THE HESPERIAN STUDENT,
ma.
Blessed are the digs; for they shall be called the
pets of the faculty.
Blessed arc ye when ye are rusticated for attending the
skating-rink aud marrying a graceful pot-wrestler: for
ye hhall never "be afflicted -with diseases of the hrnin. Ye
have no hrains.
The Drifter "killed a man the other day. He asked
xis if "Macbeth -was practicing at the University this eve
ning," We lound on inquiry, thai he called the Orches
tra "JMacbcW "because "it murdered sleep.1' Justifiable
homicide.
And now our exchanges "begin to flaunt a "bloody shiit
over the Northwestern, Inter-state, Collegiate, Oratorl"
cal, Association, (Heavens! -what u namel) and they
curse themselves and their constituency for various un.
hcaid of sins. "We imagine that DePauw and Knox -will
"be 1he most -wrapped tip in a holy calm of .any of the
No rth west em lut cr-sta t Ool 1 egi ate 0 ratori cal As
sociation organs. Say, what is oratory, anyway? Is it
of any use to any body? Did oraton ever accomplish
anything of value?. If so, -when and -where? Daniel
Webster used to harangue the gray-beards of Oongresp
"but he did not get to he President, Demosthenes paral
yzed Philip and "died at fie hands of an assassin'" him
self. Cicero annihilated Cataliue but -was in time, himself
annihilated. Oratory may "be fun to the audience, hut
it is death on the speakers. It is "bad to he heat in a hig
contest like the one at Columbus, "but it is much worse
o get there. The Drifter will rechristen himself 4,Den
nifi" If any of his fellow oditorial drudges can point out
some valuable result that attends the successful college
orator. Some of them are preaching jn Tiuknown
localities; some of them ate "copy-holders" on country
newspapers; some of them are dead-"beats,-who tlnuk they
have a reputation and are tryiug to live on it. We are
proud of infant Nebraska's infant orator, Look -what a
record K. S.TJ. made when she -was first admitted to the
North-western, Oolle " -you "know the rest ,
She took the royal prize. That was her ruin, for now she
-will be continually looking out for another wind-fall,
"We are content -with our goose-egg. It -was jx fair de.
cision and shows tip the progressive -west in an enviable
light. Ih -wind -we surrender to Indiana or any other state
of the effete east, but "when it comes to real energy the
kind that makes a city double its population every six
years then we -walk up front and remove the drapery
from the bush, -while our gasping rivals Hook on in .help
less amazement.
What We Woitld Like to bEE.
John Green arrest a man for crossing the campuB.
The recipe by which Kuight t uncs his violin.
Anothermysterioue trio asking Prof. Hicks about a
lump'ofiron-pyriteB treasure.
A university Glee-Club.
A collection of college oratoiB bottled for exhibition.
Josef Cook on roller-skates.
Another lunatic call the University an infidel school.
Slons singing "Boric of Ages."
A repotition'of the'"Eope act.-"
Tiie sight of two .hundred d ol Jars Tor lhu Student,
A first prep an love.
Churchill making his Sunday eveningicall.
There is a romance about camping out lhat touches the
heart of the average student. The -whole cadet corps in
tends to take in thp city of Bealrice, much as they did the
village of Milford last year. They will live on roots and
forage among the barrel annexes of Beatrice hotels.
They will sleep on the soft side of a stone-quarry and
the rain will gently trickle down ihrough their canvass
tents Iiom evening until the dawn of day. They will
steal rhickens, fliit with the cows and ride stray horses.
They will have a rojal good time and will not get over
it for a month. That is, in other words, they will enjoy
the privelege of learning the comforts and luxuries of a
genuine -uncivilized existence. To commune with nature
is always pleasant. It is most pleasant when a crowd
goes alung to keep you company in communing.
Something of a treat is in preparation for the students
o f N, S. U. Those who hav been here for several y ears
will look forward with especial pleasure to the lecture
which ex-Chancellor Fairfield will deliver in the opera
house, June 3rd. We who "knew Dr, Paiifield would go&
dozen miles .afoot to hear him give one of his popular and
scholarly addresses, 4ind tnose wh have entered the Uni
versity siuce he left the helm will not be willing to miss
the opportunity of seeing and hearing a man who saw
the U. ofN, through the darkest days of its history.
An interesting relic has been discovered by Prof,
Funiess, the great Shakespearian scholar. It is a solil
oquy of Hamlet, given by him in his bachelors hall at
Wittenberg and during his college days. Wenppendii
few lines to 6how its value as -unravelling knotty
p oints in the Princess character.
"To flunk or not to flunk? that is the question;
Whether "Mis nobler in the mind lo suffer the quiz and
query of professorial pluckers, or to tuck cribs inside the
vest and collar, and by reference get their? To fail, .to
miss no more; and by .amiss to say wc end the labor and
thelhousand sleeplessnightsthat students groan in, ?tis
a consummation devoutly to be wished. To fail, to miss
To missl perchance get fired! ay, there"1 the rub; for
when we're fired we needs must get to work and earn our
salt. TJierri's the reppect that makes ns stick by college
liberty; lor who would ride the cows and milk the mules;
the knock-kneed mill, the sweet voiced 'separator' whod
reap the potatoes, dig the wheat and corn when he might
loaf upon a college campus unless examination scared,
bim? k, h,1'
University students are Invited lo visit Lincoln Busi
ness College.
The bestjudgesiof artistic work goto Kelleyfc Co ifor
PhotoB. No. 1020 O st.
G. B. Skinner deals in fancy horsea, jiIbo turns out fine
Blnglo aud double rigs at Jowprlces.
Possibly Borne of these chilly morniugB .and evenings
will induce you to look at W. B. Dennis1 lineof under
wear. Bumember'Studeuts you can get fine work, and better
inducements, 3u the "Fotograf" line, at Kelley & Oo.
1020 0.-SL
Students, when you want a first .claBB shave or' a boB
bair cut go to Sam Westeriield'Bvoomer .of O Juid'Twelveth
Don't Jurget it
r
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