ThE HESPERIAN SUDENT.
DRTFT.
There is one thing sadly lacking in our University
We refer to the want of interest taken in college songs
and singing. There is nothing which an old student
coming back to visit his Alma Mater "alter many years,"
hears with so much pleasure and emotion as "the old
songs that the boys used to sing." How many long for
gotten memories awaken into youth when the responsive
chords of the heart arc swept by the old-time associations.
Around a song may cluster the happiest, best and holiest
recollections of a life-time. The care-worn man who
returns to N S U. and goes back in thought to the time
when he was an active worker in the college world, will
not remember any distinctive song by which to make
real the dreams of the past. As a matter of duty to our
selves, to posterity, we should not fail to enliven the lan
guishing spirit of music that dwells iw our midst. Some
body strike up a song, please."
A Prep crawled through the transom while we were
gone to dinner and leit the following conundrum on the
hook; "Why is a No. 10 gum-overshoe like a pastcr
cast of Julius Caesar? Because neither can talk through
the telephone." We are laying for that Prep.
In the spring-time the thoughts of students turn to
wards jokes and midnight escapades. The dignified, but
withal.human 6cnior hums over to himself,
"Backward, trim backward, Oh t Tlmo in your flight 1
Make me a Sophomore, Just for to-night.
Wisdom, blgh-fetandlng restrains mo; Alas I
Would that I were not held down by my class 1"
If contempt for evil-minded tricks did not grow with
the capacity for invention and execution, the senior clas3
of any college would be a terror to civilization and a
"barrier to Progress."
Conversation between the "Supcs."
"Why did Desdemona kill Othello?"
"Because he was mashed on Emilia and she was
jealous of him."
" But Emilia was a man."
"O yes: so he was. But wasn't it good when Emilia
ran out and cut Iago's leg?"
Yes, you bet! That was immense."
Faulk.
A Crow, One Night, went to the Rollci-Rink. He
hired the Last Pair of Skates to be Had and went out
upon the Flor. Soon a Fox CHtne in and tried to get
some Skates but failed. But in nothing Dismayed, he
approached the Crow and said: "now Beautifully you
skate 1 I have never before witnessed such Grace and
Ease and Rapidity." Then, puffed.up by the- Flattery, the
Foolish Crow essayed a Toe-Spin; and they carried him
out Twelve Baskets full. But the crafty Fox secured
the Skates and enjoyed himself till the Hour of Closing
This Fable teaches the Folly of Fancy Skating.
At the euchre party.
"What's a club?"
"I pass."
"Make it next."
In class-room, next morning.
"What's a Rhizopod?"
"Not prepared."
"Next I"
Striking similarity.
High.
High-toned; the chapel choir,
riigh-brcd; at 15 cents a loaf.
High.grade; a hoary-headed sixfootcr.
Hymeneal ; an altitudinous hash-slinger.
High-tragedy; murder on Pike's Peak.
High-art; painting the roof.
High treason the University campus.
Hymen; Goliath and Cinng, the Chinese giant.
Dying Woiids.
"The air is rather close." Desdemona.
"Drinking will cause my death." Socrates.
"I am choked by a sine." Mathcw Maties.
"I shall not lie in the grave." Ananias.
"I i-m not well-heeled." Achilles.
"Mv talc must ever bo ununown." The Missing Link.'
Stout op a Lie.
ThcN . S. U. champion prevaricator held an impromptu
contest in equivocation with the Doauc College liar and
was downed. The history of the sad affair is interesting
It was on the train thai was carrying the contestants to
their native villages and the time was about half-past
three A. M. The Lincoln liar rushed into the smokiug-ca1
and aroused the Crete athlete who was sweetly slumber
ing oa the soft side of another fellow's grip-sack.
"Say, wake up! Frightful accident this evening down
near Lincoln! Two students of the University "killed! City
in mourning!"
"Ah-h-h what is it? What d'ycr want?" was the
sleepy response.
"There's been a terrible holocaust on the Nebraska City
railway! You know how like lightening the trains run
on that road; this evening two of the most promising
young men of the state, Sophomores in the University
gt on the train to make their first trip as travelling agents
for St. Jacob's Oil the Great German Remedy "
"Well, what was "the ni-.kct?"
"You see, they looked out of the windows and saw tlte
while mile posts flying by and, very naturally, they mis
took them for a long stretch of tight board fence and tried
to swing off the car to put up a few bills advertising the
Great German Remedy. Of course they were instantly
hurled into eternity and have not been seen since."
"Great Heavens I what au awful affair! It reminds me
of a story. Some years ago a friend of mine was editor
on a college paper over in Iowa. The paper' was out of
debt aud "
"You need not go any further witli that story," said the
N. S. U. liar. "That's the most atrocious falsehood in
existence. Take the belt, it's yours." 'Twas evor thus.
A Warning to tub Boys.
"I wonder who deposited that bananna peel in the path
of my wandering footsteps?,, said Osric Smith, in amus
ing tone as ho circled down tho massive, winding,
0aken stair-case on his shell-like car.
Upon the tcssalated mosaic of the hall below stood
Mabel McCafferty. Sho laughed with tha fiendish laugh
of a laughing fiend that is, she laughed flood ishly ag
the flyiug form of the fated Osric shot into her field of
vision.
The spark of life left not his manly bosom until ho had
telephoned a parting word of advice to his darling broth,
er who was running a skating rink in Omaha. That
word was what is now revealed to all.
