Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 15, 1883)
fc, . -i...M.L 8 THE HESPERIAN STUDENT. JZ5 jxchmQC ric-n-rtc. A lazy man's soliloquy: "I would bo quite willing to sit up at my meals if I could ouly lay down nt my work." Ex1 i For general perfection in get up, our Bus. Man. as sues us that the Transcrip, captures tlio cocoanut. On rellec-lion wo agree with him. "Subscriber" asks: "Which is tlio best way to tell a rotten egg?" If you havo anything to tell a rotten egg. the best way is to use tlio telephone. Ex. It is real funny sometimes to see a lady hail a street-care, You can't tell by her maneuvers -whether she's counting tho passengers, ilirting with the driver' or trying to scare the mules. Ex. Real Etiquette Quest; "Don'tyou know any better than to walk into my room without rapping? you see I am all undressed." Servant; Oh! you needn't excuse yourself, mum, I don't mind." Ex. So tho board of editors under which tho Student Vis itor labors, express their intention of making the Vis. itor n "first class literary journal." "Well they are cer tainly succeeding in making it a first class literary curiosity. "Pomade, sir?" politely said a barber to a crank cus tomer in his chair. "No he growled, "I don't want any olemargarine on my head!" "All right, sir," replied the cranium manipulator, "I never put buttei on a cabbage head." Ex. A new friend nppoars on the top of our pile Volantc by name. Wo are unable to criticize it unless, perhaps, we might find fault with tho large size oi tho type em ployed in its makeup. Tho matter embodied in the type is good and the general appearence is altogether pleas ing. What to her was lovo orhopo? What to her was Joy and caro? Sho stopped on a bar of soap That tho janitor left on tho top-most stair. And her feet flow out llko wlldflrcro things, And sho struck each stair with a sound llko a drum : And tho Janitor below with tho scrubbing things Laughed like a fiend to seo her como. 1402. A Weeping Water lady dropped in on one of her neighbors, for an afternoon call. "How is your son ?" she inquired. "Splendid ho has just got back from tho niversity, where ho ciphered clear through from ambi. ion to chemical fractures, and then he took up pottery and jobbery and says ho can speculate tlio internal calcutions. Ex. At a fashionable breakfastnenr Boston, the hostess ex tended a number of graceful courlesics toward an el derly nentlcman who wns present, eliciting tho inquiry from him: "What should we do without the ladies?" Tho old response was made in reply: "Have a ta0iiation." Shortly afterwards a special courtesy on tlio pnrt of the elderly gentlonan oalledoultho inquiry: "What should we do without the gentlemen?" A gifted Ilnrtford lady who was among tho guests replied impromptu: 'Have a donation." Ex. Freshman of unrighteous proclivities war detected us ing a translation tho other day and it Is going hard with him. Ho wants lo know if that was Homco's meaning when ho said post equitem scdet atra eura. Ex. Another new suit. The Wcslcyan Bee appears in a green cover with a cut ol tho University, very noatly xc cutcd, as trimming. The paper upon which tho Dee is prin ted is not nearly as good us was used in tho old style, but probably the corps of editors will make amends for tho pnrslmoniousncss of tho business manager by giving to their patrons some literary matter worthy of tho name. The compositors made several mistakes in tho sotting up of the exchange column of our last number and If tho truth must bo told, tho editor is also in fault, owing to his neglect to carefully read the proof. Wo would bo pleased to have the Occidental Mirror Introduce Into our nolico of it the word "hotter" where It will do tlio most good. It will make tho sense better. We arc sorry about the poor appearance our page presented and wo will not let It occur again. The posMnan has just fired tho September number of the Adelphian through our office door. Upon examining it we are exceedingly disappointed to find that tlio beauti ful pictures that so much adorned tiie pages of tlio last volume, arc omitted. We hope that litis unwelcome change is not a permanent one. If it is wo are afraid U.at the paper will be less attractive, unless tho literary departments arc enough bettered to compensate fo: tho discontinuation of tho "piotutesquo" part. The Asbnry Monthly Haunts the bloody shirt in our fa ces. In other words it appears in a surprisingly now colored cover. We cannot exactly state what tho peculiar reddish shade is called but, we believe that it is "masticated mongoose" or "extinguished elephant" or something of that sort. Tlio shape of the Asbury Is very much improved and probably it is changed for tho belter. Wo will frame a copy of it and hang it over our desk and possibly we may get used and inured to the remark able brilliance of the cover. We would'nt be an editor on a weekly paper for all the trade dollars in circulation. It is a continual source of amazement to us that the corps of the Badger and Press, our Wisconsin friends, never give vent to any expressions of insanity in tho columns over which they preside. Tho Mephistophelcs of our olllco duna us for copy 0 often that we cannot understand how a moro frequent visit from this fiend can bo endured without a relapse into lunacy. Perhaps this apparent immensity from a maniacs doom is owing to the climate of Wis consin since ico can bo obtained in that latitude at reasonable rates. If the College Student don't let that "Fat student" have a little needful rest and recreation "something will havo to be did." It is surprising how very flat the humor of the College Student is becoming. If the amaluro Mark Twains and Robert Burdetts with which our schools and Universities are swarming could bo consolidated into one man, his genius would bring him world-wide re noun. But when each of the embryonic humorists havo enough innate wit to write only one good tiling a year and when they insist upon inflicting two columns n month on their unhappy readers, it becomes decidedly monotonous after u few experiences. ( T 4
