THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
'
"O Demosthenes"! said he, "how wonderfully does wis
dora rc8emblcil3 opposite-thnt which men cnll ignor
ance in tli at it can not be distinguished from the other,
except by those well versed in human nature. Tell me
then, O Demosthenes! have you never listened to the el
oquent styings which on every Friday come from tne
chapel across the hall ?"
"By Zeus! Socrates, even bo often is my long forgotten
dust tossed in a whirlwind of agony. The bursts of or
atory that strike my tony enrs cause mv spirit to writhe
in an ecstasy of jealousy and dismay".
"Which then, does this oratory seem to you, wisdom or
ignorance?"
"Most assuredly it is the greatest possible wisdom."
"Well now answer mc this, have you ever attended the
Legislature of Nebraska?"
"In truth I have suffered that misfortune."
"And have you not heard the Butler Co. delegation
discuss the State University?"
"Yw;many wise thoughts have the Butler members
given in my presence."
"Did this appear to you to he wisdom or ignorance?"
"Without doubt the utmost depths of ignorance."
"But, by the gods! this is not possible; for how can a
college student possess more wisdom than a member
from Butler?"
"I am unable to answer. How then, Socrates, shall we
escape this absurdity ?"
"Indeed, Demosthenes there is but one way. Let us put
to death all the students for, when dead, they will know
nothing whatever and, of course, cannot be more intelli
gent than a member from Bnller. Thus alone can the
facts bojeconciied to the argument."
"By Apvo! The plan is an excellent one. Let us
Make a beginning on this slum'crer here."
But the DniFTBR awoko and lied.
Form EriTArns.
"Deep wisdom swelled head
Brata-forer he's dead
A Senior."
"False, fair one -- hope fled
Heart-broken he's dead
A Junior."
"Went skatlag 'tis said
Kloorblt him he's dead
A. fcoph'iuore."
"Mllk-fatninc not fed
Starvation he's dead
A Freshman"
Wanted.
Borne interest to be taken in college songs andsinginir
More warm weather in chnpel.
Less plaster on the mattings and more on the ceiling
A scheme by which the Stcdent can pay off its de '
A triple gross of large sized cuspadores for the medical
lecture room.
An enterprising syndicate of upper classmen who are
trilling to publish Vol.JII of "Sombrero."
A big subscription list tor the HEapKnuN.
A large senior class.
Good singing in chnpel.
A girl who can't endure tho sight of an oyster.
The University bills to pass tho legislature.
.Nineteen able bodied darkies to mop out the Editor's.
sanctum.
Money, brains, more money and more brains.
"To spout or not to spout; ay there's the rub". This
line from Milton's raastcrpieco is suggested to tlto Drift
er by the awakening of interest among our students, in
the Inter-8tate Oratorical Association. Our cup of sorrow
is pretty full. Perhaps we can stand tltc oratorical bus
iness. It's all a sham any way. In the first place oratory
gives no idea of tlie work being done in an institution.
The wretched little one-horse colleges often produce "in -faut
phenomenons" that far outshine tho test men or
more solid places of learning. The way iu which an ora
torical contest turns is no index of the relative merits of
rival colleges. That is evident.
What of the individual orators? Do "the shining lights"
at their great contests ever illuminate anything with
the brilliancy? Never except upon tho contest stage.
They are "brilliant and brittle". Tliwe may bo except
ions to this rule. They serve to prove it.
Oratory takes time from the legitimate work of a college
course. It offers nothing save tho self-satisfaction
dependent on success in "dazzling the public". Oratory
is nn nnchronism. Give us les of it.
gampus (fiatjards.
Valentines, now many d'd you gel?
Have you heard the latest on Churchill?
What is becoming of the martar-boards?
The skating rink must go. The faculty is about to sit
down upon it.
A. W. Field maksas good a Speaker of the House as
Nebraska ever saw.
Autograph albums are agaiu loose. "Angels and the
ministers of grace defend us."
Come, Mallory, set up the oysters and wc won't say
anything about thnt trip to L street.
Ground Hog's day has come and gone and we are
doomed to six weeks more winter. Ugh J
The new Bus., Man. J. R. Force is afflicting iheunfor.
tuuates of the school. Ik- can be bought off at a cheap
rate however,
The jovial W. G. Keim has been visiting his old haunts
and blinking hands with his many friends. Every one is
glad to see Keim.
W.T. Jackson dropped iu upon us a few days aince
but before we could ask him where ho had been and what
he had been doing, he was gone
It is agreeable to have members or the legislature visit
us, but Isn't it cruel, to take them in to a chapel whoso
temperature is 15 degrees below zero?
No more dodging essays, Prof. Sherman has Issued a
printed invitation to each student in the Freshman and
Sophomore classes to meet him on certain day and hour
No forgetting now.