8
THE HESPERIAN STUDENT,
TAFFY
Siuuson was an eminent traioitiaii In his day, uiirt In
liis-last net lie brought down llio hou,so. &,
"'Tho Sunbeam is. from a ladles seminary .ami sinco wo
fife Very gallant we will Hot say how poor it is.
' From Cannlia" comes the '.JomYf College licoicw. It la
as dry and'uYfiiitb'festlii'gns'nll the o'th'cYs lhat hull from'
Titfrtoy6i.u'' n t - -.; ' ;';. v
An tj'uljan cliiol 'a'dei- the rnhiaulio fashldri or his
raci calls his gnn nBo()U.ngent,'",.becuisu II isnu old
smooth-bore. Ex.
rr
"Two Japanese girls are at Vassar.. It is a beautiful
and alluding sight to see the American girls tcacliihg
tliom' to slide down the banisters. Ex.
Tliu Chinese Prof, at Yale had one student last year.
,The student progressed so favorably that at tuo end ol
the year he was able to enjoy reading It is first tcaciicst.
j-JSx.
.. A, lawn tennis convention is shortly to be held in New
York. Tlio devotees of the wild and exciting game of
bop.seotcb have not yet named a day for their conven
tion. Exx
The Academian is the worst paper wo have over seen.
N. B. There are two papers of this .name, and it Will
be useless for the fighting oditorof either to call on us.
We have "lefi u hole."
A second prep, went fishing the other day. "What did
you catch," asked his room-mate. "0 1 I succeeded in
capturing an Anquillo Canadensieus, a fine specimen of
the Malacoptuygious fish." The zoology had affected
his brain. Ex.
"Who Were the first into the breaches?" asked the
professor when the class in history was assembled. "The
patches," said tlio new smart boy. But tho Prof, mark-
ed him minus and Slid no. The holes were in before
tho patches. Ex.
Will the editors of college papers ever st p talking
nbout "yo local?" Tho continual use of this archaism is
a conceit quite worn out. Wo heartily wisli that "ye
local" and "ye co-eds" would strike up a match and
elope to the Fiji Islands.
"What era you say of the second law o1" thought?"
Student: "It cannot both be and not be. For example
the door over there must lie cither open or shut. It can
not be both shut aud open." Tutor: "Give another illus.
tration." Student: "Well, take the case of another door."
Ex.
There is a sweet, smnll, nicely printed little paper
called the Oracle. We lost it out of our vest pocket and
consequently we cannot say hi what high-school it takes
its rise. It is a very modest paper and its genral
character can be understood from its motto. Hero
is tho motto: "I am Sir Oracle nnd when I speak let
uo dog bark."
Iu tho 0 resent May number we find a column and
ouo half poevn "Palace oi the Alhamba." is tho name
under which tt labors. It treats of a wierd nnd mysteri
sun subject in n wierd aud mysterious way. We could
staud the poem but tho locals lloored us there is nothing
in them. Remember tho beatitude, "Blessed is he who
has nothing to say and cannot bo persuaded to say it."
- The Gleaner is not blessed with a nice piecoptlou of
"the illness of thing"." Some of the locals aro rather
rough and coarse, but perhaps this Is only natural because
wo infer Irom what wo see, In the Olcanor, that tho stu
dents arc not very observant of the laws of politeness.
Chapel exercises aro disturbed, knock-down lights and
bitter sarcasms indulged hi, and class linos aro sharply
ilrayu. ,
The Borkeloyan has suspended publication for tho rest
of tio j e,ar." Occidmi. Wo aro not at all surprised.
In fact we wonder how it has kept up as long as it lias,
tlis.'tlio most ill-tempered of our exchanges and ought
not to bo patronized by any of California's wholo smiled
sons. The way in which tho Berkeletan treated us after
wo gave it a nice l'ltle puff It took us just eighteen
'minutes by tno clock to write It--and tho return it made
us for the carefully constructed compliment was ox
t omely unkind. .
Tho cover of the Wittenberger Is resplendent wltn gilt
illuminations. By all means shine somewhere Widen.
bergcr if not inside thou outside. When wo glanced
down tho "Contents" we wero horlfled to see notice of an
article entitled " V Diagnosis of Wittenberg's Professors."
At first we thought that tho Medical Department was
about to hold a clinic or thai the professors wero candis
dates for tlio dissecting table, or that small pox had
broken out; but no, judge of our releif when we found
only a few statistics regarding ago aud weight, and "fa
vorite amusements."
The Noith-wcst Missouri School Journal intimates
very strongly that tho inhabitants of Lincoln arc barba
rians. This is probably intended by tlio exchange editor
for irony. In fact tlio exchange columo contains a
number of specimens of this rhotorielo figure, tlio noatest
of which reads something as follows. "Tho School Joun
2f.vij is a very neat p'linplilot and it contains several read
able articles." Considering these two paragraphs as at
tempts at deceit and not as irony, wo arc compelled to
say tltal the first is much bettor constructed than the sec
ond, for possibly some of the sons of Missouri hailing
from "James" Co. might bo brought to believe that Nc
braskaus were as tough customers as themselves; but as
for the second nobody is fooled by that. Not even tho
editor of the School Journal himself.
Tlio last number of St. .Wary'a Sentinel contains a
"poetical and beautiful" essay that is a curiosity. The
subject is, ''An Evening Walk,1' and during this walk
the pedestrian is chased by sheep, is entranced with the
heavenly melody that bursts foith from tho azure throat
of the sweet-voiced blue-jay, is transported with delight
at tlio graceful squirrels that wero springing with "won
drous dexterity from branch to branch" and is charmed
by tho scenery iu general. WhM college president was it
who suid to an embryonic Itufus Ohoatc, after having exs
amined a proposed speech ol the amateur orator, "Very
flue indeed young man, I liavo no fault whatever to find
with it. Tho thought nnd composition aro botli admir
able, but I incideutly notice in it, fivo 'midnight wolves',
six 'sipulchral owls,' four 'star-spangled banners' and two
'American Eagles.'" We aro unacquainted with tlio nnme
of the gentlemen who made this humorous criticism,
but wo have always thought that It exactly lilted the pro
ductions of many writers.
K
X
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