheeky young man from
De Pauw a. member of D. K. E., as is the successful orator
entered the first prep department of Nebraska University. He
was also an orator. In the local contest he favored the cultured
audience with his views on a "Conflict between Capitol and
Labor." Now that oration was almost identical with the
prize oration. It contained the same old mixed metaphor
"Then let the song ofBethlehem's morning star peal on etc."
It was ornamented with the same figurative Chinese lantern
with which the successful orator illuminated his scanty but
well appearing thoughts. "Out from the shades of Gethsem
ine; out from the riven tomb, he of the thorn crowned brow
is walking down the troubled ages, etc." One more incident
al is worthy of note. Both orations contained the unexplain
able statement that "Capitol without conscience is tyranny,
Labor without conscience is anarchy." Now gentlemen of
the press walk up and deposit your guesses as to the true ex
planation of these singular facts, we give it up.
The world is overloaded with works of fiction. The Drift
ERcan scarcely imagine how any one should have the unmiti
gated gall to inflict another and yet another of the stereotyped
novels, upon a long suffering public. But they will do it. We
may as well be alvays prepared to encounter these never failing
s(ock incidents that were new, perhaps, when Bob Ingersoll
was a small boy and invoked shaol over his losing games of
"keeps" and "peg-top. " It is "with a feeling of unexpress
itile sadness" that we watch the gradual process ever going
on in the world of fiction by which little things, once pretty
and entertaining are converted into dilapidated lay-figures
which may be dressed up and dragged in anywhere. The
first time wc read about the quiet little country maiden, who,
while visiting her wealthy and aristocratic aunt in the great
city, was asked to play and who, steppiug up to the piano,
modestly yet touchingly drcv forth the strains of a pathetic
Scotch ballad, with the result of horrifying her
aunt and delighting- the astonished company; the first time
wc read of this charming bit of sincerity and unconventional
simplicity, we, too were delighted. But now, and our
eyes moisten as we write, that exquisite little scene in which
the childish musician so completely sets at defiance the well
known custom of causing an instrument to groan with some
"Storm" or "Tempest" or" " whenever an invitation
to play is extended; has become commonplace. It is in all
the popular society novels. It has become "quite the thing"
for a novelist to introduce the scotch ballads and youthful
pianists on any and every occasion. So it goes. This is but one
instance. There are many more like unto it who cannot deny
the unwelcome truth. Originality is a rare and precious jew
el, but, alas! one that is easily counterfeited.
fashion notes.
On commencement day seniors will wear neatly blacked
boots and wear out their audience.
Campus stiles admit more than last year; more at a time.
Crushed bananna will be the popular fall shade.
Ladies pursuing the scientific course can wear a coiffure of
cosines, trimmed with coordinates and abscissas, and caught
up behind with a defferentiated polynomial.
Mortar-boards are still worn by ash-barrels and back alleys.
CAMPUS CANARDS.
And now loaf.
Call us The Hesperian.
What are you going to do this summer?
What is the matter with our new cover?
Are your hands as cold as that? Gatnbee.
Tutor Culver is rusticating in the wilds of Chicago.
There is a rumor that Churchill is an inconstant dude.
"If you are discovered you are lost." Ask Will O. Jones.
Knight has accepted a position in the Thomas Orchestra.
(Not official.)
It is a pity that many of the students will not subscribe to
their college paper.
The Omaha Bee, speaking of the Union exhibition, calls
Conlee the "Singed cat." Good.
Ex-Chancellor Fairfield did not draw a very-bja crowd. The
Philo's have come to the conclusion that lectures never pay.
The Shakespeare class has finished the Tempest and now
consider themselves as competent critics as Hudson, Rolfe or
Furness.
The small but noisy remnant of the Cadet Band that re
mains in the city has been engaged to assist our German
brethren in their Saengerfest. '
Three society exhibitions coming one after another are
tiresomely -tiresome. Let us have a reformation of some
sort or else wc shall all be bored to death.
The choral society which meets in the Union Hall is sing
ing some difficult music. The instruction in this department
is first class and all should take advantage of it.
They tell us that Fulmer is an inveterate masher indeed
the most conscienceless in the whole institution. This is prob
ably a mistake; appearances are usually deceitful. .
The past year has seen little interest in base-ball and, in
fact, no. sports have been largely indulged in. Next year
we must do better. A field day would enliven things
