6
THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
Infant Phenomenon : Grnnllug your proposition that
tho Olssoid of Dlogcnca is oquivnlont to mi equiangular
parabola, wo cunnot seo how it will assist you in calcula
ting tho .-'cscent of man on an Inclined plane, either as lo
velocity or time. Perhaps you may have omitted by
inl8ltko nn hundred or two pages of your ingenious dis
cussion that was sent us for examination.
Gwendoline: Wo cannot udviso you. Such affairs
should be of too private and sacred a chnrncter lo appear
in the public press. Try moral suasion and if he still re
fuses to understandjyour hints about the ice-cream season
having opened, then perhaps you had better part.
Busted: Yes, thank Heaven! the oyster season is prac
tically at an end. If you desire to join us in ihe Doxol
ogy, call at the office any evening and you will rest as
sured of no austere welcome on our part.
Ink. Wisative: If you ever dare to ask us again
whether our last month's wash bill is paid, your blood
will be on your own head and also on our club. A word,
etc.
Am.vAWNSO: You certainly showed a great luck of
good sense. Even if the fire was near her residence you
hod no right 10 spend forty minutes hi curling your back
hair before ambling over to the scene of action. As you
ought to understand, there nro times when many of the
conventionalities of etlquetto arc temporarily suspended"
This was certainly one of them.
Batujauian: No; you don't have to Join a fraternity
unless you want to. What in blank makes you ask us so
often for, nnywny ? This is the seventeenth time in two
week?. Nobody wauls to interfere with your personal
liberty. You ought to know that without inquiring.
LiMiiimoEn: Look out for yourself. We have seven
detectives and a Union girl hunting for you. Neverthe
less the conundrum Is worth publishing. "Why is oue of
tho evening papers like the first issue of the new nickk-?''
Give it up. "Because it has no cents." Hanging is too
good tor you.
ams &ninr(te.
Tho Bophomoro class In elementary French has com
pleted the primer and slxtocn lessons of grammar thus
far this year.
The Uiuon slate, which was badly rrnctured ef few
weeks ago, has beon repaired. The ccmont used Is
called ice cream.
Miss Edith Doolittle, '80, goes to Bolton in a fow
weeks to spend a year in study ot tho New England'
Conservatory of Music.
A number of poverty stricken students will spend tho
summer in trading self respect lor cheek. In other
wordy, they will canvass.
Some rank protectionists who have been sending to
Europe for books, and have had to pay n heavy duty on
them, begin to waver in tho faith.
Ti is thu proper tiling for students lo remain quiet nnd
attentive during chapel exercises, of course, but is not
the faculty under the same obligation?
II. T. Conloy, 11 member ol '80 who fell from grace to
become a tree-peddler, was airing his horticultural
hyperbole around the building last week.
Six of our enterprising boys are canvassing for plcturos
and report flue lluc.cess, some making $100.00 per week.
Printed catalogues of our library are needed.
Damon Lille has resumed his University work.
The faculty is already struggling with the new cnta
logue.
Eight more weeks and the college year of '83-4 will be
a memory.
II. E. Shotwell will spend the coming year onji home,
stead among Ihe aborigines.
Smith's dictionary of antiquities is the hardest worked
book in the library at present.
W. E. Cunningham has given up his studies ur.d gone
to western Nebraska in search of wealth.
"We Go It Alone." The gentlemen should see that
this motto is adhered lo for a year at last.
The clnif.el choir commenced Ihe term in a very fa
tigued condition. It is slowly recovering.
Mr. Geo. Jennings, of Falls City, was u visitor among
members ot the Hebi-ewan staff last week.
The reghtrntion for drill litis term numbers seventy,
five, but of llifpe a large per cent have been excused.
Six others have engaged to begin in a few weeks.
Prof. H. H. Nicholson has removed his family to Beat
rice, in order that he may have a Saturday and Sunday
haven, free from the horrors of our Bus. Man's trombone.
The delicacv knovn as "stiff soup" is now on draught
in the basement. Member of the physiology classes will
be required to samp' 0 it before passing their exnuilna
'tions. The Conservatory ol ,Music is enjoying a fair degreo
of prosperity at prenent. Tho number of pupils ts'seven
n larger number than usual under tho present manage
ment. C. E. Verity was installed as temporary editor of the
Rising City Independent two weeks ago, anil up to date
has not been able to free hinnol I' from the duties of tho
position.
The mandate has gone forth Unit essays must be "nmile
up" before the 21st of May. All delinquent: wlil be
punished with inferior classification in the firth coming
catalogue.
The chancellor has recommended that students use
printed University stationery as much as possible. It
costs but little and is of groat benefit in advertising our
institution.
S. D. Killen,ofthc firm of Johnson fc Klljcn, wholes
sale dealers In veracity, has gone homo to remain until
September. He lmi already been evolved Into a "sure
enough" agriculturist.
B. W. Marsh, well known to students of 0110 and two
years ago, was a caller at the intellectual fountain-head
of the slate, a few days ugo. Ho is prospering as a dis
penser of hardware at Minden .
Tho Sophomore class is officered this term us follows.
President, Miss Laura Roberts; Vice President, Miss
Allie Lantx; Secy., Miss Dell Stratum; Scribe, Miss Cora
Fisher. The result would seem to indicate that thcyonng
ladies controlled the election, but it was caused by noth
ing more serious limn the gallantry of the gentlemen.
(
Jl
WBSSb.