6
THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
buck in the misty past, at present writing, that nil of us
who enjoy a good quarrel with "brickbats at three-quarters
of ii mile" are beginning to feel as if the palmy days
of jealousy aim hatred had indeed departed never to
return. Now this id wrong. There is no reason why
the two societies should not ascend upon the Tory top ol
their respective pinacles of self-conceit and revile each oth
er across the abyss between. Let's hove war. When there
is a SruDENT election, why can't wo have some genuine
enthusiasm? Anything is better than stagnation. We
thirst for blood and would bo glad of almost any method
by which we could inspire a measure ot interest in the
Hesperian.
Oil I why will the members of the literary societies
mix metaphors so fearfully. One can not listen to a pro
gramme without having his breath suspouded for a mo
ment by some atrocious figure of speach. Tne students
seem to give loose rein to the ships of imagination and as
the wind curries them gaily over the broad meadows of
plain simple Anglo-Saxon, the black flag of mixed metn
phor is suddenly displayed on the top-most tower and
the audience sinks in n tornado of laughter. The critic
then arises and casts a gloom over every one witli the
thunderbolts of his sarcasm. Then we depart feeling
Unit there is large room for improvement in many would
bo "eagle orators."
The great lack of this institution is some distinctive
college songs. If a little more, interest was taken by the
boys in sinking and if a glee club wore formed and kept
up we think that one "home industry would bo developed"
and that N. 8. U. could boast of as fine a collection of
songs as any oilier college in the land. If the interest can
be procured the songs will not be long in making their
appearance. Let the boys give this matter their attention
because it is really worthy of it. v-
Spring is at 'hand. I could s-iy a great many very poet,
ical things about the returning birds, the trees clad in
fresh mantle of emerald, the flowers peeping up from .the
loosened soil and all that sort of thing, if I wanted to.
It is, however, a little trite and a bit deceptive lo couple
these startling phenomena with the nnme of spring. Not
that I mean to say that they do not really take place, but
simply that they are not the main and obtrusive features
of a Nebraska spring. The real circumstances that attend
spring in this part of the footstool are mud, more mud
and most mud. The latter is on the whole seen more fre
quently than either of the other two. All arc not in tiic leas
backward in sho.ving themselves to public gaze. When
we luink of carrying the books of three girls across the
university campus, when the walks are not walks but
quicksands, and when a misstep means instant destruc
tion well we resolve on the whole not to carry them.
We'll let "our Junior gent" monopolize that business
Tt'a dangerous.
transom before the professor unlocks the door. He hates
to have his privacy disturbod and you should cultivate
patience anyway. Refrain from all those and flunk with
a clean conscience.
nmpit8 jfautxrite.
A word to the Preps. My dear Preppies; examinations
arc upon us. Tl ere don't weep so bard. Some one will
hear you. Now don't wear cuffs to your examinations.
Thcro are two reasons. First it is wrong, and second, if
it ii not really wrong it is suspicious. Don't come into
the room and rush wildly for the back scut. That is also
suspicious. Above all don't climb up and look over the
The Eclectics plucked their, valedictorian.
Anna M. Saunders will be absent from her classes dur
ing the spring term.
The Baud lias been remembered by the Regents to the
extent of.flfty dollars. This is a comfortable "boost" and
a merited one.
J. R. Force will not be seen around this house of cor.
rcction for some months. Ho is managing a lumber
yard at Castor.
Miss Liska Btillman, one of the young ladies who last
year enlivened the class meetings of '80, has resumed her
University work.
The little job office that is at present acting in the
capacity of tail to the Student is crowded with business
and giving excellent satisfaction.
The Palladian class for the June exhibition is as
follows: essayist, C. S. Allen; orators, Miss Cora Fisher
uud C..6. Polk; debaters, P. F. Clark and J. J. Halligan;
for.recitation, Miss Clevo Lamb.
Tho Union society has selected the following 'class for
the commencement exhibition: essays, Miss Norn Gage
and Miss Kathleen Hcarn ; orations Miss Sopha Myers
and E. J. Churchill ; debate, A. A. Muuroe and J". H.
Holmes; recitation, Miss Liska.Stillman.
The Union society will be officered during tho coming
term as follows: Pres., G. W. Botsford; VlcePres., Anna
Aldrlch ; Secretary, Dell Stratum ; Asst. Secretary. 0. G.
McMillan ; Treas., R. S. Mockett; Critic, E. J. Churchill;
Seargents-at-arms, Roy Codding and Miss Lulu Miller.
A certain Medic who is taking chemistry, occasionally
astonishes his classmates bv original experiment!. A
short time ago lie dissolved a silver quarter in nitric acid,
filtered the solution and throw it awiy, then took the
filtering paper to the Prof, with tho complaint that he
"couldn't find no silber dar. "
The Q street bachelors recently purchased a can of
potted ham which did not provo entirely first-class.
Afterjin iccfTectual wrestle with bristles mid cartilage
they returned this package to the dealer with the remark
that they wauted ham properly prepared a hog driven
into a can and sealed up wouldn't fill the bill. (Joko.)
Some of the students who industriously aided Talmagc
in his "big blunders" to tho detriment of their class work
console themselves with the reflection that artistic bill,
posting requires as much intellect us passing an examin
ation in Greek. But Joking aside, tho exporience gained
by the young men who managed this lecture io as valua
ble as the booklore absorbed by their class-mates.
The last issuo of this humblo sheet was deplorably
late. No apology will be given, however, for aside from
a little unavoidable, delay in tho press room, tho fault
was almest wholly that of the manipulator of this depart
ment. Work in other fields called him r,;vay and instead
of excommunicating him the managing editor kindly
held the paper until his return.
ggp
4
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