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About Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885 | View Entire Issue (June 1, 1883)
8 THE HESPERIAN STUDENT, TAFFY Siuuson was an eminent traioitiaii In his day, uiirt In liis-last net lie brought down llio hou,so. &, "'Tho Sunbeam is. from a ladles seminary .ami sinco wo fife Very gallant we will Hot say how poor it is. ' From Cannlia" comes the '.JomYf College licoicw. It la as dry and'uYfiiitb'festlii'gns'nll the o'th'cYs lhat hull from' Titfrtoy6i.u'' n t - -.; ' ;';. v An tj'uljan cliiol 'a'dei- the rnhiaulio fashldri or his raci calls his gnn nBo()U.ngent,'",.becuisu II isnu old smooth-bore. Ex. rr "Two Japanese girls are at Vassar.. It is a beautiful and alluding sight to see the American girls tcacliihg tliom' to slide down the banisters. Ex. Tliu Chinese Prof, at Yale had one student last year. ,The student progressed so favorably that at tuo end ol the year he was able to enjoy reading It is first tcaciicst. j-JSx. .. A, lawn tennis convention is shortly to be held in New York. Tlio devotees of the wild and exciting game of bop.seotcb have not yet named a day for their conven tion. Exx The Academian is the worst paper wo have over seen. N. B. There are two papers of this .name, and it Will be useless for the fighting oditorof either to call on us. We have "lefi u hole." A second prep, went fishing the other day. "What did you catch," asked his room-mate. "0 1 I succeeded in capturing an Anquillo Canadensieus, a fine specimen of the Malacoptuygious fish." The zoology had affected his brain. Ex. "Who Were the first into the breaches?" asked the professor when the class in history was assembled. "The patches," said tlio new smart boy. But tho Prof, mark- ed him minus and Slid no. The holes were in before tho patches. Ex. Will the editors of college papers ever st p talking nbout "yo local?" Tho continual use of this archaism is a conceit quite worn out. Wo heartily wisli that "ye local" and "ye co-eds" would strike up a match and elope to the Fiji Islands. "What era you say of the second law o1" thought?" Student: "It cannot both be and not be. For example the door over there must lie cither open or shut. It can not be both shut aud open." Tutor: "Give another illus. tration." Student: "Well, take the case of another door." Ex. There is a sweet, smnll, nicely printed little paper called the Oracle. We lost it out of our vest pocket and consequently we cannot say hi what high-school it takes its rise. It is a very modest paper and its genral character can be understood from its motto. Hero is tho motto: "I am Sir Oracle nnd when I speak let uo dog bark." Iu tho 0 resent May number we find a column and ouo half poevn "Palace oi the Alhamba." is tho name under which tt labors. It treats of a wierd nnd mysteri sun subject in n wierd aud mysterious way. We could staud the poem but tho locals lloored us there is nothing in them. Remember tho beatitude, "Blessed is he who has nothing to say and cannot bo persuaded to say it." - The Gleaner is not blessed with a nice piecoptlou of "the illness of thing"." Some of the locals aro rather rough and coarse, but perhaps this Is only natural because wo infer Irom what wo see, In the Olcanor, that tho stu dents arc not very observant of the laws of politeness. Chapel exercises aro disturbed, knock-down lights and bitter sarcasms indulged hi, and class linos aro sharply ilrayu. , The Borkeloyan has suspended publication for tho rest of tio j e,ar." Occidmi. Wo aro not at all surprised. In fact we wonder how it has kept up as long as it lias, tlis.'tlio most ill-tempered of our exchanges and ought not to bo patronized by any of California's wholo smiled sons. The way in which tho Berkeletan treated us after wo gave it a nice l'ltle puff It took us just eighteen 'minutes by tno clock to write It--and tho return it made us for the carefully constructed compliment was ox t omely unkind. . Tho cover of the Wittenberger Is resplendent wltn gilt illuminations. By all means shine somewhere Widen. bergcr if not inside thou outside. When wo glanced down tho "Contents" we wero horlfled to see notice of an article entitled " V Diagnosis of Wittenberg's Professors." At first we thought that tho Medical Department was about to hold a clinic or thai the professors wero candis dates for tlio dissecting table, or that small pox had broken out; but no, judge of our releif when we found only a few statistics regarding ago aud weight, and "fa vorite amusements." The Noith-wcst Missouri School Journal intimates very strongly that tho inhabitants of Lincoln arc barba rians. This is probably intended by tlio exchange editor for irony. In fact tlio exchange columo contains a number of specimens of this rhotorielo figure, tlio noatest of which reads something as follows. "Tho School Joun 2f.vij is a very neat p'linplilot and it contains several read able articles." Considering these two paragraphs as at tempts at deceit and not as irony, wo arc compelled to say tltal the first is much bettor constructed than the sec ond, for possibly some of the sons of Missouri hailing from "James" Co. might bo brought to believe that Nc braskaus were as tough customers as themselves; but as for the second nobody is fooled by that. Not even tho editor of the School Journal himself. Tlio last number of St. .Wary'a Sentinel contains a "poetical and beautiful" essay that is a curiosity. The subject is, ''An Evening Walk,1' and during this walk the pedestrian is chased by sheep, is entranced with the heavenly melody that bursts foith from tho azure throat of the sweet-voiced blue-jay, is transported with delight at tlio graceful squirrels that wero springing with "won drous dexterity from branch to branch" and is charmed by tho scenery iu general. WhM college president was it who suid to an embryonic Itufus Ohoatc, after having exs amined a proposed speech ol the amateur orator, "Very flue indeed young man, I liavo no fault whatever to find with it. Tho thought nnd composition aro botli admir able, but I incideutly notice in it, fivo 'midnight wolves', six 'sipulchral owls,' four 'star-spangled banners' and two 'American Eagles.'" We aro unacquainted with tlio nnme of the gentlemen who made this humorous criticism, but wo have always thought that It exactly lilted the pro ductions of many writers. K X -4 mmmv nmwiiwiimii
