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About Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885 | View Entire Issue (March 14, 1885)
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THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
lie shall iicir from mo.
I will kill him. I will torture liim. I will lynch hinv
I will ngonizi him. I will crucify him.
You but I will.
When David's mint saw her grass-pint invaded she wns
always petrified willi wrnth. Fortunately she never so
far lopthcr equanimity as 10 omit the immortal warning
"Jnnoi! Donkeys!" Wo often feel tlio want of n Jane1
10 drive the donkeys from our chei ished preserves. Douk
eys are so abundant and they so ruthlessly prance through
the choicest places, that such u wish is not unreasonable.
Thcie is thcccnccilcd donkey who continually feels him
self above the rest of mankind. He does not scruple to
run over those sensitive unfoituuatcs who nro too good
natured to dilve him away. Ho is patronizing; he is arro
gant; ho lacks even common donkey-sensc. There is
tho "cheeky" donkey. He prides himself upon an over
plus of disregard for mankind. He is never disconcert
ed and rebuffs have no effect upon tho triple brrss plate
lnidovorhis feelings and intelligence. Hcwill force himso'j
anywhere, sometimes for no other reason than to exhibit
Ills inpeuetrablo lack of decency. There is tho cynical
donkey. Listen to his conversation. Watch the pleasant
smile that plays around the corncra of his mouth. Nota
his sarcastic bearing towards the world in general. Is
lio not an agreeable fellow? And so on ad infinitum. My
friends, wo are all donkeys. We should all be driven off
when wo intrude our own particular donkeyishnoss upon
our fellow-donkeyn. Caa wo not, each one of u, recall
Some lime when we unpardonahly inflicted our own idoas,
our own individual peculiarities, upon nn unwilling vic
tim who, happily for us, but unhappily for public decen.
cy lacked the resolution to order us off tlie premises?
The DlUFTETt pleads guilty to the charge, who is tl.enext
honest man- or donkey that dares confess it?
Walk .'own town with your friend, the Diufteu. Wo
shall nodoubr, spcsomothingihnt will interest ai.d amuso
us. Is there anything special going on, yon ask? Oh no!
But humaji mil tiro is as full or quaint oddities r.s ever.
Let us note tho passcra-hy. Every man, you know, is a
character. Here comes Alpllonse Do Langtry. You have
met him. His deluded father thought ho might profit
by a course at tho University. lie lias gono to cxpenso
in sending Alphonso to Lincoln, Tho young man is lav
ishing his cntiro timo upon tho roller-rink. No not quite
his whole lime. Ho tpends an hour a week iu writing
letters to the old folks, no fills every epistlo full of
Latin and French quotations, copied from tho last page
of Webster's Unabridged. Tho old folks arc being bam
boozled by their young hopeful.
Look across tho etreot. You see that dishevelled,
gloomy, careworn, near sighted individual. Another
University student. Ho is tho pet of all tho professors.
Poor fellow! Ho docs not riso nbovo his books and stud
Jcb. When asked to join the literary societies he said ho
"had no timo." Health and mental vigor must give way
under tho strain. What a pity that men cannot strike tho
golden mean. There is a middle course between follow
ing the vocation or a dude and that of a dig. Shouldn't
bo surprised nt all to her some morning.that our studU
ous friend over there was dowu with brain-fever.
That girl is trying to flirt with yon I Fee. Do you
know what she entered college- for? I do, and I don't
mind telling you. She is gelling along in years and stilt
remains in single blessedness. In tho University there
arc a goodly number of eligible young men. There arc
Friday nights and receptions and class meeting and every
other kind of meetings. There are, in short, both mater
ial and opportunities for foiming tho matrimonial co
partnership. She is a wise girl. I'm glad, however,,
that there are few likelier.
Ard there is why! must you go? Well, good uftcr
noon. I'll see you again.
Oysters for the bund.
Examinations arc at hand. Prepare your "ponies."
Beware of Mic now Bus. Man. Pay up or "lie low."
Latest styles in nec!;-wcar, collars, and cuff at Evving
Lcg'rlaturo has adjourned and the University is $IG0,
Tho Hesperian has had Its back broken. Foreo has-'
resigned. The editors were too much for him.
Tho agony of an oratorical contest is almost upon us
Ye angels or mercy luok down with pitying glances unonT
Tho legislature has adjourned and the students who
wero serving the stale iu the capocity of clerks etc. hav
returned to their classes.
It makes tho eyes of the professor of chemistry spark
lo when ho speaks of the new building. Ho says we are to
have the finest laboratory in tho west.
Squire Mockctt's check is undiminished. It is even in
creased. He can now stand aud dun a man for two
hours without the least twinge of conscience. '
If any of the University girls are desirous or taking less
ons in tho game ofdrop the handkerchief" they should
call upon E. It. Wiggenhorn. He is an adept at tho game.
H. T. Coulee, an old timo student, is with us agate
after an absence of a year. Mr. Coulee is one of our
strongest students and wo are glud to welcome him back.
It is now confidently afflrmod that Will O. Jones'
moustache will nctually make its appearance on tho 10th
of March next. It will not bo visible to tho uakl eyo how
Prorcssor Hicks inspected the schools of Gibbon last
week with a view of grading them to tho Freshman
clasa of the University. While there ho delivered his
lecture On my pilgrimage to the birth plucc ol Hush.
Wo are pained to learn that Mr. Howe was caught in tho
net or filching a House Roll from the Snnto, tho last
night o( its session. This Is especially bad for Mr. How
as ho has been considered ono of our most sturdy advo
cates of justice and propriety.
Tho Union society has elected iho following class for
the Juno exhibition. Orations, Miss Nora Qago andW
F.Wiggins; Reeitation, Miss Rheta Childc; Original,
poem, Miss Atrium Painter; Etiology; E. 0. Wiggeuhorui
Debate, S. D. Killeu and H. T. Coulee.