8
THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
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good deeds cnu easily be recognized. Long may they
wave.
It is astonishing how fast young institutions develop
especially when composed of tho right material and guid
cd by a right spirit. Our medicine- men astonished the
natives the other morning, by hurling to tho breeze their
now sign, "Cash for. Stiffs," painted in largo letters on
the front roof of the University. It could bo read a
half mile distant. Wo are glad to see such energy dis
played by our friends mid have no doubt but that the
supply will be ample. Our janitor, however, did not
propose to liavo these classic walls turned into a city
morgue and immediately resented the insolence of tho
medical faculty by deliberately painting it over with the
original color.
The Freshmen organized and adopted as a class motto,
"Esse qv.am videri," and wish it to bo distinctly under
stood that they are not to bo sneezed at. Their recent
meeting at Mrs. Eddy's was a fine success; and when the
time lor separating came every one felt that it was good
for us to be hero, even if we should flunk the next day as
a consequence. Quite late in the evening a low wail was
heard from tho back yard. Louder and louder it grew
till it resembled a cat convention in dog-days. A com
mittee soon discovered it to be the Sophomore class
groping about in the daikucss and calling for help. The
poor things were taken hi and warmed and then taken
homo. Such acts of philanthropywill some day make
tho class famous.
It is becoming notorious throughout the state that our
University is supplying the people with cheek equal to
tiie best. Our Platte Co. student, who wears burnsides,
stuck his head out of the car window, while coming to
tho city, in order to feast his eyes upon the rich corn
field, the broad prairie dotted with pleasant huts, and lake
in the broad expanse of the blue heavens etc., but was
just in time to take in tho Denver express, as it thundered
around a curve and pecked him in the face. People who
are not acquainted with our friend will be surprised to
hear that he was not bruised at all, but the luckless loco
motive is a hopeless wreck. This however prodigous is
not to be compared to the feet of our blonde book-agent
who was hit by a stray thunderbolt in front of his ear
which glanced off and killed a mule team forty rods
away.' These arc facts and we are prepared to furnish
the worst of- references.
A $20.00 BIBLE PRIZE.
'The publishers of Rutledge's Monlldy offer twelve vnlu
abfrTCwards in their Monthly for November, among
which is the following:
"We will give $20.00 to the pcr3on telling us how many
verses there arc containing but thtee words in the New
Testament Scriptures (not the New Ilevisou) by Novem
ber lOlli, 1883. Should two or more correct answers be
received, the rewad will be divided. The money will be
forwarded to the winner November 15th, 1883. Persons
trying for the reward must send 20 cents in silver (no pos
tage stamps taken) witli their answer, for which they
will receive the December Monthly, in which the name
and address of tlio winner of the reward and correct an
swer will be published, and in which several more valua
ble rewards will be offered. Address Rutledgk Pons
i.iflnrNO Company, Easton, Pa.
Tho Bates Student contains a communication relative
to lite marking system in common uso in tho most of our
colleges. The logic is sound and the whole train of
reasoning meets with our views exactly.
First Freshman ; "There goes Miss VanSant. Do you
know her!" Second Frcshmau: "Yes, I've been intro
duced, but I iutendjjto cut her. Fortunately whenever I
meet her, she's looking the other way," Bates Student.
The Hamilton College Monthly is entirely unamious
that coeducation is mentally, physically and morally
wrong. Oh! get out! What do you kuow about co-education
anyway! Wait until you have tried it and you
will declare that it is a Heaven born Institution (witli
large capitals.)
The Ex. of the Gleaner opens up by mentioning that
he enters upon his ofllce with fear and trembling. This
is not the spirit at all. When an unhappy student
is elected by an admiring constituency to the lucrative
position of Ex man he ought to fling away ambition
part his flowing capillaries in a mediocre manner, don a
quaker tile and prepare to "turn the other cheek."
That is the way we do, and we find that it works
beautifully.
That sweet little high school paper the Premier is
again thrust through our door. It bearly escaped assasi
nation at the last mass meeting held in relation to it;
'and it was only owing to the best common sense of the
school being absent that it did not receive funeral honors.
What does a high.school want to publish a journal for!
Why don't the children devote their lime to arithmetic
instead of newspaper work; why don't the honorable
school-board that is supposed to have tho management of
the children prohibit a mortifying attempt at the unat
tainable with the same unamity with which they would
prohibit gum, gunpowder, matches etc. etc.
Our old friend the Undergraduate looms up in its new
clothes and renlly presents a metropolitan appearance.
However it resembles its previous state so nearly as to
surprise us. We see the same old abstract, unreadable,
philosophical literary articles, the same old, "no auomy
mous contributions will be received;" the same old mild
and affable local editor; the same old cross dyspeptic
Ex. man and the same familiar ads on the lost page.
The students of the Undergraduate College have been ex
pandinc their chests and hardening their muscles by a
sixteen miles "Hare and Hound.,' It seems that the kind
faculty gave them two days recreation for this purpose,
We wibh we were there.
That double-leaded conundrum, the Eclectic Record, &
after us with its tiny dart This time it advises us to go
to the woods and do divers acts not sot down in onr com
plete manual of etiquette. The highly cultured, reapecta
ble and intelligent link that edits the Record is somewhat
swerved from his pedestal. He may not know probably
does not because we cannot discover any glimmer of In
telligence in his writings that the editorial staff of the
Student does not live in sucli close proximity to the
woods and the other institutions of the highly civilized
and extremely intellectual State of Missouri as he him
self does. Therefore wo are unable to follow his advice
and enter upon a full course of his valuable gymnastics.
N. B. we will not charge you auy thing for this gratu
tious ad of your extensively circulating quarterly.
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