Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885 | View Entire Issue (March 14, 1885)
THE HESPERIAN STUDENT. lie shall iicir from mo. I will kill him. I will torture liim. I will lynch hinv I will ngonizi him. I will crucify him. You but I will. "Janet! Dokkeys!" When David's mint saw her grass-pint invaded she wns always petrified willi wrnth. Fortunately she never so far lopthcr equanimity as 10 omit the immortal warning "Jnnoi! Donkeys!" Wo often feel tlio want of n Jane1 10 drive the donkeys from our chei ished preserves. Douk eys are so abundant and they so ruthlessly prance through the choicest places, that such u wish is not unreasonable. Thcie is thcccnccilcd donkey who continually feels him self above the rest of mankind. He does not scruple to run over those sensitive unfoituuatcs who nro too good natured to dilve him away. Ho is patronizing; he is arro gant; ho lacks even common donkey-sensc. There is tho "cheeky" donkey. He prides himself upon an over plus of disregard for mankind. He is never disconcert ed and rebuffs have no effect upon tho triple brrss plate lnidovorhis feelings and intelligence. Hcwill force himso'j anywhere, sometimes for no other reason than to exhibit Ills inpeuetrablo lack of decency. There is tho cynical donkey. Listen to his conversation. Watch the pleasant smile that plays around the corncra of his mouth. Nota his sarcastic bearing towards the world in general. Is lio not an agreeable fellow? And so on ad infinitum. My friends, wo are all donkeys. We should all be driven off when wo intrude our own particular donkeyishnoss upon our fellow-donkeyn. Caa wo not, each one of u, recall Some lime when we unpardonahly inflicted our own idoas, our own individual peculiarities, upon nn unwilling vic tim who, happily for us, but unhappily for public decen. cy lacked the resolution to order us off tlie premises? The DlUFTETt pleads guilty to the charge, who is tl.enext honest man- or donkey that dares confess it? Walk .'own town with your friend, the Diufteu. Wo shall nodoubr, spcsomothingihnt will interest ai.d amuso us. Is there anything special going on, yon ask? Oh no! But humaji mil tiro is as full or quaint oddities r.s ever. Let us note tho passcra-hy. Every man, you know, is a character. Here comes Alpllonse Do Langtry. You have met him. His deluded father thought ho might profit by a course at tho University. lie lias gono to cxpenso in sending Alphonso to Lincoln, Tho young man is lav ishing his cntiro timo upon tho roller-rink. No not quite his whole lime. Ho tpends an hour a week iu writing letters to the old folks, no fills every epistlo full of Latin and French quotations, copied from tho last page of Webster's Unabridged. Tho old folks arc being bam boozled by their young hopeful. Look across tho etreot. You see that dishevelled, gloomy, careworn, near sighted individual. Another University student. Ho is tho pet of all tho professors. Poor fellow! Ho docs not riso nbovo his books and stud Jcb. When asked to join the literary societies he said ho "had no timo." Health and mental vigor must give way under tho strain. What a pity that men cannot strike tho golden mean. There is a middle course between follow ing the vocation or a dude and that of a dig. Shouldn't bo surprised nt all to her some morning.that our studU ous friend over there was dowu with brain-fever. That girl is trying to flirt with yon I Fee. Do you know what she entered college- for? I do, and I don't mind telling you. She is gelling along in years and stilt remains in single blessedness. In tho University there arc a goodly number of eligible young men. There arc Friday nights and receptions and class meeting and every other kind of meetings. There are, in short, both mater ial and opportunities for foiming tho matrimonial co partnership. She is a wise girl. I'm glad, however,, that there are few likelier. Ard there is why! must you go? Well, good uftcr noon. I'll see you again. gnmyus (fetinnrds. Oysters for the bund. Examinations arc at hand. Prepare your "ponies." Beware of Mic now Bus. Man. Pay up or "lie low." Latest styles in nec!;-wcar, collars, and cuff at Evving & Go's. Lcg'rlaturo has adjourned and the University is $IG0, 500 ahead. Tho Hesperian has had Its back broken. Foreo has-' resigned. The editors were too much for him. Tho agony of an oratorical contest is almost upon us Ye angels or mercy luok down with pitying glances unonT our suffering. Tho legislature has adjourned and the students who wero serving the stale iu the capocity of clerks etc. hav returned to their classes. It makes tho eyes of the professor of chemistry spark lo when ho speaks of the new building. Ho says we are to have the finest laboratory in tho west. Squire Mockctt's check is undiminished. It is even in creased. He can now stand aud dun a man for two hours without the least twinge of conscience. ' If any of the University girls are desirous or taking less ons in tho game ofdrop the handkerchief" they should call upon E. It. Wiggenhorn. He is an adept at tho game. H. T. Coulee, an old timo student, is with us agate after an absence of a year. Mr. Coulee is one of our strongest students and wo are glud to welcome him back. It is now confidently afflrmod that Will O. Jones' moustache will nctually make its appearance on tho 10th of March next. It will not bo visible to tho uakl eyo how ever. , Prorcssor Hicks inspected the schools of Gibbon last week with a view of grading them to tho Freshman clasa of the University. While there ho delivered his lecture On my pilgrimage to the birth plucc ol Hush. Miller. a Wo are pained to learn that Mr. Howe was caught in tho net or filching a House Roll from the Snnto, tho last night o( its session. This Is especially bad for Mr. How as ho has been considered ono of our most sturdy advo cates of justice and propriety. Tho Union society has elected iho following class for the Juno exhibition. Orations, Miss Nora Qago andW F.Wiggins; Reeitation, Miss Rheta Childc; Original, poem, Miss Atrium Painter; Etiology; E. 0. Wiggeuhorui Debate, S. D. Killeu and H. T. Coulee.
