:HP';r.;
THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
It may not bo generally known but etc. our Prcali local
has just shipped his lust week's bcnrtl to Gcrmnnv to bo
subatituted for diamond dust in polishing precious
stones.
Tlio O. N. 0. Club bids fair to ouldo the University
gymnasium. One of its members experimenting on im.
penetrability with his lady partner broke tho crystal of
his watch.
8omo of tho students arc again claiming "supc"riority
in knowledges of tliualrical matters. For gracefulness
town supes cannot compare with tho University artists
In n year or two wo ought to turn out quilo a number of
stars in this line.
The "handsomo chromo" crnzo has struck tho stago in
Us progress upward through the strata ol civilization. A
theatrical troupe lately here, advertised to give each audi,
tor a steel engraving of the star of tho troupe. Tho min
isters come next in order.
Tho students of a certain class in this school arc now
engaged in tho buslnsss of weighing souls. Tho way
Borne soles have succeeded in accelerating our motions
at certain delicate periods of our life convinces us that to
weigli them requires no especial skill.
Slowly and sadly our former venerated hash house is
Darwinizing into a Convent. Laloly it lias developed a
pscudo.wall in tlio sliapoof a ten foot board fence all
around. All it lacks now is a Father Confessor and a tin
angel to make tho metamorphosis complete.
Tho ladies aro begining to wear dog-collars with their
names written on them. II there bo any room left it
might bo well to add some touching verso:
I'm that fellow's dressed in blue.
O toll mo, please, whoso gal aro you?
There arc many things in this word of sin and misery
that makes one feel liko committing suicide. But the
question is, how can Holmes bear-iV under existing cir
cumstances. A littlo mouso was in our ofllco
Who had umicht to llvo on hutplo,
Tho oilier day hq ato too much
And fonrod to htuvuu on high.
A fight betweon two street urchins, which was scon
m tlio sanctum window, recalled our district school
life-to mind. Ah! those were happy times, when fights
were an every day alfalr, and examinations were un
known. There has been another downfall of plaster m tho
chapel. If something bo not done soon to doctor tho cf IN
ing tho Btudenls, some day, will be buried under on avas
lancho of plaster, and the professors would nojiiorc have
a "plaster" Implant their ideas.
Tho "Kinder" is Iho : amo of a new fraternity lately
established in this school. While at present but five be
long to it. yet judging from tlio conduct of many in tlio
library, chapel, recitation rooms and elsewhere, a largo
majority of the school might join with impunity.
At-last, there has been a secret society organized by
the ladies. Their bylaws are bended by tho following
letters: S. of G. II. Their meetings aro to bo held
monthly at Gaycty Hull : Where is t'ni' ? Tho member
who imormed us govo us uo more, further developments
will be noted.
Tho Chemistry class is said to have hold a banquot in
which tho health of tho faculty was drunk in hydrogen
sulphide. It was not a decided success. '
Tho literary editor wishes to state that ho is now pre
pared to treat all cases of Insanity vulgarly termed
"mashes." Cure Is warranted of all forms from a fifteen
year old puppy lovo up to an exaggerated case fanlically
bent on self-destruction. Has made tho subject ono of
profoundest research. Charges reasonable. Money re
funded if euro Is not effected.
At tho picnic Thursday evening an act of cheek, cqal
lcd by nothing over perotrated in the school, occurred.
A gentleman skilled on tho violin, with his fern, stepped
up to Ills follow violinist and requested him to play a
waltz. Tho violinist handed him tlio violin and walked
off with tlio other man's girl. Wo need not say that tho
cheeky fellow is a Juuior.
Tho remnant of students whe rusticated In Lincoln
during the Thanksgiving happiness held a picnic in tlio
Armory on Thanksgiving eve. About twenty fivo couple
contrived to make tho night melodious. Popcorn, ap
ples, candy, nuts, drop-tho-handkorohiof, talking and tlio
Terpsichorean art succeeded In driving away melancholy
until the professorial appointed hour of eleven when tho
Armory became as silent as tho metaphorical grave.
A now departure. Tho present senior class undoubt
edly confectionatos in all that is now and startling,
But it devolves upon ono of its members to surpass the
tho common herd and by sheer energy and hard labor
acquires a moustache and a wife in tlio same year. Wo
ars pleased to welcome E. 0. Lewis and his life comrade
into our midst, wishing tliom there full compliments of
happiness. On tlio eve of their arrival tho baud boys es
corted by a sufficiency of tlio non-professionals of tlio
school gave tho nowly married couple a sorcnado.
Lewis was kind enough to inform them that ho took
them for the city band and in a neat littlo spcach topped
off by an invitation to narlako of a repast substantial
enough to rostnro their lost mind For tlio 1. ttor and a
song by Mrs. L. wo extend our heart felt thanks. "So
moto it be."
SEEJVU P.X.-SUNDAY.
On steps
East aido,
Two couple
Woro spied.
Open window
Just ahovo,
Wero boys
Not In lovo.
Two buckets
Full of water,
Dropped down,
What a clatter.
Two couples
Kan away
And ono
Did say
Wo'ro hero I
Wro winning I
lla'll say,
Wo'ro swimming.