THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
Tlio student who nto flipper at the Commercial under
Iho imoression that ho was getting a square meal for a
quarter, but who on settling his bill was charged $1.00,
jumped up from the table and remarked ' Imhoff."
The following arc the names of those on the Palladtan
Juno class: Clem. Chase, oration: Josio Chapman
essay; Anna Saundors, eulogy; Frnnk Wood, essay;
Alice Tultle, recitation ; Brown and Mockett, debate.
Realizing the fact that the graduating class is quite
large this year, our worthy janitor, Breech, is making ex
tra off rt for Mowers this spring. Ho informs us that a
profi'cfesioual gardner hnsgeen procured to do the work.
A new student was asked b a ci-cd much In society
work, if he was n Union, or Palhulian. After stammer
ing awhile, then swallowinir down a largo accumulaed
gulp of timidity, ho said, "'I'm neither one, I'm a Prep."
The young ones German examination at the closoof last
term was held in the chaple. So much brimstone was evol
ved that there will probably be no more Chapel cxecises
this year unless a better system of ventilation bo secured.
The rumor that a professor of Cheek is about to bo ap.
pointed Is without foundation. The ltegcnls at their last
meeting looked into tho matter and decided that no teach
er could instruct tho firstcst of Preps in the most abslrucc,
chcekiau theories.
Wo alwnys know that University girls were popular.
As a proof of this wo cite the following: Miss Rosa Vin
cent, who has been in attendance at tho University for the
past year, was married on the 24th ult. to Mr. S. T. Robi
erts of Arrnpnlioc.
In the last Studkntout collcaguo Informed the world
that spring had come. Wo are sorry to contradict a friend,
but wo must say that he adulterated tho truth a wco bit
too much. Spring come indeed. Why last Sunday wo
found it rather cold!
We fell like emphasising a remark made by tho Associate
Editor an issue or two back. All students who leel any
interest in tho College paper should have enough Univer
sity spirit to purchase their 'supplies from those Mer
chants mid Tradesmen who advertlao in our paper.
A terrible rumor reached tho Sanctum tho other day to
the effect that all of tho Freshman girla wcro intending'to
get married shortly. Only think of it ; none of the edit
ors have made a break as yet, and they have not waited
for us. In the language of Dickens ; 'It is too bad."
An ingenious junior has invented a system of cons
vcrsation for tho library. Ho lias a card with all tho or
dlnary conversations printed upon it aud another with
answers. When ho wants to know any thing, ho points to
his questions aud hands his friend tho answer card. Wo
understand it works to a charm.
On Sunday last, tho Janitor informs us that some of
tho students made a raid on the chapel and succeeded in
carrying off the pulpit. Tho Janitor found it after much
lubor in tho Gallery the next morning. Tho Frcshles aro
unanimuB In laying It upon tho Sophs but they deny the
Imputation and refer it to tho props.
The Student office is now open to all University loaf
er, and tho compositor extends a general invitation to all
thoso wishing a pleasant place to loaf. Ho has ample
time to entertain as many as can possibly call in. Como
early and stay all day. You can't concolve ol tho un
bounded comfort your pleasant visits bestow.
Perhaps one of the most difficult feats of grafting over
accomplished was related to us a few weeks ago. A far
mer in Indiana, by grafting the buds of a sour apple trco
with sweet applo buds, produced un applo which had
four quarters, two being green and sweet, and two red
and sour. Tho quarters were perfectly divided. This is'
vouched for by good authority.
John Mockett and Paul Clark, while out duck hunt
ing u few days ago, captured a most remarkable specie of
the feathered creation, remotely allied to the duck family,
yet (hit) is not fully determined. Thoso desiring to sno
this curious bird, which tho boys, from scientific facts,
have given a polysyllabic appellation longer than u Dutch
examination, will bo accommodated any time they will
take the trouble, to step i '.'.? "Mnelcett's museum.
A Prep, who had just finished answering tho last ques
tion in the Latin examination, was so elated over his suc
cess that immediately on reaching tho hall ho began to
give vent to hta o'er flowing soul by singing in a loud,
clear, unmistakable tone, the L. M. doxology. His mollis
lluous swells had not been reverberating through the halls
very long, however, till four or five Infuriated Profs, wore
diligently seeking this inspired chanter, and ho was com
pelled to lake his leave.
just
"Now It is just tliis way, if I was suro thai" -
then his enormous appendages came in contact with a
cruel orange peel, his equilibrium was lost, aud his cor
porosity unceremoniously sought an argillaceous repose,
udjacent the pavement. What he meant to say will prob.
ably be forever with the innumerable unknown ; the utter
anco was abruptly loft unfinshed and as yet ho has not
sufficiently recovered from the effects of tho sudden tran
sition to recall where he left off.
Tho Y. M. C. A. of the university, is growing in num
bers aud interest. Seven active and six associate mem
bers joined during tho winter term- The following
officers are elected for the next term: Piesldeut, B. W
Marsh; Vice-president, Mary Compbell; Secretary. C. S.
Polk, Corresponding secretary, E. Fulmcr; Treasurer,
Anna Aldrlch. Prayer meetings In room No. 5, every
Wcdnovday evening, at 7;15. Bible class, taught by Prof
Hitchcock, in Chancellor's office, every Sunday morning
at 0;80. All are invited to attend.
Ono day during vacation one of our brightest literary
lights thought that ho would celebrate tho holidays by go
ing hunting. In the morning he started bravely out townrds
tho salt basin aud was lost to sight. About 7 O'clock in
the evening a couple of students found him scaled in tho
middle of ono of the marshes, searching for tho bottom
of the mud witli his borrowed gun. They succeeded in
getting him out on dry ground; but he has not yet suc
ceeded in getting the mud off his clothes or out of tho gun
barrel.
A student oi the genus green had an engagement with
u lady ono evening lasl term. At tho oppointcd time he
went to her boarding place. She vas pot there but think.
Ing that alio would soon bo In, engaged In chat with her
room mute. An hour or more elapsed when upon enquir
ing as to the whereabouts of tho young lany, he found
that she had moved. The face of the youth was a curlority.
Cold chills ran up and down his convulsive frame anilin
a husky whisper ho said "I guess I had bettor go." Wo
understand that he has left school.
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