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THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
Wanted: By tho organist or tho University chapel a
cheap boy to pull up tho organ koys. Y. M. 0. A. boy
preferred.
Tho cadot band boys wish to know why It is that when,
ever thoy serenado auy ouo tho occupants of tho Iiouscb
In tha vicinity always closo their windows so tightly
Don't faint! Tho Unions liavo got Tup something tmo:
a roll call in chapol. Whilo wo admiro thoir Ingenolty
wo dislike to sec that hour used for such n Isacrillgous
purpose. However wo don't want to put a straw in their
way to famo and will cheerfully waivo all our objections.
Tho following aro the officers of tho Union society for
tho winter torm. President, E.J. Robinson; Vico Pres
ident, Dell.E. Stratton; Secretary, E. J. Churchill ; Assls.
tant seretary, Allio Lantz ; Treasurer, J, O Breech ; Scr-gcant-at-armB,
0. A. Canaday; Assistant Scrgcanj-at-arms,
Boy Codding.
Thoy say Johnaon, our local editor, has tried Dr.
Thomas' ouggestion, viz. standing on Itis head. Tho
flow of brains was absolutely incrcdiblo, his cranium ex
panded four-fold in a single second. It took thrco his
tory themes, Wheeler's Trigonometry and Olney's High
er Algebra to reduce him to his normal state. The fac
ulty have forbidon it second experiment.
Tho merry, joyous Christmas tldo
Now waltzoth Into yIow.
Its sports hath long tho studonts spied,
For it tho monoy flow.
What cood It brings Into tho earth
Is moro than I can sec.
Men think thoy got their money's worth;
With that you can't stuff mo.
At a special election of tho Palladian society, held in
thoir hall Thursday afternoon tholfollowing officers were
elected for tho coming term. Pros., It. L. Marsh; Vice
Pros., S. Glen Talbot; Sec, VV. E. Johnson; Trcas., 0. S.
Polk; Cor. Sec, Surah Daley; Sargant.aUrms, A Q.
Warner. Tho society is in excellent working, condition
now and we can do no better than wish thom thoir usual
SUCCC83.
Wo aro informed on reliable authority that a Sopho
omore is writing a novel founded on actual oxperienco af.
the manner of Gastho's "Sorrows of Werter." As tho au
tuor's most private feelings aro involved ho wishes to re
main incognito. For depth of pathos it is unrivaled, no
man can read more than a page at a tlmo without the
application of heartshorn and a quart of brandy, it would
wring tears from a chimpanzee.
During tho past term two hundred and fifty-four stu.
dents have been in attendance in the college of Literature
and Science and tho Arts, and over forty in the medical
college. We believe tho state is beginning to appicciato
tho worth of tho school. Tho prospects for tho future uro
bright and all can bo realized if the citizens of tho state
tako half as much interest in tho future welfare of the
country as thoy do in the prescntfpoiitical condition.
The Freshmen have moro enthusiasm than over and
showed it at their meeting at Luko Cheney's last Thurs
day evening. After doing ample justice to themselves
by way of games and In the ample ropast spread for
them, thoy put on thoir long faces in executive session
and elected tho followiug offiiccrs for tho ensuing term.
Presidont, W. A. Baldwin ; Vice President, Miss Loigh
ton ; Treasurer, A. E. Anderson; Secretary, Frank Wheel.
or, Historian, Miss Latta; Slato Boarcr, Miss Talbot.
Hurrah for '871
Lieutenant Wobster,'our old commandant, mado Lla
coin a flying visit Wcdnosday and Thursday, on his way
from California to tako cliargo of a torpodo school about
to bo established In Now York. Tho cadot band showed
their appreciation of him byjtrcatlng him to a serenade at
tho Commercial Hotel about ten o'clock Wednesday oven
Ing. Thrco persons replied to tho call thinking It for
thom: the Lieut, for whom It was intended, John L. Sulll
van and a beautiful blushing bride. John sent down his
autograph, tho brldo appeared on the balcony and gave
tho boys a stunning smilo and the intended recipient
camo down and hsld a little reunion with tno boys. Sue
cess to him In his now departure.
A grand banquet will bo given by tho medical depart
ment, on tho 25th. The following will bo tho program.
BILL OF FARE.
HOTEL OADAVFR 0HRISTMAS3 1883.
SOUP.
Coccygeal, Bacterial.
FISH.
Soleus, DorsaUvertcbrte.
BOILED.
Fibro cartilages witli areolarcclls.
Kidney wttli urotor, Terminal phalanx,
Small articular surfaces, Eplpthysis witli synovia.
ROAST.
Small Intestines Ala Peristalsis,
Loft Too, Congested Brain,
Left Ear Ala Friccasec, Foatal Lung with Tuborclo.
ENTREES.
Ribs of mall Kid Umbilical Dressing,
GinglynniB Joints with Calves Foot Jelly.
yeoetabi.es.
Y Ligaments Small Arteries,
Cranial Sutures, Small Nee roais,
Pectoucal Lines, Spinous Processes
RELISHES.
Pickled Malleolus. Spiced Tongue,
Pickled Medulla with Vagus Atachmcnts.
PASTRY.
Aponeurosis pie, Tympanic pic.
Assorted Cake?
DESSERT.
Peripheries with Lacteal Fluid,
Calliatcd Epithelium, CupilaricsAla Russb.
FRUIT.
Assorted Foramina, Small Sesamoid Bonos,
Triangular Froutanelles.
BEVERAGES.
Liquor Amnii on Ice, Succus Etcricus served hot,
Ohrage D' Affairs S. B. Leston.
Head Waiter M. H. Farmer.
Sub waiters Drs.(?) Chas. Shoemaker, T. H. Johnson,
Jesso Cambello, W. B. Buck, D. E. Buckner, O. (E. Mul-vano.
Grand Bouncer Dr.(!) Chas. Trumble.
Assistant Grand Bouncer and Door Keeper, E. D.
Thurston (allias) Jumbo.
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