H33
THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
8
TAFFY
A quail on toast is bettor than two in Iho bush.
Butlers Analogy, Prof. "Mr. T. you may pass to tho
future life' " Mr. T. "Not prepared."
Asoholar, just learning Latin etymology, said that
equinox was tho Latin for nlghtsmaro.
Tho most diminutive shoot upon our list is tixoShattuck
Oadct. It is good what there is of it.
At Iowa College tiio library is opou only two hours a
day and tho flews Letter grumbles. Good reason.
College Bxys Is fairly good, but U Is not romarkablo
for auylhing in particular oxcopt somo fearful poetry.
Tho Undergraduate is a modol journal. For news
merit and real Bubstanoo It will bear comparison with
any papor upon ourlist.
Another "largest telescope in tho world." It brings
tho moon so near that tho mau enn bo distinctly heard
yelling "Don't shoot." Ex.
Next wo shall bo having a coat-tall flirtatiou code.
Having tho tails covered with mud will moan I don't
like her father. College Record.
Tho closo of a patriotic oration by a Prop: "Yes our
country shall remain until Gabriel plays his last trump
aud orders up tho uulveisc. Ex.
Hostess: "What muatyou really go, Professor?" Pro.
lessor: "My dear madam, there is a limit even to my
capacity of Inilicting myself on my friends!" Hostess:
"O no not at all, I assure you!" Ex.
Orphous drew rocks by tho all compelling power of his
music. Tho music of tho harmless, necessary cat is still
more potent. It not only draws rocks, but pokers, boot
jacks, ami all sorts of movable furniture.
Tho Acadia Athenaeum is printed on very heavy paper
of a cream colored tint. This gives to it the appearance
a "genuine Caxton" or somo such veneraablo publica
tion. Tho. reading matter, however, is excellent.
Tho Asbury Monthly wants tho faculty to put n stop to
orators using notes as an aid in delivery. It does not
hurt any one but the orators themselves and if thoy want
to injure. their memory and scholarship, why, let them.
Tho Reveille published under the auspices of a mili
tary school. It is a good paper fjr tho place; but why
have af green cover? As an improvement wo suggest
cadet grey trimmed with gold braid and a row of buttons
down tho front.
ThoPram'cr is a high-school paper, a leaf of advertise
ments alternates with u leaf of reading matter, thus giving
to it tho appearance of a patent medicine almanac. Tho
Premier is fully as good, however, as many more proton,
tious periodicals.
"Hull gcntlo spring I olhcrenl mildness ball l"
Xlius quoth tho poot, andhlprayorprovllcd,
For scarcely had ho tuned his lyro to bIur,
Bcforo tho weather altered and it hailed.
Ex.
Tho Blackburnian informs us that every student in tho
Unlvorslty lis the happy possessor of some kind of a mu
sical instrument, and that great interest is taken in this
branch of tho flue arts. Ah ! How wo pity tho Inhabittants
of that doomed city !
Instructor "You apom evolving that translation from
your Inner consciousness." Soph.-"Voll Professor, I road
iivmy devotions last night that, 'by faith Euocli was trans
latod,' aud I thought I would try It on Homor."
The Ohaddoek.
For a good literary paper tho Spectator Is preeminent.
For nows It is not unsurpassed. A Httlo rnoro local would
sond tho Spectator to the head of tho class. As it is, tho
magazine is admirably edited and much bolter than tho
majority of collogo publications.
Tho oxchango column of tho Sunbeam is conducted iu
an original manner. It consists of quotations from tho
various college papers, and contains no comments what,
over. It strikos us that "Clippings" would bo a moro ap
propriate name than "Exchanges" for such a department.
Wo do not think that tho Tale Record Is as good a jour
nal as ought to bo expected from so famous an institution.
Tho literary department is filled with tho productions of
would-bo wits. Sometimes a really good thing appears,
bnt tho majority aro exceedingly vapid and moaningloss.
Tho locals, however, aro "A No. 1."
The oxohaugo editor of the Cornellian must have boon
driukiug syrup "as a bovorage" lately, for ho gives all tho
papers gratuitous puQ's of surprising magnitudo, and man
ifests a saccharine spirit generally. Wo like to sco our
friend in such a good frame of mind, as it is said that a
good humor is tho greatest ouomy Death possesses.
ThoWooster Collegian contains a mathematical dopart
mout Wo do not understand what object it is intended
to attain to. Can it be possible that there are any students
at the University of Woostor who really like mathomat
cs? Out hero we got enough of such amusement in
class, and consequently we do not care for any outside.
It is very difficult to look at the well known picture of
Staulcy and flvo Negroes in a skiff fighting 840,271,824,
548, 227,420,002 savago negroes, all armed with repeat
ing aud breech loading rifles, at ten paces, without .ylold
iug to tho impression that either Mr. Stanley is given to
prevarication or that the artist has misunderstood his
figures.
Tho articles composing the literary department of tho
Institute Index have rather a juvenile air about them, save
only one entitled "Martin Luther"'which Is good enough
to make up for the deficiencies of tho others. Tho local
column is full of blind allusions to "pickles." Why don't
tho local toll us tho joke at once, and not keep beating
around tho bush iu such an aggravating manner?
Tho oxchaugo editor of tho Dickimonian is nothing if
not unique. Tho column over which ho presides is writ
ten up in tho style of a patent uovol such as tho Chicago
Tribune frequently affords its many readers but some
how it don't look well ; rather forced and indicates too
much mental exertion on tho part of tho distinguished
author. All tho rest of tho papor h up to tho standard.
Tho University Quarterly, of Now York University, is
not a very frequent visitor, but, whonovor it comes, it is
an oxamplo of what a really first class college paper
should bo. In the recent number tho editorial and liter
ary departments aro of rare excellence, and tho local ab
solulely perfect. Tho mako-up of this magazine is very
fine, and taking it all together It is a fit object of prldo to
he students of tho University of Now York.
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