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About Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885 | View Entire Issue (June 1, 1883)
THE HESPERIAN STUDENT. - y Wo understand simo of the seniors protest against hnv lug tho full particulars given in tho senior statistics. The champion fiddler of the University enmo in contact with the chromo tho other day and terrible was tho result thereof. "Can you sing falsetto?" asked a co-ed of her Friday evening concomitant as they were nearlng the stairway. "No dear, I never could reach that," "I thought perhaps you could, having a falsetto' teeth. Tho Gcrmaa class must ho careful how much they talk about tho other instructors in their conversations. They might call to visit them and hear things which might effect tho students future marks. Tho audlcuco of the Presbyterian church was mortified a few Sundays since at seeing tho gentleman (V) organist seat himself in tho only chair, leaving tho lady vocalist to find a comfortable (?) seat on tho floor. Tho Lieut, has tho Rheumatism occasionally, In the most acute form; still, strange to say this conditton only favors an interesting game at Lawn Teuls. Lot us see I bcllovo they play this at tho Capitol. This Year's spring poems aro an unusually tough lot Did we dare wo would publish some of them in our col. umns. But wo represent an anti-dynamite sheet aud do not want to "raise the Irish." Thcrcforo wo will desist. Tho gloom of examinations has settled deeply around the University and even tho usual good nature of this model sheet has been seriously affected by its shadows of doubt, rainbowed, Indeed, by the fair hope of 60 percent. "Why don't the students tear up sidewalks, steal gates, dig up tho Janitor's gardens, get 70 or 81 demerits or do some other outre act, so that the Locals might have a good live column without being obliged to rely entirely upon their invagination? There is need of reform in this direction. Student returned home so late one night (morning) from society that his bedmate on being awakened by his groping about in search of a match, asked what time it was and how long he had been up? If it were not for bringing in Mr. Polk's name wo would tell the whole story but wc do not like to be personal so we will leave off here. June 1st the High School Commencement evolved it sely entirely to the satisfaction of those present. The terrible atorm, to be sure, kept rwoy a host of the scnool's friends and for their sakes aud the sake of. the graduat ing (ad) dlasses we should think that tho weather clerk should be more careful in the future how he slings arouud infant cyclones and flooU9. Some of the farm boys who, unfortunately, were minus tho pecuniary qualifications wherewith to go to the races, tried to go to them over the fence. They were out, for Uncle Bobby Mi".hcll caught sight of them aud left one sticking on top of the fence, another took an unpremedi tated bath in Salt Creek, whilst the remnant slunk back to the farm and stole cgqs euough to let them in. Some of our younrj sprouts have found it very conven ient to utilize the sofas of several of our studeutieuues and report them very comfortable. One in particular down on was it 13 St? found a sofa so comfortable that he could scarcely leave it a single night Ho is not the only 6ne who thought so, for the boys above who used to look and listen through a roglstorjust over It often wished t exchange places with him, aud almost died of envy to see what a heaven it was. Studonts whoso room-mates havo received tlto l. Htcn should bo very careful how long thoy stand at tho gnto Somo timo ago ouo of our men of brains unknown to hluiself, was followed by his "pard" to within a block of the aacrcd domicilo, where tho attendant awaited his re turn. Aftor conversing for a fleoting hour, ho was awa kened to life by tho melodious sounds of "Wo won't go homo till morning" which welled from across tho way His room-mate Is slowly recovering. Without an explanation, our readers may well wonder why tho Student does not issuo a supplement for the lo cals iu order that thoy might personalize themselves to their heart's content. Wo thoreforo wish it to bo dis tinctly understood that some officious and malicious per sons havo been aiding us quito exteusivcly in filling up our columns. Consequently, wo wore not at fault for tho locals teeming so much wlth"soh" as they seemed to in tho last issue. Wo aro neither proud ncr especially deslr ous of notoriety aud do not wish people to think we are. We notice that many of tho college papers are offering prizes for essays written expressly for their columns. Wo will follow in their immortal footsteps and offer tho following subjects: first, The Laocoon aud Peck's bad boy Compared; second, Cincinati In tho Middle Ages; third, Indefinable Disproportion ateners and its influence ou the Angel Gabriel ; fourth, Pinafore as Played by tho Puritaus: Fifth, Darwinism aud its influence on the Cre ation. For the beat essay we offer 25 ceuts and an au thenticated engraving of our Chromo ; for the second 15 cents and a package of melon seeds. Every seed war- rented. Essays due ou or before July 1st. N. B. We res serve tho right to reject all essays whether meritorious or not. On Decoration day tho Cadets boldly took the lead of the G. A. R. procession and marched as usual to 28 St. When they arrived at their destination thej halted, broke ranks, fell in and marched all the delightful journey to the Cemetery. The G. A. R.'s program this year, except for its length, was excellent, comprising an oration by his excellency Gov. Dawes, besides several speeches and two really good original poems. Thccadetsand their band were highly complimented with respect to discipline and music. However, the bass drummer should remember that a drum head can not stand a blow of over 1000 lbs. violence, aud that bayonets are not just the things for drum sticks. Some person or persous having very little thought of the hereafter walked in at the window of the Chancellor's office ono night recently and made themselves very fa miliar with every thing to be found there. They took from tho library a number of valuable books, built a sort of tower from them, something after the stylo of the tower of Babel, filled it with powder, evidently in tending to open up tho books and examine their pro found contents, but for some reason the scheme proved abortive, poor matches perhaps. Not being content with this, it having proven a shameful failure, they proceeded to tear a largo unabridged lexicon into a mil Ion pieces. Tho latter deviltry was carried out with perfection, and shows clearly that tho nocturnal hood lums were adepts at their business.
